All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E21 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

[ classical music plays ]

This feels so decadent.
Isn't this decadent?

Very decadent.
Are there more
Marshmallows?

All you two have been dipping
Are the marshmallows.

You haven't touched the kiwi
Or the pineapple

Or the tangelo slices.

But it's fruit.
Fruit is good for you.

We're fondue purists,
Grandma.

The government says
You should have nine servings

Of fruit and vegetables
Per day.

Imperialist propaganda.

I think noam chomsky
Would agree.

Yeah, but noam
Doesn't dip fruit.

Or laugh.
Ever seen that punim on him?

Easter island.

Luminista, please bring
More marshmallows.

Bless you.

I'd love to get your opinion
On something.
Sure.

The city ballet's
In trouble.

We've given so much
Over the years,

But it's never enough to cover
Everything they need.

I hate that.

So we're trying
Something new.

Select patrons,
Such as myself,

Are sponsoring
Individual dancers.

Help me pick one.
Pick what?

My dancer --
I get to take one home.

Bios are on the back.

And this is legal?
Of course it's legal.

Do you want a boy or a girl,
Grandma?

I'm thinking a little girl,
Cute and petite.

They're all petite.

But not all cute.

This one should fouetté
Over to the dermatologist.

Oh, yes, I'd rather not look
At that.

Mom, this is
A little creepy.

It's not creepy.

We're endowing dancers

So they don't have to worry
About money -- it's nice.

Well, gregorio here looks
Pretty well endowed already.

Stop that.

Here's a little
Cutie-patootie.

Oh, she's darling.
Look at those little feet.

Whoa, you're right.

This gregorio guy --
What's up with that?
Rory!

Just a little girl talk, mom.
Who are we offending?

Let's make two piles -- one
For the maybes, one for the nos.

Sandpaper face is a no?
Definitely.

What about endowment boy?

The maybes.

You go, grandma.

Bet gregorio would be good
Dipped in chocolate.

[ chuckles ]

Sorry.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

I don't know --
Adopting a ballet dancer?

The whole thing sounds
Very shady.

It's good to support the arts
Anyway we can,

Even the
Shady-sounding ones.

Hey, you took my book bag.
I need that.

Oops, sorry.

So, you really think
That transferring your stuff

Bit by bit like this
Is the way to go, huh?

Easier than renting
Something?

You want to relive
The u-haul incident of may 2004?

Oh, you make one
Iffy u-turn.

We were in a tunnel.
A wide tunnel.

Going the wrong way
Down a one-way street.
They don't let you
Forget.

I've got
That elephant's memory

When it comes
To nearly dying.

Hey, you took
My book bag again.

Aah!

So, hey, let's finalize
Our plans for thursday.

Right. So, jackson says
Sookie has been napping

Between 11:00 and 12:30
Every day.

It must be nice to nap
Without feeling guilty.

Get pregnant,
And you'll have an excuse.
No, thanks.

Meet me at their house at noon,
Bring decorations,

And she'll wake up to a nice,
Fun, surprise baby shower.

I think it's cool we waited
This long to throw it.

She's totally not
Going to expect it.

Plus, we forgot.
Only we know that.

I'm not telling.
Good. Bye, hon.

Mom, my purse.

Oh, sorry.

Luke, can I have a word
With you?

Yes.

You overcharged me
For the toast.

It's only supposed
To be $1.

I didn't overcharge you,
Kirk.

I raised the price of wheat
Toast -- it's $1.10.

You're kidding.
I don't do toast humor.

$1.10 from $1?
That's a 10% bump.

It's a dime, kirk.
I could refuse to pay.

Then I'll steal
Your bike.

That's never worked
Before.

I haven't raised the price
Of my toast in seven years.

It's still a bargain.

I'll give you $1.04.
No.

$1.05 --
That's my last offer.

Do I look like ebay?

I take my toast dry.

Isn't there
A butter-and-jam discount?
No.

What about your chairs?

I'm light, and I plop
My butt directly on the
Chair without sliding,

So there's practically
No wear and tear.

There's no discount
For direct butt-plopping.

What about --
Fine. $1.05.
It's $1.05.

Thanks.
That's very nice of you.

Hey.

You raise something
From $1 to $1.10.

Is that such a big deal?

Well, that's 10%,

So percentage-wise,
It's not so tiny.

Did I step
Into something here?

I shouldn't have gotten
Into a business

That involves dealing
With people.

Hey.

Hey, your cover!

I got an advance copy.

Oh, look at the inn.
It looks beautiful.

I've got to get a new pair
Of pants.

Okay, that didn't
Exactly follow.

No, for the party
They're gonna throw you.

You don't need new pants.
You just need pants.

The party's in new york,
So you may not even need pants.

I've got to get a copy.
You got a connection.

I want to get a bunch, though --
Frame one or two.

How's the article?
What's it say?

It was then, sadly, that I
Discovered luke could not read.

You know what I mean.

People are gonna think
I wrote it.

I mean, it's big.
I nearly cried when I read it.

And the fact that when
Emily gilmore reads it,

She's going to hire men to
Attack me with tire irons --

Well, that's something else
Altogether.

What did they put in?

Not every heinous thing I said
About her, but enough.

I mean, it's good stuff.
It's funny.

Maybe if I told them,
"Not the face."
Who?

The guys
With the tire irons.

You should just show it to her
And get it over with.

Mmm, maybe.
Yeah, you're probably right.

