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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,845 [grunting] OKAY... 2 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,723 BREATHE. WORK YOUR CORE! 3 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,307 [straining] 4 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,809 COME ON. 5 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,935 HOW MANY IS THAT? 6 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,645 NOT COUNTING THE LAST ONE, 25. 7 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,813 COUNT THE LAST ONE. 8 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,481 OKAY, 25 AND ONE GIRL PUSH-UP. 9 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,692 - OH, NEW RECORD! - OKAY. 10 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,987 - OH, WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? - I MADE A SALE. 11 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,364 OH, YEAH, SITTING ON YOUR BIG, FAT BUTT. 12 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,534 ALL RIGHT, THAT IS THE NUMBER TO BEAT. 13 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,618 WHAT DO WE GET IF WE DO 'EM? 14 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:39,789 MY RESPECT. 15 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,167 OKAY, I'LL MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING. 16 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,918 ANYONE WHO DOES MORE THAN 25 PUSH-UPS... 17 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:44,961 AND ONE GIRL PUSH-UP. 18 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,796 GETS TO GO HOME. 19 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:51,009 - OOH! - OOH... 20 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,470 I SAY, "DANCE," THEY SAY, "HOW HIGH?" 21 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,679 THREE, FOUR... 22 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,931 HERE WE GO. OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 23 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,184 - BUTT TOO HIGH. DISQUALIFIED! - OW. 24 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,352 WHAT DO WE GOT? CREED, DISQUALIFIED. 25 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,353 OH, COME ON! 26 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,605 19... 27 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,483 [groans] 28 00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,526 I HAD A REALLY HARD WORKOUT THIS MORNING. 29 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,528 [straining] 30 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:14,532 OH, WOW, THAT IS ADORABLE! 31 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,868 - TEN. - YEAH! 32 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,746 I'M BETTING...ONE MORE. 33 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,373 11. 34 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,708 WOW! 35 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,418 GOOD. 36 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,296 [all chanting] STANLEY! STANLEY! STANLEY... 37 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,131 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 38 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,884 STANLEY! STANLEY! STANLEY... 39 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,386 ESSENTIALLY, WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS 40 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,389 IS ONE OF THOSE STORIES WHERE A MOTHER LIFTS A CAR 41 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,099 TO SAVE HER BABY. 42 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,059 WELL, IT'S NOT EXACTLY FAIR. 43 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,479 HE'S GOT ALL OF HIS WEIGHT THAT'S HELPING HIM GO DOWN. 44 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,314 25. YEAH! 45 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,191 YEAH, COME ON. YOU CAN DO IT! 46 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,567 COME ON, STANLEY, LET'S DO IT, COME ON. 47 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:54,489 [cheers and applause] 48 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,537 VERY NICELY DONE. 49 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,956 YOU OKAY, STANLEY? 50 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,958 EXCUSE ME. 51 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,882 WOW. 52 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,468 ALL RIGHT, PAPA BEAR. 53 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,903 {\an8}[cheerful music] 54 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:41,077 {\an8}♪ ♪ 55 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,884 [horn honks] 56 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,011 HEY. 57 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,220 MATT, RIGHT? 58 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,097 HEY, OSCAR. YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 59 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,808 [chuckles] I ALWAYS COME IN AT 7:00. 60 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,809 NO, YOU DON'T. 61 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,353 WELL... 62 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,189 HEY, UH, ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING LATER TONIGHT? 63 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,482 I DON'T KNOW. I'M FREE. 64 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,400 IF YOU HEAR OF ANYTHING GOING ON, LET ME KNOW. 65 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,943 YEAH. 66 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:17,280 YEAH, WE TALKED THIS MORNING, AND WE TALKED AT CHRISTMAS. 67 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,325 SO A LITTLE MOMENTUM THERE. 68 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:29,167 JUST A...COUPLE HOURS TO KILL BEFORE WORK. 69 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,544 HEY, WHAT'S UP? 70 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,506 HEY. NICE OFFICE. 71 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,008 THANKS. IT'S COOL. 72 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,556 SO... 73 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,685 YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE? 74 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,187 HAPPY HOUR. 75 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,939 UPSTAIRS, THE WAREHOUSE. 76 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,440 EVERYBODY JUST GOING OUT FOR A DRINK. 77 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,443 HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED? EVER? 78 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,071 DIDN'T WE? I THINK WE DID. 79 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,322 YOU WANT ME TO INVITE MATT? 80 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,951 YEAH, THE WHOLE GANG. MATT INCLUDED. 