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1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,302
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
2
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,472
WHO WOULD LIKE AN AUTHENTIC
NEW YORK BAGEL? HMM?
3
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,307
- STANLEY?
- THANK YOU.
4
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,350
OH, NO, NO, NO.
5
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,728
I GOT A PUMPERNICKEL
JUST FOR YOU.
6
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,938
WOW, H AND H.
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,606
YOU WENT ALL THE WAY
TO NEW YORK CITY
8
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,108
TO GET US BAGELS?
9
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,736
OH, WHY, IS THERE A PLACE
CLOSER THAT SELLS THEM?
10
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,195
THIS WAS REALLY NICE,
DWIGHT. THANKS.
11
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,447
THANKS.
12
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,906
OH, DON'T MENTION IT.
13
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,492
YOU OWE ME ONE.
YOU ALL OWE ME ONE.
14
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,120
- GOOD MORNING, MICHAEL.
- GOOD MORNING, DWIGHT.
15
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,079
HUNGRY?
16
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,081
NO. I HAD A FISH STICK SANDWICH.
17
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,666
ACTUALLY, I HAD TWO
FISH STICK SANDWICHES.
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,626
MY GIRLFRIEND DIDN'T WANT HERS,
19
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,755
BECAUSE I GUESS I'M THE ONLY
APHRODISIAC SHE NEEDS.
20
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:47,881
FISH STICKS ARE NOT
AN APHRODISIAC.
21
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:48,965
- YEAH...
- YOU'RE THINKING OF DEER PENIS.
22
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,842
- IT WORKED.
- REGARDLESS,
23
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,427
THAT WAS OVER
TWO HOURS AGO,
24
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:56,681
AND IT IS NOW A SCIENTIFIC FACT
THAT YOU ARE HUNGRY--BAGEL?
25
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,058
I DON'T MIND IF I DO.
26
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,809
OKAY, I BROUGHT CHEESE TOO.
27
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,227
I'M TAKING ONE
FOR MY LADY FRIEND.
28
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,021
- EXCELLENT.
- BRAIN FOOD.
29
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,149
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- OKAY.
30
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,484
YOU OWE ME.
31
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,028
CAN'T A GUY JUST BUY
SOME BAGELS FOR HIS FRIENDS
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,112
SO THEY'LL OWE HIM A FAVOR,
33
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,989
WHICH HE CAN USE
TO GET SOMEONE FIRED
34
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,701
WHO STOLE A CO-MANAGER POSITION
FROM HIM ANYMORE?
35
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,703
JEEZ...
36
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,207
WHEN DID EVERYONE GET
SO CYNICAL?
37
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,210
{\an8}[cheerful music]
38
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:32,175
♪ ♪
39
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,771
PAM, WOULD YOU CARE
FOR A BAGEL?
40
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,231
OH, NO, THANK YOU.
41
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,524
OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
YOU'RE A WOMAN,
42
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,317
AND YOU NEED TO REFUSE FOOD
THE FIRST TIME.
43
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,570
I'LL TRY AGAIN.
PLEASE, PAM,
44
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,738
RECONSIDER AND HAVE A BAGEL.
45
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,533
I HAVE AN EARLY LUNCH.
46
00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,785
MICHAEL'S BEEN TRYING TO GET
JIM AND ME TO HANG OUT
47
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,412
EVER SINCE HE STARTED
DATING MY MOM.
48
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,623
I DON'T KNOW, I REALLY HOPED
THIS THING WOULD JUST DIE OUT.
49
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,751
BUT TODAY HE'S PLANNING
A BIRTHDAY LUNCH FOR MY MOM,
50
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,254
AND WE HAVE TO GO.
51
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,340
NO WAY OUT.
52
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,384
NO WAY OUT.
53
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,553
THESE ARE AMAZING.
YOU TOOK ALL THESE?
54
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:20,473
I'VE ALWAYS FOUND BEAUTY
IN UNCOMMON PLACES.
55
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,975
HOMELESS PEOPLE. GRAFFITI
56
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,394
PHOTOGRAPHY LETS ME CAPTURE
ALL THAT.
57
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,104
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
PHOTOGRAPHED BEFORE?
58
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,355
OH, JUST BY, LIKE, FRIENDS.
59
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,773
WELL, HERE'S WHAT
I'VE BEEN DOING
60
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,984
AROUND HERE.
61
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,777
IT'S FOR A SERIES ON EXPOSURE
IN THE WORKPLACE.
62
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,320
HOO-HOO. PAMMY?
63
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:37,699
HEY...HI.
64
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,617
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
- THANK YOU.
65
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,245
GIRLS...THERE THEY ARE.
66
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,705
BIRTHDAY LUNCH.
BIRTHDAY LUNCH--
67
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:47,751
THERE'S NO BETTER MEDICINE
THAN BIRTHDAY LUNCH.
68
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:51,838
IT'LL CURE ALL OF YOUR,
"GEE, I DON'T KNOW IF MICHAEL
69
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,967
SHOULD BE DATING MY MOTHER,"
AND FIXES ALL OCCURRENCES OF,
70
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,553
"I DON'T REALLY SEE THEM
TOGETHER."
71
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,681
SO OPEN WIDE, PAM,
AND TAKE A BIG OL' SPOONFUL
72
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,641
OF BIRTHDAY LUNCH MEDICINE.
73
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,935
TAKE WITH FOOD.
74
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,480
PAM, AREN'T YOU GONNA
INTRODUCE US
75
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,939
TO MICHAEL'S GIRLFRIEND?
76
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,317
I THINK YOU GUYS ALL REMEMBER
MY MOM FROM THE WEDDING.
77
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,276
YEAH, I THINK EVERYONE'S
MET HELENE.
78
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:14,694
- HI.
- SHALL WE?
79
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,988
WAIT A MINUTE, IS THAT ANOTHER
BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR ME?
80
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,032
'CAUSE YOU ALREADY GAVE ME
A NECKLACE.
81
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,367
OH, MY GOD, I LOVE IT.
82
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,701
TELL HER HOW YOU GAVE IT
TO ME.
83
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,370
- NO, THAT WOULDN'T BE--
- HE PUT IT AROUND MY NECK
84
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,413
WHILE I WAS STILL ASLEEP
THIS MORNING.
