All language subtitles for The Office Superfan Episodes S05E08 Business Trip Extended Cut 1080p PCOK WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Did you know that in Morocco
it is common to exchange

a small gift when meeting
somebody for the first time?

In Japan, you must
always commit suicide

to avoid embarrassment.

In Italy, you must
always wash your hands

after going to the bathroom.

This is considered to be polite.

Why are you telling us this?

I am jetting off on an
international business trip.

Where are you going?

To Canada.

Where is it?

- Canada.
- Okay.

My boss is sending me
abroad to do a presentation

to an international client, and
I have always been intrigued

by all things international.

The women, the pancakes,
the man of mystery.

In England, they say hi.

In China, they say hi-ya.

In France, the women are sexy.

In Latin America,
the women are spicy.

In Germany, the women
are robust and huge.

Where are you getting
your information?

From the information
superhighway, and from movies.

From "Gung Ho,"
"European Vacation."

Oh.

"Notting Hill,"
"Under the Tuscan Sky."

- But Michael.
- Yes?

Where in Canada do you
need to know all this?

Good question.

I will be flying from the
Scranton International Airport

to the Winnipeg
International Airport,

where people from all
over the world will see me

not just as Michael
Scott, businessman,

but as Michael
Scott, ambassador.

Then you should probably
know that in Canada,

it is a sign of respect

to offer a bottle of
Vermont maple syrup.

Really?

Okay.

Meredith, I would
like you to pretend

that you are from Abu Dhabi.

Hello.

I am ashamed at
your naked face.

I must cover it with my jacket.

You are now sexy
in your culture.

(bright upbeat music)

(keys jingling)

(Jim whistling)

- T-minus...
- 6.5 days.

(hand slapping)

One more week.

Pam comes back from
New York next week,

and everyone here has just
been so excited for me,

and involved, and
intrusive, and weird.

One more week.

(Stanley laughs)

- Do you have your passport?
- I have my passport.

- Got your per diem?
- I have my per diem.

I already know what I am
going to spend this on.

I'm going to buy a sweater.

[David] Michael,
that's for your food.

Well, I'll just, I'll use
different money for that.

[David] All right.

Wallace did a terrible
thing to Michael.

He transferred Holly
to another branch,

destroyed their relationship,

and then to make it all better,

he chooses Michael to
go on a business trip.

Classic abusive parent.

Here, Michael, take this
drug to numb the pain

that I inflicted on
you when I was high.

And the drug in all this?

Status.

And business class air, like
a five star hotel in the sky.

Nothing but the best.

Actually, better than
a five star hotel,

'cause you get a big, cushy seat

and you sit in a row of people

and to eat whatever
the mind can imagine.

I think I am going to have
a filet with mushroom sauce.

[David] Well, I'm
just glad you're happy,

'cause you know I felt bad.

Well, that is all
in the past, so wow.

I was happy to send
Michael on this trip.

He's been feeling pretty down

since we had to transfer
Holly up to New Hampshire,

but this little perk really
seemed to turn him around.

And it's pretty tough
to find somebody

who wants to go up to
Winnipeg mid-November.

And in terms of nightlife,

when you get there,
just ask the concierge.

- They have one of those?
- Only the best.

Wowie.

All right. How do you spell
concierge, by the way?

- C-O-N.
- Let's do this!

Wait, why do you
need three suitcases?

Two are empty for souvenirs.

You have your money belt?

- I do. It is right here.
- Oh, no no no no no.

You want to wear that puppy

right up on the
breastbone like a bra.

No, I don't want
to wear a bra.

- Let me help you.
- Stop it! Stop it!

Do you want to get robbed
in a foreign country?

I wash my hands of this.

Okay, where's my translator?

- Ici, monsieur.
- There he is.

I'm just bidding a bon
voyage a la mon petite fiancee.

Translation, goodbye,
my petite fiancee.

- Be good.
- I will try.

Meaning what?

Meaning I will try to
get other dudes laid.

