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1
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,386
Mm-hmm.
2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,178
And again.
3
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:16,766
I'll call back.
4
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,644
You never call back.
5
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,229
Every time Michael's in a meeting,
6
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,481
he makes me come in and
give him a Post-It note
7
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,191
telling him who's on the phone.
8
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,903
I did it once, and he freaked
out. He loved it so much.
9
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,698
The thing is he doesn't
get that many calls.
10
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,159
So he has me make them
up every 10 minutes.
11
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,202
Yeah, um, tell him I'll call
him back.
12
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:38,955
(Jan laughs)
13
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,206
Oh, you can't always
work 200 days, though.
14
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,458
[Pam] Sorry.
15
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,668
Oh, no, no, no, I
don't have time for this.
16
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,003
Tell him I'm in a meeting.
17
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,591
So you have to know how to
work this.
18
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:50,633
There's no excuse for this.
19
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:51,718
[Michael] Yep.
20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,844
I can get you a tutor if you need.
21
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:57,307
Oh. Ah, this is a very
important client.
22
00:00:57,349 --> 00:01:00,685
But, I have the most
important client sitting right
23
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,687
in front of me, my boss,
so I will call him later.
24
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,938
Oh, no, no, no.
25
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,357
Customer service is
obviously priority one.
26
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,025
You can take the call.
(Michael stammers)
27
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,194
No, money isn't everything, Ryan.
28
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,363
And you're my friend, and
I don't wanna be rude.
29
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,530
Take the call, friend.
30
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,907
[Michael] I refuse. No.
31
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,033
- My house, my rules, I insist.
- Go take your call.
32
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,910
I insist you take your work calls.
33
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,870
Uh, okay, all right.
34
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,747
Pam, would you put the call
through?
35
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:25,043
(Michael sighs)
36
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,381
Hi, buddy.
37
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,425
(upbeat theme music)
38
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,789
{\an8}[Jan] I don't know, I just,
39
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,749
{\an8}ugh, I never felt
welcomed there, you know?
40
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,709
{\an8}That's-
41
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,502
{\an8}[Jan] Such a boy's club.
42
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,337
{\an8}- Yeah, I hate that.
- Good.
43
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,714
So, here's the deal.
44
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,258
Um, I am on my way to New
York to be deposed as part
45
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,927
of Jan's wrongful termination lawsuit.
46
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,347
The company fired her
for having the courage
47
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,932
to augment her boobs.
48
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,935
{\an8}And they displayed a
pattern of disrespect.
49
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,520
{\an8}- And?
- And inappropriate behavior.
50
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,938
{\an8}Yes, yes.
51
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,357
{\an8}Pat-tern. Patt-ern.
52
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:33,153
My friend Pat took a turn.
That's how I remember that.
53
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,030
Could we pull over and put down
the top?
54
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:35,780
My-
55
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,906
[Jan] Oh, no.
56
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:37,782
[Michael] I'm feeling a little queasy.
57
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,950
[Jan] I want it up. My hair.
58
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:39,993
[Michael] Well-
59
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:40,869
Remember, it's not just a pattern,
60
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,204
{\an8}it's a pattern of disrespect.
61
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,080
{\an8}Mm-hmm.
62
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,374
{\an8}And inappropriate behaviors.
63
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,625
Disray.
64
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,546
My friend Disray got
news specs. Disray spect.
65
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:56,593
My friend Inappro drives a
Prius with his behind neighbor.
66
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,636
{\an8}[Jan] Does this work for you?
67
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,181
{\an8}Yep. Tell them how much
you're gonna get if you win.
68
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,682
{\an8}Uh, come on, Michael, that's
tacky.
69
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,558
{\an8}Million dollars!
70
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,476
{\an8}Four million.
71
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,894
{\an8}Four million dollars!
72
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:09,981
{\an8}Man, that is a lot of
guacamole. A lot of the green.
73
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,149
{\an8}Lot of green.
74
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,818
{\an8}That is why I have
memorized Jan's answers.
75
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,111
{\an8}Oh.
76
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,322
{\an8}And I've also thrown
in some errs, and ahs.
77
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,490
{\an8}- No, Michael.
- Just to make it seem
78
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,657
{\an8}like it's not memorized.
79
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,201
{\an8}- [Jan] Oh, come on.
- Perfect crime.
80
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,118
{\an8}[Jan] Stop saying ridiculous things.
81
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,286
{\an8}He's just gonna tell the truth,
82
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,163
{\an8}the truth is very, you know, complicated,
83
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,414
{\an8}so we went over it carefully,
84
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,166
{\an8}and just so we wouldn't leave
anything up
85
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,001
{\an8}to chance or Michael's judgment.
86
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,920
{\an8}Could we please pull
over and pull down the top?
87
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,505
{\an8}- I do not feel good.
- Michael, I told you,
88
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,340
{\an8}- I am not putting the top down.