81 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,161 LOOK, JUST BE STRAIGHT WITH ME, MAN. 82 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,957 YOU CAN BE GAY WITH MATT, JUST BE STRAIGHT WITH ME. 83 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,875 - SO HAPPY HOUR. - HAPPY HOUR. 84 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:11,918 JUST INVITE EVERYBODY. 85 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:16,923 - MY PLEASURE. - ALL RIGHT. 86 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,466 - SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? - HMM... 87 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,011 I SAW A NEW DRINK ON TV I'D LIKE TO TRY. 88 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,220 I'LL ASK BOB. 89 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,806 YEAH, I LOVE GOING TO BARS WITH BOB. 90 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,266 I TEND TO WEAR SOMETHING LOW-CUT, 91 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,642 GET MEN TO FLIRT WITH ME, 92 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,437 AND BOB BEATS 'EM UP. 93 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,813 WHAT? 94 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,482 I THINK IT SOUNDS AWESOME. 95 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,403 HEY, THE LOVELY JIM BONES. 96 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,113 A BUNCH OF US ARE TALKING ABOUT HAPPY HOUR ACTUALLY. 97 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,573 YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD THE CONVERSATION. 98 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,116 YEAH, SO... 99 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:46,411 WE'D LOVE FOR YOU TO MAKE IT A LITTLE HAPPIER. 100 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:50,081 AND I WOULD LOVE, LOVE, LOVE TO GO. 101 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,875 ONLY PROBLEM IS, PAM'S AT HOME WITH THE BABY, 102 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,084 AND I THINK SHE WANTS A NIGHT IN. 103 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,086 - OH, BALONEY. - GOOD ONE. 104 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,963 - RING HER UP. - ABSOLUTELY. 105 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,423 I WILL DO THAT RIGHT NOW. 106 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,009 I GOTTA TELL YOU, THIS BABY IS AMAZING. 107 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:04,596 SHE GETS ME OUT OF EVERYTHING. 108 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:08,099 AND I--AND I LOVE HER. I ALSO LOVE HER VERY MUCH. 109 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,268 SO SOME OF THE CO-WORKERS WERE THINKING 110 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,811 OF GOING OUT TONIGHT, BUT I TOLD THEM-- 111 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,563 YES! YES! I WOULD LOVE TO! 112 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,565 HA! KNEW IT! 113 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,942 IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN WITH ADULTS. 114 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,944 I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE EVERYBODY. 115 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,321 CREED, RYAN. 116 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,864 OH, MY GOD, STANLEY! STANLEY'S GONNA BE THERE. 117 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,533 - YES! OH, MY GOD... - I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING. 118 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,494 ERIN, I NEED YOU TO FAX THIS 119 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:31,039 AND GET ME A CONFIRMATION, PRONTO. 120 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,165 [whispering] ARE YOU GOING LATER? 121 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,042 - SURE, IF YOU ARE. - YES. 122 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,628 TALK TO ME THAT WAY AGAIN AND I'LL CUT YOUR FACE OFF! 123 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,089 WHOA. 124 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,925 WE RECENTLY STRUCK UP A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. 125 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,052 AND, UM... 126 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,054 BUT WE'RE KINDA KEEPING IT QUIET FOR NOW. 127 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,722 'CAUSE IT'S STILL KIND OF A NEW THING. 128 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,432 IT'S A LITTLE DELICATE, 129 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,976 AND WE JUST DON'T WANT ALL THE DRAMA. 130 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,186 - EXACTLY. - 'CAUSE WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS-- 131 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,313 [knock on window] 132 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:03,154 [giggling] 133 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,242 UH... [chuckles] 134 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,077 THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY FUNNY, 135 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,121 BUT IN GENERAL, YOU KNOW. 136 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,956 [Kevin continues giggling] 137 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,916 QUIET. 138 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,376 SO ANYBODY GOING? 139 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:19,087 TALKING TO ANYBODY. ANYBODY? 140 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,214 AT THE OFFICE, I AM ALL BUSINESS, 141 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,049 VERY PROFESSIONAL. 142 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:26,553 BUT SOMETIMES AT NIGHT I LIKED TO GO OUT AND LET MY HAIR DOWN. 143 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:30,890 NOT LITERALLY, OF COURSE, BUT... 144 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,434 - HEY, BOSS MAN. - YES? 145 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,228 A BUNCH OF US ARE GOING TO GET SOME DRINKS--YOU IN? 146 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,772 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS QUITTING TIME. 147 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:38,857 I'M SORRY, I MEANT LATER. 148 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,525 OKAY. 149 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,360 - FOR HAPPY HOUR? - YES, SURE. NO, I GOT THAT. 150 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,112 - TRYING TO GET A HEAD COUNT. - I AM IN. 151 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,448 ALL RIGHT. YES! 152 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,242 - IT'S A DEAL. - IT'S A DEAL. 153 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,622 STANLEY, MEREDITH, HI. 154 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,582 HEY. 155 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,208 HEY, MEREDITH, YOU LOOK GREAT. 