All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E04 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

[ alarm blaring ]

Oh, crap!

What's going on?

Is it the smoke detector?
Are we on fire?!

It's the alarm!

What alarm?

Our alarm.

We don't have an alarm.

Well, then, we have really
Angry rats.

Did you cut your hair?

Well, I just trimmed it.

You didn't tell me
You were cutting your hair.

It was a
Spur-of-the-moment thing.

"Let's not tell my mother I'm
Pulling a g.I. Jane"?

Are we seriously gonna have
This conversation now,

During the air raid?

You're right. Come on.

What are we doing?

I figured out that there is
A motion detector,

And if you stand here,
It can't see you and calms down.

Great, so what now?

We wait.

Why didn't you tell me you
Were getting your hair cut?!

It's just a trim.

To the braille institute,
It's just a trim.

Do you like it?

Will you put it back
If I don't?

Yes, I like it.
Thank you.

[ blaring stops ]
Oh, thank god.

Feels good
When it's over, huh?

This is crazy.
When did we get an alarm?

Kirk has recently joined the
Stars hollow security company.

Oh, no.

Apparently, now that I'm the
Pretty spinster living alone,

He's concerned
For my safety.

Did he tell you all this?

Do you think I labeled myself
"The pretty spinster"?

What did you say?

I haven't talked to him
Face-to-face.

I come home to this and a note
And his card and his gun.

Oh, jeez!

Yeah, and then when I called
The alarm-response center

To complain about the alarm,
No one answered.

I had to leave a message
With meg -- she sweeps up.

I can't even believe

There's a security company
In stars hollow.

Nothing ever happens here.

That is not true.
Plenty happens here.

Like, people now break
Into your houses

And install alarm systems.

And we have
A new mail carrier,

So if you want your mail,
You have to see miss patty,

'cause that's where
He brings it.

He bring babette's mail
To andrew's,

Norma's mail to the deli,

And taylor still hasn't found
His, which is kind of fun.

I rescind my previous statement.
This place is happening.

So, did you eat yet?

Nope. I thought
I'd let you feed me.

Sure. I can feed you,

But I can't know if you're
Getting your hair cut.

I will never do anything again
Without telling you -- happy?

I don't know. I'm finding this
Guilt thing satisfying.

No, where are you going?!

[ alarm blaring ]
Why did you do that?!

I was gonna get my laundry!

You made it mad!

I didn't mean to!

Back in the corner!
Back in the corner!

No place like home, huh?!

Yeah.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Mom?

Follow the post-its.

Does our life seem at all
Ridiculous to you?

I spent all morning carefully
Tracking that motion detector.

What an excellent
Use of your time.

We're good as long as
We stay on the path.

So I should follow
The yellow stick road?

We'll be here all week.
Try the veal.

Stop.

Read.

Crouch down and hop.
Oh, come on.

The motion-detector beam at
The top of the staircase

Dips very low over there.

You seriously want me
To crouch down and hop?

Like a little
Hunchbacked bunny.

You know, I have decided that if
I ever went to therapy,

I was gonna leave you out
Of it, but now...

Okay, you can stand up.

Did you at least call the stupid
Security company again?

Yes. Meg sends her love.

Don't worry -- I'll stop
By on my way to the inn.

And what are your plans
Today, persis khambata?

Well, today, I'm going
To do nothing

But hang out in town, read,
Veg, drink coffee,

And have the perfect
Stars hollow day.

Look out.

I get to go over to the inn

And hear a contractor
Laugh at me

Every time I say, "That won't
Cost too much more, right?"

Late lunch at luke's?

You're on.

So, uh, which way do I go?

Oh, just follow
The post-its.

But they're going
In two different directions.

They are?

I must have kicked some
Out of the way by accident.

Well, which one do I take?

Which looks more intentional?

No post-it path looks
Intentional.

I'm drawing a complete blank.

You seriously don't remember?
Sorry.

Well, how are we supposed
To get out of our house?

