All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S07E16.Threat.Level.Midnight.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,389 I GOT A DELIVERY FOR YOU. 2 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,016 LEAVE IT AT RECEPTION. 3 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,519 I'M SUPPOSED TO DELIVER THIS ONE IN PERSON. 4 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:23,314 [bullets ricocheting] 5 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,403 [gun clicking] 6 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,406 [dramatic music] 7 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:38,371 ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,137 CLEAN UP ON AISLE FIVE. 9 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,143 AFTER THREE YEARS OF WRITING, ONE YEAR OF SHOOTING, 10 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,562 FOUR YEARS OF RESHOOTING, AND TWO YEARS OF EDITING, 11 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,981 I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED MY MOVIE, 12 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,317 THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT. 13 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,320 {\an8}[cheerful music] 14 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:17,285 {\an8}♪ ♪ 15 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:34,636 {\an8}ERIN, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND? 16 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,722 {\an8}JUST TERRIBLE. THE WORST. 17 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,893 {\an8}SEE ANY MOVIES? 18 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,687 {\an8}- ERIN, ERIN... - YES? 19 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,897 {\an8}- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - GUYS... 20 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,774 {\an8}DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT OUR OWN MICHAEL SCOTT 21 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,234 {\an8}HAS MADE A MOVIE 22 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,861 {\an8}AND THAT HE MAYBE WILL LET US WATCH IT, 23 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,072 {\an8}BUT ONLY IF EVERYBODY'S DYING TO SEE IT? 24 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,741 {\an8}THAT'S--WELL, DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH. 25 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,243 {\an8}THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT 26 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:01,079 {\an8}IS THE GREAT LOST FILM OF MICHAEL SCOTT. 27 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,456 {\an8}WE'RE ALL IN IT, FROM, LIKE, YEARS AND YEARS AGO. 28 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,666 {\an8}IT'S LIKE A HOME MOVIE. 29 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:08,795 {\an8}YEAH, IF MICHAEL SCOTT DID YOUR HOME MOVIE. 30 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,840 {\an8}MICHAEL SCREENED A WORK IN PROGRESS FOR US YEARS AGO, 31 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,925 {\an8}AND IT DIDN'T GO WELL. 32 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,927 {\an8}WE THOUGHT IT WAS A COMEDY. 33 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,346 {\an8}EVERYTHING POINTED TO IT BEING A COMEDY. 34 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,431 {\an8}YEP. 35 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,932 {\an8}WE'D LOVE TO SEE IT. 36 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,268 {\an8}IF EVERYONE FINISHES THEIR WORK FIRST. 37 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,895 {\an8}SWEET. I WILL GO INVITE HOLLY. 38 00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,899 {\an8}OKAY, EVERYONE, I KNOW WE'RE REALLY EXCITED 39 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,735 {\an8}TO SEE THIS MOVIE THAT EVERYBODY'S IN, 40 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,029 {\an8}BUT WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT MICHAEL IS SENSITIVE. 41 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,739 {\an8}SO LET'S STAY POSITIVE. 42 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:39,492 {\an8}AND NO LAUGHING, NO COMMENTS, JUST POSITIVE ENERGY, 43 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,995 {\an8}AND WE'LL HAVE A PURE FUN DAY, OKAY? 44 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,205 {\an8}THANKS, MOM. 45 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,623 {\an8}YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU MADE A MOVIE. 46 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,625 {\an8}MM-HMM. IT'S GOT ACTION. IT'S GOT HEART. 47 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,918 {\an8}IT'S GOT SYMBOLISM. 48 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,046 {\an8}- IT'S GOT YOU? - IT'S GOT A LOT OF ME. 49 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,006 {\an8}I CAN'T WAIT. 50 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,469 {\an8}LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT. 51 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,555 {\an8}[upbeat dramatic music] [cheers and applause] 52 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:05,727 {\an8}♪ ♪ 53 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,479 {\an8}TUNA! 54 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,607 {\an8}[applause] 55 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,734 {\an8}YEAH! 56 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,862 {\an8}[applause] 57 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,284 MICHAEL SCARN? 58 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,371 WELL, THAT IS AN INTERESTING STORY. 59 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:31,211 HE WAS ONCE THE BEST SECRET AGENT IN THE BUSINESS. 60 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,636 THAT WAS YEARS AGO. 61 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,016 WHERE IS HE NOW? 62 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,520 WELL, THAT'S ALSO AN INTERESTING STORY. 63 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,696 MASTER SCARN. 64 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,364 {\an8}MASTER SCARN! 65 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,784 {\an8}I PLAY SAMUEL, MICHAEL SCARN'S ROBOT BUTLER. 66 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,411 {\an8}I WANTED SAMUEL'S VOICE... 67 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,205 {\an8}[robotic voice] TO BE LIKE THIS. 68 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,456 {\an8}BUT MICHAEL THOUGHT THAT SAMUEL SHOULD BE 69 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,250 {\an8}A VERY ADVANCED ANDROID, 70 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:13,336 {\an8}ALMOST INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM A REAL PERSON. 71 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,630 DWIGHT DOES NOT PLAY A ROBOT. 72 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,176 - I'M UP. - IT'S THE PRESIDENT. 73 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,971 - HE NEEDS YOU FOR A MISSION. - TELL HIM I'M RETIRED. 74 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:27,517 IT'S GOLDENFACE. THE MAN WHO KILLED... 75 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,603 DON'T SAY HER NAME. 76 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,273 GOLDENFACE... 