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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,959 Yeah, but what is jizz? 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,879 Whoa. 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,079 - You know what I mean? - Like, I know what sperm is. 4 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,799 - Sperm. - Yeah, I know, I know. 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,319 - I just mean, like- - The component parts. - Exactly. Yeah. 6 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,919 OK, well, the- the sperm is inside the, like- you know, the viscous stuff. 7 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,439 - That's the semen. - I hate that word. 8 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,159 It turns me on, actually. 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,759 - Yeah, but that's what I'm asking. - What's the viscous? 10 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,759 I'm like, is it spit? 11 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,760 Ta-da! 12 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,919 - These aren't your kidneys? - What is that? - Uh, no, they're the ovaries. 13 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,519 Look like one of my mum's old necklaces. 14 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,999 So where does old mate meet the sperm? 15 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,159 - Yeah, so the sperm comes up here. - I think it's like... 16 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:45,719 OK, actually, I don't know if it's there or if it's there. 17 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,999 They really should tell you how hard it is to get pregnant in sex ed. 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,119 - Oh, for God's sake. - Don't even get me started. 19 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,399 - So I have to jerk off every time? - Yes. 20 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,639 - Yeah. It's better when it's fresh. - We need... 21 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,039 - What happens if, like, I can't... - if I can't come? 22 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,039 Well, you can do it here at home, if you want, 23 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:05,279 - but then we just have to transfer it to the clinic within 30 minutes. - Ooh! I could do that. 24 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,759 That there could be me! I could be the juice jizz taxi. 25 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,079 - OK. - That would be so cool. 26 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,839 - I'd be so good. - You would. 27 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,759 - It's just- Don't overthink it. - You know what I mean? 28 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,439 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, it's just... what you normally do. 29 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,719 - Yeah, OK. - You know, if you want to make it a special jizz session... 30 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,159 we'll pop round the corner. We'll go on a ladies' walk. 31 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,519 - That's fine. - We'll reclaim the night. - No, no, don't do that. 32 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,199 Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable is what we will do. 33 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,839 - OK. - Whatever you want. 34 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,559 Can you also just stop pretending like you're not doing it all the time anyway? 35 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,240 OK, well, how often do you wank? 36 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,720 A lot. 37 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,080 OK. 38 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,960 Let's do it. 39 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,519 - Are you actually- - You're actually keen? 40 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,759 Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. 41 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,760 Oh, Johnny! 42 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,759 - It's all right. - Just don't be weird about it. 43 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,239 Whoo, Daddy! 44 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,240 Oh my God, Johnny! 45 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,880 And me! I'm in it too! 46 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,800 Gotta say - This version of the ute... 47 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,919 Not for me. 48 00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:28,039 - Oh, please don't sniff it. - Please don't sniff it. 49 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:33,640 - Why? Is it making you... horny? - No. It makes me feel really weird. 50 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,519 - Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm so late! - That's all right. 51 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,239 - Anybody miss me? - Oh my God. Did we miss you? - Yeah. 52 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,119 Yeah, we have not stopped gasbagging about ya. 53 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,679 - God, I love my gay clients. - They're always so fun! 54 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:52,199 - Now, you must be dying to know about how your IVF's gone. - Yep, we are. 55 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,439 - All righty. This is that moment! - I'm so excited. 56 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,840 Um... It's not that. Hang on. 57 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,479 That's my new driver's license. Let's just... 58 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,639 Um, could it possibly be on the computer? 59 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,119 No way it's gonna be on the computer, doll. 60 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,879 It is literally there for show because computers and I do not mix. 61 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:15,519 We don't get on. No, I find that the paper is actually a lot more efficient. 62 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,640 Now, hang on. 63 00:03:16,641 --> 00:03:19,199 I have had it this morning cos I just looked at it before. 64 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,079 It's quite the filing system you got over there. 65 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,199 You know what? It's a lot more efficient than it looks. 66 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,839 I had my niece come in over the summer, and... 67 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:31,559 She's a lovely girl, huge pothead- but she's actually taken her time. It's quite good. 68 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,560 Ah, yes! 69 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,439 Nat and Steph. 70 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,440 Hooray! 71 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,799 Oh my God! 72 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:45,119 - Oh no, I didn't mean hooray- I meant hooray for finding the file. - Oh. Right, yep. 73 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,079 - That was really quick. - Yeah. 74 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,239 All right. Um... 75 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,840 Yeah, no. So I'm really sorry, but you're not pregnant. 