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1
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,345
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Rolando.
2
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,180
Oh, yes.
She's been expecting your call.
3
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,560
(knocks)
4
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,020
[Karen] Yeah.
5
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,605
Karen?
He's on line one.
6
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,107
Thanks, Ro.
7
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:28,445
Hey. We finally connected.
How's Scranton?
8
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:31,906
I am the regional manager
of Dunder Mifflin Utica branch.
9
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,826
Turns out it's a pretty easy gig
when your boss isn't an idiot
10
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,494
and your boyfriend's not
in love with somebody else.
11
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,955
Look, all I'm saying is it would
12
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,334
be a great opportunity and we'd
love to have you come aboard.
13
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,169
So think about it. Okay?
14
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,339
Okay, bye.
15
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,215
Look, for the record,
16
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:52,093
a certain Scranton
salesman approached me. Okay?
17
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,180
- This is perfect!
- He looks like your twin.
18
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,681
This is a dummy.
19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,433
Ala, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
20
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:01,102
We've tied a string to the
wrist, which goes to the door.
21
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,645
When somebody opens the door,
22
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,731
the hand goes down,
hits the remote,
23
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:08,026
turns on the tape recorder,
which is me snoring.
24
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:12,072
Now nobody knows whether I am
here or whether I am gone.
25
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:12,989
I'll know.
26
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,200
But you will not tell anyone.
27
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,328
I won't need to because we'll
be together, playing hooky.
28
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,539
Sometimes, most of the time I
will be with Ryan or Darryl.
29
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,792
(knock on door)
Yes. Oh good, good.
30
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,001
Stanley first victim.
31
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,212
This is what I want you to do.
Go out.
32
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,922
Come back in.
We're going to hide.
33
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,840
I want you to tell me
if this looks like me. Okay?
34
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,092
I don't understand
why sleeping
35
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,802
at your desk is better
than you not being here.
36
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,719
Just go out and come back in.
37
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,970
(snoring sound)
38
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,431
I got an offer from Utica
for more money.
39
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,058
And I'm going to take it.
40
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,435
What?
(door shuts)
41
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,858
(upbeat theme music)
42
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,222
Hey, everyone. Can I have your
attention, please?
43
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,934
I just thought you all should
know that Stanley Hudson is
44
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,354
{\an8}planning on leaving us
because our old friend Karen
45
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,983
{\an8}from Utica is going to give
him more money to work there.
46
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,776
{\an8}Okay!
(clapping)
47
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,361
{\an8}[Michael] No, no, no no!
48
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,364
{\an8}No, you completely
misinterpreted my tone.
49
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,907
{\an8}This is a horrible thing.
50
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,243
{\an8}Clearly, Karen is trying to get
51
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,954
back at us because
Jim dumped her.
52
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,080
Oh, I don't think
that's what's happening.
53
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,041
{\an8}Okay, well, smarty pants.
54
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:50,462
{\an8}Then why is she trying
to take Stanley from us?
55
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,630
I think it's because
of my sales record.
56
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,591
That could not possibly be it.
57
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:59,220
{\an8}You cannot take the hilarious
black guy from the office.
58
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,807
{\an8}Stanley is part of what makes
this branch so extraordinary.
59
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,142
{\an8}The bluesy wisdom,
60
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,979
{\an8}the sassy remarks,
the crossword puzzles,
61
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,441
{\an8}the smile, those big,
watery red eyes.
62
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,110
{\an8}I don't know how George Bush
did it when Colin Powell left.
63
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:16,446
{\an8}And if Utica thinks that they
64
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:19,616
{\an8}are going to poach Stanley,
they have another thing coming.
65
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:22,702
Are you gleeful over this?
Is working out for you, Jim?
66
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,330
{\an8}It's completely
unrelated, so...
67
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,539
Was it worth it?
68
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,251
Was she worth it?
69
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,962
Yep, she was.
70
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,883
{\an8}Look at Pam, everybody.
She likes this.
71
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,679
Oh. No, you missed it.
72
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,430
{\an8}Now she's ordinary again.
73
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,899
- How can I get you to stay?
- Money.
