All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S02E12.The.Injury.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

- [laughs]
- This is way too easy.

3-1. You're terrible
at this game.

- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.

- Let's go. Ready?
- Yeah.

Okay, what?
What is that?

- I don't know. 3-2.
- That's not even--no.

You broke. 3-2.
[phone ringing]

Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.

Pam! It's Michael.
Help me.

I need help right now.

- Michael, what's wrong?
- I'm hurt.

I have hurt myself.

- Oh, my God!
- Okay. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, this is not
looking good, Pam.

Michael, do you need me
to call an ambulance?!

No, I want you
to pick me up.

- Okay. Wait a sec.
- What's going on?

I thought you said
that you were hurt.

I am hurt.
I hurt my foot.

I want to come to work,

but I need you
to come and pick me up.

[on speaker phone]
Oh, God!

- Hey, whoa! Michael!
- Oh, God!

It's okay.
It's Jim.

Just say again, really loudly,
what happened.

Okay. Buh!
I burned my foot!

Very badly,
on my Foreman Grill,

and I now need someone to
come and bring me in to work.

You burned your foot
on a Foreman Grill?

I enjoy
having breakfast in bed.

I like waking up
to the smell of bacon.

Sue me.

And since
I don't have a butler,

I have to do it myself.

So most nights,
before I go to bed,

I will lay six strips of bacon
out on my George Foreman Grill.

Then I go to sleep.

When I wake up,
I plug in the grill.

I go back to sleep again.

Then, I wake up to the smell
of crackling bacon.

It is delicious.
It's good for me.

It's the perfect way
to start the day.

Today I got up,
I stepped onto the grill,

and it clamped down
on my foot, that's it.

I don't see what's so hard
to believe about that.

I've had a Foreman Grill
for about six years.

I've done about 85%
of my cooking on it,

but I've never burnt myself.

Probably because
I don't use it as a pillow.

Pam, could you
come get me?

Uh, I have to stay here
and answer the phone.

Okay, could someone come
and get me, please? Ryan?

Michael, you should
stay home and rest.

There's no toilet paper here.

Could Ryan--tell Ryan
to bring toilet paper!

Could you tell him that?

Can you hop?

I tried hopping, Kevin,

and I bumped my elbow
against the wall,

and now my elbow
has a "protruberence."

[snorts]

No one wants
to pick me up?!

What is going on?

What is going on?

Michael is, um, "sick,"

and he wants one of us
to rescue him.

- I'm not sick. I'm--
- I'm coming, Michael!

- I'm gonna save you!
- Don't!

Is that Dwight?
I do not want Dwight.

Hold on, Michael!
I am coming!

- Wait there!
- I don't want Dwight!

Michael, why don't you
call your girlfriend?

I don't have a girlfriend.

But you said you went out
with her this weekend.

It was all made up.
Just--someone come, okay?

Anyone.
Anyone but Dwight.

[car crashes]

- What was that?
- What was that?

- Oh.
- Oh!

He hit the pole.

- It's broken, right? He can't--
- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, Dwight. Dwight.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my gosh.

Is he okay?
[tires screech]

He's still driving.

Dwight...

You forgot your bumper!

Hello?

Please don't send Dwight.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Morning, everyone.

Don't freak out.

I forbid anybody to freak out.

Clearly I have had
a very serious accident,

but I will recover.

God willing.

I just wanna be
treated normally today.

Normal would actually be good,

considering the trauma
that I've been through--

You missed two big
conference calls today,

one with corporate.

Oh, did you explain why?

No, I didn't mention
that you cooked your foot.

Burned my foot, Pam.

[bubble wrap pops]

You should put butter on it.

Uh, that's what she said.

See? I haven't lost
my sense of humor.

No. No need.
It was a non-stick grill.

Please stop popping my cast.

Thank you.

So where are you
shipping your foot?

[dryly] Ha ha ha.
So where are you shipping...

Your foot.

I always keep a stash
of bubble wrap at my house.

