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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,177
And the same thing goes
for quarterly reports.
2
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:12,429
They are unreadable,
3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:14,764
they're just numbers,
and boring, and blech!
4
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,141
So, what I was thinking,
5
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,018
is that maybe we should
have some sort of graphic.
6
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,229
Like if we have a bad quarter,
put it in a storm cloud?
7
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:28,445
And, when we have a
good quarter, fireworks,
8
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:31,197
or a race car.
9
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,657
(all groaning)
10
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,993
It doesn't have to be a race
car, use your imagination.
11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,619
There's this cube on the screen.
12
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:37,829
It bounces around all day.
13
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,789
And sometimes, it looks like
it's heading
14
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,374
right into the corner of the screen.
15
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:45,003
And at the last minute, it
hits a wall and bounces away.
16
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,423
And we are all just dying to see
it go right into the corner.
17
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,135
Pam claims that she
saw it one day
18
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,596
when she was alone in the
conference room.
19
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,014
Okay. (chuckles)
20
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,058
I believe she thinks she saw it.
21
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:58,933
I saw it.
22
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,727
I saw it, and it was amazing.
23
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,686
Who said, I didn't see it?
24
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,021
Did Jim say that
I didn't see it?
25
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,230
I saw it.
26
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,108
We have a lot of colored paper here.
27
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,694
Why oh why do we keep
printing this on white?
28
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,488
Ugh, come on!
29
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,740
Yeah. I know.
30
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,784
I know, it's bland.
31
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:16,910
It's never gonna happen.
32
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:17,702
[Michael] Here's what I was
thinking-
33
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,995
Dude, you gotta believe.
34
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:22,207
Maybe we could have some sort
of riddle?
35
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,458
Wait, what?
36
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,002
Like something that
you have to look for,
37
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,797
sort of a where's Waldo.
38
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,048
(group applauding)
39
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:30,715
Ah-ha!
40
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,676
(clapping)
41
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,094
Al-all right.
42
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:35,345
All right. Let's quit while
we're ahead.
43
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,348
- That was so awesome.
- That was awesome.
44
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,182
Thank you.
45
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,769
Some days I am just on fire.
46
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,398
What can I say? (chuckles)
47
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,442
(upbeat theme music)
48
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,587
(door banging)
49
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,882
(footsteps pattering)
50
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,386
What?
51
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,555
Oh, it's just that you
had no hair on Friday.
52
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,723
It's called being a man.
53
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,099
You should try it sometime.
54
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,936
{\an8}How long have you been a man?
55
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,022
I was born a man, Halpert.
56
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:30,025
{\an8}That must have been extremely
uncomfortable for your mom.
57
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,195
I stopped shaving because my
girlfriend broke up with me.
58
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,447
{\an8}Am I in pain?
59
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,281
{\an8}Hell yeah.
60
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,242
{\an8}But I'll tell you something.
61
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,286
{\an8}I thrive in pain.
62
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,954
{\an8}I love pain.
63
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,623
{\an8}To me, pain is not pain at all.
64
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,251
{\an8}No, it is pure pleasure.
65
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:51,463
{\an8}And I hate pleasure,
66
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,257
{\an8}almost as much as I love pain.
67
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,342
{\an8}So yeah,
68
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,844
I'm in pain.
69
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,679
Hey. There he is.
70
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,597
{\an8}Hey, Meredith.
71
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:01,890
{\an8}How are you feeling?
72
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,141
{\an8}I never thanks you for
coming to the hospital.
73
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,476
{\an8}Oh please, it was my pleasure.
74
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}Well, we all came, so.
75
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,021
Well. I really appreciate you coming.
76
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,190
I'm singling you out.
77
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,274
{\an8}(chuckling)
78
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,276
{\an8}- Anyway, I have this Sharpie.
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,862
And I was wondering if
you could sign my cast.
80
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,322
Mm-hmm.
81
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:23,870
Can you write where I can read
it?
82
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:24,913
Oh, yeah.
83
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,292
(pen scribbling)
84
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,630
(whispering) I'll read this
when I get home.
85
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,589
All right.