Yeah, baby! That's
what I'm talking about.

That could be you, if you
hadn't forgotten French.

I know, it just slipped away.

(Jim speaking French)

Where is my numbers man?

Here.

There we go! Our
town car awaits.

It's just a van.

It's not just a van.

Look, I know my
way around a van.

That is just a van.

Yuck! See, that is why
everyone hates America.

Dwight, could you
get those, please?

[Dwight] Oh god.

What is the heart of
the Canadian economy?

Money, and I am getting some.

- Thank you very much.
- Hold on.

Michael, how much
money did you change?

Two grand, baby.

Oh no, we're only
there for one night.

And look at the commission rate.
And there's a handling fee!

Okay, all right, all
right. Chill out, quick fix.

Excuse me, change it back.

Yes, yes yes yes.
Get as much as you can.

Strippers do not
take credit cards.

Change it back.
Change it back.

Why are you still
changing money?

Michael, you don't need cash.

You get a better rate
on the credit card.

You only need cash
for the cab ride.

- Okay.
- Do you understand?

I'll see you at the gate.

Change it back.
(glass banging)

Change it back.

This is...

This is a smaller pile.

That, okay.

Now I have $1,800.

- More glitter.
- More?

- Well, you love her, right?
- Of course.

Well, then quit
screwing around.

Okay.

Oh, no way, you can't do that.

Why?

Well, if I made
a card like that,

you'd ridicule me for it.

Well yeah, if you
made a card like this,

it'd be kind of dorky.

Really? Why?

Because you're kind of a dork.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Well, if you did this,
you'd look like a dork.

(Dwight mimicking
an electric guitar)

I probably would, yeah.

I probably would, yeah.

See? Two can play at that game.

Which game?

- The-
- Mocking.

Mocking, ridiculing dork game.

Game.

Oh, okay, so you're gonna
repeat what I'm saying.

Yeah.

- That's so mature.
- Mature, yeah.

- Grow up.
- Grow up.

Hey hey hey, there they are.

What took you guys so long?

We've been
pre-boarded for hours.

Welcome to "Cribs," the
business class edition.

- Check this out. Mimosa.
- Oh, sweet!

Handed it to me as I sat down.

This was my hot towel.
It is still wet.

Michael G. Scott,
rolling like a pimp.

- Take a sip of that.
- Mm-hm!

That good? Don't
drink all of it.

Give some to Oscar.

- That's really good.
- I'm good.

- No, it's like-
- You want one of your own?

I could hook you up.

I'm sorry, you'll
need to keep moving.

Yes, this is Beth.

This is my personal valet
slash flight attendant,

and she will be helping
me this morning.

We need to keep
the aisle clear.

- Yes.
- Oh, get back, get back.

- All right.
- Come on.

- Get back to the slums.
- Oh boy.

Hey, guys, check it out.

My own personal DVD
player and 20 movies.

Andy brought one too.

"Harry and the Hendersons."

Shh! Keep it down!

I made egg salad
sandwiches. Do you want one?

Could you have picked

something stinkier
to bring on a plane?

My god, Oscar, really.

Do you have a bag of
baby poop in there too

to share with everybody?

No, I'll be ordering my own
food, thank you very much.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'd like to see
a menu, please.

Oh, I'm sorry,

there are no meals on
flights less than two hours.

Oh, okay.

(bell dings)

Doesn't matter, because
I am going to take a nap.

I think I'm going to use
my complementary blindfold.

I will don it,

and oh, look at that.

I can't see, because I am in a-

(cart thuds)

God!

And what would
you like to drink?

Just checking out where
I'm gonna be pretty soon,

when Pam gets back.

Gonna be close quarters.

Gonna be a lot of tension.

For you. I'm with Darryl.

This looks like where
I'll probably do my pushups

every day.

Is that supposed
to impress me?

No, not gonna happen.

He has hurt me too
much and too often,

and I am in a healthy
relationship now.

