All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E08 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

We're having the baby here.

In our bed.

If there was any
Misunderstanding

About wanting you to come with
Us to the dragonfly,

We're sorry.

I'll think about it
And get back to you.

Nice to have you aboard.

I'm busy. Go.

Jason, I'm going to need
Your guest list.

To the launch party.

I've organized a trip
To atlantic city.

Now you can just hang out
And relax.

My two favorite things.

There's anti-midwife energy
In this room,

And it wasn't here
When I left it.

It's not coming from me.

Lorelai is pro-you,
All the way.

You will apologize
To my mother.

And you will let her throw
That party.

I will apologize to emily,
But that is the best I can do.

What I can do is take you
Out to dinner tomorrow night.

I'm not having dinner
With you.

I'm not gonna say

That getting married
On that ship wasn't wrong.

What are you talking about?

We're still you and me.

Why can't we have
What we had before?

Which was?

Two people who loved
Being together.

Oh, no, no, no.

What the hell is that?

It's sookie's baby pager.

[ gasps ]
Oy to the vai.

[ applause ]

More broccoli,
Grandpa?

Absolutely.
Staves off the cancer.

Staves off
My appetite.

You really should eat more
Green things, lorelai.

I plan to eat a $5 bill
Later tonight.

Have you seen
The new $20s?

They have a little peach
Color in them.

I'll eat a new $20, I'll have
My fruits and vegetables.

We saw some of the new $20s
In atlantic city.

How was atlantic city?
Successful?

Very.

Siskel's chimed in.
What about you?

I'm refraining.

It's a bit of a sore subject.

We'll talk
About something else.

The garishness!
The garishness!

Thus spake ebert.

Why have a simple sign
If it can be in flashing neon?

The new slot machines

Don't just make obnoxious
Bell sounds anymore.

They yell at you.

The slot machines were talking
To you, mom?

They talk.
I can verify that.

One of them kept yelling,
"Wheel...Of...Fortune!"

The parking lot of the hotel
Had an area for r.V.S.

Perish the thought!

And the boardwalk...

I've always wanted to see
The atlantic city boardwalk.

I'll save you a trip.

Tip an overflowing trash can
On your front porch

And walk up and down on it.

It was actually quite
A successful outing --

Maybe not to our taste,
But the clients loved it.

The clients were too plastered
To know better.

Kind of the point.

Two of them stayed up all
Night and smelled like it.

That was a tad gross.

One of them --
A married man --

Had a long conversation

With a woman of less
Than reputable nature.

Do hookers charge
To let you talk to them?

Depends on what they're doing
When they're talking to you.

Rory!

I expect that from your mother,
But not you.

Just a joke.

Mom, yale is broadening
Her world view.

Digger was in his element.

You mean, jason was
In his element.

He caroused along
With the best of them.

You carouse any, dad?

I played a little craps.
The tables were ice-cold.

What's the next outing jason
Has planned?

Spring break in cancún,

So you can do shots
Off people's bellies?

I'm uncomfortable,
Hearing you say that.

I can assure you, emily,

That there are no belly shots
In our future.

Although doing one
Off dad's belly is okay.

You're married.

And those heinous gifts
He gave out.

Oh, we had little roulette
Wheels printed up

With our company name on it.

They were a big hit.

Perfect for
An executive's table.

I got one for each of you.

Richard, don't.
It's embarrassing.

They're cute.

They're the antithesis
Of class -- so like digger.

That was his nickname
As a boy,

And he's sensitive about it.

I've never called him that
To his face.

You did at that craps table,
And then he sevened out.

Let's discuss something
Other than new jersey.

I am more than willing.

Have you guys read
Any of rory's articles

In the yale newspaper?

We've read them all.

Fine work, rory.

The yale daily news
Is lucky to have you.

It's really not a big deal.

They're right.
Take your props.

You'll be running that paper
Before long.

I'm not even on staff yet.

You're not?

These are just tryout articles
To qualify.

You have to write something
For every department.

If those pass muster,
Then you're on staff.

Your coverage of that lacrosse
Match was very exciting.

For two seconds, I almost
Gave a flying you-know-what

About lacrosse.

I liked your coverage
On the new funds

Approved for upkeep
On the divinity quadrangle.

You made it sing.

We're having all your
Articles laminated.

That's very nice.

Yes!

I just got my number.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

It just seems like
A quaint archaism.

If you're a good journalist,
Why make you jump through hoops

And write all these
Tryout articles?

It's a tradition.
All our forebears had to do it.

If our forebears
Had fought it,

We wouldn't be dealing
With it now.

What are you looking for?

I did a review of the
Chamber-music recital.

Must be in there somewhere.

And that's the other thing --
They print everything.

Hmm, that's weird.

They'd print my mattress tag
If it was in the right margins.

It's not here.

Impossible.

No, I've looked pretty
Thoroughly.

Must be a mistake.

Parakeets will be crapping on
Something else in the morning.

They're all stale.

Morning.
Morning.

Hi, doyle.

Hi, rory.
Coffee mint?

No, thanks.

I'm addicted to these things.
So is bob woodward.

So I hear -- not that I'm
Copying him.

I was wondering if there was
A problem with my review.

