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1
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,095
(bright upbeat music)
2
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,489
[Michael] All right, everybody.
3
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,575
This is your last meal.
So, eat up.
4
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,744
{\an8}(group cheering)
5
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:36,661
{\an8}From this point forward
6
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,121
{\an8}you will not use the bathroom.
7
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,831
We need to keep our
starting weights high,
8
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,332
so we can lose more.
9
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,834
If you need to vomit,
10
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,836
hold it in your mouths
until you exit the scale.
11
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,755
This summer
corporate is sponsoring
12
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,923
{\an8}a little weight loss contest
between the branches.
13
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:52,552
{\an8}Whichever branch
loses the most weight
14
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,180
{\an8}gets three extra vacation days.
15
00:00:55,221 --> 00:01:00,143
{\an8}And our new HR rep, the
lovely, the pretty Holly Flax,
16
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:03,229
{\an8}will end up looking that much
better to corporate.
17
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,357
{\an8}So double edged sword.
18
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,441
{\an8}My dream vacation?
19
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,653
{\an8}I sleep in, putter
around the farm,
20
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,030
{\an8}go fishing for a few hours,
21
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,240
{\an8}take a long run in the forest,
22
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:16,034
{\an8}check the traps.
23
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,703
{\an8}Then the sun comes up
and I head into work,
24
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,663
{\an8}which is empty
because everyone else
25
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,207
{\an8}is out of town on vacation.
26
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,668
Made you a plate.
27
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:25,794
{\an8}Oh, thank you, Dwight.
28
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,003
{\an8}My loyal sidekick.
29
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,213
Have you met my sidekick?
30
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,297
Oh, I didn't...
31
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,841
(laughing)
32
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,426
Very good, very good!
33
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,552
I asked for that.
34
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,554
Have you met Mr. Titty Twister?
35
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,389
Here he is!
36
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,057
- Yeah!
- God!
37
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:39,891
What is wrong with you?
38
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,393
I'm holding food.
39
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,268
I'm sorry.
40
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,398
{\an8}Kevin, you're putting
your spaghetti noodles
41
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,482
{\an8}on your bread.
42
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,316
{\an8}Yeah.
43
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,194
Enough carbohydrates for you?
44
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,532
{\an8}Wow, Kevin, carbohydrates.
45
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:56,449
{\an8}Very cool.
46
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,077
Jim.
47
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,415
{\an8}Do you know what I
would like to right now?
48
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,791
{\an8}What's that?
49
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,501
{\an8}I would like to
take those grapes.
50
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,586
{\an8}And I would like
to go over there,
51
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,588
and feed them to Holly.
52
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,549
Just start popping
'em in her mouth.
53
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,383
Surprise her.
54
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,469
{\an8}Grapes are a very sexy food.
55
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,179
{\an8}- Or bananas.
- Whoa.
56
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,347
Know what?
57
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,016
No sexy, just friends.
58
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,059
Remember what we talked about?
Just like me and Pam.
59
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,269
- Friends first.
- [Jim] Take it slow.
60
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,395
Okay.
61
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,063
'Cause friends don't
go running around
62
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,733
{\an8}popping grapes in
each other's mouths.
63
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,900
Thank you.
64
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,444
Ladies and
gentlemen, chili dogs!
65
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,530
(group cheering)
66
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,324
Angela, could you go to the
kitchen and get more mustard?
67
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:40,577
Today.
68
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,123
Yes, I've replaced Angela
69
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,167
as head of the party
planning committee.
70
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,254
I guess I was just in the
right place at the right time.
71
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,215
It was not what
it looked like.
72
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,594
I had fallen and Dwight
was humping me up,
73
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,262
helping me up.
74
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,973
What should we do with
all these leftovers?
75
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,475
I'm taking the
dumplings for my wife.
76
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,392
No, no, no.
77
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,226
This is your last meal.
78
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,811
There will be no leftovers.
79
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,563
I can bring these
to my shelter.
80
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,231
I'm taking my dumplings.
81
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,358
(spraying can)
82
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,109
There, take those
home to your wife.
83
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,321
(spraying can)
(coughing)
84
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,030
Dwight, Dwight!
85
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,031
Michael, it's time.
86
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,407
My perfect last meal?
87
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,910
Easy, souffle, yummy.
88
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,662
The guard brings it to
me and I scarf it down.
89
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,872
Then I spit out
90
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,459
a razor blade.
91
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,379
Looks like my cousin on
the outside came through.
92
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,505
I knock out the guard,
93
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,673
pull his hair back,
94
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,049
quickly slice his face off,
95
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,884
and pull it over my own.
96
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,095
I head out past
the other guards.
97
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,055
See you later, guys.
98
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,973
I'm going out for a break.