[ telephone rings ]

Hello.
Hold on.

Hey, luke, it's for you.
It's taylor.

Caesar, you just broke
Luke's standing

"When taylor calls I'm out
Even if he can see me

Through the stupid
Connecting window" rule.

I can tell him you're out

And that duke, your evil twin,
Is in town.

No, no, I'll take it.

I actually have to discuss
Something with him.

Hello.

Luke, hey, buddy.

Hey, buddy.

So, the powers-that-be
Have signed off

On you purchasing
The twickum house.

All that's left is dotting
The I's and crossing the t's.

Okay...Fine.

Oh, sorry, lorelai's there.
Can't talk now, right?

Pretty much.

You know, I'm a bit
Of a romantic, luke.

The thought of you
Buying this house for
Your burgeoning family

Is quite touching --
I almost tear up.

Adds to the tax base,
Too.

Well, good.
Talk to you later.

Taylor: goodbye.

Wow, you and taylor
Seem to be getting on

Very well these days.

Yeah, well, he's been
Cooperating with me

On certain matters.

Luke, I think the sales tax
Is off by a penny.

In fact, I'm sure of it.

I ready to go to the mat
On this one.

Those guys
With the tire irons?

Where did your mother
Get them?

The d.A.R., and they don't work
For outsiders.

[ sighs ]
Show me the penny, kirk.

[ elevator bell dings ]

Hey, al. Hey, pete.
Hey, lance.

This goes to metro,
A.S.A.P.

Rory, if you see patel,
Tell him I'm looking for him.

Got it.
Need it back by 5:00, gentlemen.

Thanks, beautiful.
Manners, boys.

Rory, you got
Those obituaries?
Give me five minutes.

Lot of dying today.
I hear that.

Oh, patel, charlie
Wants to see you.

You going by audrey?
I can.

Give her this.
Okay, will do.

Hey, ace.

Hey, you're early!

There's a first for everything.
Where's the fire?

Oh, just south of the 95.
It's a four-alarm.

We've got kessler on it.

This is from patel.
I'm not talking to him.

I'll tell him.

How did you know
About the fire?
I didn't.

I meant, where are you going
In such a hurry?

Oh, I'm at half speed
Compared to this morning.

Oh, no.

I'm gone for
Five minutes,

And this place becomes
A dumping ground.

I'm loving the non-generic feel
Of your space here.

I have customized it
Somewhat.

Eccentric uncle?
Brian eno.

So let's go.
It's 4:30.

Cut out early.

We're doing
Our rough front page.

It's our busiest part
Of the day.

If the people of stamford
Don't get their paper,
They'll turn on the radio.

I can't go.
I know the boss.

So do I.

But I know how to work the boss.
He's in the vicinity.

Who, your dad?
Can't you sense it?

The flurry of the frightened.
The shuffle of sycophants.

Hey, someone new.
Have we been introduced?

Jose canseco, post-steroids,
Should be a warning to people.

Are you keeping rory
From her work?

I was about to call
Security.

Does everyone know
About the --

Noon friday, main conference
Room, come with your game.

Good. Did you call your mother
About the vineyard?

She's on my list.
Push him on that,
Won't you?

I'm going to four,
If you want to catch up.

Enjoy four.
What's four?

Fourth floor.

You news people
And your jargon.

He treating you all right?

Who, your dad?
He's been great.

Sure?
Yeah.

So, what do you think
About friday?

An excellent alternative
To thursday.

My sister's
Engagement party.

Oh, right, I'm gonna try.
I'm dying to see the yacht.

Well, it's gonna be full
Of honor's ditzy friends,

But the harbor's cool.

Leave your grandparents'
Dinner early.

They get you every friday night.
Let me have one.

You're very one-note today.
I miss you, ace.

I'll have more free time
Once finals are over
And summer's here,

Unless I get
That summer job here.

You're probably a shoo-in.
My father seems to like you.

Oh, I hope so.
I love it here.

Okay, so I'll just go hang
Somewhere till you're done?

I'll be done 6:30 --
7:00, at the latest.

Ace.
6:45.

So maybe I'll be hanging
On two or five.

Is that the right
Terminology?

You're getting there.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

Lorelai:
Come on, please.
I'm done.

No, you can't be done.
I'm done.

There's more. I know it.
It's germinating.

I'm done. I'm at peace.
There's no more.

[ inhales ]

Just the smell
Of manhattan.

I knew it --
There was more.

I mean, forget about the smells
You can't identify.

The ones you can identify
Are putrid.

I mean, if it's not
That rank smell of hot dog

Gushing out of those
Dirty sidewalk carts,

It's the stench of the subway
Pouring out of the dirty grates.

The manhole-cover steam?
God knows what that steam is.

You can't get a breath
Of fresh air.

Go, luke.
Rant, luke.

The whole city
Is a decaying heap.

It's too many people crammed
Into too many buildings

On too small a piece
Of land.

It's an experiment
That's failed.

They should just give
The whole island a push,

Float it over to europe.

But after we see
"Spamalot," right?

I paid a lot
For those tickets.

I'm fine with
An urban environment.

But you need land around you,
Space, air to breathe.

[ inhales deeply,
Exhales ]

I'm done again.

I love ranting luke.

Why does this song
Keep playing?

Because I put the cd player
On repeat

With my fancy remote
In my fancy limo.

Hey, do a limo rant.
I bet that's a good one.

It's right they sent you a limo.
You deserve it.

