All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S07E08.Viewing.Party.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

They caught
the Scranton Strangler.

They trapped him
in his house.

...and then
photographing them,

is believed to be inside.

Police have now surrounded

the apartment complex.

Police have surrounded.

And we now see
what appears to be

- a swat van pulling up.
- SWAT--SWAT's arriving.

It is unknown if he is armed
with any--

They should do that thing
where they play

the really good music
to get him to come out.

Ugh, they shouldn't televise
any of this.

It just encourages copycats.

Just say copies.

Why do you have to drag cats
into this?

Cats are true originals.

Well, the good news is,
the Scranton Strangler

- isn't who I thought it was.
- How do you know?

Because who I thought it was
just walked in the office.

'Sup, weirdos?

Okay,
while this is interesting,

we should get back to work.

These standoffs
can last a long time.

What if it's another Waco?

It's pronounced "Wacko."

Some events
are so newsworthy,

so historic, that you have
to stop everything to watch.

Balloon boy,
Michael Jackson's funeral--

uh, things that,
if you didn't see them live,

you wouldn't really care

that you didn't see them
at all.

Coming to you
from the corner of Columb--

Columbia street
and Washington Ave.

God, when is he
gonna come out?

This is very Hitchockian.

Great movie, Will Smith.
No connection with this though.

[telephone rings]

I bet he's wishing
he had a hybrid. Right?

60 miles to the gallon
in the city.

No, I bet he's wishing
he was strangling someone.

Okay, that's our street.

That's our street.

He's going down our street.

- Come on, everybody.
- Go. Go, go, go, go.

[alarms wailing]

There it is.
There it is.

- I saw it.
- Where? Where?

I saw it.
It's gone.

- [groans]
- He went right by.

You missed it.
You missed it.

"Grandpa, where were you
the day

the Scranton Strangler
was caught?"

[elderly voice]
Well, I was there, kiddo.

I was there.

And I'll tell you what...

you go sell these and buy
yourself a nice spaceship.

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

Michael.

Walk with me.

Gabe and I are having
a party,

and everyone's invited,
and it's at his apartment.

- And we're gonna watch Glee.
- Glee? What is Glee?

Some sort
of television program?

Jim, I need that thing stat.

- Okay.
- Yeah, it's a tv show.

Dwight. Signing.

I don't have time for parties.

I don't have time
for TV shows.

Stanley, what time is
that thing that I have to do?

- I--
- Cancel it.

Are you still here?

Oh, it's just--
it's our first party together.

- So--
- Mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm.
Did you hear what I said?

I'm a very busy man.
I don't have time

for your TV show.

- Okay, sorry.
- I'm joking.

- Wait, which--
- I'm joking.

I'm kidding around.

I'm not actually angry.

[laughter]

I'm not busy at all.

I'm not doing anything.
And I know what Glee is.

- I am a total gleek.
- Oh, me too.

You know
what my favorite character is?

The invalid.

Yes, I'd love to come

- to your party.
- Oh, my gosh.

I don't know if Michael
likes Gabe that much.

He doesn't seem to acknowledge
his existence in any way.

He won't look at him,
and sometimes

he doesn't respond to him
like he can't hear him,

but I can hear him.
You guys can hear him, right?

I don't really know Gabe.

I know that, whenever
I hear his name or see him,

I am surprised,
and then I remember who he is.

He is--you know,
like when people discover

that someone's a serial killer,
and everybody says,

"Well, he seemed like
a very nice, normal guy."

That's--
I wish he was that normal.

There's this thing
on Glee called mash-up

where two things
that don't go together

make one great song.

Take Gabe,
take Michael,

you make "GayMike."

- Best friends.
- No, really?

Is there time
to change this?

That show--I mean,
first they say that Mr. Schue

doesn't know anything
about choreography,

and then, like,
three episodes later,

he's this fantastic
choreographer?

Pick a lane, people.

And what was
with Jesse's sudden turn

on Rachel
between Dream On and Funk?

Where the heck
did that come from?

Honestly, that show,
it's just-- it's irresponsible.

Crossword clue, ten letters,
means time of your life.

