All language subtitles for The.North.Avenue.Irregulars.1979.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[ Gunshots, whistles,
sirens blaring ]

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[ Horn honks ]

[ Tires screech, engine revs ]

[ Siren blaring ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Woman screams ]

[ Water trickling, footsteps running ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Dogs barking ]

[ Man laughing ]

[ Girl ]
Ooh, it's so pretty.

Yeah.
Let's go look.

God?

Are you home?
Dean!

Well, Dad always says
it's god's house.

Let's go look around.
Okay.

I wonder what's up there.

You better get down. You're gonna get in trouble.
Dean! Okay. Yeow!

Whoa! Whoa!

- Help!
- Dean!

Help! Somebody help me!
Help me! Rose!

That sounds like your husband, Mrs. Rafferty.

Help! Where are you?
That's Delaney, all right.
Now what is he up to?

[ Bells chiming ]

[ Delaney ]
Help! Help!
Hey, that's someone in trouble.

What did you do?
Nothing.

[ Women chattering, excitedly ]

Gangway!

Delaney, what are you
doing up there?

You're supposed to be painting.

Rose, now, don't start.

- Don't you yell at me.
- Don't jump, Mr. Rafferty.

You've got lots to live for.
You think I don't know that?

Why doesn't somebody get a ladder?

- There's one out back. Okay, come on.
- I'll give you a hand.

You can stop
your hollering, Delaney.

They're coming for you.
Hurry, hurry. Me hands are...

[ Women screaming ]

Has anybody called the fire department?
There's a phone in the office.

Gangway!
[ Delaney ] Come on! Come on!

Hang on.
We got the ladder.

Hang on!
It's coming up.

- Stop kicking around! You'll tire yourself out!
- It's too short.

Maybe we should take the ladder up to
the belfry and lower it down to him.

Hey, that's a good idea.
Yeah, do that.
Take that down.

- Everybody, push.
- Where are you going now?

Well, can't you get the cat
out of the tree later?

Well, a man's life is in danger.

Forward! Forward!

Go back. Back up.

It's the North Avenue
Presbyterian Church.

Hurry! Hurry!
That's the way to go.

- Honey!
- Go back! Go back!

Hold on!
They're coming!

Hold on!

- Somebody, get around.
- [ Rose ] Move it! Hurry up, you two!

[ Groans ]
Sorry.

[ Groans ]
Sorry.

Ouch.
Sorry.

Ow!
Sorry.

That ain't gonna make
much of a cushion.

Hey, you with the flowered shirt.
Could you just take the end there?

Sure.
[ Rose ] Hang on, Delaney!

Grab on to the ladder,
Mr. Rafferty.

- Pull me up.
- Okay.

Ready? Pull.

- Oh, I can't look. I can't look.
- Help! Somebody help!

Delaney! Delaney!
Grab on to the ladder!

[ Yelling ]

Help, somebody!

The other side.
The other side.

Rose, the will is
in the top drawer!

- Is he all right?
- [ Rose ] Is he all right? Can you see anything?

[ Delaney ]
Rosie! Rosie!

Delaney! Delaney!
Me poor darlin'!
Are you all right?

Thanks to you, Rosie, me darlin'.
Ah!

Don't touch me.
You're a mess.

Where's Dad?
Dad!

Dad, are you all right?
Dad!

Are you all right?
Who's he?

I'm Reverend Hill,
your new pastor.

Oh, he's the new pastor.

[ Delaney ]
Glory be!
It's the new pastor.

I hope you were praying for
me when I was up there.

Welcome to New Campton,
Reverend. I'm Cleo Jackson.

[ Woman ]
I hope he feels all right.

[ Chattering ]

Look, we tried to be on time.
It was just an awful mistake.

The whole thing, from start to finish.
I volunteer voluntarily,

except I have baby-sitting problems.

Would you please let him get his
hat off before you start that?

Reverend Hill, I'm Claire Porter.
How do you do?

Well, you know, we didn't
expect you till tomorrow.

We would've had a less hectic
reception if we'd known.

Would you happen to have a little of that
sacramental wine on the premises, Reverend?

Sacramental. Watch your hands.
You wanna get paint all over the Reverend's chair?

Haven't you done enough
for one day?

Please, let's go home
and get you cleaned up.

Rosie, you're straining me patience.
Oh, I'll strain more than that.

- Isn't this nice?
- Very... nice.

[ Horn honks ]

- Oh, that must be Howard.
- Howard?

My fiance. I told him I'd be
waiting for him out front.

If-if-if you get a chance,
please check your calendar,

because we're getting married June 25, and
we'd like you to perform the ceremony.

- Oh, thank you. That's...
- It's really been... Oh, sorry.

- It's really been a pleasure meeting you. Bye.
- Bye.

I have to dash too.
It's been terribly nice.
I have to pick up my children...

And I have to get
my dog Bruno out of the vet.

They charge an extra day if I
leave him in there after 4:00.

He was, uh, foaming at the mouth.

Well, Saint Bernards do.
But, uh, it was quite an excessive amount.

I think it was just an oral problem.
Nothing rabid. Well, good-bye.

- My, you're a tall one.
- [ Cleo ] Come on, Claire.

I do believe our dear Reverend has a lot to do
and can use the time. See you later, Annie.

Have a nice day.
Come on, darlin'.

You'll see him another day.
You'll see him in church.
Good-bye.

Good-bye.

- Quite a group.
- Yes, they are.

- Oh. Oh, I'm-I'm Anne Woods.
- How do you do?

Here's the list
of the church membership.

Minutes of the meetings
for the last couple of months.

That's my office right out there.
If you have any questions...

Unless, of course, you have
plans to hire a new secretary.

No, no.
I feel very fortunate to have you stay on.

Oh, well, then, in case...
Here is...

The key to the outside door.

Um, these are the, uh,

Presbyterian financial
reports, the sinking fund,

which is emergency money,

um,

the men's club book and, uh...
Is anything the matter?

It's very difficult for me...

Having a stranger take over
at North Avenue.

But, Miss Woods, you must understand
that I didn't ask your father to retire.

- Oh, I know.
- I only applied for the job.

Of course I know that.
It... it's just that...

This church was our...

Was his life.

Yes, there's, uh...

There's plenty
of evidence of that.

Either you or Reverend Woods
chaired most of the committees.

Someone had to do it.
Yes.

But I think active participation
by the whole membership...

Is what really makes
a strong church.

In fact, I've got a lot of plans
along those lines for this church.

I think you'll find if you
want something done here...

That it's easier
to do it yourself.

Then that way, you'll know
when it gets done.

Oh, I'm sure there are a lot of people who
would like to help, given the chance.

[ Chuckling ]
Good luck.

Oh! Pardon me, Reverend.
Delaney left his hat.

Oh, here it is.

Ah, I'm-I'm sorry.
Very sorry.
Ah, excuse me, Mrs....

Oh. Rafferty.
Mrs. Rafferty.

- I wonder if you could help me with something.
- Help? You? Me?

Oh, why, anything.
Anything I can do.
Anything.

How would you like to be
in charge of the, uh...

The church sinking fund.

In charge?
Uh... uh, Reverend Hill.

Oh, I'd like it.
In fact, I'd love it.

There you are, madam chairman.
And we thank you.

Thank you.

- Uh, Mrs. Rafferty?
- Yeah?

Start thinking about ways
of building up the fund.

Of course I will.
Sure. Why not?
Why, uh, good-bye.

It's, uh, all in the wrist.