And it enabled us
To drink and not drive.

That's good, too.

I heard there was good food
At this party.

I heard that, too.

Never made it to the food,
Did we?

I had three peppermints
From the bowl in the men's room.

Gave the attendant a $5
'cause it's all I had.

Made it to the bar,
Though.

Yeah, we should have eaten
Something before we went.

Who knew we'd keep missing
The trays?

But I'm not hungry,
But I'm something.

What am I?
You're drunk.

[ laughs ]
I haven't been drunk in years.

Hey, have I thanked
You enough

For escorting me
And being such a good sport

And shaking hands with
The big-city folk you don't like

And putting extra cherries
In my manhattan?

Yeah, you did.

There'll be more thanking
Later on tonight.

Tastes like peppermint.

* ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

* ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

* ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

[ door opens ]

Hi, you're late.
Sorry.

It's only a little after noon.
I'm not that late.

We have very limited time
During sookie's nap here.

I don't want to blow it.
Hold on.

You went to doose's
For baby-shower decorations?

I didn't know
Where else to go.
A decoration store.

Is there such a thing?
Yes, what did you get?

Um, poppers.
Taylor had nine left.

There's 10 of us,
So someone doesn't get to pop.

I'll pass on the pop.
And plates and cups and...

Chicks being hatched?
That's easter.

No, I know, but I figured
Hatching is birth,

So we're right on topic.

70% off, too.
What else?

New year's eve balloons
With father time

And the new year's baby
On them.

We'll cheat the old-man side
To the wall so we can't see it,

And then change the word "Year"
So it says "Happy new baby."

Oh, that's just sad.

Hey, what's
With the attitude?
There's no attitude.

You've been anne sexton
Since I pulled up.

I think I just slept
A little funny.

Let's get up in there while
We still have the chance.

Look out!
Coming through!

It's happening.

Oh, my god,
It's happening?

You mean it's "Happening"
Happening?

It's coming around
The mountain.
I can't watch this!

Go get her suitcase.
It's by the door.

I'll grab her suitcase!
Oh, I'm freaking out rory.

She's a traditionalist.

When she has a baby,

She's gonna be in the waiting
Room pacing and smoking.

We should have thrown
The baby shower earlier.

I wouldn't have
Had to watch this.

You were gonna
Throw me a shower?

We were gonna set it up
During your nap.

Want a boost?
Oh, I can make it.

Oh, god.
Watch it.

I just don't want to see what's
Coming around the mountain.

We'll see you guys
At the hospital?
You'll see me.

Yeah, I have to go back
To yale.

Plus, she's thoroughly sickened
By what's happening to you.

I'm not sickened.
It's finals time. I'm stressed.

Oooh, contraction!

That's sickening.

Lorelai: I'm sorry
You didn't get your party.

Blame little name-to-come.
We'll see you there.

See you there.
Mm-hmm.

You are going to open
Your eyes

When you drive back
To yale, right?

Yes, I'm just giving them
A 5-minute head start.

We're taking the same road.
Good thinking, honey.

Bye.
Bye.

[ laughs ]

I know he wants the bone,

I know there's gonna be a
Complication getting the bone,

But "Marmaduke" still
Cracks me up every time.

Refills are still free,
Right?

Yeah, they're still free.

[ telephone rings ]

Luke's.

Luke, it's taylor.

Oh, hey, taylor.
How's it going?

Not so well --
I mean, for you.

It's going very well
For me.

I just had a group
Of german tourists come in,

And they've been shoveling it in
Since they sat down.

What do you mean
It's not going well for me?

It's the twickum house.

Someone's put in
A competing offer.

A competing --

Taylor, you promised
That house to me.

And I did all that I could,

But this other offer
Includes

A substantial down payment
In cash.

The powers-that-be
Are seriously considering

Selling the house to this
Fellow townsman of yours.

I'll up my offer.

This guy will just up his, then.
He's got vast resources.

How many resources can he have?
He's living in stars hollow.

Luke, he's willing to put down
$250,000.

What?
That can't be right.

That's what it is.

I know everyone
In this stinking town.

What fellow townsman
Has $250,000 in cash?

I'm not sure
I'm at liberty to say.

Tell me, taylor.
Okay.

Say that name again.

I'll talk to you later.

"Sally forth" is on fire today.
On fire!

Where did you get $250,000?

What?
I don't have $250,000.

You don't?

No, just shy.
It's $247,868.

67, if I get a couple donuts
To go.

Those chocolate-raised
Are calling my name.

Where the hell did you get
That much money?

I've been working
For 11 years, luke.

I've had 15,000 jobs.

I've saved every dollar
I ever made.

That and the miracle
Of compound interest

Has created a bounty
Of $250,000.

Again, just under --
I don't want to brag.

You put a competing offer in
On the twickum house?

That's right -- it's a perfect
Place for me and lulu.

You know I have an offer
On that house?

I've heard talk
To that effect.

Take it back.
Take back the offer.

No, you take yours back.

I had a deal with taylor

Before you even knew
That house was available.

You get it in writing?
No, but --

An oral agreement's only as good
As the paper it's written on.

Hey, that would be a good line
For dennis the menace

After he fails to mow
Mr. Wilson's lawn.

I should send that in.

You are not getting
That house.

Au contraire, my friend.

I happen to know that your
Credit's not exactly stellar.

My credit?

Granted, you've got some
Real estate holdings,

But your cash flow's been flat
For three years.

