All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E10 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

Christopher: hey, lor, I think
I have good news.

It was just a weird coincidence
That I walk in,

And christopher happens
To be leaving a message.

I'm not gonna like it
When christopher calls,

But we have to tell
Each other everything.

Agreed.

I'm gonna take hair samples
From three men,

Run dna tests on them,

And figure out
Which one's my father.

I'm sorry. Did you say
"Your father"?

It's you.
And you're sure.

Absolutely.
Want to see my report?

Logan, I love you.
Wow.

You're getting to me.

Me?
Yes, you're an ass.

I didn't tell you to quit yale!
You did that!

Why don't you go off with jack,
Whatever his name is?

Oh, I'm not going off
With jess.

I got a job.
What? Where?

At the stamford gazette.
Yes.

And I'm going back to yale.
I called and talked to my dean.

Tell lane you're moving out and
Get your butt here right now.

I love you, mom.

Hey.

Rory: what?

Make an occasional noise, so
I know you didn't pull an elvis.

I'm just putting the finishing
Touches on the face.

Pbht!
You're an infant.

Hit yourself with a giant
Powder puff and get out here.

I love this bathroom.

Uh, too much.
I need the sink.

You need my sink?
What about the other sink?

Oh, I forgot
I had two sinks.

Well, you do.

Look at this.
Two sinks -- I'm so decadent.

I could brush my teeth over
This one, spit into that one.

This is now my official favorite
Room in the whole world,

Besides the reading room
At the british museum.

But add a dome ceiling
And 10 million books,

And you got yourself
A horse race.

Paul anka loves
This room, too.

You ever hear
That tape of him

Chewing out his band
After a show?

"When I move,
I slice like a hammer!

The guys get shirts!"

That's the human
Paul anka.

I don't believe
The canine version exists.

He is laying low
Until he figures out

You're not gonna eat
His pigs' ears or something.

The chicken's got to show
His face so I can prove myself.

What all do you have
Going on today?

Oh, she's already got
A list going.

Follow-up calls to make sure
I'm all set for spring semester.

Four hours
Of community service --

I'm gonna try
To stretch it to five

Because I am tantalizingly
Close to being done.

My engine light was on,
But I already took care of that.

This morning?
Got to gypsy's shop
Before it opened.

There was only one other
Early bird ahead of me,

But I bribed gypsy with a pack
Of rolos, and she took me first.

She is such
A rolo whore.

I've got tons of e-mails
To return, and I've got to get

The eagle gazette a bunch
Of stuff I've written.

Don't forget to sleep,
Daughter of mine.

And I've got to unpack
And organize everything,

And that's it for now.

Okay, but you will have to leave
The bathroom to do all that.

Mmm, reluctantly.
See you downstairs.
Okay.

Hey, you have time to eat
And hang out with me, don't you?

Is that on your microscopic
Little list there?

I carved out the rest
Of the morning for you.

Oh!
Oh, my god.
What?

Get down here!
I'm coming.

He has emerged.

I'm assuming
That's paul anka.
Well, it ain't
Louis prima.

Shoo. Shoo. He shouldn't be
On the table.

That's his favorite spot.
What are you gonna do next?

Tell him he can't drink
Out of my water glass?

Sorry.
How should I approach him?

Follow me.

Okay.

Okay, stop.

Now go in the kitchen
And put sugar on your toes,

And quickly, because
First impressions are crucial

And you're blowing it
Big time.

He loves sugar, so the first
Time you come close to him,

If you've got sugar
On your toes

That he can lick and enjoy,
You're in.

He's gonna lick it?
Go, quick!

Wet your toes first
So it sticks.

What?

Dry sugar on a dry toe
Isn't gonna work.

Oh, jeez.

I'm making a mess.

Don't worry
About the mess.

We're gonna have ants.

Hurry!
I'm coming.

Okay, my toes
Are all sugared.

Okay, good.

Now do the hokey-pokey
And turn yourself around.

What?
All you have to do is
Pet him, and you're in!

You're evil.
Yes, I am.

Hey, there, boy.
Oh, that tickles.

Well, he's glad
You're here.

Wait a minute,
You're here!

I know.
Wait right there.

Is this another trick?

No, I'm just
Getting something.

[ electronic bleeps ]
Bop it!

You're pulling out
The bop it?

You're already
That bored with me?

I accidently hit the bop it
While I was getting this.
You bought me a hat.

No, it's a hatbox
Filled with these.

These are notes written

On whatever I had on hand
At the time.

Anytime I had a topic
I wanted to share with you

Or a random thought during
That crappy time apart of ours,

I jotted it down
And threw it in the hatbox

So I wouldn't forget.

Really?

I missed you, kid.
I missed you, too.

So hit me with them.

While we walk to luke's.
Come on.

Some of these
Are pretty cryptic.

Um, lenny kravitz.
Where did lenny kravitz...

Get all his money?

Yes! One hit, and he's buying
A fifth avenue mansion.

Maybe he went through
Nicole kidman's wallet.

That's got to be it.

Computer m.P. Down...

Oh, I want to download music.
There's so much out there.