156 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,668 THANK YOU. 157 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,045 STANLEY, YOU LOOK GREAT TOO. 158 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,339 - THANK YOU. - WHAT THE HELL? 159 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,383 JIM, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS BEER. 160 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,719 DO YOU EVEN DRINK BEER? 161 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,430 OH, MAN, I DON'T, DO I? 162 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,390 I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT FOR MONTHS. 163 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,892 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'LL GET YOU ONE TO HOLD. 164 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,060 OKAY. 165 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,519 OH, HEY, I INVITED MY FRIEND JULIE. 166 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,271 - OKAY. - I WANT HER TO MEET MICHAEL. 167 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,522 - WHY? - THEY'RE BOTH SINGLE. 168 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,648 I HAVE A SENSE THEY MIGHT-- 169 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:21,900 YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR A LONG TIME. 170 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,068 IT IS NOT THAT. KEVIN! 171 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,737 - OH! - YEAH! 172 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,238 HEY, HOW ARE YOU? 173 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,115 OH, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. 174 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,493 - AWW... - YEAH! 175 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,204 - YEAH. - WAAAAAH! 176 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,665 RAAAAAAA! 177 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,211 WAAAAAAA! 178 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,588 WHEN A NEW MOM HEARS A BABY CRY, 179 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,675 HER YOU-KNOW-WHATS FILL UP WITH YOU KNOW WHAT, 180 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,927 AND THEN HER SHIRT GETS, YOU KNOW... 181 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,345 [giggles] 182 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,514 THAT WOULD BE FUNNY. 183 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,519 OKAY, YOU GO ON IN. 184 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,687 I'LL SEE YOU IN TWO MINUTES. 185 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,566 YEAH. 186 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,291 OH, WOW, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. 187 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,210 THIS IS EVERYTHING I DREAMED. 188 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,796 OH, MY GOD! 189 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,214 [laughs] 190 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,298 EASY. 191 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,466 HAPPY HOUR. 192 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,427 OH, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. 193 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,304 WHEW, WHO THOUGHT OF THIS? 194 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,807 - OSCAR. - NO. REALLY? 195 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,350 YEAH, WHY? 196 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,769 WELL, BECAUSE YOU'RE ANTISOCIAL, OSCAR. 197 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,522 YOU'RE KIND OF A SNOB. 198 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,108 WHEN I ASKED OSCAR TO DISCUSS WITH ME 199 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,402 THE LATEST MALCOLM GLADWELL BOOK, 200 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,280 HE SAID HE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT. 201 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,158 BUT LATER I SAW HIM ON A MESSAGE BOARD, 202 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:58,413 AND HE WAS TALKING ALL ABOUT IT. 203 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,123 I'M NOT A SNOB. 204 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,667 I HATE THE OPERA. 205 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,961 WELL, THE PHILADELPHIA OPERA. 206 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,212 YIKES. 207 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,672 IT'S NOT A BIRTHDAY. 208 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,090 - IT'S NOT A GOOD-BYE PARTY. - OH, HEY... 209 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,050 PAM AND I ARE GONNA GO PLAY POOL 210 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,343 WITH ONE OF HER FRIENDS, 211 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,802 AND WE NEED A FOURTH. 212 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:13,970 SUCKS TO BE YOU. 213 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,724 WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE OUR FOURTH? 214 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,395 THAT WOULD BE SUBLIME. 215 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,231 ALL RIGHT. 216 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:27,859 GOOD EVENING. 217 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,943 HEY, YOU'RE FINE. 218 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,404 NO, I HAVE MY I.D. HERE SOMWHERE. 219 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,406 OH, NO, YOU'RE--YOU'RE FINE. GO AHEAD. 220 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,868 NO, YOU NEED IT. THAT'S THE RULE. 221 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,870 WHAT DID I DO WITH IT? 222 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,580 YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHERE IT IS, 223 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,207 AND THEN WHEN YOU NEED IT YOU DON'T, YOU KNOW? 224 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,209 THIS HAPPENS. 225 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,336 UM... 226 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:52,092 HMM, OH, A COUPON. 227 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,010 [mumbling] 228 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,388 SO THE GUY SHOWS ME THE DECK HE'S BUILT. 229 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,889 AND I'M LIKE, "I'LL CALL THIS A DECK 230 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,973 "IF IT'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY, 231 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,226 BUT THIS IS JUST A PORCH WITHOUT A ROOF." 232 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,645 [laughter] 233 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,605 IT WAS RIDICULOUS, MAN. 234 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,817 IT WAS LIKE--YOU COULD MAYBE GET TWO CHAIRS ON THE THING. 235 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,695 TWO LAWN CHAIRS. 236 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:12,654 - HEY, MICHAEL. - YES. 237 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,863 THIS IS MY FRIEND JULIE. 