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1
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,052
PAM AND JIM'S WEDDING
2
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,555
WILL BE THE SINGLE BEST
PICKUP DESTINATION
3
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,182
IN THE HISTORY
OF THE UNIVERSE.
4
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,977
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT NO ONE SAY ANYTHING
5
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,395
ABOUT MY PREGNANCY
AT THE WEDDING.
6
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,855
ABSOLUTELY.
7
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,940
HEY. I GOT THE ROOM
THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU GUYS.
8
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,818
I'LL BREAK IN THE BED.
[chuckles]
9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,821
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
10
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,489
- I DON'T HAVE A ROOM?
- NO, YOU DO NOT.
11
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,367
HOW DID MEREDITH GET PUT
AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE'S TABLE?
12
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,995
SHE PROBABLY
SWITCHED CARDS WITH SOMEONE.
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,373
- LIKE I DID WITH ERIN.
- WHAT?
14
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,125
I WOULD LIKE
TO PROPOSE A TOAST.
15
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,169
SO IF YOU'D ALL
RAISE YOUR GLASSES--
16
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,670
NOT PAM,
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS,
17
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,921
BUT EVERYONE ELSE,
18
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,131
IF YOU WOULD
RAISE YOUR GLASSES...
19
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,176
- WHY CAN'T PAM DRINK?
- PAM CAN'T DRINK?
20
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,011
WHO--I DIDN'T--
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.
21
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,555
- PAM'S PREGNANT.
- [clears throat loudly]
22
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,015
OKAY. OKAY, OKAY.
23
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,517
YOU CAN'T EXPECT THEM
24
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,228
TO BE CAREFUL EVERY TIME,
25
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,940
BECAUSE, FRANKLY, IT'S JUST
A DIFFERENT SENSATION.
26
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:07,734
TO WAITING.
27
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,569
- TO WAITING.
- OKAY.
28
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,572
[cheerful music]
29
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:19,746
{\an8}♪ ♪
30
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,759
[whispering] OK.
31
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,512
[chuckles]
32
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:38,098
[clears throat]
HELLO.
33
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,432
HI.
34
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,142
BEAUTIFUL NIGHT OUT, HUH?
35
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:44,729
I DON'T KNOW.
THERE ARE NO WINDOWS IN HERE.
36
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,064
SAFER THAT WAY.
37
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,066
MY NAME'S MICHAEL.
THIS IS MY FRIEND DWIGHT.
38
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:53,321
HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?
39
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,572
WHAT WAS THAT?
40
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,241
AMISH CURTSY.
41
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,994
DONE BY A MAN FOR A WOMAN
WHEN HE FINDS HER COMELY.
42
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,247
BARKEEP,
43
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,375
WHAT VEGETABLE WINES
DO YOU HAVE?
44
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,544
- GOOD. IT'S GOOD.
- NO, IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.
45
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,629
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A GOOD HAIRPIECE.
46
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,382
YEAH, BUT THAT'S EASY ENOUGH
FOR YOU TO SAY, OSCAR.
47
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,425
YOU HAVE THAT THICK,
48
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,553
BEAUTIFUL, CHICANO HAIR.
49
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:20,724
SO NICE.
50
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,851
REALLY?
51
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,019
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
52
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,270
WHY CAN'T WE BE TOGETHER?
53
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,772
DON'T PET ME LIKE
I'M A PERSIAN CAT.
54
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,441
- COME HERE.
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
55
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,859
- ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BIG GUY.
- [KISSES]
56
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,777
OH--
57
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,614
- WE'RE NOT--
- [chuckles]
58
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,991
HI.
59
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:42,120
WHY DO YOU CONSTANTLY
REJECT ME?
60
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,540
TOY STORY,
FINDING NEMO, UP,
61
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,501
I BAWL THE ENTIRE TIME.
I CAN NOT WATCH PIXAR.
62
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,461
- MICHAEL.
- YES.
63
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,879
- DROP THIS ONE. ABORT.
- WHY?
64
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,673
I FOUND TWINS.
65
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,134
OH, MY GOD. TWINS.
66
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,635
I'M SORRY.
YOU UNDERSTAND.
67
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,180
NICE TO MEET YOU.
68
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:06,102
AREN'T THEY MAGNIFICENT?
69
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,104
THEY'RE MEN, DWIGHT.
70
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,023
I LOVE FINDING
A GOOD SET OF TWINS.
71
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,025
SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH YOU.
72
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,651
IDENTICAL TWINS ARE AMAZING.
73
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:17,572
TO HAVE AN ORGAN DONOR
IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY.
74
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:22,827
TO BE AN ORGAN DONOR
IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY.
75
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,580
{\an8}[loud dance music]
76
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,873
{\an8}YEAH, MEREDITH!
77
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,500
{\an8}NICE MOVES!
78
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,085
{\an8}♪ ♪
79
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,087
I'M JUST WORRIED
ABOUT THE FARM, YOU KNOW?
80
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,422
MOSE HATES TO GELD
THE HORSES BY HIMSELF.
81
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,216
DWIGHT,
SHUT UP ABOUT THE FARM.
82
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,051
IT'S NOT RELATABLE.
