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1
00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:05,541
(fire crackling)
2
00:00:05,583 --> 00:00:11,553
♪
3
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,223
Over here.
4
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,853
♪
5
00:00:15,895 --> 00:00:18,399
Leave it. Hey, just leave it!
6
00:00:18,483 --> 00:00:40,695
♪
7
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:43,116
Behind the dumpster, quick!
8
00:00:43,199 --> 00:00:44,995
Get down, shh, shh.
9
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,873
(dumpster rumbling)
10
00:00:46,999 --> 00:00:48,126
(children scream)
11
00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:49,461
Please, don't hurt them.
12
00:00:49,504 --> 00:00:51,842
(screaming)
13
00:00:51,883 --> 00:00:56,602
♪
14
00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:59,774
(gun charging)
15
00:00:59,858 --> 00:01:01,402
(laser blast)
16
00:01:01,444 --> 00:01:03,782
♪
17
00:01:03,824 --> 00:01:06,454
(flesh sizzling)
18
00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:14,929
♪
19
00:01:14,971 --> 00:01:17,977
Now that's what I call a hole in one.
20
00:01:18,102 --> 00:01:19,731
(lasers whizzing)
21
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:32,464
♪
22
00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:35,470
(popping and zapping)
23
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,807
There's the shock.
24
00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,476
(heavy breathing)
25
00:01:38,602 --> 00:01:40,105
♪
26
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,858
And awe.
27
00:01:41,942 --> 00:01:47,199
♪
28
00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:52,880
(explosion)
29
00:01:52,964 --> 00:01:57,013
♪
30
00:01:57,097 --> 00:01:59,853
Hey kid, I think you dropped this.
31
00:01:59,894 --> 00:02:01,732
♪
32
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:02,984
You're safe now.
33
00:02:03,109 --> 00:02:05,321
Can't say the same for
the rest of humanity.
34
00:02:05,447 --> 00:02:07,451
Who are you?
35
00:02:07,577 --> 00:02:10,583
- I'm Future Man.
- Joshy.
36
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:13,839
- No, I'm Future Man.
- Joshy!
37
00:02:13,922 --> 00:02:16,845
- Future Man.
- Joshy?
38
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,433
Joshy?
39
00:02:19,475 --> 00:02:20,561
Joshy!
40
00:02:23,232 --> 00:02:25,863
Joshy!
41
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,242
Dad, you don't have to wake me up, okay?
42
00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:29,579
I have an alarm clock.
43
00:02:29,621 --> 00:02:31,750
Yeah, but not one that
makes you pancakes.
44
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:34,506
Come on, you little buddy boo.
45
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:37,260
I'm an adult, you don't
have to make me pancakes!
46
00:02:39,389 --> 00:02:40,643
(joystick cracks)
47
00:02:42,647 --> 00:02:44,943
My joystick!
48
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,494
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:49,577 --> 00:02:50,746
(explosion)
50
00:02:55,255 --> 00:02:57,259
(door creaks)
51
00:02:57,342 --> 00:03:00,139
- Yo!
- Hey, Futterman!
52
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,018
- How you doing?
- I'm doing good,
53
00:03:02,102 --> 00:03:03,730
uh, except I need another joystick.
54
00:03:03,772 --> 00:03:05,024
Another one, what happened?
55
00:03:05,149 --> 00:03:07,028
You spazz out playing Biotic Wars?
56
00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:09,534
Smash your joystick... again?
57
00:03:09,659 --> 00:03:11,788
Why you still playing that stupid game?
58
00:03:11,872 --> 00:03:12,999
I know why.
59
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,796
Because he spanks it
to this one... Tiger!
60
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,640
That is not true, I do
not spank it to Tiger.
61
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,136
Dude, you spank it to Tiger so much,
62
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:21,140
your right hand should
be called Siegfried, man.
63
00:03:21,181 --> 00:03:22,267
Bam, you like that?
64
00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:23,311
I've been working on my slams.
65
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,647
Look, don't worry about it.
66
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,651
We all jerk it to video game people.
67
00:03:26,776 --> 00:03:27,904
I mean, she's not my type.
68
00:03:28,029 --> 00:03:29,406
I prefer Ms. Pac-Man.
69
00:03:29,489 --> 00:03:32,037
Ms. Pac-Man is married to Mr. Pac-Man.
70
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:34,041
No, because then she would be called
71
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,253
Mrs. Pac-Man, not Ms. Pac-Man.
72
00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,508
This is essentially Pac-Man's daughter.
73
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:39,761
I'm fucking Pac-Man's daughter
74
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:42,265
under Pac-Man's roof and
she's gobbling my dick like
75
00:03:42,307 --> 00:03:43,392
homp, homp, homp.
76
00:03:43,434 --> 00:03:45,396
Me personally, I've always
wanted to fuck Luigi.
77
00:03:45,438 --> 00:03:46,566
I love Italian dick.
78
00:03:46,691 --> 00:03:48,946
I bet Luigi's dick,
the whole dick is hairy.
79
00:03:49,071 --> 00:03:50,073
The whole dick.
80
00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:52,536
He has a dragon that shits eggs
81
00:03:52,578 --> 00:03:54,456
like a chicken, that's fucking dope.
82
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:58,297
Look, Luigi wouldn't last
one day in the Biotic Wars.
83
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,220
And, by the way, think about
Super Mario Bros. as a whole.
84
00:04:01,345 --> 00:04:03,558
It's a ridiculous game,
it makes no sense at all.
85
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,602
What do you mean, what do you mean?
86
00:04:04,727 --> 00:04:05,813
What do you mean, "What do you mean"?
87
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,440
Bowser builds a castle,
he knows there's little
88
00:04:07,525 --> 00:04:09,027
Italian plumbers that
are trying to stop him,
89
00:04:09,069 --> 00:04:11,073
but yet he makes these giant green pipes
90
00:04:11,198 --> 00:04:12,325
that lead right inside.
91
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:14,287
- That makes no sense.
- No, 'cause it's destiny.
92
00:04:14,371 --> 00:04:15,456
- Destiny?!
- That's how you know
93
00:04:15,499 --> 00:04:17,335
it's meant to be, he had big pipes.
94
00:04:17,377 --> 00:04:19,006
And the one thing he didn't see coming
95
00:04:19,131 --> 00:04:21,636
was two Italian plumbers that
fit exactly in those pipes.
96
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,389
Those games suck, come on!
97
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:24,517
Your games suck.
98
00:04:24,642 --> 00:04:26,521
Yeah, your game is literally unbeatable.