99
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,142
And I waltz on outta death row,
100
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,353
determined to find
the man who framed me.
101
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,480
Hit the scales, everybody.
102
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,691
Right on that black platform.
103
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,943
This way, step it up.
104
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,486
Don't go breaking my scale.
105
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,405
I'm excited to lose
weight for the wedding
106
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,866
because I really want
to have wash board abs
107
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,535
the first time
Angela sees me naked.
108
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,288
Excuse me.
109
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,374
No, I will ex squeeze you.
110
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,459
Okay, everybody.
111
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,461
Get used to this because
we are going to be
112
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,338
standing here briefly
113
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,549
every Monday for the
next seven Mondays.
114
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,425
Wait a minute.
115
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,926
One more bite of eclair each.
116
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,678
Hold it in your mouth
if you can't swallow.
117
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,809
Really, nothing.
118
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,520
2,336 pounds.
119
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,981
Y'all need to learn
some portion control.
120
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,065
Wait a minute.
121
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,692
Pam is on the scale.
122
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,860
Oh Pam cake.
123
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,153
No, no, no.
124
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,446
We would love your
extra poundage,
125
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,239
but you are going to be
leaving us next week.
126
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,365
So vamos!
127
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,285
- Okay.
- Vamos, Pam.
128
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,995
Dunder Mifflin family only.
129
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:47,912
[Dwight] Family only.
130
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,955
All right, got it.
131
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,249
2,210 pounds.
132
00:04:56,921 --> 00:05:00,592
Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?
133
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,926
Almost, Kevin.
134
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,928
Not almost though, Holly.
135
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,097
I mean not, not close to 200.
136
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,599
Math is hard.
137
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,767
Oh yeah.
138
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,185
Just, we'll just keep going.
139
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,438
Okay, can we get
off the scale now?
140
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,191
[Holly] Hey.
141
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,157
Totally gonna slaughter
at the weigh in today.
142
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,408
All I had this weekend to eat
143
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,452
was a chicken breast
and a case of diet Coke.
144
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,870
- Really?
- Yeah.
145
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,705
'Cause I haven't eaten
anything since noon on Friday.
146
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:31,539
Okay.
147
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,292
Stanley, come on.
148
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,210
Oh, I forgot
something in my car.
149
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,086
I'll see you guys up there.
150
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,337
[Oscar] All right.
151
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,468
I happen to be losing weight
on my own for my own reasons.
152
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,969
The truth is,
153
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,971
I have lost a
little of my speed,
154
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,264
a little of my fire.
155
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,974
Here's what I used to look like.
156
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,643
Look at those biceps.
157
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,562
We were fighting the power
and eating whatever we wanted.
158
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,941
And arch your back,
159
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,443
and slowly bring up your head,
160
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,364
and breathe.
161
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,283
And in.
162
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,536
These guys took me out
in their fishing boat.
163
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,622
I don't think I caught anything.
164
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,043
Jimbo.
165
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,671
- Oh, they moved the shower.
- Did you see Holly's butt?
166
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,673
No, I didn't.
167
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:22,507
You know why?
168
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,800
Why?
169
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:24,843
Because most of the
time friends don't talk
170
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,219
about other friends' butts.
171
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,889
Yeah, I know.
172
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,433
But what have you
learned about her?
173
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,185
I learned that she broke her
left leg twice in one year.
174
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,272
I learned that she's
allergic to sesame seeds.
175
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,859
I learned that she has read
Lonesome Dove three times.
176
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,152
Nice.
177
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,196
And that her butt
refuses to quit!
178
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,239
Well, I tried.
179
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,869
You have to, you
have to agree with me.
180
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,871
That's insane! That's insane!
181
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,205
I thought you had to pee?
182
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,207
Michael wanted me to
swap out the junk food.
183
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,585
So, watch and learn.
184
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,504
Presto!
185
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,300
And...
186
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:07,802
Abracadabra.
187
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,596
Crap.
188
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,435
It appears to have
fallen in the machine.
189
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,397
Hey, if you're into yoga,
190
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,733
I take a great Bikram
class in Dixon City.
191
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,650
Oh, thanks.
192
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,610
I should check that out.
193
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,153
Also, and no pressure,
194
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,697
the teacher, he's a catch.
195
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:28,948
Actually, I'm a lesbian.
196
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:29,783
I'm gay!
197
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,202
I'm not a lesbian.
198
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,995
I don't why I said that.
199
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,330
Stupid joke.
200
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,414
What's the joke?
201
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,667
There is no joke.
202
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,921
I just said it because I
haven't had much luck lately,
203
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,673
and I'm not really
looking to date.
204
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,093
So maybe I should
switch to women.
205
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,636
Oh, you think it's a choice?
206
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,475
I'm gonna head back to
my work area and just...
