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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,959
Yeah, but what is jizz?
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,879
Whoa.
3
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,079
- You know what I mean?
- Like, I know what sperm is.
4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,799
- Sperm.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,319
- I just mean, like- - The component parts.
- Exactly. Yeah.
6
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,919
OK, well, the- the sperm is inside
the, like- you know, the viscous stuff.
7
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,439
- That's the semen.
- I hate that word.
8
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,159
It turns me on, actually.
9
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,759
- Yeah, but that's what I'm asking.
- What's the viscous?
10
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,759
I'm like, is it spit?
11
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,760
Ta-da!
12
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,919
- These aren't your kidneys?
- What is that? - Uh, no, they're the ovaries.
13
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,519
Look like one of
my mum's old necklaces.
14
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,999
So where does old mate
meet the sperm?
15
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,159
- Yeah, so the sperm comes up here.
- I think it's like...
16
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:45,719
OK, actually, I don't know if
it's there or if it's there.
17
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,999
They really should tell you how
hard it is to get pregnant in sex ed.
18
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,119
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Don't even get me started.
19
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,399
- So I have to jerk off every time?
- Yes.
20
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,639
- Yeah. It's better when it's fresh.
- We need...
21
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,039
- What happens if, like, I can't...
- if I can't come?
22
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,039
Well, you can do it here
at home, if you want,
23
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:05,279
- but then we just have to transfer it to the clinic within 30 minutes.
- Ooh! I could do that.
24
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,759
That there could be me!
I could be the juice jizz taxi.
25
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,079
- OK.
- That would be so cool.
26
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,839
- I'd be so good.
- You would.
27
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,759
- It's just- Don't overthink it.
- You know what I mean?
28
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,439
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like, it's just... what you normally do.
29
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,719
- Yeah, OK.
- You know, if you want to make it a special jizz session...
30
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,159
we'll pop round the corner.
We'll go on a ladies' walk.
31
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,519
- That's fine. - We'll reclaim the night.
- No, no, don't do that.
32
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,199
Whatever makes you feel the most
comfortable is what we will do.
33
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,839
- OK.
- Whatever you want.
34
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,559
Can you also just stop pretending like
you're not doing it all the time anyway?
35
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,240
OK, well, how often do you wank?
36
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,720
A lot.
37
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,080
OK.
38
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,960
Let's do it.
39
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,519
- Are you actually-
- You're actually keen?
40
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,759
Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.
41
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,760
Oh, Johnny!
42
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,759
- It's all right.
- Just don't be weird about it.
43
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,239
Whoo, Daddy!
44
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,240
Oh my God, Johnny!
45
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,880
And me! I'm in it too!
46
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,800
Gotta say -
This version of the ute...
47
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,919
Not for me.
48
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:28,039
- Oh, please don't sniff it.
- Please don't sniff it.
49
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:33,640
- Why? Is it making you... horny?
- No. It makes me feel really weird.
50
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,519
- Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm so late!
- That's all right.
51
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,239
- Anybody miss me?
- Oh my God. Did we miss you? - Yeah.
52
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,119
Yeah, we have not stopped
gasbagging about ya.
53
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,679
- God, I love my gay clients.
- They're always so fun!
54
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:52,199
- Now, you must be dying to know about how your IVF's gone.
- Yep, we are.
55
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,439
- All righty. This is that moment!
- I'm so excited.
56
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,840
Um... It's not that. Hang on.
57
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,479
That's my new driver's license.
Let's just...
58
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,639
Um, could it possibly
be on the computer?
59
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,119
No way it's gonna be
on the computer, doll.
60
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,879
It is literally there for show
because computers and I do not mix.
61
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:15,519
We don't get on. No, I find that the
paper is actually a lot more efficient.
62
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,640
Now, hang on.
63
00:03:16,641 --> 00:03:19,199
I have had it this morning cos
I just looked at it before.
64
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,079
It's quite the filing system
you got over there.