And unless you're willing
To sell off assets,

You may be able to swing no more
Than a 5% down payment,

Which makes you
A real-estate risk.

How do you know the state
Of my assets?

That's the power
Of deep pockets, luke.

Put a sawbuck
In the right hands,

And they babble
Like parrots.

I am one of stars hollow bank's
Oldest customers.

I'm not anticipating
Any problems.

Well, I'm stars hollow bank's
Biggest customer.

I think that means more.
I don't believe this.

You're swimming in cash,

And you fought me over
A 10-cent raise on toast.

And you folded
Like a road map.

It might explain the discrepancy
In our net worths.

So I think I will have
Those donuts to go.

You've got change
For $100, right?

Das is good, ya?

I want to talk
To the town elders.

You keep talking
About the powers-that-be.

That's the town elders,
Right?
Yes.

They oversee the town assets,
The real estate.

I want to see them.
They won't go for that.

Why?
It isn't how it's done.

They don't deal
With the public.

They're the final arbiters.
What they say goes.

I'm seeing them.

But --
Arrange it.

[ bells ring ]

You breathing, honey?
I'm breathing.

Hey, was that andy dick
Out in the hallway?

No, honey.
This happened last time.

You go into labor, you start
Thinking you see famous people.

Right, suddenly my midwife
Was wolf blitzer.

Hey, you need me
To unpack you?

You probably
Don't have to.

We have everything she needs
All set up.

We guys always pack
A suitcase -- useless.

So, you been thinking
About names?

I'm leaning towards "Ethan"
For a boy

Or "Glenda" if it's a girl.

Although I like "Martha," too,
And "Rupert" for a boy.

They're all good,
Sweetie.

Whatever we don't use, we save
For the next one, right?

Right, right.
The next one.

Will you stay with her?

I got to call
My mulch delivery guys

And let them know
What's happening.

You comfortable?

I am, penelope cruz.

[ laughter ]

Really?
You're eating an apple?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll put it away.

No, eat. I'm just surprised.
It's not your thing.

We were by a vending machine
Checking you in,

It was there,
And it looked good.

It does look good.
It looks like ben stiller!

Hmm.

Um, hey, sookie,
Um, when did you know for sure?

About what?

That you were pregnant --
How could you tell?

Don't you remember?
Norman mailer.

Right, right,
Norman mailer.

I wonder how norman is.

I had a dream about him
The other night.

He was yelling at someone
To shut up and read joyce.

But how soon was
The norman mailer moment

After you and jackson
Conceived?

Wow, uh, well, I don't know.
A few weeks.

It was weeks?

I think.

You didn't know before?
Not a feeling or anything?

You've had one before.
Don't you remember?

Yeah, it's been a while.

Why are you asking?
Oh, I don't know.

Being in a maternity ward
Makes me wonder about things.

I'm going to see
How far along she is.

We'll be a couple minutes.
Oh, sure.

She looks like marlo thomas.

See, it's not just me.

Dr. Forest, dial 112.

Dr. Forest,
Please dial 112.

Ooh, excuse me, doctor.
Yes?

You're not off to save a life,
Are you?

Not at the moment.

Just a quick question.

Pregnancy tests -- what's
The deal with them now?

I haven't taken one
In a couple decades,

And I was wondering
If they work any differently.

They're more accurate now,
But the process is similar.

Okay, so let's say you do it --
Have sex, you know.

How soon after
Can a test tell you anything?

At least two weeks.
Not two days?

It won't be definitive
After just two days.

Boy, the sword of damocles
Is really hovering over you

For a couple weeks
There, huh?

Pretty much.

Home tests can be tricky.

Can't buy one
Where I live

Because people
Would see and talk.

It's a small town.

And even afterward,

The garbage man could see
The box in the trash and blab.

And, you know,
I like my garbage man,

But, again, it's a small town --
It's not your problem.

So there's no machine?
Machine?

Yeah, a machine
You could stick me in.

You know, you're putting
Pig vessels in people.

Isn't there a machine
That could tell me right away,

Away from the prying eyes
Of the garbage man?

You really need to wait and take
The test at the proper time.

Okay, see,
I'm eating an apple.

Normally, this would not be a
Sign of anything except hunger,

Except I don't eat
Much fruit.

I know I should, but I don't
Have a hankering for it.

I had it when I was pregnant
With my first kid, though.

Kept craving those apples,

And this morning, boy,
Was I craving an apple.

Well, that could be a sign.

It could?
Or not.

[ sighs ]

Okay, you're nice,
You're sweet,

And I've taken up too much
Of your time.

Thank you.
Okay.

[ cellphone rings ]

Paging dr. Stateman.
Dr. Stateman, please.

[ groans ] Hello.

Lorelai, it's your mother.
I just have a quick question.

Okay.
Well, I got my ballerina.

Oh, which one?
Sashanka?

No, I waited too long.

Mitsie hertferdshire
Scooped her up.

It's okay because sashanka
Tore a ligament last year

And is probably washed up.

I got pola.

Oh, pola.

Blond hair, bullet body,
So petite,

But thighs that could break
Concrete.
Sounds good.

They delivered her
This morning,

And, I have to tell you,
It's been so much fun.

She speaks this charming
Broken english,

And everything is so new
And fresh to her.

I'm glad.
So, what's up?

Pola wandered into your room
Looking for the bathroom.

She really doesn't know
Left from right.