74
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}Yeah. We all want money.
75
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,904
{\an8}But there is none in the budget.
76
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,448
{\an8}So tell me why you're
really leaving.
77
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,574
Money.
78
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,035
More money, more problems, Stanley.
79
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,787
You of all people
should know that.
80
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,580
{\an8}Let me ask you this.
81
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,457
- If I were...
- Money.
82
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,295
Oscar, did you bring it?
83
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,425
To be Edwardian.
84
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,509
His best work.
85
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,969
Okay, well, I have
the tablecloth.
86
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,387
- Don't forget the flatware.
- Sure thing, Pam.
87
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,889
- Can't wait.
- [Angela] Sure thing, Pam.
88
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,726
- Fru fru club.
- [Kevin] Must be nice.
89
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,603
Look at me.
I wear underwear.
90
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,149
Oscar, Toby and I are founding
91
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,651
members of the
Finer Things Club.
92
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,361
We meet once a month to discuss
93
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:42,907
books and art, celebrate culture
in a very civilized way.
94
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,868
Sometimes the debate can get
95
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:48,246
heated, but we're
always respectful.
96
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,459
There is no paper, no plastic
and no work talk allowed.
97
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,879
It's very exclusive.
98
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,089
Besides having sex with men,
I would say
99
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,134
The Finer Things Club is
the gayest thing about me.
100
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,219
I love the Finer Things Club.
101
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:08,099
My ex wife used to have a book
club and I would read their book
102
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,019
and sometimes listen
from the kitchen.
103
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,645
The Finer Things Club was not
104
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,106
sanctioned by the party
planning committee.
105
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,317
Renegade clubs are dangerous.
106
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,945
I squashed the Weight
Loss Buddy Support Group.
107
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,530
They didn't need to gather.
108
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,657
It was just gross.
109
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,993
I don't know why I'm not
in the Finer Things Club.
110
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,080
It's bull crap.
111
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,123
(classical music plays)
112
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,126
So, tell me again why I can't
be a part of your club.
113
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,212
Because some people think
that you monopolize
114
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,005
the conversation
by trying to be funny.
115
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,008
- Oscar?
- Some people.
116
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,718
[Karen on phone] Hello?
117
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,428
Fillippellers.
How they hanging?
118
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,514
- Michael...
- To the left? To the right?
119
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,891
- Listen, I'm...
- Okay, enough small talk.
120
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,976
- Go ahead.
- You called me.
121
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,729
Yes. Listen, umm...
122
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,315
You cannot tear Stanley
from his family like this.
123
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,651
I'm pretty sure his family
is coming with him.
124
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,985
No, his work family.
125
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,113
Look, this is very hard for me,
126
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,156
but I'm going to give
you my best man.
127
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,741
You may have Toby.
128
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,243
Toby's not a salesperson.
129
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,494
You can train him.
130
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:13,206
He's very very smart and
funny and charming.
131
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,667
Aahhh!
132
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,168
You know, I can't do it.
133
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,628
Toby is the worst.
134
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,172
That was a bluff.
135
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,299
Listen, if you were going
136
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,677
to poach one of my guys, I am
going to poach one of yours.
137
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,970
Oooohhh...
138
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,139
- Goodbye, Michael.
- Okay. Goodbye.
139
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,807
Wait wait! Karen.
140
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,435
Could you transfer me to one
of your sales people, please?
141
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,686
Your best one.
142
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,229
(Karen hangs up)
143
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,694
So, Stanley, are you
really out of here?
144
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,738
Yep.
Looks that way.
145
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,741
I'm gonna miss you, man.
146
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,201
You've been like an uncle to me.
147
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,328
Like a kind old
148
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,122
Uncle Remus.
149
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,916
I want to stay in touch.
150
00:06:56,958 --> 00:07:02,630
The Bernard Network or Bern-
network is constantly growing.
151
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,592
Always stay in touch with
everyone I've ever worked with.
152
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,428
Case in point, Stanley.
Just got his number.
153
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,182
1-800-Stanley.
154
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,352
How cool is it that he
got that number?