So I'm not gonna flaunt
it, I'm not gonna hurt him,

but that door is closed.

What are we doing?
This is so wrong.

Yeah.
(both moaning)

I've heard what they say,

but I guess you can go back.

Honey roasted
peanuts, am I right?

I don't understand
the question.

Yes, you're holding
a bag of peanuts.

Gonna save that for later.

Now let's talk
about getting laid.

Oh, no thanks.

I haven't been in a relationship
in a really long time,

so it doesn't even matter.

Well, you just lucked out,

because Canada is the
gayest country on Earth,

and I am the best
wingman on Earth.

You know what?

That's a very kind
offer, I mean it,

but it's totally unnecessary.

- Oscar.
- You don't-

- Watch this.
- Watch?

Excuse me, sir? Hi.

Are you gay?

No.

Really?

Yeah.

'Cause that's a
pretty elegant shirt.

Meaning what?

Just saying.

Groundwork.

The term wingman was
first popularized by the film "Top Gun"

when, after a harrowing
encounter with Russian MiGs,

Iceman says to Mav, "You
can be my wingman anytime."

Now Mav could say anything,
because previously,

Iceman killed Mav's
best friend Goose.

But Mav says to Iceman,

"BS, you can be mine."

I'm sorry, it's powerful stuff.

This is nice. This is nice.

Move in here.

Very sweet.

Ah.

- I'll check us in.
- All right.

- Very cool.
- Very cool.

We are gonna find out where
the action is, my friend.

- Okay.
- Where's the concierge?

Yes, Wallace said there
would be one of those.

Mm, bingo.

- Follow moi, bro-sieur.
- Wow!

Hm, haven't heard
from Michael yet.

So?

Maybe his plane went down.

If a commercial airliner
went down, it'd be on the news.

Yeah, the ones you hear about.

What about a nice sushi place?

Maybe a place with a view?

Oh, Matsuki.
That's a good one.

You may walk there if you wish,

or you may take the number
17 bus until nine o'clock.

Other than that, you
can take the taxi,

and the number is right there.

Wow, wow. I'm
blown away by this.

I...

This is great, thank you.

One final question.

Where might you find yourself

on a Winnipeg
night like tonight?

Oh, the Huntsman is good.

The Huntsman.

[Marie] Down here,
the financial district.

A concierge is the Winnipeg
equivalent of a geisha.

This is a woman who
has been trained

in the fine art of
fanciness and pleasure,

and when you meet one,
it is intoxicating,

just what the doctor ordered.

You know what? We
need to get going.

You got to deposit that million
dollar check, right boss?

Yes, I do. I do.

What time do you have?
Yeah, it's time to do that.

Thank you so much.
Really a pleasure.

- Thank you.
- Concierge.

- Adieu.
- Oh.

Oh, you.

Oh man. (laughs)

Insane, you're insane.

- Let me tell you something.
- Bye bye.

[Andy] I am the man
with the golden wing.

[Michael] Oh god!

Andy called me from Canada.

Apparently, he's absolutely
miserable without me.

He didn't expect to
be, but he's having

an absolutely awful
time. (clears throat)

What were you asking?

I can't believe this.
(phone beeping)

Are you sure?

[Pam] I just talked
to my advisor. Failing.

Wow, I thought you
were good at Flash.

I was, and then they
switched to Acrobat

just as I was learning Quark.

I hate computers.

Okay, okay, it's no big deal.

So you're not a computer geek.

I have to stay and retake it.

Wow.

Well, okay.

That means another 12 weeks.

Can you do another
three months of this?

It's not about me. I
mean, this is your dream.

And you went to New
York to do this,

so when you come back, you
come back the right way, right?

Right.

You okay?

My cell battery's low,
so I have to let you go.

- Okay.
- All right.

- All right.
- Love you, bye.

Love you too.

(receiver clattering)

(phone beeps)

that gay action in
Winnipeg is ass-tastic?

Okay, Andy, I
appreciate your support,

but the constant
references to ass.

