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1
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,598
Are you swallowing them whole?
2
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,683
You're eating them so fast,
3
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,977
are they even
touching your tongue?
4
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,061
Yes.
5
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,146
Why aren't you
having any, Angela?
6
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,397
Oh,
7
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,483
I ate so many already
when no one was looking.
8
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,193
(chuckles) Yeah, right.
9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,821
My baby's dieting.
10
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,198
She wants to fit into a special,
child-sized wedding gown
11
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:32,991
for our big day.
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,743
And why do those exist?
13
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,286
It's from my pageant days,
14
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:39,247
I was Miss Tiny Mid-Atlantic
Bride, when I was 10.
15
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,417
Brownies, is it?
16
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,710
Hm.
17
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,003
Pastry cubes made
of sugar and fat.
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,546
No, thank you. I'll
stick with my jerky.
19
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,672
So why'd you come in here?
20
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,341
To socialize and inform.
21
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,384
Ooh, brownies.
22
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,680
I'm taking two so I can
parcel them up and eat them,
23
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,932
at my leisure later
on, much healthier.
24
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,267
You're taking two.
25
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,062
Yeah. But one of
them is for Toby.
26
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,814
Yeah. Why don't you send
that to him in Costa Rica?
27
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,817
I'm just gonna hand
it to him, right now.
28
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,444
Okay, weirdo.
29
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,904
Why's that? Why is that weird?
30
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,947
She said she was gonna
give it to him right now.
31
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,991
(laughs) She's
probably going to,
32
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,368
because they sit
next to each other.
33
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,369
Yeah. They used to.
34
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,372
Toby works here again.
35
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,915
Oh, can you imagine?
36
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,500
- Oh no.
- Oh.
37
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:24,709
You don't know.
38
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,044
I don't know.
39
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,295
What?
40
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,089
You should probably
just meander back there.
41
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:29,964
Take a look.
42
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,424
See if he's, see if he's back.
43
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,885
Dare I? (laughs)
44
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,846
You know what? I'm going
to, for old time sake.
45
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,941
Great practical joke, Jim.
46
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,275
Got me go to the annex.
47
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,239
[Toby] Hi, Mich-
48
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,323
No, God!
49
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,743
No, God! Please, no!
50
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,078
No.
51
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:00,870
No.
52
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,872
No!
53
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,084
(bright upbeat music)
54
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,281
I blame the two of you.
55
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,615
This is your fault.
56
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,534
Michael, Dwight and I
were talking about this
57
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,952
{\an8}and we both don't understand
58
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,705
{\an8}how you didn't
realize Toby was back.
59
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,539
{\an8}I'm back.
60
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,917
I'm concerned. You
may have brain damage.
61
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:51,796
{\an8}You cannot expect me to keep
track of all of my personnel.
62
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,340
{\an8}There are a lot of people here
63
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,717
{\an8}and a lot of different
shapes and sizes.
64
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,510
{\an8}And there is nothing
65
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,137
{\an8}that is even vaguely interesting
66
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,638
{\an8}about the way that he looks.
67
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,182
{\an8}So, I'm off the hook.
68
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,684
{\an8}Maybe you cleaned your ears
too vigorously With Q-tips.
69
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,935
{\an8}I know where this is going.
70
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,395
{\an8}You could hurt
the temporal lobe,
71
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,105
{\an8}- I am not going to stop
- Which is in charge of all
72
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,106
{\an8}- putting Q-tips in my ears.
- Processing and recognition.
73
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,816
{\an8}I don't care
how much it hurts.
74
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,777
Maybe I just blocked
Toby from my mind.
75
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,488
{\an8}Oh, interesting. Continue.
76
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,531
{\an8}Like, when somebody's attacked
77
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:19,783
{\an8}and then they can't remember it
78
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:21,034
{\an8}until years later.
79
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,037
Toxic Shock Syndrome.
80
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,830
{\an8}Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome.
81
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,457
{\an8}Maybe it's China Syndrome.
82
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,668
{\an8}Could be any one of them.
It's a messed up world.
83
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,294
{\an8}It is a messed up world.
84
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,214
{\an8}But it's our messed up world.
85
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,092
{\an8}No, no, no. I have the key.
86
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,301
{\an8}I just wanted to make sure
87
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,512
{\an8}that everything was
clear for tonight.
88
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,638
{\an8}Oh, good.
89
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,472
Okay. Bye.
90
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,726
Today's a big day.
91
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,020
{\an8}Today is the day that I show Pam
92
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,563
{\an8}the house that I bought for us,
93
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:52,607
without telling her.
