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1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,969
I don't know, Pam.
2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,263
I paid $400 for this phone,
3
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,556
because I liked the ring.
4
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,141
- You did?
- And now,
5
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:19,394
I realize that you can program
or download any ring you want,
6
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,730
so I'm... a little overwhelmed.
7
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:23,815
- Yeah.
- There's a lot of choices.
8
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,026
- You got to help me here.
- Okay.
9
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,235
Which one of these
is coolest?
10
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,778
What do you think?
["Fur Elise" playing]
11
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,197
♪ ♪
12
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,532
[spooky music]
13
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,326
- How about that one?
- No, no.
14
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,287
[jazz music]
15
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,622
- Ooh, that one was good.
- Are you kidding me?
16
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,834
No, that one says,
"I am so lame."
17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,336
You know which one I want?
18
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,380
There's one that sounds
like a jackhammer.
19
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,132
It just really grabs
your attention.
20
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,218
It's like--
[imitating jackhammer]
21
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,226
Okay.
22
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:02,896
You know what
I'm talking about?
23
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,856
Do you mean "vibrate"?
24
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,527
Yes.
25
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,530
[upbeat music]
26
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:19,454
{\an8}♪ ♪
27
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,977
So...
28
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,896
I'm happy to be here.
29
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,981
It's very nice
to see all of you.
30
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,316
You're all looking well.
31
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,819
Today's a Women
in the Workplace thing.
32
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,278
Jan's coming in from corporate
33
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:56,366
to talk to all the women
about, um...
34
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,826
I don't really know what,
35
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,536
but Michael's not allowed in.
36
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,579
She said that
about five times.
37
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:05,083
Women today, though we have
the same options as men,
38
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,420
we often face a very
different set of obstacles
39
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,255
in getting there, so--
[knock on door]
40
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,048
- Hey, what's going on?
- Michael, I--
41
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,591
- Yeah, you know what?
- I thought we agreed--
42
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,218
I thought about it.
I just have few things
43
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,012
I want to say.
[clears throat]
44
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,221
What are you doing?
45
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,931
Just hear me out.
[clears throat]
46
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,183
What is more important
than quality?
47
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,268
Equality.
48
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,895
Now, studies show
that today's woman--
49
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,939
the Ally McBeal woman,
as I call her--
50
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,190
is at a crossroads.
51
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,234
- Michael.
- And--no, just, I...
52
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,194
You have come a long way, baby,
53
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:36,072
but I just--just wanna
keep it within reason.
54
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,283
- They did this up in Albany--
- You are not allowed in--
55
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,909
And they ended up
turning the break room
56
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,619
into a lactation room,
which is disgusting.
57
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,455
Now you're really
not allowed in this session.
58
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,331
- Well, I'm their boss, so--
- I'm your boss.
59
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,881
Anybody want any coffee
or anything?
60
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:53,965
We're fine, Michael.
61
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,133
We just need you
to leave, please.
62
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,052
Women in the Workplace.
63
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,970
Yeah, translation:
64
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,597
I have been banned
from my own conference room
65
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,932
so that Jan can talk in secret
to all the girls.
66
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,226
Oh, sorry.
Women of the workplace.
67
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,519
About what?
I don't know.
68
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,606
Clothes, me...
69
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:10,690
Ick.
70
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,485
Ladies, I am so, so sorry.
71
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,571
Can we... start again?
We were on such a roll.
72
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,490
- I--I really apologize for that.
- Jan.
73
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,657
Yes, Pam?
74
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,993
- Michael's still at the door.
- Michael!
75
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,954
So one obstacle
is how assertiveness
76
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,332
is perceived differently
in men and women.
77
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:30,001
Men who are assertive
tend to be admired.
78
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,921
They're called... anyone?
79
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,340
That's a terrible idea.
80
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,341
What is?
81
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,301
Them in there, all together.
82
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,511
They stay in there too long,
83
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,555
they're gonna get
on the same cycle.
84
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,224
Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
85
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,686
So one obstacle is
86
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,938
how assertiveness is
perceived differently
87
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,356
in men and women.
88
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,983
Men who are assertive
tend to be admired.
89
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:57,028
They're called... anyone?
90
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,363
- Sexy.
- Confident.
91
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,823
Great.
92
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,701
Whereas women who are assertive
tend to be labeled...
93
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,328
- The C-word.
- I was gonna say the B-word.
94
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,415
Everyone.
Guys, circle up, please.
95
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,000
Come on over.
Bring your chairs.
96
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,711
Toby, come on over.
97
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,629
You're a guy too.
98
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,880
[mumbles]
Sort of.
99
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,549
Let's do this.
100
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,968
So to be in a position
of leadership,
101
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,387
you often need to be assertive, right?
102
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,181
You have to be able
to state a firm opinion.
103
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,933
And this means that you have
to give up the fantasy
104
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,935
of being everyone's friend.