- I'm getting car sick!
89
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,257
{\an8}Ugh, I'm gonna puke.
90
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,592
{\an8}[Jan] Oh.
91
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,343
{\an8}- I think I'm gonna throw up.
- All right, fine.
92
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:38,885
{\an8}Just a second. Hold on.
93
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,012
{\an8}(Michael groans)
94
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,264
(Michael sighs)
95
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,225
Hey, Schneider, real quick.
96
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,227
What do you call a butt load
of lawyers driving off a cliff?
97
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,271
A good start. And I think it's
busload.
98
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,649
Yeah, a bunch of rich
lawyers took the bus.
99
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,235
Where did you find this guy?
100
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,779
Hey, there he is.
101
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:58,655
[Ryan] Hey, Michael.
102
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,115
[Michael] Hey, hey, Jan.
103
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,366
I'm glad you're here.
104
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,909
I actually need to talk
to you for a second.
105
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,327
Michael, it's probably best
if you don't talk to anyone
106
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,370
from the company.
107
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,038
Oh, it's not about the deposition.
108
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,040
It's strictly Scranton business.
Two seconds.
109
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,250
Yeah, okay.
110
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,463
Could we talk off
the record? As friends?
111
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,298
- (Michael sighs)
- I would love that.
112
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:23,054
Jan has put the company in
a very tough position here.
113
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,723
Now you've been with us for a
long time.
114
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,224
Over 10 years, right?
115
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,018
We just wanna be sure
that you won't do anything
116
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,728
to hurt us with your testimony.
117
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:30,603
Do you understand?
118
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:31,938
Abso-really. Yeah.
119
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,983
I'll do anything for the company.
120
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,777
Good. That is great to hear.
121
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,611
It is.
122
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,616
Game, son!
123
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,410
All right, let's run it back.
124
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,579
The warehouse got a
ping-pong table last week.
125
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,914
Now Jim comes down and plays
with Darryl.
126
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,332
Sometimes I bring him juice.
127
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,293
My boyfriend is 12.
128
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,468
What has two skinny chicken
legs and sucks at ping-pong?
129
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,344
Hi, Kelly.
130
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,595
Guess whose boyfriend it is?
131
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:04,888
I don't wanna guess.
132
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,140
I'll give you a hint:
It's not my boyfriend.
133
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,641
I think it's a guy over here.
134
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,936
I don't talk trash, I talk smack.
135
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,480
They're totally different.
136
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,440
Trash talk is hypothetical,
like:
137
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,484
Your mom is so fat, she
can eat the Internet.
138
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,278
But smack talk is
happening like right now.
139
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,405
Like: You're ugly and
I know it for a fact,
140
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,199
so I got the evidence right there.
141
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,953
Jim. Can I see you for a
second?
142
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:29,996
Sure.
143
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,125
Wow.
144
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,087
Okay, it's not regulation
size, but it'll do.
145
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,338
You have to practice.
146
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,757
You have to get really
good and beat Darryl.
147
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,716
Oh, I can't beat Darryl.
148
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,134
Please?
149
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,136
Kelly's trash talking me
because Darryl is beating you.
150
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,055
What, seriously? What is she
saying?
151
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,973
Your boyfriend is so weak,
152
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,059
he needs steroids just to watch baseball.
153
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,227
Jim couldn't hit a ping-pong
ball
154
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:53,645
if it was the size of the moon.
155
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,313
Were Jim's parents first cousins
156
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,981
that were also bad at ping-pong?
157
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,441
I hope he's not that inaccurate
in bed,
158
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,111
otherwise your night
stand's gonna get pregnant.
159
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,654
It's really grating on me.
160
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,905
You can't just ignore it?
161
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,657
Just be mature about it?
162
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,783
Maybe.
163
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,493
Yeah, I guess I could.
164
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,453
Jim, I don't wanna be mature
about it!
165
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,081
So you're asking me to defend
your honor against Kelly?
166
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,290
[Pam] Sorta, yes.
167
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,418
Bring me players.
168
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,252
Okay.
169
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,212
Thank you.
170
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,340
(clears throat)
171
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:26,052
So both my lover and my
company are very concerned
172
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,846
about what I have to say,
173
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,473
but I think I can strike
a balance between the two,
174
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,226
as long as there's no acrimony.
175
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,689
Jan's lawyer said the
trial would be very civil,
176
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,315
so I'm not worried.
177
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:43,153
However, just in case,
a little sales trick.
178
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,158
Feminine lady pads.
179
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,701
You stick these under your armpits.
180
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,702
They're very absorbent.
181
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,414
Made for a woman, but
strong enough for a man.
182
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:02,422
Yes, Michael is going to
be cross-examined today,
183
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,216
which will be very, very risky
for me.
184
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,594
Well, it's not an easy decision
to make,
185
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,221
but it's a deposition.