The quartet?

Yeah, chamber music
At sprague hall.

Did I get it in late?

No, right on time.
You're good about that.

But you didn't print it.

No, we didn't.

So, space issue?

No, we always have the space.

It was just
A bit of a yawn.

A yawn?

Chamber-music recitals
Are very low-key,

Kind of yawny affairs.

Pretty music
But no stage diving.

I meant the writing.

The writing
Was kind of a yawn?

Don't sweat it.
You'll do better next time.

Right, sure.

My mother liked it.

Liked what?

The recital. She's old.
Excuse me.

Sure. Sure.

Your article
Didn't get in?

No, it didn't.

Mine did.
Good, good.

I'm going to get a bagel.

He actually used the word
"Yawn"?

What a jerk.

You should punch him
Where it counts.

He's just doing his job.

He could have been a little
More diplomatic.

The word "Yawn"
Is insulting.

But I was tired
When I wrote it,

So it probably wasn't
My best work.

I should write my articles
At night first, then study.

Yawn guy needs
A little learnin'.

Kick him where the sun
Don't shine.

You really are not good
At threats.

I know, and I hate that.

What time do you have?

5 to 4:00.

5 minutes to my call
With dave.

Are we still mad at him?

We never were.

That's right.
Must be jackson.

We're mad at jackson for
Something he said to sookie.

No, we're not.

Must be gypsy.
We're mad at her husband?

She's not married.

This is gonna bug me.

So, how is dave?

Great. I just wish he weren't
3,000 miles away.

How did he take the news

That you found a replacement
For him in the band?

He was a little weird
About it.

And that's why
We're mad at him.

We're not mad at dave.
Must be jackson.

He'll be home for
Christmas, right?

This is my stop.

Say hi to the baby
For me.

Find out who we're mad at.

We're not mad at anybody.

We're always mad at somebody.

Hey.
Door's open.

Aren't they home?

They are home.
I'm not welcome in it.

Lorelai, come on in.

I'm being discriminated
Against.

Michel can't come in?
No.

I'm rosa parks.

Why can't rosa parks
Come in?

He sneezed.

Five days ago.

I can't take a chance
With the baby.

It's a business meeting.
The baby should not attend.

He's a week old.
Should he take in a movie?

I got dust up my nose.
It made me sneeze.

I am not sick.

[ hisses ]

Come on in.

Sorry.

Uh-huh-huh-huh -- oh, no.
Whew!

Not funny.

There he is.

Oh.

Oh, widdle davey,
Widdle davey, peekaboo.

Oh, you have a widdle nose.

Oh, oh, no, aunt lorelai's
Got your nose.

Do you want it back?
Do you?

He's not indicating
That he wants it back.

Well, then,
I'm gonna keep it.

This is painful.

He said his first word
This morning.

[ gasps ] Who? Michel?

[ laughs ]

What'd he say?

He said, "Ah-oopah."

Did you say, "Ah-oopah"?
Did you?

Well, you're very talented.
Did you know that?

If I throw up, do you want it
On the bushes or the grass?

Michel,
Don't you like babies?

I don't know.
I've never been near one.

I thought today
Was my chance.

I brought pastries.
Do you want one, michel?

So I can look even sadder,

Sitting and eating pastry
By myself?

No, thank you.
Can we start?

Okay. [ clears throat ]

I'm here to report that the
Dragonfly is officially demoed

And stripped to its studs,

To the point where it looks
Worse than ever,

And you can't imagine it ever
Looking good ever again.

Excellent.

There are big, flying
Things out here.

But we're on schedule.

When I left, the plumbing
Contractor was unloading

All sorts of impressive-looking
Copper pipes,

So that's something, I guess,
And -- oh, bruce.

Hello.

I thought you'd gone.

I came back.

Bruce is not only a midwife.
She's a lactation specialist.

Yikes.
Uhhh.

Is that the sneezer?

It was dust.

What are these big, green
Things with wings?

Bruce, I didn't get a chance
To tell you how impressed I was

By the home birth.

It was just amazing to watch
And very, very special.

Did you talk baby talk
To davey?

Yes.

Every second davey's brain
Is hard-wiring for life.

Baby talk can retard his
Language-acquisition rate.

Is that what you want?

Definitely not.
I want him fully "Tarded."

[ smack ]

This flying green thing
Is toying with me.

In five minutes,
We'll feed.

Five minutes.

Did I tell you
She donates her services

To indigent,
Inner-city mothers?

It's okay.

This thing is getting ready
To dive-bomb.

[ clears throat ]

So, davey, beautiful day, huh?

What would you like
To discuss?

Middle east peace,
The space program?

I'm sorry, what's that?

Oh, my god, he said, "The answer
To the problems in the mideast

Is, 'I have to poop.'"

He got distracted.

And now there's no peace?

Davey, come on, man, hard-wire
Those adult thoughts

And try to remember what
We're talking --

And he said that thursday's
Impossible to start work.

I reminded him
About our contract.

Good, because he needed
To be reminded.

So that's all taken care of.

I'm being attacked
By green things!

It's time to feed.
No.

[ chuckles ]

Well, this has been a very
Productive meeting.

Very. [ chuckles ]

Hi, doyle.
Got something for you.

