All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E17 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Ribbons here!
Return your ribbons here!

That's right, folks.

Thank you, sir.

Right in the box, ma'am.

Ribbons here!
Return your ribbons here!

Kirk, stop that.

Can't stop.
Haven't got them all yet.

I mean it.
Put the box away.

Luke, you and lorelai
Have reconciled.

I know, kirk, I was there.

And since you two
Have reconciled,

It's only appropriate

That the citizens
Of stars hollow

Take off their pins
And start to heal --

In my case, literally.

I caught about
An inch of chest flesh

With this sharp
Little sucker.

Kirk --

Lulu, hey!

No, kirk!
I like my ribbon!

It's pink!
I like pink!

This is bigger
Than your love of pink!

No!

Lulu!

Lulu, get back here!

Lulu!

Wow, did you see that?

If someone opened up
A store here

Selling nothing
But giant butterfly nets,

They'd make a fortune.

Come on, the crazy
Need love, too.

Speaking of which,
Welcome back.

Nice to be here.

Want some coffee?

Say that again slower
And with your pants off.

What's that?
My pretty, pretty face.

It's a weston's coffee cup.

You bring
An enemy coffee cup

In here on the day
Of our reconciliation.

At least I didn't ask you
For a favor

On the day
Of your daughter's wedding.

Get that coffee out of here.

This is not coffee.

This is a mocha-chocolate-
Caramel swirlaccino

With extra whipped cream.

Sounds disgusting.

It is, and if
It was physically possibly

To make love to a hot beverage,
This would be the one.

So apparently,
I've got competition.

No, no, no,
It's just a fling.

I'll spend the night
With it, but when I see it

In the morning
With the caramel unswirled

And the whipped cream
Unwhipped --

Hah! -- bye-bye.

[ panting ]

Man, that was hard.

She must have
Stretched first.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Judging from the snores,

I'm guessing
You love the theater.

It was not a painful play.

Any play is a painful play
For me.

That's too bad, because
You're gonna miss out

On some wonderful things.

Yeah, like what?

My mom took me to see
"Caroline, or change" --

Tony kushner's musical --
And it was amazing.

Tony kushner wrote
"Angels in america."

I know who tony kushner is.

So you've seen his plays?

No, my mom
Plays canasta with him

Every month he's in town.

Tony kushner plays canasta
With your mother?

Badly, but yes.

You have a magical life,
And you don't even know it.

So, where to next?

I don't know.
Mah-jongg with mamet.

How's ice cream sound?
Great.

Then ice cream it is.

Logan, where are we going?
Slow down.

You slow down, you die here.

You go too fast in heels,
And you kind of die also.

What are we doing?

We're getting ice cream.

But the dining hall's closed.
We're breaking in.

That's a very negative way
To look at it.

Why do you have a key
To the dining hall?

I know a lot
Of very powerful locksmiths.

What happens if we get caught?
Could we get suspended?

They can't kick you out
Of school for this, can they?

Hey, relax, look around.

For tonight,
This is all yours.

It is kind of cool.

Wait till you see
The kitchen.

I've never seen the cereal
Station completely full before.

I'm never here early enough.

I knew
They had cocoa puffs.

Then go crazy, ace.

No, we're getting
Ice cream.

There's no rule that says

You can't have ice cream
And cereal.

First cocoa puffs of the day.

This is a historical moment.

[ chuckling ]
Okay, next stop, ice cream.

What are you doing?

I'm looking
For the swipe machine,

So I can deduct points
From my meal plan.

You're kidding, right?
Well, the school pays
For the food.

With all the money my family
Has donated to this school,

They can afford to be
Out of a few cocoa puffs.

This is fun.

You're an easy girl
To please.

Let's hit the kitchen.

Hmm.

Ace, come on.

I'm coming.

Oh, okay, thanks.
That's enough there.

Just make sure
You get the stairs now.

Oh, no, those go outside.
Inocencio will take care of you.

Oh, what a surprise --

A plate of cookies
On the coffee table

To match the basket of cupcakes
On the reception desk.

What? I always do this.

No, you always do this
When a photographer

From american travel magazine

Is coming to photograph us
For...

Together: one of the top 10 inns
In connecticut.

I have no idea
What you're talking about.

You know,
I moved the furniture

In the bedrooms around
Four times last night.

And you ended up?

With everything in exactly
The same place I started with.

Oh, the dining room
Looks beautiful.

Thank you.

And what a surprise --
A cake on every table.

So no one has to share.

Okay, floor looks good,
Table looks good.

Hey, what happened
To our books?

What do you mean?

All our beautiful
Leather-bound books --

Jonathan swift, edith wharton,
Charles dickens.

A lot of them are gone.

The guests
Must have swiped them.

They swiped jonathan swift

And left me with
"Clifford the big red dog"

And five copies of
"He's just not that into you"?

You've been airplane-booked.

Oh, we got to
Get them out of here.

Hey, eddie, will you
Get these out of here?

I'll raid rory's leftovers
Tonight.

There everybody is.

Who missed michel?

Hah. Trick question.

How was california?

Oh, you know,
It is insanity.

What is different
About me?

You're wearing sunglasses
Inside?

