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1
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,388
What about this one?
It's kind of badass, right?
2
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,597
It just seems kind of crazy
3
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,307
in a way
I might need right now.
4
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,517
I don't know.
5
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,979
Oh! That's... not... yours.
6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,648
Stanley just drank O.J.
out of my mug
7
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,277
and didn't seem to realize
that it wasn't his hot coffee.
8
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,654
So the question
has to be asked,
9
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,991
is there no limit
to what he won't notice?
10
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,621
Going to the kitchen, Stanley.
You need anything?
11
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,123
I'll take a Milano.
12
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,374
Okay. Oh.
13
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,960
Just sign this for me
before I go.
14
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,881
Thank you.
15
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,511
Maybe Stanley's completely
checked out of life.
16
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,931
Maybe we weren't meant
to know the answers.
17
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,184
And who am I to play God?
18
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,186
I'm just a guy with time
on his hands.
19
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,814
What's a seven-letter
word for purse?
20
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,608
[high-pitched] Satchel.
21
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,568
No, starts with an "h."
22
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,779
Handbag.
23
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,155
Hmm, thank you.
24
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,743
Shh. Shh-shh.
25
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,498
[snickEring]
26
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,380
All right, everybody.
Take a seat.
27
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,716
As you may have heard,
our branch on the planet Jupiter
28
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,386
is up 8,000% in sales.
29
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,429
[cheers and applause]
30
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,892
Hold up.
That clock is slow.
31
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,769
It is 5:00.
32
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,230
I will see you all tomorrow.
33
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,940
Bye, Stanley.
Love you.
34
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,319
So long, Stanley.
35
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,279
Good night, everybody.
36
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,951
[door clicks]
37
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:01,162
{\an8}[upbeat music]
38
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:08,128
{\an8}♪ ♪
39
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,098
{\an8}So what kind of statement
40
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,100
{\an8}are you making with
that costume, Kevin?
41
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,019
{\an8}Well, the statement
that I'm making, Oscar,
42
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,896
{\an8}is I kind of look
like Michael Moore.
43
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:27,939
{\an8}[phone ringing]
44
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,774
{\an8}Dunder Mifflin,
the is Erin.
45
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,942
{\an8}Happy Halloween.
46
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,902
{\an8}How can I haunt you today?
47
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:33,987
{\an8}A lot of people are really
48
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,113
{\an8}getting into Halloween
this year.
49
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,531
{\an8}[high-pitched]
Six seconds, MacGruber!
50
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,242
{\an8}Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned...
51
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,036
{\an8}[high-pitched]
Two seconds, MacGruber!
52
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,955
{\an8}Including a costume contest
and bobbing for apples
53
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,206
{\an8}and a Ouija board.
54
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,959
{\an8}Oh, boom!
Ohh, explosion!
55
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,337
{\an8}MacGruber!
56
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:53,173
{\an8}People are really into
the costume contest this year.
57
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,966
{\an8}Might have something
to do with the prize.
58
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,634
{\an8}Maybe you've heard of it.
59
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,137
{\an8}The 2011 Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
coupon book,
60
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,849
{\an8}worth over $15,000
in savings.
61
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,435
{\an8}Stop.
62
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,519
{\an8}Too late.
63
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,771
{\an8}If I was the real
Scranton Strangler,
64
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:10,023
{\an8}you'd be so strangled by now.
65
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,649
{\an8}And if you're out there, Strangler,
66
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,734
{\an8}you will get caught.
67
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,361
{\an8}By me.
68
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,321
{\an8}Sounds like someone's
really trying to convince us
69
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,655
{\an8}that he's not
the Scranton Strangler.
70
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,741
{\an8}To my chickens,
I'm the Scranton Strangler.
71
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,950
{\an8}[rips piece of paper]
72
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,620
{\an8}Oh-ho.
That's very funny.
73
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,622
{\an8}Looks like someone
decided to dress up
74
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,748
{\an8}as ol' Dwight Schrute's mom.
75
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,124
{\an8}- What?
- You're only 1/3 as beautiful
76
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,168
{\an8}and about half her height.
77
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,753
{\an8}I am supposed to be
Olive Oyl.
78
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,130
{\an8}And it makes more sense when
I'm standing next to Popeye,
79
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,342
{\an8}but Jim doesn't want
to put his costume on.
80
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,843
{\an8}I am Popeye...
81
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,428
{\an8}after I retired from the navy
82
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,348
{\an8}and accepted a really cushy desk
assignment in corporate America.
83
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,226
{\an8}I've never really been
a costume guy.
84
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,894
{\an8}Even when I was a kid,
it just felt like something
85
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,105
{\an8}I was too old for, heh.
86
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,189
{\an8}And then, this morning,
87
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:55,193
{\an8}Pam hands me
this little number.
88
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,986
{\an8}No.
89
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,655
{\an8}I couldn't do it.
90
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,323
{\an8}What can I tell you?
91
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:03,159
{\an8}[as Popeye]
I am what I am.
92
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,662
{\an8}[normal voice]
Oof, even that just feels wrong.
93
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,998
{\an8}In case you can't read
my-my-my poker face...