94
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,109
But it's my parents' house,
95
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,402
the house I grew up in.
96
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,029
And yeah, I bought it
kind of impulsively.
97
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,700
{\an8}I mean, the price was good
and I was helping out my mom.
98
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,868
{\an8}It's got shag carpets.
99
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,953
I mean, you can't
blame my parents,
100
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,454
it was the seventies.
101
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,207
And why would you wanna
buy ugly wood from trees,
102
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,458
when you can have paneling
103
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,961
{\an8}and a painting of
some creepy clowns
104
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,379
that is apparently crucial
105
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,007
to the structural
integrity of the building.
106
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,133
{\an8}She's gonna love it.
107
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,136
Right?
108
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,097
Look at him.
109
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,267
With his stupid face.
110
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,394
Stupid.
111
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,271
Tan.
112
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,481
Yeah, he looks great.
113
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,566
- No.
- Well rested.
114
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,608
He looks worse.
115
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,279
(phone ringing)
116
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,910
[Michael] Yeah.
117
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:46,870
David Wallace is
on the line for you.
118
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,496
[Michael] Thank God. David.
119
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,748
Hello? We need your help.
120
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,207
[David] Michael,
is everyone okay?
121
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,293
Oh, well I'm afraid not.
122
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:58,089
Toby Flenderson of HR has
made a sudden re-appearance.
123
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,759
[David] I don't
understand. Is anyone hurt?
124
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,093
Not on the surface, no.
125
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,013
But I can tell people
are disturbed, David.
126
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,600
[David] Michael, you
texted me "9-1-1. Call me."
127
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,685
- Yes.
- All in caps.
128
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,645
Do you know what 9-1-1 means?
129
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,106
I learned a while back
that if I don't text 9-1-1,
130
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,691
people will not return my calls.
131
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,778
But now people always
return my calls
132
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:24,657
because they think that
something horrible has happened.
133
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,951
And imagine how happy they
are when they find out
134
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,078
that I just called to say,
135
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,329
"What's up wit' you?"
136
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,664
[David] Toby was hired back
137
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,124
because he knows the branch,
138
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,210
he was available and I like him.
139
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,920
Okay? And that's that.
140
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,129
With all due respect, David,
141
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,006
this hardly seems
like a dialogue.
142
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,592
[David] That's because
it isn't, Michael.
143
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,468
Okay.
144
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,636
Now, what I'm curious about
145
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,971
is how you were able
to go an entire week
146
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,890
without knowing a member
of your staff was there.
147
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,726
I did not want to
go back to the annex
148
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,729
because that is where
Holly worked, whom I loved.
149
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,980
Also it's icky back there.
150
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,732
That's true.
People say it's icky.
151
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:00,819
[David] Okay.
152
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,945
I have to go.
153
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,113
David, wait.
154
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,447
[David] Nope.
155
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,032
Is there no way we
can get rid of him?
156
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,659
[David] Not without
cause, Michael.
157
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,160
I have cause.
158
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,037
It is because I hate him.
159
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,873
[David] You have to
get along with Toby.
160
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:14,791
No.
161
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,625
[David] Yep.
162
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,459
I don't.
163
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,460
[David] Goodbye, Michael.
164
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,549
Don't do that.
165
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,100
Oh, come on.
166
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,351
Do you see this?
167
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,396
Disgusting.
168
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,984
So, Tunes,
169
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,111
you still gonna buy
your old man's place?
170
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,612
Yeah, I am.
171
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,989
Wait, how do you know that?
I didn't tell you that.
172
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,532
Uh.
173
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,160
No, I was just walking by
your desk. I saw some emails.
174
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,162
I got the peepers of an eagle.
175
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,288
That's really not cool.
176
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,497
So, Jim.
(Andy caws)
177
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,999
You're gonna live
in the same house
178
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,293
that you used to pee the bed in?
179
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,961
Yeah, I guess,
technically Kev.
180
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:00,795
You're right.
181
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,213
Oh, man.
182
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,716
Jim just admitted
that he peed the bed.
183
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,592
You got me.
184
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:06,885
Could you guys all do me a favor
185
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,011
and just not talk about
this until I tell Pam.
186
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,346
- That'd be great.
- What?
187
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,098
You haven't told the
misses about the castle?
188
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,892
You're in for a
spanking, my friend.
189
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,728
Myself and my lady, no secrets.
190
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,188
Oh, Jim, don't listen to Andy.
