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1
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,973
BUENOS DIAS, ERIN.
2
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,599
BUENOS DIAS, MIGUEL.
3
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:17,809
[phone rings]
4
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,477
HELLO, DUNDER MIFFLIN.
5
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,812
NO, NO, NO, NO.
6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:24,607
SOLAMENTE, EN ESPAÑOL,
POR FAVOR.
7
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:27,402
HOLA, DUNDER MIFFLIN.
YO ERIN.
8
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,071
[dial tone buzzing]
9
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,948
BUENOS DIAS, AMIGOS.
10
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,200
I BELIEVE THAT EVERY MAN,
WOMAN, AND CHILD IN THIS COUNTRY
11
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,785
SHOULD LEARN
HOW TO SPEAK SPANISH.
12
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,829
THEY ARE OUR NEIGHBORS
TO THE SOUTH,
13
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,541
AND THIS WOULD BE
A HEALING THING FOR--
14
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,918
FOR ALL OF NORTH AMERICA.
15
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:48,673
AND...I AM GOING ON VACATION
NEXT WEEK TO CANCUN.
16
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,468
BUENOS DIAS, JAIME.
17
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,303
BUENOS DIAS, MIGUEL.
COMO ESTAS?
18
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,973
[speaking Spanish]
19
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,185
HA HA!
20
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,020
MICHAEL'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
21
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,688
HAS ALWAYS BEEN
AT BEST, TENUOUS,
22
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,399
AND AT WORST, ABUSIVE.
23
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,444
SO IT'S NICE TO SEE HIM
WITH A LANGUAGE
24
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,613
THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY
25
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,073
AND BRIEF.
26
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,491
BUENOS DIAS, DWIGHT!
27
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,201
GUTEN TAG, HERR MICHAEL.
28
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,327
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY MICHAEL
29
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,912
IS WASTING HIS TIME
WITH SPANISH.
30
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,455
I HAVE IT
ON VERY GOOD AUTHORITY
31
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,706
THAT WITHIN 20 YEARS,
32
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,167
EVERYONE WILL BE
SPEAKING GERMAN.
33
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,003
OR A CHINESE-GERMAN HYBRID.
34
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,464
LA TELEFONA.
35
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,633
EL TELEFONE.
36
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:35,887
MICHAEL'S HAVING A HARD TIME
WITH THE GENDER PART OF SPANISH.
37
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,430
SO I TOLD HIM
TO MARK EVERYTHING
38
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,808
WITH THE INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL
FOR GENDER.
39
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,393
AND, UM...
40
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,979
I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN MORE SPECIFIC.
41
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,565
YOUR OFFICE IS FULL
OF GENITALIA.
42
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,733
[clears throat] OH.
43
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,528
ESO ES LO QUE DICE EL.
44
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,612
"THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS"?
45
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,197
DAMN IT.
[knock at door]
46
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,782
AH, ANGELO.
47
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,117
ANGELA.
48
00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,577
MICHAEL.
49
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,829
YO SOY CANCUN.
50
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,749
UH!
51
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,752
[cheerful music]
52
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:14,968
{\an8}♪ ♪
53
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:30,734
{\an8}IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA
TO FORCE IT
54
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,901
{\an8}IF THE SHAPES DON'T MATCH UP.
55
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,820
{\an8}THE SHAPES DON'T MATTER, RYAN.
56
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,030
{\an8}AS LONG AS THERE'S
A CONNECTION,
57
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,365
{\an8}STUFF CAN PASS THROUGH IT.
58
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:40,285
{\an8}I'LL LET YOU JUST
DO WHAT YOU'RE DOING, OKAY?
59
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,788
{\an8}THERE'S THIS WOMAN I MET
A FEW WEEKS AGO.
60
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,290
{\an8}HER NAME IS DONNA.
61
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,792
{\an8}SHE'S THE MANAGER
OF SID AND DEXTER'S.
62
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,627
{\an8}AND RIGHT NOW,
WE'RE IN THE MIDST
63
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,296
{\an8}OF A PASSIONATE LOVE AFFAIR.
64
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,717
{\an8}UM, NO.
BUT SHE IS COMING BY TODAY
65
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,553
{\an8}MAYBE TO BUY SOME PRINTERS,
SO--
66
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,597
{\an8}ALL RIGHT, SO I'LL
FINISH UP ON BULK PRICING,
67
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,974
{\an8}AND THEN YOU GO INTO
DELIVERY GUARANTEE.
68
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:03,975
{\an8}YOU KNOW, MAYBE
THERE'S AN OPPORTUNITY
69
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:04,976
{\an8}FOR A JOKE THERE.
70
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,479
{\an8}LIKE, UM...LIKE,
71
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,481
{\an8}"I JUST DELIVERED A BABY.
72
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,442
{\an8}THEY DIDN'T OFFER ME
A GUARANTEE."
73
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,235
{\an8}YEAH, OR MAYBE WE DON'T EVEN
NEED THAT.
74
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,488
{\an8}CAN YOU SMELL THE POWER
OF HALPERTS?
75
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,157
{\an8}POWER COUPLE.
MIGHT MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS.
76
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,326
{\an8}OH, THEY WISH
THEY WERE POWER RANGERS.
77
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,328
{\an8}GOOD LUCK GETTING NINJOR
TO SHARE HIS POWER COINS
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,205
{\an8}- WITH THESE TWO.
- OKAY, NERD ALERT.
79
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,791
{\an8}NEVER SAW THE SHOW. AND THAT
STUFF WAS NOT IN THE MOVIE.
80
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,584
{\an8}YOU KNOW WHAT? I SHOULD BE
GETTING THIS CLIENT, MICHAEL.
81
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,336
{\an8}MY NUMBERS ARE BETTER
THAN EITHER OF THEIRS.
82
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,587
{\an8}I WENT WITH THE PEOPLE
I THOUGHT
83
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,963
{\an8}WOULD PUT THE BEST FACE
ON THE COMPANY.
84
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,256
{\an8}IF YOU WANT PEOPLE
85
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,966
{\an8}TO PUT THE BEST FACE
ON SOMETHING,
86
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,176
{\an8}WHY WOULD YOU GET TWO PEOPLE
87
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,177
{\an8}WHO PROBABLY
HAVE NEVER CUT THE FACE
88
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,888
{\an8}OFF OF ANYTHING
IN THEIR LIVES?
89
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,306
{\an8}[whispers]
THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
90
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,350
{\an8}THIS IS OUR FIRST
JOINT SALES PITCH.
91
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,726
{\an8}I THINK WE'RE GONNA WORK
REALLY WELL TOGETHER.
92
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,813
{\an8}YEAH, I THINK WE HAVE
COMPLEMENTARY STRENGTHS.
93
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:50,980
{\an8}WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.
94
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,732
{\an8}WE HAVE GOOD GIVE AND TAKE.
95
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,401
{\an8}I GIVE, HE TAKES!
96
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,238
{\an8}[whispering] I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.
97
00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,447
YEE.
98
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:05,954
HI, UH, DONNA NEWTON,
HERE TO SEE MICHAEL SCOTT.
99
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,664
OH, HEY, MS. NEWTON.
100
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,748
HI, I'M JIM.
101
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,041
HOW ARE YOU?
102
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,876
DID SOMEBODY ORDER
A HOOKER OVER HERE?
