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{\an8}[rock music]
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{\an8}♪ ♪
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(woman on speaker phone)
Are you listening to me, Michael?
4
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,380
Affirmative.
5
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,674
What did I just say?
6
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,385
You just said--
Let me, uh...
7
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,470
check my notes.
8
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,971
You just said...
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00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,432
Alan and I have created
an incentive program--
10
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,267
Hey!
Hey, how is Alan?
11
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,188
Tell Alan that the Mets suck.
Okay?
12
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,774
From me, big time.
Go, Pirates!
13
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,275
Not gonna do that, Michael.
14
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,152
We've created an incentive
program to increase sales.
15
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,695
Uh-huh.
16
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,072
At the end of the month,
you can reward your top seller
17
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,282
with a prize worth
up to $1,000.
18
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,784
Whoa, howdy ho.
19
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,369
Wow, 1,000 big ones.
That's cool.
20
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,371
Do I, uh, do I get
to pick the prize?
21
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,539
Uh... yes.
Yes, you can.
22
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,166
Um, question:
23
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:27,545
Does "top salesman" include
people who were at one time
24
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:31,424
such outstanding salesmen
that they've been promoted to--
25
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,425
No, Michael.
26
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,928
No, you can't
win this prize.
27
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,930
I didn't mean me.
28
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,068
{\an8}Hi.
Hi.
29
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,528
{\an8}Good.
I'm Katy.
30
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,821
{\an8}Hi.
Hi.
31
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:53,947
{\an8}Nice to meet you.
What's your name?
32
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{\an8}Pam.
Hi, nice to meet you, Pam.
33
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,242
{\an8}Let me ask you a question.
34
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,077
{\an8}Do you read a lot
of fashion magazines?
35
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,121
{\an8}'Cause you really look
fashion-forward,
36
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,997
{\an8}and I just wanted
to let you know--
37
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:04,666
{\an8}Hi, how are you?
Hi.
38
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,418
{\an8}I have a great
opportunity today
39
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,754
{\an8}to get in on
some of the newest styles,
40
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,089
{\an8}'cause I know
with your working hours,
41
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,091
{\an8}you don't really
probably have a chance
42
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,093
{\an8}to go to the mall
very often.
43
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,720
{\an8}So what I have
to offer you today
44
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{\an8}is some excellent purses.
45
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,683
{\an8}And if I could just have
a space to set up,
46
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,477
{\an8}maybe show you what I have
and some of your other, um--
47
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{\an8}(Pam)
Um... Here, feel that.
48
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,648
{\an8}Yeah, I--yeah.
I really brightens you.
49
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,316
Don't you think that gives her
a nice color?
50
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,985
(Angela)
Uh, I don't--um...
51
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,612
No, I really--
it really suits you.
52
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,157
Um, I've got faux leather.
53
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,575
I have some really great fakes.
54
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,243
You wouldn't even be able
to tell the difference.
55
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,287
Just like all
the movie stars--
56
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,080
I don't wanna interrupt you--
um, sorry.
57
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,292
It--um, we don't usually allow
solicitors in the office.
58
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,795
Well, I'm actually
selling purses.
59
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,422
Right, I--
no, that's what I mean.
60
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,382
I don't--I can't--
I'm just the receptionist.
61
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:58,303
I can't authorize you to, like,
come in and set up or anything.
62
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,138
Okay, is there somebody
that I could talk to?
63
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,308
Like, who would authorize?
Is that you?
64
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,478
Well, first,
what we have to do
65
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,647
is find out what motivates
people more than anything else.
66
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,732
Sex.
67
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:11,649
It's illegal.
I can't do that.
68
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,650
Next best thing.
69
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,651
Torture.
70
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,694
Come on, Dwight.
71
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,653
Just help me out here.
72
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,696
That's stupid.
73
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,655
Um, Michael--
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00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,032
Pam!
75
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,450
Hey, there's--
Burger with cheese!
76
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,160
There's a person here--
And fries!
77
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,495
There's--
And shake!
78
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,871
What?
Go ahead.
79
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,498
There's a person here
who wants to sell handbags.
80
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,458
No, no, no.
No vendors in the office.
81
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,709
That is a distraction.
82
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,002
Okay, I told her you'd
talk to her at least--
83
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,754
Pam, come on, I'm busy.
84
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:33,922
So just
tell her to go away.
85
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,382
Okay.
86
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,426
[sighs]
87
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,765
All right,
I'll talk to her.
88
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,058
This one is hand-embroidered.
89
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,142
All right, girls,
break it up.
90
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,727
You're being infiltrated.
91
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:48,895
Cock in the henhouse.
92
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,730
Cocks in the henhouse.
Don't say cocks.
93
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,357
Oh!
[clears throat]
94
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,443
[British accent]
What is your name, my fair lass?
95
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,361
Katy.
96
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,698
Ah, Katy.
Wow, look at you!
97
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,701
You are, uh, you're like
the new and improved Pam.
98
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,369
Pam 6.0.
99
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,204
[laughing]
Oh, look!
100
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,832
Oh, hey, no cat fights,
you two.
101
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,083
I'm against violence
in the workplace.
102
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,710
So am I.
Nobody cares what you think.
103
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,794
Doesn't matter.
104
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,379
So, uh,
you know what?