85
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,415
WHAT A NICE WAY
TO WAKE UP.
86
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,542
YEAH, THE REST OF THE STORY
HAS BEEN CENSORED
87
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,835
DUE TO INAPPROPRIOSITY.
88
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,295
BECAUSE OF SEX?
89
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,381
- KEVIN!
- HEY, PLEASE, KEVIN...
90
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,425
YOU'RE FIRED.
SORRY. SORRY.
91
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,885
WORK WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS.
SHALL WE GO?
92
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,470
- YES, LET'S GO.
- OKAY.
93
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,222
OH, WAIT.
94
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,765
SWARTZ LUMBER IS ON THE PHONE
FOR YOU, PAM,
95
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,475
AND THEY SAY IT'S URGENT.
96
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:49,396
OH. YOU GUYS,
JUST ONE SECOND.
97
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:53,942
OH, MY GOSH!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
98
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,402
SHIPPING EMERGENCY.
99
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,611
I DON'T THINK
I CAN GO TO LUNCH.
100
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,363
OH, MAN, THAT'S CRAZY.
101
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,365
RIGHT AS WE WERE ON
OUR WAY OUT TOO.
102
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,534
I KNOW. ISN'T THAT ALWAYS
HOW IT GOES?
103
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,327
RARELY, IF EVER.
104
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,578
LET ME GIVE IT A WHIRL.
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
105
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,288
- I WANT TO HANDLE IT.
- THAT'S OKAY.
106
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,207
- I FEEL LIKE.
- IT'S MY PLEASURE.
107
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,209
HELLO?
WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
108
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,545
TURNS OUT THE PAPER WAS THERE
ALL ALONG.
109
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,880
OH, THANK GOD.
110
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,215
SOMETHING'S UP.
111
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,134
THAT PAPER WAS NEVER
SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE.
112
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,594
SO, PAMMY, ARE YOU STILL
LIKING SALES?
113
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,305
YEAH. IT'S EXCITING.
114
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:28,560
UH, YOU KNOW,
MICHAEL AND I WERE TALKING,
115
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,646
AND MAYBE IF YOU PUT IN
A LITTLE MORE FACE-TO-FACE TIME
116
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,441
WITH YOUR CLIENTS,
YOU COULD IMPROVE YOUR SALES.
117
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,276
PAM'S SALES ARE FINE, ACTUALLY.
118
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,319
JUST WANT YOU
TO SUCCEED, PAMMY.
119
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,113
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING
120
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,364
ABOUT BUSINESS TODAY.
121
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,408
- THANK YOU.
- TODAY'S ABOUT FAMILY.
122
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:47,579
WHY DID I GET IN THE CAR?
I COULD HAVE STRUGGLED.
123
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,123
I HAVE A WHISTLE IN MY PURSE.
I DIDN'T EVEN BLOW IT.
124
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,417
HEY, OSCAR.
125
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,044
LISTEN, YOUR LEFT REAR TIRE
WAS LOOKING A LITTLE LOW,
126
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,587
SO I INFLATED IT FOR YOU.
127
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,881
OH, WOW, REALLY?
128
00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,382
SURE.
YOU OWE ME ONE.
129
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,760
AND IF YOU USE THE FREEZER,
WELL, THEN YOU OWE ME TWO.
130
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,680
[chuckles]
131
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,475
OH, DWIGHT, I HAVE
A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.
132
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,560
LET ME GUESS, YOU ATE
THE BAGEL I GAVE YOU
133
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,394
AND LOVED IT.
134
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,396
YES.
[both chuckle]
135
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,523
AND I WANTED TO RETURN
THE FAVOR.
136
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,776
I WAS POLISHING MY LOAFERS,
AND I HAPPENED TO LOOK OVER
137
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,321
AND NOTICE THAT YOUR BRIEFCASE
WAS A LITTLE WORSE FOR THE WEAR.
138
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,906
SO A LITTLE ELBOW GREASE,
139
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:26,451
AND SHE'S POLISHED RIGHT UP,
BACK TO HER FORMER GLORY.
140
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,537
- OH, WELL...
- FEEL IT AGAINST YOUR CHEEK.
141
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,747
I WILL.
142
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,499
YOU GIVE ME A GIFT--
BAM! THANK YOU NOTE.
143
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,585
YOU INVITE ME SOMEWHERE--
POW! RSVP.
144
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:40,215
YOU DO ME A FAVOR--
WHAM! FAVOR RETURNED.
145
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,218
DO NOT TEST MY POLITENESS.
146
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,469
- LET ME GET THAT DOOR FOR YOU.
- OH--
147
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,762
- THERE WE GO.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
148
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:49,391
- AND I GOT IT FOR YOU.
- OH, GOODNESS. THANKS.
149
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,768
HEY, YOU KNOW,
HERE'S A HEALTHY FITNESS TIP.
150
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,645
IF YOU CLENCH YOUR BUTTOCKS
TOGETHER WHILE WALKING,
151
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,480
YOU CAN REALLY TAKE THE PRESSURE
OFF YOUR KNEES.
152
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,439
- IS THAT RIGHT?
- OBSERVE.
153
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,818
HUH.
[both chuckle]
154
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,111
- RIGHT?
- THAT REALLY WORKS.
155
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,488
YEAH, FEEL FREE TO USE THAT
ANYTIME. OKAY...
156
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,823
HEY, HO--
HOLD ON A SECOND.
157
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,535
DO NOT WALK AROUND
WITH YOUR JACKET CATTYWAMPUS.
158
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,953
AND THAT NEEDS TO BE
STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW.
159
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,996
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
160
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,581
- OH, BOY.
- OKAY.
161
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,210
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT.
HAVE A SEAT.
162
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:20,088
- ALLOW ME, PLEASE.
- HAVE A SEAT YOURSELF.
163
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,465
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I AM GOING TO PREEMPTIVELY
164
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,884
CHANGE THE BATTERIES
IN YOUR WIRELESS MOUSE.
165
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,344
- NOT NECESSARY.
- NO, NO, NO.
166
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,054
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
167
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,306
ANDY IS COMPLICATING THINGS.
168
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,474
BUT I'M NOT WORRIED.
169
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,184
THIS WILL ONLY UP
MY GAME.