186
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,140
It's not gonna be in front of a judge,
187
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,352
and it's four million dollars.
188
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,062
- [Michael] Oh, no, no.
- Okay.
189
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,146
Hi, everyone, I'm Diane Kelly.
190
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,647
I'm the company's chief legal counsel.
191
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,940
Hi.
192
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,069
No, no, absolutely not.
What is he doing here?
193
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,612
Toby?
194
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,447
Are you renewing your divorce
vows before my deposition?
195
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,866
Michael, I'm your HR
rep. I'm on your side.
196
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,285
Never. I want him gone.
197
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,328
I don't talk until he leaves.
198
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:34,746
Michael, just relax, okay?
199
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,873
You know, I think they're,
uh, ready for us now. So.
200
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,416
Okay. All right.
201
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,334
Actually, we're gonna do this
202
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,378
in the board room up on 26.
203
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,172
[Jan] Okay, Michael.
204
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,048
Okay.
205
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:45,924
Up or down?
206
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:46,758
Down.
207
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:50,762
Mr. Scott.
208
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,138
Do you swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth,
209
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,057
and nothing but the truth?
210
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:54,891
Yessh.
211
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,437
Mr. Scott, you're not
in any trouble here.
212
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480
All you have to do is answer
213
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,190
the lawyer's questions truthfully
214
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,566
to the best of your recollection.
215
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,695
Yes, I actually have some experience.
216
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,240
I once had to testify a
traffic accident case.
217
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,533
Then you're an old hand at this.
218
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,701
Yes.
219
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,577
My testimony was actually very important,
220
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,122
because the accident was my fault.
221
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,290
It's not Meredith, that was
another time.
222
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,835
Mr. Scott, can you
describe the circumstances
223
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,004
of Ms. Levinson's termination?
224
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,630
Well, it was not just termination.
225
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,509
It was a pattern of disrespect
and inappropriate behavior.
226
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:30,301
Oh.
227
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,512
Very good. Well put.
228
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,097
People underestimate Michael.
229
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,308
There are plenty of things that
he is well above average at.
230
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:41,312
Like ice skating. He is
a very good ice skater.
231
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,482
And I know this is gonna sound
weird, but scrambled eggs.
232
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,568
He makes the best scrambled eggs.
233
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,236
I don't know how he does it.
234
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,487
I put sugar in 'em.
235
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:56,036
Hey, Kevin. Jim needs to see you.
236
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,328
About what?
237
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,998
He needs help balancing
some travel receipts.
238
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,708
Are you sure he wants me?
239
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,461
Because I have Oscar
balance my travel receipts.
240
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,338
Yeah, no, he asked for you specifically.
241
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,881
He's in the conference room.
242
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,889
[Kevin] Oh, awesome!
243
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,896
How long have you known the
plaintiff?
244
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,106
I haven't actually seen it.
245
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,441
But I have seen "The Firm",
246
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,735
and I am planning on
renting "The Pelican Brief."
247
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,863
How long have you known
Ms. Levinson?
248
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,239
Six years and two months.
249
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,450
And you were directly
under her the entire time?
250
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,868
That's what she said.
251
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,786
[Lester] Excuse me?
252
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,204
That's what she said.
253
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,581
Ms. Levinson told you she
was your direct superior?
254
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,792
Hm? What?
255
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,251
Why would she say that?
256
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,336
Can we just move on to another
question?
257
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,504
No, wait, I don't understand.
258
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,005
Who's on record on saying this?
259
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,215
With all due respect,
260
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,633
I'm in the middle of
a line of questioning.
261
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,928
Now Mr. Scott, what did
you say Ms. Levinson said
262
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,554
regarding your employment status
263
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,723
with respect to her corporate
position?
264
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,225
Come again? That's what she
said?
265
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,267
- Okay.
- I don't know what
266
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,310
- you're talking about.
- If I may,
267
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,395
he was just telling a joke before,
268
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,312
so can we move on
269
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,271
- to another question?
- Oh.
270
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,106
Are you sure?
271
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,607
Uh, yes.
272
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,484
Okay. Can you go back to
where this digression began?
273
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,237
Mr. Schneider: "And you were directly
274
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,571
under her the entire time?"
275
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615
Mr. Scott: "That's what she
said."
276
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:20,495
Well, delivery is all wrong.
She's butchering it.
277
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,918
Oh my God, Pam, remember this morning,
278
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,670
how stupid Jim looked?
279
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,171
So gangly and weird,
280
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,466
like when Conan O'Brien danced
around his desk and stuff?
281
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,176
I'm not usually up that late.
282
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,428
Really?
283
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,848
'Cause your eyes look so
tired and figured you...
284
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,808
I wouldn't be so cocky
if I were you, you know?
285
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,309
Jim's been practicing.
286
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,185
Darryl isn't.
287
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,023
Oh, maybe that's because
he's so good naturally.