Your new review?
Remember the "New zoo revue"?

Henrietta hippo?

Freddie the frog.
Who was the third one?

Whenever there's three
Of something,

You always forget
The third one.

It's a statistical thing.

Do you want me
To come back?
No.

I drank a lot of coffee
Before writing this,

So hopefully
It won't be a yawn.

Good.

Doyle?

Just a sec.

You're crossing
Everything out.

Not everything.

The only thing
You haven't crossed out

Is what you haven't read yet.

Well, it's better
Than your last one.

You're showing progress.

Really.

Is this some kind
Of hazing?

I put a lot of time
Into this.

It's definitely not
For lack of trying.

Is it something personal?

Did I do something
To offend you?

Rory, this is how it works.
It's not personal.

It's just not very good.

I rewrote it four times,

And I researched it
So thoroughly.

Don't worry about the facts.

You seem to have gotten
Those right.

Stan, file this for me.

So, it's not good?

I just couldn't tell
What you really thought.

But I tried so hard.

Oh, I know.

So I should try less hard?

Just write what you think.
You have opinions?

Sure, I do.

That's what will work.

Sounds simple.

Charlie the owl.
That's the third one.

Right, right, charlie.
Guess I'll go.

Don't worry.

Either you'll get the hang
Of things or you won't.

Uh-huh.

Just make sure
This one's good.

Got it.

Wow, pretty.

Yale's got
The big bucks, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

This is gonna be fun.

It's work for me.

Are those our seats,
All saved and everything?

One of the advantages of being
With the press.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm the happiest
Unpublished writer

In the newspaper biz.

You are not unpublished.

I am recently unpublished.

Don't forget your
Lacrosse-story triumph.

Maybe lacrosse is the only thing
I'm good at writing about,

And I'd never heard of it
Before I was assigned it.

Hopefully,
There will be plenty

Of well-paid, full-time

Lacrosse-writing positions
For me

At our major
News organizations.

You need chocolate.

Chocolate and talent.

Maybe I'm just not cut out
For college journalism.

Maybe I peaked
In high school.

Aw, man,
That's a depressing thought.

You didn't peak.

This is just a different
Environment and a bigger league,

And that's half the fun,
Isn't it?

Kind of.
Here we go.

Ah, I love these seats.
They're so important.

[ sighs ]

[ gasps ]

Oh.

Well,
She recovered quickly.

Whoa.

The floor
Must be slippery.

Huh.

I don't think the guy
Is supposed to wince

When he lifts the ballerina.

Maybe it was involuntary?

She wasn't supposed to kick him
Like that, was she?

I don't think so.

It gives new meaning
To the word "Nutcracker."

[ giggles ]

Shh. Shh.

Wow.
That was terrible.

From the opening kerplunk.

It just kept getting worse.

I'm in physical discomfort.

That lead ballerina --
She has no friends.

How can you tell?

Because no one gave her
The heads-up

On the roll of fat
Around the bra strap.

Maybe she just has no friends
In the ballet.

All ballet people do
Is ballet.

If she has no friends at the
Ballet, she has no friends.

Holy moly.

I wonder how many times

I can use the word "Blows"
In an article

Before it becomes redundant.

What are you gonna write?

I don't know.
What I think, I guess.

Really.

That's what was missing from my
Other pieces -- my opinion.

If you want my opinion,

That end curtain came down
Way too slowly.

I'll try to work that in.

If vincent gallo
Could just see this,

He'd feel a whole lot better
About "Brown bunny."

Nice.
Really great job.

Really?

Really.

Oh, wow, thanks.

Thank you.

Stan, get this to layout.

I love doing that.

And you look good doing it.

Coffee mint?

Thanks.

This piece is beautiful.
My wife's gonna flip.

Good. It's very fragile,

So keep it away
From young children.

We don't have children.

You should.
Everyone should have children.

Okay. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Lane?
I have something for dave.

Fordave?

Something for you to send
To him in california.

Special gift from me
To him.

Could you wrap it and take
It to the post office?

Definitely.
That's so sweet, mama.

He's a good boy.
He's going to make a good man.

I agree.

I'm going to make some tea.

So, I looked up what bruce said
About baby talk,

And she was right.

You should never talk
Baby talk to a baby.

That's sad.

So I've been calling

All my friends and relatives
With babies

To tell them to immediately
Stop talking to them.

You mean,
Stop talking baby talk?

No, it's better that they
Just stop altogether.

Ittle-bitty michel.

Now, stop that.

I like talking baby talk,

And I can't do it to babies,
So I need an outlet.

And you're my outwet -- wittle
Michel with the happy hair.

Goodbye.

You no wanna eat?
Aw, look at him walking.

Big boy walkies. Ooh.

Nicole?

Well, I'll be.
Look at you there.

It's nice to see you.

Yeah. Does luke know
You're here?

Yeah, he's just in the back.
Do you want him?

No, I don't want him.

I was just coming in for a bite
With a friend --

And not my imaginary friend.

My friend michel was with me,

But he doesn't eat
Normal food like this,

So he's not coming in,
So -- you good?

Very good. And you?

Very good, too.

I'm just still living here
In stars hollow,

And rory's going to yale.