65
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,199
You know what? It's a lot more
efficient than it looks.
66
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,839
I had my niece come in
over the summer, and...
67
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:31,559
She's a lovely girl, huge pothead- but
she's actually taken her time. It's quite good.
68
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,560
Ah, yes!
69
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,439
Nat and Steph.
70
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,440
Hooray!
71
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,799
Oh my God!
72
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:45,119
- Oh no, I didn't mean hooray- I meant hooray for finding the file.
- Oh. Right, yep.
73
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,079
- That was really quick.
- Yeah.
74
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,239
All right. Um...
75
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,840
Yeah, no. So I'm really sorry,
but you're not pregnant.
76
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,799
- Right.
- Damn.
77
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,159
- Look, here's the thing. It definitely takes a few tries.
- Yeah, we've- we've been trying.
78
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,439
This was our fourth try, so...
79
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,079
- Yeah.
- God, what are we doing wrong?
80
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,919
Is there anything we can, like, do or
Steph can, like- Is there anything she can eat?
81
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,599
I mean, you could have a lot more
unprotected sex. Ha ha! That's...
82
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,799
No one's in the mood for jokes.
Um...
83
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:23,559
Uh, no. Look, this is very much
a part of the process, all right?
84
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,319
You do have a number of fertilised
eggs from your last retrieval.
85
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,039
- Yeah.
- OK?
86
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,720
So, really, we could
start another round...
87
00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,719
kind of when you're ready.
88
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,879
Yeah?
89
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,880
Mm.
90
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,160
Mm. Look at that.
91
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,279
Hmm. Little coffee spill.
92
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,720
Do you know what? Had a crown done.
93
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,520
All fell out. The coffee falls out.
94
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,160
Babe.
95
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,560
- So you're not gonna drive into oncoming traffic, are ya?
- No.
96
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:13,960
- Can't be bothered.
- That's the spirit.
97
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,960
Just feels like I'm failing at
98
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,479
- a test that I've done the homework for, you know?
- Mm.
99
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,839
Would a participation certificate
feel fun or patronising?
100
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:31,959
We're gonna have to deal with everyone's
really sad, sympathetic faces as we tell them that,
101
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,960
nope, it didn't work...
102
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,600
again.
103
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,159
I reckon we cancel
Lily's birthday dinner.
104
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,439
- No, we can't, because we'll never hear the end of it.
- It's not even her birthday.
105
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,119
I know. I'm just having a moment,
but I'll be fine.
106
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,199
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah.
107
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,200
I'll be good by tonight.
108
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,159
- Are you sure she wants to do that?
- Eh, she's fine.
109
00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,239
No, we're not cancelling, OK? This is
the first of my many birthday celebrations.
110
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,119
You're turning 34, mate. It's
hardly, like, a significant birthday.
111
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,119
Yeah, but I've already told you guys
the insignificant ones are my favourite.
112
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,759
OK, then let's just get
takeaways or something.
113
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,159
- No, she said cooking would be good for her process.
- Really? It doesn't look like it.
114
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,279
Um...
115
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,439
Dinner's ready.
116
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,040
Yay!
117
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,359
Sorry. I think I cried into
the gravy, so it's a bit salty.
118
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,719
- Nah, it's yum.
- Yeah. I reckon that's your best one yet, baby.
119
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,720
Thanks.
120
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,759
Oh my God. Steph.
121
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:39,039
I'm really sorry about what happened to you
today, but you're making my birthday party so bleak.
122
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,639
- Lily!
- What? She is.
123
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,399
She won't stop crying.
She looks like a panda.
124
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,919
I think I have
almost got it out of me.
125
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,039
- I barely even noticed it.
- Thank you, Johnny.
126
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,839
What?! We're supposed to be
celebrating my 34th birthday.
127
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,559
Lily, you have two more
birthday dinners this week,
128
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,879
plus that zoo thing, which
I- What is the zoo thing?
129
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,239
- Oh my God.