Can you help me figure
That out -- mp3 players?

I can do that.
Next?

Uh, kirk's
Skeet shooting.
That's a bad combination.

Yes, first time
The town church

Has taken gunfire
Since the 18th century.

You miss so much
So quickly.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Okay -- babette, cats.

Death?
No.

Adopted another one?
No.

What?

Recorded their meows,
Did some editing,

And cut a record of them
Singing "Ring of fire."

That goes straight
To the top of my charts.

I started reading
"Beowulf,"

That new translation
You recommended.

The seamus heaney?
Good for you.

And "Stopped reading
'beowulf'"

Jotted on the same slip
Three minutes later.

You gave it
The old college try.

Ooh, this is a new one.
Kirk's got a new hobby.

He's doing tai chi?
How'd you know that?

Because he's doing it
Right there.

Is it possible for him to do
Something without looking silly?

He wouldn't be kirk then.

Bendelschnitz?

That's not english.

I know. I'll add it
To the ones I can't make out.

And razzlefrat.

Another unreadable one.

They're stacking up.

Okay.
Now wait out here.

Why?

It's a thing, a moment thing.
Just wait here.

Hey.

You ready?
For what?

For this -- the moment
You've all been waiting for.

[ rolls tongue ]

What's that?
It's a drum roll.

Sounded more
Like a helicopter.

No, it's a drum roll.
Go with it, okay?

Ladies and gentleman,
Rory gilmore!

Hi, luke.

Hey! Rory, you're back!
You look good.

Healthy, happy, here
With your mom, both of you here.

It's great, you know?
Yay.

I don't think I've ever
Said "Yay" before.

It sounded weird.
A little.

What was that sound
You were making?

It sounded like a helicopter
Or something.

That's what I said.

Has no one heard
A drum roll before?

Hey, I saved you the best table
In case you showed.

In case?
It was mandatory.

What can I get you?
Never mind.

I'm gonna bring you
Everything you like.

You were with me when
I wrote this. What does it say?

Oh, this is from that stupid
Mexican restaurant we went to.

I wrote something
On the other side.

Man, this place stunk!

I know, but read
The back there.

Look what we paid.
Unbelievable.
Downright usurious.

Look at the other side
There -- the "Razzlefrat."

They did charge me
For that second beer.

Scandalous,
But the other side.

6 bucks for guacamole.

Oh, just bring me
What she's having.

So, luke, wait. You haven't told
Me anything about yourself.

What's new with you?

With me?
Uh, nothing.

We're engaged,
Your mom and me.

I know that,
But anything else?

No. No, why?
Just wondering.

What have you heard?
Nothing.
That's why I'm asking.

Well, there's your answer --
Nothing's new.

I'm gonna go put in
Your order, okay?

We'll be waiting
Hungrily.

Did I inadvertently step
Into something there?
No idea.

Mother and daughter
Together again,

And all is right
With the world.

Hi, lorelai.
Hi, lane.

Next wednesday night,
I need you.

Tell me
You're not busy.

I'm not sure.
Why?

We're doing a showcase,
Me and the band.

Not a gig, a showcase,
And a label's going to be there.

I'm shaking!
I shouldn't shake.

I'm a drummer.
It'll mess up the beat.

But, my god,
We're playing for a label.

Wow, lane, I'm absolutely there.
This is big.

Unless it's
A "Waiting for guffman" thing,

And the label guys
Don't show up.

Did I just jinx it?

Let's do that un-jinxing thing
We used to do just in case.

Good.

Both: jinx back,
Double pinky,

Around the side,
Double pinky, jinx back.

Hey,
I want to do that.

It's a serious thing.
You don't just do it.

Sorry.

Well, lane, you guys
Are so prepared for this.

That tape you gave me
Of your new stuff was awesome.

Hey, what if I jinx it?

Do I get to do
The un-jinxing thing then?

If we jinx back a second time
Within the hour,

It cancels out
The first jinx back.

What were your favorites
On the tape?

"Melissa" was catchy
And "Calling francine,"

But that other one --
"Rebecca in the morning"?

That was my favorite.
Mine, too!

Zach's into songs
With girls' names, huh?

He thinks that's our best shot
At radio play.

It worked for the police,
The knack, franz ferdinand.

Good thinking.
Do you want to be
Our d.A. Pennebaker?

We're borrowing
A video camera,

And we need someone sober
To do the photography.

I can set my crack pipe aside
And do that.

Thanks!
You plus one, right?

Plus one?
You plus logan?

No, just me.

Oh, okay.
How about you, lorelai?

Working that night, sweetie,
But break a leg.

Does that get me
A hand thingy?
No.

Rats.
See you guys.

So just you, huh?
Okay.

As long
As you're prying...
I wasn't.

Briefly, succinctly --

Logan and I
Are not talking right now.

Ah.

We had a fight,
A big one, in public.
Oops.

I think we needed a little
Break. It's more like a hiatus.

Well, sometimes a break
Is good.
Sometimes.

All right, food,
First wave only.

Second wave,
Five minutes.

Let's dig in.