238 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,740 - HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HI. 239 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,158 WHAT IS A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU HANGING OUT 240 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,827 WITH THESE BUMS FOR? 241 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:19,828 THERE YOU GO. 242 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,621 JULIE IS 38 YEARS OLD. 243 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,748 SHE'S WARM. SHE'S A SINGLE MOM. 244 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,752 AND SHE'S AN ESL TEACHER, SO SHE'S REALLY PATIENT. 245 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:32,424 AND SHE LAUGHS AT EVERYTHING. 246 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,426 SO YOU WORK WITH PAM AND JIM? 247 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,220 OH, NO, NO. PAM AND JIM WORK FOR ME. 248 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,930 AND IF THEY WIN, THEY ARE FIRED. 249 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,391 I SHOULD HOPE NOT. 250 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,310 NO. NO, NOT REALLY. NOT REALLY, 251 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,855 BUT THEY BETTER NOT WIN. 252 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,440 - HEY. - HEY, ISABEL, YOU MADE IT. 253 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,607 - OH, MY GOODNESS. - OF COURSE. 254 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,526 - YOU WANT TO PLAY POOL? - UM... 255 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,694 I'M GONNA DO A LAP. 256 00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,446 - SEE IF I KNOW ANYONE. - OKAY. 257 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,740 AND THEN THEY SAID THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING 258 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,074 - ABOUT ANDERSON COOPER... - UH-HUH. 259 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,952 WHICH I DO NOT HAVE THE DECENCY TO REPEAT. 260 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,328 BUT TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT-- 261 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,248 HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 262 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,000 WELL, WELL, WELL. 263 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,585 [chuckles] 264 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,962 - IF IT ISN'T ISABEL. - MM-HMM. 265 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,464 WHAT'S A GIRL LIKE YOU DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS? 266 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,341 A GIRL LIKE ME IS WHY A GUY LIKE YOU COMES 267 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,467 TO A PLACE LIKE THIS. 268 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,928 - OOH, I LOVE REPARTEE. - DO YOU? 269 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,305 USUALLY MEANS THERE'S A BATTLE SCENE COMING. 270 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,433 [laughter] 271 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,977 - SO WHAT DO YOU DO? - I AM AN ESL TEACHER. 272 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,228 - REALLY? - YEAH. 273 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,189 SEE, I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD TEACH THAT. 274 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,483 I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING YOU WERE BORN WITH. 275 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,650 WHAT AM I THINKING RIGHT NOW? 276 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,236 ARE YOU THINKING THAT I SAID "ESP"? 277 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,239 YES. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. 278 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,908 AWESOME. 279 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,453 I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS WHEN PAM TOLD ME HE WAS HER BOSS, 280 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:47,040 BUT HE DOESN'T ACT LIKE A BOSS AT ALL. 281 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,418 IF I HAD A BOSS LIKE THAT, WE'D NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE. 282 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,337 - SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? - ABOUT WHAT? 283 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,297 ABOUT JULIE. 284 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,382 SHE'S NICE. 285 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,508 - YEAH. - YEAH. 286 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,843 - SO YOU LIKE HER? - UH, YEAH, SURE. 287 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,388 - SO PAM WAS RIGHT. - ABOUT WHAT? 288 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,972 ABOUT YOU TWO HITTING IT OFF. 289 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:18,363 WELL, APPARENTLY MICHAEL SCOTT IS ON A DATE. 290 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,323 AND THAT-- 291 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:23,702 THAT, MY FRIEND, CHANGES EVERYTHING. 292 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,582 MY BROTHER, GOOD HEAD, BAD HEART. 293 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,877 GOOD HEAD, BUT HEART. 294 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,504 I KNOW. 295 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:35,839 OH, YEAH, YOU TOLD ME ABOUT HIM. 296 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,257 - YEAH. YEAH. - OH, BOY. 297 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,341 YEAH, HE'S ALL RIGHT. 298 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,553 HEY, MICHAEL, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 299 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,305 HEY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE WHITE BALL FIRST, BUDDY. 300 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,557 - HEH! - NICE ONE. 301 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,683 - CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? - MM-HMM. 302 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:49,978 ALL RIGHT. EVERYTHING OKAY? 303 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,521 WHY ARE YOU WEARING A HAT NOW? 304 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:54,357 GUYS, COME ON, I'M ON A DATE. LET ME DO MY THANG. 305 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,235 HI, I'M DATE MIKE. NICE TO MEET ME. 306 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,613 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS IN THE MORNING? 307 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,491 YOU WANT TO JUST MAKE A RUN FOR IT? 308 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,452 MAYBE. 309 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,412 WAAAAAH! 310 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,539 WAAAAAH! 311 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,710 MOMMY! 312 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,300 WHAT IS HAPPENING? 