They are not sunglasses.
They are eyewear.

Everyone in los angeles wears
Pairs and pairs of eyewear.

Well, you look great.

Oh, I tell you,
I belong out there.

Everybody is thin
And gorgeous.

Oh, there's this place
On sunset boulevard --

Coffee bean & tea leaf --

And everybody there
Talks exactly like me.

Wow.

I got botox.

Dr. Rue -- she's a genius.
Everyone goes there.

And look, I got them done

By the same guy
Who does nick lachey.

Okay, gather around.
I brought gifts.

Gifts? Great.

Ah, the shopping out there --
Unbelievable.

Rodeo drive --
Dig a hole and drop me in,

Even if I'm not dead yet.

Okay,
For you and for you.

Oh!

Huh?

It's a smog globe.
[ chuckles ]

They are so funny
In california.

Well, what do you know?

"He's just not
That into you."

I heard it's a fabulous book
And so true.

I haven't told you
The most amazing part yet.

You got your boobs
Done by the guy who
Did pamela anderson?

No, though I did meet him
At the coffee bean.

I was at this place
Called the farmers market,

And I was just sitting there
Minding anybody's business,

And a man came up to me
And asked if I would like

To be a contestant
On "The price is right."

[ gasps ]
You're kidding?

I was so stunned.

I mean, I never considered
Being on a game show,

But I was finished
With my bo bo tea,

So I figured, "Why not?"

They just asked
You to be on?
Yes.

Jackson's cousin monty
Did "The price is right,"

And the contestants had to
Get up at the crack of dawn,

Stand in line for hours
With hundreds of tourists,

And then show
How enthusiastic

A contestant
They would be --

Jumping up and down,
Screaming, and yelling.

You don't say?

And they had to wear
Embarrassing t-shirts

That said things like, "Pick me,
Bob, I neutered my dog."

And they spent weeks
Studying the price

Of turtle wax
And hamburger helper.

Okay, fine,
I may have jumped a little,

But I did not
Wear a t-shirt.

What would nick lachey's
Teeth guy say?

Make fun if you want,
But I walked away

The winner of over $100,000
Of cash and prizes.

Then what's with
The cheap gifts?

That's not even
That smoggy.

Why do I talk to you?
Why?

I'm gonna run over to luke's
And grab some dinner.

And then I will be back
To finish the setup.

Got it.

[ sighs ]

If you put it in the box
Like I told you to,

I wouldn't have had
To follow you in.

Here's your fries.
Mmm, good.

Where's the rest
Of your burger?
I ate it.

I was gone
Two seconds.
Ketchup, please?

By the time I get the ketchup,
The fries will be gone.

You're right,
Forget the ketchup.

Slow down.
I can't slow down.

I only have 15 minutes.
You're gonna
Make yourself sick.

Yes, but my sickness
Will remind me of you,

So it'll be romantic.

Romantic nausea.

I get that all the time.

Hit me with the pie.

What pie?
The boysenberry pie.

We're out of
Boysenberry pie.

How can you be out?

Someone ordered
The last piece.

But I asked you to save me
A piece of boysenberry pie.

Uh, no, you didn't.
Uh, yes, I did.

When?
I left you a message.

I never got a message.

I left it
On your cell phone.

Oh, is that what
That annoying beeping sound was?

Yes, it was telling you

Your girlfriend asked you
To save her some pie.

I don't know
How to use the voice mail

Or anything else
On this stupid thing.

I know how to make a call
And answer a call.

Give me that.

You've got to learn
How to use this thing,

Because it is very powerful
And wonderful,

And it could
Change your life.

What are you doing?

I am putting my number
On speed dial

So all you have to do
Is hit 1, see,

'cause, like,
I'm number 1.

[ cell phone rings ]

Oh! I wonder
Who that could be.

Hello?
Give me.

No cell phones
In the diner.

Oh, see, wasn't that fun?
Totally.

Want me to put it
On "Vibrate" for you?

Your 15 minutes are up.

Oh, crap, I got to go.
Take a doughnut.

So, then, sunday?
Pick you up at 8:00.

I'll leave you a message,

Letting you know your chances
Of getting lucky.

Hey, kirk, how's the ribbon
Collecting coming?

I think we're near
The finish line.

Who's winning?
Hey, this isn't
A contest.

I don't care
Who's winning.

Then you won't care
If it's me.
Of course it's you.

You're the one that makes

The costumes
For the christmas pageant,

The ornaments
For the firelight festival.

You go to the town meetings.

You have a daughter
That looks like

She belongs on top
Of a christmas tree.

That gets you
Tons of points.

There's no way
To compete with that.

Kirk?
You're kicking his ass.

Yes!
This isn't a contest.

No, not now it isn't.

Kirk, I want a final tally,
Because the ribbon loser

Is buying the ribbon winner
Dinner sunday night.

Loser pays?
When did we agree on that?

Oh, gee, I must have left that
On your voice mail, too.

[ sighs ]

[ door opens, closes ]

[ cell phone rings ]

Hey, mom.

How would you feel
About shopping tomorrow?

Hurt, confused,
A little dirty.

I need to get a new dress

For my "Back together
With luke" date.