288
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:49,941
Bye, Pam.
289
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,903
Pam and I feed off of each
other's energy.
290
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:57,782
I tease her, she teases
me. We have so much fun.
291
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,661
She said that? Yeah,
we have a lot of fun.
292
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,913
Ms. Levinson was an excellent boss.
293
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,708
Professional, mean when she had
to be,
294
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,710
kind to a fault,
295
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:09,878
always dressed the way
296
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,130
that I'd like for a female boss
to dress,
297
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,300
basically every guy's fantasy
of what a boss should be.
298
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,594
Did Ms. Levinson ever say
299
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,387
why she thought she was being
fired?
300
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,432
She thought it had to do with
the twins.
301
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:23,933
That's what I call them.
302
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,269
Can you be more specific?
Who are the twins?
303
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:30,523
Um, to be delicate, they
hang off my lady's chest.
304
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,860
They make milk.
305
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,321
You don't need to go
any further. Her breasts?
306
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,739
[Michael] Yes.
307
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:38,698
She thought it had something
to do with her recent
308
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:39,824
breast enhancement surgery?
309
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,451
Yes, and frankly,
310
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:45,080
the timing was nothing
short of predominant.
311
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,417
What about your romantic
relationship with Ms. Levinson?
312
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,961
Could that have played a
part in her termination?
313
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,213
Well, if it did,
314
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,716
then the company is
breaking its own rules.
315
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,927
Interesting. How so?
316
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,304
Because before we started dating,
317
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:05,183
we disclosed our relationship
to HR.
318
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:09,312
And I have the proof right here.
319
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,523
(gasps)
320
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,982
Let's just call this exhibit A.
321
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,401
Please note that Mr. Scott
322
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,737
is holding defense document
number 109.
323
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,407
Yes, exhibit A, 109b.
324
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,869
(Andy grunts)
325
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,414
Really, stretching for
ping-pong?
326
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,040
Yeah, don't wanna
pull a hammie mid-match.
327
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,126
You want me to stretch you?
328
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,669
I was trainer for the men's
volleyball team junior
329
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:33,962
and senior years.
330
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,047
Rubbed out a lot of cramps.
331
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,757
No, I'm good. Thank you, though.
332
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,426
I played a lot of Pong growing up.
333
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,053
Spent a lot of time on cruise ships.
334
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,014
I'm also a monster snorkeler.
335
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,852
Damn it, what are these paddles
made of?
336
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:49,811
Paddle, man.
337
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:52,105
I should play you in squash.
338
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,565
I'd crush you in squash.
339
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,607
What about ping-pong?
340
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:55,859
Okay, I'll crush you in this too.
341
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,944
- Do it, serve.
- All right.
342
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,031
Okay, you know what? This
table's not regulation.
343
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,365
Good eye, it's an oval.
344
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:04,868
You're measuring the table.
345
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,369
Do you know anything about
physics?
346
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,746
Do you?
347
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,580
Just serve.
348
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,375
Let's go, damn it!
349
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,960
(sighs)
350
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,128
These balls are weighted
weird, aren't they?
351
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,921
- Yep.
- Yeah, get another one.
352
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,551
Now wait a minute.
353
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,053
You're not gonna punch a wall,
or me,
354
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:23,762
or anything like that if you
don't win the point, right?
355
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,388
I don't know.
356
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,514
No, okay?
357
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,475
Just serve.
358
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,064
Hello, everyone. I'm just
gonna sit in for a bit.
359
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,732
[Man] Okay, let's resume.
360
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:36,941
Before we continue,
361
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,027
I would like to make an opening statement.
362
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:39,944
An opening statement.
363
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,029
[Michael] Mm-hmm.
364
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,572
Okay, just be brief.
365
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,699
All right.
366
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,079
Ladies and gentlemen of the table,
367
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,914
I would just like to say what a
joy it is
368
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,499
for me to be here today,
369
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,293
but frankly, at my age,
it's a joy to be anywhere.
370
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,214
I'm only 44, so I'm not old,
371
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,132
and I guess that doesn't really play,
372
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,594
but the point is, I have a sense
of humor,
373
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:08,264
and I implore you all to have
a sense of humor as well.
374
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,142
It's cathartic to just have
a good laugh at ourselves
375
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,102
and each other.
376
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,479
I mean, look at those glasses.
377
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,107
I look around the room,
378
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,777
and I see some wonderful,
friendly faces.
379
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,195
Thank you all for coming.
380
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,948
Why don't we all take a big,
deep breath?
381
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,199
(Michael inhales sharply)
382
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,201
Come on, breathe in through your nose.
383
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,787
(Michael inhales sharply)
384
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,122
Yawning is good.
385
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,624
That's good. Let's
release all the tension.
386
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,292
Feel better?
387
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,752
Thank you.
388
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,129
Thank you for...
389
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,009
Let's continue.
390
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,479
Yeah, that's what I thought.