77 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,899 THIS MAKES IT PERSONAL. 78 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,902 {\an8}[dramatic music] 79 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,114 {\an8}♪ ♪ 80 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,450 SCARN, YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME. 81 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,910 - [cheers and applause] - HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 82 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,871 I GAVE UP A LOT OF WEEKENDS BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE 83 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:50,915 GOOD FOR MY DAUGHTER TO SEE A BLACK MAN AS PRESIDENT, 84 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,918 EVEN IN A SILLY HOME MOVIE. 85 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,920 WHAT A STUPID WASTE OF TIME. 86 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,214 IT'S YOUR OLD ENEMY, GOLDENFACE. 87 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,675 HE'S AFTER THE NHL ALL-STAR GAME. 88 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,844 HE'S HIDDEN A BOMB SOMEWHERE IN THE STADIUM. 89 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,221 SCARN... 90 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,514 THIS ONE IS PERSONAL FOR ME. 91 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:10,143 I OWN THE STADIUM. I CAN'T SEE IT BLOWN UP. 92 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,603 IT'S MY RETIREMENT PLAN. 93 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,313 WE HAVE TO SEARCH THE STADIUM. 94 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,607 NOT SO FAST. GOLDENFACE HAS TAKEN 95 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,984 ALL OF THE CONCESSION-STAND WORKERS HOSTAGE. 96 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:22,280 SCARN, WILL YOU FIND THESE HOSTAGES AND SAVE THE GAME? 97 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,950 HEADS I DO IT, TAILS I DON'T. 98 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,869 BEST OUT OF SEVEN. 99 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,913 [dramatic action music] 100 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:30,955 HEADS. 101 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,000 ♪ ♪ 102 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,502 - TAILS. - [sighs] 103 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,753 ♪ ♪ 104 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,672 HEADS. 105 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,757 TAILS. 106 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,927 HEADS. 107 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,512 TAILS. 108 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:52,394 ♪ ♪ 109 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,606 LOOKS LIKE THERE'S GONNA BE A CLEAN-UP ON AISLE FIVE. 110 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,150 [cheers and applause] 111 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,824 WELL, THE HOSTAGES WERE SCARED. 112 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:09,202 DON'T YOU GUYS GET IT? NOBODY'S COMING FOR US. 113 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,329 OH, SOMEONE'S COMING, ALL RIGHT. 114 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:15,125 THE ONLY MAN WHO WOULD CARE, MICHAEL SCARN. 115 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,751 [cheers and applause] 116 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:21,756 I ORIGINALLY WANTED DAVID WALLACE TO PLAY GOLDENFACE. 117 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,591 BUT HE HAD TO TURN IT DOWN BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T LOOK GOOD 118 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,177 TO PEOPLE AT CORPORATE. 119 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,430 I SHOULD'VE SAID YES. 120 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,682 WE ALL TAKE OURSELVES TOO SERIOUSLY IN THE MOMENT. 121 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,809 WE THINK EVERYBODY'S WATCHING US AND JUDGING US. 122 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,520 BUT IN REALITY, NOBODY GIVES A DAMN WHAT YOU DO. 123 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,981 THEY'RE ALL TOO CAUGHT UP IN THEIR OWN BULL[bleep]. 124 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:41,693 LIFE IS SHORT. JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. 125 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,821 SEE, I'M GONNA LURE HIM HERE. THEN I'M GONNA KILL EVERYBODY. 126 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,866 THEN I'M GONNA DIG UP SCARN'S DEAD WIFE, 127 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,076 AND I'M GONNA HUMP HER REAL GOOD. 128 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,037 [laughing evilly] 129 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,039 I DID NOT LOVE THE DIALOGUE... 130 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,707 OR THE CHARACTER. 131 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,209 I TOOK THE ROLE TO IMPRESS A RECEPTIONIST 132 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,420 WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS. 133 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,214 BUT RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA GO DO SOME DRUGS. 134 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,216 SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING. 135 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,886 I DID DO MY OWN MAKEUP THOUGH. 136 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,890 WE NEED TO CHOOSE A LEADER. 137 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,976 SOMEONE WHO'S TOUGH ENOUGH TO TAKE ON GOLDENFACE. 138 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,519 I COULD BE THE LEADER. 139 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,896 WHAT MAKES YOU SO TOUGH? 140 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,274 I HAVE EXPERIENCE AS A LEADER, A NEGOTIATOR, 141 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,151 A GENERAL, AND A COP. 142 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,153 IN OTHER WORDS, I'M A MOM. 143 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,782 [chuckles] 144 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,825 IT'LL BE SANDRA. 145 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,244 LISTEN. 146 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,955 OW. 147 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,123 [GRUNTS] 148 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,833 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S LEADER. 149 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,544 IT'S EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELF DOWN HERE 150 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,421 AND THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY OUT 151 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:49,052 AND IT IS THROUGH THAT DOOR. 152 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,554 OH! 153 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,641 [dramatic music] 154 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,435 THOSE DRUGS REALLY HIT THE SPOT. 155 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,272 SO HAVE YOU GUYS CHOSEN A LEADER YET? 156 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,857 GULP! 157 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,610 WELL, THE ALL-STAR GAME WAS THREE DAYS AWAY 158 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,946 SO NATURALLY IT WAS ALL SOLD OUT. 159 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,116 THE ONLY WAY SCARN WAS GETTING IN WAS IN A UNIFORM. 