103
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,004
- [laughing] OH, STOP THAT.
- HI.
104
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,964
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
105
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,340
- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- RIGHT HERE,
106
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,175
WE HAVE THE WONDER TWINS,
JIM AND PAM HALPERT.
107
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,844
THEY WILL BE
ASSISTING YOU TODAY.
108
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,429
YOU LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE.
109
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,389
OH, NO,
WE'RE ACTUALLY MARRIED.
110
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,890
WE'RE NOT BROTHER AND SISTER.
111
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,392
I HAVE A SENSE
ABOUT THESE THINGS.
112
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,476
ALL RIGHT.
113
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,104
YOU HAVE SOME ANCESTORS
IN COMMON...
114
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,063
SOMEWHERE BACK.
115
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,148
I KNEW IT.
116
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,567
YOU SHOULD SEE THEIR BABY.
117
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,152
I GUESS YOU REMEMBER
EVERYBODY ELSE
118
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,279
FROM WHEN WE VISITED YOU
AT YOUR RESTAURANT.
119
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,239
I BET YOU MEMORIZED
WHAT EVERYBODY DRINKS.
120
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,574
- NOT REALLY.
- NO?
121
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,576
NO. [laughs]
122
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,661
YEAH, DINED AND DASHED.
123
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,456
USUALLY, THEY DON'T FOLLOW YOU
TO YOUR PLACE OF WORK.
124
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,167
HAPPENS SOMETIMES.
PART OF THE GAME.
125
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,252
SO, YES, LASER PRINTERS
ARE MORE EXPENSIVE.
126
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,087
BUT THEY COST LESS
TO OPERATE.
127
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,380
[knocking]
SO IT'S A TRADEOFF.
128
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,590
- HI.
- ONE SECOND.
129
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,591
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
130
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,051
A LITTLE TIME SENSITIVE.
131
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,428
DO YOU, DONNA, BY ANY CHANCE
SHOP AT VICTORIA'S SECRET?
132
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,930
- WHAT?
- BECAUSE I KEEP GETTING
133
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,724
THESE MAGAZINES SENT TO ME
134
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,101
VIA THE ADDRESS OF THE WOMAN
WHO USED TO LIVE IN MY CONDO
135
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,895
BEFORE ME.
136
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,313
NONE OF THIS
IS TIME SENSITIVE.
137
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,815
UH, YES, UH, THE SALE IS ON
NOW THROUGH MAY.
138
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:16,858
OH, YEAH, THANK YOU.
139
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,276
OKAY, I HAVE MORE OF THEM.
140
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,320
DO I REALIZE DONNA'S
AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON?
141
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,363
YES.
142
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,323
AM I ATTRACTED TO HER?
YES.
143
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,076
DOES THAT MEAN
THAT I AM MORE EXCITED
144
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,620
TO SELL HER PRINTERS
THAN TO SOMEONE ELSE,
145
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,288
SOME UGLY CLIENT?
146
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,581
YES.
147
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,291
YOU WOULD HAVE
WEEKLY CONFERENCE CALLS
148
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,126
WITH EXECUTIVES
IN CORPORATE.
149
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,961
A TWO-WEEK TRAINING PROGRAM
150
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,713
AT THE YALE
SCHOOL OF MANAGEMENT,
151
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,048
OBVIOUSLY, YOU WOULD
BE HIGH ON THE LIST
152
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,258
FOR ADVANCEMENT OPPORTUNITIES.
153
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,635
SOUNDS ALL RIGHT.
154
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,678
WHAT IS THIS?
155
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,304
OH, THIS
IS "PRINT IN ALL COLORS,"
156
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,515
SABRE'S MINORITY EXECUTIVE
TRAINING PROGRAM.
157
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,600
IT DOESN'T
JUST SOUND A'IGHT,
158
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:51,643
IT SOUNDS AMAZING.
159
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,977
I DIDN'T SAY "A'IGHT."
160
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,354
HOW DO I APPLY?
161
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,730
YOU HAVE TO BE A MINORITY.
162
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,941
UH, GLASSES WEARERS.
163
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,776
CHOLERA SURVIVORS. GENIUSES.
164
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,403
NON-ORGANIC FAMILY FARMERS.
165
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,029
THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.
YOU WANT ME TO KEEP GOING?
166
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,364
THOSE DON'T REALLY COUNT.
167
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,157
WE'RE THINKING MORE ETHNIC
AND RACIAL MINORITIES.
168
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,284
COME HERE.
169
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,828
- COME HERE.
- HMM?
170
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,955
TEN SECONDS AGO, THIS GUY
WAS DRIVING A FORKLIFT.
171
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:15,125
OKAY? NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN,
HE'S CINDERELLA OF THE OFFICE.
172
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,710
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING?
173
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,877
WELL--
174
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,879
I LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS.
175
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,465
MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL BE SITTING
IN MICHAEL'S CHAIR.
176
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,551
WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING?
177
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,177
ONE MINORITY
FROM THIS BRANCH
178
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,846
IS GOING TO GET
INTO THIS PROGRAM.
179
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,181
WHO WOULD I PREFER?
HMM...
180
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,142
THE COMPETENT,
HARDWORKING ONE
181
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,352
WHO DOES THINGS HIS OWN WAY,
182
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,354
OR THE MALLEABLE SIMPLETON
WHO CAN BE BOUGHT
183
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,357
FOR A FEW FASHION MAGAZINES?
184
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,026
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME
185
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,360
THAT YOU'VE SENT ME
THE WRONG SIZE.
186
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,070
I MEAN, I KNOW WHAT A FOUR
SHOULD FEEL LIKE,
187
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,405
I'VE BEEN A FOUR
MY WHOLE LIFE.
188
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,489
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU CAN GO TO HELL.
189
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,533
ALL RIGHT?
THANKS FOR NOTHING.
190
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,201
OH, MAN.
191
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,078
WHITE PEOPLE, RIGHT?
192
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,371
I DON'T KNOW
IF SHE WAS WHITE.
193
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,081
WELL, YOU CAN KIND OF TELL
FROM THE VOICE.
194
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,541
YEAH.
195
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,168
I BET YOU GET PULLED OVER
BY THE COPS A LOT,
196
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,669
JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR RACE.
197
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,296
WELL, THEY SAY
IT'S BECAUSE OF TEXTING,
198
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,048
BUT MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
199
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,382
AND I BET YOU GET PAID LESS
200
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,092
THAN A LOT OF YOUR
WHITE COUNTERPARTS.
201
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,385
THERE ARE COMPANIES
THAT WILL PAY
202
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,055
THEIR CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS
UP TO $13 AN HOUR.
203
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,557
OH, I GET PAID $17 AN HOUR.
204
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,559
FOR TALKING ON THE PHONE?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
205
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,770
A GOAT WITH A TAPE RECORDER
COULD--
206
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,440
I THINK YOU SHOULD
CONSIDER APPLYING
207
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,942
FOR THE EXECUTIVE
MINORITY TRAINING PROGRAM.
208
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,528
NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF
AS AN EXECUTIVE BEFORE.
209
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,364
I KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE
NO ROLE MODELS.
210
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,741
HOW MANY INDIAN CEOs
CAN YOU THINK OF?
211
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,410
I CAN'T THINK OF ANY CEOs,
ANY RACE.
212
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,454
YOU COULD BE
THE INDIAN BILL GATES.