105
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,673
I usually don't allow
solicitors in the office.
106
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,634
But today, I am going
to break some rules.
107
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,219
And you can
have the conference room.
108
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,387
It's yours,
all day.
109
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,555
Wow, thanks.
110
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,306
There's an HR meeting
in there at 11:30.
111
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,226
Well, let's put them
in the hallway.
112
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,811
We'll give them
some chairs.
113
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,521
Right?
Decisiveness!
114
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,231
One of the keys
to success,
115
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,275
according
to Small Businessman.
116
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,235
I do, I read
Small Businessman.
117
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:41,072
I also subscribe
to USA Today,
118
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,117
and American Way,
um, magazine.
119
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,744
That's the in-flight
magazine.
120
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,954
Some great articles
in that.
121
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:52,167
They did this great profile
last month
122
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,294
of Doris Roberts,
123
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:57,547
and where she likes to eat
when she's in Phoenix.
124
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,299
Illuminating.
125
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,800
This is my conference room.
126
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,136
So please, uh,
make yourself at home.
127
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,304
Whatever you need,
128
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,639
I'm right on the other side
of this wall.
129
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,600
Used to be a window here.
130
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,934
There's not anymore.
131
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,354
So that's
where I will be.
132
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,980
So...
[clears throat]
133
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,273
If you need anything else,
134
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,816
something to make you
more comfortable...
135
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,193
Just don't hesitate
to ask.
136
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,445
I'm right here.
137
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,404
I'm fine.
138
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,406
Okay.
But I'm here.
139
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,451
If you need me.
whatever you want.
140
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,911
Nope, nothing.
141
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:28,953
Come on. Something.
142
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,372
There's something.
143
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,290
Come on!
There's something.
144
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,917
I guess a cup of coffee
would be great.
145
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,212
Wait a second!
146
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,006
Ah! I should have spotted
another addict.
147
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,800
Oh, gotta love
the 'Bucks!
148
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:42,967
What?
149
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:43,968
It's like a slang
for Starbucks.
150
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,637
They're all over
the place.
151
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,974
Oh, man, that place is like
the promised land to me.
152
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,143
What a business model too.
153
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,062
Oh, too bad we don't
have the good stuff here.
154
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,814
Regular coffee is fine.
155
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,524
No, it's not, it's--
156
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:58,817
No, really, it is.
157
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,318
No, here's the thing.
158
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:06,157
You know,
I do my best to--
159
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,327
to be my own man,
and, uh...
160
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,996
go by the beat
of a different drummer.
161
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,707
And nobody gets me.
162
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,291
And they're always
putting up walls,
163
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,710
and I'm always
tearing them down.
164
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:20,296
Just breaking down barriers.
That's what I do all day.
165
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,719
So... a coffee.
166
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,013
Regular coffee.
For you.
167
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,849
High test or unleaded?
168
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,017
Bring it on.
169
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,643
Ooh, ho!
Whoo!
170
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,812
I will, I'll bring it on!
All right!
171
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,022
You know, you don't wanna say,
172
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,984
"Oh, people find me charming,"
but...
173
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,029
because that's probably not
charming to say that.
174
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,407
But I think people do.
175
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,203
So... are you jealous
176
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,080
'cause there's
another girl around?
177
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,583
No.
178
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,419
She's prettier than you, though.
179
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,467
That's a very rude
thing to say, Kevin.
180
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,598
(Kelly)
Here's the thing what Travers does that in his last job,
181
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,516
he made twice that I think
we can offer.
182
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,101
[shouts]
183
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,853
Can I see that?
Yeah.
184
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,813
Okay, [indistinct].
185
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,942
You know,
when Sanderson came in,
186
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,903
he mentioned his old boss,
187
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:25,987
and I thought
he sounded like
188
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,113
he might have some recommendations.
189
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,531
So you--
190
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,742
I see you like the periwinkles
and the purples.
191
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,288
Looks local, but hot local.
192
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,665
[scoffs]
You kidding?
193
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,335
If she was local, I would've
had her a long time ago.
194
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,754
I think she's
foreign-born.
195
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,548
[indistinct chatter]
196
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,008
Really?
197
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,095
Yeah.
You see those calves?
198
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,429
Sinewy.
199
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,808
Definitely
western European stock.
200
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,727
The purse girl hits
everything on my checklist.
201
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,980
Creamy skin,
straight teeth,
202
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,484
curly hair,
amazing breasts--
203
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,444
not for me,
for my children.
204
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,698
The Schrutes produce
very thirsty babies.
205
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,291
This is really well made.
206
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,669
Good stitching.
Excellent fabric.
207
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,297
You sell a lot of these?
208
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,299
It's very popular, yeah.
209
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,468
I knew it.
Is it waterproof?
210
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,887
I'm not sure.
It's faux snakeskin.
211
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,472
Snakes are waterproof,
212
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,392
so I'm betting
that it's waterproof.
213
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,227
Do you know the difference
between a snake and an eel?
214
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,478
No.
215
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,188
'Cause I could look it up
really easily.
216
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,898
You're really
into reptiles, huh?
217
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,485
My belt is made out of
alligator, check it out.
218
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,738
Oh, um, it's okay.
Dwight, Dwight!
219
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,823
Okay, that's it.