♪ Oh, how our hearts ♪

♪ Beat high with joy ♪

♪ When e'er we hear ♪

♪ That glorious word ♪

♪ Faith of our fathers ♪

♪ Holy faith ♪

♪ We will be true ♪

♪ To thee ♪

- ♪ Till death ♪
- [ Whispering, indistinct ]

Let me have it.
Give him to me.

We don't bring Norman to church.
I'll put him in here.

♪ We will love ♪
what?

♪ Both friend and foe ♪

♪ In all our strife ♪

♪ And preach thee too ♪

♪ As love knows how ♪

♪ By kindly words ♪

♪ And glorious life ♪

♪ Faith of our fathers ♪

♪ Amen ♪

[ Footsteps running ]
Amen. Amen. Oh.

Oh! Reverend Hill,
I gotta talk to you.

Certainly, Mrs. Rafferty.
Why don't you drop by after services?

Oh, it'll be too late then.
The third goes off in ten minutes.

- The third what?
- After you put me in charge of the church's sinking fund...

♪ Amen ♪

You know, the different ways to make
money for the church? You remember.

I remember, Mrs. Rafferty, but I
can't discuss it now. Excuse me.

He bet it on a 7-1 shot he says is wired.

He what?

Delaney bet it all on Sundae Treat
to win in the third at Aqueduct.

Your husband put it all on...

[ Congregation murmuring ]

Your husband bet
the whole $1,206...

On a horse race?
[ Murmuring continues ]

How could he do such a thing?

He... well... well...
[ Stammering ]

- Where did he make the bet?
- One of the bookies downtown.

Come with me.
[ Choir ] ♪ A... ♪

Jephthah, the soldier,
was a man of mighty valor.

And we would all do very
well to follow his example.

Let us pray.

We thank thee, o lord,
for all thy bounties.

- Amen.
- Amen?

Well, you sure won't fall asleep
during one of his sermons.

Reverend, what are you gonna do?
Stop that bet.

We'll take the bike.
It's faster.
Here. Put that on.

Yes, sir.

Get on, Mrs. Rafferty.
All right, I'm getting on.

You all set?
I think so. Ah!

[ Screaming ]

What's going on?
[ All chattering ]

Where is this bookie?
I don't know which one he used.

There's more than one?
Lots. Carlucci's Bakery, the pet store on Friar...

And the orthopedic
shoe store.
Ortho...

But I'll lay you 8-1
he used Harry, The Hat.

Harry, The Hat?
Right.
[ Screaming ]

Mrs. Rafferty, hang on!

Pull in right here.

There's Harry's place.
Harry? It says Sam.
Are you sure?

I'm sure.
You better hurry.
It's almost post time.

Throw 'em
on the back of the chair.

Are you Harry?
Nope. Sam.

Sam. I knew it.

What Harry did you want?
Harry. The hat.

Uh-huh. In the back.

- Hold it. Your pants.
- What?

Pants pressed while you wait.
It's part of my deal with Harry.

- Well, all I wanna do is talk to him.
- No exceptions.

Get 'em off.

Ridiculous. I have
to take my pants off.

- Here you are.
- Ah, better pay now while you still got the 50 cents.

Yeah.
In the pants.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you didn't get a vision
or anything, did you, padre?

Which one is Harry?
Harry. Oh, that's Harry right there.

[ Clears throat ]
Uh, Harry.

Oh, don't worry, father.
All our players enjoy complete anonymity.

It's Reverend.
And I'm not concerned about anonymity.

I'm concerned about $1,206
of our church's money...

That a parishioner bet, here.

So that's where Delaney
got that kind of dough.

And you want it back, right?
Right.

Look, father,
my advice is let it ride.

Sundae Treat's
the horse to beat.

And at 7-1, you'd really hate
yourself if she comes in, right?

All I want is to get the money back.
The horses are at the post.

And they're off!

It's Sundae Treat,
our Travis, Bengal Boy,

Sony, Miss Snoop,
Bags, Rags and Ready Teddy.

It's Sundae Treat, Our Travis,
Bengal Boy moving on the outside.

Bengal Boy!
Come on, Bengal Boy!

It's Sundae Treat, Bengal Boy.
Come on, Sundae Treat!

Sundae Treat.
That's my horse.

Come on, Sundae Treat!
Come on!

And it's Sundae Treat.
Sundae Treat!

Come on, Sundae Treat!
It's Sundae Treat by a neck.

Come on, boy!
Bengal Boy!

Sundae Treat, Bengal Boy.
As they head for the finish,
Bengal Boy and Sundae Treat.

They cross the wire,
and it's Bengal Boy!

Bengal Boy!

So, maybe you can make
a comeback in the next race.

Guiding light looks good at six furlongs.

I want that money back.
And if I don't get it, I will go straight to the police.

We don't want any trouble.
I mean, it's bad for business.
You know what I mean?

Hey, Charley.
Yeah?

You remember the wad that
Delaney put on Sundae Treat?

Yeah.
Well, it turns out the dough
belongs to the bishop here.

It belongs to the north
Avenue Presbyterian Church.

And it's Reverend.

Well, see if you can work something out.
Uh, not here.

It turns out I'm giving money
back, they'll start a stampede.

You know what I mean?

We'll take care of it.
All right.

Let's step out here.

Hey, open up!

Hey! Hey, listen!

I'm gonna get every cent back...
Hey, Mac, everybody else loses their shirts in there.

But, mother Carlisle, it
was brief and to the point.

It was a disgrace.
I have never been so...
[ Motorcycle pulls up ]

How come he doesn't have
any pants on?

Well, we...
We don't know why.

We... we don't question why.

Why don't we? Are we all supposed to
pretend he has pants on when he doesn't?

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Morning. Morning.

It's hard to believe this sort of activity's
taking place right here in the center of town.

Well, this will make a believer out
of you, Captain. It's right here.

It's this way, Captain.
Just a minute, Reverend.
Are you the owner here?

Yes, sir.
Search warrant.

It's right back here.

Sam, would you mind?
Mind what?

The d...

Are you sure you're in the
right place, Reverend Hill?

I'm sure.

And if we'd come right over when I lodged the
complaint, you would've seen for yourself.

Well, this is America.
You can't just barge into a business and arrest people...

Because somebody said so.

We'd be infringing on civil rights.

I don't need a lecture on civil
rights from you, Captain.

And I know of at least three other illegal
gambling spots in this same area.

Well, give me those addresses.
I'll get the necessary warrants right away.

It's obvious we're wasting each other's time.
I have work to do.

And I'm sure you do too,
whatever it is you do.

Well, we'll look into it further.
And if we come up with anything, we'll call you.

As part of this station's
public service programming,

we invite the pastors
of New Campton's churches...

To address us on "Words To Live By."

This evening's message is brought to
us by the Reverend Michael Hill...

Of the North Avenue Presbyterian Church.

Another day is closing.

But Revelation 22 tells us
that there shall be no night,

and they need no candle,
for the lord giveth them light.

And I...

And I'm-I'm sorry.

But there won't be
much light in New Campton...

If we don't face another Revelation...

Of more immediate concern to all of us.

I... I've just moved to New Campton,

and my family and I were
delighted with what we saw.

But it was revealed to me today...

That our town is plagued,

plagued by large-scale
illegal gambling.

It was made clear to me
that this criminal element...

Works hand in glove
with your own police force.

[ Man ]
Hold it. Leave it on.
A complaint by a citizen...

Does not result
in the arrest of the guilty...

But in the humiliation of the citizens
foolish enough to register a complaint.