Gabe's party.

Well, look at this.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Why the hell--

I got my own crazy idea
for tonight.

I'm gonna watch a TV show
I want to watch

with people
I want to watch it with.

NCIS by myself.

Are you going?

Not because I want to.

Of all feelings
to base a show around, glee?

Thirst.
Now that's a show I'd watch.

I would watch that.

Tonight might be
a convenient night

for us to have
some intercourse.

You're having a party
at Gabe's apartment.

Mm-hmm.
I'd love it if you were there.

- You would?
- You and Michael

are always the life
of the party.

Try and keep me from coming.

Why would I keep you
from coming?

Try and hide it,
I will track this party down.

Why would I hide it?

[giggles]

Gabe bought so many books on
how to be a good boyfriend,

and he consults them
all the time.

He has so many allergies,

and you never
hear him complain.

When he sneezes,
he sneezes very gently

like a mouse.

He's a completely
pleasant person.

Kevin.

Hey. You going tonight?

Yes, I am.
Are you?

Yeah.

You got to go
to the boss's party, right?

Mm-hmm.
What?

No, Gabe--
Gabe is not the boss.

No, he's not the boss.

Why did you just say
he was the boss?

'Cause you're the boss.

Guys, do you consider Gabe
to be the boss?

[door shuts]

It's make-your-own-pizza
night.

- Okay.
- Isn't Gabe's place so nice?

Uh-huh.

Look at the size
of those wine glasses, Michael.

They're big.

Those posters used to be
real French ads.

All right.

So welcome to my man cave.

I did my senior year abroad
in Japan.

- Best year of my life.
- You play?

Oh, I like
to create soundscapes.

Imagine one instant of a song

expanded to be the size
of the universe.

I can't even do that.

She's up. Great.

Cece is reverse cycling,
which means she sleeps all day,

and she's up all night,
which basically means

I'm up all day,
and I'm up all night,

and if it doesn't stop soon,
I am gonna be up all night.

- That a working oven?
- Yeah.

- Yours doesn't work?
- Up to 200 degrees.

So these are your cheeses,
your hams,

your sausages, your herbs,
and your vegetables.

Here's what's been done.
Start creating.

Sometimes it helps
to think of a part of the world

- and then make--
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Gabe likes to entertain a lot.

And he cooks in an oven.

And all that jazz.

I just have
a different lifestyle.

They have these bags
of vegetables

that steam
right inside their own bag.

So I'll get a glass
of sangria,

sit down in front of the tv,

my bag of vegetables--

before you know it,
I'm ready for bed.

Oh, hmm, blech.
What else we got?

Okay.

Okay, oh, mini pasta.
That'll work.

Oh, those are actually
for the kid I mentor, so...

Well, this is
make-your-own-pizza, right?

Yeah, it's just
when his blood sugar--

So I wanted to do that, okay?

Is that good?
Can I do that?

- Do you mind if I do that?
- No.

- Can opener?
- Yeah.

All right.

Maybe Gabe got
a taste of success too young.

When I was Gabe's age,
I was a junior salesman

just struggling
to feed my fish.

I had to sleep on the couch
because my TV was on the bed.

I was Tom Hanks in Big,

and Gabe is just so

grown-up and boring

like Tom Hanks
in Philadelphia.

Okay.

You don't really toss
the dough.

Try to destroy
the old ways, Gabe.

I will not let you.

The show's starting.

The show's starting.

The show's starting.

Show's starting.

All right,
let's gather 'round.

- Who's that?
- Finn.

- Who's that?
- Rachel.

Okay.
Which one's glee?

You have to stop.

Well, I only like the shows

where the main person
is the title.

Monk, House,
Bones, Arliss, Leno,

It's just clever.

Where's Michael?
Where's Michael?

We can't start without Michael.

Oh, here he is.

Oh, yay,
and let the show begin.

That's a little loud.

Well, actually, I think

it's not loud enough.

May I?
Excuse me.

Thank you, sir.

There you go.
It's Glee.

Right?
Rock and roll.

Turn it up to 11.