Keep it in your pants.
220
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,409
I was just showing her my belt.
Well, don't do that.
221
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,036
Where are your glasses?
I--
222
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,287
He wears glasses.
Did you know that?
223
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,580
Not all the time.
224
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,165
Well, now,
suddenly he can see.
225
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,000
[laughs]
Okay, take off.
226
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,960
See ya.
Bye-bye.
227
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,045
There you go!
228
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,671
Nice, steaming hot
cup of joe.
229
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,382
Thank you.
Oh, I know. Your hero.
230
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,634
Yeah, saving you from
Animal Planet Jack over there.
231
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,635
[both laugh]
232
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,596
He asks a lot
of questions.
233
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,181
Yeah, yeah,
he is the worst.
234
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,016
Um, I have an idea.
235
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,601
Why don't I
introduce you around?
236
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,644
You know, you can kind of
get your foot in the door,
237
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,646
meet potential clientele, right?
238
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,648
Gosh, I'm--
I would love to,
239
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,692
but my purses,
I should, um--
240
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,861
Oh, um, well,
we can have Ryan take a look.
241
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,696
Ryan, would you look
after the purses, please?
242
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,531
Uh, I'm installing file share
on all the computers.
243
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,158
Yeah, well, blah
dee blooh dah blah blah.
244
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,493
Techno babble.
245
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,370
Just do it, okay?
We have company, right?
246
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,747
Here we go.
247
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,457
Thank you.
248
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,420
The perfect girl for me
would be Konikotaka.
249
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,297
She has the most
amazing story.
250
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:50,715
She was orphaned
at the age of ten
251
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,384
when both her parents
were assassinated,
252
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,802
and she was taken in
by a wealthy
253
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,970
but very cruel businessman,
254
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,682
so she practiced aikido
in secret for years
255
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,434
until she could avenge
the death of her parents.
256
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,020
You should sell
a lot here,
257
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,190
because this branch made
over $1 million last year.
258
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,525
Not that we're
all millionaires.
259
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,610
I'm probably closest, so...
260
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,321
Here's Oscar!
Oscar, this is Katy.
261
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,406
I'm on the phone.
262
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,449
Ooh, ooh, oh,
Oscar the Grouch.
263
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,410
Right?
I thought of that.
264
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,911
That was
on Sesame Street.
265
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,329
I know, I know, I know.
266
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,580
I made the connection.
267
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,915
Can you believe
he'd never heard that
268
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,417
before he worked here?
269
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,793
No, I don't
believe that.
270
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,503
I know,
it's unbelievable.
271
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,964
It's nice
having Katy around.
272
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:35,260
It's another person
for Michael to, um...
273
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,595
interact with.
274
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,642
I mean,
whatever one you want.
275
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,227
Um, I like that one,
I think.
276
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,604
Okay.
277
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,607
Yeah, I mean, it looks
really good, probably--
278
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,153
Thank you, Al Gore
for the Internet.
279
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:56,281
You can send messages
from one side of the globe
280
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,824
to the other
in the blink of an eye.
281
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,701
Can you believe we couldn't
do that ten years ago?
282
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,327
We could do that
ten years ago.
283
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,456
Right, but 20 years ago we
couldn't, and that is amazing.
284
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,416
Here is Toby
from Human Resources.
285
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,585
Katy, Toby.
286
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,961
Toby, Katy!
Hi, nice to meet you.
287
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,547
Did you go
to Bishop O'Hara?
288
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,257
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
289
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,467
Cool.
What year were you there?
290
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,968
'89.
Toby's divorced.
291
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,887
He, uh... God.
292
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,347
Recently, right?
293
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,723
Yeah.
You and your wife?
294
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,308
And you have kids?
A girl.
295
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,684
Oh, that's so...
296
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,686
That was really messy.
297
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:30,523
You slept one night
in your car too?
298
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,025
I should probably
299
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,151
get back to my table.
300
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,486
Okay, all right.
301
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,863
Cool.
See you in a bit.
302
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,534
Oh!
Hey, she's cute.
303
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,329
Cutie pie.
Back to work!
304
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,331
I live by one rule.
305
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,625
No office romances,
no way.
306
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,920
Very messy, inappropriate.
307
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,296
No.
308
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,756
But...
309
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,258
I live by another rule.
310
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,469
Just do it. Nike.
311
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,349
Hey, Jimmy,
what do you think
312
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,517
about that little
purse girl, huh?
313
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,686
Cute, sure, yeah.
314
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,229
Why don't you
get on that?
315
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,231
She's not really my type.
316
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,691
What, are you gay?
317
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,402
Mmm, I don't
think so, no.
318
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,779
(Kevin)
Well, what is your type?
319
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,741
Moms... primarily.
320
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,452
Yep, soccer moms,
single moms, NASCAR moms.
321
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,079
Any type of mom, really.
322
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,497
That's disgusting.
323
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,623
(Kevin)
Stay away from my mom.
324
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,625
Too late, Kev.
325
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,964
Oh.
326
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,675
Man, I would be all over that
if I wasn't dating Pam.
327
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:43,096
We're not dating,
we're engaged.
328
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,473
Engaged, yeah.
329
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,530
(Jim)
Pam and I are good buddies.
330
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,698
I'm sort of Pam's
go-to guy
331
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,616
for her problems.
