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1
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:17,934
Okay... Well,
I did not get the job
2
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,687
in New York, but I
got the real prize.
3
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,064
Domestic bliss.
4
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,275
Jan made me breakfast
this morning.
5
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:29,029
Well, she bought the milk.
6
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,114
It's soy.
7
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,200
Very healthy.
8
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,494
I'm trying new things.
9
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,456
New tastes and after tastes,
10
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:41,958
this is why I do it.
11
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,502
That's what I have
to come home to.
12
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,712
(Jan snoring)
13
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,880
(sigh)
14
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,968
She probably won't be
up for a few hours.
15
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,095
This is going to be
a very good year.
16
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,388
Very good.
17
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,182
Jane is at home.
18
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,683
Jim is back.
19
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,395
My protege, Ryan, is
at corporate. Good stuff.
20
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,733
Andy and Dwight are
rocking the sales team.
21
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,193
I feel very blessed.
22
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,904
(tires screech)
(loud thump)
23
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:19,079
(upbeat theme music)
24
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,186
♪
25
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,821
{\an8}Generally, it's not a good
idea to click on any Internet
26
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,781
{\an8}offers that you
haven't requested.
27
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,700
What was the exact offer?
28
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,577
{\an8}- It was for a video.
- Yeah.
29
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,329
{\an8}What kind of video?
30
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,790
{\an8}A celebrity sex tape.
31
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,501
Really?
32
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,294
- What kind of celebrity?
- It's not relevant.
33
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,046
- How much did you pay for it?
- Not relevant.
34
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,632
{\an8}- You paid for it?
- It all happened so fast.
35
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,259
{\an8}I broke up with Karen after
36
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:19,097
{\an8}the job interview,
and it was a little awkward.
37
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,932
{\an8}When she came back
from the city,
38
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,268
{\an8}she told me very clearly
that just because we were
39
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,228
{\an8}broken up didn't mean that she
was going anywhere,
40
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,023
{\an8}because she had worked
really hard for a career.
41
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:31,192
But the next day,
her desk was empty.
42
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,613
{\an8}And as for me and my
current romantic life,
43
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,824
{\an8}I uh, I'm single now.
44
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,242
{\an8}And looking.
45
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,037
{\an8}So, if you know anybody.
46
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,205
{\an8}Jim and I went
to dinner a few times
47
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,999
{\an8}when he got back
from New York.
48
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,043
{\an8}I talked him through
his breakup.
49
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,338
{\an8}It's really nice to be
good friends again.
50
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,174
{\an8}Are you kidding me?
51
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:57,594
{\an8}Pam and Jim are
totally hooking up.
52
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,137
{\an8}All they do is smile.
53
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,265
{\an8}They're just keeping
it a secret, right?
54
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,266
I don't know.
55
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,643
{\an8}There is no evidence
of intimacy.
56
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,645
{\an8}They've been
in remarkably good moods.
57
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,772
{\an8}It could be other things.
58
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,232
Are you kidding me?
59
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,776
And Sunday,
60
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,903
I'm thinking of going to that
flea market at the drive in.
61
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,279
Oh, that sounds fun.
62
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,199
I'm mountain biking on Sunday
on Montage Mountain.
63
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,202
Cool, well, have
fun with that.
64
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,877
Ladies and gentlemen,
65
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,047
I have some bad news.
66
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,633
Meredith was hit by a car.
67
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,134
(group chatter)
68
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,095
It happened this morning
in the parking lot.
69
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,138
I took her to the hospital
70
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,141
and the doctors tried
to save her life.
71
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,185
They did the best
that they could,
72
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,105
and she is going to be okay.
73
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,482
What is wrong with you?
74
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,359
Why did you have
to phrase it like that?
75
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,027
So, she's really
going to be fine?
76
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,655
Yes.
She has a slight
77
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:03,576
pelvical fracture, but people
have survived far worse.
78
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,495
Thank God you were there.
79
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:07,706
Yeah.
80
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,792
- Did you see who did it?
- No need.
81
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,168
We can just check
the security tapes.
82
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,045
Yeah, kind of good news,
bad news there.
83
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,964
I was able to be on the scene
84
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,675
so quickly because I was
in the car that hit her.
85
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,179
Who was driving?
86
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,935
Oh, Michael.
87
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,395
One day,
Michael came in complaining
88
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,189
about a speed bump
on the highway.
89
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,693
I wonder who he ran over then.
90
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,071
You ran over Meredith this
91
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,949
- morning in the parking lot?
- And saved her life.
92
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,243
Yes, by taking her
to the hospital.
93
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,704
They cut back the
Christmas gift, then,
94
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,414
no personal calls from work.
95
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,999
Now we get run over?
96
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,501
I did get 25 points, though,
97
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,213
for hitting Meredith, like in
that movie Death Race 2000.
98
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,510
(quietly) You get
points for hitting people.