76 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,799 - Right. - Damn. 77 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,159 - Look, here's the thing. It definitely takes a few tries. - Yeah, we've- we've been trying. 78 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,439 This was our fourth try, so... 79 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,079 - Yeah. - God, what are we doing wrong? 80 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,919 Is there anything we can, like, do or Steph can, like- Is there anything she can eat? 81 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,599 I mean, you could have a lot more unprotected sex. Ha ha! That's... 82 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,799 No one's in the mood for jokes. Um... 83 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,559 Uh, no. Look, this is very much a part of the process, all right? 84 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,319 You do have a number of fertilised eggs from your last retrieval. 85 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,039 - Yeah. - OK? 86 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,720 So, really, we could start another round... 87 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,719 kind of when you're ready. 88 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,879 Yeah? 89 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,880 Mm. 90 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,160 Mm. Look at that. 91 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,279 Hmm. Little coffee spill. 92 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,720 Do you know what? Had a crown done. 93 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,520 All fell out. The coffee falls out. 94 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,160 Babe. 95 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,560 - So you're not gonna drive into oncoming traffic, are ya? - No. 96 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:13,960 - Can't be bothered. - That's the spirit. 97 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,960 Just feels like I'm failing at 98 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,479 - a test that I've done the homework for, you know? - Mm. 99 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,839 Would a participation certificate feel fun or patronising? 100 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:31,959 We're gonna have to deal with everyone's really sad, sympathetic faces as we tell them that, 101 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,960 nope, it didn't work... 102 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,600 again. 103 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,159 I reckon we cancel Lily's birthday dinner. 104 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,439 - No, we can't, because we'll never hear the end of it. - It's not even her birthday. 105 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,119 I know. I'm just having a moment, but I'll be fine. 106 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,199 - Are you sure? - Yeah. Yeah. 107 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,200 I'll be good by tonight. 108 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,159 - Are you sure she wants to do that? - Eh, she's fine. 109 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,239 No, we're not cancelling, OK? This is the first of my many birthday celebrations. 110 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,119 You're turning 34, mate. It's hardly, like, a significant birthday. 111 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,119 Yeah, but I've already told you guys the insignificant ones are my favourite. 112 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,759 OK, then let's just get takeaways or something. 113 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,159 - No, she said cooking would be good for her process. - Really? It doesn't look like it. 114 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,279 Um... 115 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,439 Dinner's ready. 116 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,040 Yay! 117 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,359 Sorry. I think I cried into the gravy, so it's a bit salty. 118 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,719 - Nah, it's yum. - Yeah. I reckon that's your best one yet, baby. 119 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,720 Thanks. 120 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,759 Oh my God. Steph. 121 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:39,039 I'm really sorry about what happened to you today, but you're making my birthday party so bleak. 122 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,639 - Lily! - What? She is. 123 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,399 She won't stop crying. She looks like a panda. 124 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,919 I think I have almost got it out of me. 125 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,039 - I barely even noticed it. - Thank you, Johnny. 126 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,839 What?! We're supposed to be celebrating my 34th birthday. 127 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,559 Lily, you have two more birthday dinners this week, 128 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,879 plus that zoo thing, which I- What is the zoo thing? 129 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,239 - Oh my God. - It's like a night zoo party. 130 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,799 - And it's for grown-ups? - Yes! Oh my gosh. 131 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,039 - OK. - I put a deposit down. - You're totally right. 132 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,839 And I do. I really do need to stop crying, babe. 133 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,920 Maybe we just need to get more drunk. 134 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,680 - I don't know if that's a good idea. - Oh, go, go. 135 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,159 Whoo! 136 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,079 - So there is power in bottoms? - Oh, yeah. No, you can be a power... 137 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,919 - Johnny! - Yeah! Whoo! 138 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,959 - Oh my God, Johnny. - And you got beers. Thank you. - I didn't even know you'd gone. 139 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:46,359 You know what? I'm glad that I didn't get pregnant because I do not want to ruin my gorgeous body. 140 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,719 Oh! 141 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,600 Give me another one. 142 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:52,919 Babe, did I tell you that my trainer said I have very strong deltoids? 143 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,200 Which ones are my deltoids? 144 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,600 I love you guys! 145 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,200 Oh! 146 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,039 Do you know what... 147 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,119 what really pisses... me off though? 148 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:11,159 People - hey just freak out about getting pregnant by accident. 149 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,359 - But we can't even get pregnant on purpose. - Yes. Yes, like my friend Portia. 150 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:20,319 Remember her from high school? You know, her boyfriend's sperm was in the pool, and she was in the... 151 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,999 - She hopped in the pool, and then it swam accidentally inside her. - Um, yeah, look, 152 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,039 - I don't know Portia; I don't know your school. - It's anatomically impossible. 