- It's like a night zoo party.
130
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,799
- And it's for grown-ups?
- Yes! Oh my gosh.
131
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,039
- OK. - I put a deposit down.
- You're totally right.
132
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,839
And I do. I really do need to
stop crying, babe.
133
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,920
Maybe we just need
to get more drunk.
134
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,680
- I don't know if that's a good idea.
- Oh, go, go.
135
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,159
Whoo!
136
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,079
- So there is power in bottoms?
- Oh, yeah. No, you can be a power...
137
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,919
- Johnny!
- Yeah! Whoo!
138
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,959
- Oh my God, Johnny. - And you got beers. Thank you.
- I didn't even know you'd gone.
139
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:46,359
You know what? I'm glad that I didn't get pregnant
because I do not want to ruin my gorgeous body.
140
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,719
Oh!
141
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,600
Give me another one.
142
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:52,919
Babe, did I tell you that my trainer
said I have very strong deltoids?
143
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,200
Which ones are my deltoids?
144
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,600
I love you guys!
145
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,200
Oh!
146
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,039
Do you know what...
147
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,119
what really pisses... me off though?
148
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:11,159
People - hey just freak out about
getting pregnant by accident.
149
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,359
- But we can't even get pregnant on purpose.
- Yes. Yes, like my friend Portia.
150
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:20,319
Remember her from high school? You know, her
boyfriend's sperm was in the pool, and she was in the...
151
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,999
- She hopped in the pool, and then it swam accidentally inside her.
- Um, yeah, look,
152
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,039
- I don't know Portia; I don't know your school.
- It's anatomically impossible.
153
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,239
- But I definitely know that's impossible.
- Sperm cannot, like...
154
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,239
She was a virgin before that. Well, explain
her kid. She's got, like, a 14-year-old now.
155
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,439
- Hey, pick up four.
- I don't know. It could also be my sperm, though, you know?
156
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,759
Cos I've got my laptop in my lap all the
time, so I could've just cooked my sperm.
157
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,999
Nah, it's not your sperm. You've
got really good sperm. It's...
158
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,480
Yeah, it's definitely my...
159
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,519
- rotten eggs.
- Sorry, Steph, you gotta pick up.
160
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,799
- Johnny, what the fuck? What?
- She said not to go easy on her.
161
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,280
It's fine. It's totally fine.
162
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,919
- Four.
- OK, What about this?
163
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:05,239
Don't get mad, but, like, have you ever just thought,
Steph, that maybe it doesn't need to all be you?
164
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,959
What about Nat?
165
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:12,279
- Just saying, you know? Like, your egg, but use Nat as the...
- Microwave.
166
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,079
- Yeah, like the chef, the cook, you know?
- Yeah.
167
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,279
Or what if Nat just
does the whole thing?
168
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,280
Oh.
169
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,999
- Well, I mean, Nat doesn't wanna carry.
- Nah, exactly.
170
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,079
I mean, she's on all the mummy blogs,
and she follows all the mummy influencers.
171
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,159
I guess we haven't...
ruled it out entirely.
172
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,639
Have we? No.
173
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,440
Have we not ruled it out, though?
174
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,999
It'll be weird, though - like, me
and Johnny as a combo. Yeah.
175
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,839
- Not since, like, my year 12 semiformal.
- Ooh, triggered.
176
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,919
- Um... I mean, it's crazy, but...
- Yeah.
177
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,919
It kind of-
It kind of makes sense.
178
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,479
What? You- You think
you and Johnny make sense?
179
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,759
- Yeah. I mean, what's stopping us?
- We've got the stuff.
180
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,719
- Because this is completely insane!
- We've got all the stuff here though, right?
181
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,079
Yes. I've got that tofurky baster
thing from Midwinter Christmas.
182
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,599
- Wait, are you seriously serious about-?
- What's stopping us?
183
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,399
- What's stopping us?
- Uh, because it's crazy, babe.
184
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,119
- Yeah, but like, fuck the clinic.