213
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,416
YOU COULD BE
THE INDIAN TED TURNER.
214
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,629
I COULD BE THE INDIAN
JULIA ROBERTS.
215
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,507
THAT'S NOT--
SHE'S--OKAY.
216
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,008
YES.
217
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,094
I TOOK THE LIBERTY TO SCAN
A FEW THINGS EARLIER,
218
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,553
AND I WANT TO SHOW YOU--
219
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:51,596
THERE WE GO!
220
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,306
WHOA, LOOK AT THOSE
VIVID COLORS.
221
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,516
LOOK AT MY EYES.
222
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,351
THOSE ARE SHREK-GREEN EYES.
223
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,769
THAT IS ME AGAIN.
224
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,772
I THINK THIS DISPLAYS
THE CRISP, DAZZLING WHITE.
225
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,856
MM-HMM.
226
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,400
AND THAT WOULD BE A DISPLAY
227
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,943
OF THE CRISP,
GORGEOUS BLACK.
228
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:05,944
YEAH.
229
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,405
IT'S SUBTLE.
230
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,656
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.
231
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,491
I SHOW HER AN IMAGE
THAT TURNS HER ON.
232
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,576
AND THEN SHE LOOKS AT ME,
THEN SHE LOOKS AT THE IMAGE,
233
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,328
THEN BACK AT ME,
THEN BACK AT THE IMAGE.
234
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,996
SOON, SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT IS ME,
235
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,289
WHAT IS THE IMAGE.
236
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,458
SHE JUST KNOWS
THAT SHE'S TURNED ON.
237
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,419
THIS IS A PLACE
THAT I LIKE TO GO
238
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,379
TO BE ALONE
WITH MY THOUGHTS.
239
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,965
I'VE NEVER TAKEN ANYBODY
THERE BEFORE.
240
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,425
WHO TOOK THE PHOTO?
241
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,844
- RYAN.
- OH.
242
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,429
AND THAT'S IT.
243
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,682
THAT'S ME.
244
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,100
THAT'S WHO I AM.
245
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,310
NOT BAD.
246
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,438
- [giggles]
- OH, THANKS.
247
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,273
[softly]
YOU'RE NOT BAD, EITHER.
248
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,316
THANK YOU.
249
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,738
[clears throat]
250
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,741
OH, MY GOD.
251
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:56,411
JIM! COULD YOU
COME IN HERE FOR A SEC?
252
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,705
WHAT WAS THAT PRINTER
WE WERE LOOKING AT?
253
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:02,876
I DON'T KNOW.
254
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,502
I JUST DON'T SEE
WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.
255
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,503
SO I TRIED TO KISS SOMEBODY.
256
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,629
SO WE'RE IN A BUSINESS SETTING.
257
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,089
SO WHAT?
258
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,091
IS THAT SO INAPPROPRIATE?
259
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,010
YES. MAYBE.
260
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,304
IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
50 YEARS AGO.
261
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,805
"MAD MEN."
262
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,933
[pretending to smoke]
263
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,561
AHH!
264
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,313
YOU DIDN'T SEE IT, PAM.
265
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,273
SHE WAS GIVING ME
ALL SORTS OF SIGNALS
266
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,441
THAT SHE WANTED ME
TO MAKE A MOVE.
267
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,442
- SHORTBREAD?
- NO.
268
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,069
I'LL HAVE ONE.
269
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,363
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
TRY TO KISS PEOPLE AT WORK.
270
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,864
OH, REALLY, JIM?
271
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,032
WHAT ABOUT PAM?
272
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,159
AND YOU DID A HECK
OF A LOT MORE THAN KISS.
273
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,660
MAYBE THIS COULD BE MY PAM.
274
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,204
OKAY, WELL, ALL THAT
IS IRRELEVANT.
275
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,997
MAYBE MICHAEL HAS A POINT.
276
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:44,042
I MEAN, IF SHE WAS REALLY
THAT UPSET,
277
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,293
SHE WOULDN'T STILL BE HERE.
278
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,212
THANK YOU, PAM.
279
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,255
TEAM SHORTBREAD.
280
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,717
WAS IT PROFESSIONAL?
NO.
281
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,135
BUT I WORK IN THE NIGHTLIFE INDUSTRY.
282
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,845
I GET HIT ON ALL THE TIME.
283
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:59,057
IN MY 20s, IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN ANNOYING.
284
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,851
IN MY LATE 20s,
I FIND IT REALLY FLATTERING.
285
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,812
LOOK, I KNOW
THAT I SCREWED UP IN THERE.
286
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,855
I KNOW THAT I PROBABLY
MESSED UP YOUR SALE.
287
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,107
I JUST WANNA GO IN
AND FIX IT.
288
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,149
WHAT IF I BACK OUT,
289
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,901
AND YOU FINISH THE PITCH
WITH JIM?
290
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,319
WHAT?
291
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,612
TEAM SHORTBREAD!
292
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,822
I'M NOT EVEN ON
TEAM SHORTBREAD.
293
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,490
I'M TEAM SHORTBREAD
WITH HER.
294
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,991
ME AND HE ARE--
WE'RE TEAM SHORTBREAD.
295
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,076
- LISTEN TO TEAM SHORTBREAD.
- BUT YOU'RE COMING OUT OF--
296
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,954
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
297
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:21,830
WHAT WAS THAT?
298
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,081
JUST LET HIM FLIRT WITH HER.
299
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,833
PEOPLE MEET EACH OTHER
ALL SORTS OF WAYS.
300
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,418
PAM, YOU KNOW HE'S NOT
GONNA GET ANYWHERE,
301
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,711
AND HE'S GONNA
BLOW OUR SALE.
302
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,087
WHO CARES?
IT'S NOT THAT HUGE A SALE.
303
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,214
HEY, THE SCHWAB GUY
TOLD US TO TREAT EVERY SALE
304
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,716
LIKE IT WAS A HUGE SALE.
305
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,718
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU UNDERSTOOD
ANYTHING THAT GUY SAID.
306
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,972
GOOD LUCK, WINGMAN.
307
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,144
LET'S GO.
308
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:50,942
READING PEOPLE'S FACES
IS AN ARTFORM.
309
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,696
A BLIND PERSON CAN DO IT
JUST BY TOUCH.
310
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:59,451
A DEAF PERSON
CAN DO IT BY SIGHT.
311
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,787
A HEARING AND SIGHTED PERSON
CAN DO IT,
312
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,165
LIKE ME,
313
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,708
BY SIGHT.
314
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,043
SO, IF YOU DO A LOT OF FAXING
315
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,753
OR WANNA PRINT DOUBLE-SIDED
MENUS,
316
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,963
I CAN GUARANTEE YOU
A DEPENDABLE MACHINE
317
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,256
AND APPROPRIATE SUPPORT.
318
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,051
I'M--I'M NOT SURE
WE WANNA INVEST THAT MUCH.
319
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,762
I MEAN, OUR PRINTERS USUALLY
GET STOLEN BY BUS BOYS
320
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,388
AFTER A COUPLE MONTHS.
321
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,098
AHA, I SOLVED IT.
322
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,893
IT TWAS THE BUS BOY.
323
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,562
OH, MY GOD. I THOUGHT YOU
WERE FROM ENGLAND JUST THEN.
324
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,731
- DO THAT AGAIN.