I knew that.

Naturally, you would be
All filled in

'cause luke's talking to you
Regularly.

Mm-hmm.

So, um, I met a bunch of lawyers
From your firm.

Really?

I did, yes,
Because, well, I'm --

They were coming in to see luke,
And I'm in here a lot --

Yeah, they're good guys.

They were really good guys.
They like you a lot.

They're the partners
At my firm.

So they have to like you.

So, is luke coming out?

He should be.

You know, I'm not hungry.

I just remembered,
I just ate.

Oh. [ chuckles ]

But it's really good
To see you.

Same here.

Really good.

Okay. [ chuckles ]
So...

Hello?

Lane: oh, thank god.

I just had the biggest fight
With dave that we've ever had,

And it's all
My mother's fault.

Your mother? Why?

Earlier today, my mom
Asked me to wrap something

That she wants
To send to dave.

Is it his birthday?

No, this was something else
Altogether.

You holding onto your hat?

I'm not wearing one,
But I can pretend to be.

It's the jug.

What jug?

The big jug,
The monumental jug.

Remember when I was a kid,

My mother showed me
The special jug

That's been passed down
In my family for years,

In a long-standing kim
Tradition,

That she is personally going
To present to the boy

I'm going to wed?

The marriage jug?

The marriage jug.

She's sending dave
The marriage jug?

What does that mean?

I'm guessing it means
She's reserving a hall

And ordering that "Stations
Of the cross" ice sculpture.

Whoa, this is serious.
I had forgotten all about it.

I didn't.

It's been sitting
On that shelf all my life.

I liked that it was there.
It was a nice tradition.

I had pleasant associations
With it,

And now I want to break it
Into a million pieces.

What inspired her?

Have you been sending out a vibe
Or something?

No. What kind of vibe?

A marriage vibe.

I don't know what that is.
Maybe. I love dave.

If you love a boy,

Do you automatically send out
A marriage vibe?

I don't think so.

I feel weird
Just saying that.

Why did you and dave
Get into a big fight?

I didn't send him the jug, but
I had to give him a heads-up

In case he called here
Innocently

And my mom said something like,
"You rent that tux yet?"

So I did, and he was very
Against getting the jug.

You thought he'd be
All for it?

No, but he was way too down
On the idea.

Lane, he's 18.
He just started college.

I know.

Jug or no jug,
He's not ready to get married,

And neither are you.

I know. Someday maybe.

But not now.

Now we're about
To get into a fight?

No, there have just been enough
Young people marrying

In my life.

I don't want any more.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

She's going to expect a call
Or note from him,

Thanking his soon-to-be
Mother-in-law

Or else she'll be offended.

I guess I've got to talk
To her about it.

I don't see any other way.

Whoa.

What?

Someone wrote something on our
Door -- "Die jerk."

"Die jerk"?

It's not coming off.

Cool things like that never
Happen at adventist school.

Rory.

Someone wrote "Die jerk"
On our door.

I thought maybe the person
Who did it was back

To make good on the promise.

Who did this?

We've got to find out
And strike back hard.

We're assembling inside.

Lane, I gotta go.
We're assembling.

Sorry about the jug.

It's okay.
Keep me posted.

You too. Bye.

What's your business here?

Fun stuff, huh, guys?

Yeah, it's ridiculous.

I may have been here
When it happened.

And you heard nothing?

Way to have that radar up.

Let's not make each other
Feel bad.

We need to rev up the gunships
And retaliate

Before the next strike.

We gotta go full-out sharon.

There's gonna be
Another strike?

You want to wait to find out?

We should make a list of the
People we've made enemies of,

Starting with most recent
And working our way back.

Can't we just let this go?

It may just be a joke.

Anyone here laughing?

I guess it is vandalism.

It's more than that.

This is an assault that should
Be met head-on,

Using extreme prejudice.

I'm the most likely target,

So I've already made up a list
Of enemies,

Which I've narrowed down
From 26 to 5.

Just at yale?

Just in this building.

Maybe we should move.

Retreat? I think not.

There's a girl on my volleyball
Team who's livid at me.

I kissed her boyfriend.

I'm exceedingly dull.

What about you?

Made anyone mad lately?

Please, that would be like
Dorothy pissing off the tin man.

It's impossible.

I'm not leaving my room.

I'll keep you posted
On my person.

And my 5 are already
Taken care of.

They're taken care of?

I got my east side 860 partners
On it.

Want to watch tv?

Something light.

I'm with you.

Hi, luke.

Take a seat anywhere.

Very hungry.

You're in the right place.

Twice. This is my second trip
Today.

Right. You didn't eat?

You knew I was here?

Why didn't you stay?

I wasn't that hungry.

So, what's new?

Uh, got some new
Coffee pots.

Anything else?
New filters.

Anything else?
No.

Anything else?
Other than "No," no.

Nicole, luke.
Nicole was here.

She's the one who told you

That I was here
And didn't stay.

She's new.
Nothing new?

You saw her,
So it's not new.

Oh, it's so new.

What's going on there?

We're kind of seeing
Each other again.

Thank you, and boy!

It's not heavy-duty.

So, you're not
Getting divorced?

We put it on hold.