99
00:04:26,604 --> 00:04:28,399
That is why I play it,
100
00:04:28,525 --> 00:04:30,278
because it's unbeatable.
101
00:04:30,361 --> 00:04:32,783
Think about it. How many people
have beaten Halo?
102
00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,119
How many people have beaten Call of Duty
103
00:04:34,161 --> 00:04:36,040
or BioShock?
104
00:04:36,123 --> 00:04:37,752
I play this game because
no one has beaten it.
105
00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:39,421
Why would I want to beat a
game that everyone can beat?
106
00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:40,799
There's nothing special about that.
107
00:04:40,924 --> 00:04:43,429
- That's a true truth.
- Okay, I don't have time for this,
108
00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:44,515
I have to get to the lab.
109
00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:46,185
Yeah, have fun saving the world.
110
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:51,153
♪
111
00:04:51,278 --> 00:04:54,159
Earth 2162.
112
00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:57,373
The human race is on
the brink of extinction.
113
00:04:57,415 --> 00:05:00,672
The Biotics, a super
race immune to disease,
114
00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:02,300
have released a deadly virus
115
00:05:02,383 --> 00:05:03,762
killing nearly all of Earth's
116
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,891
40 billion inhabitants.
117
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:07,561
(clatter)
118
00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:12,655
♪
119
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:15,201
- Hey Carl.
- Hey, Josh, how are you?
120
00:05:15,326 --> 00:05:16,453
Living the dream.
121
00:05:16,538 --> 00:05:18,834
♪
122
00:05:18,917 --> 00:05:21,296
What's left of humanity
hangs on by a thread,
123
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:24,929
defended by a small army
known as the Resistance.
124
00:05:24,971 --> 00:05:27,560
I'm Tiger, this is Wolf.
125
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:28,812
You're our newest recruit.
126
00:05:28,854 --> 00:05:30,064
Come fight.
127
00:05:30,106 --> 00:05:31,943
Welcome to the Resistance.
128
00:05:32,026 --> 00:05:33,028
♪
129
00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:35,534
Would you like to load
previous game, Future Man?
130
00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:37,287
Yes, I would.
131
00:05:37,328 --> 00:05:39,207
Let's fuck this place up.
132
00:05:39,332 --> 00:05:41,588
Rip his fucking dick off!
133
00:05:41,671 --> 00:05:44,467
Weapon upgrade, X28 Psychoblaster.
134
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,430
Nice, X28 Psychoblaster.
135
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,600
Enemy vehicle approaching.
136
00:05:47,725 --> 00:05:48,727
Use your subatomic sensor mine.
137
00:05:48,852 --> 00:05:49,937
Thank you for that, Wolf.
138
00:05:49,979 --> 00:05:52,860
- Blow 'em back to hell.
- Yeah, hoo!
139
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,364
Come on, come on, come on, yes!
140
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,368
- I live for blood!
- Hey, Josh.
141
00:05:57,494 --> 00:06:00,082
Hoo, how long have
you been in here, buddy?
142
00:06:00,124 --> 00:06:01,586
It smells bad.
143
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,382
You know you're surrounded
by cleaning supplies, right?
144
00:06:04,508 --> 00:06:06,261
Yeah, yeah, no, I know,
I just... I'm in the middle
145
00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:07,347
of something right now, man.
146
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:08,390
Look, buddy, I hate to tell you this,
147
00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:10,353
but you might have
an unhealthy obsession
148
00:06:10,394 --> 00:06:11,648
with this video game.
149
00:06:11,773 --> 00:06:13,067
It's not unhealthy.
150
00:06:13,108 --> 00:06:14,695
So that's not a water bottle
151
00:06:14,737 --> 00:06:17,116
filled with your piss so you
don't have to stop playing?
152
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,079
No. No, it's... it's...
It's apple juice.
153
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,250
- Why don't you take a sip?
- 'Cause I'm not thirsty.
154
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:23,003
You're so thirsty right now,
155
00:06:23,128 --> 00:06:25,007
- and you love apple juice.
- Not that much.
156
00:06:25,091 --> 00:06:27,011
It's your third favorite juice.
157
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:30,142
- Not thirsty, dude.
- Then why you sweating right now?
158
00:06:30,226 --> 00:06:32,523
- You parched, you want a sip?
- Nope.
159
00:06:32,648 --> 00:06:34,150
'Cause it's piss.
160
00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:36,154
Anyway, what level are you on?
161
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,117
- Hoo, 83.
- 83?
162
00:06:38,142 --> 00:06:39,135
- Yep, yep.
- That's the one
163
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,413
you always die on, right?
164
00:06:40,539 --> 00:06:42,125
It is, and every time
I come back with more
165
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,377
and more weapons, however...
166
00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:45,047
I have never made it
this far with this many
167
00:06:45,131 --> 00:06:47,051
weapons in my arsenal.
168
00:06:47,135 --> 00:06:49,055
Get ready to witness history.
169
00:06:49,139 --> 00:06:50,391
♪
170
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:54,316
- Kill 'em all!
- To the left, to the left!
171
00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:55,527
I'm dead.
172
00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,656
That was fast!
173
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,117
So brutal.
174
00:06:59,159 --> 00:07:00,662
They took all your limbs.
175
00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:01,914
Yeah, they always do.
176
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,793
Well, at least it helped
me take my mind off
177
00:07:03,877 --> 00:07:05,296
all the shits I have
to plunge for a while.
178
00:07:05,421 --> 00:07:06,883
I am so glad you said that
179
00:07:06,924 --> 00:07:08,427
'cause I did not have a graceful way
180
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,141
to segue into this, um,
but there's actually
181
00:07:11,183 --> 00:07:13,646
more shits for you to plunge, buddy.
182
00:07:13,688 --> 00:07:14,899
I'm sorry.
183
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,654
It's okay, man, it's not your fault.
184
00:07:17,696 --> 00:07:21,328
Well, actually, one of 'em was.
185
00:07:21,411 --> 00:07:27,925
♪
186
00:07:27,966 --> 00:07:29,845
♪ Got a good thing ♪
187
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:32,308
♪
188
00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,853
♪ Got a good thing ♪
189
00:07:33,978 --> 00:07:36,651
♪
190
00:07:36,692 --> 00:07:40,157
♪ Got a good thing going,
got a good thing going ♪
191
00:07:40,199 --> 00:07:42,161
If you were as good at
cleaning as you are at leering,
192
00:07:42,203 --> 00:07:44,165
you'd be a pretty good janitor.
193
00:07:44,207 --> 00:07:45,418
But you aren't.
194
00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:47,840
You are a shitty janitor.
195
00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:50,094
Dr. Camillo, please,
just give me a break.