Let's get a taxi.
No, an ass taxi.

What time is it? Ass o'clock!

- You don't like that?
- Well...

Guys.

She's in there.

Engaging wings.
(imitating machinery)

I'm probably gonna
leave after one drink.

Let's do this.

Yeah, with a hot slab of
Canadian bacon in your hand.

Excuse me, hello.
Concierge Marie.

Michael Scott, good
to see you again.

Good to see you.

This is my associate

from Dunder Mifflin,
Oscar Martinez.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oscar.

Works in accounting.

This is Concierge Marie,

who works at our hotel.

You look, how you
say, radiant tonight.

Thank you.

And it is, how you
say, a beautiful night.

- Michael, why?
- She's foreign. I am-

- For madame et monsieur.
- Oh, thank you.

- You are very welcome.
- Thank you, Andy.

Thank you.

Let me get a
picture of you guys.

Everybody is going to
end up dying someday,

and I think it's better to die

with some people that you like,

like Oscar and Andy
and Concierge Marie,

than to know that there's
somebody out there

that you love that
you're not with.

I don't really
drink a lot of wine.

I'm more of a mimosa man.

When I say wing,
you say man. Wing!

- No.
- Wing!

- No.
- Wing, wing!

- Man.
- Wing. Yes!

All right, I've
scoped out the joint.

Those two dudes are
as good as naked.

How do you even
know they're gay?

Come on, it's Dandy Dale
and Foppy McGee over there.

Mademoiselle, beer me dos
Long Island iced teas,

s'il vous plait.

Bad decision in a glass.

I don't care if you're gay,
straight, engaged, whatever.

A guy needs intercourse.

Going out with Andy's
not my first choice,

but I'm in Winnipeg,
so it's either that

or go outside and
die in a snowdrift.

I'll start out with Andy and
see where the night takes me.

You will thank me
when they spank thee.

Don't do this.

- You guys like apples?
- What?

Do you like apples?

Sorry.

Well, how do you
like these apples?

All right, on a
scale of one to ten,

how hot is that dude?

Is he your boyfriend
or something?

No, but he could be yours,
if you play your cards right.

Dude, leave us
alone, all right?

Gentlemen.

- What are you doing?
- Dude, you struck out.

They're totally stuck
up. Here, drink up.

How about this one?
It's Christmas Eve.

Mm-hm.

And everything is closed,

and you need to get
some dry cleaning done.

12 o'clock midnight, where
do you go? What do you do?

What do you do? Come
on, what do you do?

Astral Cleaners on St.
James Place is the only place

- that is open on that day.
- Unbelievable, unbelievable!

[Oscar] If you
don't mind me asking-

Anything. You can
ask me anything.

- Okay.
- I'm your wingman.

It's just that I've
sat next to Angela

for a very long, very long time.

Right-o.

How can anyone
stand that woman?

What?

What do you see in her?
What do you see in Angela?

- What do I see in Angela?
- I want to know.

I see through a hard exterior

to the little jelly
in the middle.

She is teaching me to
be a better person.

She's working
really hard on that.

And she has the softest
skin I've ever seen,

and I can't wait to
have sex with her.

- You haven't had sex?
- No.

[Oscar] Are you guys
waiting to get married, or?

Honestly, I don't know
what we're waiting for.

Andy, something is
wrong with that woman.

What is wrong with her?

I'd like to know. You
should call her and ask her.

I'd like to know
what's wrong with her.

I should call her and ask
her what is wrong with her.

Do it. It's a, call her.

Oh my god, don't call
her. Don't call her, Andy.

- Andy, don't call her.
- Too late!

- Oh my god!
- Too late. It's dialing.

Now it's ringing.

- Shh.
- Hello? Hello?

What is wrong with you?

- Why won't you do Andy?
- What?

That's Oscar, and he wants
to know why you won't do me,

and I think it's
a valid question.

- Are you drunk?
- This is Andy Bernard.

[Angela] I know who this is.

