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1
00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:03,174
Life without a tree. How cool is that?
2
00:00:03,174 --> 00:00:03,612
Yes.
3
00:00:03,833 --> 00:00:08,141
Yes, okay. Thank you. I'll think about it. Yes. Goodbye.
4
00:00:09,979 --> 00:00:10,839
Come on, give us a hand!
5
00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:12,618
By tonight this will be a Christmas free zone.
6
00:00:14,587 --> 00:00:16,046
I got an offer for a show.
7
00:00:16,989 --> 00:00:20,425
What? We're lugging trees, and my baby builds her career, huh?
8
00:00:20,786 --> 00:00:21,157
Come here.
9
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:22,528
What's it about?
10
00:00:23,049 --> 00:00:23,978
Celebrities On The Ice.
11
00:00:24,617 --> 00:00:25,009
Oh no.
12
00:00:25,563 --> 00:00:26,370
Celebrities On The Ice!
13
00:00:28,282 --> 00:00:29,610
What's with this fucking broom again?
14
00:00:30,184 --> 00:00:32,213
Yeah, they are sending celebrities to Greenland,
15
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,695
and then they have to live there like Eskimos.
16
00:00:35,298 --> 00:00:36,003
Sounds like fun.
17
00:00:36,922 --> 00:00:37,874
It's sounds trashy.
18
00:00:40,851 --> 00:00:43,789
I mean, it couldn't possibly be more embarrassing than Kurt & Jasmin Backstage.
19
00:00:43,789 --> 00:00:46,491
Honey, if you don't want to do it, I understand.
20
00:00:46,491 --> 00:00:48,916
No stress. I have enough money for both of us.
21
00:00:49,845 --> 00:00:51,652
Really. But now I have to get to the studio.
22
00:00:52,397 --> 00:00:53,629
The studio's waiting!
23
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,917
Ok, ladies. See you later, ok?
24
00:00:57,917 --> 00:00:58,557
Anni/ Ciao.
25
00:00:59,088 --> 00:00:59,451
Bye!
26
00:01:04,912 --> 00:01:06,388
Please don't say you're actually considering it.
27
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,250
It's a job.
28
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:13,817
Take a look at the chicks who appear on these kinds of shows.
29
00:01:13,817 --> 00:01:17,327
They hold their plastic tits into the camera,
30
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,524
alk nothing but shit, and afterwards they sink into obscurity.
31
00:01:19,728 --> 00:01:21,055
Well, I don't have to be like them, right?
32
00:01:21,632 --> 00:01:21,942
Ouch!
33
00:01:22,696 --> 00:01:23,082
Are you ok?
34
00:01:23,737 --> 00:01:25,019
Yes.
35
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:29,227
Hey, it's a job, and I get a good fee.
36
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And it's better than sitting on this couch.
37
00:01:31,941 --> 00:01:33,737
Yes, but at least here you're not making a fool of yourself.
38
00:01:34,904 --> 00:01:36,017
Or only a little bit.
39
00:01:37,911 --> 00:01:42,120
Don't you get that I want to be more than Kurt LeRoy's unsuccessful wife?
40
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:48,847
No shit. It's my absolute favorite show! I've seen every episode.
41
00:01:48,857 --> 00:01:51,054
And you're gonna be on it next season? Awesome!
42
00:01:51,054 --> 00:01:53,893
No, no, they just asked me. I have to think about it.
43
00:01:53,893 --> 00:01:55,547
Huh? What's to think about?
44
00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:59,018
You make good money, you travel around half the globe, and you have fun!
45
00:01:59,514 --> 00:02:00,307
Who else is in it?
46
00:02:00,776 --> 00:02:01,073
No idea.
47
00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:10,701
The last season was so funny! There was this one girl, ok? A little stupid, with botoxed lips...whatever. Anyway, her remarks were hilarious!
48
00:02:11,387 --> 00:02:13,382
Um, we need to go over there actually.
49
00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:14,440
Right. Yes.
50
00:02:14,899 --> 00:02:17,036
I know it's complete trash, of course. But so what?
51
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:20,268
At least it's not boring! And it's still allowed to have fun, right?
52
00:02:20,268 --> 00:02:24,754
Yeah. With Kurt & Jasmin Backstage, people had a good laugh about how bitchy I am.
53
00:02:25,285 --> 00:02:26,155
Well, don't be a bitch, then.
54
00:02:26,785 --> 00:02:28,997
Sure, on TV they manipulate everything how they like,
55
00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:32,076
but they can't show what you don't do, right?
56
00:02:32,076 --> 00:02:34,196
And you have so much more to offer.