- I'M ENGLISH MIKE.
325
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,525
- OOH. [laughs]
- YEAH, BABY! YEAH!
326
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,235
OH, MY GOD.
327
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,862
[both laugh]
328
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,489
DONNA AND I ARE VERY SIMILAR.
329
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,116
WE ARE TOUGH,
FROM THE STREETS.
330
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,118
NEVER TOOK A HANDOUT.
331
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,246
ALWAYS HAD TO PULL OURSELVES UP
FROM THE BOOB STRAPS.
332
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,664
I--
333
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,209
I CONSTANTLY SEE MYSELF IN HER.
334
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:52,629
ALL RIGHT, SO WE CAN'T
REALLY DO ANYTHING
335
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,214
ABOUT THE ACCENT.
336
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,674
I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT.
337
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,550
OH, YOU DO.
CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA.
338
00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:00,095
ALLENTOWN SUBURBS, MAYBE.
IT'S REALLY ANNOYING.
339
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:03,765
ANYWAY, HOW HAS BEING
A MINORITY AFFECTED YOU?
340
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,475
WELL, THERE'S A LOT OF
PRESSURE FROM MY PARENTS
341
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,769
TO SETTLE DOWN
AND MARRY AN INDIAN GUY.
342
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,854
OH, GOOD, AND YOU
RESENT THIS BECAUSE...
343
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,690
INDIAN GUYS ALWAYS
WEAR THEIR CELL PHONES
344
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,775
OUTSIDE THEIR PANTS.
IT'S SO DORKY.
345
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,610
OH, NO, NO.
THAT'S NOT DORKY.
346
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,654
LOOK, IT'S EASILY ACCESSIBLE.
347
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,781
BOOM, LIKE THIS.
911, HELLO.
348
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,157
SCRANTON STRANGLER'S
IN THE HOUSE.
349
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,660
INSIDE THE HOUSE.
350
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,245
JUST PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET.
351
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,122
THAT EXTRA THREE SECONDS
IT'S GONNA TAKE
352
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,998
TO PULL YOUR PHONE OUT
COULD GET YOU KILLED.
353
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,711
ANYWAY, NEVER MIND.
LISTEN, SO,
354
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,505
YOU HAVE A TERRIBLE PERSONALITY
AND AN AWFUL WORK ETHIC.
355
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:39,009
MAYBE WE CAN COBBLE
SOMETHING TOGETHER
356
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:43,847
FROM THE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL
YOU FELT BEING AN INDIAN.
357
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,765
OH, EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS
THAT I WANNA BE A DOCTOR.
358
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,891
I DON'T WANNA BE A DOCTOR.
359
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,728
I BARELY EVEN BELIEVE
IN MEDICINE.
360
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,980
I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST YOUR ACCENT.
361
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,189
SOMETIMES THAT'S ALL
I CAN HEAR.
362
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,359
THE REST JUST SOUNDS
LIKE GIBBERISH.
363
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,319
[indistinct chatter]
364
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,446
LOOK AT THAT.
365
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,489
SHE'S TOTALLY
FLIRTING WITH HIM.
366
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,824
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
367
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,744
SOME PEOPLE CAN'T HELP
OOZING SEXUALITY.
368
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,121
YOU EVER NOTICE YOU CAN
ONLY OOZE TWO THINGS:
369
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,081
SEXUALITY AND PUS.
370
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,374
MAN, I TELL YA.
371
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,209
HOW DO I FIND OUT
IF A GIRL'S INTERESTED?
372
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,128
GREAT QUESTION.
373
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,547
I USUALLY JUST ASSUME
THAT THEY'RE NOT.
374
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,092
IT'S EASIER
THAN IT USED TO BE.
375
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,012
IF A LADY IS INTERESTED,
SHE'LL SEND ME A WINK.
376
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,514
AND THEN I'LL SEND BACK
AN E-FLIRT.
377
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,099
AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT,
378
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,476
I BLOCK HER.
379
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,227
SHE'S WAY OUT
OF HIS LEAGUE.
380
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,646
IT'D BE LIKE ME GOING
FOR SEAN HANNITY.
381
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,609
SHE JUST LAUGHED.
I THINK THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
382
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,444
MAYBE HE JUST TOLD
A FUNNY JOKE.
383
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,737
I THINK IT'S A GOOD SIGN.
384
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:41,905
HE'S BEEN IN THERE
FOR 20 MINUTES.
385
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,782
HE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN
TO THIRD BASE.
386
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,658
THERE'S A THIRD BASE?
387
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,411
BASEBALL? REALLY?
388
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:52,332
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS BASED
ON ORCHESTRA CHAIRS.
389
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:53,416
AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME
390
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,959
THERE'S A THIRD BASE
IN THE ORCHESTRA.
391
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,837
NO. THAT'S A BASS-HEAVY
ORCHESTRA.
392
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,048
SHE JUST CROSSED HER ARMS
TOGETHER--THAT'S BAD.
393
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,883
MAYBE SHE'S JUST
PUSHING HER BREASTS TOGETHER
394
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,885
TO MAKE THEM LOOK BIGGER.
395
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,475
LIKE THAT?
396
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,894
IS THIS--IS THIS THE BEST
YOU CAN DO RIGHT THERE?
397
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,312
UH, FOR THAT PRINTER, YES.
398
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,648
UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF FLEXIBILITY.
399
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,108
OH.
400
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,318
WELL, I GUESS I'M JUST
USED TO THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS,
401
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,695
WHERE, IF YOU'RE IN CHARGE,
402
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,530
THEN YOU CAN ALWAYS
GET DISCOUNTS
403
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,781
FOR THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE.
404
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,491
[Jim chuckles]
405
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,785
SO MAYBE WE COULD FIND
A LITTLE WIGGLE ROOM, RIGHT?
406
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,078
WHAT'S THAT?
407
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,913
MAYBE WE FIND
SOME WIGGLE ROOM?
408
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,248
I DON'T--
I DON'T THINK SO.
409
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,499
I THINK WE COULD.
410
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,085
[giggles]
411
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,837
I DON'T SEE HOW WE COULD
POSSIBLY SELL THESE
412
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,630
FOR THAT LITTLE
WITHOUT LOSING MONEY.
413
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,382
DELIVERY ALONE WILL COST--
414
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,675
OKAY, WELL, SOMETIMES--
415
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,219
SOMETIMES IT MAKES
FINANCIAL SENSE
416
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,470
TO LOSE MONEY, RIGHT?
417
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,014
LIKE FOR TAX PURPOSES.
418
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,224
ACTUALLY,
RAN THE NUMBERS ON THIS,
419
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,809
AND IN THIS CASE, IT MAKES
MORE FINANCIAL SENSE
420
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,102
TO GAIN MONEY.
421
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,270
WHY DON'T YOU
RUN THEM AGAIN.
422
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,438
WHAT IF SHE'S
JUST FLIRTING WITH YOU
423
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,605
TO GET A BETTER PRICE?
424
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,940
IF SHE IS, IT'S WORKING.
425
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,192
YEAH, MICHAEL,
HERE'S A TRICK.
426
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,278
AS HER IF SHE WANTS
A MINT.
427
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,198
IF SHE SAYS NO,
THEN SHE IS NOT INTERESTED.
428
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,034
SHE DOES NOT LIKE HIM.