391
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,318
Okay, the company has just
a few clarifying questions,
392
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,820
Mr. Scott, if that's okay with
you?
393
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,488
I will allow it.
394
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,700
Would you mind please
just taking a quick look
395
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,536
at this photograph please?
396
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:15,915
Uh.
397
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,501
[Diane] That is you and
Ms. Levinson in Jamaica,
398
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,169
is that correct?
399
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,712
[Michael] Uh-huh.
400
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:21,921
And that photograph was taken
more than two months prior
401
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,548
to the start of your relationship.
402
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,175
Does that sound right?
403
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,635
Mr. Scott, the timeline here
is actually very important.
404
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:30,055
Please, when did your
relationship actually begin?
405
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,264
(sighs)
406
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,516
Well, depends on how you
define begin.
407
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,810
I mean, if it was from the
first time we shook hands,
408
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,936
that's like six years ago.
409
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:37,812
If it's from the first time we kissed,
410
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:38,855
that's like two years ago.
411
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,190
Wait, excuse me?
412
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,025
If it was from the first
time we kissed sober,
413
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,151
it was like four months after that.
414
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,819
[Lester] Could we take a short
break?
415
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,279
No, are you telling me
416
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,740
that your relationship began two
years ago
417
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,576
and not in February as you
previously testified to here?
418
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,788
Line.
419
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,039
I'm sorry, what?
420
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,583
He asked for a line, like in a play.
421
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:00,752
Answer the question please, sir.
422
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,630
Did your relationship begin two
years ago?
423
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:06,466
I'd like to take another
run at this, actually.
424
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,136
May I have a mulligan?
425
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,721
A mulligan.
426
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,724
That would mean that
you've perjured yourself.
427
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,102
I plead the first, actually.
428
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,312
You'd like to plead
the right to free speech?
429
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,356
May I request recess?
430
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,858
Mr. Scott, remember
when I said you weren't
431
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:24,776
in any trouble here?
432
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,112
Now you're in trouble.
433
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:29,989
Could I take a quick break?
434
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,366
[Diane] Hm.
435
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,827
I need to change the
panty liners in my armpits.
436
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,120
I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
437
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,538
"Can I take a quick break?
438
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,290
I need to change the panty
liners in my armpits."
439
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:45,171
Well, I should have gotten maxis.
440
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,300
(sighs)
441
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,427
What the hell were you
thinking?
442
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,679
I was just so happy to be there.
443
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,015
I sent the picture to a few
buddies to prove that we
444
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,057
- were having sex.
- Oh.
445
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:57,100
That's all.
(Jan sighs)
446
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,226
- You don't-
- Michael.
447
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,602
Remember this, but there was a time
448
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,480
when you were considered out of
my league.
449
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,024
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
450
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,942
- Okay.
- Into my arms.
451
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,194
Okay, it's fine, all right?
452
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,571
It's fine.
453
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,365
Just go back in there and
stay composed, all right?
454
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,450
- Like we rehearsed.
- Yeah.
455
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,243
Calm and confident.
456
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,077
[Michael] Okay.
457
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:16,995
Okay.
458
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,496
You can do it. I know you can.
459
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:20,540
So where'd you learn how to
play?
460
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:21,958
Cambodia, you?
461
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,877
My friend's basement.
462
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:24,711
All right, ready to start?
463
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:25,712
Let's do this thing.
464
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,553
(sighs)
465
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:37,974
What are you doing?
466
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,517
We're not playing strip pong?
467
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,355
Okay.
468
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,856
"Mr. Scott, do you realize
469
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,149
you just contradicted yourself?"
470
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,317
"I did?" "Yes you did."
471
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:48,777
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"No."
472
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,196
"I really have to, I've been
drinking lots of water."
473
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,405
"You went five minutes ago."
474
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,990
"That wasn't to go to the bathroom,
475
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,283
that was to get out of a
question."
476
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,451
"You still have to answer it."
477
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,495
"First can I go to the
bathroom?" "No."
478
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,293
Good game, Meredith.
479
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,670
Don't patronize me.
480
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,880
All right! What is going on
here?
481
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,049
Dwight! Thank God you're here.
482
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,384
As it turns out,
483
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,511
one of our biggest clients
is a ping-pong master,
484
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,930
and I have to play him tomorrow,
or we lose the account.
485
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,474
Can you help me out? Will
you help me practice?
486
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,274
- What the hell?
- I told you.
487
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,735
All of my heroes are table
tennis players.
488
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,863
Zoran Primorac, Jan-Ove Waldner,
Wang Tao,
489
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:37,033
Jorg Rosskopf, and, of
course, Ashraf Helmi.
490
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,786
I even have a life-size poster
of Hugo Hoyama on my wall.
491
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,788
And the first time I left
Pennsylvania was
492
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,749
to go the Hall of Fame induction
ceremony of Andrzej Grubba.