196
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,350
Oh, we gave Dr. Yakamura
a break to his collar bone
197
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:54,754
when he slipped on your wet floor
198
00:07:54,854 --> 00:07:55,939
and broke all my samples.
199
00:07:55,981 --> 00:07:57,860
I'm really sorry, Stu.
200
00:07:57,985 --> 00:08:00,699
Sorry doesn't re-swab those urethras.
201
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:03,621
Do you think I like swabbing urethras?
202
00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,627
Guess it depends on the urethra.
203
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:08,380
Nope, they're all bad.
204
00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:09,758
But I swab them all the same
205
00:08:09,884 --> 00:08:11,846
because it's my job, which is actually
206
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,098
really, really important,
207
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:15,604
unlike your job, which
could be done by a Roomba.
208
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,231
That's enough, Dr. Camillo.
209
00:08:17,273 --> 00:08:18,693
I'm sorry, Dr. Kronish.
210
00:08:18,735 --> 00:08:20,488
The custodial staff
doesn't work for you,
211
00:08:20,614 --> 00:08:22,366
they work for me, as do you.
212
00:08:22,493 --> 00:08:23,620
And if you want to keep working for me,
213
00:08:23,745 --> 00:08:25,206
I suggest less tongue-lashing
214
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:27,210
and more urethra-swabbing.
215
00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:28,713
Now, off you go, swab, swab.
216
00:08:28,838 --> 00:08:29,840
Right away, sir.
217
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,848
Whoa, thank you.
218
00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,102
I'd fire that jackass,
but goddamn he knows
219
00:08:36,228 --> 00:08:38,232
his way around a herpes culture.
220
00:08:40,776 --> 00:08:41,870
Sorry.
221
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,118
Oh, no, no, no, go on.
222
00:08:44,202 --> 00:08:45,997
Go on, get a good look.
223
00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:48,711
It's what we're fighting here,
the good fight.
224
00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:51,258
Hey, you know what they say,
keep your friends close,
225
00:08:51,341 --> 00:08:54,389
- but your enemies on your lip.
- Hmmm.
226
00:08:54,472 --> 00:08:55,600
Nice one.
227
00:08:55,642 --> 00:08:57,521
I was looking for a closer for my toast
228
00:08:57,646 --> 00:08:58,648
at the Christmas party.
229
00:08:58,773 --> 00:08:59,942
You mind if I use that?
230
00:08:59,984 --> 00:09:02,739
- Oh, yeah, it's all you.
- What's your name again?
231
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:05,244
- Uh, Futterman.
- Futterman.
232
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,622
Come take a walk with me.
233
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,753
Now, they call it herpes simplex,
234
00:09:09,837 --> 00:09:11,339
but there's nothing simple about it.
235
00:09:11,381 --> 00:09:14,262
I have been studying this
virus for over 40 years
236
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,099
seeking a cure.
237
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:19,272
It's why I became a scientist.
238
00:09:19,397 --> 00:09:21,401
Dr. Benson.
239
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,615
When's the last time
this possum ejaculated?
240
00:09:23,656 --> 00:09:25,660
- Three hours, sir.
- Perfect.
241
00:09:25,744 --> 00:09:27,789
Now, what was I talking about?
242
00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:31,129
- Uh, herpes.
- Oh, yes, of course.
243
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,676
I'll never forget the
night I contracted it.
244
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,557
It was the night of the moon landing.
245
00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:40,314
There was a big party
at the Pi Pi Gamma house
246
00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:41,399
at Caltech.
247
00:09:41,525 --> 00:09:42,611
The night of the moon landing?
248
00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:44,280
- Hmm.
- That is an historic moment
249
00:09:44,405 --> 00:09:45,533
to contract herpes.
250
00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:47,621
Oh, you should've been there.
251
00:09:47,663 --> 00:09:49,040
Maybe you could've
warned me that beneath
252
00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:50,292
that cherry red lipstick,
253
00:09:50,376 --> 00:09:52,547
Barbarella had an HSV-1 outbreak.
254
00:09:52,631 --> 00:09:53,800
Couldn't see it.
255
00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:57,139
- Look at this monstrosity.
- Oh, no, it's not that bad.
256
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,268
I mean, actually, it's like some people
257
00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,689
look good with a bald head,
258
00:10:00,814 --> 00:10:02,943
and you look good with a cold sore.
259
00:10:03,068 --> 00:10:05,824
So actually the way the
light's hitting it right now,
260
00:10:05,949 --> 00:10:07,076
it's kind of beautiful.
261
00:10:07,201 --> 00:10:09,957
One day, I'm gonna find a cure
262
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,334
for this hideous blemish.
263
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,088
Just have to keep trying new formulas.
264
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,967
Well, it's like Einstein said,
265
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,471
"Insanity is doing the
same thing over and over
266
00:10:17,597 --> 00:10:19,601
expecting a different result."
267
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:20,687
Thanks, Dr. Kronish.
268
00:10:20,729 --> 00:10:24,318
Oh, now, call me Elias.
269
00:10:24,402 --> 00:10:25,780
(chuckles)
270
00:10:25,822 --> 00:10:34,297
♪
271
00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:36,552
Janitor Futterman to
the executive restroom.
272
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,725
You are needed in
the executive restroom.
273
00:10:39,808 --> 00:10:44,066
There is a... big problem.
274
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:48,493
Josh, what's wrong?
275
00:10:48,576 --> 00:10:50,370
You barely touched your salmon.
276
00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:53,001
Can... can I have it?
277
00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:54,462
Yeah.
278
00:10:59,515 --> 00:11:02,228
Did you guys ever
think that I'd be doing
279
00:11:02,269 --> 00:11:03,523
something more with my life?
280
00:11:03,648 --> 00:11:06,110
What are you talking about, Joshy?
281
00:11:06,194 --> 00:11:08,991
You work for one of the top
sexual disease centers
282
00:11:09,075 --> 00:11:10,075
in the country!
283
00:11:10,118 --> 00:11:11,278
Every day you walk into work,
284
00:11:11,329 --> 00:11:12,624
you're curing disease.
285
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:15,254
I mean, I'm not curing disease.
286
00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:17,759
But you're cleaning up
after the people who are.
287
00:11:17,884 --> 00:11:20,013
Yeah, and literally
anybody could do that job.
288
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,517
Well, if you don't like it,
you can always do
289
00:11:21,642 --> 00:11:23,521
something else, you can do anything
290
00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:24,982
you set your mind to.
291
00:11:25,023 --> 00:11:26,276
We've always told you that.
292
00:11:26,359 --> 00:11:28,154
Yeah, you have, but it's not true.