429
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,494
YOU CAN FLIRT WITH SOMEONE
TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
430
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,455
AND ALSO
BE ATTRACTED TO THEM.
431
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,290
HOW DO YOU THINK
WE GOT TOGETHER?
432
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,292
'CAUSE I STOPPED BY YOUR DESK
LIKE 15 TIMES A DAY.
433
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,793
I WAS AFTER YOUR MONEY.
434
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,128
WELL, THE JOKE WAS ON YOU.
435
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,713
YES, IT WAS.
436
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,007
SO, KELLY KAPOOR IS APPLYING
437
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,508
TO THE MINORITY TRAINING PROGRAM.
438
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,010
- YEP.
- STRONG CHOICE.
439
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,347
SHE IS AS SMART
AS SHE IS TALENTED.
440
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,223
YEAH, I NEVER REALLY
THOUGHT OF KELLY
441
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,976
- AS EXECUTIVE MATERIAL.
- NO, NOR SHOULD YOU.
442
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,311
I MEAN, SHE'S INDIAN.
443
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:39,272
BET YOU CAN'T NAME
A SINGLE INDIAN CEO.
444
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,107
VIKRAM PANDIT.
445
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,233
SARIA MAHAPATRA.
446
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,735
DINESH PALIWAL.
447
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,987
- INDRA NOOYI.
- YEAH, THAT'S SO INTERESTING
448
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,989
THAT YOU COULDN'T NAME
A SINGLE INDIAN WOMAN.
449
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,491
INDRA NOOYI'S A WOMAN.
450
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,034
SHE'S THE HEAD OF PEPSI.
451
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,994
SOFT DRINK AIN'T PAPER, GABE.
452
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,829
NOW NAME ONE SIGNIFICANT
453
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,956
PAPER COMPANY CEO
THAT'S INDIAN.
454
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,125
JUST ONE,
AND I'M OUT OF YOUR HAIR.
455
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,835
- NEESHA DAS.
- NAME TWO.
456
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,004
JUST TWO OF 'EM.
457
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,673
CAN YOU STOP MICROMANAGING?
458
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,549
- I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.
- OKAY.
459
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:07,926
HEY...
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
460
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,344
THIS GIRLS WAS REALLY
RUDE TO ME AT THE MALL.
461
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,137
SO I CREATED
A FAKE I.M. ACCOUNT
462
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,389
FROM A HOT GUY
AT HER HIGH SCHOOL,
463
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,015
AND NOW I'M TRYING
TO MAKE HER ANOREXIC.
464
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,684
TELL HER EVERYONE IN HOME ROOM
THINKS SHE'S FAT.
465
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,352
OH, THAT IS SO GOOD.
466
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,270
YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD KEEP
PRACTICING FOR THIS INTERVIEW.
467
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,980
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
RYAN COACHED ME.
468
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,774
RYAN?
WHAT DOES HE KNOW?
469
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,068
IT'S EASY--YOU JUST TURN
EVERY QUESTION AROUND ON THEM.
470
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,069
DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE TREATED DIFFERENTLY
471
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,487
BECAUSE OF YOUR RACE?
472
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,698
WOULD YOU ASK THAT SAME
QUESTION IF I WAS WHITE?
473
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,074
WE'RE SO IN.
474
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:31,950
"WE"?
475
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:32,992
WHEN I BECOME EXECUTIVE,
476
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,327
I'M GONNA MAKE RYAN MANAGER.
477
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:37,330
AND THEN THE TWO OF US
ARE CLEANING HOUSE.
478
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:40,000
KELLY WILL BE EVEN WORSE
THAN DARRYL.
479
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,376
IF YOU'D HAVE
TOLD ME THIS MORNING
480
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,003
THAT TODAY I'D BE
CREATING A MONSTER
481
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,005
CAPABLE OF MY OWN DESTRUCTION,
482
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,339
I'D HAVE THOUGHT
YOU WERE REFERRING
483
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,967
TO THE BULL MOSE AND I
ARE TRYING TO REANIMATE.
484
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:54,931
THERE SHE IS.
485
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,558
WHY DON'T YOU LET ME
JUST GO IN AND MONITOR.
486
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,226
MM-MM.
I'LL BE FINE.
487
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,811
I'LL BE FINE.
I CAN CONTROL MYSELF.
488
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,438
- YOU CAN'T, ACTUALLY.
- YES, I CAN.
489
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,481
I NEED TO FIND OUT,
OR ELSE I'LL NEVER KNOW.
490
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,860
- YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
- YES, I DO. OKAY.
491
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:09,237
SO CORPORATE APPROVAL
OF THIS CONTRACT
492
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,573
IS CONTINGENT UPON
BUYER AND SELLER...
493
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,701
- MM-HMM.
- OBTAINING BLAHDY BLAHDY BLAH.
494
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,911
BOILERPLATE.
POUND OF FISH.
495
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,080
- JUST KIDDING.
- [laughing]
496
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,499
YEAH, HER WORDS ARE
TELLING ME TO BACK OFF.
497
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:25,587
BUT HER EYES, AND HER SMILE
AND HER OVERALL VIBE
498
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,589
IS TELLING ME TO GO FOR IT.
499
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,799
AND I JUST THINK IT'S UNFAIR
500
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,594
THAT OUR SOCIETY
PUTS MORE WEIGHT ON WORDS
501
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,346
THAN ON SOMEBODY'S VIBE.
502
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,430
DO YOU LIKE MINTS?
503
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:36,723
YES.
504
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,558
I CARRY MINTS WITH ME SOMETIMES.
505
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,101
- YOU EVER TRIED THOSE?
- OH, I HAVEN'T TRIED THOSE.
506
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,644
- NO.
- THEY'RE GOOD.
507
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,147
YOU WANT ONE?
508
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,440
SURE.
509
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:49,361
IT'S LIKE COOL...
"CERTIFIED COOL."
510
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,113
I LIKE HOW THEY SAY
"CERTIFIED."
511
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:57,160
LIKE THERE'S
SOME CONSORTIUM OF...
512
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,745
MICHAEL!
513
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,872
[whispering] I'M SORRY.
514
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,415
I CAN'T STOP MYSELF
FROM KISSING HER.
515
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,000
YEAH, NOW YOU KNOW
HOW I FEEL
516
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,836
SITTING NEXT
TO THOSE M&Ms ALL DAY.
517
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,713
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
MOVE THE M&Ms?
518
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,090
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
SHUT UP!
519
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,383
OKAY, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS.
520
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,134
JUST TELL ME
IT'S NOT TOTALLY INSANE
521
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,220
- TO TRY ONE MORE TIME.
- IT IS TOTALLY INSANE.
522
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,806
MICHAEL, HE'S RIGHT.
YOU ARE TURNING INTO A STALKER.
523
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,058
OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
524
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,476
I THINK IT'S OVER, MAN.
525
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,478
ANDY?
526
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,146
EHH.
527
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,648
OKAY, SOME FOR,
SOME AGAINST.
528
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,108
- NOBODY'S FOR.
- PAM?
529
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,859
- HMM?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
530
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,736
UM...
531
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,238
I THINK IT'S REALLY,
REALLY UNLIKELY.
532
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,157
- OKAY.
- REALLY UNLIKELY.
533
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,826
BUT I CAN'T SAY
THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
534
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,160
WHAT?