- Come on, Michael.
- "Spinal cord."

Some of us are trying
to have a conversation.

Well, some of us
are trying to...

I'll just turn
the captions on.

Well, I will turn
the volume up.

That's for the other box.

Okay.

Okay.
Okay.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Right down the hall
is a bedroom.

All the real Glee fans
are gonna go down the hall

to the real Glee party
in the bedroom.

Follow me.
Where we can crank it.

Oh.
[laughs]

They almost jumped the shark.

You know what that refers to, right?

Happy Days?
The Fonz waterskies at the lake

in his leather jacket,
literally a swimming pool

with a shark.
[chuckles]

Happy Days?

Hey, Michael.

Maybe you should try going
in the other room again.

You can have my seat.

It's closer to the tv.

It'll seem louder.

Pam, I have a loaded gun

in my desk at work.

And if I ever start
acting like that weenie Gabe,

I want you to take that gun,

and I want you to shoot me,
like, 100 times

in the groin
till I'm dead, okay?

You have a gun
in your desk?

Somewhere.

Hey. Marantz tube stereo
from the 1970s.

I respect that.

I respect that a lot.

Ho-ho, the five Chinese
virility herbs.

No kidding.
This is powdered seahorse.

They say
that 15 Chinese soldiers

fought off the entire army
of Genghis Khan

just using this stuff.

- You know what they say...
- No, what?

What is this,
samurai woodcuts?

Yup.
Pretty erotic.

- Eh.
- Yeah.

What's your angle?

That woman. She's been
in a couple of episodes

of Friday Night Lights.

You know what?
I'm so confused.

Is this a Glee watching party

or is this a Glee
pausing party?

- Yeah. Yeah, I know.
- Because we keep stopping it

to get a history lesson
about television--

Well,
I didn't know the rules.

There. It's on.
It's on.

I didn't read the rule book.

Better men than Gabe
have tried to be my boss.

- [Cece sobbing]
- David got fired.

Charles got fired.

Jan went crazy.

Ed Truck, who I liked,

got decapitated.

- Michael.
- Yes.

I find it
absolutely disgraceful

that no one followed you
in here for your walk-out.

I took the liberty
of making a list of everyone

who didn't follow you in here.

Jim, Oscar, Creed,

- me, at first...
- Maybe I should go.

Kelly...
are you gonna quiet that baby

or do I have to?

[cooing]

Shh.

In the Schrute family,

the youngest child
always raises the others.

I've been raising children
since I was a baby.

[Glee cast singing
on television]

Take a shot.

Oh, thanks.

Man, so much Asian stuff.

I wonder if there's a guy
in China right now

looking at a bunch
of our stuff.

Why does Erin like Gabe?

Andy, look,

all I know is,
if I was a girl

and I had to choose
between a tall dude

who loved Asia
and a you-looking dude

who loved sweaters
and wearing sweaters,

I'd choose you.

That's really nice.
Thank you.

And I'd blow your mind.

[chatter]

Jim, what are you doing?

Oh, it's a commercial break,

so I just wanted
to check the scores.

Flip it back, please.

Okay.

The show's back on.
What happened?

- We were behind.
- Go to the recorded version.

Oh, my God.
What song was that?

- I wasn't recording it.
- What?

What song was it?

Wait, why do you have
to record it?

Right now is why, Erin.
We're living it.

- Start recording now.
- Jim.

Okay, they did
blinded by the light,

and they did it
with an actual blind guy.

Oh.

Was it worth it, Jim?

'cause we missed it.

If I could get her
sleeping normally,

I would get my life back.

That would be nice,
wouldn't it?

I can't even talk about it.

You know, it's not really
necessary for me to sit here

holding her all night.

Just go to Gabe's
refrigerator,

get a lump of suet--

or any kind of congealed
animal fat will do, really--

tie a piece of string to it,

tie the other end
to her toe,

pop the suet
in her mouth,

she'll be happy
for hours.

I kind of doubt
Gabe has suet.

Really?
Well...

- then here we are.
- Michael.

Gabe is making
the pigs in a blanket.

Shh.