105
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,520
[clattering]
106
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,564
Well, first of all...
[clattering]
107
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,150
I, uh, just wanna
warm up a little bit.
108
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,819
Now, I know this is going
to sound crazy to you,
109
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:40,822
but in India, they do this
thing called laughter therapy,
110
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,073
and I want to try it out.
111
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,075
It's when a group of people
just get together
112
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,578
and they laugh
as hard as they can.
113
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,246
So I want to try that
with you right now.
114
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,748
On the count of three,
let's laugh as hard
115
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,166
and loudly as we can.
116
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,043
Ready?
One, two, three.
117
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:56,212
[laughter]
118
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,220
Oh, my goodness.
119
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,597
Let's just clap.
Let's just clap.
120
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,848
Ready?
121
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,600
[all clapping]
Yeah!
122
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,268
Yeah! That's what
I'm talking about!
123
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,312
Okay, I don't know what
you're doing here, Michael--
124
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,315
Just having a little
Guys in the Workplace thing.
125
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:19,444
Why can't boys play with dolls?
126
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,654
Why does society
127
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,990
force us to use urinals
128
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,533
when sitting down
is far more comfortable?
129
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,744
Can you please do this
somewhere else, Michael?
130
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,371
We have nowhere else, Jan.
131
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,497
This...
132
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,165
We could do it
in the warehouse.
133
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,958
Dwight, excellent idea.
Go to the warehouse.
134
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,710
Okay, fine.
Yeah, actually, perfect.
135
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,337
Perfect!
You know what?
136
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:40,548
There is another side
to this place, gentlemen.
137
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,801
And I know we all love
our cushy jobs
138
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,719
and our fun, exciting office,
139
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,846
but do you realize
that underneath us,
140
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,223
there is another world.
141
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,641
The warehouse world.
142
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,520
A world that is teeming
with sweat and dirt
143
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,647
and life!
144
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,856
Life.
145
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,983
The bowels of the office.
146
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,151
These guys are down there.
147
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,779
They are real men
doing real men's work.
148
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:06,366
Why don't we go down there
and bond with those guys
149
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,742
over some conversation?
150
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:12,080
Because men don't bond
over conversation.
151
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,457
- They bond over activity.
- Shut it.
152
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,001
Okay. Yes.
153
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,546
Right, so we are going to learn
154
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,674
about being real men for a day.
155
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,592
White collar
and the blue collar.
156
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,844
United.
157
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,847
We are going to learn
how a warehouse works.
158
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,265
Whoo! Let's go.
159
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:32,017
I would love to learn
160
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,853
how an office works.
161
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,146
We're gonna head down there.
162
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,857
All of us guys,
and all of those guys.
163
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,025
Together.
164
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,902
We're gonna be one guy today.
165
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,863
The office and the warehouse.
166
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,948
The woffice.
167
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,575
Journey of self-discovery.
168
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,204
Oh, I think this is
gonna work out great.
169
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,123
Because managing the warehouse
170
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,000
is a very important part
of my job.
171
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,461
And I haven't been there
in months.
172
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,589
[beeping]
[hip-hop music]
173
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:09,596
♪ ♪
174
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,112
Remember on "Lost,"
when they met the Others?
175
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,241
I am so sorry about that.
176
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,410
Um, so where were we?
177
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,662
Pam, are you okay
taking notes then?
178
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,622
- Mm-hmm.
- Please?
179
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,791
- Yeah.
- Thank you very much.
180
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,086
[hip-hop music]
181
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,545
- [music stops]
- Inventive.
182
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,387
All right.
Here we are.
183
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,556
This is cool.
This is cool.
184
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,683
Wow.
185
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,393
Culture shock here, huh?
186
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,812
This is like
"Meet the Fockers,"
187
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,897
except it's
"Meet the Warehouse."
188
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,859
So let's meet the warehouse!
189
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,320
Let's get some shots.
190
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,614
Pan around there.
191
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,701
This is Darryl,
one of our warehouse staff.
192
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,495
Darryl, what is
your biggest fear?
193
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,330
My biggest fear is
that someone will distract us
194
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,915
from getting all
the shipments out on time.
195
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,418
You know what? Darrell is
actually the foreman here,
196
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,294
and not Roy, which is cool.
[pallet jack beeping]
197
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,380
There's Roy,
ridin' the big rig!
198
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,008
Um, so Roy is actually
going to be marrying Pam
199
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,634
sometime this summer.
200
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,845
And, uh,
she's our receptionist.
201
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,722
Sort of a Brangelina thing.
202
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,973
Why?
203
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:38,351
Brangelina is
the Brad Pitt and Angelina--
204
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,061
- I don't understand.
- Roy--Roy and Pam.
205
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,563
It's a Ram.
206
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,690
It's a Ram thing.
Not--well...