153 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,239 - But I definitely know that's impossible. - Sperm cannot, like... 154 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,239 She was a virgin before that. Well, explain her kid. She's got, like, a 14-year-old now. 155 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,439 - Hey, pick up four. - I don't know. It could also be my sperm, though, you know? 156 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,759 Cos I've got my laptop in my lap all the time, so I could've just cooked my sperm. 157 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,999 Nah, it's not your sperm. You've got really good sperm. It's... 158 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,480 Yeah, it's definitely my... 159 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,519 - rotten eggs. - Sorry, Steph, you gotta pick up. 160 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,799 - Johnny, what the fuck? What? - She said not to go easy on her. 161 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,280 It's fine. It's totally fine. 162 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,919 - Four. - OK, What about this? 163 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:05,239 Don't get mad, but, like, have you ever just thought, Steph, that maybe it doesn't need to all be you? 164 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,959 What about Nat? 165 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:12,279 - Just saying, you know? Like, your egg, but use Nat as the... - Microwave. 166 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,079 - Yeah, like the chef, the cook, you know? - Yeah. 167 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,279 Or what if Nat just does the whole thing? 168 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,280 Oh. 169 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,999 - Well, I mean, Nat doesn't wanna carry. - Nah, exactly. 170 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,079 I mean, she's on all the mummy blogs, and she follows all the mummy influencers. 171 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,159 I guess we haven't... ruled it out entirely. 172 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,639 Have we? No. 173 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,440 Have we not ruled it out, though? 174 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,999 It'll be weird, though - like, me and Johnny as a combo. Yeah. 175 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,839 - Not since, like, my year 12 semiformal. - Ooh, triggered. 176 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,919 - Um... I mean, it's crazy, but... - Yeah. 177 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,919 It kind of- It kind of makes sense. 178 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,479 What? You- You think you and Johnny make sense? 179 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,759 - Yeah. I mean, what's stopping us? - We've got the stuff. 180 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,719 - Because this is completely insane! - We've got all the stuff here though, right? 181 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,079 Yes. I've got that tofurky baster thing from Midwinter Christmas. 182 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,599 - Wait, are you seriously serious about-? - What's stopping us? 183 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,399 - What's stopping us? - Uh, because it's crazy, babe. 184 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,119 - Yeah, but like, fuck the clinic. - Fuck the fertility clinic. 185 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,039 Why don't we just, like, you know, take the power back... 186 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,279 You know, all the embryo transfers and the waiting list and, 187 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,519 like, that weird woman at reception with the red hair who's always like, 'Oh, here they come again!' 188 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,839 You want a baby in your body? 189 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,240 I just want a family with you. 190 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,640 That's what I want. 191 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,639 - OK. Got it! I've got it! - I've got it! I've got it! 192 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,199 - I've got it. It's all clean. - It's totally fine. 193 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,039 So, Johnny, that's for you to into, you know? 194 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,479 - And that's for you to... hwoop! - Oh. 195 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,359 - I don't know. - Can we just, you know, tie-ho on the- on the things? 196 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,319 - Because, like, is it even a good time for you the moment? - Yeah. I mean, yeah. 197 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,999 - Yeah, it is, but... - Oh, OK. 198 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000 - Yeah. - Right. 199 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:56,599 - No, no, no. We can't. - Yeah, I just don't think this is, like, the appropriate forum 200 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,039 - for us to be having this conversation. - It's a fun thought. 201 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,639 Oh, it's a fun thought. Don't get me wrong. It's fun thought. 202 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:06,479 But just because we could, it doesn't mean we should. 203 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,480 Yeah. 204 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,880 I mean, we could. 205 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,120 Should we...? 206 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,680 Here it is. 207 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,440 - Wow! - That was quick! 208 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,160 Whoo! 209 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,919 Go away! We're gonna make love. 210 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,520 - We have to make love. - OK, I'm sorry. 211 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,800 Whoo! 212 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,599 Mm! 213 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,399 Oh. 214 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,999 Oh God. 215 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,799 Wait, what time is it? 216 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,679 Because I can't be late for work today. 217 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,680 Oh, fuck. 218 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,159 Oh. 219 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,959 It's 11.30. 220 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,440 - Oh, what did you say? - 11.30. 221 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,079 Oh God. 222 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,519 Oh, shit. 223 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,640 Shit. 224 00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:23,239 Shit. Oh, I- I am still drunk. 225 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,799 - Hey, come back to bed. - I'm so... - Come on. 226 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,479 - Come on. - Why? Whoa, whoa. 227 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:32,279 - Why are you not freaking out about- about this? - I don't have work today. 