I want to take
you to sex school.

- What?
- Who is that, monkey?

- Is somebody there?
- Are you drunk?

- I have needs.
- We will discuss this later.

- Naked.
- What?

We'll discuss it later naked.

I want to see you naked.

Do you want to get some
breakfast or something?

- I'm so tired.
- Okay.

(door thuds)

(door clattering)

(door thuds)

Oh, hello, Jim.

Hey, Phyllis.

It must be so painful.

Oh, you heard?

There are no
secrets in this place.

I'm gonna just
head back to work.

- Okay.
- All right.

Oh, hello, Jim.

Thank you.

Oscar.

Hey.

That was fun last night.

Yeah, it was.

You know, it's
true what they say.

Long Island iced teas are
way stronger in Canada.

Hey, thanks for
trying to hook me up.

You kidding me?
That's what I do.

You get the whole
nine nards, all right?

It's fun hanging
out, 'Peg style.

What's the 'Peg?

Winnipeg. (laughs)

- Remember that?
- Yeah.

You know, you're pretty
easy to talk to, man.

Thank you.

It felt good

getting some of that
Angela stuff off my chest.

Well, you know, thanks
for letting me vent, too,

'cause it's a small office, so.

Speaking to the choir.

(phone ringing)

How does everyone
know already?

- Know what?
- Pam failed art school.

Oh, well, doesn't surprise me.

Excuse me?

Have you seen her
painting, Jim? The building?

There're shadows coming from
two different directions.

- Dwight, stop it.
- What? Are there two suns?

- My god.
- Come on.

Last I checked, that's
not an office building

in the Andromeda Galaxy.

All right, I'm gonna
grab a cup of coffee.

It's totally unrealistic.

There's no lines
in the parking lot.

(Oscar chuckling)

I can't believe
we called her up.

(Andy laughing)

- Totally.
- That was crazy.

- Who?
- I'm talking about Angela.

I can't believe we
called her up last night.

- We called Angela?
- You called her.

That was real?

I thought I dreamed
that. Oh god!

- All right.
- Oh god!

- Okay.
- Oscar!

- How did you let me do that?
- It was just a phone call.

You were supposed
to have my wing!

I didn't know that was
part of being the wing.

A wingman is a sports...

It's a sports term
that is bantered around

in the heterosexual community.

A wingman is supposed
to get you laid.

Shh! Okay, all right.

Hold back your
tie when you vomit,

which, by the way,
you also failed to do,

and prevent you
from drunk dialing.

- Okay!
- Oh, that's so bad!

Good morning, Michael. Are
you ready for the meeting?

Slept like a baby.

No no no no no, no. Not at all.

This trip is everything
that I'd hoped it would be.

It keeps getting
better all the time.

In fact, we are about to
take a Canadian taxi ride.

(Kelly moaning)

This can't happen again.

This has to happen again.
Darryl can't happen again.

Look at me. Do you want
me to do more pushups?

Yeah.

Okay. You have to
break up with Darryl.

I already typed out a
text message for you.

All you have to
do is press send.

I don't know, I mean, it's
well written and all, I just...

It has to be done.
We'll press send together.

(phone beeps)

Oh my god, he's gonna kill us.

I'd like to see him try.

(phone chimes)

Oh, he says it's cool.

He said it's cool.

- That's all he wrote?
- That's all he wrote.

- Can I see it?
- Mm-hm.

Didn't you two date
for, like, a long time?

Mm-hm! This is
like a fairytale!

(door creaking)

(car horn honking)

We're back together again, baby.

We're back.

They tried to keep us
apart, but they couldn't.

It was like destiny.

I realized that
for whatever reason,

I just couldn't do
better than Kelly.

Aw!

Yeah.

I'll be honest with you,

we've been talking
with Catalyst Paper.

Their prices are
better than yours.

Look, people continue
to come back to us

time and time again because
they feel cared for here,

they feel respected, and they
feel that their needs matter.

They are treated
like human beings.

