All language subtitles for The Office Superfan Episodes S05E11 Moroccan Christmas Extended Cut 1080p PCOK WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

What is this?

Happy holidays, Dwight,

but do not open it
until Christmas.

You're so pathetic.

How long did this
take you? Three hours?

Five minutes. Actually.

I am a black belt
in gift wrapping.

Yeah, no such thing.

They don't give out black belts
for things that are stupid.

(Dwight scoffs)

Well, I hope it was worth it,

'cause I'm gonna take it
apart in about five minutes.

I think it'll take ya a little
bit longer than that.

Really?

If I can skin a mule deer
in less than 10 minutes,

I ought to be able to cut my...

Michael!

Chicken wire. Merry
Christmas, everybody.

(bright upbeat music)

I'm sorry. It's the
largest one I have.

I will not be the big
guy in the tiny hat.

This is the first
Christmas party I'm throwing

as head of the party
planning committee.

The theme is Night in Morocco.

This isn't your grandmother's
Christmas party.

Unless of course
she's from Morocco.

In which case it's
very accurate.

Phyllis has managed to
turn the Christmas party

into an opium den.

I assume Easter will
be in a whorehouse.

Let's hunt for eggs in
the whorehouse, Phyllis.

Hey Phyllis, do I need this
invite to get into the party?

- Yes.
- Awesome.

I think this is going to be
the best Christmas party ever.

I always say that, and
I'm usually disappointed,

but this time I am confident.

Although I thought
that last year too. So.

I think last year I met a
realistic range of expectations.

Okay. Good.

Angela. You're gonna move this

for the party, right?

It's not on theme.

It's the nativity scene.

All right.

You can keep your
camel, sheep, elephant,

and the North African
king can stay.

Everything else
goes in the drawer.

I am not gonna judge Phyllis
for desecrating Christmas.

There is one person
who will though.

And Phyllis just stuffed
him into a drawer.

I need you to get
rid of the tree.

- But...
- Thank you.

Oh, I don't think
it's blackmail.

Angela just does
what I ask her to do.

So I won't tell everyone

that she's cheating
on Andy with Dwight.

I think for it to be blackmail,

it would have to
be a formal letter.

I do not mind
doing hard labor.

Ronald Reagan got his
start as a stock boy

lugging heavy boxes,
10 hours a day.

[Phyllis] Don't
mess the pillows up.

And he went on to
become the president

of a party planning committee

I like to call the
United States of America.

Most people call it that.

(tree branches rustling)

Wait a sec!

(tree crashing down steps)

Did you know that an ant

can carry five times
its own weight?

All it needs is a strong
queen to tell it what to do.

And there's nothing that little
creature can't accomplish.

Ah, you brought in
your doll collection.

These are not dolls, Jim.

These are commodities.
Same as gold or oil.

Every year I do research
to determine which toy

will be the most popular
of the Christmas season.

This year, it's a doll,

half girl, half unicorn.

Catch phrase, "My horn
can pierce the sky."

Pathetic.

I bought out every
store in the area

over the last couple of weeks.

And as lazy parents
become more desperate,

I will sell them at
an enormous profit.

Isn't that right, princess?

That's the Christmas spirit.

I am simply
punishing those parents

that would wait
till the last minute

to give their child a gift.

And such a genetically
improbable one.

Look at that. How
does that happen?

The king has sex with a unicorn?

A man with a horn has
sex with a royal horse?

Oh, hey, is that
princess unicorn?

I thought they
were all sold out.

They are now.

Cool.

♪ My horn can pierce the sky. ♪

Whoop, ha.

Whoop whoop.

The Christmas party doesn't
start for another hour.

So I think we should
all work until then.

No, we are going to have a
pre-party before the party.

The pre-party's sort
of like stretching.

Don't want anybody to
pull a party muscle.

How long is this gonna take?

Whoop. Hey, don't
pressure the bartender,

S-to-the-H. Whoop.

Whoop, whoop, might
mess up the drink. Hey!