99
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,601
We need to do any cleanup.
100
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,602
No.
101
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,981
I've been playing this
game for a long time.
102
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,024
Let me tell you something,
103
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,443
Meredith ain't
worth no 25 points.
104
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,164
I am heartsick over it.
105
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,502
They look to me to lead them
toward a better future,
106
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:41,299
to fulfill and enrich
their lives.
107
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:45,637
And instead, I put one
of them in the hospital.
108
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,306
It's only Meredith.
109
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,016
Yeah, it's only Meredith.
110
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,434
Thank God.
111
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,103
But did you see the way they
112
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,398
looked at me? Like I was
a murderer or something.
113
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,524
Hey.
114
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,819
Why did you do it?
115
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,986
It was an accident.
116
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,363
Was she talking back?
117
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,699
- No.
- Did you get sick of that face?
118
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,159
Did she owe you money?
Uh-oh.
119
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,994
Is this downsizing?
120
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,205
Did she spurn your advances?
121
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,959
- What else?
- I don't know.
122
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,003
- You don't like redheads?
- What else?
123
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,004
She was late for work.
124
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,588
How about I hit
her by accident?
125
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,340
Okay.
126
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,427
Well, if you ever hit me
127
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,638
with a car, you better kill me
because I will come after you.
128
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,809
I bet that's what
they're thinking.
129
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,522
And this year's,
Dundee for best vehicular
130
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:41,735
manslaughter goes to
Michael Scott.
131
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:47,073
I have a little tribute
to today's events.
132
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,703
♪ Meredith got run
over by Michael's Seabring ♪
133
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,873
♪ walking through the
office parking lot ♪
134
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,709
♪ some might think the driver
was drunk and speeding, ♪
135
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,629
♪ but only if they don't
know Michael Scott ♪
136
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,175
♪ Meredith got run over
by Michael's Seabring ♪
137
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,177
Maybe she hit me.
138
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,429
You ever think of that?
She hit me?
139
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,931
I don't know
whose fault it was.
140
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,310
I wasn't exactly
looking at the road.
141
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:19,356
* Meredith got run
over by a Michael ♪
142
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,524
♪
143
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,111
Sorry.
144
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,281
We should all go visit.
145
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:32,911
- Yes, I guess we should.
- Why is that?
146
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,245
I barely know the woman.
147
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:38,458
She sits all the way over
there. I'd visit Phyllis.
148
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,586
No, we should go visit
and get her a gift.
149
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,255
If everyone puts in $5,
we can get a nice bouquet.
150
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,424
That's a good idea.
Good idea.
151
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,468
I will put in ten
because I make more.
152
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,844
And you hit
her with your car.
153
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,097
Maybe you should put
in your whole damn salary.
154
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,765
Michael only hit her
because she was late.
155
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,683
Show up on time.
156
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:55,600
And you've got
nothing to fear.
157
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,476
That is not true.
158
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,769
It was a horrible accident.
159
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,063
She should sue you
for a million dollars.
160
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,773
Okay.
A million dollars.
161
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,317
What was she going to do with
that pelvis? Cure cancer?
162
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,821
What is he doing here?
163
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:11,408
The receptionist's porno
crashed some hard drives.
164
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,453
It's okay, Pam,
we all do it.
165
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,126
Hey, guys, we're all going
to visit Meredith at lunch
166
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,169
and we're kicking
in $5 for flowers.
167
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,295
Who's we?
168
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,006
- You and Jim?
- No.
169
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,924
Me and Stanley
and Phyllis so far,
170
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,802
Oh. I bet Jim goes too.
171
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,971
Yeah, I haven't
asked him yet.
172
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,806
Oh, I bet you asked.
173
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,391
I was planning on it.
174
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,351
I bet you were.
175
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,856
- Are you coming?
- I can't.
176
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,274
Sprinkles is sick.
177
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,152
She's been sick for some time.
Thank you for asking.
178
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,904
No one asks about Sprinkles.
179
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,533
I have to give her her meds.
I have to pet her.
180
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,493
And who will she
eat lunch with?
181
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,495
Can't your other cats
keep her company?
182
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,498
There's bad blood,
jealousies, cliques.
183
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,208
Angela, you are the chairman
184
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,585
of the party
planning committee.
185
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,546
I shouldn't even be planning
this, It's your job.
186
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,341
All right.
187
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,261
Don't worry, Angela.
188
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,514
You can eat lunch alone
with Sprinkles tomorrow.
189
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,809
Sometimes I curse the fact
190
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,854
that I was gifted with the
ability to party plan.
191
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,357
I mean, why couldn't I be
a good for nothing fatso
192
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,233
like the rest
of this office?
193
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,653
Hello, Hunter, it's Michael.
194
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,157
Yes, Jan is fine. Awesome, fantastic.
195
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,533
Thank you for asking.