191
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,023
I think it's so romantic.
192
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,608
Well, thanks Phyllis.
193
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,526
Bob bought our house without
consulting me and I loved it.
194
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,236
Yeah. You didn't
mind not choosing?
195
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,821
Oh no, not at all.
196
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,074
But Bob's so extravagant, I
knew it would be spectacular.
197
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,658
Ah.
198
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,911
There's a maze in the
back, like "The Shining."
199
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,412
Where's your place?
200
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,499
Oh, it's on Linden
Ave, by the quarry.
201
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,208
Oh.
202
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,084
Cool beans, man.
203
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,752
I live by the quarry.
204
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,253
We should hang out by the quarry
205
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,672
and throw things down there.
206
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,675
Definitely, we should.
207
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,885
I couldn't afford
the place I grew up in,
208
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,595
it's too expensive.
209
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,888
The Chateau Bernard.
210
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,849
You grew up in France?
211
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,144
No, West Hartford, but
it's a really big house.
212
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,357
We were rich, if I
really think about it.
213
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:04,567
Cool.
214
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,322
To whoever made
the microwave mess.
215
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,324
The microwave is a
shared kitchen appliance.
216
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,534
By not cleaning it up,
217
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,868
you are basically
telling whoever follows
218
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,495
that their time is less valuable
219
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,665
as they will have to scrub
out your disgusting splatter.
220
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,458
Sincerely, disappointed.
221
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,670
Well, that is just obnoxious.
222
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,462
[Oscar] No kidding.
223
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,338
Yeah.
224
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:27,966
Wait, what?
225
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,134
The mess or the note?
226
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,803
The note. So holier-than-thou.
227
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,929
Hmm.
228
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,222
I liked it.
229
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,682
Don't you think the
person who left the mess
230
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:36,641
is the obnoxious one?
231
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,517
No.
232
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,979
The note is way more
obnoxious than the mess.
233
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,981
Sincerely, disappointed.
234
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,483
Get off your high horse, Richie.
235
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,985
Just because someone
likes things clean
236
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,778
doesn't mean they're rich.
237
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:49,821
Eh.
238
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:50,613
They're rich.
239
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,824
Everyone keeps asking me
240
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,659
if I wrote the note
on their microwave.
241
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,746
It was rude and condescending
and a little snotty.
242
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,874
I wish I had written it.
243
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,208
Yeah. I wrote the note.
244
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,336
I'm not ashamed of it.
I'm not proud of it.
245
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,545
It is what it is.
246
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,052
You wanna see some
real high caliber acting?
247
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,804
Well, Mr. Kurt Russell,
you are about to be served.
248
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,934
Hey, Toby.
249
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,061
Great to have you back, man.
250
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:21,895
Seriously.
251
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,315
Just a real pleasure
to see you again.
252
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,275
Well, thanks Michael.
253
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,610
You're welcome. Missed you.
254
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,071
Missed you as part
of our family.
255
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,030
Wow.
256
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,198
That's sweet.
257
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,783
I missed you guys, too.
258
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,202
(Michael sips coffee)
259
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,870
So, Costa Rica, that was.
260
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,206
Did you have fun?
261
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,540
That must have been fun.
262
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,210
Well, it was amazing.
263
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,295
It really was.
Thanks for asking.
264
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,588
Beaches were pristine.
265
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,548
Nice beaches,
pristine beaches.
266
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,758
Yeah.
267
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,718
The whole thing was
incredibly cathartic.
268
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,304
Why'd you come back?
Why didn't you stay?
269
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,889
Well, it's actually kind
of hard to meet people.
270
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,848
I bet
271
00:09:58,890 --> 00:09:59,974
for you.
272
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,477
And yeah, plus it was hot.
273
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,647
Hot. Why didn't you
get an air conditioner?
274
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,108
Should have got an air
conditioner for yourself.
275
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,234
Are you all right, Michael?
276
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,736
(scoffs) I am. I am.
277
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,613
I tried. I tried.
278
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,908
I tried to talk to
Toby and be his friend,
279
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:22,789
but that is like trying to be
friends with an evil snail.
280
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,625
I feel like I'm dying inside.
281
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,922
I feel like Neve
Campbell in "Scream 2."
282
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,758
She thinks she can go off
to college and be happy.
283
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,845
And then the
murderer comes back,
284
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,472
starts killing off
all of her friends.
285
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,227
Learned a lot of
lessons from that movie.
286
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,812
This is just one of 'em.
287
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:55,196
Hey, anonymous coward
who left the note,
288
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,239
be a man.