Oh, where do you want to go?

The place where you got
The scarf with the bows on it.

Oh, yes, cute place.

I want to go
To the cute place.

10:00?
I'll be the one
Holding coffee.

So, what are you
Doing tonight?

Mom!
What?
Are you driving?

Sounds like
You're driving.
I am driving.

You are?
Where you going?
You know
Where I'm going, mom.

Disneyland?
Puppy world?

You're so immature.
You're gonna make me say it?

I am on my way
To friday-night dinner.

Ah-ha-ha, that's right.

You're on the road
To hellville.
Do not gloat.

I'm not gloating.
I'm gloating with hand gestures.

And a little soft-shoe.

Listen, enjoy
Your glazed woodcock

With a side
Of truffled goose head.

Oh, what a shame.
I'm here.
You are not.

Oh, rory, wait, I'm gloating
With jazz hands.

Bye, mom.

Finish up, kirk.
I'm closing up early.

You're going to see lorelai
Tonight, aren't you?

Actually, no.
She's working.

I'm gonna see her
Sunday night.

That sounds nice.

You guys probably spend
A lot of time together.

Yes, we do.

And you probably sleep over
At each other's houses.

Cookies are on the house,
Kirk.

Just go, okay?

Lulu's my first
Real girlfriend.

I had an imaginary girlfriend

For a while when I was young,
But she left me.

Well, that happens.

I wish lulu and I could have
What you and lorelai have.

You can have that, kirk.
You will have it.

Why don't you leave
And go have it right now.

I live with my mother.

Apparently, I'm officially
In this conversation.

My mother is allergic
To lulu.

The minute lulu
Comes in the room,

Mother will cough
And choke and turn red.

Her throat closes up.
Everything gets puffy.

Lulu's tried everything.

She changed her soap,
Her perfume,

Shampoo, cream rinse,
Deodorant.

She's actually
Kind of a mess right now,

But nothing seems to work.

Obviously,
I can't have mother

Choking three times a week,

So I considered constructing
A separate entrance to my room

So that lulu won't actually
Have to walk through the house,

But that's gonna cost
About $40,000

'cause I'd have to break through
A bearing wall, and --

Kirk, stop.
This is ridiculous.

You're a grown man.

You've got to change
Your living situation.

My mother won't move out.

Not your mother.
I'm talking about you.

Me?
Yes, you.

Get a life, some independence.
Get out of there.

You want to have a real
Relationship with lulu?
Yes.

Then grow up, be a man.

I'm not sure I understand
What you're saying to me.

Well, kirk, I have given you
The lincoln logs.

You have to build the cabin.

Lock the door behind you.

You're not talking about
A real cabin, are you?

'cause if a new entrance
Is gonna cost 40 grand,

Then a cabin's
Got to be more.

Night, kirk.

[ doorbell rings ]

Emily, they're here!

Hurry, please.

Oh, my goodness, the bag
Is bigger than you are.

I brought you some recent issues
Of the yale daily news.

We've been doing some really
Good articles lately.

And some with a by-line I might
Be familiar with, I hope.

I believe that, yes,

You'll find some highlighted
Sections in your hymnals.

Then hand the bag over,
My dear.

Sorry to keep
Everyone waiting.

Luckily,
We had plenty to read.

Hello, rory.
Hello, grandma.

Let's go in the living room,
Shall we?

Excellent idea.

Olympia:
Pardon me, mrs. Gilmore.

Shall I put the salads out now,
Ma'am?

We haven't had drinks yet,
Olympia.

I wrote it all down

On the refrigerator pad
For you, olympia.

Is someone else
Coming for dinner?

Someone else?
No, it's just gonna be us.

"Us," meaning, just the three
Of us here, right?

I mean, you know
Mom's not coming?

Oh, well, actually --

Of course we know
Your mother's not coming.

The maid made a mistake.

Olympia, it was three
For dinner, not four.

Well, she's fired.

Clear that place
At once, please.

Richard, take rory
To the living room.

I'll just do it myself.

All right.

Now, I had olympia write out
The reheating instructions

For the goose,
And they work.

I had her test it
During dessert.

Thank you, grandma.

I also put some harry and david
Fruit in there.

You can eat the pears
With a spoon.

I'll remember that.
Bye, grandpa. Bye, grandma.

Bye. Bye.

Bye, rory.

Well, that was
A pleasant evening.

Really?
What dinner were you at?

Well, we weren't exactly sure
She was coming, emily.

I was sure.
I don't understand it.

Why wasn't she here?

I'm guessing
She had something to do.

Something to do?

What does that mean --
"Something to do"?

It means she had
A previous engagement

Or a meeting,
A dinner perhaps.

I know what "Something to do"
Means, richard.

My apologies, emily.

It doesn't make
Any sense at all.

I went down there.
I arranged the whole thing.

She got her filthy
Diner owner back.

What is the problem?
I don't know.

Lorelai is as much of a mystery
To me as she is to you.

I made a whole goose
For three people.

Do you think it's possible

That they didn't
Get back together?

What?
Perhaps it didn't happen.

Maybe he didn't understand
What you were telling him to do.

How could he not understand?