170
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,602
NO MAN IS AT THEIR BEST
WHEN THEY'RE FIGHTING
171
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,062
AGAINST NO ONE.
172
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,648
MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER
WAS A BOXER.
173
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,567
BUT HE WAS SO LIGHT
THEY HAD TO CREATE
174
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:44,195
A SPECIAL WEIGHT CLASS FOR HIM
CALLED BALSA WEIGHT.
175
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,490
FOR 20 YEARS
NO ONE CHALLENGED HIM.
176
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:50,535
ON THE 21ST YEAR
HE WAS CHALLENGED
177
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:55,373
BY A ROOSTER, BUT HE NO LONGER
HAD THE SKILLS.
178
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,542
SOME SAY HE THREW THE FIGHT.
179
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,879
HELLO. "SCOTT,"
TABLE FOR FOUR.
180
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,382
WELCOME, SCOTT FAMILY.
IT'LL BE JUST A MOMENT.
181
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,551
I USED TO LOVE COMING HERE.
182
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,763
THE CHICKEN PARM IS GOOD.
BIG PART OF MY CHILDHOOD.
183
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,807
OH, MAYBE MICHAEL WILL START
DATING THAT TOO.
184
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,852
WHAT TABLE SHOULD WE TAKE?
SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM.
185
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,271
- WOW.
- OH, MY GOD!
186
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,982
WHAT? ALL I SEE ARE
BORING OLD TABLES
187
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,443
WITH NO BIRTHDAY DECORATIONS.
188
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:26,112
OH, WAIT A SECOND!
YOU MEAN THIS ONE?
189
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,781
WOW.
190
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,532
MICHAEL, YOU DID ALL THIS?
191
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,409
IT'S NOT ABOUT TAKING CREDIT.
LET'S JUST SAY WE ALL DID IT.
192
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,411
WELL, THANK YOU.
ALL OF YOU.
193
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,915
WELL, IT WAS ACTUALLY
ME ALONE, SO...
194
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,625
WOW, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
195
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,627
IT REALLY MAKES ME WANT
TO GO TO ITALY SOMEDAY.
196
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,338
OH, YOU'LL LOVE IT.
YOU CAN HAVE MY GUIDE BOOKS.
197
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,548
I THINK I'M DONE WITH THOSE
REALLY LONG PLANE RIDES.
198
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,344
OH, THANK YOU FOR--
THANKS FOR LENDING ME THE BOOK.
199
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:53,723
WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT DATING
A MORE EXPERIENCED WOMAN
200
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,434
IS HER EXPERIENCE.
201
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,479
AND IF THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT I WANT TO DO,
202
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,772
SHE'S ALREADY DONE IT,
SO SHE CAN TELL ME
203
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,359
WHETHER IT IS WORTH DOING
OR NOT, MOSTLY NOT.
204
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:07,487
SO, MOM, WHICH BIRTHDAY
ARE WE CELEBRATING THIS YEAR?
205
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,905
OH, STICKING WITH 49.
206
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,616
49 AGAIN?
THAT'S NINE YEARS IN A ROW.
207
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,368
THIS IS NOW OUR LONGEST
FAMILY TRADITION.
208
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,869
THAT'S FUNNY.
209
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,996
WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE
RUNNING NUMBERS, PAM,
210
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,748
HELP ME OUT WITH THIS ONE.
211
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,251
LET'S SEE, HONEY,
YOU'RE SIX MONTHS PREGNANT,
212
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,128
BUT YOU'VE ONLY BEEN MARRIED
FOR 30 DAYS.
213
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,921
SO WHAT DOES THAT ADD UP TO?
214
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,466
OOH, BURN. BURN ON YOU.
AND A LITTLE BIT ON ME TOO.
215
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,969
YOU'RE 54 YEARS OLD.
216
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,055
NO, I'M 58.
217
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,975
- YOU'RE 58 YEARS OLD?
- UH-HUH.
218
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,935
CONGRATULATIONS.
219
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,604
THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD CARE
ABOUT A WOMAN'S AGE
220
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,231
IS IF SHE IS TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.
221
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,151
AND I AM NOT ROBBING
THE CRADLE.
222
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:50,947
IF ANYTHING,
I AM ROBBING THE GRAVE.
223
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,240
MOM, HAVE YOU DECIDED
WHAT YOU WANT TO BE CALLED?
224
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,826
I LIKE "NANA."
225
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,953
BUT I ALSO LIKE
THE CLASSIC "GRANDMA."
226
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,830
- PLEASE BE GRANDMA.
- DEFINITELY A GRANDMA.
227
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,998
- I WANT YOU TO BE GRANDMA.
- MICHAEL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
228
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,126
- GRANDMA?
- UH-HUH.
229
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,669
YAY. GRANDMA.
230
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,762
HEY, WOULD YOU GUYS EVER DO
A TRIATHLON, YOU THINK?
231
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,804
MAYBE.
232
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,222
HELENE?
233
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,724
OH, OH, NO.
I DON'T THINK SO.
234
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,768
I AM.
I'M DEFINITELY GONNA DO IT.
235
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,853
I'VE ALREADY GOT THE RUN
AND THE BIKE THING DOWN.
236
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,813
I JUST NEED TO LEARN
HOW TO SWIM.
237
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,523
COME ON, YOU IN?
238
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,275
NO, NO, I THINK A TRIATHLON
IS PRETTY MUCH
239
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,527
SOMETHING I CAN RULE OUT.
240
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,529
IT JUST DOESN'T INTEREST ME.
241
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,865
SO IT'S A MATTER OF INTEREST.
GOOD. OKAY.
242
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,034
IT'S NOT ANYTHING
YOU WOULD HAVE EVER DONE.
243
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,953
MM, I MIGHT HAVE DONE IT
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,
244
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,372
BUT NOW THERE ARE JUST
OTHER THINGS
245
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,040
THAT I'D RATHER BE DOING
THAN RUNNING AND JUMPING.
246
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,000
WELL, THERE'S NO JUMPING
IN A TRIATHLON.
247
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,168
OH.
248
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,378
YOU'RE THINKING
THE BROAD JUMP.
249
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,130
WOULD YOU TRY...
BUNGEE JUMPING?
250
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,382
- NO.
- SNOWBOARDING?
251
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,092
NO, NO.