493
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,296
Well, that was ugly.
494
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,631
Yes, it was, Jim.
495
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,301
You're gonna lose this
account. What a mess.
496
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,108
Jan and I had an on again,
497
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,861
off again relationship for two years.
498
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:17,866
And I know this destroys
her case, and I am sorry,
499
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:21,494
but I throw myself at the
mercy of the deposition.
500
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,581
Thank you, Mr. Scott.
That's all we needed to know.
501
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,751
Wait, we'd like to
enter to the record a page
502
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,753
from Michael Scott's personal journal.
503
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,922
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What
are you doing with my diary?
504
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:33,757
This is plaintiff's
505
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,592
- exhibit 107.
- No, hold-
506
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:39,971
I quote from an entry dated
January 4 of this past year.
507
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:43,641
"Just got back from Jamaica.
Tan almost everywhere.
508
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,770
Jan almost everywhere. Hehe.
509
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:50,273
Oh diary, what a week.
I had sex with my boss.
510
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,150
I don't know if it's going to go anywhere.
511
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,403
Jan was very specific that
this is not going anywhere,
512
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,280
that it was a one-time mistake.
513
00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,116
But we had sex six times, so you
tell me.
514
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:03,036
I am definitely feeling very
eerie."
515
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,204
Irie.
516
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,538
Irie, sorry.
517
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,416
"More tomorrow. xoxo, Michael."
518
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,044
It would appear
519
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,629
that neither you nor
Ms. Levinson considered
520
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:15,215
you had a relationship
in any sense of the word.
521
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,633
Is that correct?
522
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:17,926
We're gonna need to see a copy
of that entire journal
523
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,260
before we proceed.
524
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,303
I don't think anyone in
this room has the right
525
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,763
to read my diary.
526
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,515
It's basic discovery. We
have the right to review it.
527
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,184
Okay, let's make 10
copies of this diary.
528
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,853
Um, could you make it 11?
529
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,106
11, sure.
530
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,900
And we'll break for lunch,
so everyone can have a look.
531
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,706
I totally see that.
532
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,540
Right there, first.
533
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,958
Yeah, yeah.
534
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,209
- What are you doing?
- I think that's the question.
535
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,044
It's a problem with a client.
536
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:53,962
I think, Jim-
537
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:55,296
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
538
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:57,882
Jim, come on, we gotta
get in there and practice.
539
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:58,717
(Jim scoffs)
540
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,218
Okay?
541
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,886
I'm not kidding.
542
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,681
Wow.
543
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:07,225
Now get good work done, concentrate.
544
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,101
All right.
545
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:08,935
On your back hand.
546
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:13,690
Boo-yah!
547
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:14,566
I thought we were playing for fun.
548
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,401
No one paid me to say boo-yah.
549
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,527
Now pick up the ball.
550
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,820
But it's closer to you.
551
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:21,406
Now it isn't.
552
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,657
What are you guys doing?
553
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,950
We're at a meeting.
554
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,243
Oh, yeah? How long is
this meeting gonna last?
555
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,412
- Oh.
- I have next meeting.
556
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,165
(people chatting)
557
00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:49,142
(Michael sighs)
558
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,185
Can I sit here?
559
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,777
(Michael clears throat)
560
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,279
(Toby sighs)
561
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,782
You know, I know a little
562
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,992
about what you're going through
in a way.
563
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:13,124
When I was a kid, my parents got divorced.
564
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,001
They both wanted custody,
565
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,629
and they both asked me to testify
566
00:22:17,671 --> 00:22:19,172
against the other one in court.
567
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,508
So, I don't know,
568
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,550
I didn't want them getting divorced
569
00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:24,302
in the first place, you know?
570
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:25,804
I loved them both so much.
571
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,638
Mm-hmm.
572
00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:28,932
I just wanted-
573
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,642
(tray clatters)
574
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,773
How could you give
up my diary like that?
575
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:39,275
I had to, I'm sorry
but I need to win this.
576
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:40,610
We need to win this.
577
00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:42,070
How'd you even find it?
578
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:43,780
You keep it under my
side of the mattress.
579
00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:45,907
I don't like lump. I'm
really upset about this.
580
00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:48,660
Alright, I stole your diary
and gave it to my lawyer.
581
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,495
You emailed a topless photo of me
582
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,080
to everyone in our company.
583
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:53,164
Let's call it even.
584
00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:54,249
Fine. I love you.
585
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:55,625
I love you too.
586
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:59,254
Well, how about a gross
at two dollars even?
587
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:00,505
Mm-hmm. Very good.
588
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,340
Yes, I'm still holding for her.
589
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,925
Well, Zeke, if you, I'm sorry, Ezekiel,
590
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:06,636
if you want the extra large
filing labels,
591
00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:09,848
they are a little more
expensive, but.
592
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,017
[Dwight] Mm-hmm. Released.