NOBODY OWNS A FARM.
83
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,303
WAIT, YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT YOUR HORSES?
84
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,971
THAT'S COOL.
85
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,848
HOW MANY HORSES DO YOU HAVE?
86
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,600
NINE AND THREE QUARTERS.
87
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,687
I INVENTED A DEVICE
CALLED "BURGER ON THE GO."
88
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,856
IT ALLOWS YOU TO OBTAIN
SIX REGULAR-SIZED HAMBURGERS
89
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,066
OR 12 SLIDERS
90
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,651
FROM A HORSE
91
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,319
WITHOUT KILLING THE ANIMAL.
92
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,238
GEORGE FOREMAN IS STILL
CONSIDERING IT.
93
00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,739
SHARPER IMAGE IS STILL
CONSIDERING IT.
94
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,116
SKYMALL'S
STILL CONSIDERING IT.
95
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:04,452
HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER'S
STILL CONSIDERING IT.
96
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,413
SEARS SAID NO.
97
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:09,082
[loud dance music]
98
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,335
YEAH, MEREDITH!
NICE MOVES!
99
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,587
♪ ♪
100
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,965
YOU CALL THAT A ROBOT?
101
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,050
TRY BEING MORE ROBOTIC,
OKAY?
102
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,970
LIKE THIS.
103
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,054
OH.
104
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,140
LAME.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT, ANDY?
105
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:28,893
HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE BIT OF THIS?
106
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,604
OH, YEAH?
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
107
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,107
YEAH, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
108
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,401
DID SOMEONE CHANGE MY NAME
TO BASKIN ROBBINS?
109
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:40,572
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
A BANANA SPLIT.
110
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,365
WHOO!
111
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,408
AHH!
112
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,576
OH, OH, OH!
113
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,077
[screaming]
114
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,412
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
115
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,913
OH. ALL RIGHT.
116
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,914
EASY, EASY.
117
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,249
AAH!
118
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,084
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
119
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,253
[knocking]
PAM'S HERE.
120
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,588
[whispering] YOU'LL BE FINE.
121
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,589
PAM?
122
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,090
[knocks]
123
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,134
[gasping]
124
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,761
I WAS DANCING AND I DID A SPLIT
125
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,930
AND I LANDED ON MY CAR KEYS
IN MY POCKET.
126
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,098
WHAT?
127
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,224
I TORE MY SCROTUM.
128
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,061
I NEED YOU TO TAKE ME
TO THE HOSPITAL.
129
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,188
ANDY, I'M GETTING MARRIED
IN EIGHT HOURS.
130
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,731
EVERYONE ELSE IS TOO DRUNK.
131
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,107
JUST DON'T LET ME DIE HERE.
132
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,442
HEY, HEY. WHERE ARE YOU?
133
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,069
CAN YOU TAKE ANDY
TO THE HOSPITAL?
134
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,278
WHAT?
135
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,280
- HE TORE HIS SCROTUM DANCING.
- WHAT?
136
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324
HE IS IN MY ROOM,
ICING HIS BALLS.
137
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,576
- WHAT?
- PLEASE STOP SAYING "WHAT."
138
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:27,452
CAN YOU TAKE HIM?
139
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,079
LOOK, I WOULD SO TAKE HIM
140
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,205
IN ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCE,
141
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,373
BUT I'M PRETTY CERTAIN
142
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,665
I'M COMPLETELY WASTED.
143
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,501
YOUR BROTHERS
TOOK YOU OUT DRINKING?
144
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,127
- UH...
- IS THAT PAM?
145
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,754
HEY! HAVE HER COME OUT.
146
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,465
HAVE HER COME OUT!
IT'LL BE LIKE "COYOTE UGLY."
147
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,175
THAT'S MICHAEL.
YOU'RE OUT WITH MICHAEL?
148
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,219
- AND DWIGHT.
- HEY-O!
149
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:47,222
- PAM, IT JUST HAPPENED.
- OKAY, FINE. I'LL TAKE HIM.
150
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,099
I LOVE YOU.
OKAY, I GOT TO GO.
151
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,517
I LOVE YOU!
[snickers]
152
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,810
ARE YOU PUSHING ME
OFF THE PHONE?
153
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,978
NO.
LET'S TALK FOR A LONG TIME.
154
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,230
GOOD-BYE.
155
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,398
OH, A BUNCH OF US DECIDED TO
156
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,774
GO OVER THE BORDER TO CANADA
157
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,192
FOR ONE QUICK DRINK.
158
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,362
SO I'M IN A CAR WITH MICHAEL
AND DWIGHT.
159
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,197
WHEN WE GET TO THE BORDER,
160
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,032
DWIGHT REFUSES TO RELINQUISH
HIS SIDEARM
161
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,077
SO, 40 MINUTES LATER,
162
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,912
HERE WE ARE.
163
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,080
[slurps]
164
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:16,042
MM!
IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.
165
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,711
- YOU'RE MARRIED.
- OH!
166
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,004
HE'S MARRIED!
167
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,338
OH,
THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS.
168
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,257
- OH, MY GOD.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
169
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,633
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO TALK BACK.