207
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:47,068
So, Roy, what do you love
about guys?
208
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,820
- What?
- [imitates Roy]
209
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,030
Good interview, fella.
210
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,322
[chuckles]
This guy.
211
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,366
Oh! Get him!
212
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,659
Pan in on him.
213
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:58,163
I love this guy.
I love this guy!
214
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,748
Tell the camera your name.
215
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,499
Why don't you tell them
my name?
216
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,211
I don't want
to mispronounce it.
217
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,672
- It's Lonny.
- That is easy.
218
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,842
So, Lonny, why did you
not get into the NFL?
219
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,511
Was it the knees, or...
I'm sure you were drafted.
220
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,180
What? Michael,
shouldn't you be upstairs
221
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,473
with the rest of the women?
222
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,016
Well, I should be
asking the questions.
223
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,226
Well, why don't you ask me
how I feel about those shoes?
224
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,565
[laughter]
225
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,444
Okay.
They're pretty stupid.
226
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,821
[laughter continues]
227
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,324
Let's trade shoes.
Let me put on your boots.
228
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,034
I want to put on your boots.
229
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,410
Take them off.
230
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,915
All right, so...
231
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:57,722
I bet Roy heard
about you liking Pam.
232
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,392
I bet he'll try to beat you up.
233
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,560
Thanks for
the heads-up, Kev.
234
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,562
I got your back,
if he does.
235
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,734
But try to stay out of it.
236
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,860
[clears throat]
237
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,320
Just in case there's
somebody down here
238
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,571
who shouldn't be.
239
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,365
A little "Good Will Hunting"
situation.
240
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,991
All right, troops.
241
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,578
This is... an important day.
A big day.
242
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,040
Now, you may look around
243
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,668
and see two groups here.
244
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,086
White collar, blue collar.
245
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,423
But I don't see it that way,
and you know why not?
246
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,633
Because I am collar-blind.
247
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,180
I see a group of men.
248
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,266
Do you think
249
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,226
that you are better
than they are?
250
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,770
Well, you're not.
You're worse.
251
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,939
These guys are heroes.
They're men.
252
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,358
Men who work with their hands,
and not their minds.
253
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,860
- What?
- Check out this guy's hands.
254
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:52,736
Look at that.
255
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,363
- Oh, baby soft.
- Stop it.
256
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,615
He's a pussy.
These guys aren't pussies.
257
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,993
Darryl's not a pussy.
But we're all men!
258
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,162
We're all in the same group.
We're all on the same team.
259
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,789
We're men.
You know what?
260
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:08,209
I want Darryl
with the grizzled paw
261
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:11,171
to shake Ryan's hand.
262
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,422
It's okay.
263
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,341
You know what?
He's got soft hands.
264
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,509
You have tough hands.
265
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,303
Look.
Can you do that again?
266
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,388
Can you widen out?
267
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,390
I want Darryl
268
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,018
with the... yeah.
269
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,479
Did you get that? Yeah?
270
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,855
Why don't we
go around the table
271
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,982
and all say something
that we know we're good at.
272
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,527
I will start.
I am good at public speaking.
273
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,780
Hi, I'm Meredith,
and I'm an al--
274
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,907
good at supplier relations.
275
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,367
Great.
Phyllis.
276
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,202
Um, I'm good
at computer stuff.
277
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,412
Emails, uh, spreadsheets.
278
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,289
- All that.
- Really?
279
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,874
I don't know.
I thought that--
280
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,542
No. Okay, stop.
281
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,336
You know, I've seen
some of your spreadsheets.
282
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,462
- And I almost always--
- Really?
283
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,755
I thought they were pretty...
284
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,007
I don't know
how I fit in with these women.
285
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,133
Here.
286
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,885
Or with Jan.
287
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,929
Um, I mean, we get along great.
288
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,223
Fine. Um...
289
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:07,811
I guess the person I have
the most in common with is...
290
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,062
Jim.
291
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:10,605
Halpert.
292
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,691
Hey, uh, I, uh, you know,
293
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,567
heard there's a rumor
going around about,
294
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,528
you know, you used
to have a crush on Pam.
295
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,862
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No, no.
296
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,614
No, it's cool, 'cause I know
you're a good guy,
297
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,033
and I know that that crush
ended a long time ago,
298
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,243
so, you know,
299
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,704
we're cool, right?
300
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,664
Yeah.
No, yeah, definitely.
301
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:28,665
You know,
it's great with me,
302
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:29,916
'cause that way...
303
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,376
I'm glad
she has a friend at work
304
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,627
she can get
through the day with.
305
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,337
That way, she's not all,
"Bah, bah, bah, bah,"
306
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,422
you know, when she gets home.
307
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,840
Yeah, I like
talking to her too.
308
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:37,841
So, uh...
309
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,884
- We're cool, right?
- Yes.
310
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,720
- Yeah. All right.