94
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,458
{\an8}[laughs]
95
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,837
{\an8}We will be reviewing
our sales policies.
96
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,797
{\an8}I have ten seconds
to explain them
97
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,048
{\an8}or this whole place
blows up.
98
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,551
{\an8}MacGruber!
99
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,469
{\an8}Lame.
100
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,054
{\an8}Why don't witches
wear panties?
101
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,472
{\an8}Oh, here we go.
102
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,558
{\an8}Because they need
to grip the broom.
103
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,976
{\an8}[Michael laughs]
104
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,729
{\an8}Oh! Who likes to water-ski
on Lake Erie?
105
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,480
{\an8}No, what--
106
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,732
{\an8}where does Dracula
like to water ski?
107
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,191
{\an8}Lake Erie.
108
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:39,029
{\an8}PODIO--point of delivery
increased opportunity.
109
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,280
{\an8}PODIO.
110
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,365
{\an8}Gotta say,
the level of commitment
111
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,076
{\an8}to the costumes is outstanding.
112
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,369
Costumes?
113
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,246
We just have a really
high-profile staff.
114
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,165
Elaine Kagan is
the best saleswoman
115
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,207
in the northeast corridor.
116
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,835
Yeah, I've sold to mayor.
117
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,712
- So aware.
- All right.
118
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,088
And then we're gonna
machete through that,
119
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,757
make it a lean, mean...
120
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,050
You handled that really well.
121
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,052
What?
122
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:05,764
It's never easy to work with
your lady's old flames, OK?
123
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:09,267
They may be an old flame,
but you can still get burned.
124
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,269
When our warehouse workers
make deliveries,
125
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,771
they're gonna be
encouraged to offer clients
126
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,356
extra products.
127
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,358
And then they will split
those commissions with sales.
128
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,276
Wait, so drivers are gonna
be able to sell paper
129
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,195
- on the road?
- That is correct.
130
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,489
Has anyone started
calling you Gabe-wad yet?
131
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,615
Not here, no.
132
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,450
Gabe-wad.
133
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,494
Okay, guys,
fun is fun, but...
134
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:30,789
Blacula.
135
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,956
Dracula.
136
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,833
Oh, so...
137
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:34,959
I almost forgot.
138
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,461
You'll find this hilarious.
139
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,547
Apparently,
corporate is going to have
140
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:43,385
drivers sell paper
on their routes now.
141
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,346
That's like exactly sort of
the idea that you had.
142
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:50,100
Yes, I do remember saying
something like that to you.
143
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,852
Yeah.
144
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,562
I'm sorry.
145
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,814
I blew this.
146
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,357
You should have gotten
credit for that, man.
147
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,817
I'm just glad
we're gonna try it out.
148
00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,818
Really? We're good?
149
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:00,819
We're cool.
150
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,529
Okay.
151
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,322
- [laughs] Okay.
- What's that in your shirt?
152
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,826
Oh, that's a ream of paper.
153
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,327
Thought you might hit me.
154
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,747
Darryl Philbin
is the greatest guy
155
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,416
in the world.
156
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,583
And you know
what I'd like?
157
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,670
I would like to have
all the racists
158
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,796
brought together
159
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,674
and take Darryl Philbin
out to lunch.
160
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,467
Just to see
what they're missing.
161
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,011
It's a great stick, right?
162
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,679
It's really good. Classic.
163
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,681
I feel like you might
win the whole thing with that.
164
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,182
Thanks.
165
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,184
Yeah, I mean, most people
stop thinking cons are cool
166
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,687
at age eight, but yeah,
great costume.
167
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,272
Yeah.
168
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,107
Everyone realizes
this coupon book
169
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,860
is not actually worth
$15,000, right?
170
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,946
You'd have to spend $200,000
on crap you don't even need
171
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,781
to get $15,000 worth
of benefits.
172
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,700
Heh, I'm not the only one
who sees this, right?
173
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,784
No.
174
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,077
- No, it--
- No.
175
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,370
I get that.
I get that.
176
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,539
My neighbor had
one of these books.
177
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:58,209
Every day, they were eating out
or getting massages.
178
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,377
You should've seen
their driveway.
179
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,213
It's as smooth
as an aircraft carrier.
180
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,840
Um, excuse me, everyone.
181
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,051
I want to invite you all
to the Halloween party
182
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,510
I'm having at my bar.
183
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,928
You own a bar?
184
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,014
Public School at exit 11?
185
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,309
That's a great... name.
186
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,769
You're hilarious.
187
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,062
A-plus.
188
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,481
So... you're all
on the list.
189
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,608
Hey, man, can I get
a plus-five?
190
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:22,776
It's all guys.
191
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,110
Hey, what's the crowd like,
Danny?
192
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,653
Our age?
193
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,364
Okay.
194
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,783
[whispering] I don't think
that she would leave Jim
195
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,909
for Danny.
196
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,827
I don't know.
They're both handsome.
197
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,038
Pam is gonna choose
whoever has a scent
198
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,915
most like that
of her father.
199
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,667
Does anyone remember
what her dad smelled like?