If this condition
is so obvious to me,

then the people of New Campton
cannot possibly be ignorant of it.

Well, it doesn't take
an expert to see...

That large-scale gambling can
steadily and systematically...

Drain a town of its resources.

The money that's gambled and lost
here does not recycle in our town.

It funnels into the hands
of criminals and crime bosses.

This money is then used to support
other forms of organized crime,

like bribing city management
and police officials.

Way to go, Rev. You tell 'em.
Tell em? He's askin' for it.

If our police and elected officials
cannot or will not rid our community...

Of these... these parasites,

then they should be
replaced by people who will.

Thank you.
And god bless you.

You have just heard "Words To Live By"...
[ Man ] Shut it off.

That's the same guy,
Mr. Roca.

Maybe I should've
given his dough back.

- It'll blow over.
- So how long do I gotta stay closed?

You can open up tomorrow.

We'll keep the preacher in line.

Thank you, Mr. Roca.

[ Growling ]

[ Ringing ]

North Avenue Presbyterian Church.
May I help you?

Who should I say is calling?

Reverend, it's another threat for you.

- Forget it.
- I'm sorry. He's not taking threats without names.

Hello.
Has the committee head meeting started yet?

- Uh, maybe later.
- These are for you.

Aren't they beautiful?
Would you excuse us, Mrs. Porter?

We're in the middle of a meeting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Put them in this vase.
They're just lovely.

All right, Anne, where were we?

It boggles the mind that you
have the unmitigated gall...

To use this church as-as-as a soapbox
for your self-serving ambitions.

Self-serving?
I merely put out the word...

That New Campton is being
systematically ripped off by gamblers.

- Rubbish.
- Our own church has lost over $1,200.

Exactly.
And how did it get lost?
[ Ringing ]

Will somebody answer that, please?
[ Cleo ] I'll get it.

Hello. North Avenue Presbyterian Church.

Who?

Uh, just a minute, please.

- Dr. Fulton.
- Who is Dr. Fulton?

The Presbyterian executive.

Excuse me, ladies.
Excuse me.
Huh?

Please?

Dr. Fulton, what a pleasure to hear from you.

I'll come right to the point, Reverend Hill.

General council feels that prayer on
television is intended to be just that.

It is not intended as a forum
for politicking or mudslinging.

I assure you, Dr. Fulton, that
was not the talk I had prepared.

It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing,

prompted by my experiences of yesterday.

Dr. Fulton, they have
a real problem in this town.

- Such matters are not your concern, Reverend Hill.
- They're not?

Now, in the future, we suggest
you concentrate your efforts...

On revitalizing North Avenue
and increasing the membership.

Well, I... I had planned to go out
this afternoon and do that very thing.

Uh, well, if you don't drive,
perhaps your son could bring you.

We'd like to see you both at church.

My son thinks you're some kind of a nut.

Oh. Well, I have some
appointments this afternoon.

It's been nice talking
to you, Mr. Younger.

I understand you were once one of our
most active members, Mrs. Gossin.

Well, my ex was kind of a Jesus freak,
but when he split, I sort of lost interest.

- I'm into yoga now.
- I think there's room for both in a person's life, don't you?

Hmm, I guess.
Got time for a drink?

Uh, no, I'm afraid
I haven't, Mrs. Gossin.

But I do hope
you can make it Sunday.

♪ ♪

[ Boy ]
Okay.
Hi, guys.

Uh, we gave at the office.

No, no, no, no.
I just want to talk to you about your music.

- Sure.
- I, uh... I kind of have an idea.

Everybody, I'd like you to
meet Strawberry Shortcake.

- [ All ] Hi.
- This is Shorty,

uh, Billy, Doodles and Sam.

These gentlemen have kindly
consented to serve the lord...

By helping us kind of,
uh, hype up the crowd.

- Hype it up?
- Yeah, give it some pizzazz,

attract some of the younger people.

Younger people?

Our hymns have lasted for centuries
without the benefit of, uh, pizzazz.

Well, the lord never asked his followers
to be long-faced and doleful.

He said, "happy are the
people whose god is the lord."

- Amen.
- I think we ought to try something new.

Well, that's fine,
Reverend Hill.

I think in that case, though, that
I should turn over the choir...

To Shorty here
and the Shortcakes.

Uh, excuse me.

[ Chattering, murmuring ]

Hey, who is it?
Get the window.
Right.

Say, who's there?

What's going on here?

What do you want?

Easy, Reverend. Easy.

I'm, uh, Marv Fogelman.
This... I got some ID here somewhere.

This is my partner here,
Tom, uh, Voorhees.

We're, uh...
We're, uh,

special investigators for
the, uh, Treasury Department.

- There it is.
- Did you guys ever hear of a phone?

Uh, thou shalt not use the telephone
too much in our business, Reverend.

People listen.
We heard about your broadcast, Reverend Hill.

We thought maybe you could give us a hand.
Doing what?

Breaking up the gambling
organization here in New Campton.

Ah, thanks, but, uh,

this thing has put me
on thin ice already.

It could cost me my job.

We don't expect you
to do nothing.

You're too hot to get near
a gambling joint now anyway.

We just want you to round up a few men you
can trust, and we'll take it from there.

What do you say?
For god and country?

Mr. Webber,
they need men like you,

men that are known in the community,
to work with the Treasury Department...

And then testify in court.

Then get a rock through
my window, or worse.

If we can close them down, then people won't
have to be afraid of things like that.

I'm sorry.
I've got customers.

Reverend, people gamble.
They always have.
They always will.

I'm not talking about a poker game on
Saturday night or a day at the races.

I'm talking about organized crime.

Have you tried Bob Purcell?

Mr. Purcell plays golf with the chief.

He doesn't want to do anything
to strain the relationship.

I wish I could help you.

But it's not your town anymore.
It's their town.

Uh...

Yeah. Mm.

Yes, I understand.
I understand, yeah.

Thanks.
Thanks anyway. Yeah.

[ Knocking at door ]
Come in.

Uh, Reverend Hill, we're
all ready to leave now.

The chairs are all folded
and locked in the storeroom.

The newsletters are all stamped
and ready for mailing.

Oh, I... I regret
to inform you...

That, uh, the... the Women's Association
Annual Bean and Salad Supper...

Will be a dollar-fifty this year...

Instead of the usual dollar.

Oh. Oh, that is bad news.

So...

Well, thank you, Claire.
You've all been a great help.

Oh, you're welcome.
Thank you.
You've all been very helpful.

You've been very gracious.
Thank you.

- Thank you. Good night.
- Bye.

Good-bye.

Claire. Claire.

Uh, what do you do
in your spare time?

[ Chuckles ]
Oh. Well, it's just one mad world.

Take tonight for instance.

I'm going to see Casablanca
for the eighth time,

and, uh, then I'm going to dine on a
peanut butter and banana sandwich,

and then I will hit the feathers.

It's like that every night, just frantic.

How would you like to spice
up your life a little?

Oh, need a secretary for the
Youth Activities Committee?

Meet me tomorrow night at 9:00.

Nine?

Oh, sure.

You know where I live?

That's too conspicuous.
Make it the Sunday School room.

The Sunday School...
Yeah, and make it the side entrance.

Side entrance.

Oh, Claire, how pretty you look.
Do you look beautiful!

Lovely.
Claire.

Ah, glad you could
make it, Claire.

- 'Course you know all the girls.
- Of course. Hi.

Hi.
[ Softly ] I'll get you for this.