I'm getting red
wine in a glass.

Oooh!

Chicka Chicka!

I would love to open my own bar.

Have a pool table, a couple of
dart boards,

have an open mic night,

but a real one.

You know, one that
anybody could use

where they would
actually let you finish

your god damn routine.

This is equal parts,

scotch, absinthe, rum,

gin, vermouth, triple sec,

and two packs of Splenda.

I call it a one of everything.

Oh my God.

Hit me again.

All right. One more time
around the block.

I will grant you one wish.

I wish you would
stop rubbing that lamp

in that creepy way.

Stupid.

Everybody knows to ask
for a hundred more wishes.

Dumb.

(Moroccan music playing)

All right. We have
to take off our shoes?

Sorry, Toby.

But if you really wanna
experience Morocco,

that's what would happen.

All right.

All those candles,
Serenity by Jan.

- Really?
- I know, I know.

She's taking care
of a baby full time

and she still has time to be
creative and make candles.

That woman is a lunatic.

She is.

(Moroccan music playing)

Hey, hey, Ang, check it out.

♪ There's a place in France ♪

♪ Where the naked
ladies dance. ♪

Really Andy?

It's Christmas
and you're singing

about nudity and France.

♪ There's a hole in the wall ♪

♪ where the men
can see it all. ♪

Musical instruments
are very complicated.

When you first pick one
up, she's a mystery.

But once you learn
how to play her,

you can make beautiful
music together.

I wish women were the same way.

Jim. Check that out.

What is that?

That is vodka and I
mixed it with orange juice.

I call it an orange
vod-juice-ka.

- Wow. That is delicious.
- Yeah.

Can't believe no
one's thought of that.

I know.

He's a genius.
The man is a genius.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Oh, you want another? Very good.

Another red wine please.

How about a sangria?

This is red wine with
fruit in it Stanley.

And stew is red wine
with meat in it Michael.

I'd like a red wine please.

All right.

Hope the wine isn't as
bitter as your demeanor.

There you go.

Thank you.

Man can't give a
simple red wine.

What else you got?

Well, we have
some abstin-inthe.

abstin-inthe?

Suffice it to say that

I almost passed a
bartending course

a few years back.

I would've taken
it a third time,

but I just, you know,

thought it was
getting sort of silly.

(laughter)

(Moroccan music playing)

(drum music)

[Meredith] Belly dancing!

120, 180, 200.

All right. Well.

Thank you so much. My
daughter is gonna love this.

- So glad I could help.
- Thanks.

- Merry Christmas.
- You too.

Fa la la la la,
la la ka-ching.

Oh, so this is what
every day would be like

if you hadn't left India.

[Stanley] Oh, burning!

(everyone shouting)

(extinguisher whooshing)

(Moroccan music playing)

I'm all right. I'm all right.

I guess the
sprinklers don't work.

She went up quick. So
she's definitely a witch.

Or she's definitely not a witch.

I used to know this stuff.

(Andy strumming instrument)

Sorry.

This blows.

Honestly, Meredith.
It's not so bad.

Yeah. And you kind of
needed a haircut anyway.

It's totally uneven.

No, it's it's cute.

And spiky and fun.

You know who you
look like? Rihanna.

Or you could just
shave it all off

and then you'd look like
Pink or Natalie Portman.

You really think I look okay?

Yeah.

We're back on the fifth,
should we just do it then?

Cannot do it then,
monthly dental appointment.

Soft teeth.

What about February second?

Oh. Would you want to
do it on Groundhog day?

No, no. I celebrate privately.

Oh, That's right.

Why don't we just do it
now? We'll do it quickly.

Now? it's our Christmas party.

We'll do it quickly.

But, what if we
can't do it quickly?

What if we can't do it
quickly? What if we can't do.

Do you know how to
do an intervention?

Hey, shut up.

Here we go. Everybody gather up.

An intervention, it's
sort of hard to describe,

but really it's, it's
a coming together.