- Good. All right.
311
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,138
- Cool, man.
- Sweet.
312
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,274
The working man is
the highest form of man.
313
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,192
- You know who said that?
- Stalin?
314
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,986
Not him.
Really?
315
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,112
Hey, Mike, look.
316
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,780
How about we go upstairs too,
you know?
317
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,490
- Learn how an office works?
- Oh, well--
318
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,825
We can both switch places
for the day.
319
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,744
Okay. Yeah.
You know what?
320
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,912
I don't... you're...
321
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,164
My job sucks compared to this.
322
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,082
I don't think
you'd like it up there.
323
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,959
Guys! You wanna start
unloading the truck?
324
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,255
Okay, let's go.
325
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,548
Step up.
326
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,883
Check this out.
327
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,926
Look at that.
Look at that.
328
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:22,802
Ba-boop!
329
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,638
"Hello, how are--"
Okay.
330
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,601
That's great.
331
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,478
That is good stuff.
332
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,980
In five years,
I'd like to be
333
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,607
five years sober.
334
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,525
That is an excellent goal.
335
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,361
4 1/2.
336
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,487
I'll tell you one thing.
337
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,113
I am not gonna be
one of those women
338
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,449
schlepping her kids around
in a minivan.
339
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,534
Great.
Uh-huh.
340
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,536
I want an SUV
with three rows of seats.
341
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,205
- Mm-hmm.
- That would be great.
342
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,831
Well, I'll be honest,
one of the goals
343
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,458
of these women's seminars is
to feel out
344
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,668
if there's any standouts,
345
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,169
women who could be
a valuable addition
346
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,587
to our corporate life.
347
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,343
Michael wants us to bond,
348
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,345
so we need topics
for conversation.
349
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,472
- Ponies.
- No.
350
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,890
How about rainbows?
351
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:10,225
No.
352
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,976
- Flowers.
- No.
353
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,228
Makeup.
354
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,772
Something cool
that we can all connect about.
355
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,107
- Dolls.
- No.
356
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,733
Like catapults, or--
357
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,819
"Power Rangers."
358
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,278
- Barrettes.
- No, you guys.
359
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,488
Stanley, do you have anything?
360
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,532
Uh, retirement?
361
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:32,956
That's dangerous.
Mike, come on.
362
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,332
- Get down, please.
- No. Hey.
363
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,375
You're gonna hurt yourself.
364
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,543
- Mike--
- Stand clear.
365
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:37,877
Mike, get off
of the lift, please!
366
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,838
- I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Come on, now.
367
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,548
- Here we go.
- Would you--look.
368
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,675
- Hold on to the--
- Oh, oh, oh!
369
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,889
We'll get somebody
to clean that up.
370
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,684
We're the ones
that gotta clean that up!
371
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,853
Damn it, Michael!
372
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,271
We have to have
this thing serviced.
373
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,443
So, guys' gripe session.
374
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,736
Here we are.
375
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,904
Now, we definitely live
376
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,865
in different worlds,
377
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,908
but we have a lot in common.
378
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,327
We even like the same girls,
379
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,495
some of us.
380
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,788
And that's gonna happen.
381
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,915
You know, we're guys, so...
382
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,752
Hey, do you want me to go?
383
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,378
No, why would I?
384
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,256
- You could stay, or--
- I'll go.
385
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:26,968
And a big walk-in closet.
386
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,428
Oh, that's part
of my dream too.
387
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,888
Oh, me too.
388
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,140
Great. Okay.
389
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,683
And, Pam, what about you?
390
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,477
What is your dream?
391
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,103
Well...
392
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,231
I always dreamed of a house
with a terrace upstairs.
393
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,650
Plant flowers on it,
stuff like that.
394
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,028
Since I was a girl.
395
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,947
Um... more seriously, though,
396
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,824
a husband that I love.
397
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,451
Roy.
398
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,619
And...
399
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,829
I love to draw.
400
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,164
And I did a little in college.
401
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,707
And I'd still love
to do something
402
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,293
where I could work with art
or graphic design in some way.
403
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:01,503
- She's real good.
- Thanks.
404
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,213
You know,
the company is offering
405
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,715
a design training program
in New York.
406
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,384
Well, I have a job
right now,
407
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,968
so I can't really
take time off.
408
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,470
Well, it's--
it's only on weekends,
409
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,055
and then a few weeks
in New York,
410
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,974
but I'm sure that I could
ask corporate to help you out.
411
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,643
Well, it's just that
the weekends aren't good
412
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,186
because, um--
413
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,313
There are always a million
reasons not to do something.
414
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,236
Let's start
with the warehouse.
415
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,988
What bothers you, as guys?
You know?
416
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,032
- My priority is safety.
- Okay.
417
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,201
So it really bothers me
when somebody comes in here
418
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,412
speeding around on a lift,
playing with it like a toy.
