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1
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:09,634
How are we doing on time?
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,136
The party starts in an hour.
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,680
60 minutes. 60 minutes,
that's a lot of minutes.
4
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:18,309
Well, corporate is throwing
this gigantic, lavish,
5
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,771
gold-encrusted sushi gala
6
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,357
that Ryan didn't
invite any of us to.
7
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,277
All I wanna do is throw a party
8
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:31,156
that makes Ryan's party look
like Stanley and Phyllis' desk.
9
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,950
These are some things that
I would like to have happen.
10
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,538
"Beer, light beer,
streamers, orchids,
11
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,582
better lighting,
something made of ice"?
12
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:41,499
(agrees) Those
are just things.
13
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,917
This is how I want it to feel.
14
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,502
"Pizza, pizza with mushrooms,
pizza without mushrooms,
15
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,837
white pizza, steak?"
16
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,174
I would like this
party to be sexier,
17
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,800
cooler, more important.
18
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,677
"Chocolates, someone famous?"
19
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,845
- [Scott] Yes.
- "Cool music,
20
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,889
confetti, go-go dancers?"
21
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,558
I want it to embarrass
all other parties.
22
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,020
I want it to be a party
that the guys in New York
23
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,813
watch on the webcam and say,
24
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:07,317
"Wow! How did they
get Al Roker to come?"
25
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,485
I can't do this.
26
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,403
- [Scott] Yes, you can.
- I can't do it!
27
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,696
Yes, you can. I know you can.
28
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,907
I wouldn't say that if I
didn't 100% believe it.
29
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,158
Who else could do this?
30
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,620
- Okay. Okay.
- No, seriously.
31
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:19,996
Is there anyone else
who could do it better?
32
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,915
Because we don't
have a lot of time.
33
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,001
I'll get the pizza!
34
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:32,217
("The Office Theme"
by Daniel Tidwell)
35
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,084
{\an8}(whispering) What do
you think of Angela?
36
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:06,835
Jesus!
37
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,422
{\an8}I think she's efficient.
38
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,257
{\an8}No, not like that. As a woman.
39
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,553
{\an8}W-O-M-A-N.
40
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,513
{\an8}I hadn't noticed.
41
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,181
{\an8}You hadn't noticed
she's a woman?
42
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,936
{\an8}I hear she's single
and ready to mingle,
43
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,147
{\an8}and she does make me tingle.
44
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,109
{\an8}Yeah, there's just
something about her.
45
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,696
{\an8}All that strength and
steeliness and righteousness
46
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,031
{\an8}all wrapped up tight
47
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,491
{\an8}and shoved into a tiny
little delicate frame.
48
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,912
{\an8}I'm thinking about
making a play for her.
49
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,497
{\an8}What do you think? Crazy, right?
50
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,752
{\an8}I think it's inappropriate
to date someone you work with.
51
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,045
{\an8}Isn't that part of the fun?
52
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,963
{\an8}No. I think you
should date Kelly.
53
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,509
{\an8}She works here, too.
How is that any different?
54
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,219
Uh, she works in the annex.
55
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,014
You're also welcome
to date Toby.
56
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,392
Okay.
57
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,855
{\an8}They say you should never
mix business with pleasure.
58
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:09,898
{\an8}Really?
59
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,483
{\an8}Well then explain to me
60
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,736
how a putt putt golf company
operates. (exhales sharply)
61
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:15,779
Good news!
62
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:16,821
We get to go home?
63
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,323
Guess who just ordered
64
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:22,077
from your favorite
pizza place, Alfredo?
65
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:22,911
Wait.
66
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,333
Alfredo's Pizza Cafe?
Or Pizza By Alfredo?
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,334
Same thing.
68
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,502
- No.
- You really screwed it up.
69
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,503
(group groans and grumbles)
70
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,962
All right, you know what?
71
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,673
I don't understand when you
all talk at the same time!
72
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,965
Oscar, talk to him.
73
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,634
Michael, there's a
very big difference
74
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,010
between these two pizza places.
75
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:43,181
Both in quality of ingredients
and in overall taste.
76
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,350
Which one did you order from?
77
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,685
(paper rustling)
78
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,644
Pizza By Alfredo.
79
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,687
(group groaning)
80
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,646
All right, you know what?
81
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,564
Okay, okay, what is better?
