Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,143
This is ridiculous.
2
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:20,145
Do you have any idea what
time we'll get out of here?
3
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,605
I don't know, Phyllis.
I'm upset about it, too.
4
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,899
I had tickets to see Tom Petty.
5
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,276
Yeah, well Friday
nights are the nights
6
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,736
that I pick out my outfits
for Saturday nights.
7
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:31,156
Well, I had to give the
tickets to my ex-wife
8
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,032
and her boyfriend.
9
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:37,203
Took a big loss. Not
that anybody cares.
10
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,248
There's a perception out
there that working in the paper
11
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,000
industry is glamorous.
12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,169
But here's what the
media doesn't show you.
13
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,921
Sometimes we have to stay
late on a Friday night.
14
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,633
Did I just blow your mind?
15
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:51,384
This sucks.
16
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,348
Nobody likes to work late.
17
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,349
Least of all me.
18
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,269
You have plans tonight?
19
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,604
Nope, I don't.
Remember when you told us
20
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:03,980
not to make plans
because we were working?
21
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,024
Yes, I remember.
22
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,779
Mm, this is B.S. This
is B.S. Why are we here?
23
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,489
I am going to call corporate.
24
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,782
Enough is enough.
25
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:16,117
I'm... God, I'm so mad!
26
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,661
This is Michael Scott, Scranton.
27
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,246
Well, we don't want to work.
28
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,915
No, we don't!
29
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,958
It's not fair to these people!
30
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,712
These people are my friends
and I care about them!
31
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,255
We're not going to do it.
32
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,219
Everybody, I just got off
the horn with corporate,
33
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,639
and basically I told
them where they could
34
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,891
stick their little
overtime assignment.
35
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,184
Where's that?
36
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,435
Where the sun
don't shine, Jim!
37
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,395
(Meredith laughs)
38
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:44,396
But we just ordered pizza.
39
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,064
So they just canceled it?
40
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,315
Yeah.
41
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:48,566
Did they say why?
42
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,484
No. You never know
with these clowns so...
43
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,778
So do we pick it up on Monday?
44
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,447
You know what that's,
that doesn't even matter.
45
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,409
Don't even worry about it.
This is my gift to you.
46
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,993
Okay? Go enjoy your Friday.
47
00:01:59,035 --> 00:01:59,828
Thank you, Michael.
48
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,371
Alright.
49
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,914
(clapping)
50
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,915
Happy Friday. Well, I think
we dodged a bullet there.
51
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,333
I think you did.
52
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,127
I think we should
celebrate. How about you, Pam,
53
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,212
mi casa, little dinner,
dancing, drinks?
54
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,255
I-
55
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,423
You said you
didn't have plans.
56
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,884
That's what you said.
57
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,807
Michael has asked
Pam and me to dinner
58
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,351
at least nine times.
59
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,895
And every time, we've been
able to get out of it.
60
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,732
But I got to give him credit.
61
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,566
He got me.
62
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,861
Because I'm starting to
suspect that there was
63
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,113
no assignment from Corporate.
64
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,448
Michael.
65
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,699
[Michael] Hm?
66
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:38,616
What time should
I be arriving?
67
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:39,784
Dwight, it's couples only.
68
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,786
And besides I only
have six wine glasses.
69
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,706
So it will be me and
Jan and Pam and Jim.
70
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,833
And Angela and Andy.
71
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,294
(Andy shouts)
72
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,588
Michael, it is really
hard when you mess with
73
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:55,300
the schedule like that. I
had tickets to see Tom Petty.
74
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,261
Hmm. Well I'm sure
the Heartbreakers will be heartbroken.
75
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,514
No one even heard me.
76
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,768
Does it bother me
that I wasn't invited
77
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,102
to Michael's dinner party?
78
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,025
(Dwight breathing heavily)
79
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:13,860
(Dwight cries)
80
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,030
(upbeat rock music)
81
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,978
We can turn back.
It's not too late.
82
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,313
We eat and we're out.
83
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,817
We have to wake
up early tomorrow.
84
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:57,570
{\an8}Yes, because it is Saturday.
85
00:03:58,947 --> 00:03:59,864
[Jan] Hi!
86
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,990
[Michael] Hello!
87
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,075
[Jan] How are you?
88
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,284
[Michael] Come on in.
89
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:03,993
Good to see you.
90
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,537
{\an8}[Jan] Chilly, huh?
91
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,540
{\an8}I'm so glad we finally got
to do this with you guys.
92
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,041
{\an8}This is great.
93
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,669
{\an8}You want to, you want
to take their coats, babe?
94
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,545
{\an8}Yes, I would.
95
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,462
{\an8}Okay.
96
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,380
{\an8}Alright, thank you.
97
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,048
{\an8}So, what have you been doing?
98
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,633
{\an8}Let's see, since I
saw you an hour ago?
99
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,218
{\an8}Yeah.
100
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,053
{\an8}I have been getting ready
and then driving over here so-
101
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,222
{\an8}Well, we've been doing
pretty much the same thing.
102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,390
{\an8}Really?
103
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,307
{\an8}Except driving.