160 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,784 JUST ONE PROBLEM WITH THAT. 161 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,954 SCARN DIDN'T KNOW A HOCKEY STICK FROM A SLIM JIM. 162 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,833 SO HE WENT TO MEET WITH THE FAMED TRAINER, CHEROKEE JACK. 163 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,917 MOP THE ICE. 164 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,585 I'M NOT HERE TO LEARN HOW TO MOP, 165 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,337 I'M HERE TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY HOCKEY. 166 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,463 MOP IT. 167 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,883 [Billy Joel's "Running On Ice"] 168 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,552 * OH ♪ 169 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,637 ♪ I GET NO TRACTION 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING ON ICE ♪ 170 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,141 ♪ IT'S TAKING ME TWICE AS LONG ♪ 171 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,144 ♪ I GET A BAD A REACTION 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING ON ICE ♪ 172 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,855 YEAH, COME ON. COME ON. 173 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:45,984 ♪ ♪ 174 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,946 * YOU GOT TO RUN, RUN, RUN, OH ♪ 175 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,991 - ♪ OH-OH-OH-OH-OH * - AH! 176 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,369 * YOU RUN, YOU RUN, YOU RUN, RUN, RUN, OH ♪ 177 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,914 ♪ OH-OH-OH-OH-OH ♪ 178 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,375 - NOW TAKE THIS. - * RUNNING ON ICE ♪ 179 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,336 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS? 180 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,671 - * RUNNING ON ICE * - MOP. 181 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:11,009 * RUNNING, RUNNING ON ICE ♪ 182 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,011 WELL, MICHAEL SCARN WAS QUICKLY BECOMING 183 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,513 ONE OF THE HOTTEST HOCKEY PLAYERS IN THE COUNTRY. 184 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,265 EACH YEAR THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE 185 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,852 ACCEPTS ONE CIVILIAN AMATEUR TO PLAY IN THE ALL-STAR GAME. 186 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,812 IT'S DOWN TO THE THREE OF YOU. 187 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:27,192 THE FINAL TEST IS SPEED SKATING. 188 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,027 ON YOUR MARKS... 189 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,779 GET SET... 190 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,489 DIE. 191 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:33,907 [dramatic music] 192 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,451 [gunshots] 193 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:43,166 ♪ ♪ 194 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:53,009 [breathing heavily] 195 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,177 NICE TRY, GOLDENFACE, 196 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,554 EXCEPT YOU FORGOT ONE THING: TO KILL ME. 197 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,556 OH, I WASN'T TRYING TO KILL YOU. 198 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,850 I WAS TRYING TO SLOW YOU DOWN. 199 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,729 NO! 200 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,482 - OH, BY THE WAY... - YEAH? 201 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,150 HOW'S YOUR WIFE DOING? 202 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,152 [laughing evilly] 203 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,905 CONGRATULATIONS. 204 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,408 HEY, YOU CAME IN SECOND. NOT BAD EITHER, CHAMP. 205 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,160 I AM SO SORRY I HAVE TO DO THIS. 206 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,495 [choking] 207 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,414 SHH! SHH, SHH! 208 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,500 [choking and wheezing] 209 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,211 [grunts] 210 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,678 I'M SO SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. 211 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,014 I'M INTERCEPTING A NAME... 212 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,057 JASMINE WINDSONG. 213 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,809 SHE WORKS FOR GOLDENFACE. 214 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:46,479 BUT WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT IS, WHO IS THE FUNKY CAT? 215 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,565 NOT WHO, WHAT. 216 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,775 THE FUNKY CAT IS THE HIPPEST JAZZ CLUB IN TOWN. 217 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,281 OH! OH, N-- 218 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,992 [jazz music] 219 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,493 ♪ ♪ 220 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:03,038 HE CUT THE PART WHERE MY CIRCUIT BOARD MALFUNCTIONED? 221 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,749 THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF SPILLING THE DRINK ON ME? 222 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,710 [smooth jazz music] 223 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:12,172 ♪ ♪ 224 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,467 JASMINE WINDSONG? 225 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,219 - I'M A MAN. - OH. 226 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:24,559 * THEY CALL ME JASMINE WINDSONG ♪ 227 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,396 BINGO. 228 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,774 HE FINISHED HIS MOVIE? NO KIDDING. 229 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,484 WOW. THAT'S GREAT. 230 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,444 YEAH, GOOD FOR HIM. 231 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,572 I ALSO HEAR THAT HE HAS A VERY SERIOUS GIRLFRIEND. 232 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,824 THAT IS SO, SO GREAT. [chuckles] 233 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,619 AND I'M GREAT TOO. [chuckles] 234 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,038 GREAT. [clears throat] 235 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,334 [snaps] BEAT IT, TURD. 236 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,753 THANKS, MISTER. 237 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,755 SO YOU ARE JASMINE WINDSONG. 238 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,424 SORRY, I DON'T SIGN AUTOGRAPHS. 