All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S07E18.Garage.Sale.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

[muttering indistinctly]

Finally got out--

got that off the wall.
[laughter]

[breathing heavily]

Hey, Oscar.

Big "Will and Grace" fan, huh?

No.

Everybody assumes I am.

I always get them as gifts.

Oh.

Dunder Mifflin is having our
first ever garage sale.

Like many Americans,
we realized we had

a lot of things that
we didn't really need.

And $.10 of every dollar
is going into the party fund,

so we can throw parties
for ourselves.

We convinced Gabe it was okay
because part of the proceeds

are going to
the Ronald McDonald house.

And we had to explain to Kevin
that that's not actually

where Ronald lives.

[loud clattering]

And that was enough
to justify it to Gabe.

[phone ringing]

Dunder Mifflin,
this is Gabe.

How may I direct your call?

I've been demoted.

[laughs] No.

I'm just holding down
the fort.

Erin's job is so easy.

[gasps]

Looks like we're in
the spice district.

Yep.

Taking a ride
on Spice Mountain.

[chuckles weakly]

People, look alive!

It's showtime!

Doors open in three...

two...

one!

[door buzzer]

[applause]

Ooh, yikes.

It's cold, Dwight!

Just shut the door.
Let people come in the front.

It's good that it's cold.

It'll drive business inside.

The signs will
drive business inside.

The warmth will
lure people inside.

- Close it.
- This is how business--

- I'm not closing the doo--
- Close it.

No.
Stop it.

- Just stop.
- Kevin, shut the door.

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

Uh-oh.

Looks like someone's sign's
a little crooked.

Ugh.
It looks awful.

You need a thumbtack?

- Sure.
- Not so fast.

Schrutes are farmers
by hobby

and traders by trade.

When the first Schrute arrived
in this country,

he traded three marbles

for all of the hundreds of
acres of Schrute Farms.

Guns may also
have been involved.

Through the art of the swap,

I will walk out
of this garage sale

with the finest item here.

I will trade you
for the used candle.

Forget you.

Come on.

It's trash,
like your sign

unless you have this.

Fine. Just give it.

That's how it's done.

Whoa.

I love her.

How much for that?

I, uh--

I actually don't know
why I brought that,

because it's kind of priceless.

$10.

Mmm, no.

I paid $500 for that.

- 200.
- 500.

- 20.
- 45.

- Get lost.
- Damn it.

And that is how you do it.

You know, we don't have
to sell that if you don't want.

If it's a problem
with the neon,

I can have my neon guy
take a look.

No, you know, it's really
more for a bachelor pad.

I just want to get
a fair price.

Well, we could put it
in storage in case.

In case?
In case of what?

Well, you know,
in case...

maybe something changes.

I don't have an "in case."

Do you have an "in case"?

No.

How much
for the slip n' slide?

Get lost.

Yes, hello, Mr. Flax.

This is Michael Scott,
your daughter's boss.

I am calling because
I am going to have to fire

your daughter Holly, because
she's such a terrible employee.

I'm just kidding.
[laughs]

I'm kidding.

I'm actually calling...

because I'm in love with her.

I love your daughter
and I have for some time

and I would like to discuss
my intentions with you,

which are to ask her
to marry me

and I was just hoping that you
would give me your approval.

And this isn't a joke.

So call me back
when you get this

and I look forward
to speaking.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Are you serious?

A half-used candle?

Get out of here, Dwight.

You're blocking my table
with your giant body.

Oh, 'cause there's
a huge line of people

who want your spinster tchotchkes.

Screw you, man.
People like my stuff.

People like Ryan?

Let me tell you
about men like him.

He comes over and you're like,
"hey, baby,

let me light a candle,"
and you pull out this one.

Half-used.

He's like,
"who else is she seeing?

I better lock her down fast."

You can take my
Helen Fielding collection.

And the Jennifer Weiner collection.

Oh, my gosh.

You have the "Dallas"
board game?

Yeah.

When I was a kid,
I was on "Dallas."

- Really?
- Yeah.

We missed our
connecting flight

and we spent the entire day
on Dallas.

Then we spent a week
on Hawaii.

I was on heaven.

We should play it.

Well, there's no instructions.

It's "Dallas," the game.

- We can figure it out.
- Yeah.

I'm pretty good
at board games.

Well, shall we make it
a little interesting?

Sure.

What is this?

How did those get out?

I'm sorry.

"Professor Copperfield's
miracle legumes"?

I was in Jamaica
and I got lost.

And it was getting dark
this one night

and then out of nowhere,
this guy comes with a cart

and he's selling these.