104
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,560
{\an8}(Group laughs) -
We got you this.
105
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,480
- Oh Pam, thank you!
- Oh, Pinot. Thanks.
106
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,440
This will be
great to cook with.
107
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:34,941
Really?
108
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,235
Well have a seat or come
on in or I don't know,
109
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,155
make yourself to home.
This is our casa.
110
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,114
[Pam] Really nice.
111
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,073
{\an8}So what do you guys think?
112
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,241
{\an8}Should we do the tour first?
113
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,325
{\an8}Should we have appetizers first?
114
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,660
{\an8}Tour. Let's do the tour first.
115
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,995
{\an8}Okay.
116
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,580
You have a preference,
babe? Upstairs first?
117
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,081
Totally your call, babe.
118
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,625
Alright, well, let's go
then. Let's sneak upstairs.
119
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,210
Oh.
120
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,004
{\an8}Oh, you guys doing
a little construction?
121
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,214
Oh, just redoing the
sliding glass door.
122
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,176
{\an8}Yeah. So sorry about
this God-awful carpet.
123
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,927
{\an8}We are still a work
in progress here.
124
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,554
{\an8}Well, that's-
125
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,930
[Pam] Do you like
living in Scranton, Jan?
126
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,307
Well, you know, it's,
it's an adjustment.
127
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,018
It's certainly not
the Upper West Side.
128
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,269
{\an8}You really haven't
given it a chance, though.
129
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,229
{\an8}She's never been to
the Anthracite Museum.
130
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,273
{\an8}She hasn't had a hot dog
at the new hot dog place.
131
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,858
{\an8}Oh well, babe,
I'm pacing myself.
132
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,234
[Michael] So-
133
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,694
[Jan] (laughs) Follow me.
134
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:24,157
This is pictures of Jan
wearing different masks.
135
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,035
Call that Mask Wall.
136
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:30,872
{\an8}Jan and I are like one
of the all-time great
137
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,332
{\an8}romantic comedy couples.
138
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,834
Like "When Harry Met Sally".
139
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,671
I'm Harry and she is Sally.
140
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,548
Like "Annie Hall".
141
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,549
I am Woody Allen.
142
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:47,097
And she is Diane Keaton's
character in "Annie Hall".
143
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:51,935
This is my office.
144
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,812
Yep, never been used.
145
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:54,979
Not super exciting.
146
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:55,939
No.
147
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,273
This is my workspace.
148
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,276
This is it. Check that
out. You smell that?
149
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,445
As you can smell, there's
a lot of different odors
150
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,988
going on in here.
151
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,532
So you have an
office and a workspace?
152
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,242
I do. You know, I
just, I cannot create
153
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,495
in the same space that
I conduct business.
154
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,331
I'm sure that you're the same
with your doodles. Smell.
155
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:15,792
It's fire.
156
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:16,835
Uh-huh, Bond-fire.
157
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,294
Bond-
158
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,379
- Men love this one, yeah.
- James Bond-fire.
159
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,841
I'm Bond-fire, James Bond-fire.
160
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:23,675
Michael Scott!
161
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:29,639
When I get frustrated
or irritated or angry,
162
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,850
I come up here and I just
smell all my candles.
163
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,477
And it just, "Poof!" goes away.
164
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,228
Just like that.
165
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,354
[Jan] Just like that.
166
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,522
It's been a rough
couple of weeks.
167
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,941
Well. I just got
into a little trouble
168
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,151
with the neighbors.
169
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,694
(laughs) A little
trouble. Yes.
170
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,947
Well, Jan fell asleep during
her neighborhood watch shift.
171
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,198
Wow, you do
neighborhood watch?
172
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,533
[Michael] Yes.
173
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,368
I did. And I had
a very late shift
174
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,455
and I had a little bit of
wine and I fell asleep.
175
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,541
So she passed out and
some kids spray paint
176
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,002
a swear word on
the neighbors' dog
177
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,879
and the neighbors blamed Jan.
178
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,049
Yeah. But you know,
it was my fault.
179
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,633
It's like, you know,
180
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,302
the dog shouldn't have been
outside in the first place.
181
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,845
Anyway. It's a tragedy, really,
182
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,681
because the paint is not going
to come off the dog until it
183
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,016
sheds, so-
184
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:13,850
Mm-hm, yeah.
185
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,771
These are going to
be party favors later.
186
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,564
Get them as you go out.
187
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,231
(Jim coughs)
188
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,524
When we're done,
189
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,734
Oh we'll have a
whole box of them.
190
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,570
Close that so we don't
have to smell it.
191
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:29,074
So this is the master
bedroom and these walls,
192
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,242
they used to be like
white, like an asylum.
193
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,619
So I wanted it to be softer.
194
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,245
So I had it painted
an eggshell white.
195
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,748
Guess what? White and
eggshell white are exactly
196
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,957
the same color.
197
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,459
- (laughs) Exactly.
- Babe.
198
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,961
I thought you said you you
were going to tidy things up.
199
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,630
Well, I-
200
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,216
Shame on you. (laughs)
201
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,219
What a cute bench.
