All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S07E09.WUPHF.com.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Uh-oh.
Okay, okay, nobody panic.

Listen up, listen up.

Everyone, follow me
to the shelter.

We've got enough food
for 14 days.

After that, we have
a difficult conversation.

My bad.

Space heater and fan
were both on high,

plugged into
the same outlet, so...

Uh, it's saying the server
went down?

Does anybody know
that password?

'Cause otherwise,
we can't do any work.

Uh... try "password."

Nope.

Try zero, zero, zero,
zero, zero, zero.

No.

Okay, now try zero, zero,
zero, zero, zero, one.

Okay, I'm not doing
every number.

Wait, um, does anyone
remember when it was set up?

Uh... it was, like,
eight years ago?

"Lord of the Rings" stuff?

I don't know, I'm just trying
to think of things

that were happening
at the time.

Um, everyone was getting
their driver's license.

Why don't we just call
the IT guy who set it up?

What's the name of the guy
in the glasses, again?

Okay, moving backwards,
our IT guys have been...

Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair,

Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge,

and Fatso.

I think Lozenge was the one
who installed it.

I got it.
Try, um--

[coughs]

You know what? It made me
laugh when I heard it,

- but Pam got really offended.
- Oh, big boobs.

- Drama queen?
- Nosy?

- You're typing "big boobs"?
- I'm trying everything.

Try "big boobz" with a Z.

That's--

[ding]
The password. We're in.

- All right.
- Wow.

- Yes.
- The important thing is...

this kept us secure, people.

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

Just get another extension.

At some point, somebody is
going to have to step up

and do my taxes,
and it is not going to be me.

Hey, Michael.
Can I talk to you for a sec?

Absolutely.

Get out. Do your job.

- What--
- Yes.

It's about WUPHF.
Is that cool?

Yeah, yeah,
as long as you're here

to tell me I'm a billionaire.

On your way, man,
on your way.

- I'm a millionaire.
- On your way.

Yeah.

I think the last time we
spoke about WUPHF,

it must've just been
a prototype.

Well, we launched the beta
three months ago.

The response
has been unbelievable.

It's gonna be huge.

Morning.

Looks like
your little documentary

finally found its star.

- Hey, I'm WUPHF.
- I'm Facebook.

What's up, Facebook?

I sent you
a Facebook message yesterday,

I still haven't heard
anything back.

You should've sent me
a WUPHF.

- A what?
- When you send a WUPHF,

it goes to your home phone,
cell phone,

email, Facebook, Twitter,
and home screen,

all at the same time.

[phone rings, device chimes,
dog barks]

[robotic voice] WUPHF.

- both: WUPHF!
- Dot-com!

- Thanks, Erin.
- Sure.

- Hey, Pam.
- Mm-hmm?

I don't want to be
a lousy snitch.

Okay.

Ryan has been using the color
printer for his business a lot,

- and as office administrator--
- Oh, it's okay.

- But it's not for--
- Let it go.

Yes, I invested in WUPHF.

It's actually
a really great idea,

and I can't believe
it didn't exist before.

And I know Ryan's kind of
a sketchy guy,

but, hey, I married Jim.

I've done my part
for the nice guy.

Now I want a bedroom set--

one that matches.

I think an investors'
ski trip, frankly,

is the best idea.

It will be
a bonding experience.

I love it.

I was looking at a trail map,

and I was thinking that we
should start on a bunny hill,

because I've never
actually been skiing,

and then work our way up
to Death Drop.

Great, so we got our first
offer to buy the company.

[slaps desk]
You're kidding.

We could sell,
but why think so small?

We can just get
a couple more people involved,

- really do this thing our way.
- You and me, baby.

New investors
are key, though.

That's actually
why I came in today.

Don't you work here
full-time?

[chuckles] Today I was
thinking I would sit down

with a few of the people
who haven't invested yet.

- Mm-hmm.
- Or we could do that together,

if that sounds fun to you.

That does sound fun to me.

Awesome.

Oh, this is good hay. Yeah.

This is the good stuff--
mattress quality.

Every fall, growing up,

my uncle Eldred used to build
us a maze out of hay bales

for us kids to play in.

We called it Hay Place.

Eldred called it Hay World.

Eventually lawyers
were brought in.

But that's all behind us.