293
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,117
I mean, considering
that I have a shitty job,
294
00:11:30,158 --> 00:11:31,537
and I still live at
home with my parents,
295
00:11:31,662 --> 00:11:32,873
and I didn't set my mind to that.
296
00:11:32,914 --> 00:11:34,668
Okay, I'm gonna be the bigger man here
297
00:11:34,751 --> 00:11:37,047
and not tell you how much
that emotionally winded me.
298
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:39,051
I know, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
299
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,178
And I instantly forgive you,
300
00:11:40,262 --> 00:11:41,431
that's how family works.
301
00:11:41,557 --> 00:11:43,895
And there's nothing weird about living
in your childhood home.
302
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:45,063
This is my childhood home,
303
00:11:45,188 --> 00:11:46,734
and I live here.
304
00:11:46,775 --> 00:11:48,361
This is a Futterman house.
305
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,243
I was conceived right
upstairs in the same room
306
00:11:50,282 --> 00:11:51,409
where I sleep with your mother.
307
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,871
The same room you were conceived in.
308
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,040
Gross, Dad, come on.
309
00:11:54,165 --> 00:11:56,252
And one day, God willing,
you'll conceive your own
310
00:11:56,294 --> 00:11:57,923
little Futterman in that same room.
311
00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,177
You should be encouraging
me to get out of the house!
312
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:01,304
But we don't want you to leave.
313
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,933
What about your video game?
314
00:12:03,016 --> 00:12:04,185
You're the best at it, right?
315
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,064
Doesn't that make you feel special?
316
00:12:06,189 --> 00:12:07,441
It's a video game.
317
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:08,778
It's not real, it's just an escape.
318
00:12:08,819 --> 00:12:11,282
I'm not helping anybody
by playing video games.
319
00:12:13,453 --> 00:12:17,461
All right, I'm gonna
go play video games.
320
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:19,591
Break their bodies!
321
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:22,429
That's a clean break, double points.
322
00:12:22,471 --> 00:12:25,352
Make it rain blood!
323
00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:26,730
- Yes!
- Level completed.
324
00:12:26,855 --> 00:12:28,943
Yes, yes, okay.
325
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:33,953
Here we are, again.
326
00:12:34,036 --> 00:12:36,457
Level 83.
327
00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:39,463
Every time I go in there guns blazing,
328
00:12:39,589 --> 00:12:41,092
and every time I die.
329
00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:42,971
I can't keep doing
the same thing again and again
330
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,977
expecting different results.
331
00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:47,814
I gotta try something different.
332
00:12:47,856 --> 00:12:56,999
♪
333
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,253
Unequip all gear.
334
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:05,892
♪
335
00:13:06,017 --> 00:13:07,269
Go, go, go!
336
00:13:07,352 --> 00:13:11,862
♪
337
00:13:11,887 --> 00:13:12,822
Oh, shit.
338
00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,868
Self-destruct sequence activated.
339
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:16,245
- Oh my God.
- Five.
340
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:17,749
- Go, go, go!
- Four.
341
00:13:17,774 --> 00:13:18,809
- Oh, my God, go!
- Three.
342
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:19,811
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Two.
343
00:13:19,836 --> 00:13:21,130
Run, you little fucker, run!
344
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:22,634
One.
345
00:13:22,717 --> 00:13:28,269
♪
346
00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:29,523
Congratulations.
347
00:13:29,606 --> 00:13:31,400
You have defeated all of the Biotics
348
00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:32,904
and saved humanity.
349
00:13:32,987 --> 00:13:36,119
You are the savior.
350
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,541
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
351
00:13:38,666 --> 00:13:40,418
Hey, guys!
352
00:13:40,503 --> 00:13:42,507
Guess what I did?
353
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:45,930
Hello?
354
00:13:53,278 --> 00:13:57,119
- Out to get snacks.
- And explore!
355
00:13:58,413 --> 00:13:59,749
(sighs)
356
00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:06,555
All right, Siegfried, you and me, pal.
357
00:14:09,435 --> 00:14:39,537
♪
358
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,082
Hey, Tiger.
359
00:14:41,207 --> 00:14:44,213
What are you doing
sniffing around these parts?
360
00:14:44,338 --> 00:14:47,052
Maybe it's because I'm in heat.
361
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:50,433
Heh, well then you're in the right place
362
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:52,062
'cause I'm in heat also.
363
00:14:52,104 --> 00:14:53,231
♪
364
00:14:53,356 --> 00:14:56,863
Although, technically,
male cats don't...
365
00:14:56,947 --> 00:14:58,366
Fuck it, it doesn't matter.
366
00:14:58,492 --> 00:14:59,953
Doesn't fucking matter.
367
00:14:59,995 --> 00:15:12,144
♪
368
00:15:12,269 --> 00:15:13,522
Future Man.
369
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,568
♪
370
00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:17,487
The fuck?
371
00:15:17,572 --> 00:15:19,492
Oh, I'm hit!
372
00:15:19,617 --> 00:15:20,745
What the fuck?!
373
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:23,207
(clatter)
374
00:15:23,249 --> 00:15:24,969
What are you doing here,
who are you people?
375
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:27,215
I'm Tiger, this is Wolf.
376
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:30,514
We've come back from the year 2162.
377
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,977
You're gonna help us save the world.
378
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:37,027
No, no, get out of here!
379
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,237
What, do you expect me
to believe you guys
380
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:39,657
are characters from my video game?
381
00:15:39,783 --> 00:15:41,745
It's more than just a game!
382
00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,665
God dammit, it's all over me!
383
00:15:43,749 --> 00:15:44,793
Relax.
384
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,170
Wolf, it's just a little cum.
385
00:15:46,295 --> 00:15:48,550
- It's a lot of cum!
- Wolf!
386
00:15:48,634 --> 00:15:49,803
Listen carefully.
387
00:15:49,886 --> 00:15:52,182
Everything that happens
in the Biotic Wars is real.
388
00:15:52,265 --> 00:15:55,564
The Biotics, the wars, everything.
389
00:15:55,648 --> 00:15:57,109
The game is a recruitment
and training tool
390
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:59,238
sent back in time to find the one person
391
00:15:59,279 --> 00:16:01,409
with the skills to save us.
392
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:02,745
A savior.
393
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,415
♪
394
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:06,628
It's you.
395
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:09,926
You're the first and only person
to have beaten the game.
396
00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:20,155
♪
397
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,075
That's The Last Starfighter.
398
00:16:22,159 --> 00:16:24,329
It's the exact same plot as the movie.