82
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,150
A medium amount of good pizza,
83
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,403
or all you can eat
of pretty good pizza?
84
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,780
[All] Medium
amount of good pizza.
85
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,615
(Michael sighs)
86
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:04,953
Oh, no, it's
bad. It's real bad!
87
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,624
It's like eating a
hot circle of garbage.
88
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,168
(air blowing)
89
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,425
What is going on here?
90
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,552
Angela needs me to
blow up 50 balloons
91
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,262
and find a famous person.
92
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,098
Stanley was an extra
in "Philadelphia."
93
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,766
So, just ask him.
94
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,600
Really?
95
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:28,643
(Jim agrees)
96
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:29,561
That would be
fun for everyone.
97
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,395
I think so.
98
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,271
Stanley!
99
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,106
What?
100
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:35,900
(whispering) Oh, yeah.
101
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,277
So you're gonna wanna
go through his agent.
102
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,653
[Pam] (whispering) Okay.
103
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,030
(whispering) They get
very testy about that stuff.
104
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:40,947
- (whispering) Right.
- Angela.
105
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,115
What kinda music?
106
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,617
(papers rustling)
107
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,287
"Something cool that Ryan
doesn't know about yet."
108
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,913
How am I supposed
to know what that is?
109
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,415
I don't know.
110
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,667
But standing here's not gonna
give you the answer. Go!
111
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:57,464
Tonight, my party
will be broadcast out
112
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,257
to five other states.
113
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,594
Which means it will be
compared to Denise Dim's party
114
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,428
in Buffalo.
115
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:08,600
Any idiot can defrost a
microwavable horderves platter.
116
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,437
And Denise proves that with
every party she throws.
117
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,688
Oh, and Denise?
118
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,607
Stop telling people your
hair is naturally curly.
119
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,025
We all know you get perms.
120
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:23,615
(sighs) You can pick
one of these things.
121
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,327
It's unreasonable for you
to ask me to do all of this.
122
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,620
It should take
you no time at all
123
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,581
if you put the care into
it that you normally do.
124
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,834
(notes crumpling)
125
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,127
Ow!
126
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,587
That seemed to shut her up.
127
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:42,467
You looking for
dinner and a movie?
128
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,011
'Cause you're not gonna
find it in that box.
129
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,683
It just so happens I know
where you can find it.
130
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,600
But again...
131
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,603
Not in the box.
132
00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,235
Angela, are you hearing
words that I'm saying?
133
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,319
What?
134
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,153
Hello.
135
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,115
I have been working on
a party for three weeks
136
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,533
that just got thrown
out the window.
137
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,785
So now I have to pull
together a whole new party.
138
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,453
And my useless number two quit,
139
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,247
so now there's no one
in charge of orchids,
140
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,332
chocolates, or the thing
that's made of ice.
141
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,042
And my upper back itches,
and it's itched all day,
142
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,293
and I can't reach it.
143
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,379
And Kevin had Greek
food for lunch again!
144
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:26,845
No. I will not be playing
it cool with Angela.
145
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:27,887
Let me tell you a little story.
146
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,180
When I was seventeen,
147
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,807
I was wait listed at
my number one school.
148
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,142
Even though I was a legacy
149
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,310
and I like a thousand
extra curriculars.
150
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,605
Mostly drama, madrigals,
barbershop club...
151
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:42,193
I was wait listed. Did I wait
on that list? No I did not.
152
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,112
I busted into the
admissions office
153
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,573
and I (singing) sang
them the reasons
154
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,534
they should admit
me to the school!
155
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,747
And guess what? I got in!
156
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,708
And here's the kicker.
157
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,625
That school?
158
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,128
Cornell.
159
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,717
(computer mouse clicking)
160
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,720
Cop pulled me over
for driving too slow.
161
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,722
She caught up to me on her bike.
162
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,599
Not a motorcycle, a bicycle.
163
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,269
(sighs) As she
kept pointing out.
164
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,103
Damn it!
165
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:19,981
Is that traffic school?
166
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,441
[Toby] Yeah.
167
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,068
Because we're not supposed
to be doing personal stuff
168
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:23,985
at work.
169
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,445
[Toby] Yeah.
170
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,238
Because yesterday, when I
was taking the online quiz
171
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,366
about trying to find my
ideal weight for my frame,
172
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,700
you said that
wasn't appropriate.