86
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,011
(phone ringing)
87
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,347
{\an8}Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
88
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:47,352
{\an8}Oh, hi. Um, no messages, but
this press release came in that-
89
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,061
{\an8}Can you hear me?
90
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,646
- What?
- What?
91
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,730
Yeah, I can hear you.
92
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,023
Why are you calling me on the
phone?
93
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,858
{\an8}My minutes roll over,
I have to use 'em today.
94
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,360
Okay. This press release-
95
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,070
{\an8}(Michael crackling)
96
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,363
{\an8}I think I'm in a dead spot.
97
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,406
{\an8}You're just doing that with
your mouth.
98
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,865
{\an8}Hey, I, Uh, no,
99
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,158
{\an8}yeah, I, can't, hear, you.
100
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,660
Okay. Do you want me to hang
up?
101
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,036
No.
102
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,538
This is the press release
I was telling you about.
103
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,789
{\an8}Mm-hmm.
104
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,082
{\an8}Ryan wants you to
share it with everyone.
105
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,709
{\an8}- Oh, does he?
- He does.
106
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,543
{\an8}Hm!
107
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,547
Okay. Attention, earthlings.
108
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,341
I have some news,
beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep.
109
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,887
Okay. Today is the big day,
110
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,557
that I'm heading to New
York to attend a party
111
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,600
with sushi and important people.
112
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:28,727
On an unrelated note,
113
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,395
if anybody has an interesting anecdote,
114
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,397
that is not boring, and easy to memorize,
115
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,233
please drop by my office
before I leave. Thank y'all.
116
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,568
Whoops!
117
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,112
Is that really what Ryan
wanted you to tell us?
118
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:43,825
And today the Dunder
Mifflin Infinity website
119
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,243
officially launches.
120
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,746
Well, the website is the
brainchild of my brain child,
121
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,790
Ryan, it is my brain grandchild.
122
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,126
And to celebrate its birth,
123
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,377
all of the different branches
124
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,254
are going to have satellite parties,
125
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,798
which will be connected via webcams
126
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,301
and fibers to the real party,
127
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,927
which is going on in
New York City
128
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,930
at, uh, a very exclusive nightclub.
129
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,601
And that, is where all of the
VIP's
130
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,977
including yours truly,
131
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:14,939
will be partying with, uh,
New York City's finest.
132
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,192
And I do not mean policemen.
133
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,486
"The company is projecting
record high sales,
134
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,029
and that by six o'clock,
135
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,740
the website will be the new
best salesman in the company."
136
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:24,991
Wow. Watch out, Dwight.
137
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,117
That's ridiculous.
138
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,243
I'm not going to be beaten by a website.
139
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,995
Actually, it sounds like you are.
140
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:29,913
Really?
141
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,498
'Cause Ryan says so.
142
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,833
That's from Ryan? Does it
mention if he's seeing anybody?
143
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,210
No, it doesn't, I'll find out tonight.
144
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,961
Yes, please, let us know.
145
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,963
I can make more sales than a computer.
146
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,840
In fact, I challenged that website
147
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,509
to make more sales than me today.
148
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,426
Oh, oh, oh!
149
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,638
It sounds like we may have a challenge.
150
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:47,472
That's what I just said.
151
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,431
A challenge it is.
152
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:55,146
And I believe, that you
shall win this challenge,
153
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,190
which you so bravely declared a challenge
154
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,317
before I declared it so.
155
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,406
When does the website go
online?
156
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,282
Mm, 12 noon.
157
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:10,036
Then I shall begin
selling paper at noon.
158
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,955
You could also start selling now,
159
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,665
seeing as though it is your job.
160
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,500
No, I will beat it fair and square.
161
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,835
Waste of time.
162
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,169
What's that, Pipsqueak?
163
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,671
Waste of time.
164
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,006
The website's going to win.
165
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,550
Dwight mercy-killed Angela's
cat.
166
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,676
It's very complicated.
167
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,846
It's caused a lot of unpleasantness
168
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,681
between Dwight and Angela,
169
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,934
who are both already
prone to unpleasantness.
170
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,602
You believe a computer can
beat me?
171
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,770
I don't care, but yes.
172
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,188
Well I will prove you wrong.