Some days--
hectic, tiring days--

I just like to go home
and zone out,

click on the tube,
and pop a few.

It's very soothing.

[bubble wrap pops]

You wanna try?

You know, that's probably
not gonna last too long.

You should go to a hospital
and get a real cast.

Right, like I'm gonna
spend the day in a hospital.

Ugh, bureaucracy and germs.

- And doctors.
- Yes.

- So, no, thank you.
- [slurs speech]

What?

Constructing
a homemade cast--genius.

Filled with foresight.

Like in the pioneer times,
if you lost a leg,

they would then use the bone
of the leg for a cane.

They wasted nothing.

Wow, I don't want
to hear... you talk.

Pam, could I have a word
with you in my office?

[grunts]

[thud]
I'm all right.

[buzzing]
Thank you.

Pam, messages, please.

- You didn't have any.
- Really?

Well, seemed very important
to you earlier,

that you needed to stay and--

- Do my job?
- No.

Your job is being
my friend, Pam, and--

Ow!
God!

It slipped.

- What did--
- Sorry.

It's just that before,
you said

you didn't want
any special treatment.

I don't want
any special treatment, Pam.

I just want you to treat me
like you would a family member

who's undergone some sort
of serious physical trauma.

I don't think
that's too much to ask.

Do you want some aspirin?

Because you seem
a little fussy.

No, I don't want some
aspirin. Yeah, I am fussy!

Aspirin's not gonna do
a damn thing.

I'm sitting here with
a bloody stump of a foot.

Pam, I am
assistant regional manager.

And I can take care of him.

Part of my duties are to...

[sighs]

What?

Part of your duties
are to, what?

What?

You just said that part of
your duties are to, something.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- What is wrong with you?
- What is wrong with you?

I don't want you
taking care of me.

He almost killed me in the car.

Car ride from hell.

And his car smelled of puke.

I vomited because I crashed

on the way to pick you up
and bring you in to work.

TMI. I don't--God.

I hope you washed your hands
before you--

- Well, I didn't.
- Hey.

- Vomit hands.
- What is wrong with you?

What is up with him?

He seems kind of out of it.

Like that's anything
out of the ordinary.

He just wants attention.

[sighs]

- Oh, Pam?
- Mm-hmm?

Would you be a dear
and get me some hot water,

that's cold water,
and an assortment of tea bags?

Thanks.

What'd you get?

Oh, it's nothing.

Oh, did Roy get you an iPod.
That's cool.

It's a Prism DuroSport.

It's not an iPod,
but it's good for athletes.

Mm-hmm. Awesome.

Well, you know, uh,

you know, frankly, a lot of us
have been saying

something like this
for a long time.

- Yeah, I've been saying that.
- Yeah.

And, you know, I think that

the very fact that we're
including it in our agenda,

frankly,
is a big step forward.

Did you know
I used to be in HR?

- I'm sorry?
- I used to be in HR.

- Uh--
- I was a hellraiser.

- Okay...
- Right?!

[laughs]

Great.
Um, why don't we move on?

All right.
Moving on.

Great, because I think that,
you know, the very fact that--

Ryan, yeah! You're here.
What you got?

What you got?
What you got?

All right. "Panic Room,"
"Maverick," "Nell,"

"Sommersby," "The Accused."

- Where's "Little Man Tate"?
- They were out.

- Aw. Come on, man.
- At three different places.

It's not
a Jodie Foster afternoon

without "Little Man Tate,"
buddy.

[sighs]
All right.

Where is my cornbread?

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Did you get all dark meat
like I like?

Yes, I ordered three full
rotisserie chickens' worth

of all dark meat.

- Where are the yams?
- They were out of yams.

- I got you creamed spinach.
- Did you go to the one

- in Stroudsburg?
- Yes.

It's the only Boston Kitchen
I trust.

I know.
You made that very clear.

- And they had no yams?
- They had no yams.

How strange.

Because they always have yams.