593
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:15,478
Mr. Scott, who is
this other woman, Ryan?
594
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,357
Who you refer to her
as just as hot as Jan,
595
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:20,567
but in a different way.
596
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:22,694
Not a woman, just a cool,
great looking,
597
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,195
best friend with benefits.
598
00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:25,405
So Ryan is a man?
599
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,489
Mm-hmm.
600
00:23:26,531 --> 00:23:28,450
What exactly are the benefits?
601
00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:29,659
We work at the same job,
602
00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:30,952
and we see each other all the time.
603
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,412
Aren't we trying to
determine whether Michael
604
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,664
and Jan were engaged in a
romantic affair?
605
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,082
Not Michael and this Ryan person.
606
00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:37,584
(Toby laughs)
607
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:38,835
Excuse me.
608
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:41,087
Alright, alright. This
is the way I see it.
609
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,881
Yes, I had sex with Jan,
610
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:46,217
and yes, I did consider
Jan to be my girlfriend.
611
00:23:46,259 --> 00:23:51,222
However, Jan clearly didn't
consider me to be her boyfriend.
612
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:55,143
So her actions are completely rightful.
613
00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:57,604
And for the record, there
have been a lot of girls
614
00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:58,897
that I've considered to be my girlfriends,
615
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:01,232
who didn't feel the same way.
616
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:02,567
Paula Cole, for one.
617
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,403
I met her at a concert she gave,
618
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,405
and we talked for several minutes.
619
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:08,573
Okay, Mr. Scott,
620
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:11,659
it's admirable the way you
defend a woman
621
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:13,828
who is so obviously ambivalent
622
00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:15,413
about her relationship with you.
623
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,415
Thank you very much. You
didn't have to say that.
624
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,542
Considering she consistently
gave you
625
00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,044
such poor performance reviews.
626
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:23,421
That was before our relationship.
627
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:25,590
She was going through a divorce,
628
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,093
and she was drinking a lot.
629
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:29,469
[Diane] Okay.
630
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:30,345
Of water.
631
00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:32,555
She couldn't have alcohol
632
00:24:32,597 --> 00:24:34,349
because of all the pills she was taking.
633
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:38,186
Wellbutrin, Lunesta, Xanax.
634
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:41,022
If you have seen a
commercial for it on TV,
635
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:43,858
then my baby's got it in her belly.
636
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:47,028
Mr. Scott, this is a copy
637
00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:50,615
of a particularly negative
performance review.
638
00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:53,326
Would you mind reading
the date on that please?
639
00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:58,581
March 17th.
640
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,083
And that would be a month
641
00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:02,961
after your relationship became
official, is that correct?
642
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:04,254
Yes.
643
00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:05,839
You may read the
highlighted portion out loud
644
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:06,840
if you'd like to.
645
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:14,264
"I am out of carrots.
I am out of sticks.
646
00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:16,975
Mr. Scott has time and
again proven himself
647
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:21,771
to be an unmanageable employee,
and a poor branch manager.
648
00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:23,982
I recommend he be removed
from that position
649
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:26,693
and re-assigned to
sales where he belongs."
650
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:28,820
Mr. Scott, after hearing that,
651
00:25:28,862 --> 00:25:31,781
wouldn't you say that Ms.
Levinson's judgment is,
652
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:34,367
at least, very seriously flawed?
653
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:39,039
Mr. Scott?
654
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:44,919
(people chatting)
(phones ringing)
655
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:46,004
[Darryl] Just read Michael's
diary.
656
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:46,838
I don't wanna talk about it.
657
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,716
(Darryl laughs)
658
00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:53,053
How's it going?
659
00:25:54,262 --> 00:25:56,639
Well, he has gone
from completely hopeless
660
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,183
to simply miserable.
661
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,143
Check this out, though, spin serve.
662
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,607
Well, it works like 80% of the
time, so.
663
00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:09,778
Nice. So, should I reschedule
the rematch with Darryl now?
664
00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:10,862
I think I'm ready.
665
00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,072
I'll make the call.
666
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:16,826
Wait a minute, Darryl is the
client?
667
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,956
No, no, no. He works here, dumbass.
668
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:24,501
Right.
669
00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:27,170
Spin-serve!
670
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:34,094
How could you do that to me?
671
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:36,638
You can respond,
672
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:37,847
just remember it's all
going into the record.
673
00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,391
Michael, I am not the enemy, okay?
674
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,017
Dunder Mifflin is the enemy.
675
00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:43,978
Dunder Mifflin has always
treated me
676
00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:47,107
with the utmost respect, with loyalty.
677
00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:50,026
They were going to give me your job,
678
00:26:50,068 --> 00:26:51,277
and I should have taken it.
679
00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:52,070
Alright, wait.
680
00:26:52,112 --> 00:26:53,488
Before you go any further,
681
00:26:53,530 --> 00:26:55,907
let me show you what kind
of loyalty they have, okay?