207
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,185
I'm messing with you, Holly.
208
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,604
I knew that.
209
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,647
(giggling)
210
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,107
- Okay, bye.
- Okay.
211
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,902
Holly, don't you
work over there?
212
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,237
- Yes.
- Okay.
213
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,364
See ya.
214
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,661
Open sesame.
215
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,373
(bags crinkling)
216
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,007
- So you have the directions?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,717
- You have a toothbrush?
- Yes.
218
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,677
- You have a cell phone charger?
- I have everything.
219
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,053
Tomorrow I start a three
month design program
220
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,139
at the Pratt
Institute in New York.
221
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,683
I will be a little
fish in the Big Apple.
222
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,519
What up, two one two?
223
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,230
Well, the good news is
if you forget anything,
224
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,899
I can just bring it up
to you this weekend.
225
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,986
Well, I think there's
really only one thing I need.
226
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:48,820
Really?
227
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,990
What's that?
228
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:52,949
More socks.
229
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,867
Ouch.
230
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:54,826
Fax this for me.
231
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,077
Come on, man.
232
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,495
She goes to New York
in like 10 minutes.
233
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,165
It's not gonna take her
10 minutes to fax it, Jim.
234
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,791
If I don't see you
again, goodbye.
235
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,251
Well actually I'll see you
236
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,712
when you give me the fax
confirmation, so nevermind.
237
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,884
Ending the blood type diet.
238
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,135
Who gives a (bleep)?
239
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,136
What'd you say, (bleep)?
240
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,054
Okay, great.
241
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:14,929
I got it.
242
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,772
(candy clattering)
243
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,647
Nice job, Kevin.
244
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,735
(candy clattering)
245
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,821
What?
246
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,783
They're chocolate raisins.
247
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,034
I'm pretty fit,
248
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,370
but in the gay community
249
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,997
there's a lot of
pressure to be ripped.
250
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,040
I got straight abs.
251
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,166
I want gay abs.
252
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,918
Ang!
253
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:49,047
♪ Ella, Ella, Ella, ♪
254
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:54,260
♪ Ella under my Angerella,
Ella, Ella, Ella, eh, eh. ♪
255
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:55,762
What?
256
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,305
Hey, check it out.
257
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,181
This is The Breakers.
258
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,599
Newport, Rhode Island.
259
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,060
Huge, awesome, gorgeous mansion
260
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,603
overlooking the Atlantic.
261
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,439
And my dad went to Cornell
with the current groundskeeper.
262
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,650
Every little boy fantasizes
263
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,486
about his fairytale wedding.
264
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,197
No, no.
265
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,449
This is where my parents
decided not to get divorced.
266
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,243
- I don't care.
- Okay.
267
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,495
How do you feel about Maine?
268
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:23,623
I'm on it.
269
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:25,959
I'll see you later, love.
270
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,564
We done good in
there, half pint.
271
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,107
That was the last
time Dwight, I mean it.
272
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,276
- Monkey.
- No, no!
273
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,944
I have a fiance
I very much like.
274
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,330
Hey, hey!
275
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,924
(moaning)
276
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,806
(moaning)
277
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,433
Pam, Pam!
278
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,977
Hey!
279
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:26,811
What happened?
280
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,229
I wrote you goodbye poem.
281
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,105
It's really long.
282
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:29,898
I left it...
283
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,233
up in my office.
284
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,276
Could you just please
wait till I go get it?
285
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,695
- I should really get going.
- No.
286
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,322
Okay, okay.
287
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:41,034
Um, the last word is seagulls.
288
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,579
- I'm sure it was really lovely.
- I took a lot from other poems.
289
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,915
(car engine starting)
290
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,875
- Call me when you get in.
- Okay.
291
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:49,542
- Bye.
- Bye.
292
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,377
All right, call...
293
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,378
No.
294
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,718
Why haven't I proposed yet?
295
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,428
Actually, Pam and
I talked about it,
296
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,805
and we just decided that,
297
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,182
well we didn't wanna spend
the first three months
298
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,684
of our engagement apart.
299
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,228
And Pam's always said she
doesn't want a long engagement,
300
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,729
something in her past I guess.
301
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,440
I'm not really sure
of the whole story,
302
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,567
but something about a guy
who used to work here.
303
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,278
Hello hello.
304
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,073
Hey, your face is
almost back to normal.
305
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,450
One more kid calls me
Hellboy, I swear to God.
306
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,077
Oh, you wish.
307
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:25,912
Hellboy's a hero.
308
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:26,871
Michael, sit with me.
309
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,001
[Michael] Hey Jim,
over here, sit here.
310
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,961
Probably the weirdest
thing about Pam being gone
311
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,963
will be lunch actually,
312
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,968
but it will force me to become
acquaintances with people
313
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:43,304
I consider coworkers.