170
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,051
YOU'LL HAVE PAM
TO ANSWER TO.
171
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,594
SHE'LL BE SITTING AT HOME SAYING,
172
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,638
"JIM, TAKE THE BABY
TO THE ZOO,
173
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,766
"'CAUSE I WANT TO SIT AT HOME
AND EAT BONBONS
174
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,185
AND--AND CLIP MY TOENAILS."
175
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,063
"JIM, HEY, WHY DON'T
YOU BRAID MY HAIR?
176
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,314
I WANT TO WATCH TV."
177
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,607
NOW YOU SOUND LIKE KERMIT.
178
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,609
ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY?
179
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,777
NOPE.
180
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,197
I, LIKE YOU, HAVE NEVER
BEEN HERE BEFORE.
181
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,658
WELL, AT LEAST
SLOW DOWN A LITTLE BIT,
182
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,869
BECAUSE EVERY LITTLE
BUMP IN THE ROAD
183
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,163
IS MAJOR PAIN ON...
184
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,372
MY SCROTUM.
185
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,790
LOOK, I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO ASKED YOU
186
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,709
TO DO A SPLIT WHEN
YOU'VE NEVER DONE ONE BEFORE.
187
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,210
NO, NO, I WAS TRYING
TO LIVEN THINGS UP
188
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,420
A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?
189
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,880
I WAS KIND OF
DOING YOUR JOB, SO...
190
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,089
"MY JOB"?
191
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,133
MY JOB IS TO GET MARRIED
IN THE MORNING.
192
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,259
THAT'S MY JOB.
193
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,719
WELL,
IT'S ALSO TO MAKE SURE
194
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,848
WE HAVE A GREAT TIME AT
YOUR STUPID WEDDING, SO...
195
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,892
[tires squealing]
OW. OW!
196
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,019
I ACTUALLY AM REALLY JEALOUS
197
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,813
OF THE FACT THAT YOU ARE
MARRYING ANYONE.
198
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:19,898
I WOULD MARRY ANYONE.
199
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,524
NOT ME.
200
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,569
SHE'D HAVE TO HAVE PROPERTY
AT LEAST AS FERTILE AS MY FARM.
201
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,571
I'D MARRY YOU.
YOU WANNA GET MARRIED?
202
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,073
LET'S GO. LET'S GO GET MARRIED.
203
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,617
- NO.
- ALL RIGHT.
204
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,410
WE DON'T HAVE TO.
205
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,509
[indistinct TV chatter]
206
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,637
[soft lounge music playing]
207
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:57,644
♪ ♪
208
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,572
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY
BUT DWIGHT SCORED
209
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,282
AND IT LOOKS LIKE I
AM NOT GOING TO BE
210
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,410
SLEEPING WITH ANYONE TONIGHT.
211
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:17,122
SEEMS LIKE I WILL NOT BE
SLEEPING IN A BED TONIGHT.
212
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,625
BUT I KNOW THAT SOMEDAY
213
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,128
I WILL BE IN ONE OF THESE
BUTT-SHAPED TUBS
214
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,588
AND I WILL NOT BE ALONE.
215
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,756
I KNOW IT.
216
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,718
[ice clattering]
217
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,053
[birds chirping]
218
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,014
[snickers]
219
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,390
[whispering] JUST SPENT
THE NIGHT WITH THE BRIDE
220
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,352
THE NIGHT BEFORE
THE WEDDING. OH, YEAH.
221
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,520
SHE STEPPED ON MY HAND
222
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,813
ON HER WAY
TO THE BATHROOM, SO...
223
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,856
ANDY, DID I DREAM THAT
224
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,650
YOU WERE CRYING
THROUGH THE NIGHT?
225
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,529
NO.
NO, THAT WAS REAL.
226
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,453
WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE A PICTURE?
227
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,662
IT'LL LAST LONGER.
228
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,913
GOD.
229
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,623
CAN I GET
A LITTLE PRIVACY?
230
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,800
[bell dings loudly]
231
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,635
GOOD MORNING.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
232
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,721
I LEFT
A PAIR OF DRESS SHOES
233
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,015
IN A BAG
OUTSIDE MY DOOR LAST NIGHT
234
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,683
TO BE CLEANED AND POLISHED,
235
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,019
BUT THEY HAVEN'T
BEEN RETURNED YET.
236
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,645
YOU MUST BE MR. MALONE.
237
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,898
- ONE MOMENT PLEASE.
- THANK YOU.
238
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,567
[whispering] SIR, THIS IS
THE MAN WITH THE SHOES.
239
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,864
MR. MALONE,
YOUR SHOES ARE GONE.
240
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,282
THEY WERE STOLEN?
241
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,784
NO, DESTROYED.
242
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,951
WHAT?
243
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,204
WHEN THE BAG WAS OPENED
BY OUR SHOESHINE,
244
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,914
THE SMELL OVERCAME HIM.
245
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,123
I, TOO, SMELLED THEM
246
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,583
AND MADE THE CHOICE
247
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,378
THAT THEY MUST BE THROWN AWAY.
248
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,837
INCINERATED, ACTUALLY.