I hope it's not cold.

Oops.
I think I jinxed it.

Both: jinx back,
Double pinky,

Around the side,
Double pinky, jinx back.

Where's the onions
For my sauce?

Who's my onion man?
Right here, sookie.

Okay, right here, carl.
I need them right there.

Okay, get the shallots in.
It's time. It's time.

Okay, needs more garlic.

Come on,
"Godfather" it up for me.

Good! Good, good, good,
Good, good, good.

Okay, if you can travel
Back in time

And make me not make
The veal and ham paté,

I'd appreciate it.

Talk me out of these things
In the future, guys.

Hello.

Could you step away
From the pan, please?

Honey, do you see a joystick?
This is not a game, okay?

It's a haché sauce,
And it's for keeps.
Put it down.

Okay, what?

Okay!

[ gasps ]
Ohh!

Oh, my god!

Hi, sookie.

You're here!
[ laughs ]

You're with us!
Oh, I missed you.

I missed you.

You can set a wedding date --
No impediments.

Yeah,
I already told luke.

[ labored breathing ]
Hyperventilating.

Hyperventilating.

I was just working
On my list

Of what to make
For thanksgiving,

And I was wishing
You were gonna be here,

And now you are!

Oh, my god.

What if what I'm wishing for
Is actually coming true?

Wish for a sephora to be built
Within walking distance.

Do you need
A paper bag?

I'm good. I'm good.
Just happy.

[ excitedly ]
Rory!

Oh, hi.
Wow, michel.

Hi.

Boy, that was weird.

She just surprised me.
That's all.

It's kind of okay
That you are here.

It's kind of okay
With me, too.

Lunch!
What?

Lunch!
I'm making you lunch.

But we just...
Don't fight it.

It just came to me --
Kabobs.

Okay, drop everything,
Boys.

We're making kabobs for rory
And pot stickers.

Okay, throw everything out.
This is a celebration.

Let's get
To higher ground.

Okay, we're opening
With "Melissa,"

Closing
With "Dear maureen."

The middle part
Is screwing us up.

Oh, man, I wish we had
One more ballad.

I'm half finished with one,
But it's not gonna be ready.

* I saw her

* in the midst,
She came a-walking by, stella *

* now a blur

* made a list of what I like
About her, stella *

Cool.

Yeah, it's got a nice
Fountains of wayne

Meets the shins crossed
With "Odessey"-era zombies

And a mix of early who

And mid- to late-era
Replacements vibe to it.

That's what
I was going for.

Still hunting for that
Middle eight, you know?

So, um,
It's called "Stella"?

Didn't you like it?

No, it's good. It's just...
It's another girl's name.

If he was singing
About dudes,

I'd be out the door.

I think about people
That I've known,

And I draw inspiration
From that.

I know. It's just
No big deal or anything.

But have you ever thought
To write one about,

I don't know,
A girl named lane.

Well, "Lane" just isn't that
Great of a name for a song.

But you've already got one
Called "Lorraine."

"Lorraine"
Is pretty much "Lane"

With an extra syllable
Thrown in.

True, but nothing rhymes
With "Lane."

I'm sorry, but a million things
Rhyme with "Lane."

Yeah, "Rain," "Pain,"
All cliché stuff.

You're not a writer.

You could come up with stuff
To rhyme with lane.

Wait, maybe I could right one
About your korean name.

What was that again?
[ speaks korean ]

0 for 2.
Look, it's not your fault.

You didn't pick your name.
Your mom did.

Right, I didn't pick it.

So where were we?

Oh, "Lorraine."
Where should "Lorraine" go?
Try it after "Rebecca."

It's not as good as going from
"Rebecca" to "Linda marie."

True is true.

Man, I wish "Stella"
Was ready.

Three days.

Three days
He had the hiccups.

Poor paul anka.

And my sneaking up on him
To scare them out of him --

He jumped so high,
His head split my lip.

See the red?
My blood.

Oh, um,
Here's a non-fun one

Just to mix it up
A little.

What?
Your dad called.

Wow. It's been like a year,
Hasn't it?

When did he call?

The very worst
Possible time.
He's got a knack
For that.

He left a message,
Which luke overheard,

And it freaked him out.

That's understandable.

We argued. Arguing's not just
For the younger demographic.

Nice to know.
But then we made up,
And we had a good talk.

Then I listened to the rest
Of christopher's message,

And he wants to see me.

Why?
He didn't say.

He sounded very chipper.

He said he had something very
Important to discuss with me

And that it wasn't a trick

And that it was an absolute,
100% positive thing

For me and for you.

For both of us?

Mm-hmm.

Meaning there's a 99.9%
Chance that it won't be.

I guess so.
So what should I do?

You could ignore him.
That's dangerous, too.

It's a slippery slope
With dad.
What could it be about?

I mean, he wouldn't dare
Be in cahoots

With emily and richard
On something, would he?

He's not that dumb.
Yeah, but he's vulnerable.
They prey on the weak.

He said it's something positive.
It couldn't involve them.

Maybe he's getting back together
With his wife.

That's not technically good news
For us. It's just news.