YOU WANT TO GO SNOWBOARDING?
252
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,635
I MIGHT. I MIGHT.
253
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,762
MICHAEL, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
254
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,097
[sigh]
255
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,975
NOTHING.
JUST LIFE AND...
256
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:05,021
DOING THINGS...
BEFORE YOU DIE.
257
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,064
I DON'T KNOW.
258
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,066
DO I REALLY WANT
TO GO SNOWBOARDING?
259
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,443
NO. BUT I--
260
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,655
I WOULD LIKE TO
IF I WANTED TO.
261
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:17,367
[singing fanfare]
262
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,618
AYE-YI-YI!
263
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,828
WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
264
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,455
- ANDY BOUGHT LUNCH.
- OH, NO, REALLY?
265
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,915
YEP. YEP.
266
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,001
TOOK A PAGE RIGHT OUT OF THE OLD
SCHRUTE BOOK OF NICENESS.
267
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,795
THERE IS NO BOOK.
THERE'S ONLY A SURVIVAL GUIDE.
268
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,797
YOU BOUGHT BREAKFAST
FOR EVERYONE,
269
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,424
SO I GOT LUNCH FOR EVERYONE.
270
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,260
OKAY, WELL, ALLOW ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT--
271
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,096
GOSH, THESE TACOS ARE
AWFULLY COMPLICATED TO MAKE.
272
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,181
I WILL MAKE EVERYONE'S TACOS.
273
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,891
GRA-GA-GA-GA-GA!
274
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:42,976
AWESOME.
275
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,352
THIS IS GREAT.
276
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,521
AND GOT US TACOS.
277
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,773
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS,
278
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,568
WHENEVER I TRY TO MAKE
A TACO,
279
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,238
I GET TOO EXCITED,
AND I CRUSH IT.
280
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,364
PRIMERO TACO.
281
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,742
THANK YOU.
282
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,285
HEY,
YOU STILL OWE ME.
283
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,411
SHOOT.
284
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,829
WELL,
NO ONE OWES ME ANYTHING.
285
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,289
THIS LUNCH WAS MY PLEASURE.
286
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,416
ANDY IS RUINING MY PLAN.
287
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,210
I KNEW IT WASN'T GONNA BE EASY
TO ENTIRELY REMAKE MY IMAGE
288
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,421
OVER THE COURSE OF ONE MORNING
WITH NOTHING BUT A TRAY
289
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:14,299
OF BAGELS,
BUT I NEVER SAW THIS COMING.
290
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,842
SO WE SHOULD GET THE CHECK?
291
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,302
WHAT ABOUT YOUR GIFT,
MICHAEL?
292
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,387
OH, NO, NO, NO.
NO, IT'S STUPID.
293
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,722
YOU'D HATE IT.
I HATE IT.
294
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,057
- I'M SURE I WON'T.
- YES, YOU WILL.
295
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,351
HE LOCKED HIMSELF
IN HIS OFFICE ALL MORNING
296
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,560
WORKING ON IT.
297
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,062
GIMME!
LOOK AT THIS WRAPPING PAPER.
298
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,397
IT'S GOT THE WORD "LOVE"
ON IT IN EVERY LANGUAGE!
299
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:33,568
I LITERALLY--I PUT NO THOUGHT
INTO THE WRAPPING AT ALL.
300
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,196
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN
TOILET PAPER.
301
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,614
TOILET PAPER...LET'S SEE.
302
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:41,159
"A SCRAPBOOK
OF OUR FIRST MEMORIES,
303
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,078
"BY MICHAEL GARY SCOTT.
304
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:47,082
FOR MY GIRLFRIEND HELENE
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY."
305
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,042
THAT'S JUST AN ARBITRARY TITLE.
306
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,419
OKAY, TICKET STUBS
TO "LOVE HAPPENS."
307
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,213
BUT I THREW MINE AWAY.
308
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,923
YEAH, I THREW MINE AWAY TOO.
309
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,635
I WENT BACK YESTERDAY,
AND DWIGHT AND I SAW IT,
310
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,095
AND I MADE HIM GIVE ME
HIS TICKET STUB.
311
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,265
YOU DID ALL THAT JUST TO GET
THE TICKET STUBS?
312
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,267
NO, I WANTED TO SEE IT AGAIN.
313
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,435
BUT DWIGHT'S MY FRIEND.
314
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,895
- HE WANTED TO SEE IT, SO...
- SURE.
315
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,522
HERE'S A PENNY.
WHAT'S THAT FROM?
316
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,690
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
317
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,483
IT WAS FROM THE WISHING WELL
AT THE MALL.
318
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,276
YOU THREW IT IN,
AND I WENT BACK LATER,
319
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,112
WADED IN, AND I FOUND IT.
320
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,280
THAT'S AMAZING!
321
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,615
IT'S NOT AMAZING AT ALL.
322
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,201
IT'S SORT OF WEIRD THAT
I WENT AND DID THAT.
323
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,287
AND NOW YOUR WISH WON'T
COME TRUE, SO THAT BLOWS.
324
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,372
A POEM.
325
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,957
OH, THAT I PLAGIARIZED,
I THINK.
326
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:33,128
"I CANNOT GO TO SCHOOL TODAY
SAID LITTLE PEGGY ANN MCKAY,"
327
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,213
- IS THAT SHEL SILVERSTEIN?
- YEAH.
328
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,756
"I HAVE THE MEASLES
AND THE MUMPS,
329
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,134
A GASH, A RASH,
AND PURPLE BUMPS.
330
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,760
MY MOM USED TO CALL ME
EVERY NIGHT
331
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,804
CRYING ABOUT THE DIVORCE.
332
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,098
AND THEN SHE STARTED
DATING MICHAEL.
333
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,642
AND SHE STOPPED CALLING.
334
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,854
BECAUSE SHE STOPPED CRYING.
335
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:54,941
AND THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD WANT
FOR HER, RIGHT?
336
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,818
"AND MY TEACHER'S
REALLY MEAN--
337
00:12:56,860 --> 00:13:00,405
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
I LOVE YOU, HELENE."
338
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,740
THAT'S REALLY NICE, MICHAEL.
339
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,617
WELL, I THINK IT SUCKS.
340
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,327
I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL.
