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1
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,177
[elevator dings]
2
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,263
[yawns]
3
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,811
What is this?
What happened here?
4
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,438
I don't know.
5
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,565
Oh, this does not look good.
6
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,025
Did anyone see what happened
7
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,985
around my desk area
this morning?
8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,486
Dwight, I really think
someone's probably
9
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,739
just playing a prank on you,
so just go right through it.
10
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,323
A prank, huh?
11
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,326
This is official
police line tape, okay?
12
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,494
It's not a prank.
13
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:37,495
Probably is.
14
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,580
Damn it, people!
15
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,331
Someone must've seen something!
16
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,084
(Dwight)
Oh, you people are useless.
17
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,377
Jesus.
18
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,004
[phone ringing]
19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,340
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.
20
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,508
Hold, please.
21
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,093
Dwight, it's the sheriff.
22
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,428
He said that
it's really important,
23
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,889
and it's regarding your desk.
I'll transfer.
24
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,682
Oh, no, no, don't--can--
[phone ringing]
25
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,517
I can't an--
[grunts]
26
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,853
[exhales nervously]
27
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,480
Just cut through it, man.
It's no big deal.
28
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,482
Shh!
[sighs]
29
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,525
Wow, man, he really wants
to get in touch with you.
30
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,735
Maybe it's a murder.
31
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,028
No, there's no blood.
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,529
Maybe poison?
Possibly.
33
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:12,864
My God!
34
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,699
[laughs nervously]
35
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,035
No, Jim, no!
God.
36
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,080
Sheriff,
this is Dwight Schrute.
37
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,374
Press the pound key.
38
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,668
What's your 20?
39
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:27,671
[upbeat music]
40
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:34,844
{\an8}♪ ♪
41
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,911
[tapping]
42
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:05,083
So, uh, have you found
a band yet for your wedding?
43
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,460
No.
'Cause I'm in a band.
44
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,254
We really rock.
45
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:10,588
Yeah.
I mean, it's inevitable.
46
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,549
I definitely overhear
some wedding preparation,
47
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,925
but I'm fine with it.
48
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,429
She hears me arranging
my social life,
49
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,472
and we both have to hear
Dwight order deer urine
50
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:20,640
over the Internet,
51
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,267
so it evens out.
52
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,394
So I got the Save The Date.
Yeah?
53
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:25,353
Yeah, pretty stationery.
54
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,938
Oh, thanks.
55
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,024
I didn't get mine yet.
56
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,068
Um...
57
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,530
There are a few people
I decided not to invite,
58
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:39,534
and that might make things
kind of awkward, but...
59
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,619
it's my wedding.
60
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,665
And I don't want anyone there
who has called me a hussy.
61
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,250
[slurping]
62
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,127
Okay, here we go.
One, two--
63
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,129
He sometimes wears glasses.
Write that down.
64
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,966
Also, that may not be
his real hair.
65
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,303
Yes, thanks.
66
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,513
Fantastic Sams.
Adult cut plus.
67
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:03,933
Comes with a shampoo
and blow-dry.
68
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,810
We're doing I.D. photos today.
69
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,771
Gotta represent.
70
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,647
Uh, on or off?
71
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,690
Off.
72
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,983
Okay.
73
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,694
Oh!
What is on your face?
74
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,946
Is that a disguise?
75
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,365
Excuse me.
76
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,368
Clown paint.
77
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,328
I'm the one who petitioned
the office park
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,913
to have these
I.D. badges taken.
79
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,998
Oh, so there were
no death threats?
80
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,960
Let me see your I.D.
81
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,297
I.D. badges are long overdue.
82
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,508
Security in this office park
is a joke.
83
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,261
Last year I came to work with
my spud gun in a duffel bag.
84
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,765
I sat at my desk all day with
a rifle that shoots potatoes
85
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,142
at 60 pounds per square inch.
86
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,937
Can you imagine
if I was deranged?
87
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,398
That's a nice tie.
88
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,819
Thank you.
That is...
89
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,320
Who makes that?
Um, I don't know.
90
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,072
Do you mind if I wear that
for the photo?
91
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,533
Uh, let's, um...
92
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,993
Let's keep our clothes.
93
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,746
(Oscar)
It's like child abuse!
94
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,874
I say if Jesus saw that,
he'd freak out!