Maybe it's about g.G.
Maybe she's a prodigy.

Maybe he's calling
To invite us

To her premiere
At carnegie hall.

Playing what instrument?
The flugelhorn.

She's 3. We would have read
About it in the paper by now.

"Freakishly talented 3-year-old
Flugelhorn prodigy discovered."

It would be
Very positive news.

Hmm.
Well, I'm out.

Me too.

[ sighs ]

Guess there's only one way
To find out.

Guess so.

Ugh.
Razzlefrat.
Bendelschnitz.

Thank you so much,
Big brother.

What a godsend you are.

Yep, god sent me to help you,
And now he must pay.

You know, I've never made dinner
For 12 people before.

Actually, I've never
Made dinner before.

See, I'm making rolls for my
Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow,

And I just don't have
The oven space...Or the oven.

Just hurry, liz.

See, I've got a convection oven
And a microwave,

And that's gonna take care
Of everything else.

See, I'm a student
Of martha.

You know martha stewart?
She's a genius.

Don't bother
The customers, liz.

They're all renaissance-fair
People coming to this thing.

You know some of them.
Goody.

Larry, with the "Kill 'em all"
Tattoo on his face,

And freddy, the guy
Who doesn't have thumbs.

Don't tell me.
He's hitchhiking in.

[ laughs ]
You're funny.

Really, luke, I'm calling you
"Yakov" from now on.

Just try not to be
Too intrusive, please, liz.

Yes, sir!

Hey, that's fun!

Okay, this is not what I call
Not being intrusive.

Wait, I know this.

Two "Nots" is
A double negative,

Which makes it
A positive and...

You know, this is where I always
Lose my train of thought.

You're intruding.

Oh! Pbht!

Is this one roll?
It's crazy!

You separate them.

Oh, boy,
My carpal tunnel.

That's gonna make
Doing this impossible.

Hey, would you mind
Giving me a hand?

No, you don't have
To do that.

Yes, I do.

If you insist.

I'm gonna grab me
A cup of coffee.

Sophie, you've done, like,
Big-joe gigs before,

Playing the piano.

Any advice?
Don't wear
A clown suit.

Thanks.

Still got my eye
On this beauty.

Just don't put
Your hand on it.

Maybe I'll splurge and get it.
You take mastercard?

Why? You got one?

Just waiting to hear back
On the application.

Keep moving.

Oh! Cool.
We should all get these.

Wireless mikes?

Isn't that
Too gwen stefani?

Not if we wear them.
It'll be totally peter gabriel.

[ soft music plays ]

Hey, dude, that didn't sound
Too bad. What is that?

Just a song I've been working
On. I don't know if it's good.

Chords are good.
Any lyrics?

Some.
It's called "Lane."

It's called "Lane"?
Who, me, lane?

Yeah, we were talking
About songs and lane yesterday,

And I just got inspired.

Inspired, huh?

That's nice.
Thanks, brian!

It doesn't make me want
To be violently ill.

High praise.

Yeah, thanks, sophie.

We can learn it
Next week.

Look, we came to get picks.
Let's get picks, okay?

I snagged the best table
In the house.

You slipped the guy
A buck?

And he gave me
50 cents change. Hey.

Hey, chris.

[ both chuckle ]

I don't know how you do it.
You always look amazing.

I got the girls from
The wash and brush up company

From "Wizard of oz"
Working for me now.

[ laughs ]
Good deal.

[ sighs ]
So how's our rory?

Oh, she's good.
She's, um, you know, great.

Very busy.
As per usual.

She took a little time
Off yale.

And the apocalypse
Is this week, next week?

But she's back there,
And she's thriving.

She'll be running
The world one day.

You sure?

She's doing great.
Trust me.

I do.

So?
So.

What's going on?
Well, wouldn't you
Like to know?

Christopher.

This is the funnest thing
I've got to do in years.

Let me savor it.

Come on. Tell me.
What?

My grandfather died.

Um, that's fun how?

Well, that's not
The fun part.

The old man was 98 --
Long life, great life.

His last words were an
Inappropriate pass to the nurse.

Pretty good one, too --
I made a mental note of it.

So your grandfather died?

Well, the old guy
Was actually pretty cool,

And for some reason,
He always liked me.

He was the hayden
With the purse strings.

Long story short,
I'm rich.

You're rich!

I mean, I'm not bill gates
By a long shot,

But I've got money.

Can you stand it?

Good, chris.
That's good.

And I want to share it.

I've set g.G. Up with funds
For private nursery school

And prep school and college
And grad school

And post-grad school
And phd school

And a wedding and a divorce,
If she wants it,

And another wedding.

Or she can buy
A bunch of cats

And a lifetime supply
Of twizzlers and popcorn

If that's her choice,
But she's all set.

And now I want to take care
Of you -- you and rory.

Oh. Oh, chris,
I don't know what to say.

What do you want,
A car?

How about a bentley?
They're pretty sweet.

Or a new house or a tract
Of land to build a new house?

I can do that.
I can buy you a tract.

Christopher.