202
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,679
[Michael] Thanks.
That's my bed.
203
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,474
Jan has some space issues,
so I curl up on that puppy.
204
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,769
Really? Because it
seems pretty narrow.
205
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,104
And short.
206
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,064
It's actually a lot
bigger than it seems.
207
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,232
Look at this (grunts).
208
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:05,819
See? He fits
perfectly. (laughs)
209
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:12,200
I finally broke
down and bought myself
210
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,537
a plasma TV.
211
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,705
Check it out.
212
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,207
I actually hung this
on the wall myself.
213
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,458
That's good.
214
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,876
I want to show you something.
215
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,004
A lot of people in the
room, you need more space?
216
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,089
Voila. Right into the wall.
217
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,674
Wow.
218
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:30,719
Sometimes I will just stand
here and watch television for
219
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,345
hours. I love it.
220
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,973
I love this TV.
221
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:38,059
Oh! And I also built this table.
222
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,477
What is that? Chestnut?
223
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,646
No, I think that is either
pine or Nordic Cherry.
224
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,981
It's pine. Yeah.
225
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:43,982
Michael, I'm just
terrible at all this stuff.
226
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:44,774
So it's really cool.
227
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:45,650
Really?
228
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,860
[Jim] Yeah.
229
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,570
Yeah, he tried to
set up my TiVo for me,
230
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,572
but then I didn't
have audio for a week.
231
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:51,406
(Jane laughs)
232
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,323
If you ever need any help,
233
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,700
I am just a phone call away.
234
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,452
I bet you are.
235
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,830
Well, I saw-
236
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,331
Oh! Your Dundies.
237
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,708
I'm surprised they're not
out on the coffee table
238
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,876
for everybody to see.
239
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,338
Well, it was between
the neon beer sign
240
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,216
and the Dundies. So I said,
"Honey, keep the trophies."
241
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,887
Oh. Honey, I have the
best trophy right here.
242
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:14,846
Aww.
243
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,764
Aside from my Dundies.
244
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,098
[Jan] Oh. (laughs)
245
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,016
(doorbell rings)
246
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,309
- Uh-oh.
- I'll get it.
247
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,477
Oh, excuse us
for just a second.
248
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,687
So glad we were
finally able to do this.
249
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,521
So glad.
250
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,731
No. No.
251
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,523
We- okay.
252
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,400
Tuna! What's up tuna?
253
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,569
We going to have some
tuna for dinner? (laughs)
254
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,029
I bet you're sick
of tuna. Right?
255
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,072
Probably have tuna every night.
256
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:32,947
Alright.
257
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,699
Tuna.
258
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:35,909
These are for you.
259
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,035
Oh, how thoughtful.
260
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,370
Very nice.
261
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,165
Except for one flower,
which is for my flower.
262
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,416
[Jan] Aww.
263
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,043
What am I supposed
to do with this?
264
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,294
(Jan laughs)
265
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,462
[Michael] Oh,
let me take this.
266
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,380
Well, how about
we do the short tour
267
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,839
and then I'll start dinner?
268
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,883
Oh, I can help starting
dinner if you need it.
269
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,426
Oh no, no, no.
270
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:54,386
Just the osso buco needs to
braise for about three hours.
271
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,679
Everything else is done.
272
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,306
Three hours from
now or three hours
273
00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,849
from earlier, like four o'clock?
274
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,602
You know, Pam, in
Spain, they often don't
275
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,854
even start eating
until midnight.
276
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:05,689
When in Rome.
277
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,733
[Jan] You have a
preference? Upstairs first?
278
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:09,818
[Michael] Whatever
you say, babe.
279
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,069
[Jan] follow me.
280
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,451
Food!
281
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,494
Okay, trivia!
282
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,662
Does anyone know
what that means?
283
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,956
I believe it
means mouth pleaser.
284
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,249
Oh.
285
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,458
It's French. I
studied some French
286
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,752
during my semester at
sea or shall I say,
287
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,839
a semester at la mer,
which is French for sea.
288
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,091
Andy, was that coordinated
by the Cornell Study Abroad
289
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,009
Office?
290
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,510
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
291
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,304
The reason I ask is
that Andy went to Cornell.
292
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,557
(toilet flushes)
293
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,683
Did you wash your hands, babe?
294
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,810
Yes. I did. For you, princess.
295
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,311
Even though I only
went number one.
296
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,521
(Jan laughs)
297
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,939
I didn't really wash my hands.
298
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,482
Oh, what have we here?
299
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:52,318
This looks delicious.
300
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,695
Not with your hands.
301
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:57,407
They need to be
presented royally. Anyone?
302
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,120
Good stuff.
303
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,706
Alright. How about we
just drink some wine?
304
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,001
God. Okay.
305
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:08,835
How about a toast?
306
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,963
Here's to good friends.
307
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,715
[Group] Cheers.
308
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:21,389
Mm. Ah, now that
is reminiscent.
309
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,432
Of what?
310
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,976
Old grapes.
311
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,442
Got a sort of an
oaky afterbirth.
312
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,278
What was that?