95
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,669
He'd freak out, Toby,
I mean, on so many levels.
96
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,713
And I'm supposed to work there!
I'm supposed--
97
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,381
What's the dealio?
98
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,258
Just letting Oscar
vent a little.
99
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,551
We would use the break room,
100
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,011
but the photographer's
back there.
101
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:21,970
What's the problem?
102
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,221
Angela.
103
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,347
There's just
a little dispute
104
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,725
over a poster
in their workspace.
105
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,143
Since Christmas.
106
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,769
So what, you're having
a little spat?
107
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,895
I forget.
Are you guys dating?
108
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,564
No.
109
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,734
Michael, can I talk to you
for a second, please? Yes.
110
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,152
Here's how
I usually handle this.
111
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,695
All I do is listen.
112
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,947
These things just have a way
of working themselves out.
113
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,241
It's like if you
write someone a letter
114
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,576
when you're really angry.
115
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,411
They say to keep it in
your drawer for a couple days,
116
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,371
and then you just never
end up sending it.
117
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,250
You are the laziest person
I've ever met.
118
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,168
Huh.
119
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,419
Conflict is serious.
120
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,754
I have a packet on this
from corporate.
121
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,255
It can affect morale,
122
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,840
and I am
in the morale business,
123
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,008
not the paper business.
124
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,761
Although, we do primarily
sell paper.
125
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,054
So, you know what?
126
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,930
I am supposed to be doing
conflict resolution.
127
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,265
Okay, technically--
128
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,808
So just--what--
yeah, technically, but--
129
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,061
The HR has had
a little more success.
130
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,270
You know what, Toby?
131
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,855
What do you know about
conflict resolution?
132
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,941
Your answer to everything
is to get divorced, so--
133
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,318
Okay.
Okay, what?
134
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,278
That was a right decision
for me and my marriage.
135
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,781
Well, that's not gonna fly here
because in this office,
136
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,407
it is till death do us part,
137
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,284
assuming that we don't
get downsized.
138
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,204
Uh, Pam,
would you get Angela
139
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,664
and meet us in
the conference room, please?
140
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,584
I hate it when people
don't tell each other
141
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,252
why they're angry.
142
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,296
My dad was like that.
143
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,965
I would say,
"What's wrong, Dad?
144
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,592
"What's wrong, Dad?
145
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,718
"What's wrong, Dad?
146
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,804
"What's wrong, Dad?
What's wrong, Dad?
147
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,140
What's wrong, Dad?"
over and over and over.
148
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,103
And would just look at me
like I was an idiot.
149
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,523
A Mediator's Toolchest.
150
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,944
Okay, well,
before we get started,
151
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,320
you should know
that there are
152
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,490
five different styles
of conflict.
153
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:09,536
My Shaolin Temple style
defeats your Monkey style.
154
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,287
Can we go?
I have a lot of work to do.
155
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,539
No, this is important.
156
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,125
Okay, the first style is
"lose-lose."
157
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:18,670
What's the next one?
Just hold on, please.
158
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,089
Okay, if we do lose-lose,
159
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,009
neither of you
gets what you want.
160
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,343
Do you understand?
161
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,140
You would both lose.
162
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,516
Now, I need to ask you,
163
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:36,146
do you want to pursue
a lose-lose negotiation?
164
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,024
Can we just skip
to whatever number five is?
165
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,191
Win-win or whatever?
166
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,694
Win-win is number four,
167
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,572
and number five
is win-win-win.
168
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,365
The important difference
here is
169
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,659
with win-win-win,
we all win.
170
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:53,079
Me too, I win for having
successfully mediated
171
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,498
a conflict at work.
172
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,459
There is this old story
about two women
173
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,836
who each think they
are the mother of this baby,
174
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,171
and they can't decide.
175
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,007
So they bring the baby
to a wise man,
176
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,300
just like a manager
in those days.
177
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,094
And the wise man says,
"I will adopt this baby
178
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,056
and raise it as a Hindu."
179
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,933
See?
They didn't expect that.
180
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,186
And that fixed it.
181
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:20,648
Because I think
he was the dad, anyway.
182
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,361
Okay, so this is
the disputed poster.
183
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,488
Now, one at a time,
184
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,366
I want you
to express your feelings
185
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,660
using "I" emotion language
186
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:36,206
and no judging,
or "you" statements.