155
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:17,395
If I was going
to socialize with Andy,
156
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,481
it would have happened by now.
157
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,609
It's inappropriate
for Karen to poach Stanley.
158
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,528
Boiling makes
human flesh rubbery.
159
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,365
I'm finally going
to get the good desk.
160
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,909
I have Ben Nugent on the line.
161
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,744
He is the top salesman in Utica.
162
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,246
- Hi, Ben. Michael Scott.
- Hi, Michael.
163
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,582
I'm going to cut right
to the chase here.
164
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,292
Do you like magic?
165
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,378
Because I am a Genie in a bottle
166
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,380
and I'm going to grant you three wishes.
167
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,423
To move to Scranton,
168
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,635
to have a great job
and to be my best friend.
169
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,304
Aren't you the guy that hit
the woman with your car?
170
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,348
- (Pam chuckles)
- Get out.
171
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,644
Uhh...
Yeah, I also saved her life.
172
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,355
But I guess that's
not as grabby.
173
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,941
Everyone says Scranton branch
is worse than Camden.
174
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,985
Didn't everyone from Stanford
quit, like immediately?
175
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,904
No, I fired them.
And you're next.
176
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,326
So what do you say?
177
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,994
Seriously?
178
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,080
What is that guy
talking about?
179
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,832
Scranton is not lame.
180
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:19,958
Here's the breakdown.
181
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,460
Utica is lame.
182
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,131
Utica is snoozeville.
183
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,466
Albany are the prepsters.
184
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,052
Umm... Camden is in a basement.
185
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,346
Nashua has no parking.
186
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,516
Akron is haunted.
187
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,560
Yonkers has the two hot girls.
188
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:42,355
And Scranton is the cool,
fun branch.
189
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,190
We're like Animal House.
190
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,484
[Dwight] Found him.
(classical music plays)
191
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,988
Jim, we're getting crapped on.
192
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,406
Word is our branch sucks.
193
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,991
We have to do
something about it.
194
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,743
- So what are you going to do?
- What are we going to do?
195
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,828
We are going to make
a monster sale,
196
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:57,912
is what we're going to do.
197
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,664
- Corcoran dropped Staples.
- Did they?
198
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,416
Yes, they did.
Oh, yes, they did.
199
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,626
And we are going to murder it.
200
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,463
You, me, Dwight are going
to jump in my PT Cruiser
201
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,506
we are going to crush this sale.
202
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,841
We are going to prove
203
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,135
what the hell is that music?
204
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,179
It's Vivaldi for Finer Things.
205
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,264
That's the problem.
That's the problem.
206
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,058
We need rock and roll, Pam.
207
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,517
Rock and roll.
208
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,685
All right?
209
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,981
Oh, my God.
210
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,483
(classical music plays)
211
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,276
That's why people are leaving.
212
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,653
I...
213
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,823
I have no words.
214
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,950
♪
215
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,917
Woo!
216
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,795
- Shotgun!
- Oh, you're driving, right?
217
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,589
Yes, I am.
But I want shotgun for you.
218
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,924
[Dwight] I wanted to
sit next to you.
219
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,176
No, Dwight, Dwight, Jim is
sitting next to me.
220
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,552
You're going to sit in the back
221
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,554
left where I don't have
to see your ugly moon gob.
222
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,640
Okay, that is so mean.
You know what?
223
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,016
- I'm not going.
- I'm sorry.
224
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,518
I'm sorry, Dwight.
You're handsome.
225
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,353
You're a very handsome man.
Get in the car.
226
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,023
(car door slams)
227
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,067
Woo hoo!
228
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,360
(car engine revs)
229
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,079
We just passed the
exit for Corcoran.
230
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,789
What? What? We did?
231
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,584
[Dwight and Michael]
Surprise! Yaah!
232
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,711
Hahaha!
233
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,255
Yes! Look at his face!
Look at his face.
234
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,507
- What are we doing?
- Egg dripping, blaah.
235
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,092
Dwight, what are we doing?
236
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,510
Well, Gee, Jim, I don't know.
237
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,387
I guess there's no
sales call today.
238
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,431
We are going on a panty
raid to Utica.