And she found that old toy
Of yours -- the magic 8 ball.

I can't believe
That's still there.

And she is mesmerized
By it.

She's been playing with it
Ever since, asking it questions.

She won't put it down,

And I was just wondering
If I can let her keep it.

Oh, sure.
It's practically glued
To her hand.

Whatever pola wants,
Pola gets.

Good.
Thank you.

[ russian accent ] It is "Yes"!
Yes, I'm gonna be rich!

I just want to hug
The stuffing out of her.

You'll meet her tomorrow night
At dinner.

I'm looking forward to it.
Bye, and thanks again.

Bye, mom.

[ sighs ]

[ dialing ]

[ cellphone rings ]

Hey, how's it going?

Oh, fine.
She's all checked in.

Breathing normally,
Contracting painfully.

The cursing should start
Any time now.

Good. I mean,
That was weird, wasn't it?

She was like, what,
A week and a half early?

Those little buggers tend to
Come when they want to come.

I can't get "Coming around
The mountain" out of my mind.

It's one of those phrases
Like "Drop it like it's hot"

That I really wish
I'd never heard.

Hey, um,
You're doing everything

You need to do
In that area, right?
What area?

Um, protection,

To prevent something from
Coming around the mountain?

I hope so.

Hope? This is not an area
Where hope is good enough.

I think I have it covered,
And that wasn't a euphemism.

Okay, "Think" is not
Good enough either.

What kind of birth control
Do you use?

Um, I'm in
The dining hall.

That was not my question.

People are like three feet
Away from me.

Listen, all I'm saying is,

You cannot leave it up
To the guy, okay?

They are not reliable.

I don't leave it
Up to the guy.

They get into this state,
You know? Primordial.

It's all exciting, but so is
Eating a gallon of pudding,

And believe me, you're going to
Regret that later.

I use that as an example because
I know you like pudding.

You've got to figure,
If he shoots, he scores.

Look around.

There are babies popping out
All over the place.

You're in a maternity ward.
You've got a skewed sample.

So you caught up
On the subject?

You've caught me up,
Society's caught me up,

The health channel on cable's
Caught me up,

Miss driscoll,
The sad spinster/gym teacher

At stars hollow high
Caught me up.

Right, like she would ever need
Birth control.

I'm caught up, honest.
Okay, good.

Mom, what's going on
With you?

Nothing.
Mom?

[ sighs ]
I might be pregnant.

Oh.

[ exhales sharply ]

So that' where this
Is coming from.

I blame mom -- she never
Sat me down for the talk.

And miss driscoll --
She had her chance, too.

All those pta meetings,
And all she ever talked
About was golf.

How did this happen?
I mean, if it's true.

Luke and I came home
From the magazine party.

We were a little loopy,
And it got...Primordial.

All roadblocks down.

I mean,
I am always beyond careful.

The last time I had
My roadblocks down
Was, I don't know,

Count how old you are to the day
And add nine months.

But that doesn't mean --

I just ate an apple.
Uh-oh.

Yeah, and I liked it.
Whoa!

My body is telling me
Something.

Maybe it's not telling you
What you think it is.

Maybe it's just telling you
To better comply

With the government's
Recommendations

For food and vegetable
Intake.

That's not just propaganda,
You know.
Maybe.

And...
What?

Well, would it be so horrible?
I mean, it's luke.

It is luke?

Yes, it's luke.

Well, you guys
Are so close,

It could be headed
Somewhere.

I know, but not right now, hon.
It's early for us.

I mean, my life is going
Really good.

It's the inn, and this new
Potential opportunity,

And...You know,
I just got rid of you.

It's the first time
In my life

I've gotten to feel like
A single, grown-up woman.

Now is just not
The right time.

Okay, well,
Maybe it's not true.

Yeah, maybe.

But what are you going to do
If it is?

[ sighs ] I could really use
My magic 8 ball about now.

I'm gonna let you go,
Hon.

Keep me posted.
Okay, bye.

[ sighs ]

I'm early?
A little.

It's about 10 after 12:00.

Your watch must be fast.

My wife probably set it ahead
To get me home earlier.

Never works.

It's 11:49.

Charmless, isn't it?
The room?

Needs plants.
I can get plants.

Ever been to the
Tribune offices, chicago?
No.

A cathedral.
Go, if you ever get the chance.

[ cellphone rings ]

Gonna get that?

I'm not done here.

You got 10 minutes.

I'm gonna stay here,
Catch up on e-mails,

Make everyone uncomfortable
That I beat them here.

That sounds good.

[ cellphone beeps ]

Hey, you.

It's a girl.

A girl!
Oh, good, we need a girl.

Why do we need a girl?
I don't know.

Aren't there enough guys
Walking around out there?

Well, it's a beautiful girl,
Name to come,

And sookie's fine,
Jackson's fine, everyone's fine.

14 hours of labor
Was the downside,

But sookie has the rest
Of her little girl's life

To get back at her.

I love the circle
Of life.

And there's more good news.
What?

It was a false alarm.
I'm not pregnant.

The crisis has passed.

Oh, mom, good.
I'm glad.

You're glad?

The sight of babies isn't
Freaking me out anymore.

I can enjoy
The maternity ward again.

So what was
With the apple?

I don't know, but I just had
A moonpie and a ding dong

And washed it down with an
Orange crush in the cafeteria.

So no desire
For anything nutritional.

Thank, god.
Oh, I'm glad, mom.

Yeah.