239 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,842 WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 240 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,969 LITTLE PLACE CALLED SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA. 241 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,806 - WHOO! - I'M LOOKING FOR SOME PEOPLE. 242 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:06,017 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY HOSTAGES. 243 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,271 WHO SAID THAT THEY WERE HOSTAGES? 244 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,857 STRANGER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 245 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,401 MICHAEL KNEW THAT THE ONLY WAY 246 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,611 TO GET JASMINE TO TELL HIM WHERE THE HOSTAGES WERE 247 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,030 WAS TO MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM. 248 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,867 AND THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT WAS TO BE HIMSELF. 249 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,037 [singing unintelligibly] 250 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:33,003 ♪ ♪ 251 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:34,879 [click] 252 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:40,218 ♪ THE HOSTAGES ARE UNDER THE STADIUM ♪ 253 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,803 Ooh! 254 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,013 YEAH. [all murmur] 255 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,848 [grunts] 256 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,642 CHECK, PLEASE. 257 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,601 THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD PLOT. 258 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,061 SHH. 259 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,355 - NO, I'M SERIOUS. THE WAY-- - YOU SOUND SARCASTIC. 260 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,692 I KNOW YOU MEAN IT BUT IT COMES OFF SARCASTIC. 261 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,571 YOU HAVE TO LET US GO, GOLDENFACE. 262 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,947 WE HAVE FAMILIES. 263 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,658 HA, THIS IS GONNA SHOW THEM... 264 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,952 THAT I MEAN BUSINESS. 265 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,081 SEE YA. 266 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,758 FAR AND AWAY THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHOT OF THE MOVIE, 267 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:23,636 BUT IT WAS "INTREGRAL" TO THE STORY. 268 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,472 HA! 269 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,849 IT'S SCARN! 270 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,768 SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, SCARN. 271 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,770 THE JOKE'S ON YOU, GOLDENFACE. 272 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,314 THAT MAN WAS A WANTED ANIMAL RAPIST. 273 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,483 WE'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE BUILDING, GOLDENFACE. 274 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,193 - WHERE IS THE BOMB? - HMM? 275 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,528 WE'VE SEARCHED THE WHOLE BUILDING, GOLDENFACE. 276 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,946 - WHERE IS THE BOMB? - HMM? 277 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,907 WE'VE SEARCHED THE--OKAY. 278 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,493 HE SAID, "WHERE IS THE BOMB?" 279 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,037 IN THE PUCK. 280 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,705 BUT WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? 281 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,457 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. 282 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,502 UNLESS YOU FORGIVE ME FOR MURDERING YOUR WIFE. 283 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,463 [soft emotional music] 284 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:05,053 ♪ ♪ 285 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,971 - HEY, GOLDENFACE. - YEAH? 286 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,683 GO PUCK YOURSELF. 287 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,687 NO! [gunshot] 288 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,689 THAT WAS NOT SCRIPTED. 289 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,023 [gun cocks] 290 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,484 [gasps] [gunshot] 291 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,611 [soft emotional music] 292 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,446 [weakly] MORE TYLENOL. 293 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,656 YOU'VE ALREADY HAD FOUR. 294 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,158 OH, GOD! 295 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,118 SO GOOD. 296 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,744 YOU'RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 297 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,831 IT'LL TAKE A LOT MORE THAN A BULLET TO THE BRAIN, LUNGS, 298 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,126 HEART, BACK, AND BALLS TO KILL MICHAEL SCARN. 299 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,503 LET'S JUST MAKE SURE THAT EVERYTHING'S... 300 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,131 WORKING PROPERLY. 301 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:44,759 [heart monitor beeping slowly] 302 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,471 [beeping quickens] 303 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:55,145 {\an8}YOU JUST SAID THE BOMB IS IN THE PUCK? 304 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,438 both: YES. 305 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,398 IS THAT WHERE YOU HID THE BOMB, GOLDENFACE? 306 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,695 BUT WHY WOULD YOU BLOW UP THE STADIUM? 307 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,530 YOU OWN THE STADIUM. 308 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,908 FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY. I KNEW IT ALL ALONG. 309 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,869 YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS. 310 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,580 WHO DO YOU THINK THE PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE, 311 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,292 THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 312 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,918 OR THIS MAN? 313 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,548 - NO. NO. - NO! 314 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,425 NO. 315 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,135 [dramatic music] 316 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:28,678 IT WASN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL! 317 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,638 [guns cocking] 318 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,557 [chuckles evilly] 319 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,560 [dramatic music] 320 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,397 ♪ ♪ 321 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:44,486 [gunfire] 322 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,906 NOW'S YOUR CHANCE. GO TALK TO GOLDENFACE. 