239
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,391
Is what we're doing.
240
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,143
- We're going to Utica?
- Uh huh!
241
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,394
(Dwight laughs)
242
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,854
I'm not going to Utica.
243
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:46,938
Yes, you are.
244
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,314
Oh, buckle up, Jim.
245
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,941
- No...
- We are going to make Karen
246
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,610
wish that she had
never been dumped by you.
247
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,865
(Michael and Dwight chanting)
Utica! Utica! Utica!
248
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,706
- Yow!
- I can't believe you guys.
249
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,542
I'm not going to go further
and piss off my ex-girlfriend.
250
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,210
- Are you calling Karen?
- No, I'm not calling Karen.
251
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,755
- He's lying.
- Yeah, get it.
252
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,257
What are you doing?
Stop it! Dwight!
253
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,051
Gah! Hah!
254
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,260
Are you kidding me?
255
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,179
No communication
with the outside world, Jim.
256
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,430
(Dwight laughs)
257
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,390
Had to be done.
258
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,225
Well, that kind of
sucks because
259
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,603
it had all the photos of my
brother's new baby on it.
260
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,108
That is too bad.
261
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,109
Shoot.
262
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,871
- Okay.
- Hey, Dwight, he found it.
263
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,791
You know what? I'm just going
to call a cab from here.
264
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,000
All right.
265
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,670
- You'll miss the best prank ever.
- All right.
266
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,673
Wait.
267
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,091
What are you planning on doing?
268
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,135
Do you really want to know?
269
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,596
- Oh, God.
- Follow me. Come here.
270
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,764
Here's what we brought.
271
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,100
We brought uniforms
from the warehouse.
272
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,685
I brought silly string.
273
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,894
Dwight brought gasoline
274
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,604
and chunks of rubber
to make stink bombs.
275
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,565
- Or real bombs.
- No, no. Not real bombs.
276
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,651
Come on.
It'll be so bad ass.
277
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,154
Maybe. I don't know.
It could be bad ass.
278
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,532
- Well...
- No. Absolutely
279
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,033
we're not doing this.
280
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,535
Come on, I already filled
the bottles with the gas.
281
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,162
- It's going to be so bad ass!
- Are you kidding me?
282
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,288
We've been driving around
283
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,623
with this in the trunk
the whole time?
284
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,500
Teach her to offer
Stanley more money.
285
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,213
Can you imagine a
life where all
286
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,882
you have to do is summer
in the Italian countryside?
287
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,384
I know, right?
288
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:43,054
I just want to go and look
at art and swim in the Adriatic.
289
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,390
And spend time
with George Emerson.
290
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,559
- That's what I would do.
- Absolutely.
291
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,269
He is great.
292
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,645
Totally!
293
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,272
I mean, come on.
Such a free spirit.
294
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,732
What are you doing?
295
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,318
Just came to discuss
my favorite E.M. Forster novel.
296
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,737
(Andy sighs)
Pam...
297
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,657
These finger sandwiches look
finger licking delicious.
298
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,201
I'm sorry, Andy,
but this is a closed club.
299
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,499
The Finer Things Club is
300
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,793
the most exclusive
club in this office.
301
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,879
Naturally, it's
where I need to be.
302
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,505
The party planning committee is
303
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,508
my backup, and Kevin's
band is my safety.
304
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,052
Fine.
305
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,972
I'll just
306
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:32,187
sit here in the common area
and read my book,
307
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,898
which just happens to be the
very same book you're reading.
308
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,149
All right.
309
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:37,817
Just know you're not
in The Finer Things Club.
310
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,694
Why can't I be in a club?
311
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,197
So there was no sales call?
312
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,281
[Jim] No.
313
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,699
Turns out it was just a really
314
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,661
bad idea involving fire,
but I think I fixed it.
315
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,372
Wait, you're going
along with this now?
316
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,456
I have to.
317
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,707
Pam, if I'm not there,
318
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,668
someone's going to go
to jail or die.
319
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,171
Right. And you wouldn't be
able to talk to Karen.
320
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,423
Well, I promise you, that
has nothing to do with it.