And he kind of needs
some help,

so he was wondEring
if you could help him.

This sweater is hideous.

Where'd you get it,
Salvation Army?

Her grandmother knitted it
for her.

Oh, God.

Look who I found.

Yeah, well, I wasn't
very hard to find.

Let's go ahead
and wash your hands.

Is this the same dough that
you used for the pizza crust?

Yeah.
Waste not. Right?

So these are pizza dogs.
These aren't pigs in a blanket.

Per se.

Michael knows everything
there is to know about snacks.

- Well.
- Gabe was born in 1982.

He was the longest baby
in the hospital.

He's the longest baby
in this room.

What's the longest thing
you've ever seen?

For me,
it was the trail from a jet--

Erin, you don't have to--

Yeah, you know what, Erin,
you do have to.

Michael,
you are making this harder

- than it has to be.
- That's what she said.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome

Phyllis Vance.

[giggles]

[inhaling]

Is that White Diamonds
by Elizabeth Taylor?

You know your perfumes.

My nanny used to wear that.

I just ate
an entire seahorse.

I have to admit I did not
think it was gonna work.

But it's totally working.

I feel exactly
like a seahorse.

[neighs, then blubbers]

Mmm.

Good party, huh?

Guys, New Directions
is about to do their number,

and they just introduced
a character named Layla,

so I think I know
what's coming.

That man knows nothing
about Glee.

When you look like that,

you don't have
to know anything.

Okay, okay.

Hey.

It's a miracle.

She loves him.

Oh, I don't know about...

love.

She loves me.

Outside. My car.
Two minutes.

All right.
Something's come up.

- I gotta go.
- No, no, no, she'll wake up.

No, I have something to do.

I know
what you have to do.

Please stay with Cece.

Dwight, I've always
considered us

to be very good friends.
Great friends.

Remember your concussion?

I do.

But you married
my worst enemy.

- I know.
- Well, I think enemy's

a strong word.

'cause I think we have a really
charming back-and-forth.

Enough.

I will require beer and pizza
to think this over.

- Absolutely.
- From Jim.

- Well, I don't think that's--
- Do it.

What kind of pizza
would you like?

Surprise me.

No.

Pepperoni.

Okay.

All right.

And the winner is
by two votes, Sam and Qu--

[screams]
What's going on?

[overlapping chatter]

Hey, Creed.
Do you read Chinese?

- Better than English.
- What does this say?

[speaks Mandarin]

Hello, U.P.S., still waiting
on that five minutes

with Erin I ordered.

Oh, never mind, it's here.

Well, if it isn't
the belle of the ball.

You throw a lovely party, milady.

Are you having a good time?

Did you wear
my favorite outfit on purpose?

Andy, you look awful.

You're four seasons in a day.
[gags]

You got the autumn thing
going on.

But if you put on baby--
[gags]

Oh.

Mm.
But if you put on a blue...

It's springtime
in the Rockies.

- Are you all right?
- No!

Mm-mm.

Insert it in my mouth.

Okay, that's not gonna make

your pizza-eating experience
any better, trust me.

Oh, try me.

Jim, just don't think

of it as degrading.

Think of it as you happen
to be moving the pizza

six inches this way,
and he happens to be biting it.

I'd prefer for him
to think of it as degrading.

Okay.

Crust first.

Okay.
Now the beer.

Beer me, Jim.

[hisses]

Gentle.

Mm.

Wow, that's so good.

Dab my mouth.

Just dab them.

Gentle.

Mm, thank you.
Well, that was fun.

Yeah.

Now I've got
to go meet Angela.

What?
No, wait.

You said
you were gonna help us.

I have a legal obligation

to Angela, okay?

She needs to be serviced.

- You need to stop talking.
- Oh, God.

Oh, come on.

Can we stop
the fake prissy act?

Join the real world.

Sex contracts exist, okay?

Okay, fine,
there must be some way

to get out of it,
even just for tonight.

Yeah, sure.
Jim can go see her.

- Okay.
- You've been

with a blonde before?
It's the big leagues.

I'm going home,
and I'm taking my baby.