I spelled it out for him,
Step by step.

I spoke clearly and slowly.

There's no way
He didn't understand

What I was telling him
To do.

All right,
Then perhaps he understood

But he simply didn't do it.

He's not the most take-charge
Sort of fellow, you know.

He never did follow through

On my advice
To franchise his diner.

Oh, my god, you're right.
He didn't do it.

He didn't go to her
Like I specifically told him to.

What an imbecile
That man is!

You gave it your best effort.
No one can say you didn't.

I just don't believe it.
Don't worry, emily.

I'm sure
She'll come around eventually.

And then at least we won't
Have to deal with them

As a couple.

Here, let me freshen up
Your drink.

[ sighs ]

If I still want that sweater
In 20 minutes,

I'm coming back to get it.

Okay, wait,
What is wrong with this picture?

Huh?

Look at you --
An armful of bags

And a potential
20-minute sweater on the way.

Look at me --
Completely bagless.

Relax,
The day is still young.

There are no more clothes
Out there for me.

The lorelai look is over.
I wish someone had told me.

See, that's what I want.
Come on, let's follow her.

I'm not following that girl.

But she knows
Where my stores are,

And she looks about my size,

So if she happens
To have an aneurysm

Between now
And tomorrow night -- what?

Oh, my god.
Is that logan?

It is logan. I can't believe it.
What a jerk.

Mom, it's okay.
No, it's not okay.

He's sitting over there
With a girl.

Oh, no, you don't.
Get me a rock.

I am beaning him
With a rock.

Mom, stop, it's fine.
How is it fine?

I'm sorry, aren't you
Still seeing him?
Well, yeah.

Okay, so if
You're still seeing him

And he's over there seeing her,
How is that okay?

Because we're
Keeping things casual.
Casual?

We see each other,
We see other people,

And that's him
Seeing other people.

So it's fine.
We both agreed.

Okay, if you both agreed,
Then okay.

But aren't you guys
Sleeping together?

Mom, it's college.

Oh, right, it's college.

We're both busy.
We have class, we have friends.

You know, it's good to just
Keep things cas',

Have fun, that's it.

Fun? Sure, I get it.
Friends with benefits.

No problem.
I watch oprah.

[ sighs ]

Okay, so, are you sure
You're cool with this?

I'm completely cool
With this.

Okay, 'cause
It just really --

Mom, look over there.
The lorelai look is back.

It's in velvet.

So, hal,
What do you think?

Living-room/reception area
Might be a nice place to start.

I really need to shoot
The exteriors first.

We're about
To lose the light.

Oh, great idea.
We are proud of our exteriors.

Why don't I get michel
To show you outside

And help you set up.

Michel: no,
This is unacceptable.

Put your supervisor
On the phone now.

Now. Right now!

Hey, everything okay,
Michel?

Yes, everything is fine.
Lots of sunshine.

I'll be right with you.

I insist you do
Something about this

Before I go out and find a stick
And make it pointy

And come and find your cubicle
And poke you very hard.

Tell you what, why don't
I just show you outside myself?

Okay.

Man: copy!

Copy.

That's a look
Of great determination.

Yes, I'm determined
To finish this piece

Before my caffeine buzz
Wears off,

And I have
About 30 seconds left.

So?

So?

Did I see you
On state street with --
Yeah.

Right, so you saw me
On state street with --
Yep.

So?

So?

Are we still good?

Absolutely.

Really?

Logan, we both agreed,
No strings attached.

Remember?
I remember.

I was just checking to see
How well you remember.

I remember perfectly.

Okay, that's good to hear.
So?

We're not gonna do
The "So" thing again, are we?

No, promise, no more "Sos."
Would you take an "Um"?

Where's it leading?

Um, do you feel like
Grabbing a cup of coffee?

Do you have the master key
To a starbucks?

Nah, just thought
We'd walk in and pay.

Wow, old-school.
Sure, let's go.

Okay, let's go.

Yeah, there -- right there.
How's it looking, hal?

I think we're good
With the flowers.

Let's start clearing everyone
Out of there.

How's it going?

I think we're getting ready
To shoot.

What are you doing?

Just in case he doesn't
Have time to get the kitchen,

People will get
To see the food.

You're insane.
Okay, we're ready.

Well, try something else!
I don't care! Just stop it!

Block it with your body --
Tiananmen square -- be a hero.

Michel, what's wrong?

I will tell you what's wrong.

Ned the bellman is wrong.
He's useless.

I gave him
Specific instructions,

And he ignored them.

What the hell is that?

No, no, no, no,
Do not drive that here!

It was not supposed to arrive
For two more days.

Seriously, what is that?

My over $100,000 in cash
And prizes.

That's what you won?

That and many boxes of some sort
Of instant-rice dish

That I have yet to feel
A need to sample.

[ coughs ]

Are you michel gerard?

I'm pleased to present you
With your motor home.

Step on inside, and I'll
Show you how everything works.

I don't want to know
How it works.

Michel, I don't understand.

After I won this monstrosity,
I told them I do not want it.

I wanted the cash,
But they said

They would only give me
Half of what it was worth.