289
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,532
Spend less time writing notes
290
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,743
and more time cleaning
up the microwave.
291
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,620
The nerve.
292
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,372
Okay. Just summarize.
293
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,457
Okay.
294
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,708
Fireable offenses include
295
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,501
workplace violence
and sexual harassment.
296
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,711
That's it. That's it.
297
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,879
Perfect.
298
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,505
We will get him
to hit on somebody
299
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:13,965
and then we'll catch
him in the act.
300
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,425
I love catching
people in the act.
301
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,634
[Michael] Mm.
302
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,886
That's why I always
whip open doors.
303
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:18,762
Me too.
304
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,055
Okay. Let's get this started.
305
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:23,391
Okay.
306
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,184
[Michael] What are you doing?
307
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,477
I am the bait.
308
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,519
[Michael] For what?
309
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,854
Men find me desirable.
310
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,564
- No, no, no.
- Oh. It's a good day, too.
311
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,607
I'm wearing my mustard shirt.
312
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,067
You're the bait for Toby?
313
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,276
Mm-hmm.
314
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,278
No, for one
thing he's not gay.
315
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,238
And if somebody were to be bait,
316
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,824
it would be Jim or Ryan.
317
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,992
Or me.
318
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,077
Men find me desirable.
319
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,995
Yes.
320
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,580
Sure they do, Dwight.
321
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,124
When it comes down to
it, it's a health issue.
322
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,709
I should have written that.
323
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,418
Mm-hm.
324
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,211
Yeah.
325
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,090
Why aren't you as mad or
interested in this as me?
326
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,633
Oh, totally.
327
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,718
Sorry. Were you talking
about the microwave still?
328
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,387
Are you inching away from me?
329
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,429
No.
330
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,514
Reach your arms out.
331
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,266
(Jim snickers)
332
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,434
I'm always this close.
333
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,894
♪ Pam town lady,
sing this song ♪
334
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,521
♪ Do-Da, Do-Da ♪
335
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,730
Hello, Pam.
336
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:11,940
Jim, may I have a moment
337
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,817
with Pam please?
(cell phone ringing)
338
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,026
Yes.
339
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,277
I just have to take
this call anyway, so.
340
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,530
Oh. Ooh, his mistress.
341
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,156
No, I'm kidding.
342
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,616
No one would ever cheat on you.
343
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,284
You're the complete
package, Pam.
344
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,285
What do you need, Michael?
345
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,787
Okay.
346
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,330
What I would like you to
do is take this folded note
347
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:31,126
and deliver it to
Toby Flenderson.
348
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,587
I want you to just react to
whatever this note elicits.
349
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,548
Do not read it beforehand.
350
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,549
Can you do that for me?
351
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,675
- Sure.
- Good.
352
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,511
No, no, no, no. Don't.
353
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,805
Please hug and kiss me no
matter how hard I struggle.
354
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,515
I'm too shy to tell
you that I love you.
355
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,018
Damn it, Pam. You
gave me your word.
356
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,149
- You like that, baby?
- Mm-hmm.
357
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,527
- Yeah, you do?
- Mm-hmm.
358
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,612
Hey, guys. That's
really inappropriate.
359
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,410
What's up?
360
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:09,330
I got some photos from Costa
Rica, if you wanna see them.
361
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,165
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
362
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,041
Yeah, I'll see 'em.
363
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,625
Toby. Can I see those?
364
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,336
Oh, what's the matter?
365
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,004
What's the matter? You scared?
366
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,131
- Oh, those are fighting words.
- You mad? You mad at me?
367
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,674
I hope he doesn't haul
off and just hit you.
368
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,217
Do you wanna do that?
Do you want to hit me?
369
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,677
You wanna punch me?
370
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,346
- Hm? Huh? He might do it.
- Punch him, Toby!
371
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,348
I dare you to. Come on.
372
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,349
- Whap.
- What's the matter?
373
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,475
- Hit him.
- Aw.
374
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,185
- Hit him, chicken.
- Yeah. Punch him.
375
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,394
Hey. Hey.
376
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,354
Come on, Ryan. Whose
side are you on?
377
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,521
[Dwight] Come on, man.
378
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,857
No, do it. Do it. I dare ya.
379
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,859
Punch him as hard as you
possibly can in the face.
380
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,652
Not as hard as you can.
Just a good, solid punch.
381
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:40,987
Come on, come on.
382
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,906
I'm not gonna
punch you, Michael.