Dwight, he told me things
about myself

that there's no way
he could have known.

That's a common
swindler's trick.

Probably.
Probably.

So I buy some.

I turn the corner.

I feel like an idiot.

So I go back to get my money.

He was gone.

So you want to sell me
magic beans?

[laughs]

Correction.

I do not want to sell you
Professor Copperfield's

miracle legumes.

Nice try.
No, correction.

Terrible try.

Michael called Dad?

Your friend Michael, yes.

What's going on?

Um, I think I know,

but I'll sound stupid
if I'm wrong.

Uh, is Dad there?

- Hollis?
- Hi, Dad.

There was a program
on TV about India.

Oh, okay.

Um, did you connect
with Michael?

You want to watch it?

I--I'm not there, Dad.

I'm in Pennsylvania.

What--what are you
doing there?

I live here.

Um, can I talk to you
about Michael?

I'll--I'll put
your mother on.

No, no, no, Dad.

Holly?

Mom, Dad can't seem
to focus on the subject.

Don't you worry about him.
He's got me.

Well, who do you have?

I have your father.

He's right here.
I'll put him on.

No, Mom. [groans]

Your mail.

Sealed with a kiss.
My own personal touch.

And I'm done with the mail.

There was the program on TV
about India.

Oh, which one's decaf?

Michael! Michael!
Hey!

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm just coming out to see

what you're doing
and maybe stop you.

Oh, you know what?
Do you have a siphon?

I think I'm gonna
run out of gas.

Why do you need more gas?

Well, I'm...

writing a message.

Is it a good message
or a bad message?

I'm asking Holly
a question in fire.

Are you proposing?

Maybe.

[gasps]

- Oh!
- Wow.

You know what?

I've got gas on my hands
and my shoes.

Would you--would you
light it?

- Do the honors, please?
- Yeah.

Yeah, no problem.

- Pam?
- Yep?

Could you light this, please?

Michael, you've had
two ideas today...

and one of them was great

and the other one was terrible.

I am not in the mood
for riddles, Pam.

This is terrible.

No, this is romantic.

You know what?
I'm gonna get a hose

and then we'll talk about it.

Okay?
We'll figure it out.

I'll be right back.
Just stay there.

Free sample?

My mom makes the best pesto
in the world.

And I always tell her,
"Mom, you should sell this.

You'd make a fortune."

And she always says,
"No, it's just for family."

Well, finally, I was like,
"[bleep] it, I'll sell it."

So I'm like, "Mom, I need you
to make a ton of pesto

for a pesto party
for all my friends."

She's like, "Uh, okay."

Pesto party?
Really?

Anyway, she makes, like,
100 bottles worth.

It's so good.

And Phyllis just had that "mom"
look I wanted.

You got this kosher certified?

No, I meant like,
"It's cool.

It's kosher.
It's all good."

Ryan, you have such
an interesting mind.

So creative.

All these new business ideas
and artistic projects.

- [chuckles]
- Thank you.

What you got there?

Oh, it's just Stanley's
old photo album.

I was thinking about
throwing it in the garbage.

I mean, why would I want
some random Black man's

old photo album sitting
on my bookshelf?

I'm not James Franco.

Things are going very well.

I traded a thumbtack
for Meredith's junk,

for Kelly's crap,
for Phyllis's garbage,

for Oscar's trash,
for Stanley's crap,

for Ryan's junk,
for Creed's garbage,

for a very cute squid
that Erin happened to have.

Jim, put those away.

I'm really sorry.

Pam must have put those out.

All right,
just out of curiosity,

what were the claims
for those beans?

They're legumes, Dwight.

And you're just gonna
make fun of me,

so why would I?

[scoffs]

You know what?

This ends now.

Okay, why is it too cloudy

to write in the sky?

Isn't white
the perfect background?

Hey, Michael.

Everyone's
in the conference room.

Why?

You called the meeting.
I don't--

I did?

Okay.
Thank you all for coming.

I would like to talk
to you today about...

recycling.

- Michael?
- Yes.

We are a family.

I could not agree
with you more.

And I've always believed
that we should all

be very involved in one
another's personal lives

in a very major way.

- Yes, thank you.
- So about this proposal thing.

No, no, no, no, no.
My mind's made up.

I am not going
to change my mind.

You can't talk me out of it.

Michael,
she's perfect for you.

- She's the one.
- She's amazing.

This is very exciting.

[chuckles]

So we just--

we want to help you plan
the proposal

so that it's safe
and responsible

and realistic and doable.

Yes, it's probably none
of our business.

But he tried to burn down
a building.