Well, I don't know
what to tell you.

[muffled]
Well...

Chicken's cold.

Yes. Stroudsburg is
45 minutes away.

You know what else is
45 minutes away?

Going to the Boston Kitchen
in Scranton

and then fooling around
in the parking lot.

That's--that's 45 minutes away.

Mmm! I'm telling ya,

the best cure in the world
is comfort food.

You know how they say,
"Stuff a cold"?

Well, I don't care
what you got--

the flu, Lyme disease,
emphysema--

you eat an entire
dark meat chicken,

you can walk on the moon.

Oh, man.
Is that a Prism DuroSport?

You've seen
one of these?

Yeah, they're like an iPod,
only they're better,

'cause they're chunkier
and more solid.

Roy gave it to me
for Christmas.

I'm trying to figure out
how to put songs on it.

Oh, no, no, no.
Don't go there.

I know this Russian website

where you can download songs
for 2¢ apiece.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'll write down the address
for you.

Only--the only thing is,

is that all the songs
are in Russian.

Kidding!

Oh!
[both laugh]

Why would they all be?

Okay.
See you later, Pan.

"Pan"?

Pam!

Pam?

[sighs]
Oh, God.

[phone ringing]

What?

[whimpering]
Come here, please.

Tell me
before I come there.

I want you to rub butter
on my foot.

- No.
- Pam, please.

- I have Country Crock.
- No.

I'll do it!

I used to be a nurse.

No, your hands are grizzled.

I can be very tender, Michael.

[gags]
Come on, Pam. Please.

No.

[grunting]

Ryan!

Ryan!

[rattling blinds]
Rya--

[sniffs]
Ooh! Who made popcorn?

These covers

are totally indestructible.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Throw it.
I promise it won't break.

Chuck it.

Oh, no.
It's broken.

What?

No, it's fine.

I told you it wouldn't break.

You could throw it
all day long.

That is so cool.

- Thanks, Dwight.
- Yep.

So I guess Pam and Dwight
are friends now.

Oh, God, no.
Dwight isn't my friend.

Oh, my God.
Dwight's kind of my friend!

No, no. No one is
helping me out at all, Mom.

No, I'm not gonna call Jan.

She'd just worry.

Drive down here
and make a big thing.

Who told you that?

No, it was mutual.

And what is Pam doing
chatting with you?

Hmm.

You like candy?

It's all right.

'Cause you're sweeter
than candy.

What is wrong with you?

Hey, cut--

Wow, you just dive right in.

You know, around age 12,

I just started going for it,
you know?

Help!
[loud thud]

[groaning]

Oh, help!
Help me!

What--what happened?

I fell off the toilet.

I'm caught between
the toilet and the wall.

- What do you need?
- Not you.

Someone else.
Get Pam.

I don't think Pam's gonna
wanna come into the men's room.

Get Ryan.
[grunts]

He needs to lift me!

And he needs to clean me up
a little bit.

Bring a wet towel.

Ryan is, uh... dead.

No, he's not.
I just saw him.

No. Can you--
can you just get up yourself?

I...you only grilled your foot.

Oh, forget it.

I'll just get up myself.

Oh! Ow!

[clattering]

Ow! Oh, God!

Do you think Dwight's
being a little weird today?

No. He's actually been
really nice and helpful.

And that isn't weird?

Well...

Can I have everyone's
attention, please?

Phyllis. Oscar.

Ryan, who is supposed
to be dead.

Can I ask you all a question?

Do you know what it's like
to be disabled?

Um, I had scoliosis
as a girl.

Never heard of it.
No. A real disability.

Not a woman's trouble.

When I was a teenager,
I was in an iron lung.

Wha--how old are you?

No, it--

Look, the point is

I am the only one here

who has
a legitimate disability.

Although I'm sure
Stanley has had

his fair share of obstacles.

I'm not disabled,
and neither are you.

Okay, what does this
look like to you, Stanley?

Mailboxes, etc.

Shut it.