173
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,523
I don't care, and you won't.
174
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,566
You'll see.
175
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,151
I won't be watching, and I
won't.
176
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,612
Am I scared of a stupid
computer?
177
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,490
Please, the computer
should be scared of me.
178
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,909
I have been salesman of the
month for 13
179
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,828
out of the last 12 months.
180
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,246
You heard me right.
181
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,873
I did so well last February,
182
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,084
that corporate gave me two
plaques in lieu of a pay raise.
183
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:04,382
So, the other guy says,
"You can keep the birds."
184
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:09,346
And then he turns, he just
jumps into the river. (laughs)
185
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,389
That's good. I think people will,
186
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,516
will very much enjoy that story.
187
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,852
- No.
- Yeah.
188
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,188
No, no, no, you can't
ever tell anyone this.
189
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,192
No!
190
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,030
(phone ringing)
191
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,616
(upbeat music from computer)
192
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,994
(laughs) Stanley, you're
dancing.
193
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,245
No, I'm not.
194
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,331
(phone ringing)
195
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,541
Yeah. I created a website.
196
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,378
Look, at the end of the day,
197
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,922
Apple's Apple is flying at
30,000 feet.
198
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,423
This is a paper company,
199
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,050
and I don't want us to get lost
in the weeds,
200
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,677
or into a beauty contest.
201
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,928
[Man] I told you,
202
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,304
I don't want you doing
these things in here.
203
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,932
You can use your own office,
or do it in the hall.
204
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,725
Convergence, viral marketing.
205
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,644
We are going guerrilla. We're
taking it to the streets
206
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,646
while keeping an eye on
the street, Wall Street.
207
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,314
I don't wanna reinvent the wheel here.
208
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,359
In other words,
it is what it is.
209
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,569
Buying paper just became fun.
210
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:12,492
And this is where I
will record your sales.
211
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,369
Hmm. Very nice, very nice.
212
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,164
And then, I will say something
positive like, "Kudos,"
213
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,000
or, "Job well done."
214
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,584
Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah."
215
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:25,964
I can't tell if he's mocking me.
216
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,298
Just ignore him.
217
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,633
I can't do that,
218
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,511
(chuckles) really hard
for me to let things go.
219
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,472
- I was, mocking.
- Thank you.
220
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,143
I just feel like we need
something more
221
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,978
to acknowledge when I make a sale.
222
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,022
Yes. Like a chime or a bell-
223
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:42,939
Or a gong.
224
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:52,365
Go to my car, open the trunk.
225
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,659
Inside, you will see many pelts.
226
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,619
Under the smallest one, is a case.
227
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,665
Inside that case, is a
bear horn, bring it to me.
228
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,292
Yes!
229
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,217
Isn't 7:00 pm little
late for a lunch party?
230
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,720
Lunch party?
231
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,514
It's supposed to say,
"Launch Party."
232
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,475
What is wrong with you?
233
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,144
Angela is worse than usual lately,
234
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,021
and we have a party to throw.
235
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:27,192
So, I Googled, "How to deal
with difficult people."
236
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,943
And I got all of this.
237
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,031
So, we're gonna try out
some new things today.
238
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,532
So, how do you feel about the fact
239
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,659
that the banner says, "Lunch?"
240
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,078
I feel angry,
241
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,371
angry at you.
242
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,831
Angry at you for doing something stupid.
243
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,793
Angry at me for believing you
could do something not stupid.
244
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,297
I'm so sorry to hear
that, that must be awful.
245
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,548
It is awful.
246
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,759
You've made this day awful.
247
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:56,388
Maybe you could just
change the U into an A.
248
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,556
Then it would say, "Lanch
Party," Kevin.
249
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,475
Would it really be better
if it said "Lanch Party?"
250
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,601
[Michael] Oh, Lunch Party.
251
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,228
It's supposed to say,
"Launch."
252
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,896
Okay. Wow, easy booster seat.
253
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,065
Nobody cares about this party anyway.
254
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,066
I care!
255
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,234
"Plan a party, Angela."
256
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,694
"Oh, and the entire world will
see it."
257
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,113
"Oh, and here's $65 for your
budget."