Yeah, jackson's cousin
Won a washer-dryer

On "The $25,000 pyramid,"

But he decided
To take the cash

Because he likes to go to
The laundromat to pick up women.

I'm not jackson's cousin.

And I don't want half
Of the cash value.

I want the entire "$100,000"
That was flashing under my face.

Do you want to know
How to use it or not?

'cause the leveling jacks
Can be a little tricky.

No, I do not want
To know how to use it!

Okay, enjoy your day.

Drop dead
And we'll discuss it.

They told me I had a week before
They were delivering it.

I put an ad on-line,
And I was going to sell it.

And then I get a call
It is coming,

And it has not been a week.

Oh, wait, sir,
Could I pay you

To just take this away
For an hour --

Drive it around,
Show it the sights?

Sorry, once we deliver the keys,
It's out of our hands.

Uh, lorelai?

Taking care of it, hal.

By the time
All this dust clears,

We'll have
Lost the light anyway.

No, no, we're not
Losing the light.

We'll keep the light
And lose the dust.

Sookie, get the dustbusters.
Michel, move this thing.

A squirrel got the roast.

I don't know
How it works.

It's like the space shuttle
In here.

Okay, we're done here.
What -- no!

Look, it's too late.

I can take some interior shots
Just for the hell of it.

Sookie, why don't you
Show him the kitchen.

Really? Great.
Follow me.

[ bell dinging ]

[ dinging stops ]

I can't believe it.

I can't believe
You had your motor home

Delivered here
To the inn today.

I was supposed
To have a week.

I know the world
Revolves around you,

But this was important.

I didn't think
It was coming today.
You didn't think,
Period.

I don't always expect you
To be a great help around here,

But how about not being

A super-colossal hindrance
To us all, okay?

[ door opens, closes ]

Business or pleasure?

"Social origins of dictatorship
And democracy:

Lord and peasant in the making
Of the modern world."

Oh, pleasure.
Have you read it?

I'm waiting for the film
To come out.

I heard renée zellweger's
Gaining a ton of weight
To play the peasant.

I was wondering if you're doing
Anything tomorrow night.

I don't know. Why?

It's finn's birthday.

He's having a party -- lots
Of booze, no food whatsoever.

I was wondering
If you'd like to go.

With you?
That was the plan, yes.

Oh, well, um, sure.

Yes?
Yes, I'd love to.

Let's celebrate
Another year of finn.

Excellent.
Now, it's themed.

Anything quentin tarantino
Is acceptable,

And I'll pick you up
At your room around 9:00.

Sounds good.

Does it?
Well, how about that?

Hmm.

[ sighs ]

Sookie,
Have you seen michel?

He was arranging a car
To take the martins to foxwoods.

He's showing some people
The motor home.

Now?

He asked me if it was okay.
I told him it was okay.

It's okay,
But why didn't he ask me?

He's afraid of you.

Afraid of me, of kitten?
Was I really that mean?

You were upset.
I was mean.

Michel likes to dish it out,

But he's sensitive
When you give it back.

You can't even tease him.

He never wore
Those red cowboy boots again.

Ugh. I remember.

I'm sure he'll get over it.
You know michel.

Hey, could you ask eddie
To get the martins a car?

You got it.

What's the gas mileage
Like?

Hmm?
The gas mileage?

It's 5,000 pounds
Of metal on wheels.

I'm sure the mileage
Is fabulous.

Would you take
$20,000 for it?
$20,000?!

But it's brand-new
And -- oh, whatever.

$20,000, sure.
You got a check?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hi.

What michel means to say

Is that he would happily
Entertain all offers

For this top-of-the-line,

Streamlined,
Beautiful motor home.

I mean, look at it.
I just may buy it myself.

What are
You talking about?

Offer $30,000.

Hey, has everyone
Seen inside this baby?

'cause if you haven't,
You need to, seriously.

And while
You're taking a look,

Please note the plush,
Soil-and-stain-resistant,

Wall-to-wall wallpaper

That accents the beautiful
Mapleish paneling.

Huh? Yeah.

20 grand?

You're just
Giving this thing away.

That's what
I was told to do.

I didn't know
About the mapleish paneling.

Michel, you can't sell this
Thing for $20,000.

What are you thinking?

Apparently, I'm not.
Apparently, I never think.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Whatever.

Michel, I was just tense
About the photo shoot,

And I said things
I shouldn't have said.

You know I didn't
Mean them, right?

I do not know that at all.
I think you do.

I think you know this inn
Could not run without you,

And I think you know I know

This inn could not run
Without you.

What about your photo shoot?
I ruined it for you.

We rescheduled the photo shoot.
Everything's fine.

I could have told you
They'd reschedule.

Everything with you
Is so dramatic.

So, what are we gonna
Do here?

Oh, well, I just want
The thing gone.

Michel, you had "$100,000"
Flash under your face,

And the entire world
Saw it.

Now, come on,
Go get your money.

Seriously, michel,
The rube with the cross-eyes

And the bolo tie,
I say that's your man.

He does look stupid,
Doesn't he?

Yeah, and familiar
With the ways

Of hooking up things
To local sewer lines.

Huh? Go get him.
Yes, I'll zero in on him.