321
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,008
A little bit.
322
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,635
Well, yeah, I don't want to
see her get physically harmed.
323
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,136
That's for sure.
324
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,805
Because you love her?
Because you love her very much?
325
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,931
All right.
I'm going to go now.
326
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,391
Okay.
Have fun with your girlfriend!
327
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:10,725
Okay, I will.
328
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,143
I'm kidding around.
329
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,978
We joke about that
stuff all the time.
330
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,730
I'm not really the jealous type,
331
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,899
so I don't care if
Jim sees Karen.
332
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,735
I care a little.
333
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,071
So the deal was
334
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,783
Dwight doesn't blow anything up,
and I wear costume.
335
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,036
And a mustache.
336
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,667
So why did you
and Karen break up?
337
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,293
- Was it the sex?
- What?
338
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,671
I can't imagine the sex being
bad. I mean her body...
339
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,589
You know what?
Why don't we play that Alphabet
340
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,633
game that you were
talking about?
341
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,510
Okay, I will start.
342
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,886
Umm... "A".
343
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,890
♪ Hey, my name is Alan,
and my wife's name is Alice ♪
344
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,309
♪ We live in Alaska,
and we sell... ♪
345
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,522
Damn! What do we sell?
Umm...
346
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,773
Doesn't matter.
347
00:14:58,815 --> 00:14:59,858
I'm trying to think
of what we could sell.
348
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,234
It doesn't matter.
349
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,360
(liquid splashing)
350
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,778
What is that?
351
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:07,866
That sound. The air conditioning
leaking or something?
352
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,326
That doesn't make sense.
It couldn't be.
353
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,120
What is that?
354
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,955
(liquid splashing)
355
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,332
Dwight, are you peeing?
356
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,751
I'm peeing in this empty can.
357
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,295
- Oh, my God!
- Man, that is disgusting!
358
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,172
You said we couldn't
make any more stops.
359
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,298
I really had to go.
360
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,507
- (car skids)
- Michael, watch the road!
361
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,800
Hey! You're making me spray!
362
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,135
- I'll kill you, man!
- Oh my God!
363
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:29,179
Michael, Michael!
Pull over!
364
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,263
Disgusting!
365
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,598
I think I cut
my penis on the lid.
366
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,100
[Pam] I think it's interesting
how Forster uses
367
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,686
Italy to represent
sexuality and passion.
368
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,146
(coins clanking)
369
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:42,650
And that also brought up themes
of fate and coincidence.
370
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,986
And Lucy is torn between
these two things.
371
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,364
She's torn between
passion and convention.
372
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:48,990
[Kevin] Damn it.
373
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,450
(banging)
374
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,330
(loud banging)
375
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,458
(indistinct)
376
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,959
[Kevin] Yes!
377
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,297
Dammit.
378
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,174
(microwave beeps)
379
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,968
Made him sort of ahead
of his time as a writer.
380
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,471
Very brave choice, I thought.
381
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:17,769
And George, his youthfulness,
his freedom, evokes
382
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,396
(beeping)
383
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,606
feelings.
384
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,649
Umm...
385
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,943
(beep beep beep)
386
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,695
(shouting) What are you, microwaving?
387
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:27,862
Popcorn.
388
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:28,822
Why don't you use
the microwave
389
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,573
in the kitchen, Phyllis?
390
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,410
Someone needs to clean it.
It smells like popcorn.
391
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,329
Okay.
392
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:39,082
(microwave whirring)
393
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,960
I think of the Finer Things Club
394
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,297
as a little flickering candle
that everyone in the office is
395
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,425
trying to blow out
with their bad breath.
396
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,761
[Jim] I can't believe
we're here.
397
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,179
I can't believe
this is happening.
398
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,306
- [Dwight] Believe it.
- Afro wig?
399
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,391
Do you want the afro wig?
400
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,101
No, Michael, I'm not
leaving the car.
401
00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,853
You could be our getaway, man.
That's smart.
402
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,229
Keep the engine running.
403
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,481
No, I am the "not
participating in any way" man.
404
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,608
- Come on!
- All right, Dwight.