173
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,410
I remember.
174
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,122
[Kelly] Just reiterating
what you said to me.
175
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,749
Thanks, Kelly.
176
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,586
The lady cop acted like
she never pulled someone over
177
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,630
for driving too slow.
178
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,090
I tried to get out of it
179
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,134
with the famous "Toby Flenderson
Ten Thousand-Watt Smile."
180
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:51,721
It didn't work.
181
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,725
(phone ringing)
182
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,894
Yup?
183
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,229
[Pam] The Pizza By
Alfredo guy is here.
184
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,897
You don't have to
say it like that.
185
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,148
[Pam] I said it normal.
186
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,862
[Scott] Hey!
187
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,323
Hey. $63.50, and
that's not including tip.
188
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,491
Right.
189
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,618
I have a coupon,
so half of $63.50
190
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,870
and half the tip on
$63.50 would make it...
191
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,623
Half-off coupons only apply
to orders of two pizzas.
192
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,041
Yeah, no.
193
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,668
I told them on the phone I
was ordering eight pizzas.
194
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,003
I don't care you
told them on the phone,
195
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,212
that's our policy.
196
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,256
You didn't actually think
197
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,674
that I was going to
spend 60 bucks on pizza?
198
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,300
- [Kevin] It's not pizza!
- Okay.
199
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,970
It doesn't say it
anywhere on the coupon,
200
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,764
and if it's your policy, it
should say it on the coupon.
201
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,892
What do you mean? (grunts)
202
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:38,977
Not my problem.
203
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,186
It is your problem.
204
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,732
That's no way to
do business, okay?
205
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,527
I ordered eight pizzas
with a half-off coupon,
206
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,030
so I would like eight
pizzas for half-off.
207
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,031
End of story.
208
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,282
It's a great story.
209
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,868
It's $63.50, and that's
not including tip.
210
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,411
I'm not giving that to you.
211
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,830
Well, then you're not
getting your pizzas.
212
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,998
No. No! You're not, no!
213
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,625
You are not going anywhere!
214
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,920
You're going to stay here
until we figure this out!
215
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,796
What?
216
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:07,630
You know what?
217
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,507
This young man needs to learn
218
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,384
that that's not how
you treat people!
219
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,012
I don't care if it's pizza!
220
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,223
Good business is about
respect and accountability
221
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:18,391
and follow-through.
222
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,060
You don't just make promises
223
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,355
and pull the rug out from
under somebody, do you?
224
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,023
Dwight, please
escort this young man
225
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,149
into the conference room.
226
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,359
Right now! Get into
the conference room.
227
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,818
I'm not going in there!
228
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,195
Yeah, you are! Yeah, you are!
And you will come out
229
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,946
when you decide to give me
a discount on the pizza.
230
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:32,906
Please. Thank you!
231
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,617
This is stupid.
232
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,952
No! You don't even
know what stupid is!
233
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,664
It's about to get all
stupid up in here!
234
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,348
You find anything?
235
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,434
We think it's a
straightforward kidnapping.
236
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,144
Stanley, could you
look up accomplices?
237
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,729
Why can't you guys do it?
238
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,107
Because we're
looking up jail time.
239
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:07,899
Fine.
240
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,654
"Kidnapping is the
asportation of a person
241
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,948
against the person's will."
242
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:15,990
What?
243
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,368
So Michael 'asported' him.
244
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,164
I've seen this kid before.
245
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,416
He's one of the kids
that sneaks onto my farm
246
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,834
and steals my hemp.
247
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,168
Yeah, I know that guy.
248
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,379
He's that farmer that
grows really crappy weed.
249
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,470
(paper rustling)
250
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,222
You ready to give
me my discount now?
251
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,348
No.
252
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,599
(inhales sharply) Okay.
253
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,726
What have you been doing
in here this whole time?
254
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,227
What kind of business is this?
255
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,770
We're a paper company.
256
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,731
The best paper company in
the whole wide world, okay?
257
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,399
Alright. Dwight, knock it off.
258
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,527
You'd better think about what
you are doing, young man.
259
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,112
You better think
about what you're doing.
260
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:58,992
No! I'm an adult. I don't
have to think or do anything!
261
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,243
You're a kid.
262
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,078
You're a little,
snot-nosed punk kid
263
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,414
who thinks he's better
than everybody else,
264
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,874
because he's some hotshot.