419
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,996
I think it kind of gets
under my skin, okay?
420
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,289
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shh, shh.
421
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,791
Uh-uh, don't--
don't shush me.
422
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,334
No, I--that was just--
423
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,919
- That bothers me too.
- I was breathing.
424
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,504
Pam shushes me.
It drives me crazy.
425
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,339
I hate shushing, you know?
That's the thing.
426
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,382
What both--okay.
427
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,842
What is our beef,
428
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:51,052
as... human men?
429
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:53,513
You know, that's
a good question, Hasselhoff.
430
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,682
[laughter]
431
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:56,725
- Okay.
- What bugs us?
432
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,226
All right, good.
433
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,978
Guys raggin' on each other.
434
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:03,023
That's what guys do.
And we love it.
435
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,400
All right,
let's talk about...
436
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,152
clothing.
437
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,778
I'm excited about today.
438
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,281
[whispering]
I love girl talk.
439
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:14,534
Dress for the job you want,
not the job you have.
440
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,036
All right, you can
use your clothing
441
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,537
to send a message
about your ambitions
442
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:21,166
by wearing clothes that reflect
what you aspire to be.
443
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,168
I'm not gaining anything
from this seminar.
444
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,045
I'm a professional woman.
445
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,546
The head of accounting.
446
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,341
I'm in the healthiest
relationship of my life.
447
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,719
I just think it's insulting
that Jan thinks we need this.
448
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,137
And apparently,
449
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,306
judging from her outfit,
450
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,391
Jan aspires to be a whore.
451
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,062
I hate it when girls insist
on taking them out
452
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,147
to restaurants
every weekend night,
453
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,315
and then, they're like,
454
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:46,649
"When are we gonna go
on a date-date?"
455
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,276
- Oh, I hate that too, man.
- Exactly!
456
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,944
- I hate that too.
- That sucks so hard.
457
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,529
- It totally sucks.
- Yeah!
458
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,740
And then they make you drive
'em to church the next morning.
459
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:55,325
Like, gas ain't free!
460
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,412
Yeah, on our salaries, man,
what do they expect, you know?
461
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,705
What, "take us out
every weekend"?
462
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,248
- You know what I mean?
- I feel you, man.
463
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,541
- We're not millionaires.
- I feel you.
464
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,502
No, you don't.
You don't feel us.
465
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,087
How can you?
You--you know what?
466
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,922
- Not literally.
- You say we're the same,
467
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:11,257
but we get compensated
very differently.
468
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,926
We work the same hours as you,
469
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,552
and you just said
we work a lot harder.
470
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,762
Uh, you do, so--
471
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,305
But we get paid a lot less.
472
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:18,431
- N...y...
- Word.
473
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,392
- Like, next to no benefits.
- I know.
474
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,811
- God, what is that?!
- Exactly!
475
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,062
It blows.
It blows, man!
476
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,772
You know,
this would not happen
477
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:26,940
if we had a union.
478
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,358
That's what
I'm talking about.
479
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,651
- Yeah... no.
- Absolutely.
480
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:30,902
That's what we need to do.
481
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,862
Man, see, that's
what I been sayin', man.
482
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,155
We need to do this finally.
483
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,573
You know what?
Is that necessary?
484
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,284
'Cause you already sort of
have a union... of guys.
485
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,036
It's more than necessary, Mike.
486
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,204
We need this.
487
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:43,289
Roy, you still have that card
488
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,125
- from the dock workers' union?
- In my truck.
489
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,543
Man, hook it up.
Come on, man!
490
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:48,003
Let's unionize, baby!
[applause]
491
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,379
Yeah, you know what,
I think, uh...
492
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,297
- Problem is the chicks.
- That's what it's time for!
493
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,091
- Union, yeah!
- The problem is the chicks.
494
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,010
And you gotta blame them.
495
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,013
Are you with us, Mike?
496
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,140
[weakly]
Yeah, s...
497
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,142
Welcome to the warehouse.
498
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,186
all: [chanting]
Michael! Michael! Michael!
499
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,942
Another issue is
inequality of pay
500
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,527
between men and women.
501
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,362
I'm sure that all of you
have dealt with that before.
502
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,364
- [knock on door]
- This is important.
503
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,408
Ladies, take a breather.
[clears throat]
504
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,702
Jan, I, uh...
505
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,787
wanted...
506
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,457
Can I help you?
507
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,251
Um, I wanted to say
that the guys downstairs
508
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,086
are thinking about
forming a union.
509
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,880
- And they have some good points.
- What? A union?
510
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,423
- Don't get hysterical.
- I'm not.
511
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,217
Part of my job is
knowing how to talk to women.
512
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:39,679
Let's... be...rational... here.
513
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,222
What are the pros?
What are the cons--
514
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:43,475
The cons are that everyone
will lose their job, Michael.