405
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,818
Here's how it's
going to go down.
406
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,069
You and I...
407
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,572
(whispering)
Guy's going by. Shh,
408
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,157
You and I are going
to sneak inside.
409
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,575
We pretend that we are
warehouse workers.
410
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:16,161
And we will silly string the
bejesus out of the place.
411
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,746
And if we have to defend ourselves,
412
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:21,041
I will stab the security guard
in the eye with the jumbo chalk.
413
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,418
No! No, you won't do that. Nope.
414
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,795
Then I'll grind up the jumbo
chalk and blow it in his eyes.
415
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:28,882
Dwight, nothing
with the eyes, please.
416
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,426
Okay, Jim.
417
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,095
Oh, my God. That's her.
That's her.
418
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,264
- Go go go go!
- Let's move! Move move move!
419
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,807
Shut up!
420
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:40,018
This is the dumbest
thing we've ever done.
421
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,784
[Michael on radio] We are in
the stairwell.
422
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,452
[Dwight] We are climbing
some stairs.
423
00:17:58,370 --> 00:17:59,829
(heavy breathing)
424
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,498
[Dwight] I am breathing heavily.
425
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,208
Okay, you know what?
You really don't need to be
426
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,834
updating me as much as
you're updating me.
427
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,002
[Michael] There's a guy,
there's a guy.
428
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,253
[Dwight] It's a security
guard coming by.
429
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,965
Hello. We're warehouse workers.
430
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,843
- Would you like more proof?
- [Guard] Hey.
431
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,054
[Michael] Oh, my God.
That was very close.
432
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,764
[Dwight] I can see the
security guard's eyes.
433
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:19,849
No, don't do anything to them!
434
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,976
[Dwight] I have to do
something to his eyes.
435
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:25,021
The eyes are the groin
of the head.
436
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,191
All right, Great Scott,
if you found that choking
437
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,401
hazard poster,
just head on home.
438
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,819
[Michael] We got something
far better.
439
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,988
Their crown jewel.
They're industrial copier.
440
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,116
Isn't that thing huge?
441
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,119
[Michael] It's enormous,
but it's got wheels.
442
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,996
We're wheeling it down
the hall into the stairwell.
443
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,791
Get the car ready.
Keep the engine running.
444
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,793
No, that is a terrible idea.
445
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,169
Don't do this.
446
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,921
[Michael] Aahh!!!
(crashing sound)
447
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,464
[Dwight] My hip bone!
448
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:52,924
[Michael] We're wedged between
the copier and the railing.
449
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,801
Ow! God! My leg!
450
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,512
- Leave us, Jim!
- Don't leave us!
451
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,681
- Save yourself!
- Don't leave us. Help us.
452
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:00,890
We need help, Jim.
453
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,851
Okay, first of all,
stop using my name.
454
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,977
And second of all...
455
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,395
(Michael and Dwight arguing)
456
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:06,896
Damn it, guys.
457
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:07,939
Move over a little bit!
458
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,441
I'm losing control
of my bladder!
459
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,443
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Karen is back.
460
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,903
- [Dwight] Is that Karen?
- [Michael] Take her to a motel.
461
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,530
Make love to her, Jim.
462
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,365
No, I'm not doing that.
463
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,075
[Michael] Say you want to get
back together.
464
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,577
No, I'm not doing that.
465
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,995
[Michael] It doesn't have
to mean anything.
466
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:25,498
Just do it for Stanley.
Come on, Jim.
467
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,209
Just climb on top of her
and think about Stanley.
468
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:32,714
Oh, Jim, if this is it for me,
promise me something...
469
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,716
- (taps on window)
- Jim?
470
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,509
[Michael] Host the Dundies.
471
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,680
Hey, Karen.
472
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,560
Uhh... What are you
doing here?
473
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,645
First of all, Hi.
474
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,022
What are you doing here?
475
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:50,440
You good?
476
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,735
I'm just checking
on the other branches.
477
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,154
Michael wants me to do
that from time to time, so...
478
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,989
[Michael] Jim!
479
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,491
That's Michael right there.
Hold on a sec.
480
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,161
Utica's all set.