265
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,418
And you don't know
anything about sales!
266
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,253
So stop being a disrespectful
little jerk, okay?
267
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,463
Sales?
268
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,797
Yes, sales. You sell pizza.
269
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,215
Last time I checked,
that's called sales.
270
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,216
You're such a loser.
271
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,384
What did you just call him?!
272
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,218
A loser.
273
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,345
What did you say?!
274
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,637
- [Pizza Guy] A loser.
- What?
275
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,847
- [Pizza Guy] A loser.
- What was that word?
276
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,974
Okay, stop. Stop. Stop
getting him to say it!
277
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,060
You just made this
worse. A whole lot worse.
278
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,186
I can make him talk, Michael.
279
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,228
I don't know.
280
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,897
- [Dwight] Michael!
- [Pam] Michael!
281
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,357
- I'm not going to jail again.
- [Stanley] We are accomplices.
282
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,399
[Michael] Stop
talking all at once!
283
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,317
You need to let him go.
284
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,610
Let go of little jerk boy?
285
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,320
Before he has
learned his lesson?
286
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,821
- Yes.
- You know what, Jim?
287
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,948
The world would
be a better place
288
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,909
if the world were held
accountable for their actions.
289
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,744
Yes, but not by
kidnapping them.
290
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,245
I'm not kidnapping him.
291
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,456
I'm keeping him until
I get what I want.
292
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:48,083
As a hostage.
293
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,417
I think you're
overthinking it.
294
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,252
(whispering) I think
you're under thinking it.
295
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,128
Yes! Is Alfredo there?
296
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,714
May I speak to a manager, then.
297
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,592
Okay, can you tell the manager
298
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,844
that I am keeping
his delivery kid
299
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,597
until I get my discount on
the eight pizzas I ordered?
300
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,058
Yes, I know it is
not on the coupon.
301
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:10,105
Also, I would him
to throw in two...
302
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,233
Three pizzas, um,
303
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,442
Just for our...
304
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,610
- Ransom.
- Trouble.
305
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,781
Okay. Alright.
306
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,200
(phone clattering)
307
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,076
What'd he say?
308
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,369
He said no.
309
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,620
- So we should let him go.
- No. No.
310
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:27,539
[Jim] (whispering) Okay.
311
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,251
(computer mouse clicking)
312
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,711
(Toby sighing)
313
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,963
How to describe
Toby's driving...
314
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,343
Imagine the movie "The Fast
and the Furious?" Right.
315
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,596
Imagine you're on your way
to the theater to see it,
316
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,598
and there's a guy in a Subaru
317
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,642
in front of you going
17 miles per hour.
318
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,061
He won't let you pass
him, has his hazards on.
319
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,106
Also, he's sweating
profusely. That's Toby.
320
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,359
You know the octagon
sign means stop.
321
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,193
Colorblind.
322
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,699
An octagon is a shape. You
can see shapes, can't you?
323
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,204
It's out of context. This
is not the same as driving.
324
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,665
You know how your grandmother
wants to keep driving
325
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,542
her car to assert
her independence
326
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,586
but she's the worst driver ever?
327
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,422
That's Toby.
328
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,884
Except my grandmother is a
little better driver than that.
329
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,011
Listen up, kid!
330
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,055
(balloon pops)
331
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,514
I don't like you.
332
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,434
But because some town
in Switzerland says so,
333
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,019
you have rights.
334
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,395
You will be fed.
335
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,189
You will be given a bathroom
break every third hour.
336
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,900
And you will be given the
opportunity to exercise.
337
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,611
(door knocking)
338
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,739
I have to hang these.
339
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,791
Why are you looking
at her like that?
340
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,625
Hey!
341
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,256
(door slamming)
342
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,388
What's going on?
343
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:07,389
Michael just called
the pizza place
344
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,640
with a list of demands.
345
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,058
Mr. Overdramatic.
What's up, Kevin?
346
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,851
We're getting
hungry out there.
347
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,979
We're all
accomplices now anyway,
348
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,065
so we figured we
might as well eat.
349
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,360
We would like to
order some good pizza,
350
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:23,446
from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe,
351
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,365
while we wait for
the hostage situation
352
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,534
with the bad pizza to end.