- Fuck the fertility clinic.
185
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,039
Why don't we just, like, you know,
take the power back...
186
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,279
You know, all the embryo transfers
and the waiting list and,
187
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,519
like, that weird woman at reception with the red
hair who's always like, 'Oh, here they come again!'
188
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,839
You want a baby in your body?
189
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,240
I just want a family with you.
190
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,640
That's what I want.
191
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,639
- OK. Got it! I've got it!
- I've got it! I've got it!
192
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,199
- I've got it. It's all clean.
- It's totally fine.
193
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,039
So, Johnny, that's for you to
into, you know?
194
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,479
- And that's for you to... hwoop!
- Oh.
195
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,359
- I don't know.
- Can we just, you know, tie-ho on the- on the things?
196
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,319
- Because, like, is it even a good time for you the moment?
- Yeah. I mean, yeah.
197
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:49,999
- Yeah, it is, but...
- Oh, OK.
198
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
- Yeah.
- Right.
199
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:56,599
- No, no, no. We can't.
- Yeah, I just don't think this is, like, the appropriate forum
200
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,039
- for us to be having this conversation.
- It's a fun thought.
201
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,639
Oh, it's a fun thought. Don't
get me wrong. It's fun thought.
202
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:06,479
But just because we could,
it doesn't mean we should.
203
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,480
Yeah.
204
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,880
I mean, we could.
205
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,120
Should we...?
206
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,680
Here it is.
207
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,440
- Wow!
- That was quick!
208
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,160
Whoo!
209
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,919
Go away! We're gonna make love.
210
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,520
- We have to make love.
- OK, I'm sorry.
211
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,800
Whoo!
212
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,599
Mm!
213
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,399
Oh.
214
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,999
Oh God.
215
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,799
Wait, what time is it?
216
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,679
Because I can't be late
for work today.
217
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,680
Oh, fuck.
218
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,159
Oh.
219
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,959
It's 11.30.
220
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,440
- Oh, what did you say?
- 11.30.
221
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,079
Oh God.
222
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,519
Oh, shit.
223
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,640
Shit.
224
00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:23,239
Shit. Oh, I- I am still drunk.
225
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,799
- Hey, come back to bed.
- I'm so... - Come on.
226
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,479
- Come on.
- Why? Whoa, whoa.
227
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:32,279
- Why are you not freaking out about- about this?
- I don't have work today.
228
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,680
- What?
- I've got the day off.
229
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,919
Ugh.
230
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,519
That is cruel. That is so, so cruel.
231
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:46,520
You know what? I take back everything I've
ever said about teachers not being paid enough.
232
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,840
Oh my God.
233
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,440
I think I still have
Johnny's sperm in me.
234
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:08,239
'Oh my God.' I have not uttered
that sentence for a long time.
235
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:13,319
I think I feel nostalgic for being,
like, straight.
236
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,639
- What if you are, like, actually pregnant?
- Oh, babe, look,
237
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,759
I don't think you did a very good job of,
like, getting it all inside me, to be honest.
238
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,599
- Yeah, right.
- No offence.
239
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:27,600
No. See, I have, like, bad hand-eye
coordination, I guess.
240
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,639
- You should call in sick.
- I can't. I can't call in sick. - Come on.
241
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,399
- Let's go get a big breakfast somewhere.
- I can't call in sick!
242
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,559
- Why not?
- Because I work for my dad,
243
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,839
who has zero empathy
in these situations.
244
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,039
- Aww, you're my little nepo baby.
- Don't.
245
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,359
- Nom-nom-nom that privilege.
- Stop it!
246
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,440
For me and you.
247
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,839
OK, well, I'm gonna go pee.
248
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,359
- Then I'm gonna shake out the rest of Johnny's sperm.
- Oh my God!
249
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,519
- Ai-ai-ai.
- Don't even, like, joke about it.
250
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:05,679
- And you, do not- do not drive.