196
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,578
Is the man in? So, Ryan got
promoted to corporate,
197
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,747
where he is a little
fish in a big pond.
198
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,625
Whereas back here in Scranton,
199
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:49,839
I am still top dog
in a fairly large pond.
200
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,593
So who is the real boss?
201
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,515
The dog or a fish?
202
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,392
My Lord, my Liege.
203
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,601
Yes, Michael.
204
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,062
So. I need a little
treat for the gang.
205
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,064
Something to win their
affections back.
206
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,065
Back?
207
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,775
Why is that, Michael?
208
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,736
Well, I ran down
Meredith in my car.
209
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,612
(Ryan groans)
210
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,072
Did you do this on purpose?
211
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,658
No, I was being negligent,
but she's in the hospital.
212
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,993
She's fine, recovering nicely.
213
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,829
Tiny little crack
on her pelvis.
214
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,247
But she will be up and...
215
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,206
Did this happened
on company property?
216
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,749
Yes, it was on company
217
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,085
property with company property.
218
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,046
So double jeopardy.
We are fine.
219
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,633
I don't think you understand
how jeopardy works.
220
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,886
Oh, right. I'm sorry.
What is, we're fine?
221
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,349
People keep calling
me a "wunderkind"?
222
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,018
I don't even know
what that means.
223
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:44,936
I know what it means.
224
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,480
It means very successful
for your age,
225
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:51,359
so, I guess it makes sense,
but it's a weird word.
226
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,527
Look, I'm not going to give
227
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,488
you a prize for running
over an employee.
228
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,615
Well, how does it benefit me
for you to be in corporate
229
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,117
if you don't cut
me some slack?
230
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,286
It's not going to benefit
you to have me in corporate.
231
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,579
Well, then
cut me some slack.
232
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,665
I mean, come on, you rub
my back, I'll rub yours.
233
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,793
Goodbye, Michael.
234
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,378
See ya.
235
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,465
Made a sale.
236
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,551
I do not know what
they were thinking.
237
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,180
- Hey, D.
- Hey, monkey, what's up?
238
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,681
Can you do
me a little favor?
239
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,767
Go to my place at lunch and
give Sprinkles her medicine?
240
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,436
- Sure.
- I have to visit the alky.
241
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,646
Check to see
if she's faking.
242
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,232
If a car hit me,
it wouldn't crack my pelvis.
243
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,442
You know what?
244
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:33,902
I bet she cracked it at home.
245
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,446
Jumped in front of the car
to get some worker's comp.
246
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,698
I wouldn't put it past her.
247
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,827
My girlfriend who you
have never met.
248
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,748
Your loss. Is the only person I
can ever imagine being with.
249
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:50,085
We go together like topsoil
and manure,
250
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:55,173
like a tractor and a dozer
blade, like mulch and manure.
251
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,883
So, what do you need me to do?
252
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,636
I wrote it out.
There's a diabetes shot.
253
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,888
Roll the insulin in your hands.
Don't shake it.
254
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,932
She gets an ace
inhibitor with her meal.
255
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,684
If you have to put her right
in front of the dish or she
256
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,520
won't see it because
of the cataracts. Mix one
257
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:12,148
capsule of Omega fatty acid
in with her kidney medicine.
258
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,316
And you want to give
259
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,860
that to her 15 minutes
after she's eaten.
260
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,405
And, Oh, there's a
fungal cream because
261
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,864
she has this infection
under her tail.
262
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,741
So, you're going to have
to lift her tail and put
263
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,743
the cream right
at the base of her tail.
264
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:24,994
Hey, Toby.
265
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,790
Kelly, we're going to visit
Meredith at lunch.
266
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,377
Kelly?
267
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,962
Well, Kelly's been so upset
268
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,507
about Ryan dumping her that
she can't even talk.
269
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:47,475
- Okay, I have an announcement.
- You pushed Darryl out
270
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,768
- the window?
- No.
271
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,729
- You shot Dwight?
- No, no, that is not funny.
272
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,815
I love my employees,
even though I hit one of you
273
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,902
with my car, for which I
take full responsibility.
274
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,739
But did you ever
think of this?
275
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:05,076
Would a sober person
walk in front of a car?
276
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,411
- Hey, Oh.
- I'm sorry,
277
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,872
are you saying that Meredith
was drunk at 9 a.m.?
278
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,415
- Well...
- That's despicable Michael.
279
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,833
There's no proof of that.
280
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,460
That seems early,
even for her.
281
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,754
That's not what, no.
No, I'm not saying that.
282
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,964
- That's disgusting
- Drunk?
283
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,259
No, you can't get
drunk off Kahlua.
284
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,094
It's just a kind of coffee.
285
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,096
Then what are you saying?
286
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,723
I am saying
287
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,810
that maybe I was drunk.
288
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,730
Did you ever think of that?
289
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,773
No.