515
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,644
Everyone.
Office, warehouse.
516
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,315
What do you think
the... pros... are... here?
517
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,734
Don't talk to me
that way, please.
518
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:55,904
Just... they're gonna
wanna hear this from you.
519
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,572
Oh, you got yourself
into this, Michael,
520
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,657
- so you get yourself out.
- But we're bonding down there!
521
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,701
I mean, I just don't wanna
have to tell them something
522
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,953
- they're not gonna wanna hear!
- Now who's getting hysterical?
523
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,872
Okay. Come on, Jan.
After all we've been through.
524
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540
- Michael, Michael--
- We have a history.
525
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,584
- Michael, Michael.
- We have a history between us.
526
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,920
Don't say another word.
527
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,838
Get yourself downstairs.
528
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,007
I'm just saying
that we have something...
529
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,592
Okay, whatever.
530
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,598
British Masters is hard
to beat for long distance.
531
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,642
- A great point.
- Yeah.
532
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:28,144
- I got a spud gun in my car.
- Really?
533
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,272
Yeah, shoot a chunk of potato
at your face,
534
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,108
80 PSI,
535
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,235
bon appétit.
536
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,528
What are you guys
talking about?
537
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,905
- both: Guns.
- Cool.
538
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,116
How's that, uh,
union stuff coming?
539
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,617
Working on it.
540
00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:43,702
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
541
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,871
- Okay.
- All right.
542
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,373
You ever shot a moose?
543
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,000
- No.
- [blows raspberry]
544
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,751
You know what?
545
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,378
We could get this done
a lot quicker
546
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,713
if we formed
a type of assembly line.
547
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:58,967
This here is
a run-out-the-clock situation.
548
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:01,469
Just like upstairs.
549
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,596
Sports metaphors are
one of the ways
550
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,765
women feel left out
of the language of the office.
551
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:06,975
Now, I know
this might sound silly,
552
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,852
but many women ask
to go over it.
553
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:11,104
- So "fumble" means--
- Mistake.
554
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,814
- Slip.
- Right.
555
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,233
"Par for the course"
is a golf term.
556
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,110
It means right on track.
557
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,155
Uh, "below par" means worse.
558
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,365
Wait, that should mean better.
That doesn't make sense.
559
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:23,950
What about "second base"?
560
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:27,370
Like if Michael said
he got to second base with you?
561
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,830
Does that mean
you, like, closed a deal?
562
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,415
- Excuse me?
- [clears throat]
563
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,459
I mean, that's
a baseball term, right?
564
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,919
I don't know
what Michael was...
565
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,254
talking about.
I don't know.
566
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,505
Like, you went to Chili's,
567
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,299
and he got to second base
with you.
568
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,842
Excuse me.
569
00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:42,802
Kelly, I don't know
what Michael was talking about.
570
00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:44,763
He just told everybody,
and I just wanna know...
571
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:45,847
Hey.
572
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:47,974
- Hey!
- How's it going down there?
573
00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:49,809
It's a complete--
well, actually,
574
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,102
it's exactly what you'd expect.
575
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,020
- So...
- Right.
576
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,521
- How are the girls?
- Good.
577
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,024
We watched a video
about our changing bodies.
578
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,275
Did you really?
579
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,777
- No.
- Oh.
580
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,695
- Almost.
- Oh, that's...
581
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:03,698
Um, but, hey, um,
something kind of cool.
582
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,867
There's this internship
in graphic design
583
00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:07,577
that Jan was telling us about.
584
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:10,080
She made it sound,
like, really great.
585
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,873
Nice!
Well, what's it all about?
586
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,458
- Um--
- I think you should do it.
587
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,377
[both chuckle]
That's great!
588
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:17,712
It's really cool.
589
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:21,091
Cold front comin' in
to the warehouse!
590
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:22,634
Uh-oh!
591
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:24,886
Better put on your ski boots!
592
00:22:24,928 --> 00:22:26,221
[laughs]
593
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:29,140
Wooooow!
594
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:32,560
Happy New Year, Darryl!
595
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:35,730
Hey, Darryl!
596
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,524
You ever done this?
597
00:22:39,609 --> 00:22:42,696
Better put on
your thermal jammy!
598
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:44,280
It's gonna get cold!
599
00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:46,366
Snowball fight!
Whoo!
600
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:48,493
[laughs]
601
00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:50,954
- Snow angel!
- Snow angel!
602
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,679
Are you married?
603
00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:09,055
I'm divorced.
604
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:11,391
- That must have been hard.
- It was. Yes.
605
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:14,060
You were probably feeling
really depressed and sad,
606
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:16,646
and that's why you did
that thing with Michael.
607
00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:18,273
I think you should all
spend a little more time
608
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,109
thinking about your careers and
less time on personal stuff.
609
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:23,653
Mm, I think we're all okay
with the balance we've struck.