249
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,298
BUT THAT WAS MY ONLY
PAIR OF SHOES.
250
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,885
IT BECAME
A SAFETY ISSUE, SIR.
251
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,971
WELL, DAMN IT.
252
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,808
I CAN OFFER YOU
A COMPLIMENTARY BREAKFAST.
253
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,644
OKAY.
254
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,188
- YOU HAVE EVERYTHING?
- MM-HMM.
255
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,981
CELL PHONE? CHARGER?
256
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,566
- YEAH.
- MM-HMM.
257
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,943
SO SURE YOU DON'T
WANT BREAKFAST?
258
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,486
IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT
MEAL OF THE DAY.
259
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,862
IT REALLY IS.
260
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:13,988
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
261
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,198
I ATE A WHOLE BUNCH
OF SUNFLOWER SEEDS
262
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,700
AFTER YOU WENT TO SLEEP.
263
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:17,867
AND BESIDES,
264
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,369
I WOULDN'T WANT TO
TAKE YOU AWAY FROM PAM
265
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,995
ON THE MORNING OF HER WEDDING.
266
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,497
SHE NEEDS YOU, ISABEL.
267
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,457
- THAT'S REALLY SWEET, DWIGHT.
- OH.
268
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,625
SO I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE WEDDING?
269
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,835
- YOU KNOW IT.
- 'KAY.
270
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,420
[moans softly]
271
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,921
OKAY.
GET OUT OF HERE.
272
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,506
- BYE.
- OKAY?
273
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,299
HEY.
GOOD MORNING.
274
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,759
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.
275
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,095
I HAVEN'T GONE TO THE BATHROOM
IN A DAY AND A HALF.
276
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,888
OH, MY GOD, DWIGHT!
277
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,181
THIS ROOM IS A PIT.
278
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,599
REALLY?
HADN'T NOTICED.
279
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,476
TOO BUSY KNOCKIN' BOOTS.
280
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,106
[slurping]
281
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,108
HOW CAN YOU EAT LIKE THAT?
282
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,652
I'M RAVENOUS
AFTER A NIGHT OF LOVEMAKING.
283
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:53,570
YOU?
284
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,863
YEAH, I'M HUNGRY,
285
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:55,947
BUT I'M NOT GONNA MAKE
A PIG OUT OF MYSELF.
286
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,116
HEY, WHAT WAS SHE LIKE?
287
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,159
SHE WAS CUTE.
288
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,910
YOU KNOW, SHE WAS HOT.
289
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,704
SHE WAS VERY HOT.
290
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,622
SHE MADE LOVE LIKE A TIGER.
291
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,292
BRIDE SIDE OR GROOM SIDE?
OR TOWNIE?
292
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,460
SHE WAS FROM EUROPE.
293
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,462
- NO KIDDING.
- UH-HUH. I KNOW.
294
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,880
- BET SHE HAD HAIRY ARMPITS.
- NO.
295
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:12,756
ISABEL WAS NICE,
296
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,175
BUT I HOPE SHE DOESN'T THINK
297
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,552
THIS IS GOING ANYWHERE.
298
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,220
WAIT A SECOND.
YOU'RE NOT INTO HER?
299
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,473
LOOK, SHE'S A DENTAL
HYGIENIST FROM CARBONDALE,
300
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,599
AND SHE MAKES LOVE LIKE ONE.
301
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,309
SHE'S A BUMPKIN. PASS.
302
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,643
SHE'S--OKAY.
303
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,270
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS
TO BE A HYGIENIST?
304
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,730
YOU HAVE TO TAKE X-RAYS.
305
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,815
YOU HAVE TO SCRAPE THE PLAQUE
OFF OF PEOPLE'S TEETH.
306
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,484
YOU HAVE TO TELL KIDS
WHEN TO SPIT
307
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,735
AND MAKE SURE THAT
THEY'RE NOT SCARED
308
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,153
WHEN THE DENTIST COMES IN.
309
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,654
IT--IT--
310
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,698
YOU SHOULD ASK HER OUT.
311
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,868
I ALREADY HAVE
MY EUROPEAN GIRLFRIEND.
312
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,251
IF YOUR HAT HITS ME
IN THE FACE ONE MORE TIME...
313
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,586
THAT'S FUNNY.
314
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:55,173
YOUR WIFE LOVED THIS HAT
THE LAST TIME SHE SAW IT.
315
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,016
OH, MY GOD.
316
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,893
OH.
317
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,604
OSCAR. ANGELA.
318
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:17,445
WAIT. DO YOU TWO WANT TO
SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER?
319
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,115
WAIT, WAS THAT
YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?
320
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,242
I SAW THE FUNNIEST COMEDIAN
ONE MORNING.
321
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,412
HER NAME IS KELLY RIPA.
SHE'S UNRESTRAINED.
322
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:29,457
[chuckling]
SHE WILL SAY ANYTHING.
323
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,918
ARE YOU IN A LOT OF PAIN?
324
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,586
OH, 'CAUSE OF LAST NIGHT?
325
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,713
NO WAY.
326
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,048
REPORTS HAVE BEEN EXAGGERATED.
327
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,134
WEDDINGS MAKE ME
VERY EMOTIONAL.