290
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,025
Okay, look, I'm just trying
291
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,944
to take everybody's mind off
of this unavoidable
292
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,740
tragedy and onto more
positive things.
293
00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:47,494
So, I thought we
should plant a tree.
294
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,746
Oh, good. Means
we don't have to work.
295
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,706
Okay, we're leaving
for the hospital at one.
296
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,501
- So, like a freedom tree.
- I can take three people.
297
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,586
- I can also take three people.
- Separate cars.
298
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,921
- Pam.
- All right, we'll get a card
299
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,881
at the hospital and we'll
sign it outside her room.
300
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,633
- Pam.
- Sales people can go
301
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,551
later in the day. Hourly
workers can go at lunch.
302
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:04,886
Okay, good, good.
303
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,763
So, we'll just all go down
there together at lunch.
304
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,348
- Excellent.
- I was thinking that...
305
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,810
Good work, Pam.
Yay, Pam.
306
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,480
All right, since I am the
boss, I will drive as well.
307
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,482
- Who wants shotgun?
- You can't be serious.
308
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,317
You ran a woman
over this morning.
309
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,695
Everyone inside
the car was fine.
310
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,447
Stanley.
Guess what?
311
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,657
I have flaws.
312
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,701
What are they?
Oh, I don't know.
313
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,577
I sing in the shower.
314
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,372
Sometimes I spend too
much time volunteering.
315
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,250
Occasionally I'll hit
somebody with my car.
316
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,960
So sue me.
317
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:40,380
No, don't sue me.
That's the opposite
318
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,132
of the point that I
am trying to make.
319
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:48,847
Hey, Jim.
320
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,682
- Kev.
- Hey.
321
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,601
I've got a good friend.
322
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,521
Yeah, she's really cool.
323
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,481
- Mmmhmm.
- 26.
324
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,608
She has a great sense
325
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:06,614
of humor, loves mountain
biking and the theater.
326
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,575
- Great.
- Maybe you would like to date
327
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,619
her since you're
not seeing someone.
328
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,829
Sure.
329
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,791
Well, then, how about
tomorrow night?
330
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,711
Oh, I can't tomorrow night
because I have plans.
331
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,463
Why don't you just give me
332
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,922
a number and I'll
call her next week.
333
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,175
- What's her name?
- Yeah Kevin,
334
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,176
what's her name?
335
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,680
Now I have to find a cool
girl who mountain bikes,
336
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:34,225
and she has to be 26
with a great sense of humor.
337
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,020
And she has to be my friend.
338
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,023
Shoot.
339
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,906
I hate hospitals.
In my mind
340
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,117
they are associated
with sickness
341
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,912
and dis-health.
342
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,833
She looks like an angel.
343
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,752
- She looks awful.
- No.
344
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,170
Okay, she always
looks like that.
345
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,630
It was not my fault.
346
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,632
They don't have this kind
of technology at the vets.
347
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,592
- It's not fair.
- It's fair.
348
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,135
You know what?
Why don't we go around
349
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,972
the room and say one
memory of Meredith?
350
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,558
I'll start.
I liked her jumpers.
351
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,061
They reminded me
of kindergarten.
352
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,399
Jim.
353
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,859
I'll always remember
Meredith's back.
354
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,320
That's all I can
see from my desk.
355
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,907
All that red hair over
a nice, strong back.
356
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,159
Sometimes I pretend it's
357
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:36,538
Carrot Top, and he's going to
turn around and tell a joke.
358
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,206
She was fun loving.
359
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,165
Okay, no.
360
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,251
I said, Jim.
361
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,253
I think she's awake.
362
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,338
No, she's in a coma.
363
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,758
No.
364
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,761
Okay.
365
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,055
Meredith.
366
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,391
Woo-oo-oo.
367
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,894
Brought all your
friends from the office, Dear.
368
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,063
- At the same time?
- Yeah.
369
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,399
- Hello, Meredith.
- This is weird.
370
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,067
Brought you some balloons.
371
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,445
Here you go.
372
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,782
Tie these up, cheer up your
tubes. Oh, shoot.
373
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,284
Oh, for god's sake.
374
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:16,745
- Nurse.
- No, don't bother
375
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,371
the nurse,
just put it back in.
376
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,416
I'm going to be sick.
377
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,751
I'm going to puke.
378
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,004
- (group chatter)
- What are you doing?
379
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,505
Just give me that.
380
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,260
Thanks.
381
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,386
(Kevin clapping)
382
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,722
Does it hurt terribly?
383
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,057
No, it's not too bad.
384
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,600
They have me on a lot
of painkillers.
385
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,101
Oh, really?
What kind?
386
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:45,357
Codeine, Vicodin, Percocet
Fentanyl, OxyContin, Palidone?
387
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,983
I have no idea.
388
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,905
So, how's the
view, old girl?
389
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,783
Oh, there's a cemetery.