187
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,124
I got this poster
for Christmas,
188
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,126
and I feel I wanna
see it every day.
189
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,421
It makes me feel like the
babies are the true artists,
190
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,423
and God has a really cute
sense of humor.
191
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,883
Come on, seriously.
That?
192
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,677
I don't like looking at it.
193
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,721
It's creepy and in bad taste,
and it's just offensive to me.
194
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,974
It makes me think of the
horrible, frigid stage mothers
195
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,601
who forced the babies
into it.
196
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,978
It's kitsch.
It's the opposite of art.
197
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,147
It destroys art.
It destroys souls.
198
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,441
This is so much more offensive
to me than hard-core porno.
199
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,818
Okay, okay, okay!
Oh, my God.
200
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,444
Stop, stop, stop!
201
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,780
Let's see if we can't
just brainstorm
202
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,117
and find some creative
alternatives that are win-win.
203
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,160
Win.
Yes. Thank you, Pam.
204
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,831
How about Angela makes
the poster into a T-shirt,
205
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,000
which Oscar wears.
206
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,459
That way
he can never see it,
207
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,962
and whenever
she looks at Oscar,
208
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,505
she can see it.
209
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,132
Win-win-win.
210
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,425
No.
That's--no.
211
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,593
Okay, well, brainstorm.
Own the solution.
212
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,345
How about
I leave it up?
213
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,680
How about
she takes it down?
214
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,474
How about Angela
can keep it up
215
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,977
on Tuesdays
and Thursdays. Okay.
216
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,479
That is called a compromise,
217
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,857
and it is style three,
218
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:44,816
and it is not ideal.
219
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,317
Kevin, any ideas?
220
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,820
The window should open.
221
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,492
Okay, so to sum up,
win-win,
222
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,327
make the poster
into a T-shirt.
223
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,663
Win-lose,
take the poster down.
224
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,790
Compromise,
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
225
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,625
And the answer is...
226
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,046
make the poster
into a T-shirt.
227
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,422
Win-win.
Win.
228
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,631
Fine.
But--
229
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,051
It is done!
230
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,927
All, right, attention!
231
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,097
Everybody, may I have
your attention, please?
232
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,099
Whoo!
That felt good.
233
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:21,102
I was just able
to resolve a conflict
234
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,771
between Angela and Oscar
235
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,482
that has been festering
for months.
236
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:29,736
And it's something that Toby
never quite got a handle on.
237
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,322
So in the future, I want you
to bring your conflicts to me.
238
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,782
I am the Daddy.
239
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,242
Do not take your problems to
the stranger down the street.
240
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,702
Toby's not a stranger.
241
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,622
Well, stranger, weirdo, creep.
You know what I meant.
242
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,831
All right?
243
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,924
No, you're all good.
244
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,759
Great.
245
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,350
Hey, Angela.
I didn't have your zip code.
246
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,936
Oh, thanks.
247
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,855
It was hand-delivered,
248
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:09,234
but I did get
a Save The Date after all.
249
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,236
It's not my taste.
250
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,654
You solved it.
251
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,780
Yes.
252
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,950
Well, good.
We can throw that one out.
253
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,245
Are those
all the other complaints? Mm-hmm.
254
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,454
I would like to see those, please.
255
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,540
I--I can't do that.
256
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,751
You can't do that, huh?
Okay.
257
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,461
Now you and I have
a conflict.
258
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,755
I order you
to give me that file.
259
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,757
That--
260
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,467
Okay.
261
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,014
There!
No more conflict.
262
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,474
I had to use win-lose on that.
It was not pretty.
263
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,351
All right.
Is that it?
264
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,314
[sighs deeply]
265
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,317
It's all Dwight's.
266
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,069
Every Friday at 4:00,
267
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,946
I have a standing appointment
with Dwight
268
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,407
for him to file a grievance
against Jim.
269
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:58,533
I tell him
that I'm sending them
270
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,493
to a special file
in New York.
271
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:03,288
That box is the special file
in New York.
272
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,207
Oh, God.
All right.
273
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,460
Why do I have to do everything?
274
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,711
Are you sure?
275
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,547
Oh, he's sure.
Just shoot.
276
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,013
There are dozens
of old complaints in here.