314
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,806
Have you been
to the beach yet?
315
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,475
[Toby] Nah, but I'm
going zip lining tomorrow
316
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,979
through the rainforest with this
cool couple
317
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,024
I met at my hotel. The woman's
amazing.
318
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,985
- Hey Oscar, come on, let's go!
- Okay Toby, I gotta go.
319
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,278
[Toby] Is that Michael?
320
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,113
Does he miss me?
(chuckles)
321
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,909
Oscar, are you there? Hello?
322
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,913
(Toby sighs)
323
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,752
Hey, um, my daughter said
324
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,422
you traded her a headband
for her Nintendo DS?
325
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,257
Oh yeah, she
loves that headband.
326
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,383
She's six.
327
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,801
She manipulates you.
328
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,306
Okay, I'm gonna need
you to make this right.
329
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:27,474
Or else we can't be right.
330
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,225
I never know when
you're kidding.
331
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,979
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no.
332
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,272
Same place as last week.
333
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,358
- It doesn't matter, Michael.
- Yes, it does.
334
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,276
No, this is is about
weight displacement.
335
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,820
We have to have the same
weight distribution right here.
336
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:41,738
Here we go.
337
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,532
Let's move that up, here we go.
338
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,825
Fancy meeting you here.
339
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,620
All right.
340
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,663
[Darrell] Okay,
everybody smile.
341
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,043
(camera clicking)
342
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,671
Oh, you lost 31 pounds.
343
00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,423
- (group cheering)
- Yeah!
344
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,716
All right.
345
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,093
I can't believe
I'm saying this
346
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,429
but Michael is actually
killing it with Holly.
347
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,681
And I think I know why.
348
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:11,017
It's because Holly is
kind of a major dork.
349
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,814
♪ I'm empty Mike
Scott and I am hot ♪
350
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,149
♪ She's DJ Sandy Fox
and she is the best ♪
351
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,152
♪ All the sucker branches
gonna suck our fat ♪
352
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,529
♪ Wicka wicka wicka what ♪
353
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,243
(phone ringing)
354
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,204
Dunder Mifflin,
this is Ronnie.
355
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,249
I don't really know Ronnie,
356
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,418
but I have a feeling I will
get to know her very well
357
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,711
over the next few years.
358
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,630
And eventually declare
my love for her.
359
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,135
Sorry, I'm late.
360
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,595
I accidentally switched
my alarm clock setting
361
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,931
to zap chancery,
(students chuckle)
362
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:54,102
which is my terrible
segue into our course,
363
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:57,063
Expressive Typography
in New Media.
364
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,650
I'm in the wrong class.
365
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,694
Some of you may remember
from last semester,
366
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,154
I am Professor Monahan,
367
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:07,073
and looks like I'm
boring someone already.
368
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,867
- No, I just--
- Please sit down.
369
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,831
(coughing)
370
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,629
You're shaking.
371
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,464
Are you all right?
372
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,840
Just leave me alone.
373
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,677
I am on the third day
of my cleanse diet.
374
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,096
All I have to do is
drink maple syrup,
375
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,639
lemon juice, cayenne
pepper and water
376
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,849
for all three meals.
377
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,978
Um I just bought some
bikinis online, size two.
378
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,857
So, gonna look amazing.
379
00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,490
Hi, can I help you?
380
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,657
Need you to make me a
hundred copies of this
381
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,950
on Canary Yellow.
382
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:51,910
- [Kevin] Hey Jan.
- Hi.
383
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,203
How's the candle game?
384
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,704
Oh great, yeah.
385
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,581
Serenity by Jan is
386
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,917
kicking ass and taking names.
(chuckles)
387
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,877
You remember last week when
that girl went missing?
388
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,004
Guess whose candles
they used for the vigil?
389
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,339
Cool.
390
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,216
Thank God they found her, too.
391
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,425
Oh, they found her?
392
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,593
Hey Jan.
393
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,719
Hello baby.
394
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:10,637
How are you?
395
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:11,596
Good to see you.
396
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,847
Who's your daddy?
397
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,099
You don't know who
your daddy is, do you?
398
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,434
Here you go, come on, come on.
399
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,728
When Michael told us
that Jan was pregnant,
400
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,523
he led us to believe
that he was the father,
401
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,567
by telling us that
he was the father.
402
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:25,694
I can't wait to be a father.
403
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,738
I am going to smother that baby.
404
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,740
Then we got this
email from Jan.
405
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,618
Hi everyone, Jan here,
406
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,370
writing to share
some wonderful news
407
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,496
and to quash a rumor.
408
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:39,249
First, the great news. I am expecting.