332
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,702
You know,
with stuff like work
333
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,413
or, uh, her fiancé Roy.
334
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,915
Or, um...
335
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,835
Nope, those are pretty much
her only two problems.
336
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,171
(Jim)
She'd be perfect for you.
337
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,172
(Dwight)
Mmm.
338
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,257
She's been talking
to Michael a lot.
339
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,633
So what?
340
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,052
You're Assistant
Regional Manager.
341
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,636
Assistant to
the Regional Manager.
342
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:24,637
Well, you know what,
Dwight?
343
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,139
He's your work boss, okay?
344
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,599
He is not
your relationship boss.
345
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,683
That's true.
346
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,976
Plus, you have
so much more
347
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,187
to talk to this girl about.
348
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:35,398
You're both, um, salesmen.
349
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,775
I mean, that's something
right there.
350
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,692
True.
351
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,319
Plus, I could talk to her
352
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,030
about the origins
of my last name.
353
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,074
It's all gold.
354
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,826
Guys are usually
my best customers.
355
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,286
They buy
the high-end stuff,
356
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,538
like the beads
and the sequins and stuff,
357
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,499
for gifts, you know.
358
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,667
They don't know
what they're looking at,
359
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,919
so I make suggestions.
360
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,629
All right,
here's the thing, okay?
361
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,130
You just
keep talking to her.
362
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,840
If you hit a stall,
you have a perfect fallback.
363
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,759
What's that?
You buy a purse.
364
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,427
I don't want a purse.
Purses are for girls.
365
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,762
Dwight, that's not
necessarily true.
366
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,305
Do you read GQ?
367
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,723
No.
Okay, I do.
368
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,392
They're like mini briefcases,
all right?
369
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,143
Lots of guys have them.
370
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,728
Like those?
Yes!
371
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,855
Listen, you are spending
way too much time
372
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,691
talking to me when
you could be talking to her.
373
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,900
Okay, I'm just gonna
use the bathroom and then--
374
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,527
No, you don't
need the bathroom.
375
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,779
You've got it. Go.
376
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,117
[whispering]
Okay, shh. Stop.
377
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,451
Stop whatever
you're doing,
378
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:31,413
'cause this
is going to be good.
379
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,373
(Jim)
[high voice mimicking] Hi, my name is Dwight Schrute,
380
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,625
and I would like
to buy a purse from you.
381
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,877
Good Lord,
look at these purses!
382
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,046
This is something special.
383
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:45,552
Oh, my God, is this
Salvatore Dacinni purse?
384
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,304
Oh, definitely--definitely step
in and out of it like that.
385
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,724
(Jim)
Yes, well, I want to stress test it.
386
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:51,850
You know,
387
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,393
in case anything happens.
388
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,936
Oh!
Oh!
389
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,939
[laughing]
That was really--
390
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,649
This is necessary to do
391
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,317
to really give it
a good workout.
392
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,236
This is the--ooh.
393
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,947
This is the prettiest
one of all.
394
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,575
I'm gonna be the prettiest
girl in the ball.
395
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,784
Oh, how much?
396
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,995
Oh, God, it's sad.
397
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,288
It's so sad.
398
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,582
It is sad. Oh.
399
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,375
You know, Michael's been
talking to her too.
400
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,460
Oh, really?
401
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,711
What do you think
his chances are?
402
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,671
Well, Pam,
I'm not gonna lie to you.
403
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,883
His chances are none.
404
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,885
Um, he's 41 years old.
405
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,262
He is losing his hair.
406
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:33,850
And his cell phone ring
is "Mambo No. 5.," so...
407
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,727
(Pam)
I like that song.
408
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,729
I don't know, though.
I mean, you know--
409
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:40,482
that was a hit, you know?
410
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,275
Ten years ago.
411
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,860
Yeah, was it ten?
412
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:47,030
Yeah, I have it on a mixtape
from junior high.
413
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,156
Oh.
414
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,748
[giggling]
415
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,124
He did pick
a good one.
416
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,167
You're horrible.
417
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,336
This one's really good
for a hot date.
418
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,379
Yeah, what's that?
419
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,421
[both laugh]
420
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,506
I'm engaged.
421
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,632
Oh, congratulations.
422
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,800
You need a hot date
more than anyone.
423
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,301
Oh, I wish, right?
424
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,512
Giggle, giggle,
shooshy, shooshy.
425
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,013
I get it, I get it.
426
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,474
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya
Sisterhood over here.
427
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:15,725
Right?
428
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,645
So, how was that coffee
from earlier?
429
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,813
It was good.
430
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,564
Ah, I knew it.
431
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,818
Guzzled it down.
You greedy little thing.
432
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,487
So, uh, Pam,
is this your lunch break
433
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,322
or was that earlier,
434
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:32,450
when you were eating
in the kitchen with those guys?
435
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,121
[gasps]
Sorry.
436
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,455
Busted.
437
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,665
[laughs]
438
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:39,833
Come back?
Oh, hey!
439
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,167
I wanna show you something.
440
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,711
Come here.
I wanna show you something.
441
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:44,379
I know you
are gonna like this.
442
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,506
Picked it up today.
1,000 big ones.
443
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,841
Is that from Starbucks?