390
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,618
You think that's affiliated
with the hospital?
391
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,952
Or is it like a separate...?
392
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,789
Okay, okay, okay, you could
just close that.
393
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,749
It was really great of all
394
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,126
of you to come and visit
me at the same time.
395
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,253
I'll see you guys
at the office.
396
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,421
(group chatter)
397
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,714
Okay. Wait up, wait up,
guys, guys, guys,
398
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,132
Hold on a second.
399
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,176
You know what I was thinking
might be sort of fun?
400
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:17,138
Is if you forgave me
in front of everybody.
401
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,807
Michael, I'm not
going to do that.
402
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,644
You know what they say in
the Bible about forgiveness?
403
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,940
Forgiveness
is next to Godliness.
404
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,651
- It's not, it's cleanliness.
- Just Shh.
405
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,111
You cracked my pelvis.
406
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,654
I didn't crack your pelvis.
407
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,155
My car cracked your pelvis.
408
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,116
Okay, your car
cracked my pelvis.
409
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,368
- Look, I just...
- You're not forgiven.
410
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,036
Apart from hitting her
411
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:43,998
with my car, I have been
so kind to that woman.
412
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:48,044
I have treated her
like my grandmother.
413
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,630
Grancy, not Nana.
414
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,341
Meredith is no Nana.
415
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,218
Which one is Jim?
416
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:01,850
- Hi.
- Yeah, heartbreaker.
417
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,768
What are you in for?
418
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,353
Diabetes.
419
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,108
So, have you read about
Iran and the newspaper?
420
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,861
No, please spoiler alerts.
421
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,362
I'm only up till last Monday,
422
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:18,074
so don't tell me anything
about Iran or Iraq.
423
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,118
I want to be surprised.
424
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,830
I don't understand what is
preventing you from laughing
425
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540
this off and giving
me a big hug.
426
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,833
You are not forgiven.
427
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,711
- Come on.
- Michael.
428
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,047
[All] Michael!
Michael!
429
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,007
Meredith won't forgive me.
430
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,009
Who's being mean now?
431
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:38,053
I ran over her by accident,
432
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,722
and she is not forgiving
me on purpose.
433
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,266
Why can't you just forgive me?
434
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,977
Why are you having such a hard
time laughing this off?
435
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,228
How do you know that you
436
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,522
weren't born with some
sort of abnormal pelvis?
437
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,941
That it was just bound
to crack at some point.
438
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,234
Nurse!
439
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,112
I'm going to go get
you a stuffed animal.
440
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,490
Just need some
water, my pills.
441
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,954
There's nothing in here.
442
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:07,916
Do I need to be liked?
443
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,125
Absolutely not.
444
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,919
I like to be liked.
445
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,837
I enjoy being liked.
446
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,756
I have to be liked.
447
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:16,758
But it's not like this
448
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,595
compulsive need to be liked.
449
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,515
Like my need to be praised.
450
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,145
- Hey.
- Hey, monkey.
451
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:30,855
Any problems?
452
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,359
Well, you left the TV
on and your cat is dead.
453
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,652
What?
454
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:37,112
Sparkles,
the white one is dead.
455
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,321
Sprinkles.
456
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,657
That was the
sick one, right?
457
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,997
- I thought she had more time.
- No.
458
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,169
Did she, look,
459
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,047
when you saw her,
how was she looking?
460
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,215
Really dead.
461
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,968
Like, just a dead cat.
462
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,428
(sobbing)
463
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,722
So, hey, come on.
464
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,850
Don't be sad, okay?
Just...
465
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,853
- She's in a better place.
- All right.
466
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,146
(sobbing)
467
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,856
Actually, the
place that she's
468
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:16,359
in is the freezer
because of the odor.
469
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,528
(sobbing)
470
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,492
Okay, you know what,
471
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,787
everybody, let's just get over
the whole Meredith thing.
472
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,497
She cracked her pelvis.
473
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,834
A tiny little crack,
and she's going to be fine.
474
00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:35,128
Michael, Angela's cat died
475
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,547
Sprinkles?
476
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,266
Oh, shoot.
477
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:52,687
I'm sorry.
Angela, man, what a day, huh?
478
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,398
How could it get any worse?
479
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,859
The computer crashes
with the porn and then
480
00:21:57,901 --> 00:22:03,448
Meredith with the accident
and then Sprinkles, gosh.
481
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:05,241
That's three things.
482
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,618
These things happen in threes.
483
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,788
- Ryan dumped me.
- And Ryan dumped Kelly.
484
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:12,957
You know, that's four!
Damn it.
485
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,459
We're into a new cycle.
486
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,587
I'll tell you what's going on.
487
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,506
This office is cursed,
488
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,386
and we need to do
something about it.
489
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,054
Conference room?
490
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:28,765
Maybe the conference room,
maybe the annex.