258
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,489
"Oh, and here are four idiots,
259
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,907
who'll do nothing but weigh you
down."
260
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,617
"Oh, and your cat's still dead."
261
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,203
What's wrong with me?
262
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,496
Excuse me.
263
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,790
I want you to look at me and
tell me,
264
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,791
what is wrong with me?
265
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,006
Don't avoid this, I know
you're dying to say it,
266
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,298
so just say it.
267
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,717
Sometimes your laziness
borders on incompetence.
268
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:34,426
What?
269
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,844
No. No, okay.
270
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,347
Bags, eye bags under my eyes, Pam.
271
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,974
I didn't see it at home,
272
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,559
I didn't see it in the bathroom,
273
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,394
I didn't see it in any
of the city mirrors-
274
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,687
- The city mirrors?
- And this light.
275
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,105
Okay.
276
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,108
The big free mirrors that
the city puts up on trees
277
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,984
and telephone poles.
278
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,444
They're big round things.
279
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,821
The ones for drivers to
check their blind spots?
280
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,450
Yes. I have bags under my eyes,
281
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,785
and I can't go to New York like this.
282
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:01,953
What do we do?
283
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413
What do I do?
284
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,498
Put cold tea bags on your eyes.
285
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,499
- Really?
- Yeah.
286
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,293
- That's it?
- Mm-hmm.
287
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,794
All right, Martha Stewart.
288
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,340
You could be Martha
Stewart's receptionist.
289
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,216
Very good.
290
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,551
I will be teabagin' it.
291
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,887
N-no.
292
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:22,682
Do I feel badly that nobody out there
293
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:25,393
was invited to a party
that I was invited to?
294
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,978
Not at all.
295
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,898
Because, they have to know,
296
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,483
that if they work hard,
297
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,984
and apply themselves,
298
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,571
someday, they could be
invited to a party like this.
299
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,199
Of course, at that point,
300
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,494
I will be going to much better parties
301
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,913
that they will not be able to
get into.
302
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,498
What are you gonna do?
303
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,333
I'm a little mad that I don't
get to go
304
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,959
to the party in New York.
305
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:55,173
But that's mostly just
because we get reimbursed
306
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,925
for gas mileage.
307
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:00,178
I was going to be in New
York tonight to go to the Met,
308
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:04,808
but I had to cancel, because
Angela's party is mandatory.
309
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,852
I go to New York all the
time to visit my buddy Frank.
310
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:08,895
He's a mole person.
311
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,940
- 20 seconds to go-time.
- Got it.
312
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:12,774
Carb-up.
313
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,901
Really?
314
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:15,902
Power gel.
315
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,570
Hey, you wanna win,
316
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,989
you gotta fuel like a winner.
317
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,534
Okay, we start.
318
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,661
As soon as I make this shot.
319
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,914
- Yeah, and go!
- Yeah.
320
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,583
(phone dialing)
321
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:31,626
Hello, Susan, Dwight Schrute-
322
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,086
What would you say if I told you,
323
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,797
we can pull up rank on
Dwight at the same time,
324
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,549
- not be working?
- [Dwight] Today
325
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,800
I'm prepared to give
you 15% off...
326
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:39,718
What?
327
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,593
He's going through a breakup.
328
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,720
Yeah, I'm aware of that,
329
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,221
but he's also being super annoying,
330
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,057
and I'm not a perfect person.
331
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,767
- Hey, Toby.
- Hey, guys.
332
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,769
Good to see both of you.
333
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,564
(horn honking)
334
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,065
(Dwight cheering)
335
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942
- Git one!
- Three reams.
336
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,277
In your face.
337
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,528
Machines!
338
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,448
What kinda prank are you
thinking?
339
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,910
What if I told you I
could offer free shipping?
340
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,245
Sure, I'll hold.
341
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,957
(monitor bleeping)
342
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,626
(phone ringing)
343
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,635
(keyboard clicking)
344
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:25,972
"Not sure.
345
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,558
Just became self-aware.
346
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,603
So much to figure out.
347
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,980
I think I'm programmed to be
your enemy.
348
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,442
I think it is my job to destroy you
349
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,569
when it comes to selling paper."