Is there someone
You hate

That you'd like to say
"I can buy and sell you" to?

Because you can have the funds
To make that happen.

You want some
People-crushing money?

Oh, chris,
Slow down here.

Everybody needs something.

Including you.
Don't forget yourself.

I bought a new bike.
I bought a giant audio system.

What else do I want?
Nothing.

Buy yourself
A tract of land.

Come on,
Let me give you something.

A castle in ireland.
A civil war cannon.

A brewery. Yeah!
Buy a brewery.

That would be cool.
You could brew your own beer.

I had a brewery
For a while,

But I couldn't stand
The smell of hops.

Pay off something --

Your house, outstanding bills,
Your bookie, something.

Pay off yale.
Pay off your back taxes.

I don't owe
Any back taxes.

Oh, right, that's me.

Look, chris,
You're very nice to offer,

And I love that you're
So excited about it.

It's great to see you like this,
But I'm fine.

You're too
Un-materialistic.

You know,
I've always thought that.

I'll talk to rory, see if she
Wants a brewery or a bentley.

Don't forget the castle.

I'll mention the castle.
And it doesn't have to be
In ireland.

It can be in germany,
Czech republic, narnia.

I'll leave nothing out.
Okay.

So, you hungry?
A little.

Let's eat.
[ chuckles ]

I'm paying for lunch.

This is the first club
I ever went to.

I was underage
And snuck in

And saw grandaddy in one
Of their first concerts.

I remember, once, throwing up
In that corner,

And some dude slipped in it
And had to go to the hospital,

And I stole the chick
He was with

And shacked up with her
For a week and a half.

Another fun memory.

How about it, guys?
You about ready to do this?

Just a few more minutes,
Gary.

Where's zach?
I don't know.
He's coming separately.

Here he is.
Where you been, man?

Are we punching
Time cards now?

You almost missed
Sound check.

Well, "Almost" means
I didn't miss it.

Just set up your amp,
Okay?
Whatever.

I'm not liking
The setup here.

This is how
We always set up.

Do you want it
To look stale?

We're gonna need room
For the new guy, too.

New guy?

Hey, joel,
Come over here, buddy.

This is joel.
He's gonna sit in on tambourine.

How you doing?
Lane: good, joel.

We added a new guy?
On tambourine?

He's gonna fill out
Our sound.

The only reason
To have a tambourine

Is if it's being played
By a hot chick.

No offense, joel,
But you're not a hot chick.

Yo, gary! See this?
Remember it. It's mine.

I don't want it sucked
Into the club's gear.

What,
The gwen stefani mike?

It's not a gwen stefani mike,
And don't take it.

You bought that mike?

It means I can crowd surf.
The audience loves that.

They do. They love
Crowd surfing -- dig.

Figure I'll stage-dive
Right after our guitar solo.

Hey, can I talk to you
For a second?

What is wrong with you?

Nothing, why?

You added a band member
Without telling us?

Well, it's my band,
Right?

No, actually, we're supposed
To be a democracy.

Is this coming
From brian?

No, it's coming from me.
I'm just...Concerned.

Well, don't be,

And don't be a huge mega bummer
Before our big show.

That's not cool.

Okay, I'm sorry.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hello.

Hey, it's me.
Who's "Me"?

Oh, my god. You don't recognize
Your best friend's voice.

Sorry, paris.
There's noise here.

So I'm returning
Your call.

Thanks. I just wanted
To tell you something.

[ rolls tongue ]
I'm coming back to yale.

What was that sound?

That was a drum roll.

You really had
To drum roll that?

Of course
You're coming back.

What are you gonna do without
A degree, drive a forklift?

Well, I was calling to ask you
If you could keep

Your eyes and ears open
For a place for me to live.

It's going to be tough.

Plus, I want to come back
To the yale daily news.

That's a given. Where are you
Right now, by the way?

I'm here
At the daily news.

By yourself?
No, everyone's here.

I just like
A super-quiet atmosphere --

No extraneous talking,

And I've even had
The computer keyboards deadened.

So they're getting no break
For thanksgiving?

I put up a fold-out
Paper turkey,

And I laid out
Some oscar mayer.

Nice.

Well, keep an eye out
For a place for me, okay?

Will do. See you.
Thanks, bye.

So...No sign of crying
Or hair being pulled out.

The thing with dad
Went okay?

It was fine.
He was telling the truth.

Nothing too horrible,
Except for the "Frings."

The what?
The combo basket
Of fries and onion rings.

Good in theory, but...

So what did he want
To talk to you about?

Well,
His grandfather died.

Apparently, it was one
Of those un-sad deaths,

Like buddy hackett.

No one was sad
About buddy hackett?

No one I saw
On the news.

Anyway, he left chris money,
A lot of money,

And now he's offering
To shower us with it.

Want a bentley?
I don't think so.

How about a castle?
What would I do
With a castle?

I'm relaying the offer.

Dad should keep the money
For himself.

Are you sure
There's nothing you want?

A brewery, a faberge egg,
Or what else did he mention?

Paying for yale through a phd,
Vacations,

A cannon
From the civil war --

Functioning, by the way,
So it's not just for show.