353
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,828
In every good hostage movie
354
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,996
during the part where
it gets really tense
355
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,082
and you don't know
whether the bad guys
356
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,626
are going to let the
hostages go free,
357
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,797
the cops order pizza.
358
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,594
I needed another hour.
359
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,096
It could have been
done in another hour.
360
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,305
I think it looks good.
361
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,642
That's why you're not
in charge, Meredith.
362
00:14:57,522 --> 00:15:00,817
Here you are, my dear.
One thing made of ice.
363
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,654
How did you...
364
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:07,907
Where'd you...
365
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,285
It's just ice. It'll
melt all over the floor.
366
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,703
Will you help me
put it over there?
367
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,662
[Andy] Yes, I will.
368
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,247
- Okay.
- Excuse me.
369
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:16,958
(whispering) I stole it.
370
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:21,254
(people chattering)
371
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,505
Thank God.
372
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:23,798
Michael?
373
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,717
Ryan wants to introduce
the branch managers
374
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,010
in a few minutes.
375
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,720
You just have to wave
and introduce yourself.
376
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,972
I'll just wave and
introduce myself.
377
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,725
- Hey. Quick question.
- Yeah?
378
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,602
If I take a pizza,
379
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,562
do you think you
could take some sodas
380
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,522
and some napkins up to the roof?
381
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,315
I'm all over it.
382
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,149
Oh good!
383
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,193
What do we got here?
384
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,737
- Good pizza.
- Yeah?
385
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,822
Cheese? Or do we
have other flavors?
386
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:48,865
Different stuff.
387
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,367
Which one is this? Perfect.
388
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,289
A toast! I'm gonna make it good.
389
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,294
To avoiding a class-two
felony charge.
390
00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,880
(Pam giggles)
391
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,348
Do you remember what you said
to me on my first day at work,
392
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,183
just before you walked
me over to my desk?
393
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,059
Yeah.
394
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:20,021
"Enjoy this moment, because
you're never going to go back
395
00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,732
to this time before you met
your desk mate, Dwight."
396
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,820
And that's why I knew. You?
397
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,364
You came up to my
desk and you said,
398
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,782
"This might sound weird,
399
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,411
and there's no reason
for me to know this,
400
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,704
but that mixed-berry yogurt
401
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,414
you're about to
eat has expired."
402
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,708
That was the moment that
you knew you liked me?
403
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,042
Yup.
404
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:41,876
Wow.
405
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,547
Can we make it a
different moment?
406
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,339
- Nope.
- Oh.
407
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,220
Can I start talking?
Is this thing on?
408
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,015
Give me a signal when
you want me to start.
409
00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:00,854
And now from my old hometown,
Scranton, Pennsylvania,
410
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,440
my former boss, Michael Scott.
411
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,067
Hey, I just think
you should know
412
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,695
that one of my salesmen
beat your stupid computer.
413
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,030
So take that, (censored)!
414
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,284
Always a jokester.
415
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,289
How about that
image? Crystal clear.
416
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,167
If anyone out
there is listening,
417
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,669
I am being held here
against my will.
418
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,920
(whispering) I'm a minor.
419
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,260
Ow! What are you doing?
420
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,179
You said your
upper back itched.
421
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,805
I didn't ask
you to scratch it.
422
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,307
Look, Angela.
423
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,933
I know this is weird
because we work together,
424
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,727
and because up until, and
possibly including now,
425
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,062
I've repulsed you.
426
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,439
(inhales sharply)
But I like you.
427
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,482
I'm not dating you.
428
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,945
So Angela is
stubborn as a mule.
429
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,741
She's giving off
fairly strong vibes
430
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,868
that she's not interested.
431
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,415
But do I like her or not?
432
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:08,213
Because if I like her,
then I can't back down.
433
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:13,134
If you're going number one,
you've got 10 more seconds!
434
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:23,561
Hey! (whispering) The way I
see it, it's getting late.
435
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:26,147
And the only thing standing
between you and a warm bed
436
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,108
is my friend's pizza discount.
437
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,193
So, what do you say?
438
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,988
Oh, so that's how
it's going to be.
439
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:38,368
Well, I can stay here
all night if I have to.
440
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:39,661
I've done it before.
441
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:40,912
I'm not scared of you.
442
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:45,500
(streamer flapping)
443
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,210
(Pizza Guy sighing)
444
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,129
(sighs) Hey,
have you seen Jim?