313 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:23,470 [dance beat playing] 314 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,430 WHOA! 315 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,723 WOW. 316 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,350 - WHAT IS CRACKIN'? - ONE SECOND. 317 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,934 WE'RE FOCUSING, WE'RE FOCUSING--WE CAN'T TALK. 318 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:30,852 - WHAT'S THIS GAME? - ONE SECOND. 319 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,228 YEAH, HOW DO YOU PLAY? 320 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,189 - GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, PLEASE. - GAME OVER. 321 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,441 - ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL YOURS NOW. - ONLY THREE TICKETS. 322 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,568 IF WE SAVE 'EM UP, WE CAN GET MORE THAN A STICKER THIS TIME. 323 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,111 STOP TELLING ME HOW TO SPEND MY TICKETS. 324 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,363 I KNOW, BUT YOU WANTED THE BIG THING. 325 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,822 WOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT PEOPLE WOULD SAY 326 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,199 IF THEY SAW US DANCING TOGETHER? 327 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,617 OH, I KNOW. 328 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,619 THEY'D BE LIKE, "WHAT'S UP WITH THOSE TWO?" 329 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,996 "HEY, GUYS, GET A BEDROOM ALREADY." 330 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,040 "DID WE MISS THE WEDDING?" [laughter] 331 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,417 UM, I GOT IT-- I'LL DO THIS, 332 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:58,129 AND YOU PLAY THE RACING GAME, AND THEN WE'LL SWITCH. 333 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,756 YES, OKAY. YEAH, THAT'S SMART. 334 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,175 NO DRAMA. OKAY. 335 00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:05,929 [dance beat playing] 336 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,057 OH, AIR HOCKEY, BASKETBALL. WE COULD PLAY THAT. 337 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,017 OH, WHAC-A-MOLE. 338 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,644 - ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS? - THREE BROTHERS. 339 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,270 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 340 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,730 TWO ARE IN THE MARINES, ONE'S A COP. 341 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,067 - VEGETARIAN? - NO. I LOVE MEAT. 342 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,736 [sly laugh] WHAT'S YOUR BLOOD TYPE? 343 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,697 O-NEGATIVE. UNIVERSAL DONOR. 344 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,407 - UNIVERSAL DONOR. - MM-HMM. 345 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,409 [chuckles] 346 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,451 [bleep]. 347 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,787 ANGELA VERSUS ISABEL. 348 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,664 HEIGHT, ADVANTAGE ISABEL. 349 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,001 BIRTHING HIPS, ADVANTAGE ISABEL. 350 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,921 REMAINING CHILD-BEARING YEARS, ADVANTAGE ISABEL. 351 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:44,342 LEGAL OBLIGATION, ADVANTAGE ANGELA. 352 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,593 HEY, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. 353 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,553 - EXCUSE MOI. - HEY! 354 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,724 WATCH THIS. READY? 355 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,100 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 356 00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,269 I'M TYING A KNOT IN THE STEM WITH MY TONGUE. 357 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,354 MICHAEL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. 358 00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,816 [choking] 359 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,485 WOW. OH, WOW, THAT WAS CLOSE. 360 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,863 I WOULD SAY I KIND OF HAVE AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE 361 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,865 BECAUSE I WATCH REALITY DATING SHOWS 362 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,284 LIKE A HAWK, AND I LEARN. 363 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,703 I ABSORB INFORMATION FROM THE STRATEGIES OF THE WINNERS 364 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,955 AND THE LOSERS. 365 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,124 ACTUALLY, I PROBABLY LEARN MORE FROM THE LOSERS. 366 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,043 YOU KNOW, IT WAS GOING WELL BEFORE. 367 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,919 GOING WELL DOESN'T SEAL THE DEAL. 368 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,129 YES, IT DOES. 369 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,548 NO, JUST LET DATE MIKE HANDLE THIS. 370 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,632 HE'S GOT IT. HE'S ALL OVER IT. 371 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,800 HEY, OUT OF CURIOSITY, 372 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:26,968 DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS? 373 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,636 - I HAVE A BLACK GUY. - NOPE. 374 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,555 I HAVE MICHAEL KLUMP. 375 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,390 BOOM-BOOM. I'M FAT. 376 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,892 AND YOU DON'T HAVE A SUIT. 377 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,810 OH, I'M WORKING ON A NEW ONE, THE SCRANTON STRANGLER. 378 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:40,148 I WILL STRANGLE YOU, BUT I WON'T KILL YOU. 379 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,441 ALL RIGHT, LET'S STICK WITH DATE MIKE THEN. 380 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,693 ALL RIGHT. 381 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,154 I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR OVER 30 YEARS. 382 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,990 AND I THINK I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. 383 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,827 HEY, YOU TWO HAVING FUN? 384 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,579 DID YOU TELL THEM? 385 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,498 NO. 386 00:15:56,539 --> 00:16:00,752 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I DON'T WANT--THE DRAMA. 387 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:05,048 I DON'T WANT... THE DRAMA! 388 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:11,388 [indistinct]. 