It's a surprise party,

for people who are,
who have addictions.

And you get in their face

and you scream at them

and you make them feel really
badly about themselves.

And then they stop.

Yeah, we do have to deal
with Meredith's problem.

I'll research our company's
substance abuse policy

and maybe contact
some professionals for

What?

Oh boy.

It looks like we're
gonna be here for a while.

So why don't you make a little
plate of humus for everyone?

Little triangles of pita,
toasted on both side,

fanned so you can
easily grab them.

I know...

And napkins, fanned.

Okay. How do you feel?

A little better.

I threw up.

Ugh. TMI.

Fire girl.

- Too soon?
- Yeah.

Okay. You know what
I thought we should do,

is have a quick intervention

and then get back to the party.

Oh, can we talk
about this privately?

That's what
we're doing, idiot.

Michael, we're only
allowed to talk about

Meredith's work performance.

We cannot ask her
to stop drinking.

I am not asking
her to stop drinking.

I am imploring her to
quit being an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic.

Yeah, obviously you are.

Okay, everybody who thinks
that Meredith is an alcoholic,

please raise your hands.

[Dwight] Aye.

The ayes have it.

I don't care what
everyone thinks.

I know I am not an alcoholic.

All right, well,

let's look at this a
little bit closer then.

Shall we?

When I was in college, I
used to get a wicked hammered.

My nickname was Puke.

I would chug a fifth of So
Co, sneak into a frat party,

polish off a few
people's empties,

some brewskies,
some jello shots.

Do some body shots off myself,

pass out, wake up
the next morning.

Boot, rally, more So Co.

Head to class.

Probably would've
gotten expelled

if I had let it
affect my grades,

but I aced all my courses.

They called me Ace.

It was totally awesome.
Got straight B's.

They called me Buzz.

Meredith. Have you
ever used alcohol

to alter your mood or
deliberately change

your state of mind?

Sure.

Do you sometimes have a drink

to celebrate a special
occasion or mark a holiday?

Obviously.

Have you ever, under
the influence of alcohol,

questioned the teachings
of the Mormon church?

Where did you get this?

I got it on a website.
That's not important.

Michael we should
contact some experts.

You don't know
what you're doing.

Okay. You know what, Toby?

One of my employees
is undergoing a crisis

and I wish for just once,

you would take my side on this,

I'm doing your job, man.

Hey, are you texting?

Yeah. 'Cause this
is kind of a drag.

[Michael] Alcohol
is a drag. Yes.

I'm sorry, when
Ryan broke up with me

and I was miserable,

nobody cared.

And then that one
time that I got sick

because I was waiting
in line all night

for those Justin
Timberlake tickets,

no one had any sympathy.

But then when Meredith
gets a little bit drunk

at one of the parties for the
hundredth time,

it's all about her.

You know what? I can
light my hair in fire too.

It's really easy.
And I'll do it.

You know why?

'Cause I hate my hair and
I want attention right now

'cause I'm really mad.

Here's what I'd like to do.

I'd like to go around the room

and have us each
express to Meredith

how her alcoholism
has affected us.

I'll begin.

This Christmas party is perhaps

the best Christmas party
I have ever been to.

But then you got so drunk that
we had to stop and do this.

That's how your
drinking affected me.

I'm not the one doing this.

You know what, Meredith?

You cannot push us away
with your horribleness.

Tough love is when you
have to be mean to somebody

because you love them.

And the more you love a person,
the meaner you have to get.

And I love Meredith about a six.

So that's fairly mean.

Anybody else, another time

when Meredith's
drinking affected you?

Come on people.

If we don't say anything, she's
not gonna get any better.

I also drink, perhaps
more than Meredith.

I just hide it better

and keep my clothes on.

Yes, Kevin.

Well, Meredith,
there was that one time

that you bought movie tickets

and then you got
too drunk to go.

So you gave them to me,

and that was really cool.

That's, you didn't,
you weren't hurt by that.

Yeah. You said affected by it.