323 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,409 - SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO. - OKAY. 324 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:56,164 HEY, GOLDENFACE. CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 325 00:15:56,206 --> 00:16:00,251 I MEAN, SINCE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE HERE ANYWAY. 326 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,129 - WHY IS YOUR FACE GOLD? - WHY DO YOU CARE? 327 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,964 I'M JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. 328 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,258 I WORKED IN A GOLD FACTORY. 329 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,262 WE HAD A BOSS WHO ONLY CARED ABOUT MONEY. 330 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,641 HE WOULDN'T GIVE US LUNCH BREAKS SO WE HAD TO... 331 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:15,934 EAT THE GOLD. 332 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,603 AND THEN ONE DAY, 333 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,024 I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND... 334 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,276 WELL, I GUESS YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. 335 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,947 - OH... - GOLDENFACE, THAT IS SO SAD. 336 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,281 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT 337 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,325 IF I COULD BLOW UP ALL THE ALL-STAR GAMES, 338 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,661 ALL THE TROPHIES WOULD EXPLODE ALL OVER THE PLACE 339 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:39,332 AND THEN EVERYONE WOULD BE GOLD JUST LIKE ME. 340 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,627 - [kisses] - PLEASE LET US GO, GOLDENFACE! 341 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,921 SO SAD. 342 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,760 [solemn jazz music] 343 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,178 ♪ ♪ 344 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,098 WHERE HAD I GONE WRONG? 345 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,642 ALL I WANTED WAS TO START A FAMILY 346 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,310 WITH MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. 347 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:03,231 BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, THINGS GOT MESSED UP. 348 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:04,941 IT WASN'T EASY FOR SCARN TO ADMIT 349 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,068 THAT HE'D LOST HIS SELF-CONFIDENCE. 350 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,112 AND HE HADN'T, OF COURSE. 351 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,489 HE JUST WASN'T USING IT RIGHT NOW. 352 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,907 all: MIKE! 353 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,617 BEER ME, BILLY. 354 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,494 YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD. WHAT'S GOT YOU DOWN? 355 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,164 I GOT PROBLEMS, BILLY, BIG PROBLEMS. 356 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,958 YOU GOT PROBLEMS? MY TV DON'T WORK. 357 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,587 I PAY 30 BUCKS A MONTH FOR THE DAMN SATELLITE "WHATSAHOOZIT." 358 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,172 CAN'T EVEN GET THE DAMN GAME. 359 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,883 NOW, YOU TELL ME, WHAT'S WORSE THAN THAT? 360 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,801 [chuckles] DON'T EVER CHANGE, BILLY. 361 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,178 [chuckles] 362 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,888 GOLDENFACE IS GOING TO 363 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,599 BLOW UP THE NHL ALL-STAR GAME TOMORROW. 364 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,851 I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT PROBLEMS. 365 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,228 I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP. 366 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,855 THAT TABLE OF BACHELORETTES OVER THERE 367 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,607 BOUGHT YOU THIS DRINK. 368 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,362 - all: HEY. - HELLO. 369 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,823 WHO ORDERED THE MAN BURGER WELL DONE? 370 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:57,702 HEY, HOT STUFF. ONE LAST FLING? 371 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,746 COME AND RIDE THE CHOO-CHOO. 372 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,540 THE SEX CHOO-CHOO. 373 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:07,170 EVER BANGED AN ENTIRE BACHELORETTE PARTY, BABY? 374 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,922 WHY ARE YOU SINGLING MY LINE OUT, 375 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,091 LIKE, A MILLION YEARS LATER? 376 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:15,679 THE WHOLE MOVIE WAS RIDICULOUS AS I REMEMBER IT. 377 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,098 - CAN I SEE IT? - NO. 378 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,391 IS YOUR EX IN IT? 379 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,267 THE ONE WHO CAME OUT AFTER YOU DATED? 380 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,853 I--I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 381 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,106 LET'S GO. COME ON. 382 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:32,362 [sighs] NOT TODAY. 383 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:35,115 I'M TOO DEPRESSED TO SAVE THE BIG GAME, BILLY. 384 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:38,451 I'M GONNA CHEER YOU UP THE ONLY WAYS I KNOW HOWS. 385 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:41,162 HEY, KID... 386 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:42,914 HIT G-9 ON THE JUKEBOX. 387 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,751 NO, BILLY, I HAVEN'T DONE THAT DANCE SINCE MY WIFE DIED. 388 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,254 THERE'S A WHOLE CROWD OF PEOPLE OUT THERE 389 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,923 WHO NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THE SCARN. 390 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,509 THE SCARN? 391 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,594 SOUNDS GAY. 392 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,014 IT IS GAY. 393 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,223 AND STRAIGHT. 394 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,808 AND BLACK AND WHITE. 