491
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,893
I'm saying at least
right here is cursed.
492
00:22:31,935 --> 00:22:33,269
Conference room.
Ten minutes.
493
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,189
I am taking responsibility
494
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:38,650
and it is up to me to get rid
495
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:42,904
of the curse that hit
Meredith with my car.
496
00:22:43,697 --> 00:22:48,326
I'm not superstitious,
but I am a little stitious.
497
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:54,040
it's relief to know
that it's not just me.
498
00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:55,083
The whole office is cursed.
499
00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,626
On the other hand,
500
00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:59,671
I may have to deal
with the dark unknown.
501
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:02,716
Okay, let's just start
with the obvious.
502
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:05,468
Did anyone do anything
503
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:08,013
involving an Indian
burial ground?
504
00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:09,014
Like what?
505
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,392
Like park on it
or dig up a body?
506
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:16,688
Toby, do you have anything
you want to tell us?
507
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:21,234
No, I did not violate
an Indian burial ground.
508
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,194
In fact, I had some
good luck recently.
509
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,405
Alfredo's Pizza picked
my business card out
510
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:28,324
of the basket, so I get
a week of free pies.
511
00:23:28,366 --> 00:23:30,493
- That's cool.
- Yeah, perfect.
512
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,496
So, our tragedy is
your good luck.
513
00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:36,082
Satan.
514
00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:39,711
Question, has anyone
recently offended a Gypsy?
515
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,422
We have to have done
something wrong.
516
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,090
You ran over an employee.
517
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:45,800
That was the curse, Stanley,
518
00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:48,678
and we are trying to find
the cause of the curse.
519
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,389
The Indians have this, sorry.
520
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:54,225
Native Americans have this
thing called Karma,
521
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:57,187
which is a very important
aspect of the
522
00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,563
TV show, I Am Earl.
523
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:02,067
Now, Toby winning
pizza is bad Karma.
524
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:03,651
In fact, Toby is bad Karma.
525
00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:05,737
He has done some
terrible things.
526
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:06,988
And because of that,
527
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:09,115
he is divorced and he
doesn't see his kids.
528
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,785
There's your
curse right there.
529
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:13,453
Toby has kids?
530
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,333
Sprinkles
never hurt a soul.
531
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:20,418
God, in your infinite wisdom.
532
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,170
How can you do this?
533
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,380
She wasn't ready.
534
00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:25,256
She had so much
left to accomplish.
535
00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:27,425
It's only a cat.
536
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:28,551
You never,
537
00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:30,512
you don't like them.
538
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:34,474
Cats do not provide
milk or wool or meat.
539
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,434
Dwight, you haven't seen
Meredith yet, have you?
540
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,436
- No, I have not.
- Well, I think you should go
541
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,605
to the hospital and
pay your respects.
542
00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:42,148
I do not respect her.
543
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:43,817
But I will go.
544
00:24:44,818 --> 00:24:46,027
All right.
545
00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:48,530
I would now like to talk about
546
00:24:48,571 --> 00:24:51,574
each of your individual
religious beliefs.
547
00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,953
Oh, Michael, you can't ask
about religious beliefs.
548
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:57,414
Satan is a master of lies.
549
00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:59,958
Everything he says
is the opposite.
550
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,836
All right, well, then you can
ask about religious beliefs.
551
00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:04,879
Thank you for the
permission, psych!
552
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:06,548
All right,
let's just go around the room
553
00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:08,675
and tell me what
you believe in.
554
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:11,386
- Catholic.
- Okay.
555
00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:12,512
Presbyterian.
556
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:14,973
All right.
Me too, Same religion.
557
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,349
All right.
558
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:19,477
I'm a Lutheran and
Bob is a Unitarian.
559
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:21,146
It keeps things spicy.
560
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:23,106
That's why we're cursed.
561
00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:24,315
I've been involved
in a number
562
00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:26,901
of cults, both as
a leader and a follower.
563
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,194
You have more fun as
564
00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:30,989
a follower, but you make
more money as a leader.
565
00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:34,826
Michael, I believe when two
people are right for each
566
00:25:34,868 --> 00:25:38,371
other, that they should start
a physical relationship.
567
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:40,457
Apropos what?
568
00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:43,043
Kelly, you are Hindu.
569
00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:45,879
- So, you believe in Buddha?
- That's Buddhist.
570
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,757
- Are you sure?
- No.
571
00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:50,342
I think I know what
I'm talking about.
572
00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:52,844
Buddha is fat and cool.
573
00:25:52,886 --> 00:25:56,639
He's like God's fat
buddy who drives a car.
574
00:25:56,681 --> 00:26:00,018
He's like God's
Chris Farley or God's
575
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,728
Horatio Sands.
576
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:05,023
And God is like
Cuba Gooding Jr.
577
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:07,525
I'm not saying God is black.