328
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,385
I, UH,
329
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,970
I JUST HAVE THAT SIDE TO ME.
330
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,389
YEAH, PEOPLE SAY
YOU CRY ALL THE TIME.
331
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:47,559
WELL, THAT'S...NOT...
332
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,186
CROTCH INJURIES
ARE THE WORST.
333
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,522
YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME.
334
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:53,982
I WASN'T TELLING YOU.
335
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,316
THERE'S STILL
SOMETHING THERE?
336
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,485
EXCUSE ME?
337
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,821
THEY DIDN'T GET TORN OFF?
338
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,156
NO, THEY DIDN'T--
339
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:02,615
NOTHING GOT TORN OFF.
340
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,701
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
341
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:07,328
I MAY HAVE TOLD
SOME PEOPLE THAT.
342
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,455
I'M NERVOUS.
343
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,415
I'M ABOUT TO GET MARRIED.
344
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,209
IF YOU WANT
TO SIT ON THIS...
345
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:14,336
I WAS THINKING THE WOOD
346
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,255
MIGHT BE TOO HARD
ON YOUR DAMAGED PENIS.
347
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,215
MAKE IT SOFTER.
348
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,261
IT'S MY SCROTUM.
349
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,638
UM, AND IT WAS.
350
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,639
THANK YOU.
351
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,224
SURE.
352
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,231
OH. HERE WE GO.
353
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,441
THEY ASKED FOR CASH,
354
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,693
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I GIVE 'EM CASH EVERY WEEK.
355
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,321
SO HOW MUCH CASH
DOES A PERSON NEED?
356
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:43,281
I HAVE TAKEN IT UPON MYSELF
357
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,158
TO DO SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE SPECIAL.
358
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,118
I HAVE PAINTED A PORTRAIT
OF THE TWO OF THEM
359
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,037
FROM MEMORY.
360
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,793
AND I HAVE ANOTHER ONE
OF THEM IN THE NUDE.
361
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,254
BUT THAT ONE IS FOR ME.
362
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,178
I GOT THEM A SET
OF TURTLE-BOILING POTS,
363
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,221
SHELL HAMMER,
364
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,056
AND BIBS.
365
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,226
IS IT ZIPPING
OVER YOUR BELLY?
366
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,477
DON'T SQUISH THE BABY.
367
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,770
THANK YOU, WEIRDO.
368
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,940
EVERYBODY SEE KRISTY'S
STUPID, BLOND EXTENSIONS?
369
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,275
IT'S LIKE THEY WERE MADE
FROM A PLASTIC BROOM.
370
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,819
OKAY, HERE I COME.
371
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,738
- OH, PAM.
- OH, DARLING,
372
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,824
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
373
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,575
THANKS, MOM.
374
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,452
I HOPE HE DESERVES YOU.
375
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,663
- HE DOES.
- ARE YOU SURE?
376
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,248
REMEMBER,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
377
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,624
YOU DON'T.
378
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,376
MOM, YOU'RE TOTALLY
PROJECTING AND BEING A DRAG.
379
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,877
YES.
THANK YOU, MOM.
380
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,170
HEY, UM,
I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE
381
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,922
- AND TALK TO DWIGHT.
- OH, OKAY.
382
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,591
GREAT. YEAH,
I'LL SEE YOU IN A SECOND.
383
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,718
WAIT, WHAT?
384
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,636
[fabric tearing]
OH!
385
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,097
OH, NO.
386
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,102
[cell phone rings]
387
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:54,978
HEY.
388
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,354
CAN YOU COME HERE PLEASE?
389
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,023
IS THIS ALLOWED?
390
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,858
NO, NO. BUT I'M ALLOWING IT.
391
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,318
JUST COME HERE.
392
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,155
[clears throat]
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
393
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,240
IT'S NOT A SEAT.
IT'S A BENCH.
394
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,617
I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOUR HOT ASS IS SITTING ON.
395
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,744
I JUST WANT TO BE NEAR IT.
396
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,370
- RYAN!
- WE'RE IN CHURCH.
397
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,372
- YOU ARE BOTH SO HORRIBLE.
- OH, YEAH?
398
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,457
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WHAT?
399
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,751
BOTH OF YOU GO SIT
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
400
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,377
FINE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
401
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,796
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
ARE WE GONNA RUN AWAY TOGETHER?
402
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,591
WE'RE GONNA GO HOOK UP
IN THE BATHROOM.
403
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,134
YOU ARE SO LUCKY
404
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,471
TO HAVE A COUSIN LIKE
JIM HALPERT. [chuckles]
405
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,933
I WISH I HAD A COUSIN AS COOL
AS JIM HALPERT. [chuckles]
406
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,978
I HAVE MOSE WHO'S WAY COOLER
THAN JIM.
407
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,564
YOU JUST TELL GIRLS
WHAT THEY WANNA HEAR,
408
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,649
THAT WAS
AN INTELLIGENT COMMENT.
409
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,193
HELLO, STRANGER.
410
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,194
HOW DO I LOOK?
411
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,612
OH. FINE.
412
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:49,157
ISABEL, NICE TO SEE YOU.