535
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,162
I'M NOT SAYING
SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HIM.
536
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,415
BUT SHE COULD HAVE LEFT
A WHILE AGO.
537
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,083
MOST PRINTER SALES
ARE DONE OVER THE PHONE,
538
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,127
MS. BOOB SHIRT.
539
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,753
I'M GOING WITH PAM'S GROUP.
540
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,171
WAIT.
541
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,840
- HERE WE GO.
- MICHAEL.
542
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,174
- MICHAEL.
- OKAY.
543
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,176
- MICHAEL.
- NO, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS.
544
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:58,304
GUYS, JUST--
THANK YOU FOR TALKING.
545
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,390
- WISH ME LUCK.
- NO.
546
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:02,267
WHAT SORT OF MOVIE
WOULD RUDY HAVE BEEN
547
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,477
IF HE HAD JUST STOPPED,
GIVEN UP,
548
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:07,897
AFTER TWO REJECTIONS?
549
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,441
WOULD HAVE BEEN
A LOT SHORTER.
550
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,317
PROBABLY BEEN
A LOT FUNNIER.
551
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,904
BUT IT WOULD HAVE ULTIMATELY
BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT.
552
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,406
I STILL WOULD HAVE SEEN IT,
553
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:19,701
BUT THAT'S NOT...
554
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:21,244
THE POINT.
555
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,708
- KELLY IS DISQUALIFIED!
- WHAT?
556
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,793
YOU SAID THE PROGRAM
IS NOT OPEN TO CAUCASIANS.
557
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,420
WELL...
558
00:19:30,462 --> 00:19:32,630
ANTHROPOLOGICALLY,
SHE IS INDIAN.
559
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,592
INDIANS MIGRATED FROM
THE CAUCUSES REGION OF EUROPE.
560
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,969
THEREFORE, TECHNICALLY,
SHE IS CAUCASIAN.
561
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,304
YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA.
562
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,930
YEAH, BUT SHE'S NOT
WHITE, THOUGH.
563
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,183
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
SHE IS BROWNISH.
564
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,809
BUT, COME ON, I MEAN,
565
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,269
DARRYL IS FAR MORE ETHNIC.
566
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:47,979
DARRYL WITHDREW
HIS APPLICATION.
567
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,731
HE SAID THE YALE PROGRAM
568
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:52,442
INTERFERED WITH HIS
SOFTBALL LEAGUE, SO--
569
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:53,818
HE'S GONE.
570
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,363
I GOT MY WHOLE LIFE TO BE
A MINORITY EXECUTIVE.
571
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:59,240
I ONLY HAVE ABOUT A YEAR LEFT
IN THESE KNEES, THOUGH.
572
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,825
SO KELLY IS THE ONLY APPLICANT.
573
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,661
YEAH, UNLESS SOMEBODY ELSE
APPLIES TODAY.
574
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,746
NAMASTE.
575
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,541
OH, DEAR GOD.
576
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,002
OKAY.
577
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,337
DON'T MAKE ANY DECISIONS
JUST YET.
578
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,047
OKAY? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
579
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,050
HELLO.
580
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,802
THAT'S VERY NICE.
581
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:19,969
I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE.
582
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:21,721
SOMETIMES MY BANGS
COVER IT.
583
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,307
YEAH. I DON'T WANT
TO BE OFFENSIVE BUT, UH,
584
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,600
MAY I ASK YOU
WHAT THAT MEANS?
585
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,686
I DO FIND THAT OFFENSIVE, ACTUALLY.
586
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,691
WE SHOULD HAVE YOUR CONTRACT
DONE BY THURSDAY.
587
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,317
OH, GREAT.
588
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,902
GREAT, I WILL LOOK OUT
FOR THAT STUFF, THEN.
589
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,238
- OKAY.
- AND, UM...
590
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,949
YOU KNOW, I JUST WANTED
TO SAY IT WAS REALLY...
591
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,534
REALLY NICE
TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.
592
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,203
YEAH, IT WAS NICE TO DO
BUSINESS WITH YOU, TOO.
593
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,747
THANK YOU.
594
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,958
DID I...GET EVERYTHING?
595
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,126
I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK SO.
596
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,336
YEAH, I THINK SO.
597
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:54,504
[whispers] OKAY.
598
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,718
- SO--OH, DONNA?
- YEAH?
599
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,052
DO YOU NEED VALIDATION?
600
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,554
WE DON'T--
WE DON'T VALIDATE.
601
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,305
NO, IT'S
JUST IN THE LOT, SO...
602
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,641
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
603
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,893
YOU'RE...WELCOME.
604
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,186
- MMM.
- [giggles]
605
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:12,856
BYE.
606
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,735
AHEM. SO, UM...
607
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,028
OKAY, IF YOU HAVE--
608
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,696
IF THERE'S ANY OTHER
QUESTIONS THAT YOU HAVE...
609
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:23,950
I DON'T HAVE, UH,
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS.
610
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,910
[blind clanking]
I'M JUST GONNA...
611
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,163
MAKE MY WAY DOWN TO--
612
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,706
ALL RIGHT. BYE.
613
00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:30,999
BYE-BYE!
614
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:32,167
AND HAVE A GOOD
ELEVATOR RIDE.
615
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,461
OKAY.
616
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,713
OH, WHAT'S THAT OUT THERE?
617
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,678
MICHAEL, HOW DID IT GO?
618
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,058
OKAY, FINALLY.
619
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,602
THAT BARTENDER WOULD NOT LEAVE.
620
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:53,646
HOW WOULD ONE OF YOU FEEL
621
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:56,066
IF I TOLD YOU I COULD
PUT YOU ON A FAST TRACK
622
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:58,193
TO AN EXECUTIVE POSITION
AT THIS COMPANY?
623
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,236
HOLY COW.
I'D BE SO HAPPY.
624
00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,155
I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU,
PALE FACE.
625
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,907
I KNOW. I MEANT
I'D BE HAPPY FOR THEM.
626
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,951
WHAT I'M OFFERING
IS A TICKET ON A BULLET TRAIN
627
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,161
STRAIGHT TO MIDDLE MANAGEMENT.
628
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,455
DWIGHT,
I KNOW THESE PROGRAMS.
629
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:13,166
"EVERY COLOR IS IMPORTANT
BECAUSE, TOGETHER,
630
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,668
WE MAKE A RAINBOW."
631
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:15,919
YES.
632
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,170
I'LL SLAP YOU IN THE FACE
WITH A RAINBOW.
633
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:18,963
MM!
634
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,090
SPEAKING OF RAINBOWS,
635
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,508
OSCAR...
636
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:24,052
YOU ARE KIND OF
A DOUBLE MINORITY.
637
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,679
GAY.
638
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,306
SO WE AT SABRE COULD REALLY
BENEFIT FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
639
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:32,018
DWIGHT, WE KNOW
KELLY APPLIED.
640
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:33,478
WE'RE NOT GONNA CROSS HER.
641
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,230
NO MATTER HOW GOOD
THE PROGRAM IS.
642
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:36,940
I CAN PROTECT YOU
FROM KELLY.
643
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,149
[Erin stifles laugh]
644
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:39,776
WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?
SERIOUSLY.
645
00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:42,362
ARE WE SCARED OF KELLY?
[both chuckle]
646
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:45,323
- THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- RIGHT.