Hay Place lives on.

Watch it, watch it.

I'm looking
for Dwight Schrute.

- You must be Sheri, right?
- Mm-hmm.

Wow. Good. Ample.

You'll be playing the role
of buxom Mother Harvest.

You represent the facundity
of the season,

and you charge $3 a photo.

- [clears throat]
- Holy moly.

Do you like dogs?

I have, like, eight dogs.

Hay Place romances never last.

All right, thank you.
I will--

I will send the contracts over
right away.

All right.

Whoo!

I am on the first hot sale
streak of my life.

I think it all comes
from feeding Cece,

because no matter
how much she resists,

I sell her those carrots.

Let's be honest--

if I can make mushed carrots
seem better than a boob...

I can pretty much
sell anything.

[chuckles]

Commission comes out to...

dunh-duh-na-dah!

Zero.

Okay, well,
it can't be zero, Kev.

I entered the sale,
and I hit enter,

and I said, "dunh-duh-na-dah!"

I'm pretty sure
I timesed it right.

You met your commission cap
last week.

So, from here until the end
of the fiscal year,

- your commission will be zero.
- What are you talking about?

- We--we have a commission cap?
- It's a new corporate policy.

Oh, I see what I did.
[adding machine whirs]

Your commission is $2,000,

but if I factor in
the commission cap,

then...

dunh-duh-nah-dah!

[humming suspenseful tune]

[Angela sighs]

[adding machine whirs]

- Still zero.
- Yeah.

And...

- Let me try again.
- No, no.

Is this job really about
the money for you, Jim?

I mean, isn't this
where you fell in love?

A commission cap takes away
my incentive to sell.

So you realize I now have
no reason to work, right?

When you're dealing
with a large organization,

sometimes you have to put up
with policies you don't like.

I wish my gym didn't allow full
nudity in the locker room.

Okay, some of these old guys
walking around naked--

it feels almost
passive-aggressive.

But I deal with it
'cause it's policy.

- See what I mean?
- Nope.

Nudity makes me uncomfortable.

- Okay.
- My gym allows it.

I wish they didn't, but it's
policy, so I respect it,

and I just--keep a low--
you know, I look away.

Think about your commission cap

as a naked old man
in a gym locker room.

Excuse me, everyone.
Sex!

Now that I have
your attention...

You don't have our attention.

Money!

I'm listening.

- You had me at "sex."
- Pervert.

You have all of our attention
just by screaming anything.

That's good to know.

[screams]

What do you want
to say, Michael?

WUPHF!

All right,
I've warmed them up for you.

You have the floor, Ryan.

- How's everybody doing?
- Whoo!

Good!

Now, a lot of you
have already staked out

your corner
of the WUPHF empire.

Raise your hand
if I'm describing you.

Why would I invest
with Ryan?

It's a really good idea.

Aggregators are one
of the few things

that produce revenue online.

Also, the Internet
has a history

of rewarding
annoying white boys.

All the ingredients are there.

Yes, I have a dream.

And it's not some MLK dream
for equality.

I want to own
a decommissioned lighthouse.

And I want to live at the top.

And nobody knows I live there.

And there's a button
that I can press

and launch
that lighthouse into space.

For my current investors,
things are going great.

We already have a buyer.

- Really? Who?
- Washington University.

I don't even want
to think about selling

until our numbers get

- into the billions.
- At least.

So I've decided to open up
a second round of investment

to friends and family.

Oh, God, hold on
to your wallets, ladies.

Anybody interested in joining
the WUPHF empire?

[softly] WUPHF.

Anybody?

Bob's finances are...

complicated.

He only invests with cash

and only in nightclubs.

Andy?

Hmm?

You know what, Andy?

Can I talk to you in my office
for a sec?

- What's this--
- It's work. It's about work.

It's work-related?

Yeah, I'd like to talk to you
about work in my office.

- Okay.
- [sighs]

Andy...

I have brought you in here
under false pretenses.

Ooh, I knew it.

This is about WUPHF, isn't it?

Let me be clear.

- As a rule...
- Mm-hmm?

The Nard Dog does not invest
in friends' companies.

What if I told you
that you have to?

Then you would be abusing
your power as my boss.

Well, maybe I am.

So sue me.

No, don't sue me.

That's not...

Think of it this way.