The divorce?
Can you do that?

I don't know.
It's all new to me.

Is she moving in with you?

[ chuckles ] No.

You're husband and wife.
It's not a crazy question.

We're man and woman.

We're seeing each other as if
We're not husband and wife.

The state of connecticut
Sees it differently.

To the state, you're sharing
A toothbrush holder

And deciding together whether
There's enough in the dishwasher

To justify running it.

Hopefully, the state will stay
Out of my way.

What about taxes?

What about them?

You file single, jointly?

That's not for months.

You can't put it off.

I'm not doing my taxes
Right now.

Capone? They got him
For tax evasion.

I don't plan on evading
My taxes.

Why are you pressing this?

Because it's weird.

You think it's weird?

Yes. I am a cross section
Of the community.

If I think it's weird,
Then rory thinks it's weird.

Then miss patty thinks that,
And so on.

We're not dealing
With it right now.

We're just letting things happen
As they happen.

We're going with the flow.

Going with the flow?

Oh, that's so strum your sitar,
Dig the maharishi,

Pass the owsley,
Summer of love,

Flower power, hippie-dippie,
I can't stand it.

You don't have to.

I hope you're not expecting
A wedding present,

'cause I'm putting it on hold
Till this whole thing clears up.

Fine.

It's a good present.

You haven't gotten it yet.

It would have been
A good present.

You don't like nicole?

I like nicole.
She's very nice.

I don't think she likes me.

She likes you fine,
And, yes, she is very nice,

And I missed her
And she missed me.

So we're dating again,

Putting off the hassle of
Getting a stupid divorce.

Avoiding that hassle is the nice
Fringe benefit

Of getting back together
Again.

Aha, the hassle.
Now we're getting down to it.

If the divorce
Wasn't a hassle,

Would you still have gotten
Back together with her?

I don't want to talk
About this anymore.

Is that why
We're still friends --

Because it would be
Too big a hassle

For you to tell me you don't
Want to be friends anymore?

What do you want to eat?

Eating's a hassle.
I'll just starve.

And I'll starve right here,

Because it would be too big
A hassle to get up and leave.

I'll work around you.

And if it's too big a hassle
To get rid of my body

After I die of starvation,
Just leave it here to decompose

All nice and quiet --
No hassle.

Good.
Wow, she's moving.

I was kidding about
The decomposing here.

But you still haven't eaten.

I'm not hungry, again.

And I liked
The old coffee pots.

The new ones look stupid.

Hey, someone was looking
For you.

Oh, who?

It's probably better
That they don't find you.

You are very brave.

What?

If you hear the rustle of tulle
Coming up behind you, run.

Rory gilmore?
Remember me?

I don't think so.

That's very flattering.

Can I help you?

Let's see if this jogs
Your memory.

I have the grace
Of a drunken dock worker?

Remember me now?

The ballerina
From the ballet.

That's right.

Your outfits are made of tulle,
Aren't they?

You're a jerk!

I know.
You wrote that on my door.

You're lucky
That's all I did!

Should we go
Somewhere else?

Your review was mean
And petty and despicable!

Look, sandra -- that's your
Name, right? --

Sandra, this was all in the line
Of duty.

It was an assignment
From my editor,

So there was nothing personal.

You called me a hippo!

No, I compared you
To a hippo.

That's not calling you
A hippo.

It was a humorous comparison.
I was trying to --

To destroy me
And my company!

No, think about it --
I bet that, more than likely,

Very few people will even read
The review,

And most people aren't
Even interested in ballet

In the first place.

It's unfortunate and awful,
And I hate it,

But what can you do?

It's avril lavigne's world,
And we're just living in it.

Plus, most people left before
The end, and I stuck it out.

That's something.

I'm curious.

How much ballet experience
Do you have?

You must have a lot,

Since you write about it
With such authority.

Well, none to speak of.

I had a few years of beginners'
Class, and I stunk.

Anybody write about it
In the paper?

No. Good point.

I've been dancing 3 hours
A day, 7 days a week,

For 14 years.

I've done two summer sessions
With the miami ballet,

And I'm on the waiting list
At juilliard,

And now your review is out
There for everyone to see!

You're a jerk!

I just wanted to come tell you
That to your face!

You're a jerk,
And I hope you die!

Bye, jerk. Die, jerk.

The door thing
Was about you?

Apparently.

The strike is off.

Stand down.
I repeat, stand down.

Hi, mom.

Come in, come in.

You look tense-er than usual.
What's wrong?

Oh, it's your father.

I wanted him to go upstairs
And clean up,

But I can't pry him away
From that partner of his.

Hmm. Digger's here?

They're in the study doing
Something computery.

When did we suddenly become
So dependent on computers?

Finally.

How far can I go, jason?

As far as you want.
It should work anywhere.

Fantastic.

Richard,
Our company's here.

We have company?

Actually, it's just me.

I suppose
You're company.

Say, are you and rory
Wireless?

Oh, no, we're pretty wired
Most of the time.

Why are you carrying that?

We're testing it.

Jason has just helped me hook up
A wireless network

For the house.

Oh, neat.

Oh, lorelai,
This is jason stiles.

We've met.

Really?

Emily, they knew each other
As kids.