399
00:16:24,455 --> 00:16:25,457
What's a movie?
400
00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:27,085
Okay, who put you up to this?
401
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:29,298
The guys in the video game store?
Such dicks.
402
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:30,853
Is this part of your
arsenal of weaponry?
403
00:16:30,878 --> 00:16:31,820
No, no, please don't.
404
00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:33,724
That's a signed authen... Oh, my God!
405
00:16:33,807 --> 00:16:35,435
I paid my only bitcoin for that!
406
00:16:35,477 --> 00:16:36,855
Okay, listen, listen!
407
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,734
I know this is a lot for you to digest,
408
00:16:38,817 --> 00:16:39,903
but the clock is ticking
409
00:16:39,944 --> 00:16:41,447
and we have to do this.
410
00:16:41,573 --> 00:16:43,326
Do what?
411
00:16:43,409 --> 00:16:45,706
- We're going to '69.
- Beg your pardon?
412
00:16:45,789 --> 00:16:47,585
I said we're going to '69.
413
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:50,089
Uh, you and me are gonna 69 right now?
414
00:16:50,215 --> 00:16:52,803
- Yes, are you ready?
- Okay.
415
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,807
Only, what's his deal in all this?
416
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:56,603
Is he gonna watch or...
417
00:16:56,686 --> 00:16:58,565
No, I'm going to '69 with you too,
418
00:16:58,607 --> 00:17:00,318
make sure you don't fuck it up.
419
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,863
No, he's right, we can't
do this without him.
420
00:17:01,905 --> 00:17:03,032
What the fuck are you talking about?
421
00:17:03,157 --> 00:17:05,036
Going back in time to 1969
422
00:17:05,161 --> 00:17:06,998
to save the world.
423
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,544
Oh.
424
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:11,131
The year.
425
00:17:11,173 --> 00:17:13,302
(whirring)
426
00:17:13,386 --> 00:17:14,556
What's that supposed to be?
427
00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:16,433
It's a TTD, time travel device.
428
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,187
That's a stupid name,
it looks like a fucking iPad.
429
00:17:18,312 --> 00:17:19,941
Don't fucking touch it!
430
00:17:19,983 --> 00:17:22,905
Do you know how many soldiers
we lost stealing this?
431
00:17:22,989 --> 00:17:23,989
Good men!
432
00:17:24,032 --> 00:17:25,619
Better fucking men than you.
433
00:17:25,661 --> 00:17:26,638
Wolf!
434
00:17:26,663 --> 00:17:28,917
- Stop it, we need him.
- Do we?
435
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:31,548
Are we really gonna waste
a leap on this fucking guy?
436
00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:33,426
We don't know how many we have.
437
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,390
Okay, so it's Last Starfighter
meets Quantum Leap now?
438
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:37,560
Look, I'll give it
to you guys, all right?
439
00:17:37,685 --> 00:17:38,770
You're terrific actors,
440
00:17:38,812 --> 00:17:41,317
and your costumes are impeccable,
441
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,945
but I'm not buying it, okay?
442
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,199
You just obviously researched
my love of video games
443
00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,203
and science fiction,
and are using it against me
444
00:17:47,287 --> 00:17:49,542
to trick me in a really,
really mean way.
445
00:17:49,584 --> 00:17:50,711
You're breaking and entering right now.
446
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,088
You can't even be...
447
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,343
(whirring)
448
00:17:54,468 --> 00:17:55,470
What's happening?
449
00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:57,975
I have risked way too much to get here.
450
00:17:58,059 --> 00:17:59,729
We are not leaving without you.
451
00:17:59,854 --> 00:18:01,106
What's going on?
452
00:18:01,231 --> 00:18:03,904
(thunder and lightning)
453
00:18:03,945 --> 00:18:05,406
Oh, my God!
454
00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,452
Oh, oh shit.
455
00:18:07,578 --> 00:18:08,705
Oh, shit!
456
00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:16,428
♪
457
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,973
Where's all my shit?
458
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:19,101
Your shit's not here.
459
00:18:19,226 --> 00:18:20,729
We're not in your room anymore.
460
00:18:20,813 --> 00:18:24,987
♪
461
00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:27,200
(muffled television noise)
462
00:18:27,242 --> 00:18:34,131
♪
463
00:18:34,256 --> 00:18:36,761
Altitude velocity lights.
464
00:18:36,845 --> 00:18:40,519
Three and a half down, 220 feet.
465
00:18:40,602 --> 00:18:44,067
Thirteen forward.
466
00:18:44,109 --> 00:18:47,240
What the heck?
467
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,365
Daddy?
468
00:18:52,626 --> 00:18:54,129
Who are you?
469
00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:56,341
Five and a half down.
470
00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:58,137
Nine forward.
471
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,517
I'm your...
472
00:19:00,642 --> 00:19:02,646
Do your goddamn drugs somewhere else,
473
00:19:02,772 --> 00:19:04,650
fucking hippie.
474
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,738
♪ You know the day destroys the night ♪
475
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:07,990
- Mom!
- Calm down!
476
00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:09,284
Mom!
477
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:11,539
Here we go, time to see his moves.
478
00:19:11,623 --> 00:19:13,752
(lamp crashes)
479
00:19:13,794 --> 00:19:14,879
Help!
480
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,923
♪
481
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,008
Get him, Dad!
482
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:19,179
- Get out of my house!
- It's my house too.
483
00:19:19,304 --> 00:19:20,557
(glass breaks)
484
00:19:20,582 --> 00:19:21,518
Future Man.
485
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:24,690
Do a threat assessment and fight back.
486
00:19:24,774 --> 00:19:25,859
No, no, no, no.
487
00:19:25,901 --> 00:19:28,657
Grandma, Grandma, it's me, Joshy.
488
00:19:28,782 --> 00:19:29,992
Get him, Mom!
489
00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:33,917
♪
490
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,127
Uncle Barry?
491
00:19:35,169 --> 00:19:37,048
(cocks gun)
492
00:19:37,173 --> 00:19:39,052
(grunting)
493
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,056
The plates!
494
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,645
All right, we tried it your away,
clearly it's not working.
495
00:19:43,687 --> 00:19:45,816
We don't know that yet.
496
00:19:45,941 --> 00:19:47,945
Ow, stop!
497
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,406
You want me to jump in now?
498
00:19:49,447 --> 00:19:50,576
Or would you rather watch your savior
499
00:19:50,701 --> 00:19:52,538
get beaten to death by his own family?
500
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,834
Ow, my ear!
501
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,463
♪ She gets high ♪
502
00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:59,092
♪ She gets high ♪
503
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:02,600
- Man, no, no, no!