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
341
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,580
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU AND I
HAVE VERY DIFFERENT TASTE.
342
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,248
AND YOU LIKE LAME THINGS.
343
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,501
IT'S A GENERATIONAL SORT
OF GAP BETWEEN US.
344
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,004
OH, MY GOSH, A SCRAPBOOK.
345
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,798
- HOME RUN, MICHAEL.
- YOU SET THE BAR SO HIGH.
346
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,300
THAT WAS A BUNT.
347
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,845
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, DWIGHT,
I'M GONNA DO THIS.
348
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,805
HEY, HEY, HEY, RELAX.
I GOT IT COVERED.
349
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,015
NO, I INSIST.
350
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,019
NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.
NO, I INSIST.
351
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,854
OKAY, DWIGHT,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
352
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,440
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN JUST OWE ME.
353
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,858
[chuckles]
354
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,485
THEY CAN ALL OWE ME.
355
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,071
WHEN SOMEONE STICKS A FLOWER
IN YOUR GUN BARREL,
356
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:44,866
IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO FORGET
YOU'RE STILL HOLDING A GUN.
357
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,494
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GO?
358
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,162
OH, JUST WENT
TO THE BATHROOM.
359
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,748
AND THEN YOU STOPPED
AT THE BAR ON THE WAY BACK?
360
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,333
GOT THIRSTY.
361
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:56,044
OKAY, WEIRDO.
COME ON, IT'S TIME FOR CAKE.
362
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,087
OH, OKAY.
363
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,797
HONESTLY, FOR A LONG TIME
I THOUGHT
364
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,299
I WAS GOING TO GROW OLD
WITH HOLLY.
365
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:05,428
AND THEN I MET HELENE,
AND SHE IS GREAT.
366
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,307
AND SHE ALREADY KNOWS
AND HAS DONE EVERYTHING
367
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,559
THAT I HAVE EVER WANTED TO DO,
368
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:15,355
AND CAN TELL ME ABOUT IT.
369
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:19,776
BUT I THINK I WANT
TO DO THOSE THINGS MYSELF.
370
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:22,070
- THE CAKE'S REALLY GOOD.
- OH, I KNOW.
371
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,738
I LOVE IT WHEN THEY USE
BUTTER-CREAM FROSTING.
372
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,365
FINISH YOUR CAKE, HELENE.
373
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,783
HMM?
374
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,868
I WANT YOU TO ENJOY
THAT CAKE
375
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,121
BECAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING
TERRIBLE I NEED TO TELL YOU,
376
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:34,749
AND I WANT YOU
TO ENJOY YOUR CAKE
377
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:38,128
BEFORE I TELL YOU
THIS TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THING.
378
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,383
I CAN'T SAY THE WORDS.
379
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:44,843
JIM, WOULD YOU TELL HER,
PLEASE?
380
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,137
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
381
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,346
YOU KNOW ME.
382
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,181
WHAT IS SOMETHING TERRIBLE
THAT I MIGHT SAY?
383
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,058
I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE
SOME CAKE RIGHT NOW, MAN.
384
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,852
IT'S NOT AS BAD
AS SOMEBODY DYING.
385
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,312
IT'S WORSE THAN,
"I RAN OVER A SKUNK."
386
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,064
MICHAEL,
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
387
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,734
HELENE, I THINK
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON,
388
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,862
AND I--GOD, I'VE ENJOYED
DATING YOU
389
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,447
AND BEING YOUR BOYFRIEND
SO MUCH.
390
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,616
BUT I HAVE TO CONSIDER
PAM'S FEELINGS.
391
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,369
AS A FRIEND AND A CO-WORKER,
392
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:15,874
I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE
CONTINUE TO DATE YOU
393
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,959
WHEN I KNOW WHAT THIS IS
DOING TO HER.
394
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:21,296
MICHAEL--
MICHAEL, IT'S--IT'S OKAY.
395
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,714
NO, IT'S NOT.
396
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,008
I KNOW THAT IT TOOK ME
A LITTLE WHILE TO COME AROUND,
397
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,260
AND IT'S STILL A LITTLE WEIRD
TO GET USED TO,
398
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:32,515
BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY MAKE MY MOM
VERY HAPPY.
399
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:35,435
AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.
400
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,438
WOW, THAT JUST--
YOU'VE REALLY GROWN.
401
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,440
WELL...
402
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,233
OH, THANK YOU, PAM.
403
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:46,279
AND I HOPE YOU'RE AS GRACIOUS
DURING THIS NEXT PART.
404
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,784
HELENE, ONCE AGAIN,
YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON,
405
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,993
AND YOU HAVE LIVED
A GREAT LIFE.
406
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,661
AND I ENVY IT.
407
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:57,374
AND I WANT IT, SOMEDAY.
BUT JUST IN THE FUTURE.
408
00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,001
YOU NEED SOMEBODY WHO--
WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR REFERENCES.
409
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,797
WHO IS KAFKAESQUE?
I'VE NEVER--I DON'T KNOW HIM.
410
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,343
THERE'S ANOTHER WOMAN,
AND HER NAME IS ITALY...
411
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,428
AND SKYDIVING...
AND BUNGEE JUMPING.
412
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,055
OKAY, SO...
413
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,598
AND I WANT KIDS.
414
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,976
AND YOU, UNFORTUNATELY,
HAVE ALREADY COMPLETED THAT PART
415
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,603
- OF YOUR JOURNEY DOWN THERE.
- MICHAEL!
416
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,563
IT'S NOT MY DECISION.
IT'S MOTHER NATURE.
417
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:24,150
AND MOTHER HAS VERY STRICT RULES
ABOUT FER--
418
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,201
...TILITY.
419
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,453
I, UM...
I GOT IT.
420
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,455
IT'S, LIKE, YOU DON'T BUY
A "MAD LIBS" BOOK
421
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374
WITH EVERYTHING
ALREADY WRITTEN IN IT.
422
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:42,961
YOU ARE GONNA FIND SOMEBODY
SO QUICKLY
423
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,379
WITH YOUR KILLER BOD
424
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,839
AND YOUR WISDOM.
425
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,465
GAH! OW.
426
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,844
SOMEBODY KICKED--
DID YOU GUYS GET KICKED?
427
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,095
NOPE.
428
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,680
I KICKED YOU. STOP.