409
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,001
The beautiful baby
inside me will be ready
410
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,460
to meet the world this fall,
411
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,379
just a few months before
the launch of the new
412
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,797
Serenity by Jan line.
413
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:46,881
Shameless plug, I know.
414
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,508
Don't hate me, LOL.
415
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,886
Anyway, I also wanted to clarify
416
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,556
that the father
is not anyone that
417
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,975
you or I have ever met.
418
00:16:57,017 --> 00:17:00,603
Remember, no matter how excited
someone is about my baby,
419
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,565
it does not make
them the father.
420
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,941
Best, Jan.
421
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,069
P.S., hope to ship
you something soon.
422
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,490
I can't believe
anything you're doing.
423
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,742
It's like nothing's happening.
424
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,952
You know what? I read in one
of those books
425
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:16,953
that you're not even supposed
to give foot massages
426
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,413
because it can induce labor.
427
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:21,541
[Jan] Just stop making
excuses and just dig in there.
428
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,084
I'm digging.
429
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:26,588
Hey Oscar, who's that
woman in Michael's office
430
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,589
with the feet?
431
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,758
That his ex.
432
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,801
Oh, she's very beautiful.
433
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,595
Yeah, she is.
434
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,971
And clinically insane.
435
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,809
So listen, I don't know
if your offer still stands
436
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,102
or whatever,
437
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:44,189
but you can give your
yoga teacher my number.
438
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,940
[Angela] Listen dummy,
it's not that hard!
439
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,984
All you have to do
is take the numbers
440
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,319
from the sales report,
441
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,321
and type them into a
master spreadsheet.
442
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:52,489
A GD monkey could do it.
443
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,449
I do not understand
why you can't do it.
444
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,825
No!
445
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,370
You do not talk
to him like that!
446
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,537
But he's an idiot!
447
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,455
Hey!
448
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,956
He is not an idiot.
449
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:02,957
Thank you, Holly.
450
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,168
He is mentally challenged,
451
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,630
but he's doing a super job here.
452
00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:09,547
Wait, back up.
453
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,344
Do you think that I'm retarded?
454
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,014
Well no.
455
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,141
Dwight...
456
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:24,479
Oh, Holly. That is very offensive.
457
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:25,355
I'm sorry.
458
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,402
Dude.
459
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,073
You talk kind of slow sometimes.
460
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,083
Not now.
461
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,892
Hey.
462
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:07,272
So since my old lady
has such particular,
463
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,857
impossible to perceive taste,
464
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,984
I have made
non-refundable deposits
465
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,737
at four totally different
wedding locales.
466
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,905
Hot air balloons
over Napa Valley.
467
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,783
World famous Walt
Disney's Epcot Center.
468
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,036
Scuba diving wedding
in The Bahamas.
469
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:24,247
And the Wilkesbury
Marriott ballroom sea.
470
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:27,667
Dangerous, tacky,
sharks, haunted.
471
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:28,543
No.
472
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,796
Hurry, we have to make this fast.
473
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,214
Let's do this thing.
474
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,591
Hey!
475
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,677
I have a nice comforter
and several cozy pillows.
476
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,220
I usually read a
chapter of a book,
477
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,181
and it's lights out by 8:30.
478
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,683
That's how I sleep at night.
479
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:44,601
All right.
480
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,145
I am connecting, and...
481
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,065
I can see you!
482
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,233
- All right!
- [Pam] This is so cool!
483
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,778
So, what is going on,
girl in the computer?
484
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,862
Lunch with a
girl from my hall.
485
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:56,738
Uh huh.
486
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,864
Ceramics class.
487
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,574
Then dinner by myself.
488
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,409
I'm gonna watch HGTV
489
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,912
and maybe go to Bungalow
Eight with John Mayer.
490
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,914
Okay, can you turn
the girl off, please.
491
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:06,915
I'm trying to get
some work done.
492
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:07,999
No way, no way!
493
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,751
Pam Beasley!
494
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,002
Hello!
495
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,463
Hey, everybody look, Pam!
496
00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:15,048
Pam, say hi.
497
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,174
(all greet Pam)
498
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,842
Don't we all look skinny?
499
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,135
Ah, ho!
500
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,637
Oh almost dropped you!
501
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,347
[Pam] Can you put me down? I'm
getting a little nauseous.
502
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:25,809
Pam, I wold like
to you meet Ronnie.
503
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,477
We call her Rice a Ronnie.
504
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:28,853
She is hilarious.
505
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,105
She is wonderful.
506
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:35,026
A beam of light in
this dark, dark office.
507
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,821
Not really so much!
508
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,115
All she does is plop
herself down there
509
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,616
and answer phones all day.
510
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:42,909
The nerve.
511
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,327
Oh, calm down, weirdo.
512
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,663
It's a joke. She's such a
weirdo!