Wouldn't you love to have

more money than your parents
ever had?

You could buy
the Bernard Estate

and just burn it to the ground

while your entire family watched.

That is horrible.
I love my family.

Okay, well,
I misread that situation,

but how about then...

you are able to write a check

to each member of your family
for $5 million?

And they said you
wouldn't amount to anything.

I have
a very supportive family,

in their own way.

Okay, we're trending
incredibly strong

with unique views.

We're doubling our subscribers
every month.

And don't forget the offer
from Washington University.

That's a safety school, Michael.

Okay, well, maybe the next
offer will be from Cornell.

And they laughed you
off of campus, right?

- So who's laughing now?
- [stammers]

You want to laugh at Cornell?

Or do you want them
laughing at you?

[sighs] Fi--
You know what?

- I'm in.
- [chuckles]

[grunts]

Hello!

Welcome to Hay Place:
a Place for Hay.

Don't forget to make a broom.

Oh, the petting zoo
closes at 2:00,

and the goat roast
is at 3:00.

Come on in, enjoy!

- Hey.
- Very funny.

What pile
did you get that from?

'Cause, you know, most hay is
basically horse toilet paper.

Actually,
I'm kind of in the mood

for a roll in the hay.

Roll in the hay, $5, please.

No, I meant...

- Oh, our contract.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes, why don't we meet
at the usual spot?

Uh...

I've got a half an hour
during lunch

in between
the historical reenactment

of the Dunmore farm slaughters
and the onion boil.

- Perfect.
- So--

Uh, excuse me,
get off of there.

Those are show bales,
not play bales.

It's a winner.

Did you ever think of WUPHF

as an emergency notification system,

like, for college campuses
with shooters or gas leaks?

No, no. Oscar, it's not--it's
not a digital rape whistle.

- WUPHF is about fun.
- That's right.

Fun, communication, connection.

What's your money situation?

Well, it's tight,
as with any start-up.

Sure, how long
can you sustain this

- without a cash infusion?
- We have nine solid days.

I love these questions.
Keep 'em coming.

I'm sorry, uh,
nine days until what?

Bankruptcy?

Wait, Ryan, so this could be
over by the weekend?

How long do you think
a week is?

No, not this weekend,
next weekend.

We were gonna go
on the investors' ski trip.

I bought poles.

Michael, you realize
you can just go skiing, right?

I don't feel like skiing
right now, Oscar.

Well, since I have
no incentive to sell,

I've cleaned my car,
organized my desk,

and taken a multivitamin.

So...

what now?

Pam.

[pen thuds]

[sighs]

Okay, now I've tried everything.

Did you prank Dwight?

- No.
- Well, you like that.

Yeah, it's not as fun
if I'm not blowing off work.

Right. Uh, why don't you go
to Hay Place?

Hay Place is for kids.

Oh, boy. Okay.

Um, I love you,
but I'm kind of busy,

so I need you to figure
this one out on your own.

[sighs]

[blows raspberry]

[chuckling]

Oscar said WUPHF only has
enough money for nine days.

Check this out.

- All that color.
- Look at that.

Triple your investment
by January.

Anyone can just throw numbers
up on a chart.

What are you doing
to make it happen?

Well, earlier today,
I was emailing

someone by the name
of John Legend.

- There you go.
- You have his email?

A lot of these guys
are just mac.com,

at their website whatever.

We get that guy WUPHF-ing,
it's all over.

I want my money back.

Do not talk like that, Stanley.

Ryan, just tell us your plan.

Okay, all right.
I know what you want to see.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

[smacking door]

Hey, kids, was that fun?

- all: Yeah!
- All right.

- I want to go on it again.
- Oh, I bet you do.

You know what?
When I was a little kid,

they couldn't get me
off the hayride.

But it's gonna cost you
three more bucks.

Wow!
This brings back memories.

[inhales deeply]

Hay stacking, hay throwing...

and at the end of it all,

one lucky boy would be crowned
Hay King.

I always wanted
to be Hay King.

The world shines on Mose.

Where have you been?
I've been waiting.

Uh, can we move this
to the end of the day?

No, I-I think
you should make time for it.

I found the needle
in the haystack!

Hey, congratulations.
Do you know what your prize is?

- I don't know.
- Nothing.

Life lesson?
Some tasks are not worth doing.