Unh!

I hate kirk.

Whoa. What's going on?

I'm just setting things up
For tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow --

Heads up!

What's...

I think
You may need to move.

Yeah, I kind of got that.
Excuse me. What's tomorrow?

Tons of tools so that everything
Looks like frosting.

And she's our only daughter --
Frost the town.

Now, where should we put
The poster?

I want to make sure
Everybody sees it.

Oh, what about
Next to the cake?

Yes, next to the cake.

I'm so proud of her.

Lane.

Rory.

Have you heard of a phone?

Because as my friend,

It is your responsibility
To use it to call me

And tell me my ex-boyfriend's
Wedding is on sunday

So I'm not
Accidentally in it.

I was sitting out in
The gazebo, reading,

And this guy almost brains me
With a stack of tablecloths.

Right, they're having the
Reception in the town square.

Yes, and lindsay
Was out there,

Holding a giant picture
Of her with dean.

Did she see you?

I don't think so.

I do a pretty good idiot run
When I need to.

I meant to tell you.

I just didn't know you were
Coming home this weekend.

It totally slipped my mind.
Things have been so crazy.

I just figured I'd tell you when
We talked, then we didn't.

I'm sorry.
Can you hold on for a sec?

Not cool, lane.

I'm sorry, guys.

Fourth time today.

I thought rory was my mom.

The resemblance
Is uncanny.

You should get your mom
A bell like a cat.

We're having a band meeting.

We need to figure out
What to do about a guitarist.

I think I got a splinter.

You know a splinter can get
Into your bloodstream,

Go straight into your heart,
And kill you.

Why would you tell me that?

Whatever, dude. This is lame.
I'm gonna bail.

We need to
Find a guitarist.

Right. We have come too far to
Let the band fall apart

Just because dave --

Hey, do not say the "D" word,
Lane -- don't.

Dave is dead to me.
Comprendo? Dead.

Cover the mirror, rip a shirt --
That guy doesn't exist.

He just went to college,
Zack.

No, he did not
Just go to college.

He walked out on his art, man.
He walked out on his sound.

Do you think a sound
Is so easy to find?

Did you ever see
That glenn miller movie?

For two hours,
Jimmy stewart's walking around,

"I got to find a sound.
I got to find a sound."

We had a sound, and dave took
That to freaking california.

You don't come back from
California, man.

It changes you.

What did you expect him to do --
Not go to college?

No true rock 'n' roller
Goes to college!

Mick jagger went to
The london school of economics.

And dexter holland
Of the offspring

Got his phd in
Molecular biology at usc.

Greg ginn of black flag
Graduated from ucla.

The guy from bad religion

Got his master's in geology
From ucla.

And he's working on his phd in
Evolutionary biology

At cornell.

Lane, she's your friend.

I'm sorry. I'm going.
I'll call you later.

Hey, are you mad?

No, I'm not. I promise.

I'm just -- I was just
A little surprised.

I mean, dean's wedding...
But it's okay.

It just means that I have to be
A little more careful

About where I go
This weekend -- that's all.

Okay, well,
I'll see you tomorrow.

We're using the garage --
Guitar auditions.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Shut up, shut up.
Weezer did not go to harvard.

Not the whole band,
Just the lead --

Get away from me!
I mean it.

Bye.

Bye.

[ door opens, closes ]

Hi.

Hi, uh...

Were -- were you --

Oh, I was at, uh, lane's.

Right, lane's. Um.

Um.

So, you're home
This weekend.

Yeah, I, uh, I ran out of clean
Clothes and quarters,

So...

How are things?

Good. You?

Good.

You like yale?

I love yale.
And connecticut state?

It's -- it's good.

Oh, good.
I'm glad it's good.

Not that I would have had any
Recourse if it wasn't,

But this makes
My lack of recourse

A lot easier to deal with.

So, I see you've
Taken over the town.

Oh, yeah, well, lindsay
Thought that --

She likes the gazebo, and --

It's her wedding.
It is her wedding.