513
00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:48,456
You know what my real
beef with her though, Pam,
514
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,459
is that she can't find those
little colored paperclips
515
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:52,794
that I like so much.
516
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:53,712
Would you help her
find them please?
517
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:54,796
They're on the supply shelf.
518
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,297
Let's go.
519
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:59,801
We are following Pam
to the supply shelf.
520
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:01,302
Let us go.
521
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,013
New York is so exciting.
522
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,390
I love my classes. The city's
awesome.
523
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,517
Ummm...
524
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,561
Can you give me back
to Jim now, please?
525
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,356
Okay, we're going
to the supply shelf.
526
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,774
Where again?
527
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,985
On the second shelf behind
the regular paperclips.
528
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,571
Regular paperclips,
and oh, there they are,
529
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,655
there they are!
530
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,198
Thank you very much, Pam.
531
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,409
Look, Stanley, Pam,
she used to work here.
532
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:25,201
Yeah.
533
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,162
Oh, also Mensa over here
534
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,457
can't find the, the
creamsicle juice.
535
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,000
[Pam] Yeah, that's
just whole milk,
536
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,918
orange juice and six
packs of Splenda.
537
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,836
Yes.
538
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:35,962
That sounds terrible.
539
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,339
Oh God, you know what,
540
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,299
Pam, please come back. Please
come back.
541
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,759
Okay, Michael, I have to go.
542
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,344
I have to get to class,
so nice talking with you.
543
00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:44,596
All right, I'll get
your screen name from Jim
544
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:45,722
I'll call you after work.
545
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,392
I think she logged off.
546
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,644
(mocking) No, I don't think
she logged off.
547
00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:52,437
Pam?
548
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,522
(tap tap tap)
549
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,482
Pam?
550
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,401
She logged off.
551
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,242
Obviously Jim and I haven't
worked out all the kinks
552
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:07,702
of I-chatting at the office.
553
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:14,376
Hey, Holly, what's up? How's
it going?
554
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:15,877
Some heat we're having, huh?
555
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,045
I'm so, I'm so embarrassed.
556
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:19,130
No, it's okay. It's okay.
557
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,340
But now that you know
that I'm just like you,
558
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,717
I wonder if maybe we
could go out sometime?
559
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:23,968
Oh, that's so sweet,
560
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,179
but I, I don't think
it's appropriate.
561
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:30,058
Oh,
562
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,101
okay.
563
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,312
Is there nothing in
my file that shows
564
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:36,272
that I have normal intelligence?
565
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:38,525
I'm sorry.
566
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,198
Okay, everybody,
let's suck in our guts.
567
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:50,995
2,184 pounds for a grand...
568
00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:53,289
Oh, you all gained
five pounds back.
569
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:54,874
Dammit, come on!
570
00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,795
Oh my God!
571
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,429
Come on, Bernard.
572
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:09,431
[Michael] Here we
go, everybody on.
573
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:10,265
All right, we're set.
574
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,141
Still good.
575
00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:12,225
You guys lost a pound.
576
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,770
You lost one pound.
577
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:18,773
I was on an IV for two
days at the hospital.
578
00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:20,400
I don't know if I
can do this anymore.
579
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:23,403
I can't remember a time
when I wasn't hungry.
580
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:24,904
I lost four pounds.
581
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,781
I don't know what those
other fools were doing,
582
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,533
but I lost four pounds.
583
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,452
Angela, you'll go
to the supermarket
584
00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:32,203
and get the New York cheesecake.
585
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:34,205
Make sure it's the generic one.
586
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,790
It's Stanley's favorite.
587
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,668
Hey, party playing committee
588
00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:41,046
You down with PPC?
589
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,255
Yeah you know me.
590
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:43,965
Who's down with PPC?
591
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:45,175
I am.
592
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:46,301
Me too.
593
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:47,427
(chuckling)
594
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:48,303
How's it going?
595
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:49,721
Oh, it's going well.
596
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:50,805
[Michael] Good.
597
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,223
I have a crazy idea.
598
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:55,352
What if we did fruit
instead of cake?
599
00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,354
Cake, who suggested cake?
600
00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,065
We lost weight today.
601
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,942
I think it's okay to reward
ourselves once in a while.
602
00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,361
Are you kidding me?
603
00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:06,154
We only lost one pound, Phyllis.
604
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:07,447
Hardly a victory.
605
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,911
But it was a
victory, nonetheless.
606
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,080
All right then, its settled.
607
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,039
Cake it is.
608
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:17,457
Okay, all right.
609
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:18,667
I've had enough of this.
610
00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:21,169
Everybody, come on,
conference room,
611
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,254
get your fat asses
in here right now.
612
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:25,590
What is wrong with these people?
613
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:27,008
They have no willpower.