383
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,117
Are you really
not gonna punch him?
384
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,912
- No. Why I would punch you?
- Oh, son of a bitch.
385
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,379
Shoulda hit him, man.
386
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,338
Guy's asking for it.
387
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,924
Once in a lifetime, man.
388
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,013
Hey, whoever was bashing
the first note, grow up.
389
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,058
The microwave is filthy
and no one here is a maid.
390
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,352
See? Someone around
here is sane.
391
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,147
You are all a bunch of idiots
and privileged asswipes
392
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,399
who weren't raised right.
393
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,818
If I find you, I'm gonna
knock your teeth out.
394
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,571
Yikes. It's a
little over the top.
395
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,116
But their heart's
in the right place.
396
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,625
I thought you were
gonna parcel those out through the day.
397
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,002
Could you stop it?
398
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,380
You haven't done
anything helpful all day.
399
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,927
There's still one thing
we can do to get Toby fired.
400
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:47,846
What's that?
401
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,309
Frame him for using drugs.
402
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,562
- Frame him?
- Yeah.
403
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,230
It's illegal but
404
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,357
everything they do in
"The Shield" is illegal.
405
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,860
I've never framed a
man before. Have you?
406
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,695
Oh, I've framed
animals before.
407
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,239
I framed a raccoon for
opening a Christmas present.
408
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,825
And I framed a bear for
eating outta the garbage.
409
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,327
Just seems awfully mean.
410
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,248
But sometimes the
ends justify the mean.
411
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:22,172
It's like, when you're
supposed to kill baby Hitler.
412
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,006
Oh, not me.
413
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,342
Why not?
414
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,468
If we had killed baby Hitler,
415
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,844
my grandparents
never would've met.
416
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,139
- It's tricky.
- Mm.
417
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,849
You wanna fight?
418
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,393
Fight you.
419
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:39,731
I'll punch you, punch you.
420
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,858
I'll punch you, Michael.
421
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,404
Punch you, Michael.
422
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:50,867
Hello.
423
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,494
(Snap-n-Pops popping)
424
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,286
I've seen you guys
425
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,747
around.
426
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,248
I'm Michael Scott, Dunder
Mifflin. How you doing?
427
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,254
(casually sighs) So, I
guess you know why I'm here.
428
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,841
We didn't piss in your
mailbox. We didn't do it.
429
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,677
That's, I don't
care about that.
430
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,929
I need to purchase something.
431
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:11,721
Like a fridge?
432
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:12,764
No.
433
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,646
I wanted,
434
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:20,855
I wanted to buy some weed.
435
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,190
- Some-
- What?
436
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,149
Grass weed.
437
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,318
What makes you
think we'd have weed?
438
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,945
Kind of a stereotype,
don't you think?
439
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,780
Meant no offense.
440
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,449
I'm sure you're very
outstanding young men.
441
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,703
I just had heard that you
were drug dealers and-
442
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:35,745
What?
443
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,457
I heard you were
drug, I heard you dealt.
444
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,756
Hey, just hold on, one second.
445
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:53,596
I'm not wearing a wire. So.
446
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,682
Why would you even say that?
447
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,517
Hey, hey. This'll be $500?
448
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:58,476
How much?
449
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,395
$500. It's a good price.
450
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:01,604
It's a steal.
451
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,398
[Michael] How
many pounds is that?
452
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,566
It's two pounds.
453
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,567
I'm losing money on this, man.
454
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,860
Just give me the money.
455
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:08,862
All right, walk away.
456
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,530
Walk away, walk away.
457
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:17,871
Ah-ha
458
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,626
Hey Pam, I just
wanted to let you know,
459
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:27,297
I'm totally on your side with
the whole microwave situation.
460
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:28,590
Thank you.
461
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,091
I was just back there
to make some Cup-a-Soup.
462
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,509
The thing is still huge mess.
463
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,594
I know. Can you believe it?
464
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,554
Yeah, it's crazy.
465
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:38,975
But I guess the thing is, at
some point, notes or no notes,
466
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,895
someone's gonna have to just
get in there and clean it up.
467
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,982
I guess, that's why
we have a temp, huh?
468
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,069
(laughs) Oh, no. Trust me.
469
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,570
I would just make it worse.
470
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,614
How would wiping it with
a paper towel make it worse?
471
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,407
I would find a way. (laughs)
472
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,284
You've seen things cleaned
before though. Right?
473
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,536
I, Pam, I'm hopeless
at that stuff.
474
00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,371
I, I, uh.