200
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,627
- I think he--
- Hey, hey, gang, quiet.
201
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,212
Here she comes.
202
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,421
Did you hear about
that Danny guy?
203
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,049
Heard he used to date Pam.
204
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,258
So, four years ago,
205
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,510
when I was in
Stamford, Connecticut
206
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,470
- and dating someone else...
- Mm-hmm.
207
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,389
Pam went on two dates
with Danny.
208
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,556
Which was obviously
209
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,058
the greatest love story
ever told,
210
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,185
given how much people are
walking on eggshells around us.
211
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,187
We were basically
Romeo and Juliet.
212
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,438
- That's right.
- Except where Juliet
213
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,648
doesn't have
that great a time,
214
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,525
and Romeo doesn't call back
after two dates.
215
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,526
Yikes.
216
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,112
But I've learned
to love again.
217
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,322
- He's a cartoon sailor.
- [scoffs] No.
218
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,408
And he looks so handsome
in his uniform.
219
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,951
- Please.
- No, I'm not gonna--no.
220
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,161
- Oh, because you're so cool.
- Not so cool.
221
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,707
- So cool.
- Okay. All right.
222
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,709
Well...
223
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,168
Tuna.
224
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,504
Tuna.
225
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,256
If you want us
to skip this party...
226
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,257
I don't care.
227
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,092
I am never gonna forget
228
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,218
what Danny did to Pam.
229
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,387
I forget nothing.
230
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,305
I'm like an elephant
in that way.
231
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,890
You know what eleph--
buh--this--
232
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,809
this sucks for Jim, right?
233
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,352
But it also sucks for us,
234
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,355
because we don't get invited
to a ton of Halloween parties.
235
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,774
Yeah, and, like,
everyone's gonna be there.
236
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:49,029
Stanley, Phyllis, Angela,
237
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,698
Darryl, Creed's a maybe.
238
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,532
Creed's going?
239
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,035
[phone receiver clicks]
240
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,287
Madge from the warehouse
241
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,747
just made her first sale.
242
00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,998
Madge.
243
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,250
We should have been doing this
a long time ago.
244
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:08,381
What do you get for a person
245
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:12,260
whose career
you have just sabotaged?
246
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,179
Shirt.
247
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,724
$200 for a shirt? God.
248
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,895
Erin, would you please
do me a solid...
249
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:25,273
and get Darryl Philbin
on the speakerphone.
250
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,358
[dial tone]
251
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,277
[beep, line ringing]
252
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,695
Hello.
253
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,323
Hi, Darryl.
Come out here, please.
254
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,824
I'm good.
255
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,451
You need to stop
being so shy.
256
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,078
Come out here and embrace
who you really are,
257
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,496
superstar.
258
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,872
This is embarrassing, Michael.
259
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,040
Yeah, I bet it is.
260
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,000
If you're gonna do your job
well here...
261
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,002
you gotta get used
to being embarrassed.
262
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,212
Let me put my shoes on.
263
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,090
[click, dial tone]
264
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,342
Um, hit
the speakerphone button.
265
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,095
The speakerphone
button?
266
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,763
Same button
as you hit before.
267
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,181
[dial tone, beep]
268
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,557
Or sit on it.
269
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,143
This whole
delivery/sales idea,
270
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,520
you know whose that was?
271
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,063
That was Darryl Philbin's.
272
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:09,150
He thought of that way before
the corporate fat suits.
273
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,318
So what happened?
274
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,113
I got in the way.
I said no.
275
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,573
And it just stopped.
276
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,451
But then, corporate
comes up with this idea.
277
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,661
But you know what?
278
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,288
They need to know
that it was yours.
279
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,415
And I don't care
if I take a bullet,
280
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,083
we're going to call them.
281
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,668
We're going to put them
on speakerphone right now.
282
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:27,877
Oh.
283
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,880
And we are going
to straighten this out.
284
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:31,923
Screw corporate.
285
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,466
They probably stole
the idea anyway.
286
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,592
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh...
287
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,885
corporate stole nothing.
288
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,679
Okay? Darryl brought
this idea to me,
289
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,597
and then I told them,
giving Darryl full credit.
290
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,183
So no need
to "screw corporate."
291
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,144
Everyone, let's give Darryl
a round of applause
292
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,311
as planned.
293
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,313
[applause]
294
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:53,695
I'm a little peeved
at Darryl right now.
295
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:54,779
He went to Gabe
behind your back.
296
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,531
No, he didn't
go behind my back,
297
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,866
he went over my head.
298
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,744
He went over your head
to go behind your back.
299
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,829
What is taking someone
from behind?
300
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,497
No, shh, Michael, listen.
This cannot stand.
301
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,999
We can't have workers
going straight to corporate.
302
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,709
It makes your job superfluous.
303
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:08,918
It was a good idea, though.
304
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,712
Yeah, here's another
good idea.
305
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,840
Corporate chain of command.
306
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,552
We need to strangle
Darryl's idea.
307
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,513
Come on, they're drivers,
not salesmen.
308
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,140
This is a terrible idea.
309
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,600
Enough!
310
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,769
This is what we're doing.
We're doing it.