445
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,505
I guess he wanted
to get out of here
446
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:52,007
before the cops find out.
447
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,218
(Michael sighs)
448
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,052
(Dwight yelling)
449
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,637
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
450
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,513
What are you doing?!
451
00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,723
I'm just scaring him.
452
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,974
Now the trick is
to make him think
453
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:01,933
you're gonna do
something to him.
454
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,226
I can hear you, man.
455
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:04,853
Shut up, or I'm gonna
punch you in the throat!
456
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,354
Hey, hey, hey,
stop it. Stop it!
457
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,273
No. God. Oh my God!
458
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:12,944
Oh my God. Oh, no. No. (gasps)
459
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,197
(whispering) I kidnapped a kid!
460
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,867
(whispering) You had to.
What other choice did you have?
461
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,369
(whispering) I could
have paid for the pizza.
462
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,288
Well, yeah.
463
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,999
Want me to get him to not talk?
464
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,752
(whispering) No. Worse,
worse, you're making it worse.
465
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,378
Oh my God.
466
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,050
Is there anyway you
can get him to not talk
467
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,718
without making it worse?
468
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,969
I don't think so, no.
469
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:43,683
(sighs) Oh my God. Oh my God.
470
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,021
He's seen our faces.
471
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:49,564
We should have blindfolded
him when he first came in-
472
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,817
How does that help?! How
does that help, Dwight?
473
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,570
(phone ringing)
474
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:56,738
This is Michael.
475
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,073
[Ryan] Hello,
Michael. This is Ryan.
476
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,366
First off, thanks
for the shout out.
477
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,159
You're breaking
up. I can't hear you.
478
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,244
[Ryan] And why is there
a kid on your webcam
479
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,996
saying that he's being
held against his-
480
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,706
Mm 'kay.
481
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:11,294
I want you to go in there
482
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:15,298
and pay him for the pizzas
and give him a generous tip,
483
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:17,634
no more than 10%.
484
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,052
What will you do?
485
00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:21,971
(whispering) I
will open the door.
486
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,390
(whispering) Yeah.
487
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,642
(whispering) And
hopefully he will walk out.
488
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,146
(whispering) And the
rest is out of our hands.
489
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,484
So I'm paying full price?
490
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:35,610
[Michael] (whispering) Yes.
491
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,156
Here you go,
65. You know what?
492
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,158
Here's two more.
493
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,290
See ya. Drive safely.
494
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:53,044
Okay.
495
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,671
(inhales sharply) Now what?
496
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,216
Now we wait and hope
that nothing happens.
497
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:01,219
Alright.
498
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,679
Oh, I assume I'm going to be
reimbursed for the pizzas?
499
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,597
(whispering) Not now,
Dwight. Please, not the time.
500
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:09,894
I was a little buzzed,
but I knew what I was doing.
501
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,979
(Jim disagrees)
502
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,564
You looked so surprised!
503
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,150
Yeah, I didn't know you
were gonna kiss me that night!
504
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,735
One needs to prepare
for these things.
505
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,237
(Pam laughs)
506
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:23,658
What did you write
on the Christmas card?
507
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,118
What's that?
508
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,536
When I got the
teapot from Dwight,
509
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,413
there was a card
which I put on my desk
510
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,790
and after you came up to
talk to me, it was gone.
511
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,210
I don't, uh...
512
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,422
What? Why won't you tell me!
513
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,549
I'm with you now. You got me.
514
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:43,803
Will you tell me some day?
515
00:21:45,722 --> 00:21:47,182
No. I won't.
516
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,684
(Pam groans)
517
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:53,563
This is nice.
518
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,234
All we're missing
now is the fireworks.
519
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,033
(Pam giggles)
520
00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:07,285
Dwight and Kevin were lighting
them off in the parking lot.
521
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,579
What are you talking about?
522
00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:13,083
The last time we were
up here on our first date.
523
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:16,378
Yes, that's what it was,
our first real date.
524
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,254
They were lighting fireworks.
525
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:22,717
Very funny.
526
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:23,426
(Jim laughs)
527
00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:24,636
We were on the roof
528
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:27,639
and Dwight and Kevin
were lighting fireworks?
529
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,392
Yeah! It was right after
we read Michael's screenplay.
530
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,936
Oh, I remember that!
Agent Michael Scarn.
531
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:33,853
Right.