Oh, that's right.

Great to see you again.

Oh, same here.

Look at this!

I'm walking around, and
I'm still on the internet.

Emily, I'm going to google you.

You are certainly not
Going to google me!

It's a search engine,
Emily.

He's just gonna find you
Out in cyberspace.

This sounds absurd.

Can't use a laptop here.
The signal doesn't reach.

When do plan to use it

In the dark corner by
The staircase, richard?

Well, you never know.

I don't like the idea.

I'm just testing it!

They're always fighting
Over toys, these two.

It's crystal clear out here.

Richard,
It's freezing outside!

I won't be a minute.

Ridiculous.

I have to go check on dinner.

Excuse me.

So, um, how have you been
These past 25 years?

Good. Moved out
Of my parents' house.

Love the freedom.

You don't have to hide
The bong anymore.

Hey, did you get any flowers
Lately?

Uh, several times.

Apparently, I have
A secret admirer.

I signed all the cards
"Jason."

I thought it was
Jason priestley.

You're disappointed.

No, I just wish I hadn't slept
With jason priestley.

How's the new inn?

Coming along.
We're gonna have horses.

Talking horses?
No, just the regular ones.

We could get married there.
Where?

The inn, on horseback.

Oh. So, you unwired
My father, huh?

Per richard's request.
He wanted it.

Emily doesn't.

I cannot win with her.

You're getting the triple
Freeze from her.

Takes the onus
Off her daughter.

But the more she hates me,

The more likely it is
That you will go out with me.

That's not necessarily
The case.

Good, because I gotta make some
Serious progress with her.

Maybe I should get her
To invite me to dinner.

Ha!
Hey.

I'm sorry.
As if you control these things.

I'm not god,
But I have influence.

No way is she inviting you
To dinner.

Would you have a problem with me
Staying for dinner?

No. You won't stay, because
You won't be invited.

I will.

[ door opens ]

Hey.

Hi, hon.

Jason, this is my daughter,
Rory. Rory, jason.

Right, scooper.

Digger.
Sorry. Digger.

It's nice to meet you.

And I don't really go by
Digger anymore.

What is it,
P. Digger now?

I'll just call you jason.

You're a very kind
Young lady.

Jason, I just hit f12, and
Everything's going to hell.

Easily fixed.

Hey. How are things?

Surreal -- on a whole new level
Of surreal.

What happened?

I was harangued
By an incensed ballerina.

That is salvador dali
Surreal.

What ballerina?

From the ballet we went to --
The one I wrote about.

This girl marched up to me
In the dining hall

And busted me on the bad review
I gave her.

Wait a second.

Are people allowed to yell
At the reviewer?

I frown on it.
It's upsetting and ridiculous.

I'll probably laugh at it
Someday, but not today.

What did you write?

I brought it for you
To read.

Tell me what you think, because
My picky editor loved it.

I mean, loved it.

Sure, sure.
This is very weird.

[ clears throat ]

[ chuckles ] Whoa.

What?

Oh, you really hated
This ballet.

Well, we both really hated it.
Remember?

Yeah, I do.
Jeez.

Now, come on.

This is so harsh.

Again, you were there.

I know, but there's something
About seeing it in print.

People don't write as mean
As they talk, except you.

I wrote what I felt.

[ gasps ]

"The roll
Around the bra strap"?

That was your line!

It was? I'm awful.

And it's not even critical
Of the ballerina's skills.

It's critical
Of the costumer's skills.

I know, but it sounds
Like she couldn't fit

Into a standard leotard.

She couldn't!

But again, the costumer
Should have put her

In a larger leotard.

Do I see the word "Hippo"
Coming up?

Give me the paper.

It's just so specific.

That's what the editor
Told me to do.

Then you did the right thing.

I was too harsh.

You said yourself,
You were supposed to be.

Rory, you're here. Good.

Hi, grandma.

Don't tell me richard's
Still traipsing around

With that thing.

Richard, please come inside
And close the door.

Oh, jason, you're still here.

I wouldn't leave without saying
Goodbye to you.

What you got there,
Grandpa?

A laptop.

The gilmore house is now
Wireless.

And the laptop is now
Going back in its case

Because dinner is ready.

I'll be taking off.

I've got a cheeseburger
Waiting for me.

A cheeseburger?
That's not a proper meal.

Oh, please, richard,
It's my favorite meal.

I've had one for dinner
Three times this week.

With the right bread
And meat,

A cheeseburger can make
A fine meal.

Thank you, emily.

You're defending
Cheeseburgers?

This isn't just any
Cheeseburger, richard.

There's this stand that
Makes them special for me.

I hear
Those can be very good.

Emily, are we going to send

This young bachelor out
For fast food?

Oh, no, no,
I couldn't stay.

I'd be putting you out.

I'm not sure we have enough.

We always have enough.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
I wouldn't hear of it.

Emily, my business partner

Is going to be standing outside
Eating a cheeseburger.

Jason, would you like
To join us for dinner?

The cheeseburger
Will just have to wait.

I'll tell the cook.

Cheeseburger.

[ sighs ]

This food is incredible,
Emily.

Yeah. It's my first
Lobster thermidor.