311
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,313
You know what I think?
I think corporate's trying
312
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,607
to get rid of the salesmen altogether.
313
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,067
Sounds like corporate to me.
314
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,818
Unless the sales staff
rises up,
315
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,320
we are doing this.
316
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,529
And you know what?
317
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,490
I don't care what
you workers think
318
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,909
because you don't make
the decisions--corporate does.
319
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,952
If you can use theater
320
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,245
to teach people about
the dangers of rent
321
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,748
in the gay community,
then you can use theater
322
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,959
to teach this office that
this idea has got to go.
323
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,295
In our little play,
I will be portraying
324
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:56,091
the likeable working man
who hates the idea.
325
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,593
- And I'ma be--
- And I will be playing the man.
326
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:02,180
I will be playing the guy
who thinks the idea's great...
327
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,807
- Boss man.
- Because all I care about
328
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,600
- is the almighty dollar.
- Boo!
329
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,018
I am the villain.
330
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,729
Hey, man, I'm just trying
to make a living here.
331
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,148
I'm just trying to make
an honest buck.
332
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,442
Why should I give up
50% of my commission?
333
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,777
Listen, man.
334
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,112
You'd only be splitting
commissions on sales
335
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,905
you wouldn't have made otherwise.
336
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,198
That's a good point.
337
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,449
So would you rather make 50%
of something
338
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,951
or 100% of nothing?
339
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,285
- 50% of something.
- There you go.
340
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,371
Boo-yah!
341
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,747
Um, Michael.
342
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,378
But 100% of nothing
is not too shabby.
343
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,131
I was a little skeptical
about the idea.
344
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,426
But Michael made
some good points.
345
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,302
- Hey, Danny.
- Hey.
346
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,762
I'm really sorry,
347
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,681
but we can't come
to your party tonight.
348
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:45,807
Ah, I was looking forward
349
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:46,808
to throwing some darts
with you guys.
350
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:47,767
- Well...
- Okay, well, then,
351
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,769
maybe we could do it...
352
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,771
like next Halloween.
353
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,023
- Oh, for sure.
- We're just, like,
354
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,524
totally caught
in the middle here.
355
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:55,942
What are you talking about?
356
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,820
Well, Jim and Pam basically
begged us not to go.
357
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,697
Jim and Pam really
don't want you to go?
358
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,073
They're really upset
359
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,325
about the whole
Danny situation.
360
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,744
I'll talk to them.
361
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,495
Yeah,
but just don't tell them
362
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,955
that we said
anything to you.
363
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,498
- Okay?
- Okay.
364
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,334
Or you're dead.
365
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,460
Okay.
366
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,211
Okay.
367
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,762
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God, a fan.
368
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,221
Sorry.
369
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,518
"You really made an impression
on us.
370
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,145
Jo Bennett, CEO."
371
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,772
Oh, do you remember these?
372
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,190
Oh.
373
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,692
- Be careful.
- [laughs]
374
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,694
Those things are great.
375
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,446
- I love those things.
- I love--
376
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,908
[fan clatters]
Sorry.
377
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,660
- [door clicks]
- Well, well.
378
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,455
You must feel like the tallest
girl at the dance.
379
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,915
Feels good to be recognized.
380
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:55,085
Aww, well, I feel good
when you feel good.
381
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,380
It may seem that I'm trying
to play both sides.
382
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,465
That is because I am.
383
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,636
Things are sometimes
what they seem.
384
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,055
It took real stones
going over Michael's head.
385
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,807
He's keeping me down too.
386
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,184
I think you and I have
a lot in common,
387
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,311
outside from
the one gigantic difference.
388
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,522
Did you need something,
Dwight?
389
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,273
Not now.
390
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,567
But maybe in the future,
I will.
391
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,236
And when I do,
392
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,239
I'd appreciate it if you
remembered back to now
393
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,701
when I came in here
asking nothing of you.
394
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,285
- Open or closed?
- Closed.
395
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,954
Okay.
396
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,124
[fan whirring]
397
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,003
[gasps] Kelly.
398
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,421
Great costume.
399
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,505
- Thanks.
- Oh...
400
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,424
Kelly! You cannot
change costumes
401
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,633
in the middle of the day!
402
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,593
Pam, she's out.
403
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,761
Um, if I'm out,
404
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:47,762
I'm gonna sue
this entire company
405
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,180
for discrimination!
406
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,808
Guys, you're arguing over
a 1 in 16 chance.
407
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,561
Over a prize worth...
40 bucks.
408
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:55,687
Um, 15,000 bucks, Oscar.
409
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,188
Yeah, shut it, Oscar.
410
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,732
Pam, she's disqualified, right?
411
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,900
I'm not disqualified just
'cause I look young and sexy.
412
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,153
Only--excuse me? Pam?
413
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,572
People are really
getting into this contest.
414
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,198
This is an amazing prize.
415
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,451
I mean, I don't even want
to give Pam a compliment
416
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,702
'cause she's so blecch.
417
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,412
But she did a good job.
418
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,414
I really want
that coupon book.
419
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:17,542
I spend most of my Sundays
gluing my loose coupons.