228 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,680 - What? - I've got the day off. 229 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,919 Ugh. 230 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,519 That is cruel. That is so, so cruel. 231 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:46,520 You know what? I take back everything I've ever said about teachers not being paid enough. 232 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,840 Oh my God. 233 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,440 I think I still have Johnny's sperm in me. 234 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:08,239 'Oh my God.' I have not uttered that sentence for a long time. 235 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:13,319 I think I feel nostalgic for being, like, straight. 236 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,639 - What if you are, like, actually pregnant? - Oh, babe, look, 237 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,759 I don't think you did a very good job of, like, getting it all inside me, to be honest. 238 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,599 - Yeah, right. - No offence. 239 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:27,600 No. See, I have, like, bad hand-eye coordination, I guess. 240 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,639 - You should call in sick. - I can't. I can't call in sick. - Come on. 241 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,399 - Let's go get a big breakfast somewhere. - I can't call in sick! 242 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,559 - Why not? - Because I work for my dad, 243 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,839 who has zero empathy in these situations. 244 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,039 - Aww, you're my little nepo baby. - Don't. 245 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,359 - Nom-nom-nom that privilege. - Stop it! 246 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,440 For me and you. 247 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,839 OK, well, I'm gonna go pee. 248 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,359 - Then I'm gonna shake out the rest of Johnny's sperm. - Oh my God! 249 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,519 - Ai-ai-ai. - Don't even, like, joke about it. 250 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:05,679 - And you, do not- do not drive. - Oh yeah. I'm definitely over the limit. I'll catch a cab. 251 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,359 This whole sperm thing has been such a fun throwback, 252 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,759 but I will make sure that I get the rest out of me. 253 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,760 Yeah. 254 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,439 - My Uber's here, babe. See ya. - Bye, babe! 255 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,599 Morning. 256 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,199 - Ooh, can I...? - Yeah. Yeah. 257 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,719 Oh, man. 258 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,719 - Is Lily alive? - Yeah, I um... 259 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,319 I think I heard her throwing up in the bathroom this morning, so that's good. 260 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,519 - Steph had to Uber to work. - Oh. 261 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,119 - Why didn't she just pull a sickie? - Cos she's a loser. 262 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,239 She's, like, desperate for her dad's love and approval. 263 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,319 - Oh, sad. - I'm joking. I'm joking. 264 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,320 I love her. 265 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,520 Hey, um... 266 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,839 I don't think I'm pregnant, by the way. 267 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,840 Really? 268 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,519 No, I was just... 269 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,039 Man, I was really nervous this morning. 270 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,639 I'd promised your dad that I would never get you pregnant, so... 271 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,639 - Yeah, that was like, when were 16, though, you know? - Yeah, but a promise is a promise. 272 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,720 - You're an idiot. - Yeah. 273 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,559 OK, ready? 274 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,919 Let's go, team bibs, team no bibs. That's it. 275 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,039 Honestly, what is the point in watching the... 276 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,119 - They can't even tackle each other. - We're here for morale. 277 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,399 No. I'm here to see these bitches take each other down. 278 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,519 Oh, lovely! 279 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,999 They've actually had a really tough season so far. 280 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,519 Like, puberty's setting in, so it's making them all a bit crazy. 281 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,119 - It's weird that you know that. - Well, I know heaps about sports. 282 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,319 Oh. 283 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,279 Ooh, oh dear. 284 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,679 Ah, you see, this is why I could never be a teacher. 285 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,639 - I'd be so suspicious. She's just playing that out. - No, I think she's really hurt. 286 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,999 Total Hollywood. 287 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,679 - Would you mind? - Oh no. 288 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,079 - Hello. - God's sake, you've gotta be kidding me. 289 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,719 - Blow the whistle? - Do you wanna blow it? 290 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,999 Boo! 291 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,279 OK, is that enough milf-gawking for one day? I'd quite like my free breakfast. 292 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,559 Oh, hello. 293 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:06,199 - The baby's just getting good. - The what? 294 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,559 - The game, the game. - The game's just... getting good. 295 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,319 I'm the whistle monster. 296 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,639 Oh no, you've broken it! 297 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:21,839 I swear to God, if one of those kids has given me a super flu or some germy kid shit, 298 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,479 I'm gonna bench them for the rest of the season. 299 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,919 Can I get you anything? Peppy tea? 300 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:32,399 Big plastic ball with a door, and I open the door and I lock myself in, and the kids can't touch me. 301 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,400 That's a good idea. 302 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,840 Um, so... 303 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I've been thinking that 304 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,960 I might want to try again. 