Okay.
Well...

Well, you know what?

Disabilities

are not things to be laughed at

or laughed about.

You people are jerks.

Imagine if you had
left Stevie Wonder

on the floor of that bathroom
instead of me.

Oh, we wouldn't.
We love Stevie Wonder.

[sighs]

I burned my foot!

Okay, 20 minutes.
Conference room.

Everybody's in there!

Dad?

It is so clear to me now.

They only loved me
when I was strong

and walking around.

That is so prejudiced.

What?
You gotta be kidding me.

Why are they arranged this way?

Dwight? Hello?!

Why did you do this?

And what kind of boss am I

to have raised such
an insensitive group?

[sighs]

I give you a little,
tiny, tiny task

and all I ask is that you--
we need leg room.

We need leg room
for people to sit.

What are you talking about?

This is not the luge, okay?!

I'd rather be loved
than feared.

But if I'm not loved,

at the very minimum,
I should be feared.

And if they're
not scared of me,

the least I can do is
call a big meeting

and force them all
to stop what they're doing

and to pay attention to me.

While we are waiting for
our special guest to arrive,

I wanted you all to take a look

at a few of the many,
many disabled icons

who have contributed so much
to our society.

- Quick question.
- Yeah?

Why is Tom Hanks
on the wall?

- Twice.
- Good question.

"Forrest Gump,"
mentally challenged.

"Philadelphia," AIDS.

I think that's from "Big."

I don't think so, no.

Yeah, he's dancing on a piano
with Robert Loggia.

He grew into a man overnight.

A rare disability.
It still works.

[clicks tongue, then sighs]

A crossword puzzle, Stanley?

Seriously, are you
learning nothing here?

Mm-hmm.

What do you mean,
"Mm-hmm"?

- I mean I'm learning nothing.
- Okay.

Michael Scott.
I'm looking for Michael Scott.

- Yes. Right in here.
- Oh, good.

- Come on in.
- Great.

This, ladies and gentlemen,
is our special guest.

Sorry I'm late.

Somebody parked in
the handicapped parking space.

Oh.

My assignment is to make

a temporary
disabled parking permit

for Michael Scott.

Hey, everyone.
I'm Billy Merchant.

You may have seen me
around here before.

I'm the properties manager
of this office park.

You are so brave.

- You are so brave.
- Thank you.

Actually, I've been meaning to
come by here for a long time--

But it's hard for you, right?

Because you're in a wheelchair.

No, I just have a lot
of properties to manage.

Let me ask you something.

How long does it take
for you to do something simple?

Every day, like--like brush
your teeth in the morning?

I don't know.
Like, 30 seconds.

Oh, my God.

That's three times
as long as it takes me.

How did you
get in your wheelchair?

This morning?

Just like every other morning.
Just climbed on in.

- [laughter]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Not funny, not funny!
- Hey, hey, relax.

Just, uh, joking around here.

Well, that's good.

He still has a sense of humor.

Listen, I've actually
used a chair

since I was four years old.

I don't really
notice it anymore.

Well, they do.
They notice it.

Don't you?
You notice it.

It's the first thing you saw
when he rolled in here,

isn't it?

I want to clamp Michael's
face in a George Foreman Grill.

So there are just
a couple things

I wanted
to remind everybody of.

- Okay.
- First is parking.

You can't block
the freight entrance

with your car,
even if your blinkers are on.

Does anybody
have any questions?

Yes?

Yeah?

Yes?

Dwight, you have
your hand up.

Ignore him.

Real question:
when we're up on the roof,

are we allowed
to bring food up there?

- No one should be on the roof.
- Oh.

You fought for our side

in the Vietnam War.

What was that like?

Michael, I did not fight
in Vietnam.

You know what?

We're not that different,
you and I.

When I clamped my foot

into a non-stick--

- You know what, Michael?
- Yeah?

- Let me stop you right there.
- Okay.

And leave.

Did you see
"Born on the Fourth of July"?