395 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,518 AND YOUNG AND OLD. 396 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,228 AND COOL. CHECK IT. 397 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,189 [funky music] 398 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:12,944 ♪ ♪ 399 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:16,114 ♪ WELL, MY NAME'S MICHAEL SCARN AND I'M HERE TO SAY ♪ 400 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,658 ♪ I'M ABOUT TO DO THE SCARN IN A MAJOR WAY ♪ 401 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:22,495 ♪ ♪ 402 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,789 ♪ YOU JUMP TO THE RIGHT, AND YOU SHAKE A HAND ♪ 403 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,916 ♪ THEN YOU JUMP TO THE LEFT, AND YOU SHAKE THAT HAND ♪ 404 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,210 ♪ YOU MEET NEW FRIENDS, YOU TIE SOME YARN ♪ 405 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,421 ♪ AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO THE SCARN ♪ 406 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:33,423 all: * YOU JUMP TO THE RIGHT, AND YOU SHAKE A HAND ♪ 407 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:35,633 ♪ THEN YOU JUMP TO THE LEFT, AND YOU SHAKE THAT HAND ♪ 408 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,719 ♪ MEET NEW FRIENDS, TIE THAT YARN ♪ 409 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:39,971 ♪ THAT'S HOW YOU DO THE SCARN ♪ 410 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,348 ♪ YOU JUMP TO THE RIGHT AND YOU SHAKE THAT HAND ♪ 411 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,016 - [snickers] - SHH. STOP. 412 00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,476 I'M SORRY. 413 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,603 * MEET NEW FRIENDS, TIE THAT YARN ♪ 414 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,813 - ♪ THAT'S HOW YOU DO THE SCARN * - BOOM! 415 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:52,233 IF DOING THE SCARN IS GAY, 416 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,736 THEN I'M THE BIGGEST QUEER ON EARTH! 417 00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,988 - [laughs, snorts] - YOU GUYS, I THINK I HAVE... 418 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,157 - SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY. - MY SELF-CONFIDENCE BACK. 419 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,909 [all cheering, video pauses] 420 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,535 - HEY, HEY. - MICHAEL! 421 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:06,164 MICHAEL, I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. 422 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,665 I THINK I WAS JUST RELIEVED 423 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,167 TO SEE THAT MICHAEL SCARN GOT HIS CONFIDENCE BACK. 424 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,335 YEAH, MICHAEL, THE MOVIE'S AMAZING. 425 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,170 IT'S, LIKE, ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES 426 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,588 I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. 427 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,131 YOU SHOULD ENTER IT IN FESTIVALS. 428 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,384 - OR CARNIVALS. - YEAH. 429 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,511 WELL, THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD REACTION. 430 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:23,098 - THAT'S PRETTY COOL, RIGHT? - MM, MM-HMM. 431 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,933 AND THAT DANCE IS PRETTY COOL. 432 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,184 IT COULD BE THE NEXT MACARENA. 433 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,394 - RIGHT? - MM. 434 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,854 DID YOU LIKE IT? DID YOU LIKE THAT? 435 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,398 WHICH PART? 436 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,026 OKAY. 437 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,778 - ALL RIGHT. - OH, COME ON. 438 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,363 NO. all: MICHAEL. 439 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,282 - NO, COME ON! - WE HAVE TO SEE THE END. 440 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,743 NO, IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 441 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,162 SOME PEOPLE ARE REALLY POPPING ON-SCREEN. 442 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,555 [sighs] 443 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,891 I KNOW WHEN HOLLY LOVES SOMETHING. I CAN SEE IT. 444 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,061 HER FACE GETS RED, SHE TALKS WITH A WEIRD LITTLE ACCENT, 445 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,563 AND SHE SAYS "I RUV IT." 446 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,398 IT'S JUST THOSE SUBTLE LITTLE THINGS 447 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,525 THAT ONLY A BOYFRIEND CAN TELL. 448 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:17,402 - HEY. - HEY. 449 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:20,238 - GOOD MOVIE. - MM, GOOD? 450 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,407 EVERYBODY OUT THERE SAYS IT'S GREAT. 451 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,908 - I LOVED IT. - DID YOU? 452 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,745 - WHAT DID YOU LOVE ABOUT IT? - UM... 453 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,290 I LOVED THAT YOU GOT TO WORK TOGETHER WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS. 454 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,666 - MM-HMM. - ISN'T THAT SO GREAT 455 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:32,959 WHEN YOU CAN ALL WORK TOGETHER LIKE THAT? 456 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:36,129 NO, NO. HOLLY, THIS ISN'T OCEAN'S ELEVEN, 457 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,714 WHERE YOU GET TOGETHER WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS, 458 00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:39,049 AND YOU JUST HAVE FUN, AND YOU DON'T CARE 459 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,425 ABOUT HOW IT TURNS OUT. 460 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,218 WHAT'D YOU REALLY THINK, HONESTLY? 461 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,720 UM... 462 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:46,514 I KNEW IT. 463 00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,224 IT'S BECAUSE OF MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS. 464 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:49,642 I'M SORRY. 465 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,103 - UM... - OKAY, I'LL CGI THEM OUT. 466 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,440 - IT'LL BE EXPENSIVE BUT-- - NO, NO. THEY WERE GOOD. 467 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:56,858 THEY WERE REALLY GOOD. 468 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,694 IS IT--IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF 469 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:00,945 WHERE THIS IS GONNA TAKE ME? 470 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:05,450 BECAUSE, SEE, I NEED YOU TO KEEP ME GROUNDED. 471 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,077 I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT. 472 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,498 THIS IS 11 YEARS, OKAY? 473 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,417 THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM FOR 11 YEARS... 