If worse comes to worst,

The woman with the elastic-waist
Jeans should be a nice backup.

If I hold out,
Maybe I can get $120,000 --

Just sell the thing.
Right.

[ scoffs ]

[ cell phone dialing ]

Well?
It's too sparkly.

It's not too sparkly.

I look like a chandelier.

What shoes
Are you wearing?
The pink pumps.

Are they a little too
"Come and get it"?

Don't you want him
To come and get it?

Yes, but I want it to be
His idea to come and get it.

I want to stop
Saying "Come and get it."

I have to get ready.
Going out?

As a matter of fact,
I have a date tonight.

Logan?
No, robert.

Who's robert?
He's a friend.

Have I met this robert?
No, you have not.

What's his last name?
Do you think
I'm making him up?

I wondered if I ever
Heard you mention him.

He's just a guy I know at yale,
And there's a party tonight

For another guy I know at yale,
And robert...Grimaldi

Asked me to go,
So I am going to go.

So, does this mean
It's over with logan?

Nope, it just means that tonight
I'm going out with robert.

And you like
This robert, right?

Right.

The party's a quentin
Tarantino-themed party,

So I'm going as gogo.

'cause you have the skirt.
And no other ideas.

Cluelessness is the mother
Of invention.

Call me after.

Oh! This dress is too slutty.

The dress is fine.
The person in it, however --

You're breaking up.

The house is going
Through a tunnel.

[ imitates static ]

[ beep ]

[ door opens, closes ]

Oh, I was gonna --

I just heard the car,
So I --

No, but I always --

I know.
I should have --

No, I should have.
No.

Okay, this is stupid.

Yes, it is.
[ clears throat ]

It's not like we've never
Done this before.

I made it to the door.

I made it to the car.

[ sighs ]

Hey.

Hey.

I thought we'd go to marino's.
You like marino's, right?

Mm-hmm.

What is this?
"Reggae fever"?

So?

When did you buy this?
Where did you buy this?

Why did you buy this?
I was at the gas station.

It was at the register.
What's the big deal?

The big deal is
It's "Reggae fever."
I know.

When you look in the mirror,
Do you see "Reggae fever"?

It was cheap.

"Jah glory"
By toots bambaataa,

"Lively up yourself"
By the family zigzag,

"Let your ya be ya"
By ranking roy.

What else am I gonna
Find in here?

Ganja and yellow-green-red
Knit cap?

I bought a cd.

I didn't adopt
The entire rastafarian culture.

This is so weird.

To think there was
This whole chunk of time

When we weren't together.

We were living
Totally separate lives.

I was just
Working like crazy,

And you were running around
And buying reggae cds.

One cd -- one.

I just hate
That we were apart.

Yeah, wasn't too fond
Of it myself.

Well, all I can say is,

You're lucky
I'm back in your life,

Because clearly
You were lost without me.

It's a miracle
You're even still alive.

Right?

You bet.

[ engine turns over ]

* jokers to the right

* here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you *

Not a moment too soon.

Oh, no, thanks.

I think I'm gonna try to get
Through the doorway first.

Oh, novel approach.

You're gonna be
An interesting date.

Robert, what are you?

Dead extra number two.
Brilliant, my friend.

Happy birthday, finn.
You owe me $40.

Maybe for my birthday
You'll forgive me that.

Does your father have any idea

What a toll his cross-dressing
Took on your psyche?

That was your father,
Finn.
Ah, you're right.

My god, that explains a lot.

Do I know you?
Rory gilmore, finn.

All right, children,
Drink and be merry,

For tomorrow we will all be
In a great deal of pain.

Thank you, darling.

Your name and your phone number
Would also be appreciated.

Finn's quite an original.
Yes, he is.

Have I told you
I like your costume?
No, you didn't.

Did that count, or are you
Expecting me to say it again?

I think we're good.

Let's get a drink.

Oh, hey, colin,
Where's your date?

I went to pick her up,
The door opens,

And she's dressed
Like mira sorvino.

How do you dress
Like mira sorvino?

Blond hair and a name tag
That says "Mira sorvino."

I turned around and left.

Well, well, well,
The gang's all here.

Robert, good to see you.

Hello, logan.

Rory,
I like the costume.

This is whitney.
Whitney, robert, rory.

Is your friend
Josie here?

Yeah, she's over there

With the guy dressed
Like harvey weinstein.

Leave her alone, colin.

Yes, yes, of course.

So, good party, huh?

Seems like it.
Music's cool.

We're heading to the bar.
Can we get you two anything?

We're just gonna
Look around.

Okay,
We'll catch you later.
Sounds good.

Hey, robert?
Yes?

What's your last name?

[ reggae music plays ]
My god, turn that off.

Getting to you, huh?

They keep playing that same song
Over and over and over.

I've got news for you.
That was not the same song.

Oh, my god, you're kidding.

What was that?
I don't know.

Sounds like it came
From the garage.

There's someone
In my garage?

It's a weird time
For gardening, isn't it?

Could be, like, a raccoon.

Oh, hey,
Don't shovel the raccoon!

Just stay back, will ya?

Luke, you can't
Hurt a raccoon.

They're cute.

They have face masks
Like little furry burglars.