- ♪ She gets high ♪
504
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:05,939
♪ She gets high ♪
505
00:20:05,981 --> 00:20:07,693
♪
506
00:20:07,818 --> 00:20:09,906
(dog barking)
507
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:13,037
♪ I found an island in your arms ♪
508
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,584
♪ Country in your eyes ♪
509
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:18,422
♪ Arms that chained us, eyes that lied ♪
510
00:20:18,464 --> 00:20:21,094
♪ Break on through to the other side ♪
511
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,725
♪ Break on through to the other side ♪
512
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:25,227
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
513
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,480
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
514
00:20:26,564 --> 00:20:29,444
What the fuck are you doing, moron?
515
00:20:29,486 --> 00:20:30,739
Move it!
516
00:20:30,864 --> 00:20:32,116
♪
517
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,622
♪ Made the scene, week to week ♪
518
00:20:34,747 --> 00:20:37,460
♪ Day to day, hour to hour ♪
519
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,341
♪ The gate is straight, deep and wide ♪
520
00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:43,097
♪ Break on through to the other side ♪
521
00:20:43,138 --> 00:20:45,769
♪ Break on through to the other side ♪
522
00:20:45,852 --> 00:20:48,482
♪ Break on through, break on through ♪
523
00:20:48,525 --> 00:20:51,113
♪ Break on through, break on through ♪
524
00:20:51,196 --> 00:20:55,706
- ♪ Break, break ♪
- I traveled... in time.
525
00:20:55,747 --> 00:20:58,712
- (laughing)
- (exclaiming)
526
00:20:58,753 --> 00:20:59,880
This is real.
527
00:20:59,964 --> 00:21:01,258
This is real... you're... you're Tiger
528
00:21:01,383 --> 00:21:04,097
and you're Wolf,
and you're time travelers.
529
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,351
Oh my God, oh my God,
tell me everything.
530
00:21:06,393 --> 00:21:08,773
Can I see a dinosaur?
Can I please see a dinosaur?
531
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:10,026
What the fuck happened in there?
532
00:21:10,151 --> 00:21:12,614
- Why can't you fight?
- Why can't I fight?
533
00:21:12,656 --> 00:21:14,117
I've never been in one before.
534
00:21:14,159 --> 00:21:15,912
- You're a warrior.
- No, I'm not.
535
00:21:15,996 --> 00:21:17,916
- But you're Future Man.
- In the video game.
536
00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:19,169
Aren't people who play
video games supposed
537
00:21:19,252 --> 00:21:21,549
to embody the skills
of their online personas?
538
00:21:21,674 --> 00:21:23,177
No, no, it's the complete opposite.
539
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:24,638
Why would anybody play video games
540
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,058
if you could just do a
bunch of really cool shit
541
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,936
in real life?
542
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,690
I don't... I don't understand.
543
00:21:29,815 --> 00:21:31,736
In our time, video games
are training simulators
544
00:21:31,778 --> 00:21:34,909
that hone the skills of elite soldiers.
545
00:21:34,992 --> 00:21:36,913
Oh, no, yeah, not in our time.
546
00:21:37,038 --> 00:21:39,794
No, it's like purely
escapism, recreation.
547
00:21:39,919 --> 00:21:43,927
Do you have any useful skills?
548
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:46,641
Uh, I'm good at word jumbles,
549
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,812
um, Sudoku.
550
00:21:48,937 --> 00:21:50,064
Cumming on my leg.
551
00:21:50,189 --> 00:21:52,318
Okay, Wolf, I wasn't trying
to cum on your leg, okay?
552
00:21:52,443 --> 00:21:53,822
If this is gonna become
one of those things
553
00:21:53,947 --> 00:21:55,627
where like you can't
forgive me and move on
554
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:58,080
until we're even, then just go ahead,
555
00:21:58,205 --> 00:21:59,708
cum on my leg.
556
00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:02,338
Hey, guys, check it out!
557
00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:04,969
Oh shit, we need to change our clothes.
558
00:22:05,052 --> 00:22:05,971
Why?
559
00:22:06,054 --> 00:22:07,734
It's time travel 101,
you need to blend in.
560
00:22:07,850 --> 00:22:09,227
Don't look like you're from the future.
561
00:22:09,310 --> 00:22:11,356
Look at this, look at this shit...
562
00:22:11,481 --> 00:22:12,943
Don't touch my gobulator.
563
00:22:13,026 --> 00:22:14,822
Hey, what the fuck are you guys wearing?
564
00:22:14,947 --> 00:22:16,449
See, what did I tell you?
565
00:22:16,576 --> 00:22:18,580
You, give me your clothes.
566
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,584
Oh... no, don't, don't, don't.
567
00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:22,211
Don't, they are bikers
568
00:22:22,336 --> 00:22:25,050
and bikers are assholes.
569
00:22:25,092 --> 00:22:28,348
Well, how about instead of
us taking off our clothes,
570
00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:29,935
you take off yours,
571
00:22:29,977 --> 00:22:33,233
and then maybe give us a little dance.
572
00:22:33,358 --> 00:22:34,570
♪
573
00:22:34,612 --> 00:22:35,864
(screaming)
574
00:22:35,989 --> 00:22:37,743
Fuck this place up!
575
00:22:37,826 --> 00:22:39,496
Murder everyone!
576
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:42,084
(exclaiming)
577
00:22:42,126 --> 00:22:45,634
♪ Stepped in my dreams
and broke my own heart ♪
578
00:22:45,717 --> 00:22:47,011
Let's go.
579
00:22:47,094 --> 00:22:48,347
♪
580
00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:50,392
Yeah, crush his nuts.
581
00:22:50,476 --> 00:22:52,898
Break their skulls!
582
00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:54,178
Fuck.
583
00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:55,169
(grunting)
584
00:22:55,194 --> 00:22:56,599
Shit.
585
00:22:56,658 --> 00:22:58,868
♪
586
00:22:58,952 --> 00:23:00,454
(grunting)
587
00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:03,001
(screaming)
588
00:23:03,085 --> 00:23:07,343
♪
589
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:08,387
Head shot.
590
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,099
Oh, shit, is he okay?
591
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:17,280
♪
592
00:23:17,405 --> 00:23:19,868
- Head shot!
- Head shot!
593
00:23:19,910 --> 00:23:21,121
Leg shot!
594
00:23:21,162 --> 00:23:23,751
♪
595
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:26,047
And neutralized.
596
00:23:26,131 --> 00:23:28,553
Time to grab a skull trophy.
597
00:23:28,678 --> 00:23:30,682
No-no-no, no-no-no, stop.