647
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,742
OH, IT'S JUST A MATTER
OF RESPECT, THAT'S ALL.
648
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:49,536
WE'RE NOT SCARED.
649
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:55,375
FOR HOBBIES, UM,
YOGA, BELLY DANCING,
650
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,751
SNAKE CHARMING.
651
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,753
BEDS OF NAILS,
I LIKE LYING ON THEM.
652
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,505
WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
653
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:03,049
THIS IS HIDETOSHI HASAGAWA.
654
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,342
HE WOULD LIKE TO APPLY FOR
655
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:05,719
THE SABRE MINORITY
EXECUTIVE TRAINING PROGRAM
656
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,178
"PRINT IN ALL COLORS"
INITIATIVE.
657
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,346
DWIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
658
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,015
HELPING HEAL AMERICA
659
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,016
IN A DRAMATIC FASHION
660
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:12,392
IN THE 11TH HOUR.
661
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,310
NO, I WOULDN'T SAY
HE WAS MY FIRST CHOICE.
662
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:16,354
MY FIRST CHOICE WAS OSCAR,
THEN STANLEY,
663
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:19,441
THEN CALVIN, DANNY,
ALFONSO, HASSAN,
664
00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:22,986
TAD, DIEGO, GREG P.,
GREG M., DEMETRIOUS,
665
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:25,071
AND HANK THE SECURITY GUARD.
666
00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,032
GOD, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
667
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:30,201
CAUCASIANS, AM I RIGHT?
668
00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:31,619
HAVE A SEAT.
I'LL TRANSLATE.
669
00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:33,580
WHY?
I DON'T NEED TRANSLATOR.
670
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,790
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU NEED. JUST...
671
00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,501
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF, HIDE.
672
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:47,010
[sighs]
673
00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:02,233
HEY, MICHAEL.
HOW YOU DOING?
674
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,402
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
675
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:05,820
CAN'T REALLY TRUST
MY FEELINGS ANYMORE.
676
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:08,073
- COULD YOU EVER?
- I THOUGHT SO.
677
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,699
MAYBE NOT.
678
00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:11,409
YOU MIGHT ALL WANNA
BE HAVING SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW
679
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:12,744
AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
680
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:13,870
- NOT AT ALL.
- NOT AT ALL.
681
00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:15,163
- DO NOT.
- PLEASE.
682
00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:17,082
YOU KNOW WHAT, MICHAEL?
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH...
683
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:18,750
I WAS WRONG, TOO.
684
00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:20,043
I THOUGHT SHE WAS
INTERESTED IN YOU.
685
00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:21,252
SHE SUCKERED YOU TOO.
686
00:24:21,294 --> 00:24:22,295
MM-HMM.
687
00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,463
WAS IT THE CLEAVAGE?
688
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,131
YEAH,
AND THE SHOULDER CUTOUTS.
689
00:24:25,173 --> 00:24:26,925
- YEP.
- MICHAEL, YOU KNOW,
690
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,259
IT'S EASY TO GET FOOLED.
691
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:30,637
BOB'S WAREHOUSE GUYS
FLIRT WITH ME ALL THE TIME.
692
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,597
IT--IT'S MOSTLY HARMLESS.
693
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,724
USUALLY I DON'T LET IT
GO TOO FAR.
694
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:37,602
MICHAEL, I FLIRT WITH OSCAR SOMETIMES
695
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,562
WHEN I WANT HIM TO DO
SOMETHING FOR ME.
696
00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:40,814
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?
697
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:43,775
I DON'T FIND YOU EVEN REMOTELY ATTRACTIVE.
698
00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:45,944
YOU KNOW,
WHEN I TORE MY SCROTE,
699
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,779
I WAS, UH...
700
00:24:47,821 --> 00:24:50,198
I WAS SEEING THIS REALLY
HOT UROLOGIST ABOUT IT,
701
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,950
AND THOUGHT
SHE WAS INTO ME.
702
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:54,911
BUT NOW I THINK SHE WAS JUST
DOING A BUNCH OF STUFF
703
00:24:54,953 --> 00:24:56,121
TO BILL MY HMO.
704
00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:57,580
YOU KNOW...
705
00:24:57,622 --> 00:24:59,040
SHE'S TOUCHING AROUND
DOWN THERE.
706
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,834
IT'S EASY TO GET CONFUSED.
707
00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:03,003
I FELT LIKE AN IDIOT
BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE
708
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:04,796
I WAS BEING USED.
709
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:06,339
BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE
IN THIS OFFICE
710
00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:08,008
HAVE BEEN IN THE EXACT
SAME POSITION.
711
00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:10,719
AND IF I'M AN IDIOT,
712
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,470
THEN THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS
AS WELL.
713
00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:14,848
AND I HIRED THEM,
WHICH MAKES ME AN IDIOT,
714
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:16,307
WHICH I'M NOT.
715
00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,018
JUST ASK ANYBODY OUT THERE.
716
00:25:18,059 --> 00:25:19,811
MICHAEL, I THINK DONNA
LEFT THIS HERE.
717
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,646
SHOULD I PUT IT IN
THE LOST AND FOUND FOR 14 DAYS
718
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:22,856
AND THEN I CAN
TAKE IT HOME?
719
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:25,358
GOD.
720
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,860
- SHE LEFT THIS HERE?
- YEAH.
721
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,862
OKAY.
722
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:31,614
MAYBE SHE WANTS ME TO RETURN
THIS TO HER AT HER WORK.
723
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:33,491
WHAT?
all: NO.
724
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,744
YEAH.
THIS COULD BE A SIGNAL.
725
00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,620
PEOPLE DON'T JUST
TAKE BARRETTES OFF.
726
00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:39,164
IT'S NOT A SIGNAL.
727
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:40,331
IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE.
728
00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:41,583
NO, IT'S NOT EVEN
A COINCIDENCE.
729
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:42,959
IT'S JUST SOMETHING
THAT HAPPENED.
730
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,337
YOU'RE SO RIGHT, OSCAR.
731
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:46,671
- MICHAEL...
- WELL...
732
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:48,798
SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU
TO RETURN THE BARRETTE.
733
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,550
SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.
734
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:53,428
YEAH, I KNOW.
I KNOW.
735
00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:55,430
- I'M SORRY.
- I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.
736
00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:56,639
THANK YOU.
737
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,183
THANKS, EVERYBODY.
738
00:25:58,224 --> 00:25:59,934
[clears throat]
739
00:25:59,976 --> 00:26:01,853
WELL--
740
00:26:01,895 --> 00:26:03,396
MICHAEL!
741
00:26:03,438 --> 00:26:04,731
[sighs]
742
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:12,614
MICHAEL!
743
00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:16,117
OH. YOU'RE STILL HERE.
744
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:19,120
I HAVE YOUR BAGUETTE.
745
00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:20,538
EVERYONE,
746
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,791
IT IS MY PLEASURE
TO ANNOUNCE OUR NEWEST MEMBER
747
00:26:22,832 --> 00:26:25,210
OF THE SABRE MINORITY
EXECUTIVE TRAINING PROGRAM,
748
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:28,046
KELLY RAJANIGANDHA KAPOOR.
749
00:26:28,088 --> 00:26:29,089
[clapping]
750
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,507
ALL RIGHT.
751
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,801
THEY'RE GOING TO BE
PRETTY PLEASED IN TALLAHASSEE
752
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:35,136
THAT I SNAGGED AN INDIAN
FOR THE PROGRAM.