475
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,292
I think it's really cool that
you wanted to see my photos.
476
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,252
What's this pink thing
on that white oval?
477
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,922
That's me. I was
Boogie-Boarding. I gave it a try.
478
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,048
Who took this picture?
479
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,383
Did you make some friends?
480
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:16,805
I hired a local
kid to snap it.
481
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,056
If you ever wanna come over,
482
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,475
I got a new blanket
in my TV room.
483
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,476
Stole it off a plane.
484
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:23,812
Sunsets.
485
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,605
- Mm, that looks beautiful.
- Unbelievable.
486
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:29,442
No. No.
487
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,202
Mm-hmm. Tell me
about this monkey.
488
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,539
(sighs) Uh.
489
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,334
- Hi, Michael.
- Hey, hey.
490
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,836
Hey. Hey.
491
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,254
I forgot.
492
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,088
Forgot.
493
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,927
Yes.
494
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,096
I repeat a drug dealer is on
the premises of Dunder Mifflin.
495
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,473
His name is Toby Flenderson
496
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:03,518
and he recently returned
from a mysterious vacation
497
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,186
in Central America.
498
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,106
I have risked a great deal
to tell you this information.
499
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,566
My name is Andy Bernard.
500
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,568
Andrew Bernard, that's my name.
501
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,533
Oh, okay.
502
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:21,911
I'm not, I am not as
liberty to talk about it.
503
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,038
Let's just say
504
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,165
that I
505
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:28,293
somethinged something
in somebody's something.
506
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,004
And if discovered, then
someone will get somethinged.
507
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:33,715
I may have said too much.
508
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:38,428
(keyboards clicking)
509
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,562
Andy, isn't that your phone?
510
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,065
- Yes.
- Huh?
511
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,150
As a matter of fact, it is.
512
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,444
Wonder what it's
doing over there?
513
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:55,570
I have no idea.
514
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,322
What is my perfect crime?
515
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,574
I break into
Tiffany's at midnight.
516
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:00,408
Do I go for the vault?
517
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,118
No, I go for the chandelier.
518
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,495
It's priceless.
519
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,830
As I'm taking it down,
a woman catches me.
520
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,040
She tells me to stop.
521
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,084
It's her father's
business. She's Tiffany.
522
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,126
I say, "No."
523
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,419
We make love all night.
524
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:12,921
In the morning, the cops come
525
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,714
and I escape in one
of their uniforms.
526
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,592
I tell her to meet me in
Mexico, but I go to Canada.
527
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:18,677
I don't trust her.
528
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,012
Besides I like the cold.
529
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,430
30 years later,
I get a postcard.
530
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:25,183
I have a son and he's
the chief of police.
531
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,185
This is where the
story gets interesting.
532
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:31,064
I tell Tiffany to meet me
in Paris, by the Trocadero.
533
00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:32,440
She's been waiting for
me all these years,
534
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,192
she's never taken another lover.
535
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,694
I don't care. I don't show up.
536
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,571
I go to Berlin. That's where
I stashed the chandelier.
537
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,158
Pervert.
538
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,286
Angela, I didn't do that.
539
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:48,123
So, is this what they taught
you at your fancy art school?
540
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,124
Everyone.
541
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,710
I have an announcement to make.
542
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,381
I'm the person who put the
first note on the microwave.
543
00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:59,551
But I did it because
it needed to be said.
544
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,886
Why did you hide
behind anonymity?
545
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,346
Because I was scared.
546
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:04,806
But if that's my only crime,
547
00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,559
is it a worst crime than
leaving a filthy microwave?
548
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,351
Amen.
549
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:09,894
Don't. This is for real.
550
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,230
Just clean it up yourself,
if it bothers you so much.
551
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,440
It's not my mess.
552
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,191
It would've taken
less time to clean it up
553
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,735
than to write all those notes.
554
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:17,902
That's not the point.
555
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,697
Listen, New York,
that might fly-
556
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,408
Why? Because I went to
New York for three months?
557
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,493
That and the black
sweater, Manhattan.
558
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,369
Okay. Yes.
559
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:28,079
I went to New York, everybody.
560
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,914
I'm not gonna apologize for it.
561
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,624
I experienced more
there in one week
562
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,501
than I experience
here in three months.
563
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,794
I love New York.
564
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,379
You know, I especially
loved that people there
565
00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:37,881
cleaned up after themselves.
566
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:40,717
Well, I work too hard all
day to be the maid here too.
567
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:43,094
I got a mess to clean up at
home plus I'm a part-time maid.