598
00:23:30,807 --> 00:23:31,934
What are you doing?
599
00:23:32,059 --> 00:23:33,813
Stopping you from killing him.
600
00:23:33,896 --> 00:23:35,900
- Why?
- Do I really have to say this?
601
00:23:35,942 --> 00:23:37,028
Killing is wrong.
602
00:23:37,153 --> 00:23:39,115
Oh, I can't work with this guy.
603
00:23:39,157 --> 00:23:40,284
Can we just take their clothes
604
00:23:40,367 --> 00:23:41,787
and leave, please?
605
00:23:41,871 --> 00:23:44,793
You never had a problem with
killing in our simulator.
606
00:23:44,877 --> 00:23:47,173
Oh, my God, that guy's
bone is sticking out.
607
00:23:47,256 --> 00:23:50,429
♪
608
00:23:50,555 --> 00:23:53,018
(motorcycle growls)
609
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:55,064
♪
610
00:23:55,189 --> 00:23:56,567
I mean, I think it goes without saying,
611
00:23:56,692 --> 00:23:58,946
but I don't know how
to ride one of these.
612
00:23:59,030 --> 00:24:00,449
Just get on.
613
00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,328
- On your...
- Mine.
614
00:24:02,411 --> 00:24:03,455
Yeah, okay.
615
00:24:03,581 --> 00:24:11,931
♪
616
00:24:15,104 --> 00:24:17,233
(chatter)
617
00:24:19,696 --> 00:24:22,159
Never seen so much food in my life.
618
00:24:22,201 --> 00:24:24,080
It's literally hanging from the walls.
619
00:24:24,205 --> 00:24:26,585
I take it you don't
have delis in the future?
620
00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:28,463
No, we live in a sewer.
621
00:24:28,589 --> 00:24:30,342
We eat garbage and rats.
622
00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:32,973
- Ew.
- Yeah, no fucking shit.
623
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:36,479
Eat a rat asshole,
then say fucking "ew."
624
00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:39,736
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
625
00:24:39,862 --> 00:24:42,366
Okay.
626
00:24:42,450 --> 00:24:43,995
(sniffs)
627
00:24:50,007 --> 00:24:51,510
Holy shit.
628
00:24:52,888 --> 00:24:54,015
Holy shit.
629
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:55,518
Here's some water for you.
630
00:24:55,643 --> 00:24:58,023
Oh, these little green logs
are fucking amazing.
631
00:24:58,148 --> 00:24:59,150
They're called pickles.
632
00:24:59,233 --> 00:25:00,862
- Calm down.
- More logs!
633
00:25:00,945 --> 00:25:02,866
Okay, okay, look, I know
you're from the sewers
634
00:25:02,991 --> 00:25:04,076
and everything, but you need to do
635
00:25:04,118 --> 00:25:05,622
a better job about
acting normal here, okay?
636
00:25:05,705 --> 00:25:07,249
What the fuck does it matter?
637
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,503
They're all fucking dead anyway.
638
00:25:08,628 --> 00:25:11,509
You're all fucking
dead, you're all dead!
639
00:25:11,592 --> 00:25:14,222
Just shoving food into
your dead fucking mouths!
640
00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:15,600
- No, no, no.
- So hope you have
641
00:25:15,642 --> 00:25:16,727
a great last meal.
642
00:25:16,769 --> 00:25:18,396
- No, no, no, she's...
- Grandma, you're dead.
643
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,735
- You little girl, dead!
- No, no, no, you're not dead.
644
00:25:20,777 --> 00:25:22,781
- You're fucking dead.
- You're okay, you're okay.
645
00:25:22,864 --> 00:25:25,035
- Your kids are dead!
- Your kids are fine, everybody's fine.
646
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,789
- Your babies are dead.
- She's having a bad trip.
647
00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:29,126
It's the, you know, '60s, it's...
648
00:25:29,168 --> 00:25:31,799
Okay, even if that is true,
you can't yell it at people
649
00:25:31,882 --> 00:25:33,051
when they're eating
their matzo ball soup.
650
00:25:33,176 --> 00:25:34,178
I know that you're upset.
651
00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:36,057
You don't know what I am
652
00:25:36,182 --> 00:25:37,309
or what I've been through
653
00:25:37,434 --> 00:25:38,813
or the people that
sacrificed their lives
654
00:25:38,896 --> 00:25:40,775
to get me here because I thought you
655
00:25:40,817 --> 00:25:42,403
were the savior.
656
00:25:45,158 --> 00:25:47,037
I lost everyone to get here.
657
00:25:47,121 --> 00:25:48,164
And what?
658
00:25:48,248 --> 00:25:51,922
So you could fucking
enlighten me about pickles?
659
00:25:52,006 --> 00:25:53,551
Hey!
660
00:25:53,676 --> 00:25:56,431
Come on, now, those are fucking good.
661
00:25:56,557 --> 00:25:58,018
You've nothing to offer.
662
00:25:58,059 --> 00:25:59,579
You are nothing like the man I thought
663
00:25:59,646 --> 00:26:01,567
I was coming back for.
664
00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:03,194
Nothing.
665
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,407
Wolf, fire up the TTD,
we're sending him back.
666
00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:08,079
No, no, no, no, please,
don't send me back!
667
00:26:08,204 --> 00:26:10,167
I just got here, I've
wanted this my entire life.
668
00:26:10,208 --> 00:26:13,089
Look, I can probably still
help out with the mission.
669
00:26:13,173 --> 00:26:14,425
No, you can't because we don't even know
670
00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:15,595
where the fuck to start.
671
00:26:15,678 --> 00:26:17,348
But if you're from the future,
672
00:26:17,431 --> 00:26:18,851
shouldn't you just know everything?
673
00:26:18,976 --> 00:26:20,228
No.
674
00:26:20,312 --> 00:26:22,901
The Biotics control everything.
675
00:26:22,942 --> 00:26:27,409
All we know is that tonight,
on July 20th, 1969,
676
00:26:27,451 --> 00:26:29,539
something happens that
leads to the annihilation
677
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:32,587
of the entire human race
and we were hoping
678
00:26:32,671 --> 00:26:34,716
that you'd be the key
to stopping Elias Kronish,
679
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,052
but that is just...
680
00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:37,555
that's not gonna happen.
681
00:26:37,597 --> 00:26:39,685
Fuck, it's over.
682
00:26:39,726 --> 00:26:43,108
Do you mean Dr. Elias Kronish?
683
00:26:43,191 --> 00:26:45,112
How do you know that
motherfucker's name?
684
00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:46,824
I work with him.