277
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,223
Cold cases.
Like the show.
278
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,351
Gong-gong!
279
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,312
And Toby is a lazy detective
who has decided
280
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:32,067
that these armed robberies
and rapes and murder-suicides
281
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,777
are not important enough
to solve.
282
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,029
Well, you know what?
I have a problem with that.
283
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,239
And I'm going to open up
these cases
284
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:42,744
before Toby can kill or rape
another person.
285
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,333
This is from Kevin.
286
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,795
He says Stanley uses his
Miracle Whip without asking.
287
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,673
Meredith complains that
everyone talks too loud
288
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,882
in the morning,
289
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,842
and the lights
are too bright.
290
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,221
Creed--
[mumbles]
291
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,099
Creed is sick of looking
at the redhead all day
292
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,477
and wants a seat facing
the receptionist.
293
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,062
Nice.
294
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:13,149
You will notice that not one of
these complaints is against me.
295
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,818
Actually,
I have a separate folder
296
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,903
for complaints against Michael.
297
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:22,992
This is January through March
of this year.
298
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,790
How many of you
have at one time
299
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,376
gone to Toby to complain
about another employee?
300
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,255
And did you get
what you wanted,
301
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,758
or were you merely listened to,
you forget about your problem,
302
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,926
and you move on?
303
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:43,596
[all muttering]
That is outrageous!
304
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,348
I love this place,
305
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,267
and it pains me to see
306
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,604
all of the negativity
festering--
307
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,148
Okay.
308
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:57,444
Today we are going to get
everything out of these files
309
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,447
and into the open,
where it can be resolved.
310
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,033
You kept a file of every time
somebody complained?
311
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,118
Yeah, it's part of my job.
312
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,871
Reading it out loud to everyone
was Michael's idea.
313
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,081
Thank you.
Don't mind a little credit.
314
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,083
All right.
Who is going to go first?
315
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,878
Who wants to have
their conflict resolved?
316
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,922
Some people
find conflict scary.
317
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,050
I think it's entertaining.
318
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:23,595
All right, how about
the Phyllis-Angela dispute?
319
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,846
You already did me.
320
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,598
(Michael)
That's what she said.
321
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,724
The thing is, Angela,
322
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,852
you are in here
an awful lot.
323
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,812
You have complained
about everybody in the office,
324
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,106
except Dwight,
which is odd
325
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,942
because everyone else has
had run-ins with Dwight.
326
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,153
Toby, by the way,
what does "redacted" mean?
327
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,197
There is a file full
of complaints in here
328
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,323
marked "redacted."
329
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,783
Yeah, it just means
whoever complained
330
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,159
came to me later
and withdrew it,
331
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,702
so I took their name off.
332
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,162
Okay.
333
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,664
There were a bunch
of complaints about Dwight
334
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,209
that were put in the redacted
file about six months ago.
335
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,210
Wait!
336
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,503
If someone has
a problem with me,
337
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,963
why would they withdraw it
six months ago?
338
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,427
Um...
Let's move on.
339
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,679
I volunteer.
340
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,222
Did anyone have a problem
with me?
341
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,141
All right, Pamela.
Come on down!
342
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,685
(Michael)
Let's do it.
343
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:15,105
And... okay.
Just one complaint.
344
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,649
Actually,
it has been withdrawn.
345
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,067
So that is no help to us.
346
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,694
Next.
Wait, what did it say?
347
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,697
Uh, "Does she have to plan
her wedding on office time?
348
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,031
Shouldn't she do that
at home?"
349
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,493
(Michael)
Who else?
350
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,203
Why don't we just
warm up first?
351
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,788
Warm up emotionally,
all right?
352
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,207
(Pam)
I have this kind of big secret about Angela.
353
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,333
And I've been
really nice to her,
354
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,294
and I haven't told anyone, and...
355
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,754
What the hell?!
356
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,382
Here is a Kelly complaint.
357
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,634
"Ryan never returns
my calls."
358
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,886
Ah.
Join the club.
359
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,472
My voice mail's
real spotty... sometimes.
360
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,850
I didn't file a complaint.
I was just talking.
361
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,268
To your HR representative.
362
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,811
To my friend,
I thought.
363
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,312
I want that withdrawn.
364
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,981
(Toby)
Fine, I'll take your name off.