568
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,471
And what about the penises?
569
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,848
I thought those were funny.
570
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,350
I didn't do 'em, Phyllis.
571
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:50,560
Well, it's the anonymity
that I find so cowardly, Pam.
572
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,729
Really? Can you just
get over that part?
573
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:56,399
Why should I? You couldn't
get over the messy microwave.
574
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:57,192
Wha?
575
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:02,781
I can't do this.
576
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:03,948
Can't do what?
577
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,867
It's not fair to you.
578
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:07,410
And it's really not fair to me.
579
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:08,745
Wait, what are you saying?
580
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,121
I broke up with Darrell
so I could be with you.
581
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,457
That was your choice.
Don't put that on me.
582
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,167
I'm just going on a little trip.
583
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,126
Oh, can I come?
584
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:16,628
It's not that kind of trip.
585
00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:18,797
I'm going to Thailand with
some friends from high school.
586
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,298
Well, a high school.
587
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,175
And if I don't do it now,
I'll never get to go.
588
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:23,426
And I'll always
resent you for it.
589
00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,261
You don't want me to
resent you, do you?
590
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:26,805
So, you're dumping me.
591
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,848
Let's be adults about this.
592
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,642
Let's have sex one more time.
593
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:33,353
And if you have any extra
cash, that would be amazing.
594
00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:36,731
Okay.
595
00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:42,070
Hi, we received a call.
596
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:43,780
I don't know
anything about that.
597
00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:47,075
We were tipped off about a
possible narcotic situation.
598
00:22:47,117 --> 00:22:48,076
Here?
599
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:48,993
Hey. Pam.
600
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:49,953
Hey, I got this. Okay?
601
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,371
Hello, officers.
602
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,623
Dwight Shrute, former
volunteer Sheriff's Deputy.
603
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:55,667
Listen, I may have
inside information
604
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:58,211
that someone is hiding
drugs in this very office.
605
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,969
Just pretend like we're
talking until the cops leave.
606
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:13,309
Those are real
cops, real guns.
607
00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:14,728
I wonder what's going on.
608
00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:17,772
Officers, I reveal
to you the perpetrator.
609
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:18,440
Hey, what is this?
610
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:19,733
Search his things.
611
00:23:19,774 --> 00:23:20,692
Sir, can you step away
from your desk please?
612
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,818
Why?
613
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:22,777
Sir, please step
away from your desk.
614
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:23,903
Hey, what's going on?
615
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,363
You don't have my
permission to do this.
616
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,073
They don't need your
permission, Flenderson.
617
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:29,034
They've got the
company's permission.
618
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,201
Hey. Hey, what are you?
619
00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:32,120
Why are you doing this?
620
00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,538
You know what?
621
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,622
I think, this is probably
a misunderstanding.
622
00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:36,124
- Don't search my stuff.
- Sir.
623
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:38,585
I have a reasonable
right to privacy.
624
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,420
Save your whining for
the jury there, Flenderson.
625
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,505
Yeah, let's cancel this. Okay?
626
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:43,631
Sir, did you recently return
627
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,300
from a trip to Central America?
628
00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:47,218
Oh my God. I went to
Costa Rica for a few months.
629
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,303
[Michael] That was legitimate.
630
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:49,387
That was totally legitimate.
631
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:50,305
Oh, really?
632
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:51,639
[Michael] Oh, God.
633
00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,058
That is not mine. I've
never seen that before.
634
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,267
No, no, no, no.
635
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,435
- No, no, come on.
- What is going on here?
636
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,187
No, that's, I don't
know what that is.
637
00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,521
- Do you have any weapons?
- Of course, not.
638
00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:00,023
I bet he has nothing
to do with that.
639
00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:01,399
Ah. That's mine.
640
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,275
No, Michael. No.
641
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:03,693
Yes. It's mine.
642
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:08,073
Some basil and salad
dressing, I think.
643
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,074
Salad dressing?
644
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,784
Yeah. It's a Caprese salad.
645
00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:13,787
It's a little bit of a
mozzarella right there.
646
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:14,746
Are you kidding me?
647
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,248
It's my salad.
648
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,750
So wait a minute.
There's no drugs.
649
00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:19,501
[Officer] No.
650
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,795
Oh, damn it. Come on.
651
00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:22,754
We got a fake tip.
652
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:25,006
Wait, officers,
653
00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:26,091
are you sure you don't
wanna interrogate him?
654
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,676
[Officer] No.
655
00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:29,469
You have laws that protect you
in any kind of interrogation.