682
00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:58,785
Lester, please read that
part of Wallace's deposition.
683
00:26:59,911 --> 00:27:01,413
Starting at paragraph six.
684
00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:04,416
Council: "Mr. Wallace,
regarding Michael Scott,
685
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,835
was he a contender to
replace Jan Levinson?"
686
00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,086
David Wallace: "Yes."
687
00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:12,007
See? I was his number one contender.
688
00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:13,675
I was being groomed.
689
00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:15,802
Council: "Was he your first
choice?"
690
00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:18,388
David Wallace: "Michael
Scott is a fine employee
691
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:20,765
who has been with the company
many years."
692
00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:23,810
Council: "Was he in the
top five of contenders?"
693
00:27:23,852 --> 00:27:25,895
David Wallace: "What
do you want me to say?
694
00:27:25,937 --> 00:27:27,272
Come on, he's a nice guy.
695
00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:29,441
There were many people that I
considered."
696
00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:31,693
Council: "Was he being
seriously considered
697
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,278
for the corporate job?"
698
00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:34,946
David Wallace: "No."
699
00:27:40,410 --> 00:27:42,328
I have one more question, Mr. Scott.
700
00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:45,290
Wouldn't you agree with Ms. Levinson
701
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:47,792
that the company exhibits a pattern
702
00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:49,586
of disrespect toward its
employees?
703
00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:56,926
Absolutely not.
704
00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,847
(scoffs)
705
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,271
Oh.
706
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,314
Yes! Way to go.
707
00:28:09,356 --> 00:28:10,690
See that?
708
00:28:10,732 --> 00:28:12,984
Yeah, the floppy haired
girl you date won a point.
709
00:28:13,026 --> 00:28:14,194
[Darryl] 19, serving 4.
710
00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:20,742
Woo!
711
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:22,452
Nice, baby! Nice one!
712
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:26,039
♪ Hey, hey, you, you, I
don't like your boyfriend ♪
713
00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:27,540
♪ 'Cause, 'cause, 'cause,
'cause ♪
714
00:28:27,582 --> 00:28:28,583
♪ 'Cause he sucks at ping-pong ♪
715
00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:29,668
You know what? I'm sick of
this!
716
00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:30,919
Let's go, you and me!
717
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:31,836
What?
718
00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:33,672
Let's go. Pick up a paddle.
719
00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:35,256
Okay. Bring it on.
720
00:28:35,298 --> 00:28:36,091
I am.
721
00:28:36,132 --> 00:28:37,384
Think you can handle this?
722
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:38,510
In my sleep.
723
00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:39,886
Okay, well, you better start dreaming,
724
00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,471
'cause that's the only
way you're gonna win,
725
00:28:41,513 --> 00:28:42,389
is in your dreams.
726
00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:43,181
Just serve it.
727
00:28:43,223 --> 00:28:44,391
Volley for serve, P.
728
00:28:45,266 --> 00:28:46,101
O.
729
00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:50,522
P.
730
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:51,398
O.
731
00:28:52,691 --> 00:28:54,359
Do you wanna go play on the
table upstairs?
732
00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:55,360
[Kelly] O.
733
00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:56,236
Yes.
734
00:28:58,571 --> 00:28:59,406
[Pam] P.
735
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:06,329
Michael.
736
00:29:07,872 --> 00:29:08,790
I am very sorry.
737
00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:10,291
Oh, hey no biggie. Just-
738
00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:13,336
No, no, no, no, no. Hey, this
was rough.
739
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:15,755
We never meant for you to get
caught in the middle of this.
740
00:29:15,797 --> 00:29:17,007
I'm very sorry.
741
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,727
Hey, David?
742
00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:29,769
Yeah?
743
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,354
I think you're a nice guy too.
744
00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:33,982
Thanks, Michael.
745
00:29:34,024 --> 00:29:36,443
Why did I do it? I don't know.
746
00:29:36,484 --> 00:29:39,946
Jan said that it was because of
the photo
747
00:29:41,114 --> 00:29:42,782
that she revealed the diary.
748
00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:46,536
But she already brought the
diary with her to New York, so,
749
00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:50,623
you expect to get screwed by
your company,
750
00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,418
but you never expect to get
screwed by your girlfriend.
751
00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:01,676
What do you wanna do for dinner?
752
00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:05,138
How about Chinese?
753
00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:08,683
Sure, trying to save some
money, get something cheap.
754
00:30:10,477 --> 00:30:12,145
That was my cheap suggestion.
755
00:30:13,104 --> 00:30:15,774
Chinese was my cheap suggestion.
756
00:30:15,815 --> 00:30:17,192
Do you wanna do fast food?
757
00:30:17,233 --> 00:30:19,361
Fine, fast food's fine.
758
00:30:32,832 --> 00:30:35,794
(upbeat music)
53739
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