I'm going to head on to Albany.
481
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:06,289
[Michael](moaning)
There's a crow bar
482
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:09,459
in the trunk.
Bring in the crow bar.
483
00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:11,544
Why are you here?
484
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,797
I'm the getaway driver.
485
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:17,676
[Dwight] Do not tell Karen
about the industrial copier
486
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,885
Copy that.
487
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,513
I cried for weeks
over that guy.
488
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,516
So, yeah, seeing him
climb out of a PT Cruiser
489
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,395
in a lady's warehouse
uniform felt pretty good.
490
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,647
They sprayed me in the eye.
491
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,692
Scranton rules!
492
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,984
Stop it! Stop it!
493
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,903
(Dwight moans)
494
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,239
Can you help me, please?
I'm being crushed.
495
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:46,663
And let me just add that as
a member of the Finer Things
496
00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:52,085
Club, I would bring a strong
financial contribution to any
497
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,046
discretionary funds
that we may have.
498
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,923
Finally, here's a recommendation
499
00:20:56,965 --> 00:21:00,218
from former
US Senator Rick Santorum.
500
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,720
Okay, that's enough.
501
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,263
Thanks, Andy.
502
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,935
He's going to ruin everything.
503
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,228
Oh, my God.
504
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,480
His letter of recommendation
from Rick Santorum
505
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:14,899
- is three fifty dollar bills.
- Wow.
506
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,901
Now we can afford
hardcover books.
507
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,445
I like it just us three.
508
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,490
I don't want it to change.
509
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,368
Let me ask you.
510
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,662
Did you accomplish
what you wanted?
511
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:30,582
Listen, lady,
you can expect these kind
512
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,793
of repercussions as long as you
keep trying to poach our people.
513
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,128
I'm taking Stanley.
514
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,798
And we will burn Utica
to the ground.
515
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,177
(Michael clears his throat)
516
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:45,847
Granted, maybe this
was not the best idea.
517
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:48,600
But at least we care enough
518
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,394
about our employees that we
are willing to fight for them.
519
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:56,316
And if you so much as harm
a hair on Stanley's head,
520
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,445
we will burn Utica
to the ground.
521
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:11,206
- Jim, hang on a second.
- Yes.
522
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,337
So you're still doing
this kind of stuff, huh?
523
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,797
Yeah.
Trying to quit, though.
524
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,508
If you wanted to see me,
525
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,635
you could have just
called me like an adult.
526
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,595
Oh, no, I didn't
want to see you.
527
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:29,599
Not that I'm not happy to be
seeing you right now.
528
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:32,477
I'm just saying, ultimately,
I was here for the copier.
529
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,229
Equal. I'd say it was equal.
530
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,272
So, good to see you.
531
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,650
(phones ringing)
532
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,860
I mean, it's just that...
(clears throat)
533
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,738
You know, Pam and
I are still dating, so...
534
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:47,325
And I just mean that things
are going really well.
535
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:50,495
So I didn't want to see you.
536
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:53,415
Oh, things are going
really well, are they?
537
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,543
They are? That's great.
That's so great.
538
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,170
I want to hear more about
how happy you are with Pam.
539
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:00,755
Can you tell me more about that?
540
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:04,175
Thank you so much for coming
to Utica and breaking my copier
541
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,012
and telling me how well things
are going in your relationship.
542
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,346
Really. Thank you.
543
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,390
All right.
You are welcome.
544
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:15,186
I am going to go
because of traffic.
545
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,313
- Traffic. Yeah.
- So...
546
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,900
Go because of traff...
Definitely beat the traffic.
547
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:23,570
I will...
548
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:27,699
I wasn't that mad at him,
but I needed time for Rolando
549
00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,868
to put a scoop of tuna fish
in their glove compartment.
550
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,705
Would it have killed you
to spend the afternoon making
551
00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:36,624
love to her in a motel
room like I begged you to?
552
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,503
Pam would have understood.
553
00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:42,047
Heck, Pam would have done it.
554
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,341
Pam is down for anything.
555
00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:45,967
You embarrassed me.
556
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:48,678
You embarrassed us.