444
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,802
Yes, this is a Starbucks
Digital Barista.
445
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,138
This is the mack daddy
of espresso makers.
446
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,056
Wow, is that
for the office?
447
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,766
Oh, I know
what you're thinking.
448
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,476
Ooh, you're not prying this
out of my hands.
449
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,186
[laughs]
450
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,813
But don't tempt me,
'cause I'll give it to you.
451
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,107
I wouldn't think of it.
452
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:07,193
Coffee is the great
"incentivizer" in the office.
453
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,946
It's a drug--
it is quite literally a drug
454
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,198
that speeds people up.
455
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,367
It's not the only drug
that speeds people up.
456
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:18,163
You hear stories about
Dunder Mifflin in the '80s
457
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,999
before everybody knew
how bad cocaine was.
458
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,460
Gah--man,
did they move paper!
459
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:28,923
Oh, the rotating, uh,
steam... wand.
460
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,718
What?
What's the matter?
461
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,471
Oh, nothing.
My ride just bailed on me.
462
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,598
Oh, oh, God, I'm sorry.
463
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,766
Is it--
Oh, no, it's--
464
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,017
Where you going?
Nearby?
465
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,101
Because I could
give you a ride.
466
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,644
No.
Sure?
467
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,813
I don't wanna
inconvenience you.
468
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:45,357
No, no, no, no, no!
No inconvenience.
469
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,150
I mean, I'm out of here
at 5:00 sharp.
470
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,361
At 5:00?
I can go earlier, 'cause I'm the boss.
471
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,323
You know, whatever.
I'm outta here... slaves. Okay.
472
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,407
What?
473
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,868
Okay.
Okay!
474
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,037
I guess that would be--
I guess that would be okay.
475
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,081
Okay, sounds good,
sounds good.
476
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,000
5:00 sharp, I will give you
and your purses a ride home.
477
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,585
Okay, cool. Excellent.
478
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:06,586
Right! Great!
479
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:07,587
Cool.
Cool!
480
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,547
Cool!
481
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:13,885
Nyah, okay.
482
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,387
Why do women find
Michael Scott attractive?
483
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,097
Why do women appeal
to Michael Scott?
484
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,684
Um, I guess because
I'm an authority figure.
485
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,811
Because I have
a lot of power.
486
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,646
Women are attracted
to that.
487
00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:25,939
That's appealing to women.
488
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,857
Um, I think I'm a little bit
of a bad boy.
489
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,317
There's a little mystery
to me.
490
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,569
I don't just lay it
all out there, I think.
491
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,947
Um, you know, you have
to hold something back.
492
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,783
Um, I don't think
I'm too shabby to look at.
493
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:40,286
Um, I wouldn't kick me
out of bed for eating crackers.
494
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:46,001
Um, but I guess--I think
my comedy really is the--
495
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,128
is the topper, um...
496
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,587
That's the way to get in,
you know?
497
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:53,133
I think that's really what's--
What's the saying?
498
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,968
"Once they're laughing,
they're--that's--"
499
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:57,137
Once they're laughing,
that 50% of them
500
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,472
being horizontal?
So...
501
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,182
Not that--I'm just--
502
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:04,269
Not that that's my--
that's what I'm trying to do,
503
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,480
but I think it helps,
kind of melts the ice.
504
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,149
Breaks the ice--melts.
505
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,359
Breaks the ice and melts them.
Melts their hearts.
506
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,410
Went well?
507
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:25,290
I think it did.
508
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,208
You know what?
Just in case she's looking,
509
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,711
you should put some stuff
in there.
510
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:32,464
Seriously?
511
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,591
Anything.
512
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,345
Good.
513
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,056
Yup.
514
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,183
Oh, Post-it notes.
515
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,726
Wow, the purse
holds a lot.
516
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:45,810
It's a mini briefcase.
517
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:46,936
Yeah.
Oh, I know.
518
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,730
Looks great.
519
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,940
[clears throat]
520
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,491
Do you like Steve Miller?
No.
521
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,869
'Cause I'm in
a Steve Miller tribute--
522
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,038
tribute band.
523
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,957
I should never have
let the temp touch this thing.
524
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,459
I had all these
great icons,
525
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,253
and now I have
four folders, so...
526
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,421
It's actually
better this way.
527
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,131
No, it's not,
because I could just
528
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,092
click on the icon
and then I'm onto something--
529
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,718
Michael, could I
ask you something?
530
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,680
I wanted to ask your permission
to ask out Katy.
531
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,264
I know it's against
the rules and everything--
532
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,933
No, no, no, it's not
against the rules.
533
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,059
[clears throat]
534
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:27,435
She is not
a permanent employee,
535
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:28,645
so it's not.
536
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,313
Thank you, Michael.
I appreciate this so much.
537
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,731
But I think
you should just know
538
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:35,485
that I am going to be
giving her a ride home later.
539
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,070
What?
540
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,279
She asked me for a ride,
541
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,907
and so I'm going
to give her a ride home.
542
00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,450
Is that all it is?
543
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:43,618
Just a ride home?
544
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,120
Like a taxi cab?
545
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,914
Well, it might
be a ride home.
546
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:52,627
Might be a ride home,
and we stop for coffee and...
547
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,379
dot, dot, dot.
548
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,092
Please... please...