610
00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:25,405
At least you don't have kids.
611
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,282
You have no kids, right?
Thank God.
612
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,951
Okay, I think that, you know,
finding a balance between--
613
00:23:29,993 --> 00:23:32,370
Jan, you and I
have so much in common.
614
00:23:32,412 --> 00:23:35,498
My career is so much more
fulfilling than my family too.
615
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:36,958
I can't stand my kid.
616
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,668
And you had
to change your name back.
617
00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:40,253
That's so humiliating.
618
00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:42,714
Okay, let's take five.
I think we could all use five.
619
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:48,386
How can someone so beautiful
be so sad?
620
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,556
I know.
It's really... unsettling.
621
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,726
I would not trade shoes
with her.
622
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:56,186
Hey, look at us, huh?
623
00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,480
All working together,
getting along.
624
00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,690
United.
Band of brothers.
625
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,610
- Like a union.
- Better.
626
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:04,986
Hey, what the hell, man?
627
00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:06,571
You don't tell her
what to do, all right?
628
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:07,989
I was just giving her
my opinion.
629
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,616
Yeah, well, it has nothing
to do with you!
630
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,076
That's between her and me,
all right?
631
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:12,160
You got to respect that!
632
00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:15,830
All right. Come on, you guys.
Break it up!
633
00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,874
Guys, check it out!
634
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:19,376
Spud gun.
635
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:21,252
Whoo-hoo!
Bon appétit!
636
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:27,258
[quietly]
Sorry.
637
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,140
That's my office.
638
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:45,860
Hi.
639
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:47,237
Did you take care
of the situation?
640
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,196
Yeah, yeah.
641
00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:49,948
Yes, I...
642
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,033
- I have essentially--
- Excuse me.
643
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:53,660
- Excuse me.
- Yes, I've take--
644
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:55,370
I'm told that
there's been some interest
645
00:24:55,412 --> 00:24:58,123
in forming a union,
and that Michael supported it.
646
00:24:58,164 --> 00:24:59,499
Obviously, he's not
a friend of yours,
647
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,293
because he didn't tell you
the facts, so let me.
648
00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:05,213
If there is even a whiff
of unionizing in this branch,
649
00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:07,882
I can guarantee you the branch
will be shut down like that.
650
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:09,175
They unionized in Pittsfield,
651
00:25:09,217 --> 00:25:11,136
and we all know
what happened in Pittsfield.
652
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:13,930
It will cost each of you
a fortune in legal fees
653
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:15,682
and union dues,
and that'll be nothing
654
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,058
compared to the cost
of losing your jobs.
655
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:19,227
So I would think long and hard
656
00:25:19,269 --> 00:25:21,813
before sacrificing your savings
and your futures
657
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:24,065
just to send a message.
658
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:25,442
If you have
any further questions,
659
00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:28,737
you can direct them to...
660
00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:30,030
To Michael.
661
00:25:31,948 --> 00:25:34,909
Oh, that.
The terrace?
662
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,203
I don't even know
why I brought that up.
663
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,873
Um, dreams are just that.
664
00:25:39,914 --> 00:25:41,082
They're dreams.
665
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,209
They help
get you through the day.
666
00:25:43,251 --> 00:25:44,544
Like the thing
about the terrace.
667
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:45,754
It's nice,
668
00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:47,964
but, um, I don't know.
669
00:25:48,006 --> 00:25:50,592
It was just something I read
in this book when I was 12.
670
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:52,719
Uh, the girl in the book
has a terrace
671
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,179
outside of her bedroom.
672
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,973
And she planted flowers on it.
673
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,100
And I just loved that.
674
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:00,977
It just always kind of stuck
with me.
675
00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:02,937
So you're not doing it?
676
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,233
How did you know?
677
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:08,485
Why not?
678
00:26:08,526 --> 00:26:11,071
Just not--no big reason.
679
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:13,114
Just a bunch of little reasons.
680
00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:15,200
- Come on.
- Roy's right.
681
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:17,702
There's no guarantee it's
gonna lead to anything anyway.
682
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:20,789
Roy said that?
683
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,957
What? You have something
you wanna say?
684
00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:28,296
You gotta take a chance
on something sometime, Pam.
685
00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:31,299
I mean, do you wanna be
a receptionist here, always?
686
00:26:31,341 --> 00:26:32,634
Oh, excuse me!
687
00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,387
I'm fine with my choices.
688
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:37,180
You are?
689
00:26:37,222 --> 00:26:39,349
Yeah.
690
00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:40,767
It's impractical.
691
00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:44,437
I'm not gonna...
try to get a house like that.
692
00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:47,440
Um, they don't even make houses
like that in Scranton,
693
00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:49,192
so I'm never gonna...
694
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,205
Rule number one
of the warehouse:
695
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:05,500
never outload
the outgoing order.