God, I think,
578
00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:10,487
is a mixture of all
the colors of the spectrum.
579
00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:13,573
- What are you?
- Well, if you're going
580
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:17,369
to reduce my identity to my
religion, then I'm Sikh.
581
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:19,829
But I also like
hip hop and NPR.
582
00:26:19,871 --> 00:26:23,708
And I'm restoring a 1967
Corvette in my spare time.
583
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:30,590
Okay, so one Sikh
and Oscar, are you Santoria?
584
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,092
I was raised Catholic,
585
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,428
but I'm agnostic now, so I
guess I'm a secular humanist.
586
00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:37,806
Oh, great.
587
00:26:37,847 --> 00:26:40,100
We have a secular
humanist here.
588
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,476
That is disgusting.
589
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,395
Michael, do you know what
secular humanism is?
590
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:44,938
Yes, I do.
591
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:47,816
It is a philosophy that says
people can improve their lives
592
00:26:47,857 --> 00:26:52,821
through reason as opposed
to religion or superstition.
593
00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:53,988
Oh.
594
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,407
Stupid.
595
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:58,910
As a farmer, I know that
when an animal is sick,
596
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:01,996
sometimes the right thing
to do is to put it out of its
597
00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:04,916
misery. With the electricity
we're using to keep Meredith
598
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:08,545
alive, we could power
a small fan for two days.
599
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:10,088
You tell me what's
unethical.
600
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:14,092
Blink once, if you want me to
pull a plug.
601
00:27:14,134 --> 00:27:17,262
- Don't pull any plugs.
- How are you doing, Ms. Palmer?
602
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:19,264
- Better.
- Excellent.
603
00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:20,974
Are you a doctor
or a male nurse?
604
00:27:21,016 --> 00:27:23,226
I'm an intern,
which makes me a doctor.
605
00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:25,937
Her chart doesn't indicate
606
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:28,440
that she had a hysterectomy,
but she did.
607
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,775
Or at least she got
time off for one.
608
00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:34,070
Ah, so, that is where
her uterus went.
609
00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:36,948
Miss Palmer, the last tetanus
610
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,908
shot was when you were bitten
by bat a few months ago?
611
00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:43,538
Yes, Dwight here trapped it
in a bag against my head.
612
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:44,873
Just doing my job.
613
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:46,958
It also says you recently
bitten by a raccoon?
614
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,001
And a rat.
615
00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:50,170
Separate occasions.
616
00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:54,132
You spend your whole life
trying to get people to like
617
00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:58,178
you, and then you run over one
person with your car,
618
00:27:58,219 --> 00:28:00,305
and it's not even one
of the popular ones
619
00:28:00,347 --> 00:28:02,265
and everybody gets
on your case.
620
00:28:02,307 --> 00:28:03,850
Doesn't make any sense.
621
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:06,061
God is dead.
622
00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:09,105
If there was a God in Ryan
and I would be married by now.
623
00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:12,901
Maybe believing
in God is a mistake.
624
00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:15,528
What did people
believe in before?
625
00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:18,156
The sun?
626
00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:19,491
Maybe we should do that.
627
00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:21,368
Is this what you
guys do all day?
628
00:28:21,409 --> 00:28:22,660
Yeah.
629
00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:24,496
Maybe there's some sort
630
00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:29,125
of animal that we can make
a sacrifice to, like
631
00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:35,215
a giant Buffalo or
some sort of monster,
632
00:28:35,256 --> 00:28:38,885
like something with
the body of a walrus,
633
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:44,933
with the head of a sea lion or
634
00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:48,103
something with a
body of an egret
635
00:28:50,397 --> 00:28:55,276
with the head of a Meerkat
or just
636
00:28:56,736 --> 00:29:02,117
the head of a monkey with
the antlers of a reindeer,
637
00:29:04,536 --> 00:29:06,579
with a body of
638
00:29:11,459 --> 00:29:13,253
a porcupine.
639
00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:18,299
- I will do some research.
- Okay.
640
00:29:18,341 --> 00:29:20,176
I can help you with that.
641
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,931
So just to be safe,
642
00:29:24,973 --> 00:29:26,558
they are giving her
the rabies vaccine.
643
00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:28,059
Oh, God.
644
00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:29,394
Rabies?
645
00:29:29,436 --> 00:29:31,813
I was in the hospital
room with her.
646
00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:32,981
How contagious is that?
647
00:29:33,023 --> 00:29:34,441
- Is that like an STD or?
- No, no.
648
00:29:34,482 --> 00:29:35,567
You've got to be
bitten by something.
649
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,736
This place is so cursed.
650
00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:39,320
Actually, the doctor said it
was lucky she came
651
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:41,740
into the hospital because
the only way to beat rabies is
652
00:29:41,781 --> 00:29:45,326
to start treatment before
the symptoms set in, Lockjaw.