429
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,306
I MISS JACK.
430
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,599
OH, MOM.
431
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,976
[whispers]
WHO IS THIS?
432
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,020
[whispers]
HER EX-HUSBAND.
433
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,813
[whispers]
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR LIPS.
434
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,940
- [whispers] HER--
- MY DAD.
435
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,036
HEY, EVERYONE,
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION
436
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,245
FOR A SECOND?
437
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,205
YOU ALL MAY HAVE NOTICED
THAT DWIGHT
438
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:22,834
IS TRYING REALLY HARD
TO BE NICE TODAY.
439
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,546
AND IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT NATURAL
FOR HIM,
440
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,131
SO IT'S KIND OF HARD.
441
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,342
- SO...
- WHAT'S YOUR GAME?
442
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,219
I THINK IT'S GREAT,
AND WE SHOULD REINFORCE IT
443
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,721
BY GETTING HIM A GIFT.
444
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,639
WHY DOES DWIGHT GET A GIFT?
WE ALL DO NICE THINGS.
445
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,059
I MEAN, I BRING IN MUFFINS
AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK.
446
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,478
THOSE ARE LEFTOVER
BOOK GROUP MUFFINS.
447
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,063
I COULD HAVE
THROWN THEM AWAY.
448
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,107
LOOK, DWIGHT WAKES UP
EVERY MORNING AT 4:00 A.M.
449
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:49,277
AND RACES A MONGOOSE
AROUND A BEET PASTURE.
450
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:52,322
HE WRESTLES A 300-POUND SOW.
451
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,157
THAT'S HOW HE WORKS OUT, OKAY?
452
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,451
HE'S NOT LIKE THE REST OF US.
453
00:17:56,493 --> 00:18:00,705
BUT TODAY HE'S REALLY TRYING,
AND I'M TOUCHED BY IT,
454
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,540
BECAUSE IT WASN'T VERY LONG AGO
455
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,210
THAT ANDREW BERNARD
HAD A PRETTY HOT TEMPER.
456
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,712
YEP. YOU KNOW WHAT GOT ME
THROUGH IT?
457
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,047
MANDATORY ANGER MANAGEMENT?
458
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,924
NO, OSCAR.
459
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,218
IT WAS THE KINDNESS
AND GENTLE WORDS
460
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,053
OF MY ANGER MANAGEMENT SPONSOR.
461
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,346
SPLITTING HAIRS, ANDY.
462
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,931
YOU'RE SPLITTING HAIRS, OSCAR.
463
00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:23,311
MY POINT IS,
IT WAS ANOTHER PERSON.
464
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,355
AND TODAY WE HAVE
THE OPPORTUNITY
465
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,191
TO BE DWIGHT'S ANOTHER PERSON.
466
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,360
THIS IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
FOR ME,
467
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:33,613
BECAUSE I NEVER GO THIS LONG
WITHOUT RETURNING A FAVOR,
468
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,156
WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH.
469
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,409
BUT THEN WHAT IF DWIGHT DIES
AND I STILL OWE HIM SOMETHING?
470
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,744
THAT IS A RECIPE FOR A GHOST.
471
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:43,373
I KNOW, MOM. I KNOW.
472
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:47,419
I'M 58.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?
473
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,712
- WELL, HOBBIES...
- STOP.
474
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,255
UHH...
475
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,883
YOU KNOW, I JUST HAVE TO
FACE THIS PATTERN IN MYSELF.
476
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,761
I MAKE THESE TERRIBLE CHOICES.
477
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,055
WELL, MOM, I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE REALLY THE ONE
478
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,098
IN THE WRONG HERE.
479
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,891
WELL, YEAH, IN A WAY I AM.
480
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,562
I MEAN, WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME
THAT MAKES ME CHOOSE
481
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,106
THESE LOSER GUYS.
482
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,024
UH, I DON'T KNOW IF
I WOULD SAY A LOSER.
483
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,191
I'M GONNA CHANGE THE STATION.
484
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,443
I CAN TOTALLY CHANGE
THE STATION.
485
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,278
WHERE DO WE GOT?
486
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,031
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG
IT'S BEEN
487
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:20,994
SINCE I'VE HAD AN ORGASM?
488
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:25,790
YEARS.
489
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,000
[sighs]
490
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:30,128
SHE TOLD ME
SHE DOESN'T LIKE THEM.
491
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,798
- UNH...
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
492
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,342
STUPID THING WEDGED UP THERE.
493
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,634
NO ONE IN THIS OFFICE
WILL HELP ME.
494
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,720
YEAH. MOVE IT.
495
00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:39,971
IT'S REALLY WEDGED IN THERE.
496
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,806
OH, YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA
OWE ME BIG TIME.
497
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,016
IT'S LIKE A LITTLE ENVEL--
THERE YOU GO.
498
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:46,269
YEP. GOT IT.
"TO DWIGHT"?
499
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,357
A STARBUCKS GIFT CARD.
500
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:53,068
SURPRISE!
[chuckles]
501
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,110
IT'S FROM EVERYBODY.
502
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,572
$15 VALUE.
503
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,615
DAMN IT!
504
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,950
I AM NO CLOSER
TO TAKING JIM DOWN.
505
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,952
UGH, WHAT A WASTE OF THE DAY.
506
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,162
I COULD HAVE GROWN
POISON MUSHROOMS
507
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,248
THAT'D BE THIS HIGH BY NOW!
508
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,918
THEY'RE MUSHROOMS.
THEY DON'T GET THAT HIGH.
509
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,837
- PAMELA BEESLY HALPERT.
- WHAT?
510
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,464
MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU
IN MY OFFICE, PLEASE?
511
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:16,299
- I AM WORKING.
- WELL...
512
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,677
THIS IS A WORK-RELATED
MATTER.
513
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,929
- REALLY?
- YES.
514
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,347
- REALLY?
- YES.
515
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:26,059
JOIN ME, PLEASE, WON'T YOU?
516
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,938
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
A RAISE, PAM.
517
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,231
WHY?
518
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,233
BECAUSE OF ALL THE GOOD WORK
YOU'VE DONE.
519
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,360
I HAVE THE LOWEST SALES RECORD
OF ANYONE HERE.
520
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:36,986
NO, JUST, JUST DON'T, NO.