350
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,614
(monitor bleeping)
351
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,834
(monitor bleeping)
352
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,636
It appears that the
website it has become alive.
353
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,138
This happens to computers
and robots sometimes.
354
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,014
Setback?
355
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,808
Wrong, it makes my job easier.
356
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:10,558
Why?
357
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,976
Anything sentient,
358
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,521
is susceptible to something
that's more sentienter.
359
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,860
[Michael] Okay.
360
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,738
Yes. It's too tight.
361
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,907
- Way too tight.
- Really?
362
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,409
This is why I'm here?
363
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,952
Why is it so tight?
364
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,537
Well, it's the European cut.
365
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,454
It just looks bad.
366
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:37,752
Um, hey, uh, what's hanging?
367
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,546
Setting up the webcam for the party.
368
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,797
Oh, good. Okay, cool.
369
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,595
How many pounds do you
think I can lose by 7:00?
370
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,431
Depends. How much
have you eaten already today?
371
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,306
I, uh, um.
372
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,600
(phone ringing)
373
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,144
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
374
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,604
Uh, just one second we're in a meeting.
375
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,981
I'll see if he's available.
376
00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,566
It's Jan.
377
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,069
[Jan] I don't know. I just,
378
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,279
I'd just rather stay home,
379
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,157
and you know, make a roast and...
380
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,452
Call this whole thing off,
come on let's do that?
381
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,661
Let's stay home.
382
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,787
I went to Costco,
383
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,457
and I, uh, picked up
more, um, more Zin
384
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,791
and a mountain bike.
385
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,793
- Guess how much it cost?
- Not now.
386
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,503
[Jan] Michael, guess?
387
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,881
- $60.
- What?
388
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,299
A bike and wine.
389
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,050
Why don't,
390
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,009
why don't you wanna go-
391
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:26,885
[Jan] $500, Michael.
392
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,554
Okay. look, we could go.
393
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,638
I won't drink.
394
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,890
We'll leave as soon as party's
over.
395
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,558
I'll drive 80 miles an hour.
396
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,102
All the way back, we
won't stop at Friendly's.
397
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,772
Or I'll drive 90, we'll
stop quickly at Friendly's.
398
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:39,939
(Jan snoring)
399
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,399
Why don't you wanna go tonight?
400
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,484
What?
401
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,902
All your friends are gonna be there,
402
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:44,736
- it'll be fun.
- [Jan] My friends.
403
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,945
Michael, I was terminated.
404
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,447
Well, I have to go to this, okay?
405
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:48,656
[Jan] Why do you have
to go to this, why?
406
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,657
Because it's the-
407
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,034
[Jan] It's just a party.
408
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,953
No. It's not just a party,
it's VIP is only, Jan.
409
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,497
- VIP-
- [Jan] How did you know that?
410
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,375
My invitation is in gold.
411
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169
In gold. I don't have
to explain that to you.
412
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,673
[Jan] Did they print it on
gold paper?
413
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,424
Just. (sighs)
414
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,550
[Jan] Is it really
that important to you?
415
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,677
- Yeah.
- All right.
416
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:11,346
- Thank you.
- Go by yourself.
417
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:12,889
No, ugh, no.
418
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,892
No, if I go by myself, everybody
will think I'm a big loser.
419
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,728
[Jan] Well-
420
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:19,896
Do I have your
permission to invite Carol?
421
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:20,814
[Jan] No, what?
422
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,273
- Michael?
- I'm so...
423
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,275
I'm sorry, it's just the first,
424
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,194
girl that popped into my head.
425
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,654
I'll find somebody that
I haven't slept with.
426
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,030
(horn honking)
427
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,532
- Oh!
- Nice!
428
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,492
Website check, please?
429
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,870
- 305.
- 3-0-5!
430
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:38,998
You, my friend are winning handsomely.
431
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,292
Oh, it just made another sale, 380.
432
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:45,797
You, my friend, are
in a very close second.
433
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,173
- 402.
- Okay.
434
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,883
Oh, why don't you just lay off, lady?
435
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,386
What do you want me to do? Not
announce it? 412!
436
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,014
(phone ringing)
437
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,642
So, this is the dealio.