413
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,785
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
414
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,204
UM, NOTHING...
415
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,497
ANYMORE.
416
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,124
SO, UH, TELL ME AGAIN THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
417
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:01,711
FILENE'S AND FILENE'S BASEMENT.
418
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,796
HEY. HEY.
419
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,340
HE'S NOT SITTING
WITH ME, EITHER.
420
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:08,176
WHERE ARE YOU SITTING?
YOU GONNA NEED A SEAT BUDDY?
421
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,678
I'M STANDING.
I'M A BRIDESMAID.
422
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:13,348
OH.
I WISH I WAS A BRIDESMAID.
423
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,350
WHERE AM I GONNA GO?
424
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,769
HEY.
425
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,730
WOW.
426
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:21,731
YOU LOOK...
427
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:22,941
TERRIBLE.
428
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,068
SO BEAUTIFUL.
429
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,030
HEY.
430
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,408
[tearfully]
MY VEIL TORE.
431
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,744
I KNEW WHEN
WE WERE GETTING MARRIED
432
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,287
AND I'M FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT
433
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,580
THAT I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO WEAR
434
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,541
THE DRESS THAT I ALWAYS WANTED,
435
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,209
OR HIGH HEELS.
436
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,711
HEY.
437
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,547
YOU LOOK
JUST AS I IMAGINED YOU.
438
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,257
PAM, YOU'RE SO PRETTY.
439
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,553
[flatly] THANK YOU.
440
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,471
AND WHO CARES?
441
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,016
IT'S A STUPID VEIL, RIGHT?
442
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,684
NO, THIS IS THE ONE THING
443
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,436
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE
TO CONTROL
444
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,771
WAS THIS VEIL.
445
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:02,981
THERE.
446
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,441
NOW WE'RE EVEN.
447
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:23,376
EVERYONE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
448
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:26,838
[crying] I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH
ABOUT ANDY'S SCROTUM,
449
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,506
AND MY MOM
WON'T STOP FREAKING OUT
450
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,968
ABOUT MY DAD'S NEW GIRLFRIEND.
451
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,930
UGH. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE
OUR WEDDING DAY.
452
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,975
WHY DID WE INVITE
ALL THESE PEOPLE?
453
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,063
[sniffles]
454
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:56,993
I THINK PAM RAN AWAY BECAUSE
SHE KNEW DEEP DOWN
455
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,912
- SHE WOULDN'T BE A GOOD WIFE.
- YES.
456
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,081
[humming nervously]
457
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:02,415
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
458
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,209
I'M TRYING TO DECIDE
IF I HAVE TIME TO PEE.
459
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,585
HOW LONG
DO YOU TAKE TO PEE?
460
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,796
THE PEEING IS FAST, OSCAR.
461
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,090
IT'S GETTING MY TIE BACK ON.
462
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,719
HEY. HI.
463
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,181
DO YOU--WOULD YOU HAVE A SNACK
IN YOUR PURSE?
464
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,141
YOU'RE A MOM.
I JUST FIGURED YOU MIGHT HAVE--
465
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,976
- YEAH.
- OH.
466
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,520
OOH, APRICOT.
467
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:24,938
DO YOU HAVE ANY
OF THE VERY BERRY
468
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,107
- OR OCEAN SPLASH, OR--?
- NO.
469
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,733
OH. OKAY.
470
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,068
WERE YOU SAVING IT?
471
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,569
OH, NO, NO. THAT'S OKAY.
472
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,155
I JUST, UH...
473
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,658
I'VE HAD A VERY ROUGH WEEKEND.
474
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,618
OH. I'M SORRY.
475
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,371
UGH.
476
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,289
APRICOT. MADE OF REAL APES.
477
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,584
DO YOU THINK
THEY CANCELLED THE WEDDING?
478
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,379
RELAX.
YOU'LL GET YOUR SHOT AT JIM.
479
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:50,588
THOSE TWO
TREAT THE WHOLE OFFICE
480
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,465
LIKE A 1970s KEY PARTY.
481
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,178
HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE GIVE
THEM BEFORE WE LEAVE?
482
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,596
THIS IS YET ANOTHER REASON
483
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,683
WHY OUR WEDDING WAS SO MUCH
BETTER THAN THIS ONE.
484
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,810
OOH, THAT'S A TWITTER.
485
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,395
WHY WAS YOUR WEEKEND SO BAD?
486
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,856
- I WAS RECENTLY DIVORCED...
- OH.
487
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,733
FROM THAT GUY BACK THERE,
488
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,652
AND MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING
SEEMS TO BE FALLING APART.
489
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:15,155
OH, IT'LL BE FINE.
490
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,990
MY WEEKEND'S BAD SO FAR.
491
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:18,908
OH.
492
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,827
I CAME HERE
HOPING TO MEET SOMEBODY.
493
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:24,456
YOU KNOW,
AS YOU DO AT WEDDINGS.
494
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:28,418
END UP GOING TO SLEEP
BY THE VENDING MACHINE.
495
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,753
IT WAS LOUD BUT IT WAS WARM.
496
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,087
OH, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.
497
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,965
AND--
AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
498
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,216
IS DATING SOMEBODY ELSE.