- Thanks again, Meredith.
- You're welcome.

Okay. No, that's not
what we're going for.

Who has a problem with
Meredith's drinking?

It has to bother you.

It bothers me. Right?

How does it bother you?

Dwight? Don't you have anything?

No, I like Meredith.

Actually I don't
care for Meredith,

but I don't believe
in this kind of thing.

In the Schrute family,

we believe in a five
fingered intervention.

Awareness, education,

control, acceptance,

and punching.

Who is gonna tell us
the latest dirty joke?

Who is going to tell us

what you watched on
television last night?

I am fine.

Was John Belushi
fine? Was Bob Hope fine?

Hey, come here.

If anything ever
happened to you,

I would be very angry at myself

for not doing all
that I could do.

I know I drink.

I like to party.

I want you to say
I'm an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic.

You can say it as
loudly as you want,

but we're not going
to believe you.

Meredith is to alcoholic
what I am to chocolate.

I am a total chocoholic.

Maybe they should have
an intervention for me.

No, it's, alcohol
is very serious

and chocolate is just,
just tastes good.

I was waiting until later

to hand out this year's
gifts from corporate,

I don't think they're
appropriate anymore.

Please stop making
me do these things.

Oh, sorry. It's your job.

But it's the season of mercy.

You never showed me mercy
when you were in charge.

Why aren't you
wearing the hair net?

I lost it.

Fine.

Okay, nice.

I don't mind telling you
that I have an addiction, I do.

To porn.

All right. No, no, no, no.

That is, the image, I
think we can all agree,

is very disgusting,

but you know what?

Meredith, you lit your
hair on fire today.

What about tomorrow?

What is going to happen
when you come into work

and you're dead.

I stab her in the brain
with a wooden stick.

There are several
ways to kill a zombie,

but the most satisfying one

is to stab it in the
brain with a wooden stick.

Everyone in this
room loves you.

But mark my words,

we are not going to support
your alcoholism anymore.

The next time you
light yourself on fire,

we are not going to
help put you out.

Oh. As fire marshal,
I would have to.

Dwight.

She is a hazard to the
other people of the office.

Okay.

I suppose I could do it

if it was a controlled burn
in a well ventilated area.

Yeah, but you're gonna
need a permit for that.

Oh right. That'll
take a couple of weeks.

- I can get you one in an hour.
- Really?

Okay. You know this, this is over.

[Stanley] I agree.

Michael, I think you're
the best you could.

This is bigger than all this.

Enabler.

Enabler, enabler,
enabler, enabler, enabler.

It's Christmas, and we
are turning our back

on somebody who is
asking for help.

If everyone just walked
away this easily,

then everyone would
be an alcoholic.

Let 'em have their party,
come on, let's go in there.

I am not going to
give up on you.

Little late.

You know what the only thing I
want for Christmas?

I want Meredith to get better.

That's my only wish.

But you know what? My
wishes never come true.

So I'm not going to
wish that on her.

I, a watch would be nice.

It takes a lot of courage
to admit you are right.

And talking about my strengths

has always been
one of my strengths

and I am right.

Meredith needs help.

She needs help like an
alcoholic needs a drink.

And she's about to get a
big shot of Michael Scott.

They've been in
there for 45 minutes.

I know if she wasn't an
alcoholic before, she is now.

That's a halwa
chebakia cookie.

They serve it during Ramadan.

(instrument playing)

Hey.

What's up?

You take requests?

- Sure.
- Please stop.

'Cause we're having
a Christmas party.

I'll be down in a minute.

Could you write down the number

of that rehabilitation
center that you mentioned?

Sure. All right.

Oww.

I learned a lot today.

Besseha is Moroccan
for enjoy and relax.

Meredith may have a bit
of a drinking problem,

who knew?

And, the sprinklers.
They don't work.

All good to know.

- We just missed Poor Richard's.
- We did?

Yeah. I thought we were
going out for a drink.

Oh shoot.

Oh, well we'll have to go
someplace else then, I guess.