614
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:32,055
I went, I once went 28
years without having sex.
615
00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:37,310
And then again for seven years.
616
00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:41,022
(door slamming)
617
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,524
I am very pissed at you guys.
618
00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:49,781
Has anyone seen the
Dark Knight yet?
619
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:51,282
Yes.
620
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:53,493
The character in the
Dark Knight wears makeup.
621
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,495
Really evil guy, the Joker.
622
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,080
Why so serious?
623
00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:58,832
You know who
I'm talking about.
624
00:24:58,873 --> 00:25:00,458
That's who you remind
me of right now.
625
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,252
You guys are jerks.
626
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,045
Wow, harsh.
627
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:06,006
Does anyone have any idea
628
00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:09,801
what the number one cause
of death is in this country?
629
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:10,593
Shotgun weddings.
630
00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:11,594
That's not what that is.
631
00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:13,138
Fright, being scared to death.
632
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,764
No.
633
00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:16,391
- Obesity caused illnesses.
- Obesity caused illnesses.
634
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:17,892
Thank you, Holly is right.
635
00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:21,146
People, this is not
just about winning
636
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,480
some extra vacation days.
637
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:26,443
This is about a very
cool HR initiative
638
00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:28,570
that if we don't follow,
639
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:31,489
we are all going
to die of obesity.
640
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,658
I have a complicated
relationship with obesity.
641
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:36,161
My cousin Abner was
extremely overweight.
642
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:38,163
He rarely left his sofa.
643
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:39,706
Then he got a television,
644
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:43,626
and never left his
sofa ever again.
645
00:25:43,668 --> 00:25:45,920
After six years of
sitting in the same spot,
646
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:50,717
his skin began to literally
fuse with the couch fabric,
647
00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:53,928
rendering him half
man and half sofa.
648
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:58,933
He was the closest thing to
a superhero I've ever known.
649
00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:01,186
So how much are we gonna lose?
650
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:03,021
I would like to
lose 65 pounds.
651
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,564
Yes, all right!
652
00:26:04,606 --> 00:26:06,733
All who else, Angela?
653
00:26:06,775 --> 00:26:08,026
Can I put you down
for 10 pounds?
654
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:10,362
No, my doctor wants
me to gain weight.
655
00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:12,197
If you gain
weight, you will die.
656
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,323
I want you to live forever.
657
00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:15,241
I want us all to live forever.
658
00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:16,576
How, how are we gonna do this?
659
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,453
Cryogenics, spare me five.
660
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:20,914
This is how we're gonna do it.
661
00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:22,123
Five pounds.
662
00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:23,875
I'm asking each of you
to lose five pounds.
663
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:26,878
That, plus Jim's 65
664
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,422
will give us a very good
chance at winning this thing.
665
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:31,716
Well what about
Stanley's birthday cake?
666
00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:34,344
We're giving him a
much more important gift.
667
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:35,845
The gift of everlasting life.
668
00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:42,060
Look what just arrived
from the Nashua branch.
669
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:47,816
Here's something to enjoy on
your three non vacation days.
670
00:26:47,857 --> 00:26:49,609
Nashua Branch.
671
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,403
Can I send them a dead deer?
672
00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:53,071
No, you know what
we're gonna do?
673
00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,280
We're going to take that,
674
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:55,949
and we are going to
use it as a reward
675
00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:58,451
at the end of our competition.
676
00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,453
Classy.
677
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,501
- (door knock)
- All right, I'm taking off.
678
00:27:06,543 --> 00:27:07,502
Booty call.
679
00:27:07,544 --> 00:27:08,753
Nope, just going to see Pam.
680
00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:10,213
Apparently, put up some shelves.
681
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:10,964
Wait a second.
682
00:27:12,632 --> 00:27:16,302
I don't want you to end up
with a surprise pregnancy
683
00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:17,637
like me.
684
00:27:17,679 --> 00:27:20,265
Okay, thank you for this.
685
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:21,224
[Michael] You want more?
686
00:27:21,266 --> 00:27:22,017
[Jim] No.
687
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:25,311
I don't know if
there's any one place
688
00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:28,106
that has all these things.
689
00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,399
It's not my problem.
690
00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:30,608
A thousand year old church
691
00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:32,569
in the continental
United States.
692
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:34,446
There has to be a rainbow.
693
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:36,573
24 hour veterinarian on call.
694
00:27:36,614 --> 00:27:38,283
That is very important to me.
695
00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:40,118
So I have work to do.
696
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:40,910
Just do it.
697
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,163
Sweetheart.
698
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:48,793
Just so you know, I don't
care where we get married.
699
00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:51,212
I'll marry you right
here in this building.
700
00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:52,672
I'll marry you in
the parking lot.