And sharp teeth that chew
Through your wiring and rabies.

I'm not gonna hit it.
I'm gonna scare it.

Hey, why don't you play it
Your "Reggae fever"?

[ creaking ]

[ snoring ]

Do you see it?
Shh!

It's one hell of a raccoon.

Shovel up! Shovel up!
Shovel up!

[ snoring continues ]

I probably should be
More surprised than I am, right?

Kirk, wake up.

And he's naked.

Oh, kirk, jeez!

Where am I?
In my house.

In my boat.
I'm exposed.

Let's do something
About that, huh, kirk?

I'm good now.

Kirk, what you doing here?

I left mother's.

Did she take away
Your beach boys album again?

No, I just got so excited

About the thought
Of a new life --

Of striking out on my own
And being my own man.

Right, luke?

"Right, luke?"

So I did it.

I packed my clothes,
And I gave my mother my key,

And I said goodbye,
And I left.

Oh, kirk, that's a big deal,
You leaving like that.

I know it is,
But luke explained to me

That if I really want to move
To the next level with lulu

And have a real
Grown-up relationship

With sleepovers and everything,
Then I had to get out.

I don't think
That's exactly what I said.

Oh, yes, it was,
And I felt really good about it

Until I realized
That I had no place to go.

I probably should have found
An apartment first.

You can stay
In rory's room.

Really?
Really?

Just for tonight.

We'll find you
Someplace tomorrow.

Okay.

You know, I think
You've got a raccoon in here.

Just go on in the house.

What were you thinking?

Kirk was talking
About how he wished

He and lulu had what we have,
And I just mentioned --

Everybody knows you can't
Mention anything to kirk.

I was tired.
I wanted to go to sleep.

Now we have to go in there
And take care of him.

He is now
Our responsibility.

Uh-uh! Pottery barn, baby.
You break it, you buy it.

Aw, jeez.

[ sighs ]

* ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

* ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

* ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

* ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

* ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

My entire goal in life
Is to outlive my brother,

Inherit the family fortune,

Put all my sisters
Out on the street,

And live as frivolously
As possible,

Have numerous wives, thousands
Of illegitimate children,

Die completely alone,

And leave every cent
To a parrot named polly.

That's your entire goal
In life?

Except for the name
Of the parrot,

I stick to everything
I just said.

You're a fascinating
Specimen, robert.

Well, josie's a lesbian.
You struck out, colin?

Whatever.
Is lydia here?

Yes. She's here
With patrick, her fiancé.

I hate these stupid,
Incestuous parties.

It's the same people
Over and over.

Who's as drunk as I am?
No one
Since spencer tracy died.

Are there any
Interesting women here?

Have you tried josie?

I'm getting a drink.

All righty.
I have to go make the rounds.

Have I met you yet?

Several times.

All right, then.

So, how about that drink?

Nothing too strong.

See what I can do.

Ace, having a good time?
I am, thanks.

Good. That's good.
Me too.

I'm having
A good time, too.

Good.
Yes, it is good.

I didn't know
You knew robert.

I met him at the life and
Death brigade gathering.

Oh, right, well, he must have
Made quite an impression.

He just asked me out
Is all.

Sure.

He's kind of a jerk.

Excuse me?
Robert --
He's kind of a jerk.

Have you noticed
He's kind of a jerk?
No.

Huh.

Night's young.
Okay, come on.

Where are we going?
Logan?

You look great.

Thank you.

Logan, stop.

Right. So, how you been?
I've been fine.

Good. School's good?
School's hard.

Well, it's supposed
To be hard.

It's grooming you for life.

Making you
An upstanding citizen.

God-fearing christian.

Habitual recycler.

We can't do this here,
Logan.

You're right.
Let's go.

Go where?
Your place, my place.

New york -- the plaza.

We can't just leave.
We have dates.

[ scoffs ]
I don't like this.

Like what?

You here with robert.

You're here with whitney.
I know.

So, what's the problem?

You're here with robert,
And it's bothering me.

Sorry.
Do you want us to leave?

No, I want us to leave --
You and me.
I can't do that.

You want to spend the night
With robert?
I came here with robert.

So dump robert.
I hate robert.
He's your friend.

So what?
I still hate him.

Logan, you're the one
Who said --
I know what I said.

Okay, then, I have to go.
I have a date.

Enjoy the rest of the party.

* pierre was wedded
To the lovely mademoiselle *

* "C'est la vie,"
Say the old folks *

* it goes to show
You never can tell *

There's nothing in here
But ice cream,

Candy bars, cookie dough,
Canned frosting.

Why are you not 450 pounds?

Scientists call it
The lorelai paradox.

Who you calling?
No one.

Just seeing if rory
Left a message.

Who's washing those?

Why, was she supposed
To leave a message?

No, I was just hoping.

We out of plastic?

Why were you hoping?
Everything okay with her?

Yeah, she just
Had a date tonight.

Get four.
Those tend to break.

She out
With that logan kid?

No, robert.

Who's robert?

I know nothing about him except
His last name is grimaldi.

When did she
Break up with logan?

She didn't.
I don't understand.

It's college.
What the hell's
That mean?