Now will you explain what
we're all here for, Reverend?

You all realize that
New Campton is in trouble.

There are some men in
town that need our help.

Our help?
Why us?

Because I think you're game
and can keep your mouth shut.

Keep our mouths shut?
Let me out of here.

I'm expecting...

[ Clears throat ]
Sorry.

Excuse us.

[ Rosie ]
Who was that?
Just a minute.

What's with the broads?

I talked to over 20 men.
No takers.

They don't want to make waves.
So you got ladies instead, Reverend?

- It's either those ladies or nothing.
- You made the wrong choice.

No, I don't think so.
At least talk to them.

Me, talk?
Do they know why they're here?

I, uh, thought I'd let you handle that.
No, don't open the door.

Uh, ladies, uh, these are the
gentlemen I told you about.

Oh, how do you do?

[ Tom ]
Hello.
They work for the government.

This is Marv Fogelman and
Tom... Voorhees. Voorhees.

[ Marv ]
Uh, what he means, uh,

we're, uh, special investigators
for the, uh, Treasury Department.

We're looking for people...

To do, uh, infiltration
and undercover work...

To help us break up the
rackets here in New Campton.

And, uh, your Reverend...

Thinks that you ladies
could hack it.

[ Nervous chuckling ]

Have any of you ladies, uh,

ever made a bet with a bookie?

- Ever played the numbers?
- No. No, bingo. We all play bingo Friday nights.

Fridays.

Bingo, huh?

Okay, um, let's start from square one.
You see,

uh, you would be, uh,
expected to, uh, go...

Into established gambling
joints, see, and make bets.

Now, if we could get two witnesses...

Or if a federal officer is
present when you make the bet,

we could usually make it stick.

Yeah. We want to build airtight
cases against as many as we can.

Then we lower the boom, see.

If we close down enough of
them, their bank dries up.

Then you get your town back.

You mean to say they
even have a bank?

Well, they call it "the bank" or "the office."

It's where all the money
and the bank slips go.

The big man in this county is Max Roca.

Well, anyhow, that's
the bones of it. Uh...

Yeah. Well, ladies,

what do you think?

I'm in.

They got their hooks
into my brother-in-law.

He can't quit, and he can't get even.
You bet I'm in.

- If it keeps me from cleaning the oven, I'm game.
- I'm free on Mondays.

I could change my exercise class to
Wednesday and take macrame on Thursday.

I'd like to do my part
for the government.

However, do you have
provisions for baby-sitting?

Baby-sitting?
Lady, this is...

This is Tom's department.

Tom will answer all your questions.
Aw, Marv.

Anything you want...
[ Ladies chattering ]

I'm delighted to meet you.
What about guns?

No. No guns.

I'd rather you
didn't tell anybody.

Think about it.

Who would suspect a bunch
of ding-a-ling dames?

[ Wolf whistles, horn honking ]

After all, it's your home, Howard.

We can put a cot in your room.

It's foolish to be buying a house when
you don't know if it's going to work out.

It'll work out
just fine, mother.

Jane... Jane's a wonderful girl.

Then what's she doing going... in there?

How's tricks?
Huh?

How's tricks?

Oh. Fine.
[ Chuckling ]

Um, I'll have a Margarita.

One Margarita coming up.

Uh, bartender, uh, put that on my tab.

Well, thank you.

My pleasure.
Aren't you sweet?

How am I doing?

You live in, uh, New Campton?
Oh, all my life.

You from out of town?
Minneapolis.

We put out a line of gaskets
for diesel engines.

Isn't that exciting?

Let's not overdo it.
Oh.

Um, today's my birthday.

I'm 28 years old.
Congratulations.

- Thank you.
- Here you are. One Margarita.

Thank you very much.

Oh, um, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.

I, uh, want to buy a number.

I want to put, uh,
ten bucks on number 281.

That's one to grow on.

Ten bucks on 28...
Jane!

- Howard!
- What are you doing in here?

Uh, I was, uh...
[ Clears throat ] Having a little refreshment.

Oh, is that what
they call it these days?

Ask her who the man is, Howard.
Who is...

- Howard, I'll call you later.
- Ask her who the man is, Howard.

- Who is...
- Howard, I'll call you later.

- Who is that man?
- It's just a guy.

He bought me a drink.
Is that a crime?

I told you she wasn't right
for you in the first place.

Yes, mother. Maybe... maybe
we should think it over, Jane.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'll call the church and talk to Reverend...

No!
Oh, Howard.
Oh, why...

I'm so sorry.
Oh, Howard, my baby.
Take your hands off him.

Howie!
I'm so sorry.

Why did you do that?
You brute!

Howard, Howard, I can
explain everything.

I'll explain it all.
I can explain it, Howard.
And she hit me.

What do you mean you can explain?
You know what kind of a person you are?

[ Both arguing ]

[ Claire ]
I've always wanted to do something like this.

Something that would be
interesting, challenging...

And at the same time, a public service.

You know what I mean, Tom?

Yes, ma'am.
There's Bootsie's place.

Ooh, that's, uh...

This is it.
That's right.

Wait a minute.
What do I say? What do I say?
What is it? Tell me again.

When the guy comes up, you just say,
"I want tickets on these numbers."

I want tickets on these numbers.
It doesn't matter what the combinations are...

But no more than three
numbers in any one group.

When I come in, I say I want tickets on
these combinations... I want a ticket.

Of groups of...
Why don't you just read it
off the list I gave you?

Oh, the list. The list.

Can I help you?
I have a special on "chrysanthenums."

I want to bet a hundred groups
on these tickets of three.

- What?
- Ah, oh...

Oh... uh... ah...

It's all right.
I got it.
Ah, I want...

I want to bet a hundred tickets
on this three group combination.

My... my wife's
a little nervous,

because if she wins, we're
going on our second honeymoon.

Oh, yeah. We're...

A hundred dollars on these numbers.
Here. A hundred dollars. Wait.

[ Claire ]
Here. I'll get your copy.

How did I do?

I've, uh, never
seen anything to top it.

Oh. Uh, if you lose, does the Treasury
Department give you back your money?

I thought so.
Here's your order, lady.
Oh...

And next time take your
business someplace else.

Did you have to wear that?
We look like the Bobsey Twins.

Or triplets.

[ Groans ]

- Did you make the bet yet?
- Shh.

You got it.

I got a tape recorder.

Is it on?
No.

Why don't you put it on
so that it'll be running...

When we make the bet.
Good idea.

- [ Recorder rewinding ]
- Not that way. That's reverse.

What'll it be?

Uh, coffee.
Coffee.
Figures.

And a fiver on 268.

My horoscope says that even numbers are
going to be very lucky for me today.

Fin. 268.

- Did you get it?
- I think so.
- You better make sure.

[ Click, music starts ]

♪ ♪
- Shh.

♪ Oh, roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We'll have a barrel of fun ♪

Yippee!

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We've got the blues on the run ♪

- ♪ Sing boom ta rar ra ♪
- get outta here!

♪ Ring out a song of good cheer ♪

♪ Now's the time to roll the barrel ♪

♪ For the gang's all here ♪

♪ Ba da da da ba da da da ♪

Delaney told me it was a blank tape.

Mrs. Rafferty, we're fortunate we're not dead.

After all, we don't even look
like the Andrews sisters.

Ladies!

Ladies!

Look, there is no point in rehashing it.

We blew it, all the way down the line.

It is over, done with.
It was a crazy idea.

Not your fault.
I accept full responsibility.