313
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,738
So, music?
314
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,073
- Should we turn some music?
- Uh,
315
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,699
- that sounds good.
- Okay.
316
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:43,203
Do you guys remember my
old assistant, Hunter?
317
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,997
He is an excellent songwriter.
Wait until you hear this.
318
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,750
Okay, here we go.
319
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:55,590
♪ You took me by the hand ♪
320
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,677
♪ Made me a man ♪
321
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,513
♪ That one night, one night ♪
322
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:05,433
♪ You made everything alright ♪
323
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,977
(Andy singing)
324
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:11,981
♪ So raw, so right,
all night, alright ♪
325
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:16,736
♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪
326
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,490
♪ So raw, so right,
all night, alright ♪
327
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,784
♪ Oh yeah ♪
328
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,664
You know what? Hunter
was a terrible assistant.
329
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,249
That is why Ryan fired him.
330
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,583
Well, I think he's probably
just about as reliable
331
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:31,835
as Pam being that
it usually takes you
332
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,878
an afternoon to get back to me.
333
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,088
Yeah.
334
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,673
Sometimes I think
she holds onto faxes.
335
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,510
I don't care what
they say about me.
336
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,720
I just want to eat.
337
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:47,642
Which I realize is a lot to
ask for, at a dinner party.
338
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,437
Oh my God. I thought I
was going to pass out.
339
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,938
We should probably get back.
340
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,481
Uh-uh, I'm just going
to stay here for a while.
341
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:54,315
Say I got lost.
342
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,734
Are you eating?
343
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,444
It was just a little.
344
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,695
I didn't have anything, Jan.
345
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,741
Really, Pam? This
is a dinner party.
346
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,663
I'm sorry. She scares me.
347
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,709
Cow!
348
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:15,503
No, it's a hump.
There's a hump.
349
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,504
Joe Camel! Joe Camel!
350
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,547
Yes!
351
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:18,506
- Okay, yes!
- No, no, no!
352
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,466
First name of that animal.
353
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,800
And the second name is the state
354
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,844
where Helena is the capital.
355
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,012
Montana.
356
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:24,679
[Jan] Oh!
357
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,805
Joe Montana?
358
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:26,681
Yes!
359
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:27,557
(Group claps and cheers)
360
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:28,600
Time, time, time.
361
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,934
Two pieces.
362
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:30,810
Why didn't you just
say 49ers Quarterback?
363
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,937
Alright, my, my, my, my turn.
364
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:33,646
(clapping)
365
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,106
My, my, my, my turn.
366
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,983
My, my, my, my turn.
367
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,651
Babe, can you
just like really-
368
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,861
Whoa.
(Michael laughs)
369
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,279
You're just like really-
370
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,447
- hyped up.
- What? What?
371
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,782
Can you just simmer
down? Seriously.
372
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,908
No, I'm just
making people laugh.
373
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:45,909
[Jan] No.
374
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,786
Yes. I was
watching Jim's face-
375
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,329
[Jan] I was watching Jim and-
376
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,330
and he was laughing.
377
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,831
No smile.
378
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,376
Look at him. He's laughing.
379
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,836
Michael and Jan
seem to be playing
380
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,005
their own separate
game and it's called,
381
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:02,217
"Let's see how uncomfortable
we can make our guests."
382
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,343
And they're both winning.
383
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,096
So I am going to
make a run for it.
384
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,016
You'll never guess, I just got
a message from my landlord.
385
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,102
Apparently my apartment flooded.
Something with a sprinkler.
386
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,561
[Jan] Oh no!
387
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,147
Pam. We should probably
get going and see the damage.
388
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,441
Oh. Okay.
389
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,150
You don't need two
of you to do that.
390
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,363
That's true.
391
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,616
Dinner sounded delicious.
392
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,867
Pam, I'll see you at home.
393
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,035
Thank you so much.
It was a great night.
394
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,245
Oh, Jim. I don't
think you're going
395
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,913
to abandon this party
here all by itself.
396
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,915
I don't know because
everything I own is there.
397
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,960
You can buy new stuff, but
you can't buy a new party.
398
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,421
That's true. That
is a great point.
399
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,880
Come on down here.
400
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,886
Sit down on that couch
and be amongst friends.
401
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,680
And we're not going to
think about all your stuff
402
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,682
being destroyed, alright?
403
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,683
[Andy] Michael, you're up!
404
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,726
[Michael] Alright, here we go.
405
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,102
This is going to be fun. Ready?
406
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:54,978
[Andy] Go!
407
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,604
Alright. First name is Tom.
408
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,522
No, no, no!
409
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,940
And he goes on a-
410
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,066
No names! No names. No
rhyming. No sound-alikes.
411
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,735
You actually
have to give clues.
412
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:02,986
Alright, alright. Okay!
You're getting into my head!
413
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,362
First name is blank and
he goes on a cruise.
414
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,448
He goes on a Caribbean cruise.
415
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,323
I don't know.
416
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,283
Katie Holmes.
417
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,200
No! (yells)
418
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,160
But he's married to her.
419
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,369
Oh, Dawson's Creek.