Your recipe?
No.

Can you thermidor
Other foods --

Fish thermidor, spam thermidor,
Enchiladas thermidor?

I don't think so.

Cora, since we're five
Instead of four,

Richard and I will ration
If we have to.

Oh, I don't think rationing
Will be necessary, emily.

Yeah, mom, you can just
Pick off my plate.

You've forgotten all about
That burger, I hope.

After the first mouthful.

Having a computer at home with
A high-speed internet access

Is gonna free up your time
Enormously.

Oh, I should say so.

How?

How is it gonna free up
His time?

He'll be using e-mail more,
Which means fewer phone calls

With chitchat that you have to
Get through

Before you get down
To business.

E-mail seems very cold
To me.

But fast.

Fast isn't always better.

A good point and very true.

Jason was saying

That you'll get use out
Of this system, too, emily.

The internet.
Have you checked it out?

I'd have no use for it.

I wouldn't dismiss it
So fast, mom.

The internet is more than
Just good porn now.

Yeah, I'm on it constantly.

What for?

Research when I can't get
To the library.

And for shopping.

Yeah, shopping.

Shopping?

Yeah, the stores you normally
Have to go to,

They're on the internet now.

But going to a nice store is
Half the fun of shopping.

I like being greeted at the door
And the bustle of people

And the shoes and clothes
All lined up nice and pretty.

That's true.

Yeah, we like that, too.

Having someone help you pick out
The right thing

Or help you exchange it
If it's not right.

With the internet,
Do you mail it back?

We usually just forget.

So you're just out the money?
I don't get it.

I don't get it anymore
Either.

We should go to real stores
More often.

But the internet
Is really good.

So, which camp was it
Where you two met?

Um, it had a funny name
And canoes.

They all have funny names
And canoes.

Was it camp waziata?

Which one
Asked me to leave?

You got kicked out of camp?

I tried to liberate
The horses.

Camp chataguay.
That's where we met.

I enjoyed camp.
I made some good friends.

I met your father
At that camp.

We bunked together
For a summer.

Incredible athlete and a good
Guy -- a really good guy.

He hated you...
With a passion.

No, I don't remember that.

I'm pretty sure.

Didn't he try to dunk your head
In a toilet bowl

After you heckled him during
Some campfire talent show?

No, I don't -- oh, my god,
I've been repressing that!

Oh, that doesn't sound like
Christopher.

No, it's okay, richard.
I'm positive I deserved it.

Rory, I've been meaning
To mention to you,

We read that wonderful review
You wrote of the ballet.

It was excellent.

Ho, ho, ho,
You eviscerated that girl.

I actually didn't mean
To eviscerate her.

I was just trying to be honest.

Well, you honestly sliced her
Open and ripped out her guts.

Your pen was your knife.

Right.

I especially liked
The reference to the hippo.

That seems to be the most
Memorable for people.

And the bra strap.

I should give you a copy
Of it to read, jason.

It sounds interesting.

I just wrote what I thought.

And the line about regretting
How evolution

Had led man to stand
On two feet,

Because it led to this night.

[ laughs ]

Sorry.
I hadn't read that far.

Why are you apologizing?
It is funny.

The ballerina in question

Had kind of a negative reaction
To the whole thing.

So what?

Don't feel badly
About this, rory.

Sometimes people don't know,
At a young age,

That they're not good
At doing something.

Now that poor girl can go
To business school.

She's actually not as bad
As she sounds.

It's rare to read
A truthful review.

I was going to go see that
Ballet, and now I don't have to.

Thank you.

You're welcome, I guess.

We were just burned by a
Dishonest review in the courant.

That french restaurant.

They must have had the reviewer
In their pocket.

The man raved about this place,
And it was abominable.

The food was inedible.

And the service --
I had to snap my fingers

To get our waiter's attention.

Emily, as a woman of taste,

I could use your recommendation
Of restaurants in the area.

I've been away so long,
I'm just woefully out of touch.

Oh, I'm no more an expert
Than the next person.

You're being humble.

Yeah, mom, cough it up.
You've been everywhere.

Multiple times.

If you're looking for
A place for a business lunch,

You can't do better than
Portofino's.

They give you attentive service
Without rushing you,

And it's wonderful
Italian food.

You can't beat italian.

Is there anyone here
Who doesn't love italian?

Not me.
Or me.

Good to know.
Anything else, emily?

You need more?

Please. I'm a desperate man.

Oh, don't be shy, emily.
You're a walking zagat guide.

Well, there's always
Lil's for steak.

Steak's always good.

I love steak.

Really? So steak is good.

How about ethnic food?
Indian? Thai?

I personally detest
Thai food.

Me too.
Chinese is good.

As long as it's authentic.

So cross thai off the list.

I would.

How about something with
A more romantic atmosphere?

Why would you need a romantic
Atmosphere for business?

Yeah, why?

I'd like to know myself.

A client might want
A recommendation

For him and his wife,
And I would like to be prepared.

My partner.

That would be
Mill on the river.

Oh, yes.

Very dark,
Very atmospheric.

Sounds nice.

Very.
Good.

We've made progress here,

But I'm monopolizing
The conversation.

Oh, that's okay.

Can I call you later
To continue this?