Yeah, well, I'm sure we'll
handle it better next time.

We will. We'll handle
it better next time.

Next time?
What next time?

The way they fixed it, Serpico
couldn't get in one of those joints.

Well, what about in a couple of
weeks when things cool down?

Couple of weeks. They won't even
know us in a couple of weeks.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Hey, just because we made a couple
of goofs, you're not gonna bench us.

We're not out of the ball game yet.
I agree.

Frankly, I'd like to stick it to 'em good.

What did you have in mind, Tiger?
Well, I don't know.

I have an idea.

Uh, why don't we go after that
bank you told us about? Yes?

You said if they dried up the
bank, they'd go out of town.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now, look, you're a gung ho bunch of dames.
I like that.

But it takes professionals years
to find a bank, if they're lucky.

There is no way that five inexperienced ladies...
Oh!

Capable as you are...
Are gonna find their bank.

Why not?
Who'd ever suspect us of following them?

Following them?

Lady, when those pickup men
are carrying slips and money,

they're checking for tails all the way.

I mean, you would need
your expert drivers,

you would need your code names,

you would need your radio-equipped
cars for switch-offs.

We got the drivers.
We got the cars.

First of all, my department would
never spring for it. So forget it.

I will spring for the radios, if
you all would like to use them.

Claire, that's terrific.

So?
Yeah.
How about it?

- Marv, give us a chance.
- Why not?

I don't know.
It's like chicken soup.

It won't do any good,
but it couldn't hurt.

[ Women screaming excitedly ]

I guess!

[ Radio whining ]

This is Home Plate calling all units.

[ Women talking at once ]

Hold it! Hold it!

I told youse, you can
only talk one at a time.

Uh, Phantom Fox.

Uh, Max and I are watching Freddie, uh,
Two Fingers Snooker Parlor, and, uh,

I expect to be murdered any minute.

If that should happen, would
somebody please contact Alfredo?

He does my hair.

Ten-four.
[ Delaney ] Five dames ain't ever gonna find no bank.

We'll be lucky if they
don't get us all killed.

If you want me honest opinion,
it's a wild-duck chase.

Who... who...
Who is that?

It sounds like Delaney Rafferty.
Blarney Stone,

the whole idea is that they'd be less
suspicious with women following them.

I know. I know.
But I can't drive, Reverend.

[ Chuckling ]
And you'll never recognize Delaney.

Don't use my name, I told ya.

If it got out what I was doing,

I'd be spending the night in the river,
that's what. Them guys play for keeps.

[ Man on radio ]
Today's cooking corner recipe
is a fantasy all of us know.

It's called Fairy Queen Pudding. Mmm.

First you prepare four egg whites.

[ Man continuing ]

[ Jane ]
June Bride.

There's a man leaving
Big Chin's with a paper bag.

This could be the pickup man.
Describe the suspect, please.

Brown pants and a blue jacket...

With red and white stripes
down the sleeves.

I think it's a polyester.

June Bride, what is he doing now?

I don't know.
He's gone. He drove off.

Follow him!
All right.
Don't shout.

Of all the dumb, stupid broads!
My acid is flowing.

June Bride, uh, could you describe the car?

Yes. It was olive green.

No, maybe it was more avocado.

Well, it was lighter than a forest green
but not as bright as kelly green.

I think we better stick with avocado.

Try to locate the car, and hurry!
Please.

[ Marv ]
Please.

I see him.
He's driving a Plymouth.

He's on Lexington.
Okay, okay. Beautiful.
That's good.

- Which way on Lexington?
- Towards that new boutique.

She's trying to kill me.
I think she means east.

I'm getting stopped by a red light.
Am I allowed to run it?

- No, no. Stop.
- Marv, kiddie car could probably pick him up.

Kiddie car, come in.
Please!

[ Mrs. Simms ]
Oh. Um... um, hello.

Uh, excuse me.

All right, all right, Toby, give
Betty back her creepy crawlers.

Toby, they're her creepy crawlers.

Hold the line.

Toby, you have your ray gun.
You don't need her creepy crawlers.

Marvin, will you tell Toby to give
Betty back her creepy crawlers.

I will, if you'll go to Lexington and
look for a green Plymouth, and hurry.

I can't. I'm not
anywhere near there.

You're supposed to be.

I was, but I forgot today was
my day to pick up the cobras.

- Pick up what?
- The cobras.

They're six and two on the season.

If they take the Tigers, they're
a cinch for the play-offs.

How long will it take you to get
to Lexington and High Street?

We can leave...

Just as soon as the shortstop
gets out of the boys room.

Tell them all to go home.
Forget it. It's all over.

Listen, Marv, if he stays east on
Lexington, Clunker could pick him up.

Clunker?

Have we had that one yet?
Not yet.

- Clunker, are you there?
- Ready to go.

Good.

- Could you go to Lexington and look for a green Plymouth?
- On my way.

She's going.

[ Engine not starting ]

Come on, you rare beauty.

Clunker, the driver is wearing a blue
jacket with red and white stripes.

Gotcha.
Come on, baby.

We gotta take a hike.

Gotta help auntie Cleo.
That's a precious lamb.

Yes, indeed.
Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.

[ Baby crying ]
Yes, yes, yes.
Here you are. Here you are.

This your car?
No, sir. It belongs to Classic Used Cars.

My husband works there.
I see. Uh, didn't you see the sign?

Oh, boy.
May I see your operator's license, please?

Here you are, sir.
Thank you.

Watch it, lady.
Watch it. Watch it.

I got him.
Good.

He's not on Lexington.
He's on king street.

I'm right beside him.
Does he still have the bag, Clunker?

Clunker, does he still
have the bag? Answer.

Clunker, answer.

I can't see.

- Go to sleep for Mama. Nice baby.
- What's with "go to sleep"?

Can you at least get
the license number?

- Hey, you, lady!
- Clunker, what are you doing?

Will you give us
the license number?

Now, you listen to me.
You keep quiet till I tell you, you hear?

Or you'll wish you had.
That's no way to talk to that infant.

Butt out, lady.
[ Gasps ]

[ Officer ]
Hey! Hey!

Hey, lady, I could cite
you for evading arrest.

And if that piece of junk
isn't moved in five minutes,

I'm gonna have it
towed away and impounded.

You got yourself a deal.

I lost him for a moment,
Home Plate, but I got him now.

He's coming out of a market, and
he's driving north on Crown Street.

- Good. Stay with him.
- Can't do it, Home Plate.

I'm out of gas.

- What?
- Give it to Phantom Fox.

[ Marv ]
Phantom Fox, he's coming your way. Move out.

With pleasure.
[ Engine starts, horn honks ]

Got him, Home Plate.
He stopped at the park.

He's heading toward a man on a picnic table.

He's sitting
at the picnic table.

Watch him, Phantom Fox.
Every move.

He has a bag. He's reaching
inside the bag.

He's taking out a... sandwich.

He threw the bag away
in the... in the garbage.

[ Man over P.A. ]
Mr. Martin, please.

Check okay
on register number six.

Hi, Mom!
Hi! Hi!

Hi.
Why are you buying so much Cheerios?

I'm not.
What do you know about shopping?

Go... go find
your little sister.

Can we get some ice cream?

Ah, yes. Don't bother Mommy now.
[ Both ] Thanks, Mom!

Excuse me.

He's still at the magazine stand.

Just be patient.
This is where we blew it yesterday.

He keeps checking his watch
and looking out the window.

The other guy must be late.
Keep watching him!

There's another man who
came in with a paper bag.