No, no, don't.

I will go talk to Angela.

She is in heat.

She will eat your face off.

The reverse cycling
ends tonight.

A single piece
of pepperoni, please.

I'm not...

What are you doing?

I wanted to eat a pig
in a blanket... in a blanket.

- Makes sense.
- It doesn't make sense.

Ah, ah, ah.

What do you have?

[retches]

Are you all right?

Erin likes Gabe.

I know.

I thought you two
were nice together.

Do you think
that they've ever...

Made love?

I don't know.

Well, girls tell each other
things, right?

I'll see
what I can find out.

[overlapping chatter]

Where you been?

I just went out
for a walk.

Cable's out.

What?
Really?

That stinks.

It's still on upstairs.

What does that mean?
Party's over?

Everybody leaves?

Are you sure?

Hey, Puck and Finn
worked it out,

and the solo
is now a duet.

- Are you kidding me?
- No.

That's going on.

I can't believe
we're missing that.

Boy, I wish I could see that.

You know what,
I have an idea.

I don't know
if it's gonna work,

but let me give it this--okay.

I'm gonna give it a shot.

Please, Michael,

just make the Glee happen.

- Good luck, Michael.
- Erin.

So how long have you two
been going out now?

Oh, like three months.

I imagine things are starting
to heat up.

I don't know.

Of course,
you don't want to rush things.

I mean, the anticipation
can be so exquisite.

Bob and I took our time.

The first time
we saw each other naked,

we didn't even make love.

We just stared at each other
until we fell asleep.

It was magical.

- I have to go, Phyllis.
- Really magical.

Hey in there.
It's me, Pam.

It's not Dwight.
Don't think it's Dwight.

What are you doing here?

I know you and Dwight
have this weird deal.

Um, he sent me out here
to see if you could postpone.

- Where is he?
- Holding my baby.

Can you reschedule?

I should have my attorney
here to talk about this.

Okay, well, um,
let's get him on the phone.

It won't make this any weirder.

Are you authorized
to do this?

Yes.
I have been so authorized.

- By Dwight?
- Yes.

Fine.

Just tell me
what it's gonna take.

Okay, well, tell him

that we'll do this
tomorrow night instead.

- Okay, great, okay.
- No, but wait.

Not in a car, all right?
Or the silo or the barn.

And I want a bed
with clean sheets,

and I want him
to take me to a nice dinner.

Oh, you're enjoying this,
aren't you?

That's so not the case.

I will take your list
to Dwight,

and I'll see what he says.

Both: Okay.

Wait, Pam, Pam.

How did he seem?

You know, like,
did he seem disappointed?

You know,
there are a lot of guys

out there
who would just love

and appreciate
a woman lik--

You know what, Pam,
just save it.

You did this?

No, I was just check--
yes.

I did. Yes.

- Yes.
- Why won't you like him?

What is there to like?

He's just--
he's a weird, little,

skeevy guy
with no waist.

Why do you care
whether we like him or not?

I care if you like him.

Why?
I'm not your father.

All right.

- Okay.
- Go to your room.

What?

Go to your room,
young lady.

Um, I'm not going
to my room.

You listen to me.

You listen good.

You are not to see
that boy anymore.

You listen to me.

You are not to tell me
what to do.

As long as you are living
under this roof,

you are going
to do what I say.

I hate your roof.

Oh, do not raise
your voice to me.

I'll raise it all I want.
I'll raise the roof.

I will pull this car over.

I hate it.
I hate your car.

[laughter]

Hey, you.

- Oh.
- Well, come on.

I can only carry one of you.

See you, Oscar.

If you break
that girl's heart,

I will kill you.

It's just a figure of speech.

But seriously
if you break that girl's heart,

I will literally kill you
and your entire family.

Gabe, just go
and have fun with Erin.

But not too much fun.

That girl's
gonna turn my hair gray.

What happened?

I accidentally ate
some seahorses.

How much?

I don't know.
It's powdered.

So, like, four or five.
I don't know.

I've got just the thing.

This one's called
Earthrise on the Moon.

[ambient music]

That is so beautiful.