365
00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,482
So no one will know.
366
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,609
[paper crumples]
367
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:02,986
Making progress.
368
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,279
Yes.
Dwight tried to kiss me.
369
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,655
What?
And I didn't tell anyone
370
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,365
'cause I'm not really sure
how I feel about it.
371
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,076
That is not true.
Redact it, redact it!
372
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,578
Well, I'm not actually making
a formal complaint.
373
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,329
I just really think
we should talk about it.
374
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,581
Okay, question.
375
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,291
When a name is withdrawn,
does that also apply
376
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:19,294
to the permanent
misbehavior file in New York?
377
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:20,795
Sure.
378
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,381
(Michael)
Stanley.
379
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,799
Hey.
A lot of anger under there...
380
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,426
Thanks for ratting me out.
381
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,677
I didn't do it.
382
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,054
Although,
you do leave pink paper
383
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,889
in the copier sometimes,
which we're only supposed
384
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,349
to use for late notices.
385
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,142
But you didn't complain?
No.
386
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,560
I find that hard to believe,
387
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,354
considering you have problems
with every single person
388
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,482
in this entire office
except Bobblehead Joe.
389
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,986
Someone complained
that the men's room
390
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,988
is "whites only."
391
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,865
Stanley, you know
that's not true.
392
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,450
I didn't say that.
393
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:53,495
Then why is there a picture
of a white man on the door?
394
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,125
Okay, Phyllis.
395
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,419
You complained that Angela
is giving you dirty looks.
396
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,797
And you tried to get off
the party planning committee.
397
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,590
No, I never said
any such thing.
398
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,133
Angela and I are close.
399
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,885
And... also, Phyllis,
400
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,638
Stanley says that you
cry too much,
401
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:12,806
and that bugs him.
402
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,224
Stanley and I
are close, too.
403
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,142
We sit close.
(Michael) Okay.
404
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,728
Now, another Phyllis-Angela.
405
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:22,399
Wow, you guys
really have some problems.
406
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,650
Let's take this inside.
407
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,069
Come on.
408
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,495
Just take it.
409
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,254
No, wait.
410
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,550
Yeah.
411
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,429
I can't believe Angela.
412
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,847
I went against
my better judgment,
413
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,557
and I gave her
a Save The Date.
414
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,934
And now it turns out she
complained about me to Toby.
415
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,436
Well, it was redacted.
416
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,022
Look, if she wants an invite,
417
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,565
maybe she's just trying
to be friends.
418
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,442
Don't take her side.
419
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,028
[scoffs]
420
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,571
Well, what does Roy think
about everything?
421
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,905
I don't know.
422
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,198
I try not to bother him
about this kind of stuff.
423
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,367
You mean, like,
your thoughts and feelings?
424
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:15,368
Yeah.
425
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,661
Yeah.
426
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,913
That's because Phyllis keeps
parking in my spot.
427
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,707
There are no assigned spots.
428
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:21,958
Except mine.
429
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,752
Because we all decided
it was childish.
430
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:24,961
I didn't decide that.
431
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,838
I know, you keep saying
it's your space
432
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,048
even though
there's no assigned parking,
433
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,215
but I keep forgetting.
434
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,717
Yes, that's the problem.
435
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,969
I guess so.
436
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,513
Okay, well.
All settled, then.
437
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,018
(quietly)
I don't like you.
438
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:43,480
All settled.
439
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,441
Good.
440
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,612
Uh...
441
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,825
Hmm.
That's not bad.
442
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:56,910
Hey, do you do weddings?
443
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,244
Would you seriously
444
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,122
want your wedding photos
to look like that?
445
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,091
Not bad.
446
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,759
I gave her a higher clearance
than you.
447
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,302
What does level red mean?
448
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,513
I'd tell you,
but I'd have to kill you.
449
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:19,349
[laughs]
450
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,645
Okay, Ryan,
you told Toby
451
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:28,066
that Creed has a distinct
old man smell?
452
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,444
I know exactly
what he's talking about.
453
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,780
I sprout mung beans
on a damp paper towel
454
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:34,948
in my desk drawer.
455
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,366
Very nutritious.
456
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:37,951
But they smell like death.
457
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,244
All right, Kevin.
458
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,453
You are accused of making
459
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,789
sexually suggestive
remarks to Angela
460
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:44,791
that made her feel uncomfortable.