696
00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:07,711
[laughter]
697
00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:10,046
Y'all look a little sweaty.
698
00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:11,881
We didn't tell you
to take it off the truck.
699
00:27:11,923 --> 00:27:13,508
Give yourselves
a round of applause!
700
00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:15,010
Very nice work.
[applause]
701
00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:17,846
- [laughter]
- Whoo!
702
00:27:17,887 --> 00:27:19,889
- Those are the smart ones.
- Man!
703
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:33,403
I'm just gonna push this
over there!
704
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,824
This is not a good idea
right here.
705
00:27:40,577 --> 00:27:42,203
Easy does it. Okay.
706
00:27:48,418 --> 00:27:49,794
Pizza.
707
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:52,130
Great equalizer.
708
00:27:52,172 --> 00:27:54,883
Rich people love pizza.
Poor people love pizza.
709
00:27:54,924 --> 00:27:58,511
White people love pizza.
Black people love pizza.
710
00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:01,056
Do Black people like pizza?
711
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:13,902
Hey, um...
712
00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:16,571
Look, guys, I'm sorry.
713
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:17,989
Sometimes, Jan...
714
00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:19,866
[lowers voice]
can be such a bitch.
715
00:28:19,908 --> 00:28:22,160
[all agree]
716
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:23,787
Hey, watch it.
Watch it.
717
00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,246
We have a relationship.
718
00:28:25,288 --> 00:28:29,709
Well, we need to head upstairs.
719
00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,211
Stanley, you wanna...
720
00:28:31,252 --> 00:28:34,589
hang out with your friends
for a bit?
721
00:28:34,631 --> 00:28:36,007
All right.
722
00:28:39,177 --> 00:28:41,304
Thank you to our hosts.
723
00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:42,931
Hey, Michael!
724
00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:44,349
This ain't over.
725
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:54,693
[sighs]
Excellent.
726
00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:56,986
Excellent.
Productive.
727
00:28:57,028 --> 00:28:59,322
Informative day.
728
00:28:59,364 --> 00:29:01,991
There was this film
that I saw when I was little.
729
00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:03,827
It was about a kid
730
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:07,122
who goes the most
incredible adventure.
731
00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:09,040
And even though
it was really great
732
00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:11,251
and she had a great time,
733
00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,294
she ends up back home in Kansas
and says,
734
00:29:13,336 --> 00:29:15,463
"There's no place like home."
735
00:29:15,505 --> 00:29:18,174
And that's how I feel
right now.
736
00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:20,593
There is no place like home.
737
00:29:22,303 --> 00:29:24,889
What the hell
was that movie called?
738
00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:26,433
So...
739
00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:29,853
[sighs]
It's gonna drive me crazy.
740
00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:34,315
I love her shoes.
741
00:29:34,357 --> 00:29:35,567
Me too.
742
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,444
I don't.
743
00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:40,613
Uh, maybe I don't.
744
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:42,866
I'm happy this thing is over.
745
00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:44,826
I understand
where Jan was coming from,
746
00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:47,412
but I didn't like it so much.
747
00:29:47,454 --> 00:29:49,706
I mean, she made me feel bad
for being happy
748
00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:51,374
with where I am.
749
00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:52,876
Is it good to be back?
Yeah.
750
00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:55,211
I mean,
I love the guy stuff, but...
751
00:29:55,253 --> 00:29:57,464
to run an office,
you need men and women.
752
00:29:57,505 --> 00:29:58,882
You know why?
753
00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:02,135
Because you need to have
that crazy sexual tension
754
00:30:02,177 --> 00:30:04,262
to keep things interesting.
755
00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:05,638
[sighs]
756
00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:11,519
[telephone rings]
757
00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:16,900
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.
758
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:20,236
Uh, hold, please.
759
00:30:31,498 --> 00:30:33,041
Why are you even
filming this?
760
00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:35,794
I'm walking. Let's see how
interesting I can make this.
761
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:41,883
How's that?
Is that getting better?
762
00:30:41,925 --> 00:30:44,427
How about that?
When I turn the corner?
763
00:30:44,469 --> 00:30:46,429
I pretend
I'm a racecar sometime.
764
00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:49,557
[imitates engine revving]
765
00:30:50,850 --> 00:30:51,935
[imitates tires squealing]
766
00:30:51,976 --> 00:30:54,854
[imitates engine revving]
767
00:30:57,023 --> 00:30:59,859
And I'm fat, so sometime,
I got to take a breath.
768
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:02,570
[inhales deeply, exhales]
769
00:31:02,612 --> 00:31:04,698
What?
770
00:31:04,739 --> 00:31:07,117
Don't tape me.
771
00:31:07,158 --> 00:31:09,202
I'm wanted in three states.
772
00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:15,333
What's everybody's
favorite flavor?
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{\an8}[bugle toots]
774
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{\an8}[ascending tone]
54440
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