474 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:16,002 AND IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S GREAT, 475 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:18,254 THEN YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN MY DREAM. 476 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,756 [stammers] IT'S YOUR DREAM? 477 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:21,508 YOU NEVER EVEN MENTIONED IT BEFORE. 478 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,802 WE TALK ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS, HOLLY. 479 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,304 YOU KNOW, I WAS EVENTUALLY GOING TO GET AROUND 480 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:28,973 TO MY DREAM, OBVIOUSLY. 481 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,810 11 YEARS THAT I COULD'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE SCARN NEBULUS. 482 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,270 WELL, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A MOVIE AT ALL? 483 00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,147 BECAUSE IF I DON'T HAVE THIS, WHAT DO I HAVE? 484 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:37,982 - I HAVE NOTHING. - REALLY? 485 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:40,819 YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE? 486 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,072 I HAVE MY BOOK ON BUSINESS, SOMEHOW I MANAGE. 487 00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:46,324 I'VE BEEN STUCK ON A WORD FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS. 488 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,451 I HAVE MY HBO COMEDY SPECIAL, 489 00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,954 HERE I GO AGAIN, DOT, DOT, DOT. 490 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,915 I HAVE MY LINE OF MENS LINGERIE, VICTOR'S SECRET. 491 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:56,835 BECAUSE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO BUY LINGERIE. 492 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,670 AM I RIGHT? YES, I'M RIGHT. 493 00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:00,630 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT, 494 00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:04,134 WHEN I REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, NONE OF THOSE THINGS 495 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:07,220 ARE AS REAL TO ME AS MY MOVIE. 496 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,722 I'M REAL. 497 00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:11,433 YEAH, YOU'RE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS. 498 00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:12,809 AND NOW I'M GONNA GO WATCH THE MOVIE 499 00:23:12,851 --> 00:23:14,477 WITH PEOPLE WHO THINK IT'S GREAT. 500 00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,230 AND I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A PAIN IN THE ASS. 501 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,107 I'M ANGRY, AND I LOVE YOU. 502 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,486 I LOVE YOU TOO. 503 00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:26,781 I'M A HUGE WOODY ALLEN FAN... 504 00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,408 ALTHOUGH I'VE ONLY SEEN ANTZ. 505 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:31,745 BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. WHAT I RESPECT ABOUT THAT MAN 506 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:33,621 IS THAT WHEN HE WAS GOING THROUGH ALL OF THAT STUFF 507 00:23:33,663 --> 00:23:35,331 THAT CAME OUT IN THE PRESS... 508 00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:38,376 ABOUT HOW ANTZ WAS JUST A RIP-OFF OF A BUG'S LIFE, 509 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,880 HE STAYED TRUE TO HIS FILMS... 510 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,506 OR AT LEAST THE FILM THAT I SAW, 511 00:23:43,548 --> 00:23:45,258 WHICH, AGAIN, WAS ANTZ. 512 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:46,968 THING IS... 513 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,678 I THOUGHT BUG'S LIFE WAS BETTER, 514 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,473 MUCH BETTER THAN ANTZ. 515 00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:54,601 POINT IS, DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR CRITICS. 516 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,187 LISTEN TO YOUR FANS. 517 00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:00,774 WHO LIKES THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT? 518 00:24:00,815 --> 00:24:02,650 [cheers and applause] 519 00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:04,569 OKAY, WELL, THEN WHO WANTS TO WATCH THE REST? 520 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,696 [cheers and applause] 521 00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,323 [dramatic music] 522 00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:10,950 MICHAEL, YOU HAVE TO GET TO THAT PUCK BEFORE HALFTIME, 523 00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:13,119 OR THE WHOLE STADIUM WILL EXPLODE. 524 00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,121 I KNOW. IT'S A GOOD THING MY TRAINER AND MENTOR 525 00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:17,582 - IS HERE TO CHEER ME ON. - CHEROKEE JACK? 526 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:21,252 MICHAEL, HE DIED. 527 00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:24,255 [sad music] 528 00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:28,051 ♪ ♪ 529 00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:30,553 THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, CHEROKEE JACK. 530 00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:43,733 WE FILMED THIS DURING AN ACTUAL 531 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,068 SCRANTON HIGH SCHOOL HOCKEY GAME. 532 00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:46,986 THEY WERE TRYING TO QUALIFY FOR STATES. 533 00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,947 SHH. IT'S FINE. IT'S GREAT. 534 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,157 NO, NO, ACTUALLY IT WAS REALLY SCREWED UP, 535 00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:54,953 BECAUSE THEY-- THEY WERE TRYING TO QUALIFY. 536 00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:58,164 THEY WERE DISQUALIFIED. THEY HAD TO FORFEIT THE GAME. 537 00:24:58,206 --> 00:24:59,416 UNDEFEATED SEASON-- 538 00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,084 THAT'S WHY THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE THERE. 539 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:16,808 - HEY. - HEY, I'M SORRY. 