656
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:30,720
Why don't you use them?
657
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,476
You must feel pretty good
about yourself right now.
658
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:39,145
I didn't put Caprese
salad in my drawer, Michael.
659
00:24:39,187 --> 00:24:39,979
Did you?
660
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:44,901
Since when is it illegal to
put Caprese salad anywhere?
661
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,029
You know, but the police
could have been out there,
662
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:50,073
you know, catching real
criminals instead of here,
663
00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:51,366
searching my stuff.
664
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:52,450
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
665
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:54,327
That's what you're
worried about.
666
00:24:54,369 --> 00:24:56,538
You're worried about
the cop's time?
667
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:57,831
You think I framed you
668
00:24:57,872 --> 00:24:59,833
and you're worried
about the taxpayer?
669
00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:02,669
God.
670
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:08,842
Welcome back. Jerky jerk face.
671
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,848
Hey, do you mind if we
make a stop, on the way home?
672
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:15,724
Sure.
673
00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:16,850
Cool.
674
00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:19,644
(birds chirping)
675
00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:22,063
What are we doing at
your parents' house?
676
00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:23,857
I have a surprise for you.
677
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:24,983
All right. Ready?
678
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:25,859
Close your eyes.
679
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:27,694
And now,
680
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:30,739
open your eyes.
681
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:31,656
Ta-da.
682
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,244
I don't get it.
683
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:37,037
I bought it.
684
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:39,998
It's ours.
685
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:45,712
Let's go inside.
I'll show you inside.
686
00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,800
So, if you can believe it,
I did it without a realtor.
687
00:25:50,842 --> 00:25:53,386
So, saving on closing
costs is good.
688
00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:57,807
And we can put all the
money to de-shag the carpet,
689
00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:03,146
which I think will help
the color situation.
690
00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:08,735
Yeah, I am really
sorry about this.
691
00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:11,821
I tried to move it, but he
is really nailed in there.
692
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:14,783
Worried about art
theft, I guess.
693
00:26:14,824 --> 00:26:16,868
A lot of art thieves
in this neighborhood.
694
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:21,206
This is the master bedroom,
695
00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:23,583
but actually not
allowed in here, so.
696
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:30,924
And of course, you
remember the fountains.
697
00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:35,345
Where the birds come to die.
698
00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:36,721
That was only the two birds
699
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,766
and one was dead before
it hit the fountain, so.
700
00:26:40,975 --> 00:26:42,602
Oh, let me show you
one other thing.
701
00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:45,397
So, I'm still in the process
of converting the garage.
702
00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:47,482
It's got great light in here.
703
00:26:47,524 --> 00:26:48,817
I was thinking,
704
00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:49,776
could be perfect
705
00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:52,445
for an art studio.
706
00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:04,916
Look,
707
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,001
I know.
708
00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:08,378
I bought this without
asking you and
709
00:27:08,420 --> 00:27:10,380
it doesn't look great.
710
00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:11,923
I know that.
711
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:14,384
And if you really hate
it, I totally understand.
712
00:27:14,426 --> 00:27:15,844
It's just-
713
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:16,678
I love it.
714
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:19,472
You do?
715
00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:21,266
Yeah.
716
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:22,767
I love it.
717
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:23,643
Really?
718
00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:25,103
I mean, you bought me a house.
719
00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,271
Oh, my God.
720
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:27,564
You bought me a house.
721
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:30,775
Yeah. I did.
722
00:27:38,783 --> 00:27:41,036
Do we have to sleep in
your parents' bedroom?
723
00:27:41,995 --> 00:27:43,538
No.
724
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,123
No, we'll just board that up.
725
00:27:45,165 --> 00:27:48,543
It'll be that weird spare
room that people ask us about.
726
00:27:48,585 --> 00:27:49,669
And the clown?
727
00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:51,921
Yeah. I really can't move him.
728
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:56,885
You said you were leaving
729
00:27:56,926 --> 00:27:59,095
and you made liars
out of all of us.
730
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,013
I did leave.
731
00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,264
Yes, you did.
732
00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:02,515
And then you came back,
733
00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:04,559
which makes you the biggest liar
734
00:28:04,601 --> 00:28:06,936
- of history.
- I don't see it that way.
735
00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:10,982
You wanna hear a lie?
736
00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:11,733
What?
737
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,234
I think you're great.
738
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:14,235
You're my best friend.
739
00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,283
Doesn't count when
you say it's a lie.
740
00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:29,250
(bright upbeat music)
50945
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