532
00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:34,896
(Pam giggles)
533
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:35,980
And then we came
up and ate dinner.
534
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,401
Jim, I don't want to take
this memory away from you.
535
00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:40,777
It sounds so lovely.
536
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,241
Yeah right. There's no
way you don't remember that!
537
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,118
Okay, I'm going
to say something
538
00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:49,911
and I don't want
you to get upset.
539
00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,872
Are you sure you weren't
up here with someone else?
540
00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,916
Like, Karen maybe?
541
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,334
Karen? No!
542
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:59,087
- Or Katie?
- Katie?!
543
00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:01,381
Pam, you have to remember this.
544
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:03,466
It bought me hope for
like another year.
545
00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:07,971
(keyboard clicking)
546
00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:08,805
Yeah!
547
00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,519
(phone ringing)
548
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:17,313
Hello? Hey. Hang on a second.
549
00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:23,445
(phone ringing)
550
00:23:23,486 --> 00:23:26,031
Hello? Hang on.
551
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:31,786
(phone clattering)
552
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:41,129
♪ If you change your mind ♪
553
00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:43,381
♪ I'll be first in line ♪
554
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,842
♪ Honey I'm still free ♪
555
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:48,136
♪ Take chance on me ♪
556
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:50,472
♪ If you need me let me know ♪
557
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,474
♪ Going to be around ♪
558
00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:54,642
♪ If you got no place to go ♪
559
00:23:54,684 --> 00:23:57,270
♪ If you're feeling down ♪
560
00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:59,647
♪ If you're all alone ♪
561
00:23:59,689 --> 00:24:02,150
♪ When the pretty
birds have flown ♪
562
00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:04,277
♪ Honey I'm still free ♪
563
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,696
♪ Take a chance on me ♪
564
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:09,157
♪ Gonna do my very best ♪
565
00:24:09,199 --> 00:24:11,284
♪ And that ain't no lie ♪
566
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,411
♪ If you put me to the test ♪
567
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,663
♪ If you let me try ♪
568
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:18,875
♪ Take a chance on me ♪
569
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,337
That's all I ask of you, Angela.
570
00:24:22,379 --> 00:24:23,922
Take a chance!
571
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,715
- [Phone 1] Take a chance!
- [Phone 2] Take a chance!
572
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:26,966
Take a chance!
573
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:34,557
[All] (harmonizing) On me!
574
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:50,699
[Phone 1] Hey, how'd it go?
575
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:51,991
[Phone 2] Yeah.
What did she say?
576
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:53,827
I don't know yet. I
have to call you back.
577
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:55,203
[Phone 2] You gotta
give us something-
578
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,246
I'll call you back!
579
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:58,915
(buttons clicking)
580
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:01,001
I have to go clean
up after the party.
581
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:18,893
(door knocking)
582
00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,478
What a horrible day.
583
00:25:22,230 --> 00:25:25,692
(Dwight and Michael groan)
584
00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:28,278
Well, I need to get the
horrible taste of this pizza
585
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:29,446
out of my mouth.
586
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:32,157
I'd really like some sushi.
587
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:36,453
I was hoping that I would have
New York-style sushi today.
588
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:37,495
And you know what?
589
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,040
- What?
- I'm gonna get it.
590
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:42,500
Coopers has calamari.
591
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,085
(disagrees) No.
592
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:45,920
There's only one place to
get authentic New York-style
593
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:46,921
sushi.
594
00:25:46,963 --> 00:25:48,923
- Tokyo?
- New York.
595
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,383
- You wanna go?
- Yes.
596
00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:52,761
- Alright. You drive.
- Okay!
597
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:54,512
There were grilled cheeses?
598
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:58,058
I made them down in the kitchen?
599
00:25:58,099 --> 00:25:58,933
I found a tomato-
600
00:25:58,975 --> 00:25:59,809
Hold on!
601
00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:03,188
I remember the tomato!
602
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:07,067
You suck!
603
00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,152
(laughs) Tell me what
was on the Christmas card.
604
00:26:09,194 --> 00:26:10,528
Not now. Certainly not now!
605
00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:12,072
- I'm gonna find out.
- Never!
606
00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:14,532
Do you still have it?
607
00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:23,500
You know what?
608
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:26,127
This party doesn't look
like it was all that great.
609
00:26:26,169 --> 00:26:28,463
It does not! Check that out.