Absolutely.
Call me sometime next week.

I'll be sure to do that.

You want to re-review
The ballet?

Yes, I do, doyle,

Because I have a brand-new
Perspective on it and on dance.

I was ignorant before,

So this would be
A whole new piece.

We don't re-review things.

Well, there's a first time
For everything,

And I could even buy my own
Ticket if that's a problem.

But it closed early
Because of your review.

I did not know that.

But it's not a problem.

I'll just redo the one
I already did.

That ballet
Is seared in there,

So I could just replay it
In my head.

But your review was great.

People are still talking
About it.

That's pretty rare.

Okay, well, what about just
A general-interest article

On the lead ballerina?

Is she the hippo?

No. No.
She is an accomplished dancer,

And her life is quite
Fascinating.

Did you know that she studied
Dance for 14 years

And has performed in miami?

Miami --
That's pretty big. Miami.

It's boring.

She almost got into juilliard.

That's not interesting
Either.

Well, no, but these are simply
Background facts

Of a fascinating personal
Journey of an artist

Struggling against
The indifference

Of an indifferent society, just
Dancing as fast as she can.

It's "8 mile"
Meets "Fame."

I know what's going on here.

What?

You're feeling bad about the
Effect your article had

On the people in the ballet.

No, that's not it.

We heard about the
Dining-hall confrontation.

That was not really
A confrontation.

We were just chatting.

It goes with the territory.

When I was your age, I reviewed
A clog-dancing team

That was really bad, even
Compared to other clog dancers.

I was merciless.

But if I can't re-review it,

Then can I just print the things
That I meant to put in

And didn't have time to?

Hurting people's feelings
Is what we do.

But when I become
A real journalist,

The people in my reviews aren't
Gonna live in my building.

Doesn't matter.

When you write for
The yale daily news,

You are a real journalist.

I didn't mean --

And if you can't handle it,
You should leave the paper.

I don't want
To leave the paper.

Good.
Here. Your next assignment.

Thanks.

Knock 'em dead.

Dinner is going to be
A little late tonight.

My gluten patties caught fire,

So we're switching to spaghetti
And wheat balls.

Mama, can we talk
About something?

What's that?

It's the jug for dave.

I gave that to you
Days ago.

Why haven't you sent it?

I can't send it, mama.

What do you mean?
Of course you can.

I showed you how to tape
The bubble wrap.

No, I mean, I can't!

What is wrong with you?

Mama, please listen.

All right.

This is important,
And I want to be clear,

And I want to say it right,
But it's hard.

I'm listening.

Dave is my first boyfriend,
And he's important to me --

Very important.

I know that.

And his being in california
Like this, it's been hard,

And it's even caused
Some problems.

But in other ways, I think
It's brought us closer.

Yes?

But I'm still in school,
And he's still in school.

And while I respect you
And I respect the jug

And all that the jug
Represents --

All the bright hopes
And all the tradition --

I cannot give dave the jug --
Not now.

Maybe one day, but not now.

Okay.

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

You're putting it with
All the clearance items?

You're selling
My marriage jug?

Your what?

The jug you kept to give to
The boy I'm going to marry.

What are you talking about?!

You told me when I was 6,

That this was my special
Marriage jug

That you were gonna keep
On a special high shelf

For the boy
I'm going to marry.

This thing?
It's just a jug.

What?!

I probably told you that
To make you stop crying.

You always cried
When you were little.

Gave me a headache.

It's just a jug?

I've got tons of them.
They're hard to move.

But --

We could make it a marriage jug,
Whatever that is.

No, no, never mind.
It doesn't matter.

I'll send something else
To dave.

Good.

Oh! My wheat balls!

So, why can't you show
Your face at luke's?

It's just for a while.
Hey, where are you?

The theater.
That's why I'm talking softly.

I'm reviewing some music thing.

So, why can't you go to luke's?

I got into an argument
With luke about nicole.

Nicole?

They're back together.
I didn't know that.

I walk into luke's,
And there she is.

And he hadn't told you?

No, and I was the very
Picture of awkwardness,

And basically, I just fled.

And when I saw luke later,
We got into a fight about it,

And I told him his coffee pots
Were stupid.

So it was very sophisticated.

He is so guarded,
So uncooperative.

You should probably get over
Your problem

With luke being uncooperative.

I don't want there to be
Weirdness between me and nicole

If she's back in our lives.

Luke has gotta get it through
His thick skull

That whoever is in his life
Is in my life, too.

Really?
That's not a little stalkery?

No. We are a small,
Close-knit community.

So, you're gonna tell luke
About jason?

What about him?

There's something happening
There.

[ scoffs ] Not really.

There was a palpable vibe.

Palpable to everyone?

Just me.

Grandma and grandpa
Were oblivious.

Hey, would that be crazy?

What?

For us to go out together?

All three of us?

Jason and I.
A little.

Well, I haven't decided.

Well, I'm happy to report

That there have been no more
Run-ins with the ballerina.

We're not destined to be buddies
Anytime soon,

But sometimes you have to make
An enemy.

When you have a job to do.

When you have a job to do.

It's starting.
I gotta go.

Okay. Have fun.

I will.

[ sighs ]

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