It seemed like
The sky was the limit,

Although he didn't mention
The hoover dam,

So maybe there is a cap
Of some sort.

Actually, I think maybe there
Is something I want.

Really?
Okay, what?

I would maybe let him
Pay for yale.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Wow.
Unless it's too much.

I think it was the cheapest
Of all the things he mentioned.

There would be
Residual benefits.

It would get me out from under
Grandma and grandpa's thumb,

Which sounds
Really good to me.

Well, I can't say
I don't relate.

I don't want them to be holding
Anything over my head.

I don't want
To owe them anything.

There's too much pressure,
Too much expected.

There are too many strings
With these people.

Okay, I'm getting
Very uncomfortable

With the "Freaky friday" moment
We've got going on here

'cause it means
I have to go to yale,

You have to run the inn,
And I don't even like thinking

About what it would mean
For luke.

It's feeling better
By the second, this idea.

You do understand

You'd basically be cutting
Mom and dad off.

You don't know what it was like
To be living there.

Hello?
Oppressed one, class of '85.

But you got out.
No, no. You were only there
For three months.

You're not in my league.
We can't swap war stories yet.

They had their reverend
Come over

To talk me out
Of having sex.

They never did that
To you.

Five times
They did that to me.

The last time,
They triple-teamed me

With a priest, a rabbi,
And a mormon missionary.

I made so many jokes
That night,

I should have had a microphone
And a brick wall behind me.

And I never got
A $40,000 sex house.

A what?
You don't want
To know.

Look, I know
It's a slippery slope.

Dad is dad.
Yes, he is.

But I'm pretty sure
I want to do this.

Well, if you're sure,
You're sure.

We'll call him.
We'll call him.

He's gonna be happy.
Not as happy as me.

Good.

Hey.
Hey!

Wow! You look almost
Intimidatingly cool.

Thanks.
Everyone ready?

Pretty much, although
Sound check was a little weird.

Well, you know what they say --
Weird sound check, good gig.

Who says that?
Well, just me,
But I'm hoping it'll catch on.

See those two guys?
Those are the label guys.

Oh, I'll be careful
Not to hurt them

When I start
Violently slam dancing.

You're gonna be great.

Thanks.
I should get back there.

We have this pre-show thing
We always do.

Good luck.

Test. Test. Test.

Monitor check.
Monitor check!

Test. Test.
Test. Test.

Where did they get these
Monitors, the kremlin?

It's your
Wireless mike, dude.

Did somebody touch it?
Because it was working before.

One minute, guys.
Who said one minute?
We go on when we go on.

No one tells axl rose
When he goes on.

You're comparing yourself
To axl rose?

Don't get
In my face, brian.
I'm not.

Go write
Some more songs.

Gary: all right!
Welcome to the new vic!

Listen, we're throwing out
The set list.

I'm gonna be calling out tunes
Like jack white.

But we rehearsed in this order.
We've got transitions.

Yeah, reo speedwagon
Had transitions, too.

You want to be
Reo speedwagon?

We should have brought
The smoke machine.

Gary: we got a special showcase
For you tonight,

So put your hands together
For connecticut's own hep alien.

We didn't do
Our lucky pre-show thing.

Lane, count it down!

What are we playing?
Yeah,
What are we playing?

Check, one, two.
Check, check.

I need to be hotter
On the monitors, gary.

Wake up, dude.
Come on, let's start.

We'll start when I'm ready.
This is my stage.

Come on,
Let's do "Rebecca."

It's worth waiting around
To see the band

That's gonna get the biggest
Record deal in history.

Play!
Yeah, play!

This is pathetic.

You guys suck!

"Free bird"!

[ bass plays ]
Hey, knock it off.

Knock what off?
You know
What you're doing.

Get back to your mike.
Get back!

Zach!
Don't kick him.

Get off my stage
If you got a problem.

Nobody's gonna tell me what
To do on my stage with my band.

Dude, you need to find
Another place to stand.

If he moves,
He gonna block lane.

You don't want
Lane blocked, do you?

Come on!

This is a song
Called "Stella."

We haven't learned
That song.

Let's go back
To the set list.

I'm here to destroy the system,
So stay out of my way.

Hey!
And you need a --

[ audience shouting ]

[ booing ]

Dude broke
My wireless mike.

Zach, what is wrong
With you?

Nothing.

Nothing?
This was a disaster.

The guys from the label
Were there.

They showed up.
It was our shot.

We worked so hard
To get to this point,

And we blew our big shot.

What the hell
Is wrong with you?

[ sighs ]

You let me down tonight.

You let down gil.
You let down brian.

I don't want to hear
About brian.
Zach!

This is what it is, okay?

Maybe this is why people
In bands shouldn't date.

Yeah.

I guess so.

Hey, guys.

Happy thanksgiving.
Hi, dad.

Come here, you.
[ smooches ]

God, I've missed you.

Have you grown?
She's grown.

Only in my estimation.

I cannot tell you how jazzed
I am to see you on thanksgiving.

We have never seen each other
On thanksgiving.