610
00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:30,090
- [Dwight] Nice.
- [Scott] Here we go.
611
00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:31,341
Woo-hoo!
612
00:26:31,383 --> 00:26:33,134
(Michael and Dwight
moan in satisfaction)
613
00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:35,804
I'm sorry. You guys are
going to have to leave.
614
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:38,181
(muffled) Hey! You know what?
615
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,521
(muffled) Come on,
come on. Let's go!
616
00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:52,278
(cars honking)
617
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,947
Hey, you're the Scranton guy?
618
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,366
Guilty!
619
00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:58,284
(laughs) I liked
your statement tonight.
620
00:26:58,326 --> 00:26:59,577
Oh. Thanks.
621
00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:03,540
This is the guy that
beat the computer.
622
00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:05,000
Oh, very cool.
623
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,543
Yeah, it was funny to see
Ryan all embarrassed by that.
624
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:09,004
(men laughing)
625
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:09,796
See you later!
626
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:12,632
Later on!
627
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:14,175
(Michael laughs)
628
00:27:14,217 --> 00:27:15,677
(mimicking Ryan) I'm Ryan,
629
00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:18,555
and tonight didn't go the
way that I thought it would
630
00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:21,933
because it didn't
work out for me
631
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:25,937
and I'm very embarrassed and
I have egg all over my face.
632
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:28,690
(mimicking Ryan) And I
spent so much time in Scranton
633
00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:30,400
but I never any sold any paper.
634
00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,193
(mimicking Ryan) I
never sold any paper
635
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,820
because I'm an idiot.
636
00:27:33,862 --> 00:27:35,488
(mimicking Ryan) I started
a fire with my cheese pita.
637
00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:37,240
I dated an Indian girl.
638
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:39,159
(Michael and Dwight laughing)
639
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,952
(mimicking Ryan) I started
a fire. I started a fire.
640
00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:42,787
(mimicking Ryan)
And now I got a beard.
641
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,330
(mimicking Ryan) And
I get everything I want.
642
00:27:44,372 --> 00:27:46,750
(mimicking Ryan) And I got
a new suit. And I'm your boss.
643
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:48,209
(mimicking Ryan) Because
I'm hot. I'm so hot.
644
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:50,211
That's why everybody... - I
don't, I don't get...
645
00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:51,546
I don't understand that.
646
00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:52,756
Well, it's part of
it. It's just stuff.
647
00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:56,593
(Michael groans)
648
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:05,060
(Michael sighs)
649
00:28:10,398 --> 00:28:11,775
Wanna head back?
650
00:28:12,942 --> 00:28:14,069
(whispering) Yeah, let's go.
651
00:28:23,995 --> 00:28:26,623
(car starting)
652
00:28:35,173 --> 00:28:36,966
You know, it goes along
with Ryan's launch.
653
00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:38,635
His 'Infinity Campaign?'
654
00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:42,722
So theme of the party
is infinity, I made infinity cookies.
655
00:28:42,764 --> 00:28:44,265
They are delicious.
656
00:28:44,307 --> 00:28:46,226
I took candles that
were the figure-eight
657
00:28:46,267 --> 00:28:47,977
and turned them on their side
658
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:50,438
so that they formed
infinity symbols.
659
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,816
Kevin came back in
and set them all up.
660
00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:54,984
I put them on their side again.
661
00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:58,071
I am going to make sure that
no one forgets this party.
662
00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:00,323
That it will live
on in infinity.
663
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:04,369
A lot of guys say they want
something to hold on to.
664
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:07,122
But I don't get that.
665
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:10,166
I mean, what kind of
speed are we talking about
666
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:12,961
where I'd actually need
to hold on to something?
667
00:29:13,003 --> 00:29:14,921
A lot of guys say "the
bigger the cushion,
668
00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,423
the better the pushin'."
669
00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:19,134
I've modified that phrase:
670
00:29:20,552 --> 00:29:23,263
"The smaller the cushion,
the better the pushin'."
671
00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:26,808
Women come in all
shapes and sizes,
672
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:29,269
but we had an old
saying in my fraternity:
673
00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:34,024
"It's good to have
sex!" So... (laughs)
674
00:29:34,065 --> 00:29:37,152
(upbeat rave music)
675
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:47,370
("The Office Theme"
by Daniel Tidwell)
47989
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