753
00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:36,179
SHE'LL BE THE FIRST.
754
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,389
THE PROGRAM'S MOSTLY BLACK.
755
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:40,475
IT'S ALMOST TOO BLACK.
756
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:43,019
THAT DIDN'T SOUND RIGHT.
757
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:46,106
AND THE BEST PART IS
IS THAT I GET A BUSINESS STIPEND
758
00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:47,607
TO BUY ALL NEW CLOTHES.
759
00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:49,734
SO YOU CAN TOTALLY BUY
ANY OF MY OLD CLOTHES
760
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:50,777
THAT I'M NOT GONNA
NEED ANYMORE.
761
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:51,903
OH, MY GOD,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
762
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,738
I LOVE THAT DENIM JUMPSUIT
YOU HAVE.
763
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:54,989
- HOW MUCH?
- OH.
764
00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:56,533
ACTUALLY, I WAS
THINKING ABOUT CLOTHES
765
00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,076
THAT I WAS JUST GONNA
GIVE TO GOODWILL ANYWAY.
766
00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:59,285
GREAT.
767
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:01,413
HEY, KIDDO.
768
00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:03,373
CONGRATULATIONS
ARE IN ORDER.
769
00:27:03,415 --> 00:27:04,916
YOU DESERVE IT.
770
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:10,380
- THANK YOU, DWIGHT.
- OH.
771
00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:12,549
I'LL NEVER FORGET EVERYTHING
THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME.
772
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:14,300
GOSH.
[chuckles]
773
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:16,720
BECAUSE I NEVER
FORGET ANYTHING.
774
00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,182
JUST ONCE, I WOULD
LIKE TO BE A PUPPET MASTER
775
00:27:21,224 --> 00:27:22,559
AND HAVE NOTHING GO WRONG.
776
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,602
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
777
00:27:24,644 --> 00:27:26,354
YOU KNOW WHAT?
EVERYBODY TOLD ME
778
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:27,522
THAT YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED.
779
00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:29,190
EVERYBODY.
780
00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:32,193
AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE 'EM.
781
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:35,280
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
782
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,823
SO...
783
00:27:36,865 --> 00:27:39,159
THERE'S YOUR BARRETTE.
784
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,287
NO, Y-YOU WERE...RIGHT.
785
00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:43,329
WHO?
786
00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,206
YOU WERE RIGHT.
787
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:47,083
ABOUT WHAT?
788
00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:48,877
YOU WERE RIGHT.
789
00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:56,176
I'M SORRY.
790
00:27:56,217 --> 00:27:57,218
NO, NO. NO.
791
00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:59,596
- I'M SOR--
- NO.
792
00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:05,018
WHAT HAPPENED?
793
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:07,270
KELLY GOT INTO THE MINORITY
TRAINING PROGRAM.
794
00:28:07,312 --> 00:28:09,147
REALLY?
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
795
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:10,315
THAT'S SUCH GOOD NEWS.
796
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:12,859
I DID IT!
797
00:28:12,901 --> 00:28:14,319
I KISSED.
WE KISSED.
798
00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:15,320
- OOH.
- OH, MICHAEL.
799
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:17,155
NO, I'M SERIOUS. IT...
800
00:28:17,197 --> 00:28:18,448
THIS HAPPENED.
801
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:20,241
I WENT DOWN
TO THE PARKING LOT
802
00:28:20,283 --> 00:28:22,702
AND I WAS--I RETURNED
HER BARRETTE.
803
00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,625
WE KI...
804
00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:30,210
WE DID. OKAY.
805
00:28:30,251 --> 00:28:31,753
WE DID.
WE DID.
806
00:28:31,795 --> 00:28:33,338
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
807
00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:35,215
BECAUSE I KNOW IT HAPPENED.
808
00:28:35,256 --> 00:28:37,133
AND THAT IS ALL THAT COUNTS.
809
00:28:38,802 --> 00:28:40,303
[shouts]
I DID DO IT!
810
00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:45,809
I DON'T KNOW.
THEY'RE PLAYING FRISBEE.
811
00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,352
- THAT'S OKAY.
- IT SEEMS DWEEBY TO ME.
812
00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:48,770
- NO, NO, IT'LL BE FUN.
- HEY, RY GUY,
813
00:28:48,812 --> 00:28:50,313
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.
814
00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:51,564
FOR WHAT THIS TIME?
815
00:28:51,606 --> 00:28:53,566
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S GONNA BE
AN IVY LEAGUER.
816
00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:55,276
- YES.
- YOU KNOW, I KINDA WISH
817
00:28:55,318 --> 00:28:56,778
IT WAS HARVARD, THOUGH,
'CAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE
818
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,905
EXACTLY LIKE "LEGALLY BLONDE."
819
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:00,782
- WHAT'S YALE'S MASCOT, ANYWAY?
- A BULLDOG
820
00:29:00,824 --> 00:29:02,242
NAMED HANDSOME DAN.
821
00:29:02,283 --> 00:29:03,952
A BULLDOG?
822
00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:05,787
OH, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL
I'M GONNA BE ASSOCIATED
823
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:07,330
- WITH AN UGLY, OLD BULLDOG.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY.
824
00:29:07,372 --> 00:29:09,040
PEOPLE DON'T ACTUALLY WEAR
THE CLOTHES
825
00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:12,419
- FROM THEIR SCHOOL ANYWAY.
- UH, HELLO? GUESS AGAIN.
826
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:15,088
- LA DA DA!
- [chuckles]
827
00:29:15,130 --> 00:29:17,298
- OKAY, COOL.
- HUP!
828
00:29:17,340 --> 00:29:18,508
BOOM.
829
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:21,302
AND WAIT FOR IT.
[giggles]
830
00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:23,054
- BOOM. AH!
- WHOA.
831
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,641
AH, I GAVE MYSELF
A FRONT WEDGIE.
832
00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:28,935
WILL YOU MAKE SURE
TO COME AND VISIT ME?
833
00:29:28,977 --> 00:29:30,145
I CAN'T MAKE IT.
834
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:31,104
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU CAN'T MAKE IT?
835
00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:32,981
I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU THE DATES.
836
00:29:33,023 --> 00:29:34,190
I'M SORRY.
WHAT ARE THE DATES?
837
00:29:34,232 --> 00:29:35,483
NO, YOU JUST SAID
YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT,
838
00:29:35,525 --> 00:29:37,027
AND I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU
WHAT THE DATES ARE.
839
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:38,445
AH, SCROTE'S STILL TENDER.
I'M SORRY.
840
00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:40,280
ANDY WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE
A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
841
00:29:40,321 --> 00:29:42,490
- ANDY, CAN WE PLEASE?
- I'M SORRY.
842
00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:43,950
I'M NOT A LIAR.
843
00:29:43,992 --> 00:29:45,410
- YES, YOU ARE.
- NO, I'M NOT.
844
00:29:45,452 --> 00:29:48,913
IT'S--I DON'T ALWAYS
KNOW THE TRUTH UNTIL I'M IN IT.
845
00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:50,832
ARE YOU SURE?
846
00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,168
- NO.
- [sighs]
847
00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:56,880
[upbeat music]
848
00:29:56,921 --> 00:30:04,054
♪ ♪
59145
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