420
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,121
= No! No. It has to
be a real person, Jim.
421
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:13,955
Come on!
422
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,125
I'm gonna pass. I'm gonna pass.
423
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,668
Oh, okay!
424
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,587
Rhymes with Parnold Schparzenegger.
425
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,172
No rhyming!
426
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,715
Not really a rhyme.
427
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:24,883
Another clue, another clue!
428
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,968
Okay. He's the
governor of California.
429
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,678
He is the Terminator.
430
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,596
Those aren't helpful.
431
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:30,472
Tom Cruise!
432
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:31,306
No!
433
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,307
Time!
434
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,892
Does anybody read the paper?
435
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,103
Oh.
436
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,317
Michael's dinner party
is for couples only,
437
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,819
which is why I wasn't
initially invited.
438
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,196
But that was then.
439
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,823
I very recently
entered into a serious
440
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:52,243
monogamous relationship, if
that idiot ever gets here.
441
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,040
(jazz music playing)
442
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,129
Oh, thank you.
443
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,381
You're welcome.
444
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,019
I'm so, so sorry for
the temperature in here.
445
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,858
The sliding glass
door shattered so-
446
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,984
It's okay.
447
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,405
It's actually a
really cute story.
448
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,782
Do you want to tell it,
babe? Or should I tell it?
449
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:31,783
I don't like that story, babe.
450
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,326
Come on. It's a cute story.
451
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:37,163
Michael ran through
the sliding glass door
452
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,708
because he thought he heard
the ice cream truck (laughs).
453
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:43,461
Stop! Stop it. I
mean, I like ice cream.
454
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:47,132
Okay? Sue me. Oh, nope. Don't.
455
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,051
I shouldn't say that jokingly
because she will sue me.
456
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,805
She loves to sue.
She loves lawsuits.
457
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,306
You know, honey,
458
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,977
that door was extremely clean
and it looked invisible.
459
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,895
You are so right.
You are so right.
460
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,188
Because before I lived here,
461
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,649
the glass was always
covered in smudges.
462
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,067
And then I moved in
and I cleaned it.
463
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,569
So I guess that
makes me the devil.
464
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,155
Oh, (laughs) you are!
465
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,072
(Jan laughs)
466
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,240
She is! She is the devil!
467
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,577
I'm in hell. I'm
burning, help me.
468
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,911
You shouldn't joke about that.
469
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:17,954
Is there more wine
than the kitchen?
470
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,497
I will get it. I will get it.
471
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,708
What kind of hostess
would I be if I didn't-
472
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:22,876
- That's okay. I don't mind.
- No, no, no.
473
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,586
In fact, you know
what? Girls' trip.
474
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,796
Angela, come on. Girls' trip.
475
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,801
Not even close.
476
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,471
So you keep a very tidy house.
477
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,848
You should see our bathroom
after Michael takes a bath.
478
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:40,643
(laughs) But I don't
have to tell you, Pam.
479
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:41,478
Yeah.
480
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,314
W- what?
481
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,857
Oh, well don't tell me
that he's really changed
482
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,609
since you guys dated.
483
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,069
Oh, are you joking?
484
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,278
Michael told me a
little bit about it,
485
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,113
but I see the way
you look at him.
486
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:57,035
I have never, ever
dated or wanted to do
487
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,412
anything resembling
dating Michael.
488
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:03,958
Ever. Not ever, not now. Not
then, not now. Not ever, ever.
489
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,503
I've noticed how you
look at him at the office.
490
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,337
[Jan] Mm-hmm.
491
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,176
So this girl that I
basically grew up with
492
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,346
becomes Miss West
Virginia, and then suddenly
493
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,473
all the boys start
paying attention to me.
494
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,185
And it was funny because I
never even considered myself
495
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:26,231
beautiful until people
started pointing it out to me.
496
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,734
They go, "Jan, wow, you
are so much more beautiful
497
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,946
than Miss West
Virginia". (laughs)
498
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,489
Oh, so that is why I...
499
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,866
Wait, Pam, what was your,
what was your question?
500
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,159
Where did you grow up?
501
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,667
So I spend most of
my time right here.
502
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,836
Wow. It is so cold.
503
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:51,172
Yeah. Yes. Summers
are sweltering.
504
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,383
So kind of cancel
each other out.
505
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:54,759
Have a hand.
506
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,262
So, Jim, I noticed you
checking out Jan's candles.
507
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,431
Oh no. She just put
it in front of my face.
508
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:03,393
Yeah. Did you know that
candles are the number one
509
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:06,271
fastest growing product
in the scent aroma market?
510
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,356
$2 billion a year industry.
511
00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:12,527
And for only $10,000,
you could become
512
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,529
a co-owner of Serenity by Jan.
513
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:15,363
What do you think about that?
514
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,240
Thought about it. I'm in.
515
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,534
I'm sorry. Are you really
trying to get us to invest
516
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,326
in Jan's company?
517
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,955
I'm sorry.
518
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,582
(doorbell rings)
519
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,416
What now?
520
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,127
[Jan] Coming!
521
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,713
Hello.