701
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:55,133
I'll marry you in the
eye of a hurricane,
702
00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:57,010
in the middle of a snowstorm,
703
00:27:57,052 --> 00:27:58,803
on top of a monsoon.
704
00:28:02,057 --> 00:28:03,558
All I care about
705
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,727
is that we're gonna spend the
rest of our lives together.
706
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:14,652
Hey oh!
707
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:16,738
I know I haven't
made this easy on you.
708
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:38,343
(knocking on door)
709
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:39,636
- [Jim] Hi.
- Hi.
710
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:48,853
Oh, it's so rude of me.
711
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,940
Have you seen Pam's new art?
712
00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:54,442
It's right there. Check it out.
713
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:57,112
(door slamming)
714
00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:06,830
♪ Just when I'm about
to get myself together ♪
715
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:09,541
♪ You waltz right in the door ♪
716
00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:11,710
That's a pretty lame party.
717
00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:13,294
Does anyone wanna dance?
718
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:19,884
♪ Here you come again ♪
719
00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:27,726
Some girl came into Pam's room
720
00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:31,021
crying about her roommate
stealing her soy milk.
721
00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:34,691
So, I'm in here waiting it out.
722
00:29:34,733 --> 00:29:36,026
Stanley, Michael's not here.
723
00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:38,236
You can eat a slice
of your birthday cake.
724
00:29:38,278 --> 00:29:40,071
I don't like cake anymore.
725
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:41,489
Why not, dog?
726
00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:42,741
Tastes changed.
727
00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:45,243
Now all I like is baklava.
728
00:29:46,494 --> 00:29:48,246
Michael, we have a situation.
729
00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:54,586
They should not be in that room.
730
00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:56,338
That's so lame they
didn't invite us.
731
00:29:56,379 --> 00:29:57,589
You know what we should do?
732
00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,007
We should have a party
and not invite them.
733
00:29:59,049 --> 00:29:59,716
Yeah.
734
00:29:59,758 --> 00:30:00,800
Let's go mini golfing.
735
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:03,094
Yeah?
736
00:30:03,136 --> 00:30:05,805
Oh, hey, could I have a
rain check on the mini golf?
737
00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:08,641
I actually have a date tonight.
738
00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:15,357
It'll probably be a
total disaster, but...
739
00:30:15,398 --> 00:30:17,984
I think you'll
have fun because
740
00:30:18,026 --> 00:30:20,153
men from Scranton are handsome,
741
00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,781
and they know how to
show women a good time.
742
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,324
Not that guy who
murdered his mother.
743
00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:25,742
He was not so handsome.
744
00:30:27,077 --> 00:30:28,286
Also Kevin.
745
00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:29,496
You know what?
746
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,747
We're pretty much
done here today.
747
00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:31,790
Why don't you just
take off early?
748
00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:32,582
- [Holly] Really?
- Yeah.
749
00:30:32,624 --> 00:30:34,042
Oh, that's sweet.
750
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,418
Wish me luck.
751
00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:36,211
Good luck.
752
00:30:37,629 --> 00:30:38,838
Oh Holly doesn't need luck.
753
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,466
Everyone that meets her
instantly loves her.
754
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:43,134
Party's over!
755
00:30:43,176 --> 00:30:44,594
You're so busted!
756
00:30:44,636 --> 00:30:46,554
Okay everybody.
757
00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:48,765
Well, you know what
this reminds me of?
758
00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:51,559
Lord of the Rings.
759
00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:53,687
Everyone just starts
acting like animals.
760
00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:57,649
Phyllis, did I, or
did I not say fruit?
761
00:30:57,691 --> 00:30:58,650
You said fruit, Michael.
762
00:30:58,692 --> 00:31:00,443
And what is that?
763
00:31:00,485 --> 00:31:02,028
Cake.
764
00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:03,571
You know, we're gonna have
to try a little bit harder
765
00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:06,199
if we are going
to win this thing.
766
00:31:06,241 --> 00:31:07,867
[Dwight] Happy birthday,
Stanley!
767
00:31:20,755 --> 00:31:21,840
What?
768
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:22,882
Oh, nothing.
769
00:31:24,426 --> 00:31:26,136
It's just, some of us are
taking this really seriously.
770
00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:28,221
I swallowed at a
tapeworm last night.
771
00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:30,348
It's going to grow up to
three feet inside of me,
772
00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:32,976
and then it eats all my food
so that I don't get fat.
773
00:31:33,018 --> 00:31:34,227
And then after three months
774
00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:36,563
I take some medicine
and then I pass it.
775
00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:38,440
Creed sold it to me.
776
00:31:38,481 --> 00:31:39,983
It's from Mexico.
777
00:31:40,025 --> 00:31:42,444
That wasn't a tapeworm.
778
00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:45,572
(bright upbeat music)
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