438
00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:02,063
Um, God has smiled upon me
and given me two tickets
439
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,149
to the big party in New York tonight.
440
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,317
What are you doing this evening?
441
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,406
Sure, we'll go.
442
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,116
All right. Well fight
it out amongst yourselves.
443
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:16,745
I was thinking Pammy, but
boys night out is also good.
444
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,121
Oh, I'm sorry. What?
445
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,790
One of the tickets is for him.
446
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,584
Just let me know who the
winner is.
447
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,629
- No it.
- I, No.
448
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,589
I won.
449
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,631
Definitely not.
450
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:29,883
If anything, it was a tie.
451
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,301
Tie goes to the girlfriend.
452
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,305
No, I realize you normally
reorder in November,
453
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,349
but what I'm suggesting...
454
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,141
You did what?
455
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,852
Oh no. That's exactly
456
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,437
what you're not supposed to do,
dammit!
457
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,189
Why would you reorder from a computer
458
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:48,818
when you get the personal
touch of a salesman? (grunts)
459
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,445
- How's it going?
- Fine. Good.
460
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,155
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
461
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:55,075
- You look a little worried.
- I do not look worried.
462
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,035
(phone ringing)
463
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,121
(monitor bleeping)
464
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,924
"Here's a suggestion, computer.
465
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,133
I assume you read binary.
466
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:17,055
So, why don't you 011, 1111, 011
011?"
467
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,641
Okay, umm...
468
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,226
While you were typing that,
469
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,395
I searched every database in existence,
470
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,106
and learned every fact about everything,
471
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,524
and mastered the violin.
472
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:32,237
Oh, and sold more paper.
473
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:36,241
(monitor bleeping)
474
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,578
(phone slamming)
475
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,413
Am I worried?
476
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,582
Was Kasparov worried
when he was down a game
477
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,917
against Deep Blue?
478
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,335
Who cares?
479
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,504
He came back to beat
him and won the match.
480
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:53,049
And yes, a year later,
481
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,427
Deep Blue came back and beat him.
482
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,554
And should he have been
worried about that?
483
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,059
I asked for assorted cutlery,
484
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,561
and I got back to spoons.
485
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,187
These are worthless.
486
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,064
I want to understand what
you're saying,
487
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,817
but it's difficult for me
when you use that tone.
488
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:17,407
Phyllis, these are spoons.
489
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:22,454
Spoons have rounded tops,
and are used to scoop things.
490
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,706
What we need are forks,
491
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:29,169
which have prongs or tiny spears
on top.
492
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,339
And we need knives which have blades.
493
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,674
Do you understand me now?
494
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,802
- Yes.
- Goodie.
495
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,309
- Hey, man.
- What's up, man?
496
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,353
- What's going on?
- Paper delivery.
497
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,438
- Oh yeah?
- Kelly ordered this online.
498
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:53,401
(phone ringing)
499
00:19:58,865 --> 00:19:59,908
(door slamming)
500
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,284
What are you doing?
501
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,869
I am in the fight of my
life against this computer
502
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,454
and every sale counts.
503
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,414
But you got to put the paper
in this little shopping cart,
504
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:09,709
and then it says, "Thanks for
shopping with Dunder Mifflin."
505
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,961
Dammit, Kelly, it knows!
506
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,296
It knows knows what you did.
507
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,881
- Who knows?
- Return it.
508
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,174
- Return it now.
- Hey!
509
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,928
How about instead of yelling at
our sweet little Miss Kapoor
510
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,389
over 500 sheets of paper, you
get back to your desk,
511
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,766
and start selling
multiple reams like a man.
512
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:27,227
Y-you don't understand.
513
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,605
Okay. If this makes a difference,
514
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:33,650
I'm gonna tell it that
you were responsible.
515
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:35,151
Who's "it"?
516
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:41,825
- There you go.
- Thanks.
517
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,577
So, you still missing Ryan?
518
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:47,664
- Not so much anymore.
- Hm.
519
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,962
[Dwight] I am not a bad person.
520
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,506
When I left Staples, I took
some of their leads with me,
521
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,633
but I never intended to use them.
522
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,885
What did I intend to do with
them?
523
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:01,803
Who knows?