420
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,003
into a book.
421
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,630
This would free up
so much of my day.
422
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,883
My costume cost $600.
423
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,217
If I had the coupon book,
424
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,136
it would've cost
20% less than that,
425
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,014
which is why I need
that coupon book.
426
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,266
Garbage magnet.
Garbage magnet.
427
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:35,602
God, magnets
are interesting enough.
428
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,105
You don't need to tart 'em up
with some design.
429
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,150
I can't believe
this doesn't make you mad.
430
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,777
What the hell
are they talking about?
431
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,487
Hmm, Kevin and Gabe.
432
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:48,114
Probably about the extremes of
the human physique.
433
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,741
Do you think Kevin
is going over my head?
434
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,242
I don't--oh, my God.
435
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,702
Okay, all right!
All right!
436
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287
All right, you know what?
437
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,247
That's inappropriate, Kevin.
438
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,750
I am your boss, and if you
have something to say,
439
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,001
it goes through me,
440
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,336
and then I take it to Gabe.
441
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,171
Chain of command.
Do you understand?
442
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,048
- I am so sorry.
- Oh, you're sorry?
443
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,758
- I just thought--
- What did you just thought?
444
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,345
Well, Gabe asked me
if there were any really cool
445
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,973
Lady Gaga moves that
he could do for the catwalk,
446
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,643
- and so then I told...
- All right.
447
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:19,354
I told him that there
was this one cool move
448
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,731
where she powers down
like a robot.
449
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,191
- Okay.
- Okay?
450
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:26,027
But I'm so sorry that
I didn't tell you first.
451
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,488
Well, don't let it
happen again.
452
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,615
You think that I would
let this happen again?
453
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,659
No way, José!
454
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,202
I'm...
455
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,789
[bleep] you, Gabe.
456
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,957
Okay.
457
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,376
Can you imagine?
It's just crazy.
458
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,877
That is crazy.
459
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,296
We would never care if Andy
or Kevin went to your party.
460
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,382
Look, I'm just glad
we can laugh about it,
461
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,718
because I was a little nervous
about coming to work here
462
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,386
with, you know, our history.
463
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,679
Oh, my gosh.
464
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:54,222
Everyone keeps blowing
that out of proportion.
465
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,974
- It's not even a history.
- Exactly.
466
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,602
It's not like you guys had
some long relationship, right?
467
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,896
Big, painful breakup
I don't know about?
468
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,356
- Two or three dates.
- It was two.
469
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,983
Was it two?
I thought it was three.
470
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,234
No, we, um...
471
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,777
we had plans for a third,
472
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:08,903
but then, I don't know,
473
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,155
you never called me back, so...
474
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,073
Ooh.
You can't handle the truth.
475
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,283
[laughter]
476
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,743
Well,
that does not sound like me.
477
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,244
Yeah. It was, though.
478
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,998
That's what happened.
479
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,416
Well, great.
480
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,418
I just wanted to make sure
things weren't weird.
481
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,711
Mm-mm.
482
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,924
Okay, this whole
"going over my head gate"
483
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,343
is making people act weird.
484
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,969
Chain of command is crumbling.
485
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,095
Do you know
what just happened?
486
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,096
I just made Kevin cry.
487
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,098
And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga.
488
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,558
That's not Halloween.
489
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,770
Halloween should be a day
in which we honor monsters
490
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,146
and not be mad at each other.
491
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,315
I'm not mad.
Are you mad?
492
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,692
You went over my head,
and then you lied to my face,
493
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,278
so my head and my face
have taken a beating.
494
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,031
Well, I'm sorry
if it seems that way to you.
495
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,616
Okay, that might help,
496
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,786
if you said "I'm sorry" in front
of everybody in front of me.
497
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,955
[softly] If you're able to cry
a little bit,
498
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,792
all you have to do is think
about your mom being dead.
499
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,418
- Mike.
- Or a dog.
500
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,587
Mike, I didn't do
anything wrong.
501
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:08,963
You made a bad call.
502
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,132
You made a bad call.
503
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,009
And I fixed it.
504
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,803
So I'm not apologizing.
505
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,763
So that's it?
506
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,556
- That's it.
- Is it?
507
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,684
Yes.
508
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:27,148
Suck it.
509
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,025
Bill Compton
from True Blood.
510
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,443
How many freakin' vampires
511
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,195
am I supposed
to care about these days?
512
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,238
Come on, Erin.
513
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,489
[playful music]
514
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,866
Oh, yeah.
You get it? You get it?
515
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,327
Oh.
[all cheering]
516
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:42,330
Okay, okay.
Here we go, Gabe.
517
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,998
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [squeals]
518
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,291
- Yeah, Gabe!
- Come on.
519
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,876
All right, here we go, Andy.
520
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:47,836
- [chuckles]
- Here we go.
521
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:48,962
Come on, Andy.
522
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:51,840
Do it. Do it.
523
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,383
Ooh. Not too fast.
524
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:55,385
- Let go. Let go.
- Oh, would you hurry?
525
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,679
- Nice and slow.
- [grunts]
526
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:00,807
Nice and slow.