I was under the impression

that Billy would be
more like that guy.

And the funny thing is,

I think I had actually
convinced myself

that those meetings
couldn't get any worse.

Hey. What's up, Billy?

- What's wrong with that guy?
- You mean today?

He stepped on a George Foreman
Grill and he burned his foot.

No, not Michael.

The moon-faced kid
who crashed into the pole.

He looks like
he has a concussion.

Okay. Headaches.

Changes in ability
to think and concentrate.

Changes in personality.

All signs of a concussion.

Okay, we have our diagnosis.

Is it weird that
I like him better now

that he has a concussion?

Look, I feel fine.

As a volunteer
sheriff's deputy,

I have been trained
to notice all the signs

of a concussion.

One of them is slurred speech,
okay?

Uh, number three,
shortness of breath.

There are four things
you have to remember.

One, I am faster
than 80% of all snakes.

Also...

[bubble wrap pops]

- Hey!
- Here.

I found the pudding cups
you wanted

at a gas station in Carbondale!

You did it.
Look at you.

And with the plate
and the napkin.

Very nice.
Thank you, Ryan.

- You're very welcome.
- Did you get the yams?

No, the gas station
in Carbondale

did not have fresh yams.

[sighs]
Okay.

- I'll just have the pudding.
- You sure?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You know what?
I feel better.

Ryan brought me
some chocolate pudding,

and his kindness
healed my foot.

Yeah, baby!

I am feelin' better.

My body's literally
healing itself.

It is amazing what
the human body is capable of

when you have a powerful brain.

I ground up
four extra-strength aspirin

and put them
in Michael's pudding.

I do the same thing with my dog

to get him to take
his heartworm medicine.

Oh, finally feel the blood
coursing through my foot veins.

- [thud]
- [groans]

Oh! Okay, I think
we need to take him

to the hospital, because

I'm pretty sure
he has a concussion.

Oh, now you feel
some compassion for him.

He needs to go
right now.

And you're
his emergency contact.

I think you should go with him.

Why don't you go with him?

- I...barely know him.
- I want Michael to take me.

I can't take you.
I don't have my car.

- Please?
- And yours is all vomity.

You can take my van!

Oh, okay.
That's great.

No, I can't drive.
Jim, why don't you drive?

Fine.

We'll go.
I'm still recovering.

So let's just--Ryan,
can you get my coat, please?

Slowly. Let's just get
to the elevator.

- [imitating helicopter]
- What are you doing?

- Vietnam sounds.
- Stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- Tired.
- You can't lay down.

- Just take a rake--
- Wake up!

- Ah!
- Wait. Here.

- Let me help you, Dwight.
- Okay, Pam.

- Get up. Get up.
- Thanks. You're the best.

- Yeah.
- Just keep him awake.

- It smells like chicken soup.
- I know.

- I have to go to the hospital.
- I know.

Where are we going?

I just want to say goodbye, okay?

- I'll be back. I mean...
- Yes, I know.

- But it's gonna be different.
- Why?

It's just hard to explain.

Oh, Pam.
You're adorable.

Oh, my goodness.

- [giggles]
- Come here.

Oh!
Huggy hugs.

Okay. Come here.

- Okay.
- Come here.

No, not you--no!
God, Dwight!

- Okay, I got it.
- Okay.

- Why is there a camera?
- All right. Let's go.

- Get in here, for a second.
- Okay.

- All right, Jim.
- All right.

- All right.
- Don't puke.

Shotgun!

You don't think
you should sit in the back

- with Dwight?
- [scoffs]

The rules of shotgun are
very simple and very clear.

The first person
to shout "shotgun"

when you're within
the sight of the car

gets the front seat.

That's how the game's played.

There are no exceptions
for someone with a concussion.

Oh, God.
A minivan.

What is Meredith's problem?

Well, I think she has a kid.

Yeah, she has one kid
and no husband.

And she's not gonna find one
driving this thing around.

- Where are we going?
- All right.