This could be a pass.
Everybody stay awake.

They did it. They did it.
They switched bags.
They're leaving.

Okay.
Follow him.

- Follow him? Which one?
- The one with the bag!

- They both have bags.
- The newer one with the old bag.

Oh, uh, yes.
He's on his way out the door,

and he has a plaid shirt on.

[ Jane ]
I see him!

Subject is a male Caucasian
about, I don't know, 5'8,

Sandy hair and a little paunchy.

He's getting into a little white car.

All units, plan "A."
Look for a little, uh, white car.

[ Starts engine ]

He's turning right on Danny.
Danny Avenue.

Stay with him.
Stay with him.

- He's speeding up, Home Plate.
- You're burned. You're burned. Peel off!

Peel off!
Peel off!

Who's got him?
Who's got him?

Not I, Home Plate.
I peeled off as instructed.

Not me.
I peeled off.

[ Rosie ] We did like you told us.
[ Cleo ] Me too!

I just peeled off.
They all peeled off?

I got him!
I got him!

Break for Phantom Fox.
Suspect in view.

Rear view.
[ Marv ] Phantom Fox, where are you located?

I'm on... I'm on 4th street.
He's right behind me.

All right, now.
Now, listen.

Listen, slow down, let him
pass you and stay with him.

He's turn... He turned down
the alley, down on Jefferson.

That's all right.
Turn around and go back.

She can't turn, Marv.
That's a one-way street.

Phantom Fox, we'll give you instructions.
You can't turn.

I can't back up either.
Well, I'll try.

[ Tires screeching ]

[ Horns honking ]

There he is, down the alley.
I'll double back.

[ Marv ]
All right, that's good, but do not get too close.

Repeat:
Do not get too close.

I'm terribly sorry.
Are you all right?

Look what you did.
Are you crazy, lady?

[ Marv ]
Phantom Fox, what's happening?

[ Mike ]
Here, let me have that thing.

Phantom Fox, if you've lost him,
return to North Avenue for further...

Don't say North Avenue on the thing!
They'll hear you!

[ Siren wailing ]

I never could stand that show.

The doctor said complete rest
and quiet for a few days,

but you can talk to him.

Hi, Marv.
How are you feeling?
Wonderful.

Marv, the girls and I
were talking.

[ Gurgling sounds ]
And, uh, well,

they'd like to take
another shot at it.

Reverend, we shot at it...
Three times.

Each time, it was a fiasco.
[ Gurgling continues ]

My stomach isn't up to it.

Claire said she'd get a radio
for my office at the church.

It's her money.
Get two.

Then I'll tell them it's okay to continue?

Tell them anything you want,

as long as I don't have
to hear it or be there.

[ Sighs ]

Thanks, Marv.
Hope you feel better.

I'll be in touch.
Don't bother.

[ Mrs. Simms over radio ]
Mike, he's doing just as you said, Home Plate.

He's coming back on Raymond.

He's stopping.
He's making a pass...

To a white cable TV van.

[ Barking ]
[ Mike over radio ]
He could be the collector.

Let the car go.
Stay with the van.

He's leaving,
and I'm right behind him.

Now, this can't take
very long, Home Plate.

It's karate day,
the girls are having a recital,

I'm having a tupperware party
in a half hour.

He's turning left...
Left on victory.

Bruno, out of the...
What'll I do? Bruno! Bruno!

[ Mike ]
Let him go.
Blarney Stone, you're near.

That's us!
Get going!

It'll take at least ten minutes from here.
Oh, no, it won't.

If ya can't drive, don't
be touchin' the wheel!

We're takin' a little shortcut.

[ Mike ]
Blarney Stone, where is he?
Do you copy?

Blarney Stone,
have you spotted him?

[ Knocking ]

- Where are you?
- Don't ask!

[ Horn blaring ]
[ Man ] Get off the track!

Don't yell at me!
Who do you think you are?

[ Yelling continues ]

All units, we lost him.
Come on in. Home Plate out.
What is this?

What are you doing?
Are you a minister or Batman?

Look at this.
You've turned this into a war room.
Anne...

Sit down. Sit down.
I've got something to tell you.
I didn't mind about the...

Please, sit down.

The Treasury Department
asked me to help them.

The Treasury Department?

They came to me.
They need us.
Why?

Chasing criminals has nothing
to do with you or North Avenue.

The police are paid to do that.

Oh, the police.
In this town?
Yes.

Anne, you said it yourself.
Somebody has to do it.

If the church is not
a moral force in the community,

then it's just another building with
stained glass windows and a steeple.

But you are meddling in something
dangerous with all this.

I think the only thing you're
gonna accomplish in the end...

Is-is harm to the church.

Yes, but they're actually
making headway.

Those women, in their own crazy
way, are giving the mob fits.

If we can just hang in there, we can
put a crimp in their operation,

maybe stop it altogether.

We get closer every day.
Today, I think we found the collector.

You're all risking your lives...

Well, that-that's it.

I'll have no part of any of that.
I resign as your secretary.

And I'm going to go to the executive
committee and tell them why.

- Anne.
- What?

I do understand how you feel,

but I don't know
what else to do.

Give it up.

♪ ♪

♪ We'll spread the sound of Sunday music ♪

♪ The world will rise up singing soon ♪

♪ On Sunday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Monday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Tuesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ There's never been a sweeter sound ♪

♪ Wednesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Thursday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Friday, Saturday Sunday night ♪

♪ We'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Sing out some Sunday morning music ♪

♪ Sing out a Sunday song ♪

♪ A wave of Sunday morning music ♪

♪ Building up and growing strong ♪

♪ On Sunday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Monday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Tuesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ There's never been a sweeter sound ♪

♪ Wednesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Thursday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Friday, Saturday Sunday night ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

Sunday morning music.
[ Woman ] Mm-hmm.

For happy are the people...

Whose god is the lord.
Amen!

What are they trying to do?
Find the bank, close us down.

Do they all work for Hill?
One of 'em we know goes to his church.

[ Sighs ]
Hill isn't an ordinary guy off the streets.

We hit him,
the papers get in on it,

the cops have to do a number.

Well, they're slowin' up
the work, sir,

and things are gonna get worse
if we don't do somethin'.

Okay. Lean on 'em.

I'm awake.

Yeah?

Hey.

What's all that about?

Did Miss Woods mean what she said?

Well, she strikes me as
the kind of person that does.

I mean...

Are you really gonna
lose your job?

Oh.

Well, I certainly hope not.

Dad, why don't you give it up?
It's not your business.

Sayeth Carmel.

Why can't you just be
a minister and a daddy?

Oh, honey, that's...

That's what I'm trying to be.

Help!
Oh, help, somebody!

Call the fire department!

Help!

Carmel, call the fire department!

Are you all right?
Yes! Call the fire department!

Hank, come here!
Help me with the fire hose!

Turn it on!

Hey, you,
would you help here a minute?

The rest of you, get back!

[ Sirens wailing ]

[ Woman over radio, indistinct ]

I had no idea...

They'd do this.

I'm sorry, Anne.

It would help if you'd say something.

Anything.

I, uh...

I was so wrong.

So wrong.

Mike, um...

I...

Wanna fight them with you.

[ Mike over radio ]
Rookie?

Rookie, what's happening?

Lost him, Home Plate.
Sorry, Mike.

[ Kids chattering ]

Yuck!
Whose chili dog is this?

I got him, I got him.
I'm right behind him.

[ Mike ]
Good, Phantom Fox.
Stay with him, stay with him.