- Oh yeah. I'm definitely over the limit. I'll catch a cab.
251
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:09,359
This whole sperm thing has
been such a fun throwback,
252
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,759
but I will make sure that
I get the rest out of me.
253
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,760
Yeah.
254
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,439
- My Uber's here, babe. See ya.
- Bye, babe!
255
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,599
Morning.
256
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,199
- Ooh, can I...?
- Yeah. Yeah.
257
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,719
Oh, man.
258
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,719
- Is Lily alive?
- Yeah, I um...
259
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,319
I think I heard her throwing up in the
bathroom this morning, so that's good.
260
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,519
- Steph had to Uber to work.
- Oh.
261
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,119
- Why didn't she just pull a sickie?
- Cos she's a loser.
262
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,239
She's, like, desperate for
her dad's love and approval.
263
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,319
- Oh, sad.
- I'm joking. I'm joking.
264
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,320
I love her.
265
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,520
Hey, um...
266
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,839
I don't think I'm pregnant,
by the way.
267
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,840
Really?
268
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,519
No, I was just...
269
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,039
Man, I was really
nervous this morning.
270
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,639
I'd promised your dad that I would
never get you pregnant, so...
271
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,639
- Yeah, that was like, when were 16, though, you know?
- Yeah, but a promise is a promise.
272
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,720
- You're an idiot.
- Yeah.
273
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,559
OK, ready?
274
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,919
Let's go, team bibs, team no bibs.
That's it.
275
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,039
Honestly, what is the point
in watching the...
276
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,119
- They can't even tackle each other.
- We're here for morale.
277
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,399
No. I'm here to see these bitches
take each other down.
278
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,519
Oh, lovely!
279
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,999
They've actually had a
really tough season so far.
280
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,519
Like, puberty's setting in, so
it's making them all a bit crazy.
281
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,119
- It's weird that you know that.
- Well, I know heaps about sports.
282
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,319
Oh.
283
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,279
Ooh, oh dear.
284
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,679
Ah, you see, this is why
I could never be a teacher.
285
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,639
- I'd be so suspicious. She's just playing that out.
- No, I think she's really hurt.
286
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,999
Total Hollywood.
287
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,679
- Would you mind?
- Oh no.
288
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,079
- Hello.
- God's sake, you've gotta be kidding me.
289
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,719
- Blow the whistle?
- Do you wanna blow it?
290
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,999
Boo!
291
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,279
OK, is that enough milf-gawking for
one day? I'd quite like my free breakfast.
292
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,559
Oh, hello.
293
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:06,199
- The baby's just getting good.
- The what?
294
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,559
- The game, the game.
- The game's just... getting good.
295
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,319
I'm the whistle monster.
296
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,639
Oh no, you've broken it!
297
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:21,839
I swear to God, if one of those kids has
given me a super flu or some germy kid shit,
298
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,479
I'm gonna bench them for
the rest of the season.
299
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,919
Can I get you anything? Peppy tea?
300
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:32,399
Big plastic ball with a door, and I open the door
and I lock myself in, and the kids can't touch me.
301
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,400
That's a good idea.
302
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,840
Um, so...
303
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
I've been thinking that
304
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,960
I might want to try again.
305
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,680
Nothing's really changed for me,
you know?
306
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,040
I still really want to have a baby.
307
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,960
What do you think?
308
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,280
I think I love you.
309
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,199
But I've also just loved how
relaxed you've been, you know?
310
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:21,319
And it's just nice to think that we can have
this time together that doesn't involve me, like,
311
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:26,479
- injecting you with hormones every night, you know?
- Yeah, I do. I do get that.
312
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,839
- You've already booked the appointment, haven't you?
- Yep.
313
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:34,440
- Steph...
- But it's just to, like, see what our next steps might be.
314
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,199
- When is it?
- Next week.
315
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,799
- Next- Next week?!
- Yeah, but we don't have to start anything, you know.
316
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,080
It's just, like, a super
casual, casual chit-chat.