So, listen, how about we
Reschedule sookie's baby shower?

How?
It's too late.

No, we'll throw

A "Welcome to the earth,
Baby girl belleville" party.

Did you save the decorations?
Still in my car.

How about saturday morning?
That's when she gets home.

Come back with me after dinner.
We'll set it up at her house.

Sounds good.

Hey, um...

Did you ever mention
This pregnancy scare to luke?

Oh, my god, no.
Can you imagine?

"Luke,
You're gonna be a daddy."

Suddenly, there's nothing left
But a puff of smoke

And a baseball cap
Spinning on the floor.

Yeah, he never seemed much
Like a family guy.

This is for the best.

Listen,
I've got to get back.

We have a big staff meeting
In a few minutes,

And I want to make sure
Everything's set up and ready.

I'll see you tonight,
My one and only offspring.

Bye.

[ chuckles ] Bye.

[ cellphone beeps ]

Congratulations.

She's sound asleep.

I'm not so bright-eyed
Myself.

Before you go to sleep,
We should decide on a name.

I know.
Names are so hard.

But whatever name
We don't use now,

We just use
On the next one.

Yeah, you know,
We need to talk about that.

Sure.

I probably should have brought
It up sooner, sorry.

No problem.
What?

You're getting
A vasectomy.
What?

You're getting
A vasectomy.
[ laughs ]

You got me.
You got me.

You're funny.
Dark, but funny.

[ chuckles ]
I'm not joking, sweetie.

We're cutting that tube,
If it is a tube.

I'm not really up
On the procedure.

The doctor doing it will be,
Though, so he'll know.

You're not kidding.
I'm not kidding.

Sookie, come on.

Jackson, we have one of each.
We kept the species going.

But I wanted four.
And I wanted three.

This is a good compromise.

Two is not a compromise
Between three and four.

This is reggie.

He's going to take you down
And have it done.

I'm having it done today?
Yep.

They sent the big nurse.
Just in case.

Hey!

You get her back
Afterwards.

Now, it's just a quick
Outpatient procedure.

You go in, lie down,

Snip, snip,
And you're shooting blanks.

Is this all
I'm having done today,

Or do I need to get
Some glute implants?

[ chuckling ]
It's everything, I promise.

Kiss before you go.

Hey, I just thought
Of the perfect name.

First name -- martha.

Middle name --

Janice laurie ethan rupert
Glenda carson daisy danny.

You got them all in.

Now go get cut.

[ sighs ]

Paging dr. Stateman.
Dr. Stateman, please.

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi, mom.

Lorelai, come in, come in.

I want you to meet
My special guest.

I'm curious to meet her.

Oh, boy.

She sure looked different
In her picture.

This is mikhail.
Mikhail, my daughter, lorelai.

Hi.
[ russian accent ]
Hello.

What happened to pola?

Oh, that annoying little stick.
She drove me crazy.

There was something wrong
With her --

So flighty, so skinny.

She made no noise
When she walked, so you
Couldn't hear her coming.

I felt like I was being stalked
By an elf.

She had a mentality
Of a preschooler.

If she was sitting when
She laughed, she would
Clap her feet together.

Smoked like a fiend, too.
Uh-huh.

She kept playing with that
Obnoxious magic 8 ball of yours.

She'd ask it the same question
Over and over

Till she got the answer
She wanted.

I told her
That's not how it works.

You're supposed to accept
The first answer it gives you,

And that's that,
But, no, she kept going.

I wanted to stick the little
Twig in the garbage disposal.

So I exchanged her
For mikhail.

You can do that -- just trade
Her in for another human being?

I paid for her, lorelai,
And she wasn't what I wanted.

All right.

Isn't he stunning?

He's easy
On the eyes, yes.

You should see him
Stretch.

Do you want luminista
To take your bag?

No, I'm gonna keep this
With me.

There's something
I want to show you.

Oh, good.
Shall we go in the living room?

He's learning english,
So keep your words short.

Living room.

Yes, please.

What a value.

How interested are stamford
Residents in arts coverage

Of a city 40 miles away?

They're interested.

That just takes resources away
From covering local events --

That are less interesting
Than events taking place

In new york city.

If they're
That interesting,

We should send a couple
Of our own calendar staffers.

Freelancers are a pain
In the butt.

So, franz ferdinand
Comes to new york,

Forget freelancers,
You'll go cover it?

I didn't say that,
And who's he?

[ laughter ]
He's a band.

Watch it, fisher.

Even I knew that, sam.
Mitchum, please, arbitrate.

What, and spoil the fun?
No way.

It's your money.
Money well spent.

It's not your money,
Lucille.

Mitchum:
Look, keep the system as is.

We don't even have office space
For extra people,

Let alone the budget.

Go to universities --
Yale, wherever --

Get volunteers to pick up
What our staff can't cover.

I'll pick up some slack.

After you pick up
My dry cleaning, right?

I'll pick that up, too,

Good, harry, don't let him
Push you around.

Are we gonna end
This marathon before
We get to subscriptions?

Please say no.

Charlie's feeling
Neglected again.

Where are we with our
Sales department, charlie?

Abundant turnover.
We have to start paying more.
Oh!

That got the boss
Where it hurts.

It's minimum wage
Plus 20% commission?

And all the stale pastry
They can eat.

Up it to 30%.
Okay, now I'm in pain.

Crunch the numbers, lloyd,
And get them to me.

I never go behind the back
Of captain crunch.