521
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,197
IT'S NOT ABOUT NUMBERS, PAM.
IT'S ABOUT ATTITUDE.
522
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,033
I HAVE THE WORST ATTITUDE
OF ANY PERSON HERE.
523
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,452
DO YOU WANT THE RAISE
OR WHAT?
524
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,121
- YEAH, I'LL TAKE IT.
- OKAY.
525
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,664
HEY, PAM. PAM.
526
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,874
WITH THIS RAISE
THERE ARE STRINGS ATTACHED.
527
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,334
[sighs]
I KNEW IT.
528
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:54,045
AND THE STRING IS ATTACHED
FROM MY HEART
529
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,297
TO YOUR MEAN ATTITUDE.
530
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,049
YOU'RE BRIBING ME.
531
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,176
NO, NO.
NO, I AM NOT.
532
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:02,637
UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO.
YOU WANT ME TO?
533
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,222
'CAUSE I WILL.
I WILL BRIBE YOU.
534
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:09,269
NO...YOUR FACE IS
SAYING DON'T.
535
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:12,731
UNLESS I HAVEN'T
OFFERED YOU ENOUGH.
536
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,233
YOUR FACE ISN'T CHANGING.
537
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,485
WHAT IS IT?
TALK TO ME, FACE.
538
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,529
TELL ME WHAT PAM'S BRAIN
IS THINKING.
539
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,782
OH, COME ON,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
540
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:25,118
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
DO YOU WANT A MILLION DOLLARS?
541
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,453
DO YOU WANT TO HIT ME?
542
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,996
YOU WANT ME TO GET DOWN
ON ONE KNEE AND BEG YOU?
543
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,123
- I WANT TO HIT YOU.
- WHAT?
544
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,418
I WANT TO HIT YOU.
I'LL DO THAT.
545
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,420
[laughs]
OKAY. WHAT?
546
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,921
I DON'T--
ARE YOU KIDDING?
547
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,423
NO. ARE YOU KIDDING?
548
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,091
YE--NO. I DON'T--
549
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,718
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
550
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,345
I'LL TAKE OFF MY JACKET
AND TENSE MY STOMACH,
551
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,888
AND YOU JUST...
552
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:48,933
NO, I DON'T THINK
I CAN HIT YOU IN THE OFFICE.
553
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,019
OKAY.
554
00:21:51,061 --> 00:21:52,145
SO WE'LL DO IT
AFTER WORK.
555
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:53,980
- HMM?
- IN THE PARKING LOT.
556
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,274
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
557
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,942
I'M GONNA HIT YOU
AS HARD AS I CAN.
558
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,819
OKAY.
559
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:00,695
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
560
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:03,114
- SEE YOU THEN.
- SEE YOU.
561
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:06,993
[knock on door]
562
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,036
- HEY.
- HI.
563
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,954
- QUICK QUESTION.
- YEAH.
564
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:11,247
ARE YOU SCARED?
565
00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:14,459
NEVER.
ABOUT WHAT?
566
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:15,877
A LITTLE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
567
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,962
- WE HEARD ABOUT THE PUNCH.
- WHAT PUNCH?
568
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,714
PAM. SHE'S GONNA PUNCH
THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR FACE
569
00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,049
AFTER WORK.
570
00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,218
I'M PRETTY SURE
WE SAID "SLAP."
571
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,636
NO, IT'S A PUNCH.
572
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,137
AND PAM HAS THAT CRAZY
PREGNANCY STRENGTH NOW.
573
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:29,015
I'M GETTING CONCERNED THAT
YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
574
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,558
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
575
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,351
DO YOU?
576
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:34,145
UH...I'M GOOD.
577
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,271
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU THERE.
578
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:36,981
[knock on glass]
579
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,108
- HEY.
- HEY.
580
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,984
DO YOU AND PAM EVER
GET FRISKY?
581
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,903
INAPPROPRIATE.
582
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,780
I MEAN, DO YOU EVER WRESTLE
WITH EACH OTHER?
583
00:22:43,822 --> 00:22:44,614
ALL THE TIME.
584
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:46,408
REALLY?
IS SHE STRONG?
585
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,493
- SHE WANTS IT BAD, MICHAEL.
- CAN YOU STOP THIS?
586
00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:51,037
- I CAN.
- OKAY.
587
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:52,831
AND I DON'T SUPPORT
HER CHOICE TO HIT YOU.
588
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:53,998
I DON'T EITHER.
589
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,625
BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
SHE GOES CRAZY.
590
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:59,004
AND I DO UNDERSTAND
HER REASONING.
591
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,255
MM-HMM. I KNOW.
592
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,132
I JUST NEED SOME TIME.
593
00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:03,049
GIVE ME SOME TIME
TO THINK ABOUT IT.
594
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,300
YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
595
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,677
GIVE ME SOME TIME
TO MAKE A DECISION.
596
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,512
- HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU NEED?
- NO MORE THAN A WEEK.
597
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:08,763
- MAYBE TWO.
- COME ON, MAN!
598
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:10,640
PAM, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?
599
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,976
- OH--
- UM, I HEARD ABOUT THE HIT.
600
00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:14,853
JUST TO BE SURE, IT'S OFF
COMPANY PROPERTY, RIGHT?
601
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:15,854
- RIGHT.
- OKAY.
602
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,063
I THINK IT SHOULD PROBABLY
BE OKAY.
603
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,024
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
604
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,568
AND...
605
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:25,238
THE--THE POWER COMES
FROM THE BACK FOOT.
606
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,492
SO IT'S ALL ONE MOTION
THROUGH THE BODY.
607
00:23:29,534 --> 00:23:31,870
SO THERE'S--
YOU STAY A LITTLE LOW.
608
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,372
THERE'S A TWIST.
YOU KEEP YOUR SHOULDER DOWN.
609
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:36,666
YOU KIND OF THROW OUT
THE ARM.
610
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:38,084
POW.
611
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,836
OKAY, WAIT. IT'S--
612
00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:43,048
YOU'RE SAYING
IT COMES FROM THE FOOT?
613
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,800
- YES.
- OKAY.
614
00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:47,469
- YEAH. OKAY.
- [chuckles]
615
00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:48,845
AND I'M PICKING
MY DAUGHTER UP LATE
616
00:23:48,887 --> 00:23:50,680
SO I DON'T MISS THIS.