549
00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,427
I am your inferior,
550
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,470
and I'm asking you
this favor.
551
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,432
Can you promise me that
it will just be a ride home?
552
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,604
No.
I cannot promise.
553
00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:13,732
You cannot promise me,
or you won't promise me?
554
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,775
Listen, Dwight--
555
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:16,985
Do you love her?
556
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:18,069
[scoffs]
Dwight, no.
557
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,739
I--I don't know.
558
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,198
It's too early to tell.
559
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,368
I--I don't know
how I feel.
560
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:32,042
I think you've made
a really good choice.
561
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,126
She's really
gonna like that.
562
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,003
Hmm.
Espresso?
563
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:36,087
Oh, thank you.
564
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,672
You're welcome.
565
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:38,840
Thank you.
566
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:39,924
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
567
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,259
Mmm!
568
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,595
Is that from the machine
that was in your office?
569
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,221
Mm-hmm.
570
00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:46,389
I thought that
was the incentive prize
571
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,099
for the top sales person.
572
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,143
Very easy to clean.
573
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:52,062
Okay.
574
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:53,730
Like he's gonna
win anyway.
575
00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,523
[snickers]
Right?
576
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,196
Hey, Dwight.
I need your stapler.
577
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,740
It's in my purse.
Oh, great, thanks.
578
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,163
Did we get any mail?
579
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:11,790
Yeah, I gave it to you.
580
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,583
Yes, you did.
Yes, you did.
581
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,086
Just checking.
Just checking, double checking.
582
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:17,545
Checking on the check.
583
00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:21,591
Thoroughness is very
important in an office, and--
584
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:22,717
So can I--
585
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:23,718
Yeah, yeah.
586
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:24,969
Of course.
587
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,304
Uh, Pam, one more thing.
588
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:28,598
Um, how do girls your age
feel about futons?
589
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:31,267
(Jim)
A futon?
590
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:33,061
He's a grown man.
591
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:34,604
That's what he said.
592
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:36,231
That's sad.
593
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,315
Or it's innovative.
594
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,525
Well, you know,
the futon
595
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:41,611
is a bed and couch
all rolled into one.
596
00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:42,612
What's up?
597
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,739
Hi.
598
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,741
Are you still
mad at me?
599
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,118
Roy...
600
00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:49,536
Come on.
Cut it out.
601
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:50,704
Come on,
are you mad at me?
602
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,038
Stop it!
Are you still mad at me now?
603
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,289
Cut it out.
Are you mad at me now?
604
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:54,582
[laughing]
Stop! Huh?
605
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,710
[laughing]
Huh? Come on.
606
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:58,628
Come on, Pammy.
Stop, I can't breathe.
607
00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,255
I was just kidding.
You know I didn't mean it.
608
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,090
[Pam laughing]
609
00:23:02,132 --> 00:23:03,133
(Pam)
Jim's a great guy.
610
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,718
He's like a brother to me.
611
00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:06,678
We're, like,
best friends in the office.
612
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,931
And I really hope
he finds someone.
613
00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,683
You seem to like
to touch things.
614
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:13,643
You should
try the velvet.
615
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:16,187
I don't like
to necessarily touch things.
616
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,274
I'm just--
I'm shopping.
617
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:22,944
Oh, no,
it's fine that you--
618
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:25,363
Here, what about
the raspberry one?
619
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,991
It's really, um,
kind of festive.
620
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,784
It's got a lot
of personality.
621
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,244
Hey, how's it going?
Hey.
622
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,246
Good, could I talk to you
for a second, in private?
623
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:35,081
I don't think so.
I'm really busy.
624
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:36,374
It'll just take a second.
I can't.
625
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:38,084
Just for a minute.
Please? I really can't.
626
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,586
I wanted to talk to you
in private because
627
00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:42,255
I wanted to ask you
out on a date.
628
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:44,883
No.
629
00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:54,976
Okay, was that "no"
to talking to me in private
630
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:57,687
or was that "no" to the date?
631
00:23:57,729 --> 00:23:59,856
Both.
632
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,654
What colors
do you like?
633
00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:10,325
(Angela)
Gray, dark gray, charcoal.
634
00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:12,452
Let me describe
the perfect date.
635
00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:16,039
I take her out
to a nice dinner.
636
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,208
She looks amazing.
637
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,126
Some guy tries
to hit on her.
638
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:22,504
[scoffs]
Now he wants to fight.
639
00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:24,673
So I grab him,
I throw him into a jukebox.
640
00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:27,133
Then the other ninja's
got a knife--he comes at me.
641
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,219
We grapple.
I turn his knife on him.
642
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:30,720
Blood on the dance floor.
643
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:32,597
She's scared now.
I take her home.
644
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,182
I'm holding her
in my arms.
645
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,725
I reach in for a kiss.
646
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,185
I hear something
in the leaves.
647
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,561
I flip her around.
648
00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:41,398
She gets a poison arrow
right in her back.
649
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:44,359
She was in on it
the whole time.
650
00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:47,612
But I knew.
651
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:51,533
Ryan...
Yeah?
652
00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:52,992
Would you like to help me
with a special project?
653
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:54,869
I would love to.
Well, all right.
654
00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:58,373
Okay, just throw out
all the empties.