I had a great idea
until you ruined it.

You want to know
how to do it?

Here's how you do it.

Take her out to dinner,
go down on one knee.

If you are in costume,
you did something wrong.

If at any point
you find yourself

tying the ring
to a dog's collar,

stop and look at yourself.

Hmm.
[speaks in Texan accent]

I'm gon' play me
a little old blackmail card.

Nice.

And call a proxy meeting
and take control

and take control of Ewing Oil
once and for all.

No, you can't do that.

You can't play
a blackmail card

and call a proxy meeting
in the same turn.

Why not?

Seems to me we're
just making up rules

'cause somebody forgot
to staple the rule book

to the inside of the game
like a normal human being.

And I'm gonna play this here
"share the wealth" card.

Ooh!

Which entitles me to half
of both of you all's money.

So if you don't mind--

No, this card is from
the wrong game.

This is from the game
of "Life. "

It was in the box.

- Well played.
- Thank you.

We must honorably adhere
to the rules

that we are making up
on the spot.

No, but that's not fair.

Well, that's Dallas.

Dallas, indeed.

This is your mom's old stuff?

Yeah, mostly.

How's she doing?

It didn't go down easy,

but she's made some friends
and it's already better

than it was.

How do you know
when it's time?

I don't know
if you ever know.

And if you wait
for the day when your parent

comes to you and says,
"I can't take care of myself,"

it's never gonna happen.

I have a box of bras under
the table if you're interested.

Let me see.

Okay, I think animals
in proposals are out.

Right, Ryan?

Didn't you read in one
of your blogs

that animals are out?

Blogs are out,
but people are texting

each other, "no more animals,"
yeah.

How about this?

I throw a corpse dressed
like me

off of the roof.

- It hits the ground...
- Yep.

The head pops off.

This leads to me
saying the line,

"I lost my head when
I fell in love with you."

That's a guarantee.

Easy enough to get a corpse.

You just go to a med school.

I already have the ring.

Don't think you need
the corpse then.

There's the ring.

Holy [bleep]!
Is that real?

Yeah.

They say, "three years' salary."

No.

Is she not gonna like that?

No, she's gonna love it.

So I think you can
keep the proposal simple.

You know,
like when Jim proposed,

he just--
he got down on one knee

and he told me
that he loved me

and he asked me to marry him.

And it was perfect.

Where was that?

At a gas station.

[laughter]

A gas station?

Well, it was when she was
working in New York,

so it was halfway
between both of us.

That must have been
a surprise,

when, at the gas station,
you proposed.

No, it was really--
it was really sweet.

It was raining and--

Oh, yeah.

You didn't say that
the weather was bad.

That sounds perfect.

I want this
to be an event

that everyone talks about
always and forever.

Totally reasonable.

I'm just--
it's terrifying.

She's not gonna say no.

I know,
but I'm still scared.

- I don't know why.
- 'cause it's a big deal.

I mean, I knew Pam
was gonna say yes,

but I was still scared.

You were scared?

Yeah.
It's scary.

This is, by far, the best
conference room meeting

we have ever had.

So where are we
with the corpse?

- No.
- Let's take a vote.

- Yeah, no.
- It's no.

- Yeah, no on the corpse.
- Paula Poundstone.

What about her?
How would that work?

I throw Paula Poundstone
off the roof...

- Mm-hmm.
- And somehow I work it in

- to the discussion--
- Stop.

That's another great idea.

And safe.

- Okay. All right. Good.
- I think we have a lot

of options.
Let's just take a little break

and we'll come back
and finalize everything.

- Very good.
- Okay?

- All right.
- Michael.

It's gonna be great.

All right, I'll just--
I'll plan it out.

Could we maybe get some food

- at the next meeting?
- Sure. Yeah.

We'll do, uh, Chinese.

Or no, we'll do chips and salsa
and guac

- and dumplings and--
- Okay, I can't eat

- any of that stuff.
- Okay.

Well, thanks, guys.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

- Feel good?
- Yeah. Thanks.

Good.

Get this.

Kevin thought I was gonna
sell my Bowflex for $200

and I told him, "Dude,
this was a prop in my movie."

Look, I need to talk to you.

Okay, it's because
we haven't sold anything.

You know what?

We just wait till
the end of the day.

People get desperate
and they're gonna pay anything.

I think I need
to go home to Colorado.

My dad isn't doing so well.

Oh, okay.
For how long?

I don't know.

- Is he all right?
- Yeah.

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just--you know,
I just don't want to go home

when he's on his deathbed,
you know?