522
00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:32,964
[Jan] What are you doing here?
523
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,549
We came here to eat
dinner and to party.
524
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,634
This is a dinner party, right?
525
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,552
Awesome!
526
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,762
What is he doing here?
527
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:39,846
Yes. What are you doing here?
528
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:41,097
Dwight is my friend.
529
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,351
We weren't invited?
530
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,729
You said that I could not
invite Dwight because he was not
531
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:49,230
part of a couple.
532
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:52,150
And because we didn't
have enough wine glasses.
533
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,528
Dwight brought
glasses and a person.
534
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,822
Fine. Whatever you
want. Just like always.
535
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,115
Whatever you want.
536
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,910
Whatever I want? It's
never whatever I want.
537
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,495
It's fine.
538
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,830
When I wanted to see "STOMP"
and you wanted to see "Wicked",
539
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:06,998
what did we see?
540
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,333
We saw W-
541
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,086
When I said that I
wanted to have kids.
542
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,421
And you said that you wanted
me to have a vasectomy,
543
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:14,506
what did I do?
544
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,425
And then when you said that
you might want to have kids and
545
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,761
I wasn't so sure, who had
the vasectomy reversed?
546
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,221
And then when you said
you definitely didn't want
547
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,223
to have kids, who
had it reversed back?
548
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,600
Snip snap, snip snap, snip snap.
549
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,559
I did!
550
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:27,852
Okay.
551
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,813
You have no idea
the physical toll
552
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,315
that three vasectomies
have on a person.
553
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:36,403
And I bought this condo
to fill with children!
554
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:39,155
Okay, I am so sorry
that I don't want
555
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:42,742
to bring kids into this
screwed up world. Okay?
556
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,285
I'm sorry, too.
557
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,746
But look, if you want to have
kids, then fine! You win!
558
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:50,250
Let's have a (beep) kid!
559
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,335
Do you mean it? You
want to have a kid?
560
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,006
I hate my life.
561
00:20:57,173 --> 00:21:00,593
So, can we come
in? We brought beets.
562
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,178
Come on in.
563
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,347
Can I use your bathroom?
Move it, move it.
564
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,736
Great turkey leg.
565
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,613
Mm-hmm.
566
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:24,617
Michael, you should
go say something.
567
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,329
(Jan cries)
568
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,754
Babe. Hey, no, no, no.
569
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,506
Don't be sad. Don't be sad.
570
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,800
Look, I care about
you. And I support you.
571
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:47,766
And you are smart and beautiful.
572
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,686
And you have beautiful bosoms.
573
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,482
And you can't even tell they're
fake unless you're naked.
574
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:00,945
And I believe that with my
support and your constant calls
575
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,365
to Dr. Perry on my phone plan,
576
00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:04,783
which a little bit of a strain,
577
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,494
because I only have
20 anytime minutes.
578
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,373
Well, every minute
after that is 75 cents.
579
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,583
You should look
at some other plans.
580
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,795
Okay. Thanks, weirdo.
But you know what?
581
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,630
I'm month-to-month because
I don't want a two-year
582
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,131
commitment.
583
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:22,467
What were you saying to Jan?
584
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,678
Honey, nobody in
the complex likes you.
585
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:28,264
But you have made
this place look great.
586
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:30,350
It's like a museum.
587
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:35,188
You can't touch anything,
588
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:39,484
which is a really
strange way to feel
589
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,194
at the place that you live.
590
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:45,615
You have made this home a house.
591
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,499
Okay, I'm just going
to check on dinner.
592
00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,671
That was good, yeah.
593
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:01,840
Angela, would you like
some of my beet salad?
594
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,466
I hate beet salad.
595
00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:04,843
It's actually really good.
596
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:05,885
Hey, hey, hey!
597
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,263
I know you love beet salad.
598
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,889
I've seen you eat it many times.
599
00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:12,350
The thought of popping one
of your beets into my mouth
600
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,601
makes me want to vomit.
601
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,442
I hope she didn't do
anything to the food.
602
00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:23,028
Like, like what?
603
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:23,903
I can't prove it,
604
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,365
but I think she might
be trying to poison me.
605
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:34,372
Hey, it looks great, babe.
606
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:35,832
[Jim] Yeah, it really does.
607
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:38,418
I know Jan didn't poison
the food. I know that.
608
00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:41,671
But if she was going to
poison the food of someone
609
00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:45,425
at that table, wouldn't it be
me, Michael's former lover?
610
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:56,936
Can you not do
that? It's disgusting.
611
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,232
You know I have soft teeth.
How could you say that?
612
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:02,275
Oops.
613
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:05,779
Excuse me for a second.
614
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,788
So how do you guys
know each other?
615
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:17,582
I was his babysitter.
616
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,501
And now you guys are dating?
617
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:23,588
It's purely carnal and
That's all you need to know.
618
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:26,132
Would you write down your
email because I have just
619
00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:28,093
so many questions.
620
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:28,927
Email?
621
00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:31,930
Never mind.
622
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:32,931
It was me!
623
00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:35,308
What's that?