57
00:02:34,474 --> 00:02:36,922
I would definitely tune in to see you.
58
00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:41,324
I'll give it a try.
59
00:02:41,963 --> 00:02:45,656
Oh yes. If they'd ask me, I wouldn't hesitate for a second.
60
00:02:47,656 --> 00:02:49,964
Okay, make me look casting eligible then.
61
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:54,819
Hello. I'm Jasmin.
62
00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:57,117
Hi. Just a moment, please. Have a seat.
63
00:02:57,117 --> 00:02:58,081
Okay. Thank you.
64
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,184
I can't believe it. I know this voice, but how cool is this?
65
00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:04,075
Aren't you Jasmin LeRoy?
66
00:03:04,457 --> 00:03:04,802
Yes.
67
00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:07,034
No. I can't believe it!
68
00:03:07,629 --> 00:03:10,644
Whoa, I watched every episode of your show.
69
00:03:10,644 --> 00:03:14,037
How you were always telling Kurt off, and the stupid crew too.
70
00:03:14,037 --> 00:03:14,538
You really liked it?
71
00:03:13,996 --> 00:03:16,843
Yes, really. I love what you do. I'm speechless.
72
00:03:16,843 --> 00:03:19,512
I don't even know what to say right now.
73
00:03:19,512 --> 00:03:23,087
I expected anything but to see you here today. And now...
74
00:03:23,087 --> 00:03:27,301
How cool would that be? Us flying to Greenland together and making our own show there!
75
00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:30,666
It would be such a success. You can't imagine! Right?
76
00:03:31,383 --> 00:03:33,405
Give me the ghetto fist. You know what I'm saying.
77
00:03:34,054 --> 00:03:34,647
Ghetto fist.
78
00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:35,839
Don't be shy, baby.
79
00:03:37,028 --> 00:03:40,225
Sure Kurt! Why don't you flaunt your tits to the camera next time?
80
00:03:40,225 --> 00:03:42,367
I laughed my ass off. It was so awesome!
81
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,424
I don't get it. Why did they take it off the air?
82
00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:47,985
Well, I made them take it off the air.
83
00:03:47,985 --> 00:03:49,861
Come on. Why would you do that?
84
00:03:51,282 --> 00:03:53,703
Well, they wouldn't let me be anything but a bitch.
85
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:56,048
I mean it completely damaged my reputation.
86
00:03:56,048 --> 00:03:57,880
They wanted me to come across in a horrible way.
87
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,800
Yes. I've been there. Once they pigeonhole you...
88
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,127
Yes!
89
00:04:01,363 --> 00:04:04,499
Yes, but...screw it! Just think positive and move on.
90
00:04:04,905 --> 00:04:07,620
Running on a moving walkway, carrying eighty shopping bags?
91
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:11,644
But, hey. Seriously. It was totally awesome how you owned Kurt. Touch�.
92
00:04:12,279 --> 00:04:13,720
It's true. Really, sweetie.
93
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,350
Look, I have this fan, ok? This girl. she was having a crisis, and I helped her.
94
00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,417
Because I won't put up with crap either.
95
00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:26,204
And honestly. It doesn't get any better than to get such a positive feedback, right?
96
00:04:26,204 --> 00:04:31,360
Yes, but still. I hate coming off as a bitch. And then there are the narrator's ridiculous remarks to top it off.
97
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:37,304
Hey, but people love it. What would these shows be without us? Seriously.
98
00:04:37,304 --> 00:04:39,213
They'd be boring and prim. Nobody would want to watch that.
99
00:04:39,631 --> 00:04:47,724
And between you and me. As long as the money's good, and the job's fun, the rest doesn't matter, right? Proud bitch. What's up?
100
00:04:49,362 --> 00:04:49,861
Sarah Knappig.
101
00:04:51,002 --> 00:04:51,858
Hello!
102
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,325
Would you come with me?
103
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,135
Hello. Yes. Hang on. Hello.
104
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:54,086
Sebastian Heuser.
105
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:54,782
Good to meet you. Hello.
106
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:55,437
Hello.
107
00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:56,575
Hello. Jasmin LeRoy.
108
00:04:56,575 --> 00:04:57,328
H�user: Hello, Jasmin.
109
00:04:58,187 --> 00:05:02,179
Yeah, well, if my bum's a little flat, it's from sitting and waiting for such a long time.
110
00:05:02,179 --> 00:05:04,129
By the way, the coffee wasn't very good either.
111
00:05:04,691 --> 00:05:06,410
But maybe we could go out for a drink sometime.
112
00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:06,954
I'd love to.
113
00:05:10,242 --> 00:05:11,543
Of course I'm up for this show.