653
00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:55,253
I know a lot of you are very
upset with me for endangering
654
00:29:55,295 --> 00:29:58,673
Meredith's life by hitting
her with my car.
655
00:29:59,341 --> 00:30:01,259
But it may make you feel
a little bit better to know
656
00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:05,472
that before that happened,
Dwight endangered her life
657
00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:09,142
by putting a garbage bag over
her head that had a bat in it.
658
00:30:10,268 --> 00:30:11,770
Six of one. Really.
659
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:16,775
Turns out Meredith has been
exposed to rabies, which is,
660
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:21,112
like, ten times worse than a
little crack in your pelvis.
661
00:30:21,154 --> 00:30:22,364
Thanks to me
662
00:30:22,405 --> 00:30:24,324
she went to the hospital
and I saved her life.
663
00:30:24,783 --> 00:30:26,493
Curse is broken.
664
00:30:26,785 --> 00:30:28,870
Curse is broken, people.
665
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:33,333
Oh, there is a God, and he
has a plan for us after all.
666
00:30:33,375 --> 00:30:35,460
So go home, get some rest.
667
00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:38,171
Very, very good work today.
668
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,757
Got a lot accomplished.
669
00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:43,802
Is there a God?
670
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:47,180
If not, what are all
these churches for?
671
00:30:47,222 --> 00:30:50,433
And who is Jesus' dad?
672
00:30:54,562 --> 00:30:55,689
(car alarm beeps)
673
00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:02,862
Oh well,
if they aren't together now,
674
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:05,073
then they probably
never will be.
675
00:31:06,783 --> 00:31:08,660
I thought they'd
be good together.
676
00:31:08,702 --> 00:31:10,912
Like PB and J.
677
00:31:12,205 --> 00:31:15,250
Pam Beasley and Jim.
678
00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:19,212
What a waste.
679
00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:21,798
What a waste.
680
00:31:22,215 --> 00:31:24,592
I told you I'm not
dating anyone.
681
00:31:24,634 --> 00:31:28,596
And even if I was, I don't
think it's anyone's business.
682
00:31:29,222 --> 00:31:32,017
I mean, when I do fall
in love,
683
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:34,853
like when it's for real,
the last person I'm going
684
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:39,232
to talk about it to is a
camera crew or my coworkers.
685
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:45,822
Almost marrying Roy Anderson
was as close
686
00:31:45,864 --> 00:31:48,241
to Pamela Anderson as
I ever want to be.
687
00:31:49,117 --> 00:31:51,411
Trust me when I fall
in love, you'll know.
688
00:32:01,087 --> 00:32:03,590
Man, I'd really like to hit that.
689
00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:06,384
I hope this isn't
what he meant.
690
00:32:07,052 --> 00:32:10,388
I run over Michael every day
in my mind.
691
00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:13,141
Is Ryan my boss?
692
00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:17,812
I don't know.
He is called the boss.
693
00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:21,941
He has the power over
me that a boss has.
694
00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,487
So no, we are equals.
695
00:32:25,528 --> 00:32:27,530
Yes, Michael Scott.
696
00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,908
Things might be different
for him this year.
697
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,409
He can no longer protect
698
00:32:31,451 --> 00:32:34,954
himself by starting a sexual
relationship with his boss.
699
00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:42,462
I've had Sprinkles
for 16 years.
700
00:32:42,504 --> 00:32:45,882
I adopted her when I graduated
from accounting school.
701
00:32:46,383 --> 00:32:48,551
I knew the kind of life I wanted.
702
00:32:48,593 --> 00:32:52,972
One with a companionship
and unpredictable good times
703
00:32:53,014 --> 00:32:54,557
only a cat offers.
704
00:32:54,599 --> 00:32:57,519
My cousin
Moses' best friend was a dog.
705
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,270
One day he was foaming
706
00:32:59,312 --> 00:33:02,315
at the mouth, so I had
to shoot him dead.
707
00:33:02,357 --> 00:33:06,236
Turns out he had only eaten
one of Moses cream pies.
708
00:33:06,277 --> 00:33:08,196
Did I feel bad
for killing him?
709
00:33:08,238 --> 00:33:09,239
No.
710
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,032
That's how you deal
with a thief.
711
00:33:11,074 --> 00:33:12,867
Sprinkles lives with me.
712
00:33:12,909 --> 00:33:14,744
Cares for me.
Listens to me.
713
00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:17,997
Cheers me up, dries my tears.
714
00:33:18,873 --> 00:33:21,251
Meredith steals my tape.
715
00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:25,005
Things we don't want
on Schrute farms?
716
00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:28,425
Beet weasels, teenagers.
717
00:33:28,466 --> 00:33:32,721
Regular weasels,
teenagers with rabies,
718
00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:37,559
unprotected sex. Things we
do want on Schrute farms?
719
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,601
A new plow.
720
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:42,647
(upbeat music)
52022
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