655
00:24:58,415 --> 00:24:59,624
You don't want
to recycle them?
656
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,710
Um... yes.
657
00:25:01,751 --> 00:25:05,296
Throw them away
in the recycling bin.
658
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,466
Do you want this?
659
00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:10,969
No.
660
00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:12,429
What about this bottle
of power drink?
661
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:13,680
Uh, what flavor?
662
00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:14,514
Blue.
663
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:15,640
Blue's not a flavor.
664
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:17,267
It says,
"Flavor: Blue Blast."
665
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:19,477
Oh, Blue Blast, yes.
Put that in the trunk.
666
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:21,730
And there should be an unopened
Arctic Chill back there.
667
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:23,898
I want that
in the passenger's cup holder.
668
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,859
Thank you.
669
00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:36,202
Hi.
Hi.
670
00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:38,038
I'm Jim, by the way.
I'm Katy.
671
00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:39,122
Hi, Katy,
nice to meet you.
672
00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:40,415
You sit out there,
don't you? I do.
673
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:41,541
That's what
I'm best known for.
674
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,543
[laughs]
Sitting out there.
675
00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:45,670
All right,
let's talk about purses.
676
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:46,963
Okay, um--
677
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:48,173
Katy, but,
you know what?
678
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,424
Don't try to sell me one.
679
00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,301
Okay, seriously.
680
00:25:51,343 --> 00:25:53,094
Because I'm just here
to learn.
681
00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:54,471
Okay.
682
00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:56,514
So I know about
most of these, but-- Okay.
683
00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:59,893
Whoa, stop! Whoa!
That's my Drakkar Noir.
684
00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:01,603
No, this says
Rite Aid "Night Swept."
685
00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:03,229
No, it is a perfect
smell-alike.
686
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,356
I'm not paying
for the label.
687
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,482
Right here, give it.
688
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:06,775
It's empty.
No, it's not.
689
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:08,860
There's some
in the straw.
690
00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:13,907
There, now.
You may throw it out.
691
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,870
Wow.
692
00:26:18,912 --> 00:26:20,789
How many Filet-O-Fishes
do you eat?
693
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:23,375
That's over
several months, Ryan.
694
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:26,211
Still...
695
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,797
All right.
That's looking good.
696
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:31,591
Hey, um, Ryan, do you have
any music I can borrow?
697
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:32,926
What kind do you like?
698
00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:34,761
[grunts]
You know, everything, really.
699
00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:36,930
I love it all.
I love music.
700
00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:38,765
Do you like hip-hop?
Do you like indie rock?
701
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,475
Yes, I love
both of those so much.
702
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:42,060
A lot of 'em.
Okay.
703
00:26:42,102 --> 00:26:43,353
Do you like The Strokes?
704
00:26:43,395 --> 00:26:44,604
Mm-hmm.
I like 'em.
705
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:45,772
Do you like The Hives?
706
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:48,316
Yes, God.
They're awesome.
707
00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:50,318
You like the Fleeples?
The Glorps?
708
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:51,569
Uh-huh.
Yup.
709
00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:52,821
That last thing
they did was great.
710
00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,864
Yeah, I had a feeling
you'd like those.
711
00:26:54,906 --> 00:26:57,158
Cool, so maybe hook me up
with some Fleeples
712
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,368
and some hive.
713
00:26:58,410 --> 00:27:01,204
Absolutely.
All right.
714
00:27:01,246 --> 00:27:02,872
This is gonna be good.
715
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,915
What's up?
716
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,333
I'm bored.
717
00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:07,877
Thank you
for choosing me.
718
00:27:07,919 --> 00:27:09,004
No, I'm kidding.
719
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:11,965
Um, so you got
big plans this weekend?
720
00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:15,427
Uh... well, I think
I'm gonna see Katy.
721
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:16,886
Really?
722
00:27:16,928 --> 00:27:18,555
Yeah.
723
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,223
What are you guys
gonna do?
724
00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:22,142
Oh, man, I don't know.
725
00:27:22,183 --> 00:27:25,020
Uh, dinner,
drinks, movie...
726
00:27:25,061 --> 00:27:26,563
matching tattoos.
727
00:27:27,731 --> 00:27:28,898
That's great.
Big stuff.
728
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,567
That's, mmm. Yeah.
729
00:27:30,608 --> 00:27:31,943
What are you doing?
730
00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:33,862
I was gonna say
I think that, um...
731
00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:35,947
we're gonna
help Roy's cousin move.
732
00:27:35,989 --> 00:27:38,408
Okay.
'Cause Roy's got a truck.
733
00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:40,493
That's cool.
734
00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:41,870
Uh-huh.
735
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,038
Yes.
736
00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:44,581
That is cool.
737
00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:46,082
But I'll see you
Monday, though, right?
738
00:27:46,124 --> 00:27:47,292
Great.
739
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:48,918
Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna head back.
740
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,087
All right.
741
00:27:56,009 --> 00:27:58,553
(Michael)
I think, in order to be a ladies' man,
742
00:27:58,595 --> 00:27:59,721
it's imperative that people
743
00:27:59,763 --> 00:28:01,556
don't know
you're a ladies' man.
744
00:28:01,598 --> 00:28:04,142
So I kind of play that
close to the chest.