461
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,251
Solution.
462
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,877
Angela,
you are to make
463
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,504
sexually suggestive
remarks to Kevin
464
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,714
that will make him uncomfortable.
465
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,507
I accept your decision.
466
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,385
Hey, you know what,
Dwight?
467
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,762
Maybe we should get
our photo I.D. taken together.
468
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,139
That doesn't make
any sense.
469
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,682
Well, it saves time,
you know.
470
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,683
'Cause we could just meet
471
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:02,934
in the parking lot
every morning.
472
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,436
Walk in together. Perfect.
473
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,520
(photographer)
Smile.
474
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,313
No.
475
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,982
I never smile
if I can help it.
476
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:10,150
Showing one's teeth
477
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,985
is a submission signal
in primates.
478
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,112
When someone smiles at me,
all I see
479
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:17,365
is a chimpanzee
begging for its life.
480
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,494
This came out really well.
481
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,787
There you go.
482
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,044
This is humongous.
483
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,004
I am not a security threat. Oh.
484
00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:33,048
And my middle name is Kurt.
485
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,758
Not Fart.
486
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,302
What did I write?
487
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,223
I have another complaint
for Jim's permanent file.
488
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,976
Talk to Michael.
I gave him the box.
489
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,561
What box?
490
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,690
But I didn't report
your snoring-- Wednesdays, tearful.
491
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:54,027
Tuesdays--
Okay.
492
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:56,488
Ah--agh--dgh--
dah! Dwight.
493
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,240
No, no!
494
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,700
Four years of malfeasance unreported.
495
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,369
This cannot stand. Okay.
Calm down.
496
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,204
No, you calm down.
Whose side is Toby on?
497
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,205
Whose side are you on?!
498
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,748
Hey, hey!
Him or me?
499
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,124
Him or me?
500
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,209
I cannot work
with Jim anymore. Okay.
501
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,335
Either he goes,
or I go.
502
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,544
Dwight, stop--
You choose!
503
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:14,255
One of us is out of here
by the end of today.
504
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:19,969
[gulps]
Okay.
505
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,514
Wow!
506
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,766
I never thought Dwight
would go postal.
507
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,559
It's always the person
you least expect,
508
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,771
and I always thought
Dwight would go postal.
509
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,276
I am not bluffing!
510
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,528
Okay, yes.
Okay?
511
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,612
Do the right thing here, Michael.
512
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,447
I have served you loyally
for years.
513
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,991
I deserve this,
you know I do!
514
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:44,035
[snorts]
515
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,287
You know your I.D. says
you're a security threat?
516
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,665
You have till 5:00.
517
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,460
[clears throat]
518
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,004
Come on, Dwight,
I think it's actually healthy
519
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:55,130
to get it off your chest.
520
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,548
I'm done talking.
521
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,467
I'm a Schrute.
We don't back down.
522
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:03,179
You're arrogant and pompous,
523
00:21:03,221 --> 00:21:04,764
and I don't like you.
524
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,436
Some people are just not good
at office politics.
525
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,937
Maybe they're
a little inflexible.
526
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,814
Maybe they like toys
or laugh too loud,
527
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,483
or think babies with saxophones
are cute.
528
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,360
Is this a reason
to come after them
529
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,029
with pitchforks and torches?
530
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,905
[sighs angrily]
531
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,991
Oh, look, Jim.
532
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:26,911
There's a sales manager
position open in Stamford.
533
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,748
Want me to call Jan
and tell her you're interested?
534
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,583
I could put in
a good word for you.
535
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,877
'Cause I'll still
be working here.
536
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,671
Transfer, transfer--
Everybody.
537
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,299
Transfer, transfer,
transfer!
538
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,259
Okay, you two,
539
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,969
in the conference room,
with me.
540
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:46,348
Nobody leaves until
we work this out.
541
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,808
Cage match.
542
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,518
Cage matches?
Yeah, they work.
543
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,020
How could they not work?
544
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,146
If they didn't work,
545
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:55,190
everybody would still
be in the cage.
546
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,567
I don't--I don't know
if it was in the packet
547
00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:00,570
from corporate because
I barely read any of it.
548
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,197
So if you're asking
if I stole their idea,
549
00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,741
the answer is no.