Dwight?

WUPHF T-shirts.

Who wants one?

Just imagine that you're
at Spring Break Daytona Beach.

- Here we go.
- Okay?

Everyone's like, "Hey, dude,
what's up with all the hotties

in the WUPHF shirts?"

Or, uh, "Hey, what's up
with that helicopter?"

"It's Ry from WUPHF!"

- "It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!"
- "Yo, Ry from WUPHF!"

- "He's up there."
- "What's he dropping?"

"Wow, what's falling
on us, man?"

WUPHF condoms!

50,000 condoms
out of the sky.

Look at that!
He threw 'em on the ground!

Look, this is
a marketing campaign.

You got nine days.
Let's say you do get the money.

What are you going
to do with it?

The first lesson
of Silicon Valley, actually,

is that you only think
about the user, the experience.

You actually don't think
about the money, ever.

That sounds weird.

No, it's not weird, Andy,
and you know what else?

We have an offer
from Washington University.

So monetize that.

Washington University?

both: Yes.

It is a university
in the city of Washington.

I think this
is a great idea, Ryan,

but it needs follow-through,

and I need you to tell me
what that follow-through is.

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.

I'll tell you all.

I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.

- Oh, my God.
- Shh, shh!

He's thinking.

[breathing heavily]

Okay.

My aunt and uncle have a house
in the Poconos.

I can borrow it...

just go up there,
shut myself away--

no TV, no WUPHF--

- just, like, play a video game.
- Sure.

Read a book,

just clear my head,

just think about things,
get my priorities straight.

I just need just, like,
three good days.

- What?
- What?

That's good.
That'll leave six days.

- Nice little vacation? Perfect.
- Yeah.

Are you guys meeting
about WUPHF?

You know that that
was my idea, right?

[gasps]

I said to Ryan,
"I try to call you,

"and you don't have your phone.

"I try to IM you,
and you're not online.

"I wish there was a way

"that I could do everything
all at once,

"and I could just be like this
little dog going,

'Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!
Ruff!'"

And that's how it happened, and
that's what I told my lawyer.

- Baby, baby, baby--
- I think I'm gonna see--

- No, no, no, no, no.
- I do, I do. This isn't right.

I help you with your things,
and you help me with my things.

- But I--it's not right.
- [whispering] I got this.

It's okay.
Don't worry about this.

Is it any particular branch
of Washington University?

The Washington University
Public Health Fund.

W.U.P.H.F.

Oh, God.

They only want it
for the initials.

The domain name.
Yeah, they do.

I move we sell.

- What?
- Yeah, sell.

- Sell.
- Get us out of this.

Have some faith in this idea.

If everybody wants to sell,
we sell, right?

I won't sell.

And you know what?

Ryan and I have
the majority of shares.

- Isn't that right?
- Yes. You alone do, actually.

I--yes.

We're not selling.

I will not sell.

[children laughing]

Awesome.

Do you mind
if we share this bale?

Sure.

There's no charge
to sit on the hay, is there?

- Probably.
- Oh.

I mean, wouldn't you think

the ten dollars
to build your own broom

would include the hay
and not just the instructions?

- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, I'm starting to think

this guy is just trying to make
money off the holiday.

Yeah, instead of Hay Place,
it should be Pay Place.

- [laughs]
- Don't laugh at me.

No, no, no, I wasn't--

I was just laughing
at your joke.

Oh.
[chuckles]

- Pay Place.
- Hmm.

Yeah, so we can celebrate
Thanksgiving-me-your-money day.

[laughs]

- That's humorous.
- Thank you.

Do you guys know
how to get out?

[kids shouting]

Hi, Michael.

Can't talk,
saving the planet.

Oh, we don't recycle.

We don't?

Well, why have I been
separating the trash

into whites and colors?

I'm sure no one
asked you to do that.

Eight years.

Listen, I know
you really like Ryan--

No, I won't even consider it.

Michael, I...

I hate to say this, but...

you know this special bond

that you've always felt
with Ryan,

where, like,
you're best friends

or you're his mentor
or something?

- I don't know.
- Right, yes, yeah.

Best friend/mentor.

Michael, I think that
that feeling only goes one way.

And I think
that Ryan knows that,

and he's taking advantage
of you.

I think you are wrong.