[cheers and applause]
527
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,018
I guess you could say
I'm still in costume.
528
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,895
I'm a "rational consumer."
529
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,522
Oh, yeah.
530
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,193
Stupid coupon booklet.
531
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:14,779
You see my costume?
I'm a "rational consumer."
532
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,947
Yeah, I heard you say it
to Phyllis.
533
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,240
That's a good line.
534
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,868
Okay, everybody,
after you walk the runway,
535
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,495
everyone has to vote
for who gets the coupon book,
536
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,205
and you can't
vote for yourself.
537
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,583
Pam, can you vote
for other people?
538
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,043
Yep.
539
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,627
Oh, and second prize is a set
540
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,963
of Vance Refrigeration
poetry magnets
541
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,882
courtesy of Vance Refrigeration.
542
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,092
You gotta ask yourself,
543
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:39,929
do you feel lucky, punk?
544
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,390
Oh, hey, I'm just kidding.
[laughs]
545
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:46,227
Let's all have a happy
and a safe Halloween.
546
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,896
Hey, I got to get in on this.
547
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,398
Hey, it's cool, it's cool.
548
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,068
Bippity-boppity
boopity-boo-bah.
549
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,611
You early Bill Cosby?
550
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:57,030
No, man.
I work in the warehouse.
551
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,823
I'm cool!
552
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,909
I'm hip and I'm jive,
553
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,203
but I don't care about nobody!
554
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,996
Do you know who I am?
555
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,457
Happy Halloween, jerk!
556
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:11,961
Still don't know who I am?
557
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,546
I'll give you a hint.
558
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,423
I go over
other people's heads.
559
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,008
Michael,
this is a bad idea.
560
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,259
What's a bad idea?
561
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:19,511
Dressing up as somebody--
562
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,262
I mean, when has that
ever worked for you?
563
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,847
Never!
564
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,849
Okay, you know what?
Fine.
565
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,309
I'm not Darryl.
566
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:27,894
And thank God I'm not Darryl.
567
00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,813
Could you for once
just let us enjoy a party
568
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,817
instead of making it
about all your issues?
569
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:42,409
Oh, being dead is gonna
be so relaxing.
570
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,120
* Get a jolt
from my electrode ♪
571
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,329
[applause]
572
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,707
♪ They did the monster mash ♪
573
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,833
♪ The monster mash ♪
574
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:50,875
Aah!
575
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,127
He's a warrior.
576
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,044
* They did the mash ♪
577
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:56,381
Yes. Yeah.
578
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,383
* They did the monster mash ♪
579
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:02,303
I present to you
the "rational consumer."
580
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,139
As it were.
581
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,934
[cheers and applause]
582
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:11,312
* Igor on chains
backed by his baying hounds ♪
583
00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,732
Oh, no. Lookie.
584
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,109
- Oh.
- Lookie, lookie, lookie.
585
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,986
[chatter]
586
00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:19,487
- Ow!
- Oh!
587
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,740
He's doing the Samurai thing.
588
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,241
[applause]
589
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:26,077
[chatter]
590
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,956
Who did it? Who did it?
Who wants to do it now?
591
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,042
Slow.
Nice and slow, honey, yeah.
592
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,043
Angela as a nurse.
593
00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,210
Don't--slow it down.
594
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:35,295
There it is.
595
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:36,254
I don't like your tone.
596
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,630
Look, they were sold out
597
00:21:37,672 --> 00:21:40,925
of all the other costumes, okay?
598
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,969
Think we all live
in the real world here.
599
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,263
Let's not pretend
to be unaware
600
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,848
of what sells in this office.
601
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,184
Who do you think's doing it?
602
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,935
Maybe it's Tom.
603
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,145
Who's Tom?
604
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:53,480
He used to work here.
605
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,191
Then one night,
he took his own life
606
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,026
right here in this office.
607
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,154
Ooh, spooky.
608
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:02,489
That really happened.
609
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,907
What should we ask?
610
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,367
Hey, can I play?
611
00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:08,870
Why don't you ask
if Darryl is a bad friend
612
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,997
who backstabs people
in the back?
613
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:12,874
We have one question
to ask the spirit world,
614
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,125
and you want us to ask that?
615
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,460
He says no.
616
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,754
Ah, Darryl moved it.
You moved it.
617
00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:19,047
No.
618
00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:21,383
Hey, Dwight,
you saw Darryl move it, right?
619
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,051
Let's just say I saw
620
00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:25,387
exactly what the two of you
wanted me to see.
621
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,347
I know how to sit on a fence.
622
00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,891
Hell, I can even
sleep on a fence.
623
00:22:29,933 --> 00:22:31,559
The trick
is to do it face down
624
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,687
with the post in your mouth.
625
00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:35,897
Tom-Tom,
it's the Creedster here.
626
00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:38,358
I hope you're happier now.
We miss you.
627
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,362
We're selling printers now,
just like you always wanted.
628
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,656
Hey, Tom, it's Michael.
629
00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:46,950
You remember Darryl
when you were alive, right?
630
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:49,244
If you had one word you would
use to describe Darryl,
631
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,913
what would that word be?