The Bob, Cooper's,
Kelly's, Bricks', Carmen's.

I have a new place.

It must have just opened up.

It, yeah, recently.

Yeah. All right.

All right.

Enough of this Christmas crap.

Let's get some party music.

- Yeah.
- Oh, there you go.

(rock music playing)

That's good.

- That's better.
- Party girl.

Hey Sasha. It's daddy.

Have you ever heard of
this doll Princess Unicorn?

(Sasha screaming
excitedly on phone)

Nope. Nope.

Nope. I'm just curious
if you heard of it.

This is great.

My ex-wife's gonna be so pissed.

For once Daddy's
gonna be a hero.

- 200.
- Yep.

Hey, I'd like to
buy one of your dolls.

Oh, that's my last one.

No, I would.

No, no. I was gonna, I
was gonna buy that doll.

Thanks man.

I was gonna get the doll.

Not my problem.

I promised my daughter.

Darryl, Look, I,
I need the doll.

I need the doll. I, I, I'm
begging you.

I just, I need it more
than anything in the world.

I need this doll. Darryl
man, I need this doll.

Okay. All right, man.

Don't cry. Just, it's cool.

I'll let you get this for 400.

I only have two.

[Darryl] You can owe me.

Oh man. Thanks. Thanks man.

Thank you.

I know. Right?
Merry Christmas.

Oh, thanks.

She's gonna, oh.

[Darryl] Something
wrong with the doll?

No, it's, it's even,

it's even better than
the one I wanted.

(music playing in car)

[Meredith] Sunrise Rehab?

No, no, no.

I told you no.

There is no way.

It's okay. It's all right.

(Meredith shouting)

Meredith, we're doing
this for your own good.

Okay.

- [Meredith] There is no way!
- Come on. Here we go.

This is, this is gonna be good.

[Meredith] I told you.
We talked about this.

There is absolutely no way!

There we go.

No, no, no way. No, there is
no way.

No, no!

[Michael] All
right, here we go.

[Meredith] I'm
not going in there.

[ Michael] Yes you
are, yes you are.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Wait, wait a minute.
- Shhhh.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Just wait.

Just wait.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

(both shouting)

There is no way.
There is no way.

Here's the door.

There is no way. No, no.

(Meredith screaming)

Hello, how are you?

Can I help you?

I have a deposit, alcoholic.

So, do I sign?

[Meredith] No!

I need you to put the
Christmas tree back up.

It's outside.

I didn't ask you where it was.
I told you where it needs to be.

Shut up.

Excuse me.

I'm not moving the tree.

Face it, the only
power you have over me

is this little secret that I
know you're not gonna tell.

Oh, and you wanna
know how I know that?

Because then you
won't be able to plan

your stupid tacky
parties anymore.

So you move the tree.

Okay.

Angela's having sex with Dwight.

I caught them doing it after
Toby's going away party.

Well, don't look so surprised.

I knew it.

You did not know it.

I knew some of it.

Everyone knew some of it.

It's Christmas.

- You knew it.
- Thank you.

- I knew it.
- She knew it.

As it turns out,

you can't just check someone
into rehab against their will.

They have to do it voluntarily.

And they have to
hit rock bottom.

So I think I know what I
need to do at this point.

I need to find ways to push
Meredith to the bottom.

I think I can do it.

I did it with Jan.

All right. Everybody's
still here. Perfect.

Got a little surprise.
I've been working on.

Angela, my bride,

I just wanted you to know that
for the rest of our lives.

No matter the cultural milieu,

I will always be there to
bring you some Christmas cheer.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of
holly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

♪ Fa la la la la ♪

♪ Troll the little
yuletide carol ♪

♪ Roo di doo di doo,
Roo doo doo doo. ♪

I think I'd like
to go home now.

Sure.

Tough room.

Come on, I just learned it.

Just so you know, protocol is
a little round of applause,

but merry Christmas to all

and to all a good night.

(bright upbeat music)