And there are a lot
of other people in this office

who have money at stake...

other people you care about.

You may be right.

I may be crazy.

Don't.

I'm just saying that I think
I agree with your point.

Yeah, but in a jokey way

where you're gonna
start singing.

I thought it might make me
feel better.

Okay.
Go ahead.

* But it just may be
a lunatic... ♪

No.

Ooh, nice, wasting time,
here we go.

Hey, back off.
It's solitaire.

Hey, kid...

- hear you're looking for work.
- Talk to me.

How far can you reach those
lovely long arms of yours?

Eh, put 'em down.

How long can you hold that
pretty little breath of yours?

[inhales deeply]

Good.

Hey, Jim?

Are you distracting
these people?

We're working.

Can you at least
try to look busy?

[exhales deeply]

The moment Darla put
the cupcake in her mouth,

her daddy pulled her aside

and said, "You're too fat.

No one's gonna like you
if you're too fat."

The next time
I saw David Geffen

was at the Buffalo Club.

"I love you, you gay bastard,"
I said.

"You gay bastard," I s--

"Gay ba--"

"Gay b--"

- Michael, how's it going, bro?
- Good, good, bro.

Hey, thanks so much
for having my back out there.

Always have your back.

So any ideas on how we can get
over this nine-day hump here?

I have nothing but ideas.

The thing is,
they all require money.

Nine days, though.
That's, like...

Look, I know I've tapped you
so hard.

Yes, you have tapped
this, hard.

[laughs]
Oh, you are funny, Michael.

You--people--people don't give
you enough credit.

Maybe I could take a second
mortgage on my condo.

Well, a lot of people
are doing that.

And there don't seem to be
any consequences.

And they say the rates
have never been lower.

So you would think that's
a good idea for me to do?

Think about this--

you and me on a private plane

- flown by our private pilot...
- Mm.

Eating our private meal
cooked by our private chef.

Yeah, well, we never even
have dinner now, so...

We totally should.

- Tonight?
- I got to work on this.

Oh, right.

- What am I saying?
- Okay.

- Rain check.
- Yeah.

Well, look at that.

That is great.

Did you do that
all by yourself?

I had help.

Mommy doesn't know
how to build a birdhouse.

- Jason.
- Oh, sweetie, who's Jason?

Mommy says not to talk
about Jason--

- Toby, start the clock.
- Oh.

- [indistinct chatter]
- And now, by show of applause,

we will crown
this year's Hay King.

All in favor of Purebred.

[applause]

Put your hands together
for Mixed-Bred.

[applause]

And let's hear it for Purebred.

[applause]
Mm.

We appear to have
a three-way tie.

I have no choice but to pick
the Hay King myself.

I pick...

me.

I am your Hay King!

All hail your Hay King!
[indistinct chatter]

Did I truck 300 bales of hay

to a parking lot to rectify
some childhood disappointment?

[chuckles]

Yes.

- Dwight, it's time.
- Um, sorry.

Women aren't allowed to address
the Hay King directly.

Go away.

It's okay.

I've been waiting
for you all day.

What are you talking about?

Right, the thing.

Okay, just get yourself ready
and cleaned up,

and I'll meet you there
when this winds down.

Be gone, woman.

[indistinct chatter]

More ale.

Good.

Why would I let
someone use me?

That doesn't make any sense.

What makes you think
someone's using you?

Ryan had an idea
for a business.

Ryan--
Uh, yeah, okay.

Sorry. So you found out
Ryan's using you,

and how does that
make you feel?

[breathes deeply]
Used...

- like a used car.
- Mm-hmm.

Like, if you took a person,
turned him into a car,

and then used the car

and then somebody
bought the car

and started racing
with the car,

started beating everybody else
on the track

and this car was, like, human--

If I come up with a movie idea
in this, who owns it?

That movie already exists.
You're talking about "Herbie."

I never saw it.

They can't sue me.

Did you really never see it?

I saw it on TV,
but they can't prove that.

That was good.
That was a really good movie.

It really resonated with me.

I don't know
how they got that car

to constantly pop
wheelies, but...

When Ryan came here, uh...

you really idealized him.

No, just the opposite--

I thought he was
the coolest kid I ever saw.

Well, all right, so now
that you know him better,

right, maybe you feel capable
of handling the situation.