389 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,349 - [bell dinging] - OH! 390 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,352 YOU ARE AMAZING AT THIS. HOW DID YOU GET SO GOOD? 391 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:18,645 WHACKING MOLES. 392 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,188 - HIT 'EM ON THE HEAD. WHACK! - WHACK! 393 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,439 - WHACK. SAY IT WITH ME. - WHACK! 394 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,440 EXTEND THE FINGERS MORE. 395 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,441 - WHACK. - GOOD. 396 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,359 THIS LOOKS LIKE A HOOT. 397 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,403 HEY, MONKEY, HOW YOU DOING? 398 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,821 WHACK. 399 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,280 LISTEN, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 400 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,949 OKAY. 401 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,826 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING... 402 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,620 WE HAD A GOOD RUN. WE REALLY DID. 403 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,163 BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY 404 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,623 ABOUT THIS WHOLE CONTRACT THING ANYMORE. 405 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,708 IT'S NO WORRY. 406 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,084 IT'S JUST THAT WE BOTH-- 407 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,003 WE WANT DIFFERENT THINGS. 408 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,171 YOU KNOW, I WANT A BIG FAMILY. 409 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,340 I COULD SEE ENJOYING THAT. 410 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,467 NO, NO, NO, NO. I WANT A BIG FAMILY. 411 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,095 TALL, THICK. A BIG... 412 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,847 PHYSICALLY BIG FAMILY. 413 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:58,018 LISTEN, YOU GO HAVE FUN. YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK. 414 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,269 BUT WE SIGNED THE CONTRACT. 415 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,229 DISSOLVED. DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE FREE. 416 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,898 - OKAY? OKAY. SEE YOU LATER. - WE BOTH--YOU DIDN'T DUP-- 417 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,109 [rock music playing] 418 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:10,405 HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'. BUY A GUY A DRINK? 419 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,866 HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'. BUY A GUY A DRINK? 420 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:18,913 ♪ ♪ 421 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:22,167 [rock music playing] 422 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,918 WOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL HER 423 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,754 THAT HE'S NOT NORMALLY LIKE THIS. 424 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,797 MAYBE IT SHOULD COME FROM A MAN. 425 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,091 MAYBE IT SHOULD COME FROM A NOTE... 426 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,385 WITH FLOWERS...TOMORROW. 427 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,095 - HELLO. - HELLO. 428 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,513 - HI. - HI. 429 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,224 YOU WANT TO PAY 400 BUCKS TO RE-FELT THIS TABLE? 430 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,934 YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU SEND THE BILL 431 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,937 TO 23 I DON'T CARE LANE, SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA? 432 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,439 HEY, MICHAEL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET DOWN? 433 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,776 HEY, SHE CAN TELL I'M ON A DATE, RIGHT? RIGHT? 434 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,027 WE'RE JUST HAVING FUN. 435 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,278 TED, ARE WE HAVING FUN? 436 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,946 REALLY? 437 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,407 YOU TOLD ON ME. THAT'S LAME. 438 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,951 - WE GOT A PROBLEM? - YES. HOMELESSNESS. 439 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,913 [laughing] WHAT? 440 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,915 - ALL RIGHT, GO. - WHERE? 441 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,833 GET OUT. NOW. 442 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:07,295 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, WHOA. 443 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,843 I'M JUST KIDDING AROUND. I'M SORRY. 444 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:23,478 OKAY, UM, WHY DON'T WE JUST FINISH THE GAME? 445 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,230 MICHAEL, IT'S YOUR SHOT. 446 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,856 SHE CAN'T TALK TO US THAT WAY. 447 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,274 YOU GUYS ARE STRIPES, I THINK. 448 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,985 YOU LET SOMEBODY TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, 449 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,278 - WHERE DOES IT STOP? - IT STOPPED. 450 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,365 WELL, I AM STARTING IT AGAIN! 451 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,247 DO YOU GUYS WANT SOME FOOD? 452 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,457 THE WINGS ARE REALLY GOOD HERE. 453 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,631 MM, MM. 454 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,049 YEAH. YEAH. COME ON. 455 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,718 - SPEED DEMON. - COME ON. 456 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,593 - LET'S GO. - COME ON. 457 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,804 - COME ON, BABY. - HERE GOES. 458 00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:58,930 - YES. - THERE WE GO. 459 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,557 ANOTHER HIGH FIVE. 460 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:04,102 [rock music playing] 461 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,437 OH, YEAH. 462 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,646 ♪ ♪ 463 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,064 UH-OH. 464 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,525 HA-HA-HA-HA-HA. 465 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,485 PAY UP, SUCKERS. 