It means, "Butt out, back off,
None of your business."

Rory suddenly decided
She's dating girl.

Isn't that what kids
Are supposed to do?

It's just -- it's not rory.

I don't think it's what
Is gonna make her happy.

It seems wrong for her.

You say something to her?
No.

She's been so chatty lately,

Wanting to be able to talk
About logan and her life,

So now I just don't know
What to do.
You talk back.

I feel like I need
To be careful what I say.

That's ridiculous.

She's not at home.
She's on her own.

Doesn't matter.
Matters a little.

There have been very few times
In our relationship

When I ever
Played the mom card,

But I always had it there
In my back pocket.

And when I used it,
She had to hear

And take it
'cause she lived here.

And even if she didn't like it
Or got mad,

The worst that would happen
Is she would run into her room

And slam the door
And blast the jam.

But then in the morning,
I controlled the bathroom

And the pop-tarts,
And she had to deal with me.

Eventually, we'd make up,
And it was over.

Nothing's different.

Of course it's different.
She's on her own.

She's making
Her own decisions.

My mom card's
Looking a little flimsier,

And I don't know how much
To say to her.

If she doesn't want
To hear it,

She doesn't
Have to take it.

She doesn't have to call
Or come home.

She'll call.
She'll come home.

Yeah, I hope so.
I don't know.

[ door opens ]

Did we
Lock the front door?

I'll be right back.

Kirk!
Get back here, kirk.

[ door closes ]

[ bell rings ]

What on earth
Is wrong with you

Besides the obvious
Lack of fashion sense?

I told you to get back together
With lorelai.

I told you exactly
What to do and say.

What do you need --
A cheat sheet?

Some flash cards,
Some "Sesame street" characters

To sing a song about it?

Do you think it was easy
For me to come to you?

Like I was just sitting
Around my house,

Thinking,
"What shall I do tonight?

"I know, I can drive
To stars hollow

And humiliate myself
At the local greasy spoon"?!

Okay,
I'm in the middle of --

I don't care
What you're in the middle of!

My family is being torn apart
Because, for some reason,

You aren't capable of taking
Simple instructions

And putting your relationship
Back together!

[ cell phone rings ]

Hello?

Just because
You run a diner

And have mastered the art
Of the blank stare

Does not mean
It's going to work with me!

Richard went through
A great deal of trouble,

And you never even
Called herb smith.

You can't follow through
With anything --

Not even a razor!

Mom, what are
You doing here?

I'm having
What I'm sure will turn out

To be yet another fruitless
Conversation with this man.

I'm sorry, luke.
I'm really, really sorry.

You have no right to barge
In here and cause a scene.

I have something
I want to say.

We don't want to hear
What you have to say.

We just want you to
Butt out of our lives.

Our lives?
So, there's an "Our lives"?

Are you two
Back together?
Yes.

You did go to her,
Just like I told you to.

We got back together because
We wanted to get back together.

If you're together,
Then what's the problem?

What are you talking about?

Why won't you come
To friday dinner?

Whatever happened,
I fixed it.

You fixed it?!
You broke it.

Just because luke and I
Found a way to repair the damage

Doesn't erase the fact
That it happened.

What I did,
I did out of concern.

As your mother, I have
The right to be concerned,

Especially when it looks
Like you're taking your life

Down a completely
Disastrous path.

Mom!
Lorelai!

If I want your input
In my life

In any way, shape, or form,
I will ask for it.

Until then, do us all a favor
And shut up!

[ door opens, closes ]

[ sighs ]

Got to say, suddenly big fan
Of the speed dial.

[ sighs ]

[ cell phone rings ]

Hey,
What's going on?
I just got a call
From kirk.

He wanted to know if he could
Crash at my dorm.

How did he get my number?

Oh, he probably got it
Off the fridge.

Okay, and what was kirk
Doing near our fridge?
It's a long story.

I want to hear how the
Back-together date went.

It was very successful.
Did he like the dress?

The dress was a hit.
I told you.

And how was your date
With robert?

Completely insane.

You won't believe
The evening I had.
Oh, tell me.

So, robert and I get to
The party, and logan was there.

At first, everything
Was completely cas',

And then as the evening went on,
He got more and more jealous.

Really?

He wanted me to leave with him,
Blow off robert.

And did you?
No, of course not.

I told him
I came with robert

And I was leaving
With robert.

It was great.

And since then, by the way,
Logan has called twice today.

We're going out tonight,

And we've already made plans
For this week.

Complete
And total turnaround.

Sounds like all the balls
Are in your court or --

Well, you know what I mean.

You okay?
You sound down.

No, I'm fine.
What are you gonna wear tonight?

I thought I'd go
With the 20-minute sweater.

Oh, cute, cute.

The answer is no.

Look, jerry, I sold you
The motor home.

It is now yours.

I'm a very busy man.
I do not have time for this.

All right, for $20, I will
Measure the shower for you.

No, that is on top of the $40

For the cupboard space
And the pullout table.

Well, I'm sorry
If you're feeling ripped off.

I can call elastic-pants lady
And see if she'd like

To take the motor home
Off your hands.

I thought so.

Hold on.

[ muttering ]

[ sighs ]