540 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:20,145 - IT IS GOOD. - NO, NO. IT'S NOT. 541 00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:22,105 IT'S NOT. 542 00:25:22,147 --> 00:25:23,940 BUT THEY REALLY SEEM TO BE ENJOYING IT. 543 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:27,402 - [snorts] - COME ON. 544 00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:29,988 [grunts] 545 00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,448 AGH! 546 00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:34,451 [mystical music] 547 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:35,994 ♪ ♪ 548 00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:37,245 CHEROKEE JACK. 549 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:39,956 I WANT YOU TO TAKE ALL YOUR FRUSTRATIONS-- 550 00:25:39,998 --> 00:25:43,126 WITH WOMEN, THE SYSTEM, WITH EVERYTHING-- 551 00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:44,544 TAKE IT OUT ON THE PUCK, 552 00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:46,588 ALL ON THE PUCK. 553 00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:48,840 [laughs] 554 00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:53,720 [dramatic music] 555 00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:59,517 ♪ ♪ 556 00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:01,436 [laughing] 557 00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:02,854 - YAH! - AAH! 558 00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:04,105 - OH! - YAY! 559 00:26:04,147 --> 00:26:06,900 - YAY, THEY'RE SAVED! - WHOO! 560 00:26:06,941 --> 00:26:09,486 - THEY'RE SAVED! - NICE. 561 00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:11,946 ♪ ♪ 562 00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:12,822 YES! 563 00:26:12,864 --> 00:26:17,911 ♪ ♪ 564 00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:20,747 HEY, WE GOT SPORTS GAMES AGAIN. 565 00:26:20,789 --> 00:26:23,041 [all cheering] 566 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:27,337 [laughing] 567 00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:28,672 OH, SH-- 568 00:26:28,713 --> 00:26:30,507 [explosion] 569 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:34,094 [cheers and applause] 570 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:42,018 SOME BREAKFAST FOR ME, SOME BREAKFAST FOR YOU. 571 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,356 - [laughter] - AW. 572 00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:49,734 OH, YEAH, I GUESS I DID LET HIM BE A ROBOT. 573 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:51,569 [phone rings] I'LL GET IT. 574 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:53,655 MAN, I LOVE BEING RETIRED. 575 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,198 SCARN HERE. 576 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,242 - MICHAEL, IT'S THE PRESIDENT. - HELLO, SIR. 577 00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:58,660 I NEED YOU FOR ANOTHER MISSION. 578 00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:01,579 UH... 579 00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:02,872 YEAH, I'M IN. 580 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:07,002 [cheers and applause] 581 00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:12,882 I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS BEEP. 582 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:15,844 HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. ISN'T THE PRESIDENT EVIL? 583 00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,470 OH, YEAH. [laughs] 584 00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:19,097 YES, HE IS. 585 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,932 NO, NO, HE'S DOING IT TO CATCH THE PRESIDENT. 586 00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:23,476 NO, NO, DWIGHT, HE'S JUST BEING STUPID. 587 00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:24,936 [laughter] 588 00:27:24,978 --> 00:27:29,024 WELL, MICHAEL SCARN WAS BACK IN THE GAME. 589 00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:30,442 AND I BET YOU'RE WONDERING 590 00:27:30,483 --> 00:27:34,863 WHY DO I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT MICHAEL SCARN? 591 00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:39,284 WELL, BECAUSE I AM MICHAEL SCARN. 592 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,786 all: OH! 593 00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,247 [laughter] 594 00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:47,459 WHY IS THE MOVIE DEDICATED TO CREED? 595 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:50,587 WELL, I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE DEAD BY THE TIME THIS CAME OUT! 596 00:27:50,628 --> 00:27:54,132 [laughter] 597 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,261 {\an8}[groovy music] 598 00:27:58,303 --> 00:28:01,556 {\an8}AW, YEAH! 599 00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:03,475 {\an8}♪ THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT ♪ 600 00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:05,477 {\an8}♪ MAKES ALL THE GIRLIES FEEL ALL RIGHT ♪ 601 00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:08,021 {\an8}♪ FROM MADONNA TO MADELEINE ALBRIGHT ♪ 602 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:09,564 {\an8}♪ THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT ♪ 603 00:28:09,606 --> 00:28:12,275 {\an8}♪ IT'S A THREAT, A LEVEL, A LEVEL, LEVEL THREAT ♪ 604 00:28:12,317 --> 00:28:14,110 {\an8}♪ HE'S THE GREATEST HOCKEY STAR I EVER SEEN YET ♪ 605 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,446 {\an8}♪ THREAT LEVEL WHAT? MIDNIGHT ♪ 606 00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:18,740 {\an8}♪ THREAT LEVEL WHO? MICHAEL SCARN ♪ 607 00:28:18,782 --> 00:28:20,867 {\an8}♪ THREAT LEVEL WHY? APARTHEID ♪ 608 00:28:20,909 --> 00:28:22,410 {\an8}♪ GOTTA FIGHT IT, FREE MANDELA ♪ 609 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,204 {\an8}♪ PEACE, I'M OUT ♪ 610 00:28:33,797 --> 00:28:35,799 HEY. 611 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,677 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 612 00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,804 THE MOVIE'S OVER. 613 00:28:40,845 --> 00:28:43,139 IT'S THREAT LEVEL NOON AGAIN. 614 00:28:43,181 --> 00:28:47,477 GO HOME. HAVE A LIFE. FALL IN LOVE. 615 00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,355 GO. 616 00:28:50,397 --> 00:28:53,900 SAMUEL, THEY THINK THE MOVIE'S STILL GOING. 617 00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:57,112 - GO HOME! - GO HOME. 618 00:28:57,153 --> 00:28:58,279 GET A LIFE. 619 00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:00,657 GET A LIFE AND GO HOME ALREADY, OKAY? 620 00:29:00,699 --> 00:29:02,492 LOSERS. 621 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,828 LOOK AT THAT GUY. HE JUST CAME FOR THE POPCORN. 622 00:29:04,869 --> 00:29:06,079 [chuckles] 623 00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:07,706 COULD THOSE FLOORS BE ANY STICKIER? 624 00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,374 [laughs] 625 00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:11,334 LOOK AT HER. WHAT'S HER PROBLEM? 626 00:29:11,376 --> 00:29:14,838 - JUST GO. IT'S OVER. - GO HOME ALREADY. [chuckles] 627 00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:16,423 THE LIGHTS ARE COMING UP FOR THE NEXT MOVIE. 628 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:18,925 - YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE. - YOU BETTER GO. 629 00:29:18,967 --> 00:29:20,760 IT'S TIME TO-- 'CAUSE THE MOVIE'S OVER. 630 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:25,682 - WE'RE NOT STAYING. - SO WE--WE GOTTA GO TOO. 631 00:29:25,724 --> 00:29:27,100 GO. 632 00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:29,060 GO ON WITH YOU! 633 00:29:34,107 --> 00:29:35,400 GO HOME! 634 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:41,281 {\an8}[cheerful music] 635 00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:48,455 {\an8}♪ ♪ 44738

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.