624
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:36,518
I spray painted that dog.
625
00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:41,773
It was sleek and shiny and
perfect little haircut.
626
00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:43,525
It was parading around
like it was God's gift
627
00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:45,402
to this God-forsaken
town (laughs).
628
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:47,779
I just couldn't take it anymore.
629
00:24:47,821 --> 00:24:49,572
So I went over there
and I held down my knee,
630
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:51,991
and I just spray-painted
until I was good and done.
631
00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:55,453
It bit me on the arm.
I didn't even feel it.
632
00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:57,622
Okay.
633
00:25:00,458 --> 00:25:01,626
Alright. Here we go.
634
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:15,432
Okay.
635
00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:16,683
[Jim] That's nice.
636
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:18,476
[Michael] Everybody
enjoying their meal?
637
00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:21,438
Hey, babe.
638
00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:22,731
[Michael] Yeah.
639
00:25:22,772 --> 00:25:24,149
How about we take
the beer sign down
640
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:25,400
until our guests leave and
then we can discuss it?
641
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:28,319
No, no. I'm gonna leave it up.
642
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:30,363
I think it ties the
whole room together.
643
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:32,365
Okay.
644
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:38,580
♪ Took me by the hand ♪
645
00:25:38,621 --> 00:25:41,207
Jan thinks Hunter's
very talented.
646
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:42,500
♪ Made me a man ♪
647
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,794
You know what? I don't
think he's that good.
648
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,505
At least he's an artist.
649
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:49,090
B.F.D. I'm a screenwriter!
650
00:25:49,132 --> 00:25:51,092
And I'm a candle-maker,
but you don't hear me
651
00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:52,093
bragging about it!
652
00:25:52,135 --> 00:25:54,471
No, all you do is you get me
653
00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:57,015
to try to work on
my rich friends-
654
00:25:57,057 --> 00:25:59,642
For an investment opportunity!
655
00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:01,686
Man, I would love
to burn your candles!
656
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,813
You burn it, you buy it!
657
00:26:03,855 --> 00:26:06,191
Oh good! I'll be
your first customer!
658
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:08,443
You're hardly my first.
659
00:26:08,485 --> 00:26:10,487
That's what she said!
660
00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:16,409
(glass breaks)
661
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:25,043
That was a $200 plasma
screen TV that you just killed!
662
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:29,964
Good luck paying me back
on your $0 a year salary
663
00:26:30,006 --> 00:26:31,424
plus benefits, Babe!
664
00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:37,847
(door slams)
665
00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:39,516
I'm going to get going.
666
00:26:39,557 --> 00:26:40,892
Fine. Get out of here.
667
00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:42,060
It's getting late.
668
00:26:42,102 --> 00:26:43,061
(Group speaking)
669
00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:44,312
You know what, you guys,
670
00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:44,938
she'll be out on
the bathroom soon.
671
00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,108
I noticed you're
wearing open-toed shoes.
672
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,944
Since when did you
become a whore?
673
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:54,948
There might be a lot of
things about me that shock you.
674
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,786
Now, if you excuse me, I
have to get back to my date.
675
00:27:04,416 --> 00:27:05,333
Do you need some help?
676
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:06,292
Have you seen my cooler?
677
00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:07,127
No.
678
00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:10,714
(Pam knocking)
679
00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:12,632
Thanks for everything, Jan.
680
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,093
Yeah. I want a
rematch in "Celebrity".
681
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:19,723
I want that recipe. That
was some awesome buco.
682
00:27:19,764 --> 00:27:21,474
It was a little too flavorful.
683
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,102
(police radio talking)
684
00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:25,603
Of course.
685
00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:28,481
[Dwight] Get out of my
way. I'll take care of this.
686
00:27:28,523 --> 00:27:29,607
What seems to be the
problem, Officers?
687
00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,276
Not now, Dwight.
688
00:27:31,317 --> 00:27:32,444
We got a call about
a disturbance.
689
00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:34,821
Nope. Nope. Nothing
disturbing here.
690
00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:38,116
Just a couple of friends
having an awesome dinner party.
691
00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:40,452
A neighbor said they
heard some shouting.
692
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:41,995
Oh yes, there was screaming.
693
00:27:43,038 --> 00:27:47,042
But my girlfriend threw
a Dundie at my TV.
694
00:27:47,083 --> 00:27:48,585
Plasma.
695
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:49,461
Do you want to press charges?
696
00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:51,296
Would she get into trouble?
697
00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:52,589
Yeah, she'd be charged.
698
00:27:53,757 --> 00:27:56,217
I will take the
fall. I did it.
699
00:27:56,259 --> 00:27:58,678
You know, you don't
have to press charges.
700
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,680
You can just try
to be more quiet.
701
00:28:01,473 --> 00:28:02,307
Michael!
702
00:28:02,349 --> 00:28:03,558
Yes. Oh.
703
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,727
Wait, what are
you doing to him?
704
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:08,646
Is this about that
stupid, ugly mutt?
705
00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,357
[Neighbor] She's a Weimaraner!
706
00:28:10,398 --> 00:28:13,401
Please. Please.