617
00:23:51,389 --> 00:23:53,600
HEY, EVERYBODY,
HE'S NOT IN THE MEN'S ROOM,
618
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:56,227
ALTHOUGH THE SEAT WAS WARM,
SO WE MAY HAVE JUST MISSED HIM.
619
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,937
MY MONEY'S ON PAM.
620
00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:58,980
IT'S NOT A FIGHT.
621
00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:00,398
WHAT OTHER OUTCOME
COULD THERE BE?
622
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,441
MICHAEL COULD WIN.
623
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,485
HOW?
HE CAN'T HIS BACK.
624
00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:06,029
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST
AGREE WITH ME SOMETIMES?
625
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:08,907
AM I SCARED OF GETTING
HIT IN THE FACE? NO.
626
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,327
EVERY DAY, WEIRDOS PAY
DOMINATRICES HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS
627
00:24:12,369 --> 00:24:14,079
FOR THAT VERY PRIVILEGE.
628
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,915
I'M SCARED I'M GONNA LOVE IT.
629
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:17,916
LET'S DO THIS!
630
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,418
IT'S OKAY, GUYS,
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
631
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,212
EVERYBODY CAN GO HOME.
632
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:23,713
WE'RE HERE FOR THE SHOW, MICHAEL.
633
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,924
YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH
OF VOYEURS.
634
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,760
- ARE YOU EATING POPCORN?
- IT HAS ALMOST NO CALORIES.
635
00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:29,678
YOU READY?
636
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:31,763
[clears throat]
YES.
637
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:34,099
YOU HAVE TO KEEP
YOUR HANDS DOWN, MICHAEL.
638
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,851
I KNOW.
639
00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:37,936
WHEW, OKAY.
640
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,980
ALL RIGHT.
641
00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:41,898
- NO! GOD!
- MICHAEL!
642
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,066
YOU HAVE TO KEEP
YOUR HANDS DOWN.
643
00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:44,651
PUT YOUR HANDS
IN YOUR POCKETS.
644
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:48,822
OKAY.
645
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:54,828
PAM! PAM...
646
00:24:54,869 --> 00:24:56,996
I'M REALLY SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
647
00:24:57,038 --> 00:24:58,123
WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?
648
00:24:58,164 --> 00:24:59,457
SO MANY THINGS.
649
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:00,709
I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S HARD TO CHOOSE.
650
00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:02,043
HOW 'BOUT FOR DATING MY MOM.
651
00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:03,128
MAYBE THAT'S--
652
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,671
AND DUMPING HER
ON HER BIRTHDAY.
653
00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:05,880
YES.
654
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:11,636
OKAY, JUST...
655
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:16,057
DON'T EVER DATE A MEMBER
OF MY FAMILY AGAIN.
656
00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:19,936
OKAY.
NO PROBLEM.
657
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:22,981
FOR THE RECORD,
YOUR MOM CAME ON TO ME.
658
00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:24,065
[all gasp]
659
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:25,984
HOLY CRAP!
660
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:30,030
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- NO!
661
00:25:30,071 --> 00:25:33,074
YOU'RE OKAY.
662
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:34,159
FEEL BETTER?
663
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,326
NO. YOU WERE RIGHT.
664
00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:36,745
- DID YOU GET THE HIT?
- I GOT IT.
665
00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:38,371
WHAT IS THAT,
THEIR FEET?
666
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:40,707
YEP, IT'S WHAT I FOUND
MORE INTERESTING.
667
00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:42,500
I THINK IT REALLY TELLS
THE STORY BETTER.
668
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:45,295
THOSE ARE MY SHOES.
669
00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:46,504
OH, DAMN IT.
670
00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:47,881
THAT'S LAME.
671
00:25:50,842 --> 00:25:52,218
WAIT, WHY ARE YOU LIMPING?
672
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:53,678
I DON'T KNOW.
673
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,472
LET'S GET SOME RAW MEAT
ON THAT FACE.
674
00:25:55,513 --> 00:25:57,474
I'VE GOT A CHICKEN
IN THE FREEZER UPSTAIRS.
675
00:25:57,515 --> 00:26:00,518
AS I WATCHED PAM'S BIG,
STRONG HAND
676
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,103
COMING TOWARD MY FACE,
677
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,523
I SAW MY ENTIRE LIFE FLASH
BEFORE MY EYES.
678
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:09,069
AND GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE FOUR KIDS.
679
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:12,781
AND I HAVE A HOVER-CAR
AND A HOVER-HOUSE.
680
00:26:12,822 --> 00:26:16,576
AND MY WIFE IS A RUNNER,
AND IT SHOWS.
681
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,620
AND PAM AND JIM ARE
MY BEST FRIENDS,
682
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:20,872
AND OUR KIDS PLAY TOGETHER.
683
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:26,086
AND I AM HAPPY,
AND I'M RICH,
684
00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:29,214
AND I NEVER DIE.
685
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:32,717
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH,
BUT IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.
686
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:37,222
- OW.
- GOOD, GOOD.
687
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:38,348
JUST KEEP IT ON THERE
FOR ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES.
688
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:39,933
LET THE SWELLING GO DOWN.
689
00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:41,559
OH, THANK YOU.
690
00:26:41,601 --> 00:26:46,272
THANKS.
I OWE YOU ONE, DWIGHT.
691
00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:48,817
- FIRE JIM.
- NO.
692
00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:51,027
I'M CASHING IN THE FAVOR.
FIRE HIM!
693
00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:52,028
- WHAT ARE YOU TALK--
- DO IT!
694
00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:53,988
PROMOTE ME.
TRI-MANAGERS?
695
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,532
- FORGET THAT.
- CAN I HAVE AN OFFICE?
696
00:26:55,573 --> 00:26:56,825
- NO.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
697
00:26:56,866 --> 00:26:58,076
YOU CAN KEEP
YOUR STUPID FAVOR.
698
00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:59,160
IT'S WORTHLESS.
699
00:26:59,202 --> 00:27:00,620
AND THIS IS MY DINNER
ON YOUR FACE.
700
00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:03,289
I'M KEEPING IT!
701
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:06,710
OH, THAT FEELS BETTER.
50023
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