550
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,369
So Toby made up a special form
just for you,
551
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:10,372
the serious misbehavior report.
552
00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,082
"Note, this information will go
553
00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:14,501
"into the employee's permanent
file at corporate headquarters.
554
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,836
"Each infraction will result
in severe
555
00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:20,215
and escalating penalties
of the severest nature."
556
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:22,550
Not the time, Jim. Please.
557
00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:24,219
Okay, so, Dwight,
in your own words.
558
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:27,389
"Someone replaced all my pens
and pencils with crayons.
559
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,766
I suspect Jim Halpert."
560
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:32,560
"Everyone has
called me Dwayne all day.
561
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:35,063
I think Jim Halpert
paid them to."
562
00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:36,106
[Jim laughs]
563
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:38,316
Yes, five bucks each.
564
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,859
And it was totally worth it.
565
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,444
"Two days ago, I came to work,
566
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,321
"and someone had put a sign
on my parking space.
567
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:44,906
"It said
'Assistant Regional Manager.'
568
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:47,242
"Yesterday it said 'Assistant
to the Regional Manager.'
569
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:48,660
"This morning it said
570
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,662
'Assistant to the Assistant
Regional Manager.'"
571
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,081
He was frantic.
572
00:22:53,123 --> 00:22:56,084
"This morning I found a bloody
glove in my desk drawer,
573
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,253
"and Jim Halpert
tried to convince me
574
00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,754
"I committed murder.
575
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:01,965
I think he may be
the real murderer."
576
00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:04,300
"Jim Halpert said there was
an abandoned infant
577
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,468
"in the women's room.
578
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,594
"When I went
to save the child,
579
00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:08,888
I saw Meredith on the can."
580
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:11,016
Gad.
581
00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:16,021
"This morning I knocked myself
in the head with the phone."
582
00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:19,107
(Jim)
That actually took a while.
583
00:23:19,149 --> 00:23:22,402
I had to put more and more
nickels into his handset,
584
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:23,945
till he got used
to the weight,
585
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,448
and then I just...
took 'em all out.
586
00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:28,992
"Every time I typed my name
587
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,785
it said Diapers."
588
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,831
Just a simple macro.
589
00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:37,459
You know, these actually
don't sound that funny
590
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,793
one after another.
591
00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,920
But he does deserve it, though.
592
00:23:40,962 --> 00:23:42,464
"By the end of the day,
my desk was about
593
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:45,800
two feet closer to the copier."
594
00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:47,927
Yeah, I just moved it
an inch
595
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:50,388
every time he went
to the bathroom.
596
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:53,141
And that's how I spent
my entire day that day.
597
00:23:56,061 --> 00:23:57,937
[phone rings]
598
00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:03,902
You must've misdialed.
This is Phyllis.
599
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,987
No, I'm not sure
what his extension is.
600
00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:13,870
Um, wait.
601
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,045
Oh...
602
00:24:42,357 --> 00:24:46,319
(Michael)
The Japanese have this thing called shiatsu massage,
603
00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:49,948
where they dig into your body,
very hard.
604
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,157
And it is very painful.
605
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:53,785
And apparently,
some people throw up.
606
00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,954
But the next day
they feel great.
607
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,872
I've never had one.
608
00:24:57,914 --> 00:24:59,749
They sound awful.
609
00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,463
[camera shutter clicks]
610
00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,298
Maybe Stamford
would be cool.
611
00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:12,637
It's a good market.
612
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,848
Higher volume.
613
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:17,559
Yeah.
614
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,686
Maybe we should both go.
615
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:21,563
I have a girlfriend.
616
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:23,231
Sure, you do, Dwight. Sure.
617
00:25:23,273 --> 00:25:27,235
Hey, there's, like,
300 more of these.
618
00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:28,653
Let's get to them later.
619
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:30,447
So, you gonna
transfer Jim or not?
620
00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:32,574
Maybe.
I haven't decided yet.
621
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:33,867
Let's get to work.
622
00:25:33,908 --> 00:25:35,076
I want an answer
by tomorrow.
623
00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:38,413
Okay--ooh, actually,
tomorrow's not good.
624
00:25:38,455 --> 00:25:40,999
How about later in the week?
625
00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:42,417
Fine.
626
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,711
Good.
Okay.