499
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,927
- OH.
- IT'S JUST...
500
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,971
IT IS A TERRIBLE YEAR FOR LOVE.
501
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,598
YEAH.
502
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,058
I GUESS IT IS.
503
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,020
THINKING ABOUT
HAVING MY SPERM FROZEN.
504
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,646
EXCUSE ME,
ARE YOU MICHAEL SCOTT?
505
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,273
UM, YEAH.
506
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,150
HEARD YOU MIGHT HAVE
A WHOOPEE CUSHION ON YOU.
507
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,151
OUR SISTER'S IN THE CAN,
508
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,152
AND WE TOTALLY WANT TO GET HER
509
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,320
WHEN SHE COMES BACK.
510
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,989
OH. WOW.
THAT SOUNDS HILARIOUS.
511
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:00,033
I DO, ACTUALLY.
[both laughing]
512
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,326
THERE YOU GO.
USE IT IN GOOD HEALTH.
513
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,161
- YES!
- [imitates explosion]
514
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,412
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
515
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,414
WHAT IS THE ETIQUETTE
ON TAKING THE GIFTS?
516
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,874
CAN YOU ONLY TAKE
YOUR OWN BACK,
517
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,501
OR IS IT
A WHATEVER-YOU-CAN-CARRY
518
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,710
TYPE OF THING?
519
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,003
ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING THEY
WANT TO TRADE
520
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,380
FOR A TOASTER?
521
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,423
DOES IT HAVE
SLOTS FOR HOT DOGS?
522
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,800
NO.
523
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,218
WHO WOULD WANT IT?
524
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,387
GUYS, MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT
A LITTLE MORE TIME
525
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,013
BEFORE WE START GRABBING BOXES.
526
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,683
OH, THEY JUST TEXTED US
527
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,185
AND THEY SAID WE SHOULD GRAB
THIS LOOT AND GET OUT OF HERE.
528
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:30,021
THEY TEXTED YOU?
529
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,731
WHERE'S YOUR CELL?
530
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,566
OH, WELL, I, UH--
531
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:37,237
I DON'T HAVE A CELL BUT--
I NEVER FELT THE NEED FOR ONE.
532
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,619
GODDAMNIT, I DON'T NEED
ANOTHER CHAMPAGNE FLUTE.
533
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,456
- TOBY.
- DWIGHT.
534
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,083
I'D LIKE TO LODGE
A FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST JIM
535
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,085
FOR MAKING US WAIT
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
536
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,504
GOD.
537
00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:56,339
CRAP.
538
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,263
COME HERE, YOU.
539
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,723
GET IN THERE.
540
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,976
WELL, I GUESS THIS WEDDING
IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
541
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:09,310
WONDER IF THIS IS IT FOR THEM.
542
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:11,438
- [laughs]
- PERFECT.
543
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,941
- HEY, WHAT HAPPENED?
- WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?
544
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,651
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG
I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE?
545
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,403
WELL, WE ARE HERE NOW,
546
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,071
- SO LET'S GO.
- YES! YES!
547
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,197
[claps]
548
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:23,283
I HAVE SO MUCH JOY
549
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:25,243
IN MY HEART RIGHT NOW.
550
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,411
HOW DO I LOOK?
551
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,913
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
- YOU LOOK GREAT.
552
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,624
[organ playing]
553
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:33,960
WEAR A TIE MUCH?
554
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:40,800
♪ ♪
555
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,897
[music stops]
556
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,528
[Chris Brown's Forever plays]
557
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,697
- YEAH!
- AH, BRO!
558
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,615
OH, BOY.
559
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,908
* ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR ♪
560
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:08,661
♪ ♪
561
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,163
- [sighs]
- I BEGGED THEM NOT TO.
562
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:11,456
MM-HMM.
563
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,916
I KNOW YOU SPECIFICALLY
PUT THIS SONG
564
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:13,958
ON YOUR "DO NOT PLAY" LIST.
565
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:14,959
YES, I DID.
566
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,379
I'M SORRY.
567
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,464
GO AHEAD.
I THINK IT'S YOUR TURN.
568
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,383
WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS?
569
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,093
YEAH, I'M OKAY.
570
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:25,261
OKAY THEN.
571
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:26,638
HEY, PAM.
572
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,139
DID YOU SEE THIS?
IT WAS ON YOUTUBE.
573
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,100
SAW IT.