Hmm. Well, maybe you should
handle your own situation

now that you know that Jason
is banging your wife.

All right?

Sounds good.
[door opens, closes]

So, if I were
to call Dunder Mifflin

and ask
for Miss Angela Martin...

would I get through to you?

You would.

And if I were to call your
house and ask for your wife,

would I get through to you?

My wife passed away
a few years ago.

How tragic.

Very sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

Help!

Hello?

Oh!
Help!

Consider it a WUPHF
in person.

You're doing the wrong thing.

You're gonna lose
Michael's investment,

you're gonna lose ours.

You got this crazy opportunity

to get our money back--
tell Mike to sell.

If you tell Michael to sell,
he'll sell.

- I'm betting on myself.
- It's a bad bet.

Hello.

Hey.
It's an ambush here.

Nobody here believes
in this company.

Will you tell them
they're wrong?

It's not that we don't
believe in the company.

We don't believe in you.

All those in favor
of selling, say aye.

- Aye.
- Aye.

- Aye.
- Aye.

I...

Do not agree to sell,
which is to say nay.

What is wrong with you?

What happened to you
in high school?

Michael, are you that blind?

I'm not blind!

I know exactly who he is.

He is selfish and lazy
and image-obsessed,

and he is a bad friend.

And he's also clever.

And he shoots incredibly high.

And he may just make it.

But you know what?
Even if he doesn't,

I would rather go broke
betting on my people

than get rich all by myself
on some island like a castaway.

And there is no middle ground.

You're gonna lose
all of our money.

Only if he fails.

And you know what?

Ryan, I believe in you,

just like I believe
in all of you.

You have nine days
to save everybody's money.

Oh...

uh, that's a lot of pressure.

I-I'm gonna need
some more time.

You can't have it.

Okay.

I won't let you down.

[door opens]

"Mother Earth"
by Dwight Kurt Schrute.

"The water runs,
the sun will glint.

"This is our environment.

"The Hay King steps
upon the ground.

"He wields
a giant man sword round.

"He penetrates
the Mother Earth,

"once, twice, again and again
and again and again

"for all he's worth,

"pounding
into her soft, warm dirt.

"Her lips quivering,
mounds shaking in ecstasy.

And sudden relief."

Thank you.

Okay.

Hay Day's over.
That's it.

Vacate the premises
in three minutes.

All right, everyone,
you heard the Hay King.

Let's go. Out.

Let's go.

All hail.

Make way for the Hay King.

[Dwight laughs]

Hey, slow--
Okay, hey, hey, hey.

- Stop, stop.
- Ah!

Oh, man.

Don't give up, man.

I am not gonna die in here.

Angela?

Angela!

The world sends people
your way.

Ryan came to me
through a temp agency.

Andy was transferred here.

No idea where Creed came from.

The point is,
you just have to play

with the cards
that you're dealt.

Jim, that guy is an ace.

Dwight is my king
up my sleeve.

Phyllis is my old maid.

Oscar is my queen.

That's easy.
Give me a hard one.

That's what Oscar said.

Toby is the instruction card
you throw away.

Pam's a solid seven.

And yeah, you know what?
Ryan is probably, like, a two.

But sometimes twos
can be wild.

So watch out.

And I am obviously the joker.

So...
[phone rings]

That's, uh--

[device chimes, dog barks]

[robotic voice]
WUPHF from Ryan Howard.

"Decided to sell company.

Thanks, bro.
Hell of a ride."

[sighing]
Thank God.

[phone rings]

Gabe Lewis.

Now, listen here, Gabe,
you're too fat.

No one's gonna like you
if you're too fat.

I made some changes
to my book.

- See if you like them.
- Well--

Now I love reading,
and I hate being interrupted.

Shut up and listen,
you gay bastard.

Chapter one.

I was born, not into luxury
nor poverty,

but into adversity, and
for that, I thank the Lord.

My father was a man.
That's all we can know.

After I learned to ride
a bike,

there was no stopping me.

I would ride up
Magnolia Street

and down Azalea Lane,
which would later become my--

- [door opens]
- All right, good night, Gabe.

Just wanted to say
thanks again,

'cause I really think
I made good use of my day.

Oh.

Sorry.

And fate has obliged me
with plenty of battles,

the first being a hard--