557
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,556
Yeah, we should
have brought Andy.
558
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,728
I cut a chunk out
of my penis for nothing.
559
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,162
Dear Andrew Bernard,
after carefully examining your
560
00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:15,747
application to the
Finer Things Club.
561
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:18,041
We are unable to offer you a
position at this place in time.
562
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:19,584
We would, however,
563
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:22,420
like to place you on a list
in case an opportunity arises
564
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,464
when your inclusion
could be tolerated.
565
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:25,840
Your position as an ongoing
566
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:29,094
financial patron, however,
is yours to cherish.
567
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,971
Sincerely,
The Finer Things Club.
568
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:34,391
Yes!
Woohoo!
569
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,434
Wait listed.
570
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,770
I got into Cornell
off the wait list.
571
00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:41,773
I went to Germany and did
a photojournalism project called
572
00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:44,109
the Berlin Wall
Several Years Later.
573
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:46,444
Has anything really changed?
574
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,029
They ate it up.
575
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:51,991
Also, my dad went there.
576
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:53,451
He was a big donor.
577
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,870
I lived in Bernard Hall
my freshman year.
578
00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:57,831
So...
579
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,716
- (clears throat)
- We tried and we failed.
580
00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:12,053
Stanley, you
581
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,056
may go.
582
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:18,601
Here is a box
583
00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,646
for your things.
584
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,359
But I doubt that that box
will be able to contain
585
00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:29,571
all the memories that you
have of this place.
586
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,364
(Michael sighs)
587
00:25:31,781 --> 00:25:33,616
Fly away, sweet little bird.
588
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:35,869
Fly away and be free.
589
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:38,872
Pam...
590
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,750
I'm going to need some
help writing a want ad.
591
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:44,836
Umm...
592
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:47,547
Wanted...
593
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,383
Middle aged black man with sass.
594
00:25:51,301 --> 00:25:53,887
Big butt, bigger heart.
595
00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:56,556
(knock on door)
I can't do this.
596
00:25:57,057 --> 00:25:58,391
Michael?
597
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,477
A word?
598
00:26:01,144 --> 00:26:02,937
Of course.
599
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,150
I changed my mind.
600
00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:08,651
I want to keep this job.
601
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:12,030
- Really?
- Yes.
602
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,283
Because of the rapport we have
603
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:18,078
because of the family
that we have here?
604
00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,747
Yeah.
That's exactly the reason.
605
00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:23,208
I wasn't really
planning on leaving.
606
00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:25,210
All I wanted was a raise.
607
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:27,754
How on Earth did
Michael call my bluff?
608
00:26:28,588 --> 00:26:31,216
Is he some sort
of secret genius?
609
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,093
(Stanley chuckles)
610
00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:35,553
Sometimes I say crazy things.
611
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,267
Hey.
612
00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:44,437
I'm so sorry.
Rolando told me everything.
613
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,691
How humiliating.
614
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:51,820
Would it help you
to return to another age?
615
00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:56,616
A time of refinement
and civility?
616
00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,869
Are you inviting me
to the Finer Things Club?
617
00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:01,496
(Andy gasps)
618
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:03,123
Oh, come on!
619
00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:11,256
Frankie's prose is finer
than a pot of gold.
620
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:12,841
Say I.
621
00:27:12,882 --> 00:27:14,426
Okay.
622
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:16,803
Did you get it out
of your system?
623
00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,221
Yup.
624
00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:21,516
No, I mean, I really liked it.
Thought it was a fun read.
625
00:27:21,558 --> 00:27:23,393
Fun? Really?
626
00:27:23,435 --> 00:27:25,812
- Yeah.
- What was fun about it for you?
627
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,605
Was it the death of the twins?
628
00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:32,652
No, that wasn't fun.
629
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:34,362
Did you even read it?
630
00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:35,572
Of course I read it.
631
00:27:35,613 --> 00:27:36,698
[Oscar] How does it end?
632
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,116
Who's the main character?
633
00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:41,411
Angela.
634
00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:42,787
Nope.
635
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,205
Ashes.
636
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:53,590
(upbeat music)
45909
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