632
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,916
"A"...
633
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,793
"S"...
634
00:22:56,835 --> 00:22:58,545
"S".
635
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:02,882
"H".
No.
636
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,092
Oh.
637
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:05,802
"E"...
638
00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:06,970
"T".
639
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,304
An asset.
640
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:10,557
Aah!
Aah!
641
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:13,643
That's enough.
642
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,815
I don't think it's gonna
work out the way you think.
643
00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:21,484
I don't think you get it.
644
00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:24,821
- Hey.
- Hey.
645
00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:26,197
This is some party, huh?
646
00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:28,575
When you work hard,
you play hard around here.
647
00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:30,785
- Even if you don't work hard.
- [chuckles]
648
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,956
- Oh, here's something.
- Mm?
649
00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:38,001
Uh, why didn't you
ever call Pam back?
650
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:39,878
Are you serious?
651
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:40,962
Yeah.
652
00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,630
I mean, I'm not saying
that everybody
653
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:43,757
has to fall in love
or anything.
654
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:44,841
I'm just saying,
but to, you know,
655
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:46,301
to not even
call her back is...
656
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:47,469
You know what it was?
657
00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:48,970
I think
she gave me her number,
658
00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:50,680
but then, like, her fours
looked like eights, and then...
659
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,973
Could be.
660
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:54,267
But you also called her
the second time,
661
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,769
so you had the number right.
662
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,855
Halpert, you looking for
someone to bang your wife?
663
00:23:58,897 --> 00:24:01,566
- Nope.
- Okay.
664
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:04,319
You want to know?
665
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:05,695
I didn't call her back
666
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,822
because she spent the whole date
talking about you.
667
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:10,992
She was obviously
in love with you.
668
00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:13,286
* Grooving
from side to side ♪
669
00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:15,497
57, 58.
670
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:16,664
Wait, she hasn't moved
in a while.
671
00:24:16,706 --> 00:24:17,874
Erin. Er--
672
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:19,626
Two.
I got two.
673
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:21,169
I ate two whole apples.
674
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:22,712
[laughs]
675
00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:27,509
I'd remember
talking about Jim.
676
00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:28,927
- That wasn't it.
- [sighs]
677
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:30,929
Just tell her
the real reason.
678
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,597
You honestly want to know
679
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,683
why I didn't call her back
on a date over four years ago?
680
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:36,726
Hey, she had a nice time.
It seems rude.
681
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:38,311
I did. Yeah.
682
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:39,562
And it's one of those things
683
00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:40,814
that's just gonna keep
gnawing at me.
684
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:42,691
Like gnaw, gnaw.
"Why? Why didn't he?
685
00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:43,817
- I have no idea why."
- Okay.
686
00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,694
Honestly,
I didn't call you back
687
00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:48,988
'cause I thought
you seemed a little...
688
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:52,867
dorky.
689
00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:54,703
- Hey, man...
- Thank you.
690
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:55,912
Thank you.
691
00:24:55,954 --> 00:24:57,330
I got it.
692
00:24:57,372 --> 00:24:59,207
Now I know.
693
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:01,459
You thought
I was a little dorky.
694
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,795
You know?
695
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:06,089
Ha-la-la. Okay.
696
00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:10,010
Well, excuse me.
697
00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:12,721
In the future,
you need
698
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:13,763
to get Michael's approval
699
00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,223
on anything
before coming to me.
700
00:25:15,265 --> 00:25:16,474
Thank you.
701
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:18,226
You're gonna miss out
on some good ideas.
702
00:25:18,268 --> 00:25:19,728
Okay, well, obviously,
703
00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:20,854
if it's a really--
really good idea,
704
00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:22,230
then my door is open
to that.
705
00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:24,899
If they're good ideas,
I'm not gonna say no.
706
00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,860
- You said no to this one.
- That's--okay.
707
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,862
I make one mistake
in 15 years
708
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,155
and you drag me
over the coals.
709
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,781
After everything I did
for you?
710
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:33,074
- What have you done for me?
- Oh...
711
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:34,909
- What have you done for me?
- Well...
712
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,620
Ed Truck hired me.
Jo promoted me.
713
00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:39,581
Gabe listened to me.
714
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:44,085
All you've ever done
was say no to me.
715
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:46,254
I have ambition.
716
00:25:46,296 --> 00:25:48,840
And you kept me
at the same level for years.
717
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:52,552
Oh, dropping bombs, right?
[mimics explosion]
718
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:53,928
Must really make you think, Michael.
719
00:25:53,970 --> 00:25:57,515
Stop it. Stop. Stop.
We're thinking.
720
00:25:57,557 --> 00:25:58,933
- We're thinking about it.
- Yeah.
721
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:00,101
You don't have to point
to the fact
722
00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,436
that we're thinking about it.
723
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:04,814
Stop it.
Just let us think.
724
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:08,318
Okay, next time you have
a really great idea,
725
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:10,945
we will put it in a hat
726
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:12,947
and then we will have Erin
pick it out of the hat
727
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:14,199
and let her decide.
728
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,950
I don't understand the point
of the hat.
729
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,118
You're right.