574
00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:32,477
[laughs]
575
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:36,564
* ...YOU'LL JOIN ME
IN THE MIDDLE OF ECSTASY ♪
576
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:38,400
♪ FEEL THE MELODY ♪
577
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:42,487
♪ AND THE RHYTHM OF THE MUSIC
AROUND YOU ♪
578
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:45,407
♪ AROUND YOU ♪
579
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,367
♪ I'MA TAKE YOU THERE ♪
580
00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:49,619
♪ I'MA TAKE YOU THERE ♪
581
00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:50,912
♪ SO DON'T BE SCARED ♪
582
00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:53,164
♪ I'M RIGHT HERE, BABY ♪
583
00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:55,834
♪ WE CAN GO ANYWHERE ♪
584
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,627
♪ GO ANYWHERE ♪
585
00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:59,754
♪ BUT FIRST,
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE ♪
586
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:01,381
♪ TAKE MY HAND, COME WITH ME ♪
587
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:04,300
♪ IT'S LIKE I WAITED
MY WHOLE LIFE ♪
588
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:06,386
♪ FOR THIS ONE NIGHT ♪
589
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:09,347
♪ IT'S GON' BE ME, YOU,
AND THE DANCE FLOOR ♪
590
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:12,058
♪ 'CAUSE WE ONLY
GOT ONE NIGHT ♪
591
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,185
♪ DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE ♪
592
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,895
♪ DOUBLE YOUR FUN ♪
593
00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:18,440
♪ AND DANCE
FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
594
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:20,358
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
595
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,944
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
596
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,904
♪ FOREVER ♪
597
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,656
♪ EVER-EVER-EVER ♪
598
00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:28,533
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
599
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,618
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
600
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,413
♪ FOREVER ON THE DANCE FLOOR ♪
601
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:38,335
♪ FEEL LIKE
WE'RE ON ANOTHER LEVEL ♪
602
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:42,047
♪ FEELS LIKE
OR LOVES INTERTWINE ♪
603
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,884
♪ WE CAN BE TWO REBELS,
BREAKING THE RULES ♪
604
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,887
- ♪ ME AND YOU, YOU AND I *
- [exclaims, laughs]
605
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,930
* ALL YOU GOT TO DO
IS WATCH ME ♪
606
00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:53,099
♪ LOOK WHAT I CAN DO
WITH MY FEET ♪
607
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:56,978
♪ BABY, FEEL THE BEAT INSIDE ♪
608
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,147
♪ I'M DRIVING,
YOU CAN TAKE THE FRONT SEAT ♪
609
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,982
♪ JUST NEED YOU TO TRUST ME ♪
610
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:04,152
♪ GIRL ♪
611
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,487
♪ IT'S LIKE NOW ♪
612
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:08,448
♪ IT'S LIKE I WAITED
MY WHOLE LIFE ♪
613
00:24:08,490 --> 00:24:10,450
- ♪ FOR THIS ONE NIGHT *
- * ONE NIGHT ♪
614
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:13,495
* IT'S GON' BE ME, YOU,
AND THE DANCE FLOOR ♪
615
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:16,289
♪ 'CAUSE WE ONLY
GOT ONE NIGHT ♪
616
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,124
♪ DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE ♪
617
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,751
♪ DOUBLE YOUR FUN ♪
618
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:22,295
♪ YEAH AND DANCE
FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
619
00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:24,589
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
620
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:27,926
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
621
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:28,968
♪ FOREVER ♪
622
00:24:29,010 --> 00:24:30,637
♪ EVER-EVER-EVER ♪
623
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,722
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
624
00:24:32,764 --> 00:24:34,891
♪ FOREVER-EVER-EVER ♪
625
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:37,435
♪ FOREVER ON THE DANCE FLOOR ♪
626
00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:39,604
♪ IT'S A LONG WAY DOWN ♪
627
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,648
♪ WE'RE SO HIGH
OFF THE GROUND ♪
628
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:45,527
♪ SENDING FOR AN ANGEL
TO BRING ME YOUR HEART ♪
629
00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:48,154
♪ GIRL,
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM ♪
630
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:50,115
♪ GOT ME SO UNDONE ♪
631
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,451
♪ GAZE IN YOUR EYES GOT ME
SAYING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL... ♪
632
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,954
[cheers and applause]
633
00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:02,043
[organ playing]
634
00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:08,466
I BOUGHT THOSE BOAT TICKETS
635
00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,302
THE DAY I SAW
THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO.
636
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:12,679
I KNEW WE'D NEED A BACKUP PLAN.
637
00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:14,305
THE BOAT WAS ACTUALLY PLAN C,
638
00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,307
THE CHURCH WAS PLAN B,
639
00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,643
AND PLAN A WAS
640
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:22,355
MARRYING HER
A LONG, LONG TIME AGO.
641
00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:24,566
PRETTY MUCH THE DAY I MET HER.
642
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,912
WHAT AN AWESOME PARTY.
643
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:40,290
THE BEST WEDDING
I'VE EVER BEEN TO.
644
00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:42,292
I GOT SIX NUMBERS.
645
00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:47,172
ONE MORE WOULD HAVE BEEN
A COMPLETE TELEPHONE NUMBER.
646
00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:49,090
THIS WAS EPIC.
647
00:25:49,132 --> 00:25:53,428
MY KLEENEX SHOES WERE
A HUGE CONVERSATION PIECE,
648
00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:57,223
BUT MAN, MY DOGS ARE BARKING.
649
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:04,272
[exhales]
650
00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:05,607
MY FEET WERE SO SWEATY,
651
00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:09,194
I CAN'T EVEN FEEL THE COLD.
652
00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,404
WHAT A LOVELY HOTEL.
653
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,198
OKAY.
654
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:14,991
[snickers]
655
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:19,537
[cheerful music]
656
00:26:19,579 --> 00:26:26,670
♪ ♪
44076
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