317
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:52,439
OK. I'm not gonna debate you on it because I
can see you've already made your mind up, so...
318
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,440
Thank you.
319
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,439
- Come here, you little sicko.
- Eh? What?
320
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,119
- Give me your jizz.
- No.
321
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,559
- You got some jizz?
- Yeah, I do.
322
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,999
- I want it.
- Mm-hmm.
323
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,600
- I want your jizz.
- Ooh, that was a good one.
324
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,479
Shit.
325
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,679
Shit.
326
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,680
Shit, shit, shit.
327
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,719
- Are you all good? - Yeah. Is, um, Lily home?
- Uh, nah, she's gone out with, um...
328
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,719
I missed my period.
329
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,519
Oh. Oh!
330
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,520
Wow, right. Um...
331
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,839
- That's normal, though, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kinda. I mean, I guess...
332
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,159
- I missed my last one as well.
- Sorry, what?
333
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,959
- Oh, it's irregular sometimes.
- Sometimes? - Yeah, kind of.
334
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,039
Kind of. OK, um, I reckon,
um, talk to Steph about that.
335
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,199
- I'm sure it's chill.
- Nat, talk to Steph about it.
336
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,119
Well, Steph, this
is a lovely surprise.
337
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,199
- Have you missed me?
- Yeah, heaps!
338
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,639
- No Nat today?
- Oh, she's just feeling a bit under the weather, actually.
339
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,439
- Do you know what? I think there's something going around.
- Yeah. Yeah.
340
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,999
Yes. Uh, how are you feeling?
341
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,999
Um, yeah, I'm OK.
342
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,879
I just thought it might be a good
idea to talk about next steps.
343
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,360
Yes. How's the baby feeling?
344
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,879
- Excuse me?
- The baby. How's the baby feeling?
345
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,719
Uh, w-what baby?
346
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,439
You don't think...
347
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,319
You don't think I... Nah!
348
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,480
- No way.
- Nat.
349
00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:50,959
- I should do a pregnancy test.
- You should do a pregnancy test. - I hate peeing on command.
350
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,040
I don't have a baby. I'm...
351
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:59,120
- I'm here to get help with having a baby? Yeah.
- Of course. I'm so sorry.
352
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,719
Jesus, Nat. Why do you always have to
come to me with your personal problems?
353
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,759
- Will you just excuse me for one moment?
- Uh, what's going on?
354
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,079
This is just like that time where
I had to hide that you were bi
355
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,319
for a year, and then I
got that stomach ulcer.
356
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,039
- Does it say that I'm pregnant on that piece of paper?
- Just one moment is all I need.
357
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,040
Am I pregnant?
358
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,079
- It's negative.
- Oh, thank God.
359
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,639
Bloody hell, Nat.
Scared the shit outta me.
360
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,839
I'm going outside
to do some mindfulness.
361
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,399
Oh, my God. I cannot believe this is
happening. I cannot believe this is happening!
362
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,919
Six weeks ago, I wasn't pregnant, so
how could I possibly be pregnant today?
363
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,519
- I don't know.
- You don't know either?
364
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,599
Do you think it could be that your- your
filing system is- is completely fucked?
365
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,239
- Um, no.
- A baby. Oh my God.
366
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,240
Surprise!
367
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,000
- Where's Nat?
- Still in the bathroom, I think.
368
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,679
Nat?
369
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,399
Nat?
370
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,400
Nat, let me in.
371
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,559
Nat,
372
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,560
I'm pregnant.
373
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,800
Me too.
374
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,080
Oh.
375
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,479
♪ I love to wake up
in the morning
376
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,880
♪ but keep dreaming without warning.
The day is gone.
377
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,359
♪ My friends are sitting laughing
while I just keep on napping.
378
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,679
♪ They're knocking on my door,
but I'm knocking them down.
379
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:57,680
♪ They say I'm acting crazy, but
I just want to lie in the sun. ♪
31537
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