We don't need a hat.
730
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,120
I am not budging
on the hat issue.
731
00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:21,664
Okay, we're gonna table
the hat question.
732
00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:23,625
The best ideas
are gonna come to me.
733
00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,960
I make the final decision. Period.
734
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:28,755
Okay. We both reserve
the right to go to Jo
735
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:30,674
if we disagree with Gabe.
736
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:32,008
- Okay.
- Fair enough.
737
00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:33,551
Why don't we simplify this?
738
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:36,596
Darryl brings it to Michael.
Michael brings it to me.
739
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:39,391
No one calls Jo.
740
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,685
Unless you and I decide
we want to talk to Jo.
741
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:44,479
- Then we'll give her a call.
- Cool.
742
00:26:44,521 --> 00:26:46,106
Yeah. I'm sorry I lied to you.
743
00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:50,151
I'm sorry.
I was a jerk.
744
00:26:50,193 --> 00:26:54,364
Friends fight.
Friends fight.
745
00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:57,701
Doesn't mean that
they stop being friends.
746
00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:01,413
[backboard rattles]
747
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,250
- [backboard rattles]
- 'Sup, man?
748
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:06,751
Sometimes it seems like
it was better
749
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:08,294
down in the warehouse,
you know?
750
00:27:08,336 --> 00:27:09,838
When I was a freshman
in college,
751
00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:11,548
I worked at
the student newspaper,
752
00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:13,925
The Cornell Daily Sun,
this was at Cornell.
753
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:16,344
I had to write an op-ed column
every day.
754
00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:17,595
"Bernard's Regards."
755
00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:19,472
This was your freshman year?
756
00:27:19,514 --> 00:27:21,391
I started to ask myself,
757
00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:23,018
"Do I have big plans here?"
758
00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:24,978
I didn't want to become
editor of that paper,
759
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:28,440
so I got up and walked right out
of Walter Bernard Hall,
760
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:32,819
and that's actually when
I heard eight male voices,
761
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:37,365
singing,
unencumbered by instruments.
762
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:38,825
I was hooked.
763
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:44,873
So is becoming CEO
of this company...
764
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:48,043
your a cappella group?
765
00:27:48,084 --> 00:27:50,086
Come on, we're going to
Danny's bar, Public School.
766
00:27:50,128 --> 00:27:52,130
No, I got some work to do.
767
00:27:52,172 --> 00:27:55,842
I do got big plans
at this company.
768
00:27:55,884 --> 00:27:57,135
[indistinct chattering]
769
00:27:57,177 --> 00:28:00,096
It was, like, really gentle.
770
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:01,723
To be honest,
I still can't believe
771
00:28:01,765 --> 00:28:03,850
he didn't call her back.
772
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:07,062
Who doesn't call a dork
like that back?
773
00:28:08,438 --> 00:28:10,899
Oh, wow.
774
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,818
Spinach in a can.
Powerful spinach.
775
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:16,321
- A-gah-gah-gah-gah.
- Aw, my hero.
776
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:20,408
- [humming Popeye theme]
- [laughs] Yay.
777
00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,243
My hero.
778
00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,413
When Michael gave me
this new job,
779
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:27,916
he said I could come and go
as I please.
780
00:28:27,957 --> 00:28:30,001
So I think I'll just go
for a while.
781
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:35,507
Okay, everyone,
I've tallied the votes.
782
00:28:35,548 --> 00:28:38,718
And the winner of the Costume
Celebration Spectacular
783
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,138
and the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
coupon book, Oscar Martinez.
784
00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:47,394
- [scattered applause]
- Really?
785
00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:48,937
If I have to vote
for someone,
786
00:28:48,978 --> 00:28:52,273
I don't want it to be someone
who can beat me.
787
00:28:52,315 --> 00:28:55,527
Shake things up.
I'm a Nader guy.
788
00:28:55,568 --> 00:29:01,074
Best Edward James Olmos
costume I've ever seen.
789
00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:02,784
Like, freaky good.
790
00:29:02,826 --> 00:29:06,830
A free power boost
at Body Shakes Boba Bar?
791
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:08,206
- I don't know what that is.
- What?
792
00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:09,499
Boba is so weird.
793
00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:11,167
That tapioca--
no, no, no, no, no.
794
00:29:11,209 --> 00:29:12,460
It's not weird.
It's different.
795
00:29:12,502 --> 00:29:14,004
And it's gross.
796
00:29:14,045 --> 00:29:17,382
Who wants a 100 MB MP3 player?
797
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:19,718
Special bonus:
does not play iTunes.
798
00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:21,553
- Pass.
- No, no, no, no.
799
00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:23,138
Come on, just look
for something good.
800
00:29:23,179 --> 00:29:25,557
Get something good, Oscar.
You're not reading them right.
801
00:29:25,598 --> 00:29:27,934
Oh, 5% off your next
Dunder Mifflin order.
802
00:29:27,976 --> 00:29:29,227
Ask for "Stan the Man."
803
00:29:29,269 --> 00:29:30,395
Uh, no thanks.
804
00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:32,063
Yes.
Yes, I'll take that one.
56291
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