You dummy!
What do you think you're...
[ Honking ]

Watch out!

[ Mike ]
Phantom Fox, what's going on?

I got cut off at the pass.

[ Rosie ]
Get closer!
Watch out for that car!

[ Delaney ]
Take your hands off the wheel!

There's a lady!
Look out!
[ Screaming ]

Look what you did!

[ Jane ]
I'm trying to stay with him, Home Plate,

but he's really moving!

[ Mike ]
Be careful, June Bride. Be careful.

Are you all right, June Bride?

Yes, but I don't know what
Howard's gonna say about his car.

We're turning on klump street,
and I'm on his tail.

[ Mike ]
Good going, Rookie. Hang in there.

Yahoo!
Not this time.

[ Honking ]

[ Mike ]
Where could he have gone to?

I don't know, but I'm having
trouble with my radio again.

I'm coming in.

When we don't pay the winners
off on time, they get nervous.

They think something's wrong.
Business falls off. We don't want that.

They got stakeouts
on every road.

I lose one, I look back,
there's another one comin'.

They ain't as easy to shake
as they used to be.

A bunch of church ladies?
I'm not gonna let a preacher...

And some ding-a-ling dames
ruin our business.

They get too close to this place, hit 'em.

Yes, sir.

Every time the collector has shaken us,

it's been in here.

Then the bank must be in there.

Probably, but it's still a very big area.

It sure is.
Well, he just plain outdrives us.

[ Voices overlapping ]

Not necessarily.
I don't know what he fuels that crate with.

Now, he's obviously got something
bigger than a stock engine under there.

You can say that again.
That's right.

"Dear Reverend Hill, the general council...

Has voted not to rebuild North Avenue.

North Avenue has served its
purpose and will be dissolved."

Well...
Dissolved.

Well, we'll appeal that.
I'll-I'll call the Presbytery myself.

[ Sniffles ]

"Further, it is the intention
of the general council...

To declare the pulpit
of North Avenue vacant.

Dr. Rheems and Reverend
Wainwright will be joining me...

For the disposition
of the real estate.

Sincerely yours,
Victor A. Fulton, Presbytery executive."

Oh, Mike, I'm so sorry.

What exactly does that mean,
"declare the pulpit vacant"?

It means he's fired.

It means I've-I've...

Cost you your church.

♪ ♪
[ Soft rock on radio ]

We certainly have lovely
weather for you folks.

Unfortunately, we're not here
to enjoy the weather.

Has Dr. Fulton arrived?

Oh, yes.
He's with Reverend Hill right now.

[ Static on radio ]
There's certainly a lot of static on your radio.

Yeah.

[ Gasping ]
Oh!

[ Switching channels ]
Mike?

Mike, answer!
Answer!

Glen Park Church is over
five miles from here, and...
[ Radio beeping ]

What's that beeping noise?

Oh... oh, that's a radio
I use for emergencies.

And, you know, transportation will be a
real problem for some of our older members.

Hadn't you better answer that?
I-I... oh, sure.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Clears throat ]
Reverend Hill speaking.

Mike, hi. I think
I found the missing link.

I'm tailing a camper south on Airport.

Uh, could we discuss this at a more
propitious time? I'm in conference just now.

No, this won't wait!

I'm positive this is the collection
van disguised as a camper,

because the motor is giving over
the same static over the radio.

Can't you hear it?
[ Mike ] That's hardly conclusive.

I recognize the driver.
It's the same guy.

Aren't you supposed to be
picking up some people?

Oh. Uh, yeah,
they're here.

Mike, look, uh,

if it's old sourpuss Fulton
that you're worried about,

well, he wouldn't know a good minister...

If god put his arm around him
and said, "that's my boy."

Know what I mean?
[ Sighs ]

This is it.
Please send us some help.

Excuse me, Dr. Fulton,
but this is really important.

Okay, Rookie.
I'll send the Shortcakes over and get Jane.

And then I'll call Cleo, and I'll send
you all the help I can get, all right?

Good luck, and keep me posted.

Yippee!

Carmel, Dean, do you have any
idea where Mrs. Simms is?

- There's a pet show at the park.
- Find her and tell her to long-distance Rookie.

[ Together ]
Okay. And hurry, kids, please.

Are you ready now?
All right, everybody.

Oh, uh, move in just a little bit.
Oh, yes, that's beautiful.

Now, everybody get around the wedding cake.
I want one of the wedding cake.

Move in, move in.
Oh, everything all right, dear?

♪ ♪
[ Rock on stereo ]

Oh, hello there.
Who are you?

Friends of the bride.
Nice to meet you.
Right.

Oh, no, no, no.
Wait a minute. You can't.
This is a...

This is a respectable wedding.
Uh, no gypsies here.

Sorry, Howard, I gotta run.
I'll call ya.
What?

Jane? Excuse me.

Jane?

Jane, look.
I don't know what you've been up to lately...

And I don't want to, but you're
not running out on me now.

Then pile in and fasten your safety belt.
I'm driving. Okay.

[ Starts engine ]

Well, that figures.
[ Tires screeching ]

Howard, what about the rice?

I haven't the vaguest idea
what's happening, Miss Woods,

but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Oh, good. Well, uh, watch out for police.

Okay. Reverend, check for
smokies in plain brown wrappers.

- What?
- I'm KAHX-1235, the Ecumenical Enchantress.

[ Laughing ]
Well, you've just been drafted.

All right, all you good buddies.

This channel is 10-33.
Keep it clear.

There she is!
Mrs. Simms!
Mrs. Simms!

Mrs. Simms!
Mrs. Simms!

Dad says to long-distance Rookie, and to hurry!
This could bust the bank!

All right.
I'm sorry, children.
The pet show will have to wait.

I wanna go to the pet show!
You mean I washed my turtle for nothing?

[ Mrs. Simms ] Get in back here.
[ Voices overlapping ]

Oh, no!
My snakes fell out!
[ Horns honking ]

[ Girl ]
We better pick him up, Mrs. Simms!

[ Mrs. Simms ]
I'm awfully sorry, folks.
Things have gone amuck.

[ All shouting ]

No, you're...
You're going the wrong way.

[ Honking continues ]
Uh, this-this way.

This way.
Aah!

What's happening here?

Come on, hurry!
Now look what you did with all your hurryin'!

You got a run in me stockin'!

Well, it's the last time you'll
have to wear them, I hope.

It looks like I slid
into second.

Oh, will you shut up and get in and drive the car!
Get yourself in!

Rookie to Home Plate.
Suspect heading south, both feet on the floor.

- How am I hittin' ya?
- That sounds like Dr. Rheems. Dr. Rheems?

You got it.

[ Fulton ]
What are you doing getting
mixed up in a thing like this?

I want you and Reverend Wainwright
to get out of that car immediately.

[ Dr. Rheems ]
Sorry, doctor. Don't read you.

The Ecumenical Enchantress,
10-8 and on the side.

[ Honks horn ]

[ Siren wailing ]
[ Mrs. Simms ] Nobody panic.

Oh, there's Bruno.
Get him, Danny!
Get him, Danny!

Bruno! Bruno! Bruno!
That's a good bowser.

Get off my car!
Get off of there!

Oh, the snake.
Did anybody get the snake?

[ Honking continues ]

He's still at the beer joint, Home Plate, like...
Like he has nowhere to go.

[ Mike ]
He could be cooling the work.
Hang back, Rookie.

Let us know when he moves.
Okay.

[ Barking ]
Easy.