627
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:53,678
How did you get my desk
on the roof?
628
00:25:58,558 --> 00:25:59,768
Hey!
Wait.
629
00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:02,812
How about a group picture
while you're here?
630
00:26:02,854 --> 00:26:04,856
I can't, I only get reimbursed
for the I.D. photos.
631
00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:06,775
Well, that's, what,
a computer camera, right?
632
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:08,526
You mean, digital?
633
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:10,445
Yeah, it'll take, like,
two seconds.
634
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,447
20 bucks.
635
00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:14,366
[groans]
All right.
636
00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:17,410
Everybody, come on.
Group photo for the newsletter.
637
00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:19,287
You've gotta be kidding.
638
00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:21,081
Come on, everybody.
Come on, let's go.
639
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:24,292
Creed, Kevin, Oscar,
ándale, let's go.
640
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:26,795
One, two, three. Smile.
641
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,254
Try to smile.
642
00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:29,381
We resolved a lot today, everybody.
643
00:26:29,422 --> 00:26:30,590
Think happy thoughts.
644
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:31,925
Okay, I'm just gonna
take it on three,
645
00:26:31,966 --> 00:26:33,218
whether you smile or not.
646
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:34,552
One, two, three.
[shutter clicks]
647
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:36,888
Good.
Let's check that out.
648
00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:38,848
Ew, okay, all right.
649
00:26:38,890 --> 00:26:40,392
One more.
We'll take one more.
650
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:41,476
That'll be another 20.
651
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,061
What?
652
00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:44,979
Angela, I want to talk
to you about something. What?
653
00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,272
No, Pam--
I am.
654
00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:47,732
It's about
the Save The Date--
655
00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:49,359
Pam, it wasn't her.
What?
656
00:26:50,735 --> 00:26:52,779
I'm the one
who complained about you.
657
00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:59,327
I didn't know that Toby
was gonna write it down.
658
00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:00,829
I was just venting.
659
00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:03,790
You know, it was one day.
660
00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:06,042
And I took it right back.
It was like--
661
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,337
Okay.
662
00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:10,755
Oh, dear.
663
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:16,428
Okay... we can do this.
664
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:17,762
Come on, everybody.
665
00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:21,349
All right.
666
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:23,226
Here we go.
667
00:27:23,268 --> 00:27:26,813
(Michael)
It was really hard getting a good picture of 15 people.
668
00:27:26,855 --> 00:27:28,606
He would not give me
a discount.
669
00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:30,358
And eight tries added up.
670
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,944
One, two--
671
00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:34,571
Didn't say three, did I?
672
00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:37,407
But I'm sort of an expert
at Photoshop.
673
00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:39,534
So it turned out fine
in the end.
674
00:27:39,576 --> 00:27:40,910
When people work together,
675
00:27:40,952 --> 00:27:42,787
there is going
to be conflict.
676
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:45,290
You can't outrun
your problems.
677
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:46,666
(Jim, on phone)
Hey, Pam, it's Jim.
678
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:49,044
Um, I have a doctor's
appointment in the city.
679
00:27:49,085 --> 00:27:51,379
So I probably won't be in
till the late afternoon.
680
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:54,382
Just thought I'd let ya know.
Okay, bye.
681
00:27:54,424 --> 00:27:56,426
(female voice)
Okay, Jan will see you now.
682
00:27:56,468 --> 00:27:57,927
Oh, thanks.
683
00:27:57,969 --> 00:28:00,221
(Michael)
And that is why the idea of a cage match
684
00:28:00,263 --> 00:28:03,099
is so universally appealing.
685
00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:05,518
But here's the thing
about cage matches.
686
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:09,147
Sometimes you have
to open the cage.
687
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:14,652
And that is something that Toby
will never understand.
688
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:17,781
[machinery whirring]
689
00:28:38,301 --> 00:28:40,470
Oh, excuse me, sir.
690
00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:43,473
[grunts]
691
00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:45,642
Dwight Schrute,
is that your real name?
692
00:28:45,684 --> 00:28:46,851
Yes, sir.
693
00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:49,312
Good morning.
Good morning.
694
00:28:49,354 --> 00:28:50,647
Can--
Okay, go ahead.
695
00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:52,732
Thank you.
696
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,067
No, come on--
697
00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:56,027
God!
49426
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