745
00:28:04,184 --> 00:28:05,560
Ryan, where are my maps?
746
00:28:05,602 --> 00:28:06,728
We don't like to flaunt it.
747
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:08,313
Where do I go to get maps?
748
00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:11,066
I mean, but I'm not--
it's not like I'm showing off.
749
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:13,568
Ryan, what did you do
to my computer?
750
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,028
I'm supposed to have maps, right?
751
00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:16,237
But...
752
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:17,781
Where?
753
00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:21,326
They see me as a big,
powerful businessman here
754
00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:23,536
who kinda swaggers
around a little bit.
755
00:28:23,578 --> 00:28:25,163
It's really not even fair.
756
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,417
I don't know, what can I say?
Women are attracted to power.
757
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:31,920
And I think...
758
00:28:31,961 --> 00:28:34,798
other people have told me
I have a very symmetrical face.
759
00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:38,385
[laughs]
760
00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:40,762
I don't know.
I don't know.
761
00:28:40,804 --> 00:28:43,848
Maybe they're right.
I don't know.
762
00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:51,398
Hi.
Here, you can have this.
763
00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:55,485
It's a mini briefcase,
but you can use it as a purse.
764
00:28:57,112 --> 00:28:59,155
Uh, thank you.
765
00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:17,799
(Michael)
Sure you don't want me to help you with that?
766
00:29:17,841 --> 00:29:19,300
'Cause I can grab that,
no problem.
767
00:29:19,342 --> 00:29:20,593
(Katy)
Good night, it was nice to meet some of you.
768
00:29:20,635 --> 00:29:22,971
See ya later!
Good night!
769
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:25,598
Good night, Jim.
770
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,225
Good night, Michael.
771
00:29:27,267 --> 00:29:28,935
Where you going?
772
00:29:28,977 --> 00:29:32,147
I don't know.
Grab a drink, I think.
773
00:29:32,188 --> 00:29:34,482
With us?
774
00:29:34,524 --> 00:29:36,276
I, um, I probably
should have told you,
775
00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:37,569
I don't need a ride now
776
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:38,862
'cause Jim can
take me home after.
777
00:29:38,903 --> 00:29:40,113
So you're off the hook.
778
00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:41,740
Okay, great, off the hook. Excellent.
779
00:29:41,781 --> 00:29:43,491
Okay, cool--all right.
(Jim) I got this.
780
00:29:43,533 --> 00:29:46,911
Have fun.
Don't drink and drive.
781
00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:47,996
Take it easy.
782
00:29:48,038 --> 00:29:48,997
Have a good night.
You too.
783
00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:50,415
Have a good night!
You got that?
784
00:29:50,457 --> 00:29:52,083
Oh, yeah.
785
00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:54,085
You sold a lot,
so it's lighter.
786
00:29:54,127 --> 00:29:55,587
I bet.
787
00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,130
Well, here...
788
00:29:57,172 --> 00:29:59,507
[clears throat loudly]
789
00:29:59,549 --> 00:30:01,176
[engine turns]
790
00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:03,386
All right, now,
I'm gonna warn you.
791
00:30:03,428 --> 00:30:04,971
Don't freak out, okay?
Why?
792
00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:06,639
This is a really nice car.
793
00:30:06,681 --> 00:30:08,975
In case you haven't noticed,
this is a Corolla, okay?
794
00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:11,019
It's a very nice car.
795
00:30:11,061 --> 00:30:12,729
So you're not
gonna freak out?
796
00:30:12,771 --> 00:30:15,523
(Michael)
Do I have a special someone?
797
00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:18,276
Uh, well, yeah,
of course.
798
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:19,361
A bunch of 'em.
799
00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:21,905
My employees.
800
00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:24,032
If I had to choose between
a one-night stand
801
00:30:24,074 --> 00:30:26,159
with some stupid cow
I pick up at a bar
802
00:30:26,201 --> 00:30:27,494
and these people,
803
00:30:27,535 --> 00:30:28,953
I'd pick them every time.
804
00:30:28,995 --> 00:30:32,874
Because with them,
it is an every day stand.
805
00:30:32,916 --> 00:30:36,294
And I still know
their names in the morning.
806
00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:42,926
Doris Roberts.
807
00:30:42,967 --> 00:30:44,010
Did you know,
when she's in Phoenix,
808
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:46,763
she likes to eat
at Harter's?
809
00:30:46,805 --> 00:30:52,018
It's this, uh,
it's, like, a barbeque place.
810
00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:55,522
She loves barbeque.
So I didn't know that before.
811
00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:58,692
I read a profile
of Corbin Bernsen.
812
00:30:58,733 --> 00:31:00,026
And that man--
813
00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:03,154
did you know that he used
to play Little League?
814
00:31:03,196 --> 00:31:05,365
Like, back--like--
815
00:31:05,407 --> 00:31:08,201
see, I didn't--
I didn't see him as athletic.
816
00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:11,621
I read a profile
of Red Buttons.
817
00:31:11,663 --> 00:31:13,540
Consummate entertainer.
818
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:16,459
I read a profile
of Bronson Pinchot,
819
00:31:16,501 --> 00:31:21,339
and his adventures in Tuscany--
it was great.
820
00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:24,634
It was charming, it was funny, um...
821
00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:26,928
But I learned something too.
57498
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