114
00:05:12,009 --> 00:05:15,472
It would be a big challenge. And a lot of fun too, of course.
115
00:05:15,888 --> 00:05:20,477
I've watched the previous season, and I'd be honored to be a part of it.
116
00:05:20,932 --> 00:05:23,307
H�user: It would be more of a group thing, as opposed to Kurt & Jasmin Backstage.
117
00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:27,957
Yes. And that's what's so cool about it. Because I want to get away from the bitch image.
118
00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:31,779
Ok? But that's the part we intended for you.
119
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:36,171
Yes, I know. I came across that way. But the show really gave a wrong impression.
120
00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,563
I'm actually not like that at all.
121
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:41,209
We're looking for a bitch for the group.
122
00:05:41,209 --> 00:05:44,087
And since you've pulled it off really well so far, we were really interested you.
123
00:05:44,737 --> 00:05:49,428
But if you're not comfortable with it. Hey, it's no problem.
124
00:05:50,491 --> 00:05:57,470
Of course I can be bitchy too. I just need the right motivation.
125
00:05:57,470 --> 00:06:01,317
Yes, we can do that. Sit in the car. Just take a seat.
126
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:02,272
Why?
127
00:06:03,892 --> 00:06:06,922
Just imagine it was an igloo.
128
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:08,637
Okay.
129
00:06:09,698 --> 00:06:13,271
You had a bad night. Because you're freezing, and you're hungry.
130
00:06:13,271 --> 00:06:15,704
And also, one of the ladies pisses you off.
131
00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,088
Ok, and why does she piss me off?
132
00:06:18,404 --> 00:06:21,161
She can't manage to kill a fish, and you're hungry.
133
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:27,168
So, you get up after this awful night and run straight into her.
134
00:06:29,229 --> 00:06:29,555
Action.
135
00:06:30,552 --> 00:06:30,936
Hunger.
136
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,462
Man, what about breakfast, huh?
137
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:41,882
I hate fish! How about some muffins for a change?
138
00:06:41,882 --> 00:06:46,886
Or at least turn it into fish sticks. And hurry up, or I'm really gonna get cranky, ok?
139
00:06:47,229 --> 00:06:48,102
Lame duck.
140
00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:49,366
Thank you.
141
00:06:50,338 --> 00:06:50,587
Ok.
142
00:07:00,792 --> 00:07:02,350
Trust me. It's gonna be so much fun!
143
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:09,495
But I'm telling you straight up. We're definitely gonna put it in our contract, that the temperature in the sleeping bag must never go below 40� C
144
00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:12,314
You do realize that's fever, right?
145
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:18,398
Ok, then. Let's say 30� C. But really. I don't want to freeze my ass of in that igloo.
146
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:21,302
Let's just make them give us some sealskin, and we'll be fine.
147
00:07:21,783 --> 00:07:23,520
Excuse me? What did you just say? Sealskin?
148
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,045
You do know what they do to baby seals, right?
149
00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:27,903
How they're slaughtered, and...
150
00:07:28,211 --> 00:07:30,371
Okay. We just need a lot of extra clauses.
151
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:31,957
Yes. Definitely.
152
00:07:32,711 --> 00:07:36,056
But honestly. We're not bitches for nothing.
153
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,176
Yeah, you're right. It does have its benefits.
154
00:07:39,176 --> 00:07:41,618
So, you two. Thank you for coming.
155
00:07:41,843 --> 00:07:43,234
It was a lot of fun.
156
00:07:43,704 --> 00:07:44,661
Yes, for us too.
157
00:07:44,661 --> 00:07:46,180
Welcome to the show, Sarah.
158
00:07:46,698 --> 00:07:50,133
No. No. Oh my God! Fuck yeah! I'm so excited! Awesome. I'm so excited!
159
00:07:53,675 --> 00:07:54,124
And Jasmin...
160
00:07:54,422 --> 00:07:54,779
Yay!
161
00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:56,216
I'm sorry. You're not in.
162
00:07:58,556 --> 00:08:00,767
I thought you wanted both of us.
163
00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:03,188
One bitch per team is enough. Sarah was just better.
164
00:08:03,856 --> 00:08:05,314
Oh no, sweetie. Come here.
165
00:08:05,314 --> 00:08:08,589
Hang in there. But honestly. The world doesn't end, and you'll get your chance.
166
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,931
Like I said. Stay strong, and...
167
00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:11,610
It's fine.
168
00:08:11,829 --> 00:08:12,063
Yes?
169
00:08:12,265 --> 00:08:13,061
Uh-huh.
170
00:08:13,061 --> 00:08:13,952
Sarah, would you come with me?
13646
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