305 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,680 Nothing's really changed for me, you know? 306 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,040 I still really want to have a baby. 307 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,960 What do you think? 308 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,280 I think I love you. 309 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,199 But I've also just loved how relaxed you've been, you know? 310 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:21,319 And it's just nice to think that we can have this time together that doesn't involve me, like, 311 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:26,479 - injecting you with hormones every night, you know? - Yeah, I do. I do get that. 312 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,839 - You've already booked the appointment, haven't you? - Yep. 313 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:34,440 - Steph... - But it's just to, like, see what our next steps might be. 314 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,199 - When is it? - Next week. 315 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,799 - Next- Next week?! - Yeah, but we don't have to start anything, you know. 316 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,080 It's just, like, a super casual, casual chit-chat. 317 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:52,439 OK. I'm not gonna debate you on it because I can see you've already made your mind up, so... 318 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,440 Thank you. 319 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,439 - Come here, you little sicko. - Eh? What? 320 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,119 - Give me your jizz. - No. 321 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,559 - You got some jizz? - Yeah, I do. 322 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,999 - I want it. - Mm-hmm. 323 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,600 - I want your jizz. - Ooh, that was a good one. 324 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,479 Shit. 325 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,679 Shit. 326 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,680 Shit, shit, shit. 327 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,719 - Are you all good? - Yeah. Is, um, Lily home? - Uh, nah, she's gone out with, um... 328 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,719 I missed my period. 329 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,519 Oh. Oh! 330 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,520 Wow, right. Um... 331 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,839 - That's normal, though, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kinda. I mean, I guess... 332 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,159 - I missed my last one as well. - Sorry, what? 333 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,959 - Oh, it's irregular sometimes. - Sometimes? - Yeah, kind of. 334 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,039 Kind of. OK, um, I reckon, um, talk to Steph about that. 335 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,199 - I'm sure it's chill. - Nat, talk to Steph about it. 336 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,119 Well, Steph, this is a lovely surprise. 337 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,199 - Have you missed me? - Yeah, heaps! 338 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,639 - No Nat today? - Oh, she's just feeling a bit under the weather, actually. 339 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,439 - Do you know what? I think there's something going around. - Yeah. Yeah. 340 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,999 Yes. Uh, how are you feeling? 341 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,999 Um, yeah, I'm OK. 342 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,879 I just thought it might be a good idea to talk about next steps. 343 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,360 Yes. How's the baby feeling? 344 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,879 - Excuse me? - The baby. How's the baby feeling? 345 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,719 Uh, w-what baby? 346 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,439 You don't think... 347 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,319 You don't think I... Nah! 348 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,480 - No way. - Nat. 349 00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:50,959 - I should do a pregnancy test. - You should do a pregnancy test. - I hate peeing on command. 350 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,040 I don't have a baby. I'm... 351 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:59,120 - I'm here to get help with having a baby? Yeah. - Of course. I'm so sorry. 352 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,719 Jesus, Nat. Why do you always have to come to me with your personal problems? 353 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,759 - Will you just excuse me for one moment? - Uh, what's going on? 354 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,079 This is just like that time where I had to hide that you were bi 355 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,319 for a year, and then I got that stomach ulcer. 356 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,039 - Does it say that I'm pregnant on that piece of paper? - Just one moment is all I need. 357 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,040 Am I pregnant? 358 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,079 - It's negative. - Oh, thank God. 359 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,639 Bloody hell, Nat. Scared the shit outta me. 360 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,839 I'm going outside to do some mindfulness. 361 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,399 Oh, my God. I cannot believe this is happening. I cannot believe this is happening! 362 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,919 Six weeks ago, I wasn't pregnant, so how could I possibly be pregnant today? 363 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,519 - I don't know. - You don't know either? 364 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,599 Do you think it could be that your- your filing system is- is completely fucked? 365 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,239 - Um, no. - A baby. Oh my God. 366 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,240 Surprise! 367 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,000 - Where's Nat? - Still in the bathroom, I think. 368 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,679 Nat? 369 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,399 Nat? 370 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,400 Nat, let me in. 371 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,559 Nat, 372 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,560 I'm pregnant. 373 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,800 Me too. 374 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,080 Oh. 375 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,479 ♪ I love to wake up in the morning 376 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,880 ♪ but keep dreaming without warning. The day is gone. 377 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,359 ♪ My friends are sitting laughing while I just keep on napping. 378 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,679 ♪ They're knocking on my door, but I'm knocking them down. 379 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:57,680 ♪ They say I'm acting crazy, but I just want to lie in the sun. ♪ 31537

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