466 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,699 [bell dinging] 467 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,954 [bell dinging] 468 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,416 [dance music] 469 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:30,795 ♪ ♪ 470 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:35,342 HEY, YOU EMBARRASSED MY FRIENDS IN FRONT OF ME, 471 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,509 AND I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO BACK OVER TO THE TABLE 472 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:37,802 AND APOLOGIZE. 473 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,932 THEN I AM SORRY THAT I DIDN'T KICK YOU OUT. 474 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,851 I AM HERE WITH MY EMPLOYEES. 475 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,312 I AM HERE ON A DATE. HELLO. 476 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,190 WELL, UH, I'M THE MANAGER HERE, SIR. 477 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,608 WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I'M A MANAGER TOO. 478 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,651 AND THE WAY I MANAGE PEOPLE 479 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,155 IS THAT I TOUCH THEIR HEARTS AND SOULS WITH HUMOR, 480 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,866 WITH LOVE, AND MAYBE A DASH OF RAZZLE-DAZZLE. 481 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,117 AND I DON'T SEE THAT FROM YOU. 482 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,161 IS THAT HOW YOU DO IT? 483 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,413 YES, IT IS. I AM WRITING A BOOK ABOUT IT. 484 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,040 REALLY? HOW MUCH HAVE YOU WRITTEN? 485 00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:10,085 I'VE WRITTEN ALL OF IT... 486 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961 IN MY HEAD. 487 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,296 OH. 488 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,631 IF YOU'RE REALLY INTERESTED, 489 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,341 IT IS CALLED SOMEHOW I MANAGE. 490 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,676 AND THERE'S GOING TO BE A PICTURE OF ME 491 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:21,179 ON THE COVER, SHRUGGING, WITH MY SLEEVES ROLLED UP. 492 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,139 HUH. HAVE YOU READ LEE IACOCCA'S? 493 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,182 IT'S A CLASSIC. 494 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,351 READ IT? I OWN IT. 495 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,852 BUT NO, I HAVE NOT READ IT. 496 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,270 DUDE, TONIGHT! 497 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,563 YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO PUT IT DOWN. 498 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,773 IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU WANT TO GO OUT 499 00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:32,941 AND BUY A CHRYSLER TOMORROW. 500 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,193 - I OWN A CHRYSLER. - SHUT UP. 501 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,695 NO, YOU SHUT UP! 502 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,905 WHAT'S YOUR DRINK? 503 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:42,283 - GRENADINE. - WHAT? 504 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:45,036 WE JUST HAVE TO THROW EVERYONE OFF THE SCENT A LITTLE, 505 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,706 - SO FOLLOW MY LEAD. - OKAY. 506 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,753 - HI. - HI. 507 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,171 I DON'T NORMALLY DO THIS, BUT... 508 00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:57,382 - DO WHAT? - GO, GO. 509 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,758 JUST SIT DOWN NEXT TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 510 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,261 AND START TALKING TO MYSELF TO CONFUSE OTHER PEOPLE. 511 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,056 HEY, BIG BOY. 512 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,599 DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I DO THAT? 513 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,938 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WHAT WE SAID TO DO. 514 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:15,316 WE DIDN'T SAY WE WERE GONNA, LIKE, START GROPING STRANGERS. 515 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,152 I WAS FLIRTING WITH A MAN. 516 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,404 GET IN HERE. 517 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,072 WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TALK LIKE THAT? 518 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,907 THE MOVIES. I DON'T KNOW. 519 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,577 WELL, WHAT MOVIE, BLACK SNAKE MOAN? 520 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,079 I MANAGE A PAPER COMPANY-- DUNDER MIFFLIN/SABER. 521 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,456 YOU HAVE A CARD? 522 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,249 I DID. I ACTUALLY PUT IT IN YOUR BOWL. 523 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,004 STANLEY HUDSON? 524 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:38,089 NO. NO. 525 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:40,633 WHOA, A LOT OF STANLEY HUDSONS IN HERE. 526 00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:42,719 - NO, IT'S MICHAEL SCOTT. - MICHAEL SCOTT? 527 00:21:42,761 --> 00:21:46,139 - HE IS I. - YOU JUST WON YOURSELF A LUNCH. 528 00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:48,683 OH. HEY, GUYS. 529 00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:51,936 I THINK I'M GONNA GO. 530 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,480 - REALLY? - YEAH. 531 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,107 I'M SORRY. HE'S NOT USUALLY LIKE THAT. 532 00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:57,776 WHAT'S HE USUALLY LIKE? 533 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,404 HE'S MORE JUST... 534 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,575 LIKE... 535 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:06,576 - YOU CAN GO. - YEAH. 536 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:07,744 - ALL RIGHT. - OKAY. 537 00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:10,288 - BYE. - SEE YA. 538 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:13,124 - NICE GIRL. - YEAH. 539 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:17,837 HEY, JULIE. YOU HAVING FUN? 540 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,551 [clears throat] SO... 541 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,429 WHEN ARE YOU COMING IN FOR THAT FREE LUNCH? 542 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:28,973 YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO COME IN ON A DAY THAT I'M WORKING. 543 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:33,603 UH...MAYBE I CAN HEAR MORE ABOUT THAT BOOK TOO. 544 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,234 HEY, MAN, YOU PUT TOGETHER 545 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:42,153 A PRETTY FUN NIGHT FOR EVERYBODY. 