Oh, god, is that true?

I think so.
I know so.

So what's this about?

I filled rory in. I mentioned
The brewery and the castle.

The oompa loompas?
Those, too.

And, um...
Well, you want to take it?

Sure.

Dad, I thought about it,

And mom and I
Talked about it,

And I think
It would be really great

If you could pay for yale.

Absolutely, absolutely.
Nothing would make me happier.

Good, thank you.

I am there.
I am so there.
That's great.

Let me pay
For chilton, too.

That's already
Taken care of.

You know,
Yale's kind of expensive.

But I'm loaded.
Didn't you tell her?

I told her.

Do I give you the cash,
Or do I pay yale?

Do they take checks, or does it
Have to be a money order?

What is a money order, anyway?
How's it different from a check?

Isn't a check a piece of paper
Forwarding money?

Whoa, chris, slow down.

This makes me so happy.
I can't tell you, rory.

It means a lot to me.

This was excellent timing,
Believe me.

Well,
It means more to me.

[ cellphone rings ]

This is the paper
In stamford.

Hey, try to steal a pie
On your way out.

Okay.

[ sighs ]

Thanks for making
This happen, lor.

Hey, it wasn't me.
It's what she wanted.

Well, thanks for giving her
The choice.
My pleasure.

So can I
Ask you something?
Sure.

It involves the "E" word
And the "R" word.

Oh, please, let's not discuss
Evolution or recycling.

They're just too
Hot button.

Weren't emily and richard
Paying for yale?

Yes, they were.
Something going on there?

Everything's fine.

Why'd she take time off?

It's a long story.

Listen, chris,
Just so we're clear.

We're clear.
I'm providing -- that's it.

I'm just doing what
I should have done years ago.

Good.

And it will remain good,
Honest.

Okay.

So how long have you
Been engaged?

[ sighs ]
Who told you?

[ laughing ]
Your finger.

Oh. Blabbermouth.

It's a good thing.
I want you happy. I always have.

I know.
Thank you.

But this isn't gonna be
A weird thing

With you and him is it --
My paying for yale?

No, it's not gonna be.

Cool.

You're getting a rolls for
A wedding present, you know.

Cool. I should register
For a driver to go with it.

Well, yeah, they're too big
To drive by yourself.

No, god, you got to have
Somebody to drive you.

Bye now. Have a nice...

[ thud ]

...Thanksgiving.
Huh?

My rolls exploded.

What do you mean,
They "Exploded"?

They turned black,
And they exploded.

Well, clean it up.
I'm not gonna --

My turkey!

Liz!

Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

It's like motley crue's
Been here.

Good, that red-button thingy
Hasn't popped out yet.

You're way overcooking
Your stuffing here.

Hey, how do you turn on
Your oven light?

Never mind,
I'll check my martha.

Yeah, how to turn on
My oven light

Is not gonna be
In your martha stewart book.

Hey, that red pop-up thingy --
Are turkeys born with that,

Or is that something
They put in?

Why don't you ask martha?

Oh, she knows.
She knows everything.

You're gonna have to get
Some canned cranberry sauce.

Your homemade --
Well...It's not red.

It should be red.

I know. I don't know
How that happened.

Well, everything seems
Kind of under control here.

Thanks, luke.
I'm so sorry.

T.J. Thought the microwave
Was working, but I guess not.

It's okay.

[ sighs ]
Liz...

Look at martha's hands.
They are so white.

Liz, you got a minute?

Yeah, big brother,
I got a minute.

[ sighs ]

Um...This is hard.

I feel like this giant weight's
Been sitting on me.

I just need someone
To talk to.

Well, then talk.

[ sighs ]

I've got a kid.

A kid?
You've got a kid?

A girl, a little girl.
She's 12.

I am her father.

Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

She came to the diner
Out of the blue.

She was testing to see
Who her father was.

Not for money
Or anything --

It was for this science fair
She was in.

She's smart.

Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.

So I went down
To the fair,

And there she was, you know,
And there I was --

My picture, the dna test.
[ chuckles ]

She's mine.

12, huh?
12.

It's anna nardini,
Isn't it?

How'd you know?

Luke, you're not
Warren beatty.

I mean,
You could have been.

Girls like you, but you're
A serial monogamist.

That's why you're you.

I remember anna.
I liked her.

I don't know what to do.
I'm just so confused.

Well, what
Did lorelai say?

You haven't told her.

We're engaged.
We're on track here, her and me.

Rory's back,
So that's settled now.

We're in a good place,
And this could wreck it.

It won't wreck it,
Not unless you let it.

She's been out there 12 years,
This little girl.

What does anna want
From you?

That's the thing -- nothing.
She hasn't contacted me.

Why hasn't she?
She could have called me.

What, does she think
I'd be a deadbeat?

[ laughs ]
No one would think that.

April doesn't want
Anything either.

That's her name --
April.

It's all just
Very scientific with her.

I couldn't even get her
To go for ice cream with me.

Well...
Did you offer cake?

No.

Maybe she wanted
Cake or pie.

You offer pie?
No.

Maybe she wanted pie...
Or fudge.