Hm.

- Everything okay?
- Yes, yes.

Let's make this work out.

Oh, almost forgot.

(bottle thuds)

Your syrup.

Sorry I don't have
some for everybody.

- Oh man, she is so pissed.
- Mm.

She's taking us
back to first base.

What's first base with Angela?

I get to kiss her forehead.

Am I unattractive?
Am I disgusting?

I thought I was, like, a
reasonably good looking guy.

No, you're okay.

You have a belly and you're
probably the kind of guy

who's gonna have ear
hair when he gets older,

but you have kind
eyes like Elijah Wood.

Thanks.

Hey, you know, you're
the type of dude

where if I was a drug addict

and I needed a fix really bad,

but I didn't have any money,
and you were a drug dealer,

- I would not hesitate-
- Stop. Okay, okay.

No, what I'm saying
is I would actually-

- I get it. Thanks.
- Okay.

- Appreciate it.
- Yeah.

I had a good time
hanging out this weekend.

I had a good time, too.

Wingman for life. WMFL.

Thank you.

- You up for a chest bump?
- No.

Bro hug?

Back to basics. I like it.

I had to go all the way to
Canada to get to know a guy

who sits 20 feet away from
me, and he's delightful.

They say opposites attract,
and Andy is a really good guy,

and Angela is a...

So.

[David] Hey, I just heard
you guys made the sale.

Yeah, we locked
them up for two years.

[David] Good, very good.

See? Told you.

Sounds like somebody
had a good trip.

No. Actually, the trip sucked.

- Excuse me?
- The trip sucked, David.

It blew chunks. It was terrible.

It was a bad trip.

- What are you talking about?
- I did not like the trip.

Well, starting with
the airport shuttle,

which was basically just a van.

- Okay.
- And business class,

which was basically just coach,

and the hotel, which
sucked big time.

- The hotel, okay.
- It was not. It sucked.

[David] I'm sorry to
hear the hotel was bad.

- I pressed for it.
- Oh, and thanks for the tip

on the concierge, that
was great, that was great.

- That was a really good choice.
- Okay, hey hey hey.

Michael, please
listen for a second.

No, David, you listen to me.

Why did you send
her away? That...

God, you knew I liked her

and you just sent
her away, and that...

That was a sucky
thing to do, man.

[David] Michael, sometimes-

That was a really
sucky thing to do.

[David] Sometimes-
(phone clicks)

[Michael] Why have I stayed
at Dunder Mifflin for so long?

Certainly not because
of the paycheck,

because I could be
making more money

as a doctor or a
professional athlete.

I think it's because
they respect me.

A boss that will not fire you

even though you
just tell him off

right to his face over
the phone, that's respect.

You did it, man.

Day one, congrats.

Thanks, man.

(phone ringing)

I'm coming back the wrong way.

It's not because of you.

I don't like graphic
design, that's it.

Stop smiling! I
really didn't like it.

It's just designing logos and
stuff, and I miss Scranton.

But it is not
because I missed you.

I just really
wanted to come home,

and I know you said to
come home the right way,

but you can't tell me
what to do, got it?

- I missed you.
- I missed you too.

You're back.

- Yeah.
- Good.

I need you to make
five copies of these.

I'm not going inside.

All right. First thing
in the morning, then.

This is my project.

Before we start,
how did you fail?

You're good at art. See?

Yeah, we had to make a
logo for a coffee company.

Well, that's nice.

[Pam] This is the
one that got an A.

The teacher handed it out.

- Mm-hm?
- And this is mine.

[Jim] Well, that's cool.

I couldn't get it to print
out right, so I got an F.

I would've given you
a D, but that's only

because you were sleeping
with the professor.

These are cool.

What's this?

That's my sketchbook.

It's just, you know,

stuff I saw in New York,
people on the subway.

Whoa. This is great.

It's so much different
than your other work.

Wow, Pam. That is awesome.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, yes, I
came back for Jim.

(bright upbeat music)