I want to be there
when he's still my dad.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you definitely
need to do that.

And I want you
to come with me.

Now, I--

I know that's a lot
to ask of a boyfriend.

Okay.

And I was thinking,
you know,

maybe since given
our last conversation

and that we're both ready...

Michael Scott, will you--

No, no.
Shh!

Shu--shut it.

[chuckles]

Oh, God.
Nope, nope, nope.

Uh... what?

No, I am not going to be
proposed to in the break room.

That is not going
to be our story.

Mm-mmm.

Should have burned this place
down when I had the chance.

Okay, guys, it's my turn.

You can't go.
You're dead.

I shot you five moves ago.

Yeah, I told you
you can't shoot people.

I told you
we're way past rules.

We have been for some time now.

Start having rules now,

everything we've built collapses.

Well, this is stupid
and I want my money back.

Where's the money?

Yeah, where is it?

Okay, you know what?

I am never ever
playing games

with you two again.

And that is "Dallas."

Ryan, where did you get
this picture?

My mom also makes
the best salsa.

Nice telescope.

Gives you a real good look
at the moon,

and let me tell you,
it ain't made of cheese.

[chuckling]

Only thing is, I don't really
need a telescope,

'cause I have a pie.

- Nice.
- Not bad, right?

I can't really tell.

Nice.

I know, right?

What the--

Oh, my God.

That--

that's impossible.

It is, right?

I mean, it's impossible.

[sighs]

All right, I'll take 'em.

- They're probably worthless.
- Probably.

Leave the telescope.

I started
with a thumbtack

and traded my way
to a telescope.

But in a way,
the most valuable thing here

wasn't the telescope at all.

No.

It was this
packet of beans,

so I traded the telescope
for it.

And I can--I can just
go buy another telescope.

Hey.

- How'd we do?
- $13.

That's great.

And we still have most
of our stuff.

Good.

Listen, about earlier--

No, no, no, no, no.
Let's not talk about that.

I was wrong to put you
in that position.

I--

Michael, you're my life now.

I'm not going to Colorado.

Shh.

You know what?

Let's go for a little walk.

I want to show you some stuff.

So this is one of my favorite
places in the world.

Why?

This is where Toby announced

that he was going
to Costa Rica.

It was the happiest day
of my life...

until the day you came
to replace him.

Let's go in here.

And this is where
we first kissed.

I remember.

And this is where
we first made love.

Remember what I tried there?

[whispers]
Michael!

[chuckles]

Through these blinds
is where I first saw you.

And you had all these boxes
and I thought

you were the prettiest mover
I had ever seen.

And I was sitting
at this desk...

when I called you
to tell you that I had herpes

and that I was still
in love with you

and you said that
it was over

and that you didn't love me.

And thank goodness,
none of that was true.

Including the herpes.

- It was an ingrown hair.
- Yes.

Right in here.

This is where we co-ran
our first meeting.

Remember?
Obesity awareness?

Mm-hmm.

Saved a lot of lives
that day.

That's where you
first met Michael Klump.

Oh, I say--I say
I sit on you.

[laughter]

And right over there,

that's where you realized
that Meredith

was prostituting herself
for Outback steak.

And I will never forget that you
had the cutest look

on your face because you
couldn't believe it.

You thought it was so wrong.

And over here--

What happened here?

Well, nothing.

Nothing really.

I would just find
an excuse to come here...

so I could stare at you
through that window.

This is what I'd do.

[chuckles]

Nice.

Let's go in here.

Here?

Hi, guys.

This is where our love faces
its toughest test.

After this, just smooth sailing
for the rest of our lives.

Holly, will you marry me?

No.

Marry me, Holly.

No.

That guy's got more than
he can handle as it is.

Will you marry me?

No.

That marriage
would be a sham.

- Will you marry me?
- No.

Easy no.

- Will you marry me?
- No.

That would be hot.
I would pay to see that.

- Will you marry me, Holly?
- No.

Only one that I was
kind of worried about.

This is where
I fell in love with you...

and this is where
I ask you to marry me.

It started with a broken--

[fire alarm beeping]

[gasps]

[both laughing]

- Aah!
- Yeah.

[gasps]

[imitating Yoda]
Holly Flax...

marrying me will you be?

[imitating Yoda]
Your wife becoming...

be will I.

[laughter]

[cheering]

That is so awesome.

- Congratulations!
- Congratulations!

Thank you!
Thank you.

So, guys, guys, guys, guys...

we're moving to Colorado.

All of us?

- Yep.
- Wait. What?

Holly has to go back
to Colorado.

I'm going with her.
I'm leaving.