Don't hurt him. Okay?
707
00:28:13,443 --> 00:28:15,653
Sir, do you have any
other place you could stay?
708
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,698
Maybe with one of
your friends here.
709
00:28:19,824 --> 00:28:21,534
Michael can come home with me.
710
00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:25,163
Jim, Pam?
711
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,998
My apartments on fire.
712
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:27,832
Flooded.
713
00:28:27,874 --> 00:28:29,084
Flooded.
714
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:29,834
You people. Come on,
you're sleeping with me.
715
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:30,960
No
716
00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:32,003
I'm going to take
you home, Michael.
717
00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:32,671
Nope.
718
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:34,297
Come on. Alright.
719
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:37,967
Bye, Babe! Bye, everybody!
720
00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,513
I hope we can do this
again sometime soon.
721
00:28:41,554 --> 00:28:43,723
And Jim, I hope your
apartment's okay.
722
00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:44,974
[Jim] Okay, thanks.
723
00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:48,561
Hey, do you want
to cream it up?
724
00:28:48,603 --> 00:28:51,898
Hit the stone? Stone
it up? Creamage?
725
00:28:52,649 --> 00:28:53,650
What?
726
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:58,321
Do you want to go to
the Cold Stone Creamery?
727
00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:00,657
Oh, I don't know.
728
00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:03,785
You have to understand.
729
00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:08,707
I hated you so deeply for so
long that it's difficult for me
730
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:12,210
to find you
tolerable, which I do.
731
00:29:19,509 --> 00:29:21,219
[Michael] Could
we just go, please?
732
00:29:25,098 --> 00:29:27,726
(tires squeal)
733
00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:30,729
[Pam] This is the best
burger I've ever had, Babe.
734
00:29:33,398 --> 00:29:35,942
Babe, I should have told
you, but I did something bad.
735
00:29:39,154 --> 00:29:40,655
I stole this.
736
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:41,531
(Pam laughs)
737
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:42,365
For you, babe.
738
00:29:50,707 --> 00:29:54,836
♪ You took me by the hand ♪
739
00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:58,298
♪ Made me a man ♪
740
00:29:58,340 --> 00:29:59,549
♪ That one night ♪
741
00:29:59,591 --> 00:30:01,259
(Pam singing)
742
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:02,177
I love that.
743
00:30:02,218 --> 00:30:03,219
♪ That one night ♪
744
00:30:03,261 --> 00:30:06,973
♪ You made everything
all right ♪
745
00:30:16,316 --> 00:30:20,278
♪ So rock the ride
all night, all right ♪
746
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,655
♪ Oh yeah ♪
747
00:30:22,697 --> 00:30:24,908
♪ Oh yeah ♪
748
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:27,827
♪ So rock the ride all night ♪
749
00:30:27,869 --> 00:30:30,872
♪ Alright, oh yeah ♪
750
00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:36,002
(folksy music playing)
751
00:30:46,513 --> 00:30:49,557
♪ That one night, one night ♪
752
00:30:49,599 --> 00:30:54,354
♪ You made everything
all right ♪
753
00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:57,148
♪ That one night, one night ♪
754
00:30:57,190 --> 00:31:03,988
♪ You made everything
all right ♪
755
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:08,993
Jim, Pam, Ryan, the mayor,
Barack Obama, Shiloh Jolie Pitt,
756
00:31:10,787 --> 00:31:12,914
because at the end of the night,
757
00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:15,709
Brad or Angelina would have
to come and pick him up.
758
00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:17,877
And I would get to meet them.
759
00:31:17,919 --> 00:31:20,296
Shia LaBeouf because
of "Disturbia",
760
00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:27,095
all of the children of
the world, Val Kilmer.
761
00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,598
But he probably wouldn't
come. Too famous.
762
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,017
Obviously George Clooney.
763
00:31:37,105 --> 00:31:39,065
And Jan. Definitely.
If there was room.
764
00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,444
I'll tell you about
my ideal dinner party.
765
00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:46,156
John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey
Oswald, Osama bin Laden,
766
00:31:46,197 --> 00:31:49,909
John Wayne Gacy and
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer.
767
00:31:49,951 --> 00:31:52,287
Oh, Hey guys.
Welcome to my home.
768
00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:54,039
Oh, here comes the
waiter with the soup.
769
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,249
Hope you guys are hungry.
770
00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:58,376
Meanwhile, the waiter
subtly nods at me,
771
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:01,880
but I don't acknowledge him,
772
00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:05,216
but I know he's an assassin
because I trained him.
773
00:32:05,258 --> 00:32:08,136
Boom, two minutes later,
five dead psychopaths
774
00:32:08,178 --> 00:32:09,971
at my dining room table.
775
00:32:10,013 --> 00:32:11,973
All that's left to do is dispose
of the bodies and collect
776
00:32:12,015 --> 00:32:12,974
the reward.
777
00:32:14,225 --> 00:32:15,393
It's almost too easy.
778
00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:23,151
(upbeat rock music)
779
00:32:48,843 --> 00:32:51,304
(horn blows)
54582
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.