546 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,822 I SAW YOU TALKING TO HIDE. 547 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,490 DID YOU HEAR THAT DUDE'S LIFE STORY? 548 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,908 IT'S AMAZING, RIGHT? 549 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,535 I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD HE SAID. 550 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,328 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, OSCAR. 551 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:53,164 ALL RIGHT, MATT'S AN OKAY DUDE, 552 00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:55,166 BUT HE'S A DUMMY. 553 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,584 YOU GUYS GOT NOTHING IN COMMON. 554 00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:59,629 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD COUNT MYSELF LUCKY. 555 00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,673 - HEY, WHAT'S UP? - THERE HE IS! 556 00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:02,882 HEY, HEY, HEY. 557 00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:04,718 - ANYONE UP FOR SOME HOOPS? - SURE. HOOPS. 558 00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:07,387 - LET'S DO IT. - HOOP IT UP. YEAH. 559 00:23:19,691 --> 00:23:24,946 THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT MY RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE. 560 00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:27,532 [thumps microphone] 561 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,992 HI, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 562 00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:31,327 MY NAME IS ANDREW BERNARD, 563 00:23:31,369 --> 00:23:32,996 AND I'VE BEEN ON TWO DATES WITH ERIN HANNON, 564 00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:37,667 AND THEY WENT WELL, AND THERE WILL PROBABLY BE MORE. 565 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,544 THANK YOU. 566 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,421 YOU KNOW, IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE KEEPING IT A SECRET 567 00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,214 WAS JUST TOO MUCH DRAMA. 568 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:46,551 AND I HATE DRAMA, SO THERE YOU GO. 569 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:47,802 YOU LOVE DRAMA. 570 00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,888 I KNOW, I DO, RIGHT? [laughter] 571 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:52,223 I'M A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN. 572 00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:53,600 WITH THIS MOVE, HE CAN'T GET YOU. 573 00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:55,602 WELL, I THINK THAT HE COULD COUNTER THAT MOVE. 574 00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:57,812 THE SCRANTON STRANGLER IS A PROFESSIONAL STRANGLER. 575 00:23:57,854 --> 00:23:59,606 OH, PLEASE, I WISH HE'D COME AFTER ME. 576 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,232 - I WOULD BE, LIKE--AAH! - DWIGHT SCHRUTE! 577 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,360 - DWIGHT KURT SCHRUTE... - SH--WHAT? 578 00:24:03,401 --> 00:24:04,569 YOU ARE HEREBY SERVED WITH THIS SUMMONS 579 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:05,779 TO APPEAR IN LACKAWANNA COUNTY COURT... 580 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,113 NO, NO, NO. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. 581 00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:08,656 FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT WITH ANGELA NOELLE MARTIN. 582 00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:10,617 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - WHAT ARE YOU-- 583 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,786 DWIGHT RECENTLY ENTERED INTO A CONTRACT WITH ME, 584 00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:14,746 ESTABLISHING INTENT TO CONCEIVE 585 00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:15,955 - AND RAISE A CHILD WITH ME. - ANGELA... 586 00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:17,248 DID HE NOT TELL YOU THAT? 587 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,249 YOU'RE REALLY PUTTING ME 588 00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,210 IN AN AWKWARD POSITION HERE. 589 00:24:20,251 --> 00:24:22,337 DO YOU PLAN ON RAISING A CHILD WITH ME? 590 00:24:22,379 --> 00:24:24,297 OR DO YOU PLAN ON BREAKING THIS CONTRACT? 591 00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:25,632 ANGELA, NOT HERE! 592 00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:27,300 DWIGHT? 593 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,094 WHACK! 594 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,595 PBBBBT! 595 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,597 YOU'LL SEE ME IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT! 596 00:24:34,182 --> 00:24:35,767 YOU ARE AN IMPRESSIVE SPECIMEN. 597 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:38,311 THANK YOU. 598 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:42,982 [crying] 599 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,484 THEN I SPILLED MY DRINK, 600 00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:46,528 AND THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME A REFILL. 601 00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:48,655 - OH--OH, MY GOSH. OH. - YOU ALL RIGHT? 602 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:49,698 OKAY, YEAH. WE HAVE TO GET HOME. 603 00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:51,282 - YES. - HALPERTS, WAIT UP. 604 00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:53,243 OH, WHAT A GREAT NIGHT. 605 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,786 GOT TO HANG OUT WITH MY PEEPS. 606 00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:57,414 SORT OF DID OKAY WITH A NEW YOUNG LADY. 607 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:58,415 - ACTUALLY, YOU DIDN'T. - NOT AT ALL. 608 00:24:58,456 --> 00:24:59,499 I THINK I DID. 609 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:01,209 BUT I CAN'T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. 610 00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:02,877 SOME OF THE CREDIT IS DUE, IN FACT, 611 00:25:02,919 --> 00:25:05,463 TO MY GOOD FRIEND, DATE MIKE. 612 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:08,633 NICE TO MEET ME. 613 00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:12,929 I WORRY ABOUT HIM. 614 00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:13,972 I DON'T. 615 00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:15,849 LOOK AT THAT GUY. 616 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:17,726 - OH. - DAMN IT, MICHAEL. 617 00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,477 I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M ALL RIGHT. 618 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,571 TELL 'EM YOUR STORY, HIDE. 42239

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