Let's get together monday.

Let's all resume this monday.
Go home.

Meet your kids.
Feed your dogs.

Have a good one.

Good night.

That was fun.

Yeah, that's the way
Those things should go --

Give and take.

The less I say, the better.

Can I get you anything?

No, I'm about
To take off here.

Okay.

So, I'm going to be
Pulling back here soon.

From the paper?

I've done my damage.

It's time for them to take it
And make something of it.

Oh, okay.

I'll probably be in monday,
Maybe tuesday,

Then not so much
After that.

Well, I'm happy to keep going,
Even without you here.

You know, you and I haven't
Really sat down

And talked about the situation,
About how you're doing here.

Well, you've been busy.

I've meant to.

I offered you the job,
Took you under my wing --

It's part of the deal.

Great,
I'd love your feedback.

Go on and sit.

I've worked with a lot of young
People over the years --

Interns, new hires.

I've got a pretty good
Gut sense

For peoples' strengths
And weaknesses,

Whether they have
That certain something

To make it in journalism.

It's a tough business.
Lot of stress.

And I have to tell you...

You don't got it.

Now, guts can be wrong.
Mine's been wrong before.

But not often.

I thought
I was doing okay.

I just don't think
You really have the drive

To put yourself out there,
To be honest.

To get a story, to dig.

Just now, in this meeting,

I encouraged everyone
To say whatever they wanted.

You said nothing.

I wasn't sure if I should.

Exactly.

I mean, you saw harry.
He jumped right into the fire.

But harry's not an intern.

Doesn't matter.

I've always done
What's asked of me.

See, the thing is,
In the real world,

It's not always good enough
To do just what's asked of you.

I thought I was in a really good
Rhythm with everyone here.

I'm not saying
You're not competent.

You're smart. You're terrific
At anticipating needs.

Actually, you'd make
A great assistant.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

It's not my pleasure
To disappoint someone like you.

Especially you...

What, with the extenuating
Circumstances.

But it's healthy.
I don't know any other way.

I don't b.S.

I should get back.

Hey, listen,
I know this is rough,

But I may have just done you
A big favor.

Oh, okay.

Thanks.

* ooh-ah-ah

* ooh-ah-ah

* la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

* la-laa

* la-la-la-la-la-la-la

He had no contract.
He had nothing in writing.

Granted, his offer matched
The fair-market value

Of the property,

But it was a rigged-bid
Situation.

The house wasn't even
Officially listed for sale.

It wasn't a rigged bid,
Kirk.

That's for the courts
To decide.

Get to the point.

The house should be
Re-listed.

You should take the best offer
From the person

With the best chance
Of securing financing.

That person is me.

And, luke, what do you
Have to say to that?

What the hell are we doing
In a stream room?

I explained that if you wanted
To see the town elders,

You had to do it
On their terms.

This is ridiculous.
I can't think in here.

You should strip
And get in a towel.

I'm not getting
In a towel.

I think
He's got body issues.
I don't have body issues.

I just don't agree
With what's going on --

How it's going on.

I don't think it's appropriate
For the defendant

To address you
In this tone, is it?

I'm not the defendant, kirk.
This isn't a court.

It's not even a room.
It's a box full of hot air.

Now he's insulting you.

Listen, old guys,
I should get the house.

Watch your manners,
Young man.

I can get a loan.

But I have deep pockets.
Not now, I mean.

Right now I'm naked,
But my pants have pockets.

Who are you guys, anyway?

What gives you the authority
To make town decisions?

Luke, this isn't helping.

He's a hothead with body issues
And shallow pockets.

This isn't right.
Taylor and I had an agreement.

He needs therapy
And probably pills.

Luke should get the house.

What?
What?

It's the right thing
To do.

Kirk may have a better claim,
Technically,

But luke wants it more.
But --

I knew luke's father,
His grandfather.

We all did.

He'll care for the house

Because he cares
So much about it.

He wants it
For him and lorelai.

For me and --

Did you?

We all watched luke
Pine for lorelai

For nine long years.

He waited for her

While she went through
Her many relationships.

He won her.

Now he wants this for her
And for the others.

Others?
What others?

You'll bring children
Into the house.

I'll bring children
Into the house, too.

Maybe not my own.

It's right for luke
To have it.

Kirk is young.

There'll be other places
For him to go.

That's what I think.
Well, I agree.

Me, too.
Luke should get the house.

Rip!

Thank you.
Thank you, sir.

Luke, it's a big yard
You'll have there --

A lot of lawn.

I was wondering
If we could talk

About my rendering
Gardening services.

I have tools.

Syrustey.

Syrustey.

Fantastic.

And where is your town --
Syrustey?

Just outside moscow.

It sounds wonderful.

Our people die
Very young there.

Oh, well, that doesn't sound
So good.

What's in the bag?
Hmm?

You've been clutching
That bag all night.

What's in it?
She's got mystery bag.

A mystery bag -- yes!
What's in the mystery bag?

Oh, well, um,
This is my cover story.

It thought it wasn't coming out
For two weeks.

Let me see that.

Okay.

Lorelai owns an inn.

What would you call it,
Maybe a dacha?

Dacha, yes.

This is it.
Oh, fantastic.

Thank you.

Great dacha, this dacha!

Are there other pictures
With the article?

Uh-huh,
Go ahead and read it.

We have time before dinner,
Right?

We can't start dinner
Until rory gets here.