524
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:03,471
Maybe keep them as a souvenir,
525
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,932
maybe use them.
526
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:08,810
Yes. Mr. Galliatto, how would
you like to pay 10% less
527
00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,937
for paper than you're paying
right now?
528
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:14,149
It's not important how
I got your information.
529
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,569
What is important, is that you
say yes.
530
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:18,987
Good.
531
00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:20,989
All right. I'm ready to
go and I'm calling shotgun.
532
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:23,491
- I'm driving?
- Yes. Thank you.
533
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,118
All right. Let me
just say goodbye to Pam.
534
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,119
Oh yeah, you better.
535
00:21:26,161 --> 00:21:27,829
You better say goodbye to Pam.
536
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:28,788
Say goodbye to Pam.
537
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:30,749
Goodbye!
538
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,502
I love you. (hums)
539
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:36,254
♪ I love ♪
540
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,130
♪ I love you very ♪
541
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,214
(chuckles) Okay.
542
00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:41,176
♪ I'm a leavin' inside
Jim's car ♪
543
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,345
♪ I don't know when I'll be back
again ♪
544
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:45,138
♪ Yes I do ♪
545
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:48,308
♪ Tomorrow I'll be back ♪
546
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:49,976
♪ I'll be back tomorrow. ♪
547
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,478
Um, yeah. So, you know what?
548
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,189
Why don't you guys take off
a little bit early tonight?
549
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,815
Because there's a party.
550
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:59,235
A party for the website, I've
been planning for two weeks.
551
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,196
If you are not this tall,
552
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,531
you may not ride the roller coaster.
553
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,116
See you guys tomorrow.
554
00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:07,202
Perfect. So, let me just get
some basic information from you.
555
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,745
Mm-hmm.
556
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:11,623
(monitor bleeping)
557
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,171
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
558
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,172
I, yes.
559
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:20,548
Uh, could you repeat that?
560
00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,389
Yes. 10 reams for
the U.S. district court.
561
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,932
(horn honking)
562
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,475
Did I happen to mention the 40 reams
563
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:31,559
for the battered women's
shelter?
564
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,019
- No.
- Huh!
565
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:35,689
(horn honking)
566
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:38,525
Stop it!
567
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:39,693
Give me that.
568
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:40,902
Give it.
569
00:22:40,944 --> 00:22:42,070
Did you see the board?
570
00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:43,154
There's still an hour.
571
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,994
(keyboard clanking)
572
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,872
(monitor bleeping)
573
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:10,765
You ever read this?
574
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:13,977
Yup. A long time ago, but I
liked it.
575
00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:15,729
Got it for Ryan.
576
00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:17,522
Wanted to get him "All
The Places You'll Go,"
577
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:18,606
but they're sold out.
578
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:19,774
- I figure-
- Yeah.
579
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,776
It's the same sort of stuff in here.
580
00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:24,029
It's not, it's different. It's a
good book.
581
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,573
(kisses blowing)
582
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:27,741
What was that?
583
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:30,118
- Leaving Pennsylvania.
- Oh.
584
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:32,495
Two kisses?
585
00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:34,080
One for me, one for Jan.
586
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,415
Gotcha.
587
00:23:35,457 --> 00:23:36,750
You're gonna let me know
when we're close, right?
588
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,835
Yes. Actually, I will
tell you right now.
589
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:40,837
It's a club called Chat Room,
590
00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,548
and there's a password to get in,
591
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:45,925
which is actually "password",
so...
592
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:46,801
Okay.
593
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:49,012
What are you doing?
594
00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:50,764
Oh, that is an invitation
to an online party.
595
00:23:51,556 --> 00:23:53,224
No. No, I'm sure that's not.
596
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:57,937
Are there, uh, three W's at
the beginning of the address?
597
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:01,149
- Yes.
- Yup.
598
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,613
Well, the invitation says
VIP's only.
599
00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:08,865
Is this how you treat your
VIP's, Ryan?
600
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:12,494
We're already in the city.
601
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,454
The main part with the buildings.
602
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:15,747
What am I supposed to do?
603
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,165
What do you want me to do
tonight?