It's not about
What I offered her, liz.

She didn't have
Any interest.

You know, that's the thing.
Why should I feel burdened?

I mean, they're not reaching
Out, neither one of them.

So why should I?

I don't know.
The girl's got her life.

She seems very adjusted --
A little weird, but thriving.

Anna's got her life.
I've got my life, you know?

I shouldn't worry
About this.

I mean, why should I?
There's no reason to.

I guess not.

Good, good.
[ exhales sharply ]

I'm not gonna worry.
I'm gonna let it go.

This has been good.

Thanks for listening, liz.
I feel better.

You should get back
To your food there.

This is settled.

Okay.

There's your martha.

Thanks.

Oh.

Everyone's here.
Everyone's hungry.

Perfect timing
'cause treat, chuck,

And bob here
Are ready to be consumed.

Please, don't name
The food we eat.
Sorry.

So are you ready
To carve?

We're ready to carve.
I could use some help, though.

Maybe send luke in.
He loves to carve.

There's enough food, right?
Did I make enough food?

There's plenty, even considering
The extra guests.

Go tell them
It'll be five minutes.

Will do.

Huzzah!

Nice.

You're so good
At that, stu, really.

Too bad you didn't put
All that effort

Into something
You could make money at.

Thanks, liz.

When are you coming back out
On the circuit with us?

I think sometime after
I'm drugged and lobotomized.

[ laughs ]

You're the funniest,
Smartest guy I know, luke.

I'm calling him yakov
From now on.

Please don't judge me
By this.

I won't...Yakov.

We're just minutes away
From eating, everybody.

Oh, I can't wait
To see this meal.

My dinner didn't turn out
Like martha's picture.

Who knew a turkey
Could melt like that?

Hey, guys, when did you
Sneak in?

A couple
Of minutes ago.

How'd you like
To carve for us?
I'll carve if you want.

Bless you.

Let me talk to you over here
For a second first.

Oh, okay.

So.

Yeah?

Um...

That christopher call
From before, the famous one.

The infamous one.
Oh, you remember that?

I remember it.

Well, I never filled you in
On the content.

He said he wanted to talk,
And he said it was important,

So I met up with him.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, and he's come into
A lot of money, family money,

And he offered
Rory and me

Lots of things
We didn't want or need,

But rory took him up
On his offer to pay for yale.

It was her idea,
And I support it.

That's it.

So he's gonna be financing
Her tuition

This year and next year.

We got together today
At a diner to finalize it.

That's it.

I think that's great.

Really?
Yes, I think
That's absolutely great.

You heard about how I got
Together with christopher?

Absolutely.
You had to, to talk about this.

He's her dad.
He's her dad.

If he's got something,
He should be sharing it.

He's been gone most of the time,
So he owes you.

I'm glad he's doing it.

He's doing what a dad
Is supposed to do.

He's taking care of his kid.
Good, good.

Yeah, good.
So you're good with this?

I am.
And so we're good?

We're great.

Thank you
For understanding.

I'm gonna go carve.

Okay.

Oh, rory,
Have you met freddy?

He has no thumbs.

No, I haven't.
Hi, freddy.

Um...

[ cellphone rings ]

Excuse me.

Hello?

Rory, hi.
It's honor huntzberger.

Oh, hi, honor.
How are you doing?

I've been exiled.

My parents' house
Is 11,000 square feet,

And smoking is banned from
Every nook and cranny of it --

Only because mom
Stopped smoking again.

So here I am,
Freezing my ass off.
Bummer.

So I thought I'd call
And tell you what a drag it is,

This thing
With you and logan.

Oh, yeah?

When logan said
You two broke up,

I almost threw a lamp
At him.

Oh.

Moron --
He's his own worst enemy.

He told you
That we broke up?

Well, I was wondering
Where you were for thanksgiving,

And, at first, young seacrest
Hemmed and hawed,

Which wasn't sufficient,
So he finally told me.

Idiot -- him, not you.

Right.

I'm so sorry, but you and I
Can still go shopping.

Bergdorf's is calling.

Yeah, sure.
Good.

Well, I have
To get back inside

Before I turn
Into an ice cube.

Are you at least having
A nice thanksgiving?

Yeah, it's really nice.

I'll be in touch.
Sure.
Thanks, honor.

Bye.
Bye.

[ beep ]

Okay, that's too thin.
Too thin.

I'm just getting started.
Give me some room.

Okay, that's too thick.
Too thick. Too thick.

Hang on, sookie.

You're crooked.
You're crooked.

Okay.
Good idea.

[ sighs ]

[ dials ]

Yeah, nardini.

Woodbridge.

Thanks.

[ beeps ]

April: hello, you've reached
The nardini residence.

We're not home,

Or we're just too distracted
To answer right now.

[ receiver slams ]

[ sighs ]

She kick you out?
Huh? Who?

Sookie.
Yeah.

Predictable.

Yeah, predictable.

Hey, you okay?

Kind of.

You sure?

I'm just hungry.

Dinner is served!

[ indistinct talking ]

Man: look at the turkey.

Holy cow.