You're going to love
My granddaughter.

You'll just want to pick her up
And throw her in the air.

Give one to mikhail.
It's how he's learning english.

Got plenty to go around.

Oh, gorgeous!

Yes.

It's a rave.

We got lucky.

I'll be right back.
[ chuckles ]

Where are you going?

Oh, I'll just be right back.
Sit, mikhail.

I didn't mean that as a command.
But, please, have a seat.

I'll just --
I'm gonna...

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god!

Lorelai?
Lorelai, are you in there?

No.

[ door handle rattles ]

Come out of there.
No.

[ rattling continues ]

This is pathetic!

I know.

The things you say in this.
I know.

Calling me pol pot.

Mom, it was meant
As a joke --

The pol pot,
The walking anthrax.

I was just being edgy,
Like chris rock.

Walking anthrax?!

You haven't gotten
To that part yet?
No!

Well, something
To look forward to.

I'm not going to continue
Talking through the door.

Look, I was mad at you when
I did the interview, okay?

And I said things,
But I didn't mean them.

It just happened.

And I'm not used to talking
To reporters,

And I didn't know about
The whole off-the-record,
On-the-record thing,

But I know now, and I'm
Really sorry it happened.

I did not force jimmy carter out
Of his room at that hotel.

See, now, that I thought was
Just an amusing anecdote.

I did not get into
A "Bitch fight" with him.

He's an ex-president!

He was with
That insufferable rosalynn.

Again, mom, I am really,
Really sorry,

And, unless
You forgive me,

I am going to camp out in here,
Possibly forever.

M-mom, just don't tell
Your friends about the article

So they won't read it.

And the ones who do,
Just tell them I was misquoted.

And I would recommend

That you stop reading
The article right now

And just look
At the pictures.

The pictures
Are really pretty.

If you are applying explosives
To the door,

Please tell me,
So I can step away.

I'll stop reading.

And we won't talk about it
Again, ever.

Fine. Come out.

Let's go back
To the living room.

Thank you, mom.

[ angrily ]
Goodbye, mrs. Gilmore.

Mikhail,
Where are you going?

I must leave.

Leave? Why?
Mikhail?

Mikhail?

Hey!
You're here early.

I guess.

Way early.
Did you skip your dinner?

Come down here,
So we don't have to yell.

I'm sorry.

So, there she is.

Who?
The boat.

Calling him "She" is one
Of those nautical traditions.

Right, something sexist
In that, I'm sure.

I'm sure.

So, how'd you get away?

I don't know.
I just got away.

I'm glad.

So, who's she?

Who?
The girl on the boat.

Okay, I'm sorry.
We were calling the boat a she.

She's a friend
Of my sister's.

Well, I didn't mean
To interrupt anything.

You weren't interrupting
Anything.

Looked like I was.
I've known her forever.

Well, I didn't mean
To pull you away.

We were just talking --
Me, her, and her husband.

If you want, I can have them
Pull out pictures

Of their 2-year-old.

Ben has them
In his jacket party.

Do you even want me here?

Ace, I invited you here.

Right, on a friday night,
When you knew I couldn't come.

It's my sister's party.
I didn't pick the night.

[ loudly ]
Traffic sucked getting here.

Sorry, but I can't do anything
About the traffic, either.

Can we just, um...

What the hell's wrong
With you?

Nothing.
I'm just in a weird mood.

I'll say.

I'm sorry, I just --
Can we go somewhere else?

What?
Let's go somewhere else.

I don't really feel like
Being around people.

Okay, name it.
Will your sister mind?

I've been here an hour and
A half, and my duty's done.

Where do you want to go?
I don't know.

Somewhere...Far...
Out there.

Where?

Out to sea.
Out to sea?

Let's take that fancy-pantsy
Yacht of yours for a spin.

Tricky, since
It's about the head out

With all my sister's friends
On it.

Oh, well, don't you have
Another one?

Not here.
Where's the other one?

Far away. Let's just drive
Somewhere -- to new york.

I don't want to drive.

I want to be out there,
Just the two of us, alone.

Well...

You know the beginning
Of "Moby dick,"

When the narrator says

That when he finds himself
"Growing grim about the mouth"

And wanting to knock
Peoples' hats off,
He takes to the sea?

Yeah.

Well, I feel like knocking
Peoples' hats off.

So I guess we got to take
To the sea.

That one looks good.

Yeah?

Nice and seaworthy.

Not ours to take.

That ever stopped you
Before?

I think I've been a bad
Influence on you, ace.

Let's go, huntzberger.

Let's go.

See, I was mad at mom,
Mrs. Gilmore here, at the time,

And I ended up saying things
I shouldn't have said,

Because, you see,
Normally,

I-I don't make jokes
About joseph stalin.

They're inappropriate.

I just said it in jest to this
Writer, and she printed it.

I mean,
She's not joseph stalin,

And, not that this
Is any excuse,

But there's no way I could have
Known that a russian man,

Whose entire family and their
Village was killed by stalin,

Would be reading this
In front of me.

I mean, there's just no way.

She has this off-putting sense
Of humor, mikhail.

You'd know that if you spent
Time with her.

Yes, you would.
You would know that.

Yes.

Joseph stalin was a monster.
Please stay.

You just caught us
On a bad day.

All right.

[ cellphone rings ]

This must be rory.

Hello.
Rory: mom.

Hey, when are you getting here?
I really want you here.

You need to come
And get me.

Where are you?