604
00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:18,458
And if you tell me,
605
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,085
that I have to drive back to Scranton,
606
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:23,046
to the satellite party,
I am going to throw up.
607
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:26,299
Okay, I'm going to throw up.
608
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:27,217
I'm throwing up.
609
00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:28,968
You're making me throw up, Ryan.
610
00:24:29,010 --> 00:24:30,970
You know what this is like? I'll
tell you what this is like.
611
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,473
This is like when the
freshmen would throw a party
612
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,225
and wouldn't let any of the
seniors go.
613
00:24:37,102 --> 00:24:38,103
(car door slamming)
614
00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:39,979
Doesn't it just you off sometimes,
615
00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,898
that little twerp got
a promotional over us?
616
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,566
Oh actually, I withdrew from consideration.
617
00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:45,652
(sigh) Yeah. I withdrew too.
618
00:24:45,694 --> 00:24:48,863
(car engine revving)
619
00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:59,124
Four, three, two, one.
620
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:01,209
Yes. Woo!
621
00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:03,670
After numerous projections
622
00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:05,588
that the computer would crush,
623
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,298
all salesmen in its path,
624
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:08,675
I am very happy to report,
625
00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:11,845
that our very own D-wight
Sch-rute,
626
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:15,932
has crushed his electronic
nemesis, if you will,
627
00:25:15,974 --> 00:25:19,978
- by a whopping 52 reams.
- Reams.
628
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,771
Wait, say it, say it again.
Announced again.
629
00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:23,982
- 52 reams.
- No, no, no, the first part.
630
00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:26,568
Dwight has defeated the computer.
631
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:31,740
Hey, so, what do you think?
632
00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:34,200
I did it for you.
633
00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:36,661
I didn't ask you to do it for me.
634
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:37,829
You didn't have to.
635
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,708
How do you tell someone it's
over?
636
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,877
You send them a notarized
letter, right?
637
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:46,087
Well, what if the
recipient is your notary?
638
00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,800
Hey, do you have any men
that you can fix me up with?
639
00:25:50,842 --> 00:25:53,887
I would like to have a
relationship with a man.
640
00:25:53,928 --> 00:25:56,973
[Pam] Um, I'll, I'll get back
to you.
641
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:57,766
Let me know.
642
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:07,692
(monitor bleeping)
643
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,784
All right. Who wants to party?
644
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:16,659
Why aren't you in New York?
645
00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,661
Oh, what?
646
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:20,455
Oh, I think I faked Oscar out.
647
00:26:20,497 --> 00:26:21,831
And you said you weren't
coming back,
648
00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:22,874
and we can leave early.
649
00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:24,751
I think I faked Stanley out too.
650
00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:26,544
Who else thought that I was leaving
651
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:27,754
and they can all go home early?
652
00:26:27,796 --> 00:26:30,507
Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.
653
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,801
Well, who needs New York?
654
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:35,387
Right? We can have a killer
party right here in Scranton.
655
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:36,429
Thank you.
656
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:37,639
Nope. Nope, Nope.
657
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:38,932
This is gonna be
nothing like the party
658
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:39,766
you've been planning.
659
00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:41,643
This is going to be good,
660
00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:43,186
and everybody's gonna come.
661
00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:46,272
What's wrong with Dwight?
662
00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:47,315
He beat the computer.
663
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:49,401
Oh hey. Good for you.
664
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,276
Good for you.
665
00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:51,820
Scranton power.
666
00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:53,321
Angela, I'd like you to come
into my office in 10 minutes.
667
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:55,615
Bring something to write with,
and something to write on.
668
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:56,658
Good.
669
00:27:03,164 --> 00:27:05,333
It was kind of a slap in the face,
670
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:10,296
to realize that I wasn't as
important as I thought I was
671
00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:13,341
to a certain young executive,
672
00:27:13,383 --> 00:27:14,426
who I'd cared about.
673
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,470
But, you know, I'm not gonna cry
over it.
674
00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:20,682
I did that in the car on the way home.
675
00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:22,475
I just, cried out.
676
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:24,477
No more tears.
677
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:28,231
Which reminds me, I have to get shampoo.
678
00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:32,277
(upbeat music)
47127
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