685
00:26:46,865 --> 00:26:47,992
He's actually not a motherfucker.
686
00:26:48,076 --> 00:26:49,245
He's like this really sweet old man,
687
00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:51,124
and we're kind of,
like, becoming friends.
688
00:26:51,249 --> 00:26:53,128
That sweet old man's research
689
00:26:53,253 --> 00:26:55,883
leads to a super cure for all diseases.
690
00:26:55,967 --> 00:26:58,138
The people injected with the cure,
691
00:26:58,221 --> 00:26:59,641
those are the Biotics.
692
00:26:59,766 --> 00:27:02,354
No, he's working on a cure for herpes.
693
00:27:02,396 --> 00:27:03,607
You're telling me that a cure for herpes
694
00:27:03,649 --> 00:27:05,611
is what brings down all of mankind?
695
00:27:05,737 --> 00:27:07,949
♪
696
00:27:07,991 --> 00:27:10,328
I am moving around, getting familiar,
697
00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:12,500
getting familiar.
698
00:27:12,584 --> 00:27:15,631
Holy shit.
699
00:27:15,757 --> 00:27:17,886
The moon landing party at Caltech.
700
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:20,641
♪
701
00:27:20,725 --> 00:27:23,021
That's where Dr. Kronish
first gets herpes,
702
00:27:23,146 --> 00:27:24,482
that's the whole reason
he became a scientist,
703
00:27:24,524 --> 00:27:26,027
and that happens tonight.
704
00:27:26,110 --> 00:27:27,864
Go, go, go on.
705
00:27:27,906 --> 00:27:29,366
Okay.
706
00:27:29,408 --> 00:27:30,661
Okay, I got it, I got it.
707
00:27:30,745 --> 00:27:32,540
If we can get to Caltech
708
00:27:32,665 --> 00:27:34,503
and stop Dr. Kronish
from ever getting herpes,
709
00:27:34,544 --> 00:27:35,797
he'll never become a scientist,
710
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,554
and we can stop this whole
cycle before it even begins.
711
00:27:39,638 --> 00:27:43,269
Maybe you are the savior after all.
712
00:27:43,311 --> 00:27:44,396
Oh, come on.
713
00:27:44,438 --> 00:27:45,900
I call fucking bullshit on that.
714
00:27:45,942 --> 00:27:47,027
No, how can it be a coincidence
715
00:27:47,110 --> 00:27:49,991
that the only person
who beats Biotic Wars
716
00:27:50,033 --> 00:27:51,912
just happens to be friends with the man
717
00:27:51,995 --> 00:27:52,997
who destroys the human race?
718
00:27:53,039 --> 00:27:55,001
I don't think that's a coincidence.
719
00:27:55,043 --> 00:27:56,045
You heard her, Wolf.
720
00:27:56,128 --> 00:27:58,132
Can't be a coincidence. It's destiny.
721
00:27:58,174 --> 00:27:59,426
Just like Super Mario Bros.
722
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:00,930
All right, are you ready?
723
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:02,057
Let's do this shit.
724
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,184
'Cause this isn't a game anymore.
725
00:28:03,309 --> 00:28:04,688
- Nope.
- Things are about to get real.
726
00:28:04,813 --> 00:28:06,440
- Yep.
- This is life or death.
727
00:28:06,567 --> 00:28:09,029
It's either kill or be killed.
728
00:28:09,071 --> 00:28:10,407
I'm gonna have to kill?
729
00:28:10,448 --> 00:28:11,702
Or be killed.
730
00:28:11,785 --> 00:28:16,335
♪
731
00:28:16,460 --> 00:28:17,462
Oh, no.
732
00:28:17,547 --> 00:28:19,801
Is that an X28 Psychoblaster?
733
00:28:19,843 --> 00:28:21,470
Holy shit.
734
00:28:21,597 --> 00:28:23,684
(laser blast)
735
00:28:23,726 --> 00:28:25,563
- Oh, fuck!
- What the fuck are you doing?
736
00:28:25,605 --> 00:28:27,232
We gotta get out of here.
737
00:28:27,357 --> 00:28:28,694
♪
738
00:28:28,819 --> 00:28:30,698
- Okay, okay, okay.
- (laser blast)
739
00:28:30,823 --> 00:28:33,161
Everybody get down! Heads on tables.
740
00:28:33,202 --> 00:28:35,040
We are from your time!
741
00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:36,292
♪
742
00:28:36,334 --> 00:28:38,338
Oh my God, shit got real in there.
743
00:28:38,421 --> 00:28:39,716
♪
744
00:28:39,841 --> 00:28:40,927
Uh, guys, the cops.
745
00:28:40,968 --> 00:28:42,972
Cops, cops, cops.
746
00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:44,376
Our first call, we've wanted this
747
00:28:44,475 --> 00:28:45,603
since we were kids.
748
00:28:45,686 --> 00:28:47,105
All right, Santiago, you ready for this?
749
00:28:47,189 --> 00:28:48,567
Let's do this, Skaarsgard.
750
00:28:48,609 --> 00:28:49,861
They're gonna arrest us.
751
00:28:49,986 --> 00:28:52,199
(siren blares)
752
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,494
Wh... what are you doing?
753
00:28:53,577 --> 00:28:55,623
What are you doing?
754
00:28:55,706 --> 00:28:57,502
Is that a subatomic sensor mine?
755
00:28:57,627 --> 00:29:00,508
♪
756
00:29:00,591 --> 00:29:02,010
(explosion)
757
00:29:02,094 --> 00:29:04,516
Oh, fuck!
758
00:29:04,641 --> 00:29:06,520
What the hell?
759
00:29:09,274 --> 00:29:10,736
(engine revs)
760
00:29:10,861 --> 00:29:12,489
Welcome to the Resistance.
761
00:29:12,573 --> 00:29:17,573
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
762
00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:29,148
♪ While you keep on dreaming, you kids ♪
763
00:29:29,231 --> 00:29:32,362
♪ You must go on your way ♪
764
00:29:32,404 --> 00:29:38,416
♪ You get tired, but you
get started every day ♪
765
00:29:38,542 --> 00:29:41,047
♪ Pick up and go ♪
766
00:29:41,172 --> 00:29:43,510
♪ Or you can fall on your face ♪
767
00:29:43,552 --> 00:29:46,015
♪
768
00:29:46,057 --> 00:29:52,653
♪ Go as long as to go you can ♪
769
00:29:52,737 --> 00:29:58,414
♪ Live as long as to live you can ♪
770
00:29:58,499 --> 00:29:59,499
♪
771
00:30:06,315 --> 00:30:11,115
♪
52288
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