- Get inside.
- Where are we going?

We're going
to Chuck E. Cheese.

Chuck E. Cheese?
Oh, God.

I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

We're going to the hospital, Michael.

I know.
I'm just sayin'.

- Dwight, what are you drinking?
- I found it under the seat.

Oh, my God. Dwight.

- Put that down.
- I'm thirsty--no!

- Give the bottle to Michael.
- No!

- Give the bottle to Michael.
- I'm thirsty!

- Give it to me, Dwight!
- No.

Just keep your eyes
on the road.

Give me the bottle,
or you're fired!

You can't fire me.
I don't work in this van.

- Give it to me, Dwight!
- No.

- Give me the bottle!
- Stop. Will you stop?

- Give me the bottle, Dwight!
- Michael, stop!

- Just give it!
- Michael, stop! Stop.

- Stop it! Stop spraying!
- Ah!

- Give me the bottle!
- Stop!

Stop spraying me!
Give me the bottle!

Dwight, what is
your middle name?

Danger.

Something with a "K."

It's Kurt.

Wow, I'm so sad
that I know that.

What do I write under
"reason for visit"?

Concussion.

What did you write?

[clears throat]
Nothing.

I wrote, "Bringing someone
to the hospital."

So you thought
they meant your reason

for coming to the hospital.

No, no.
You know what, Jim?

This isn't about me anymore.

I made a miraculous recovery,

which is more
than I can say for him.

Come on, Dwight.

[sputters]

- Hi, Michael.
- Hi, Dwight.

Ah.

Uh.

Doctor, what is more serious?

A head injury,
or a foot injury?

A head injury.

Well, you don't have
all the information.

The foot has been
fairly severely burned,

and, uh, healed quickly.

Very quickly.

Actually, like,
suspiciously quickly.

So I'm ordering a CAT scan.

What is that?

Look, since you have
the machine up and running,

can I just stick my foot in?

- We can take a look.
- Well...

For a burn,
you really just need

to look at the outside
of the foot.

Okay, what kind
of machine is that?

Does the skin
look red and swollen?

That's what she said.

That's my joke.
Damn it, Dwight.

- He stole my joke.
- That's very funny.

Very smart.

We need to get your friend
into the CT machine.

Into a machine?

Okay, uh...

That's bad.
Will you stay with me?

- No.
- Okay.

Will you please
call my cousin, Mose?

No, I'm not calling
your weirdo cousin.

27 years old.
Never left the beet farm.

- God... God...
- Oh, God.

- Oh, God.
- Okay!

I'll stand near you.

- Next to me?
- Next-ish.

Okay, no electronics
past this point.

Camera, sound equipment.

It's okay.
They're with me.

No metal of any kind.

All right. Well, I guess
this is where we leave you off.

I don't wanna do this.

Uh, well, you should have
thought of that

before you crashed your head on
your way to pick me up, so...

We'll see you when you get out.

Oh.

Fine. Fine.

[mic turns off]

[phone rings]

Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.

Dunder Mifflin.
This is Jim.

Oh, my God.
What's going on?

- Is Dwight okay?
- Mm-hmm.

He should be fine,
but they brought him in

for a CAT scan.

I can't believe
he's getting a CAT scan.

Michael went in there
with him too.

It's pretty sweet.

Really?
Michael went in with him?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.

But they shouldn't be
much longer now,

so we'll be back soon.

Okay, that's... good news.

Um, uh, yeah.
No, I'll let you go.

- Okay. Bye.
- Okay. Bye.

- Hey, Oscar?
- What's up, Pam?

Um, I just wanted
to let you know

that Dwight's gonna be okay.

The doctor said there's
a really simple treatment

for a concussion,
so he'll probably even

be back at work tomorrow.

Okay?

I just, uh, thought
you'd wanna know that.

Okay, Mr. Schrute.

Inhale with me on three.

One, two...

Sir, stop that.

Stop!

[bugle toots]

[ascending tone]