Easy, Mrs. Porter.
Thanks, Alfredo.
Give me the keys.

Where are the keys?
Open the door.
Easy.

All right, Maximilian, inside.
Okay, give me the keys.

Okay, bye, Pam.
See you later.
Be careful.

Watch your nails.
I'll come back for my things later.

[ Starts engine ]

Heavens! Oh.

Watch-watch your back.

[ Horns honking ]
Easy.

Okay.
I think we're all set.

Everybody's in.
Hello.

You better pull it over to the curb, lady.
This is gonna take a while.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
I-I can't right now.

I'm terribly sorry.
I'm awfully busy.

You're busy?
Pull this car over there!

Hang on, children.
Hey!

Hey!
What are you doing?

Where are you going?
Come back here!

I really appreciate this, and-and
you two have been just wonderful.

But, you know, maybe you
should get out while you can.

This could get a little rough
before it's over.

You do what you want,
Reverend Wainwright.

But personally, I haven't
has this much excitement...

Since I got snowed in
at the elks convention.

[ Gasps ]
There he goes!

He's making his move, Home Plate!
We're on our way.

Keep your distance, Rookie.
Let us know his area and direction.

Lost him, Home Plate.

[ Mike ]
He may have taken
Brunswick Road. Try it anyway.

Hold it!
Hold it!

Look! That gate is closing, and there's
dust settling on the road over there.

[ Dr. Rheems ]
I'll bet he drove up to that warehouse.

Yahoo! We found it.
This has gotta be it, Home Plate.

All right, here we go.

Everybody gets some money.

How did it go?
Milk run.

Rookie to Home Plate,
Rookie to Home Plate.

It's an old warehouse on Hudson,
just west of Davenport.

And old hawkshaw Wainwright
here nailed it.

Um, we don't see anything right now,

but the camper must've
gone inside the building.

Mike, I'm positive this is their bank.

You're in charge.
Reverend Hill!

Where are you going?
Reverend Hill!

[ Chattering, indistinct ]

Jane! Jane!
All right, Howard, I'm coming! I'm coming!

[ Chattering continues ]

Shh!
Shh!

Shh!
Shh!

Shh!
Shh!

[ Anne ]
Hey, look. Someone's coming out.

Rookie to Home Plate.
The door's opening,

and there's a tall, grey-haired man...

Getting in the limousine,
and they're leaving.

Come on, everybody.
Into your cars. Quick!

[ Chattering, shouting ]

Jane? Oh.
Jane?

Look, I-I don't want
my car mixed up in this.

I-I just got it repaired, and it's perfect again.
Howard.

Howard, this car is now
community property,

so get in or get out of the way.

Yes, mother.
Jane!

What's that?

It's those dames!
Back up! Use the other gate!
Come on!

All right, everybody!
Grab the stuff! Out!
Let's go!

Move, move!

[ Roca ]
Step on it, Eddie.
Step on it!

He's not gonna stop!
Stop!

Look out!

Oh, look!
There's more coming out!

[ Anne ]
They're getting away!
All units, all units, stop them.

Somebody do something!

Stand back.
Heavy Duty comin' through.

- Good going, Clunker!
- You name it, I claim it.

Jane, stop!
You'll hurt my car!

Howard, will you get in!

June Bride, June Bride, coming at you now.
Head him off.

- We'll get him, Rookie.
- [ Howard ] Jane!

Will you stop worrying about this car?
Jane, I can't!

Well, then don't look.

[ Horns honking ]

[ Both screaming ]

Kiddie car, watch it.
There's one on your tail.

[ Groans ]
[ Growling ]

[ Barking ]
Bruno, what are you doing here?

We winged one!
We winged one!

Phantom Fox, six o'clock.
Oh!
He's got a gun!

Hold your course, Phantom Fox.
I'm coming in.

Oh! Well done!

- He's backing up!
- Someone stop that camper!
- Back up! Back up!

He ain't goin' nowhere.

[ Anne ]
Stop him! Stop him!

I will.

Oh, no, you won't.
Howard!

- Howard!
- Oh, Howard!

I made it.
No, look, the car's all right.
Will you let me drive?

Oh!

Watch it, will ya?

Phantom Fox, Phantom Fox,
kiddie car in trouble.

I'm going in.

Look out!

Way to go, Claire.
That's neat!

Look out, Vickie!

- You all right, kiddie car?
- Splendid.

I'm back, children.
I told you I wouldn't be long.

[ Groaning ]

Smack her!
Give it to her!

[ Sobbing ]

Now it's my turn.
We'll see how you like it.

Look at that!

- [ Stammering ]
- She's nuts! Get away from her!

Look, he's getting away!
Faster!

[ Both screaming ]

I can't see nothin'!

Where are we?
What did you do?

Look out, Phantom Fox!

We did it!

Fantastic!

I knew we could do it!

[ Groans ]

That's the way to go!

Look, look, lookit!
They're all trapped!
We got 'em!

Anne, are you all right?
Mike!

Mike, we did it! We did it!
And the bank is up there.

We got everything.
Fantastic!

Hey!

Oh, look! There's Roca!
He's getting away in that convertible!

Hang on to your socks, Howard.
We're going in.

Jane, you can't do this.
This is my car.
Yes I can, Howard.

I won't let you do it.
Hush, Howard.

[ Arguing continues ]

Oh! Mike, be careful!

Get out of the car!
Stop the car!

Get him, Rev!
Get him!

Hold it, hold it, hold it,
Mr. Roca.

Wait just a minute.
Give me my briefcase!

Oh, I will in a minute.

- Mike!
- Anne!

Hold it, you!

If you'd broken all of my nails,
I'd really be mad!

I need a safety pin.
I got mine.

One false move
and you got a new nose!

Keep his hands up there.

You have a right to remain silent, sucker!
[ Groans ]

Anne, we hit the jackpot.
We've got the names,

we've got the numbers, we've got
the slips, we got the money.

Twelve hundred dollars
for the church sinking fund.

We did it. We did it.
We did it.

Oh!
It's a miracle.

- I know.
- This car in unscathed.

- Huh?
- I am going to give you a nice, warm bath.

And then,
I'm going to Polish you.

It's a thing of beauty,

a joy forever.

It's gonna stay...
Oh, no, no!

Don't hit my baby! No!
Howard, get out of here!

No!

[ Horn honking ]

Oh, no.

And...

The arrests have resulted in
at least 12 indictments so far.

Also... also, I have it
on the best authority...

That we can expect some new
faces down at city hall.

Uh, and I...

I don't see them among us this morning,

but I'd like to take this opportunity...

To express our deepest appreciation...

To the six ladies
that made all this happen.

- Seven.
- Seven.

Well, that's the, um,

the good news.

The, uh...
The bad news...

Is that this will be the last service...

Held at
North Avenue Presbyterian.

[ Murmuring ]

In the future, Glen Park Church...
[ Horn honking ]

Will serve this community.

[ Voices overlapping ]

Well, I, uh...

I'm not gonna ask how or why,

because we all know...

He works in strange
and mysterious ways.

But by the grace of god,

the general council of the Presbytery...

And six ladies,

who also work in strange
and mysterious ways,

North Avenue is going
to retain its charter.

- Right on!
- Yea!

We're going to be in business
here for a long time.

♪ Sunday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Monday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Tuesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ There's never been a sweeter sound ♪

♪ Wednesday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Thursday ♪
♪ Pass a little love around ♪

♪ Friday, Saturday Sunday night ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪

♪ And we'll be heaven bound ♪