And your wedding.

Yes, it is.
It's my wedding, too.

Well, it's nice.
It's, um, it's pretty.

It looks like heaven or
A victoria's secret commercial,

Which, to some people,
Is basically the same thing.

I didn't know you'd
Be home this weekend.

It was just a
Spur-of-the-moment thing.

Because if I had known,

I would have, you know,
Invited you.

Oh. Oh, well, it's --

I didn't want you to think I was
Just not inviting you.

No, I didn't think that.

I just figured
You'd be at school.
Because you're logical.

I just didn't know.
I know you didn't.

I didn't want you to think --
No, I don't think.

I go to yale now.
They think for you.

But, hey,
Since you are here, come.

Come?

Come to my wedding.

Oh, dean.

You and lorelai --
I want you to.

Chicken or beef?

Wait, beef --
Of course beef.

I mean, the two of you
Are definitely beef.

I mean, not like you
Resemble beef or anything.

You know, you don't even
Have to --

Okay, so, noon
At the church.

I'll be the one
In the tux.

And we didn't write our own vows
And no one's singing opera.

I know
You think that's lame.

No, well, it's a wedding.
It's supposed to be operatic.

Okay, so, I better
Get over there.

Lindsay's expecting me.

So, I'll just see you two
Tomorrow.

But --

Now?

Nothing.

What about now?

No, nothing.

Okay. Now?

Nothing. Kirk,
What's supposed to happen?

What?

I don't know what I'm
Supposed to be looking for.

Kirk?

I'm not sure.

Kirk,
Please come downstairs.

Are you going to hurt me?

I swear, they told me it would
Be self-explanatory.

I just had to get
In the main box,

And in seconds,
This thing would be disabled.

They didn't tell me
That I needed a key

Or if I didn't have a key,
I would be mildly electrocuted,

And then, after all that,
When I got in the box,

There's noting
Self-explanatory about it.

I was trying to do
A nice thing.

And jimmy said he would
Install it for me,

Because I do not have
Those skills yet.

The class was full
By the time I got there.

Damn my constant tardiness.

Kirk, please,
What can we do right now?

The alarm is just so loud.

That's my fault, too.
I asked jimmy to crank it up.

Well, he did.

If you're gonna have
An alarm, you need it loud.

You don't want

Some crazed, knife-wielding
Gunman at your throat,

And the neighbors
Are going like,

"Is that a fan?
Did I leave the water running?"

You want them to know,
"That's an alarm."

Your imaginary attacker
Has a knife and a gun?

And a really dirty
Tank top.

So, jimmy's out of town,

But until he gets back,
We can --

Change the code.

Really? Something I know?

You can pick it.

You know how to do that?

Yes, I do.
Okay, here we go.

Just punch
In a 7-number sequence.

You got it.

Hey. Did you know
Your phone's not working?

I've been calling you
For an hour.

I had the operator check it.
She said it's cut off.

It was working this morning.

I'll be right back.

You look tired.

Yeah, well, kirk.

Right. Hey, listen,
I got a call today.

From?

Michel --
A very upset michel.

Why?

Apparently, he called you,
And you never called him back.

When did he call me?

He said he
Called you in july.

I was in europe in july.

I think that he thinks

That we're trying to ease
Him out of the dragonfly.

Why would he think that?

I don't know, but he was
So hysterical,

His voice got into that
High-pitched squeal he does,

And all I could make out was
"Fire" and "Abandon me"

And something about not
Receiving a thank-you card

For the statue of liberty.

That is crazy.

He knows we always intended
To take him with us.

I mean, we love michel,
Right?

Right.

He's the best concierge
In the world.

Absolutely.
A little abrasive.

Kind of impatient.

But charming.

And great at what he does,
Knows the community.

Willing to go that
Extra mile.

Tiny bit obnoxious.

Makes you want to scream,
"Life's too short!"

Two, three times a day,
But...

Picture life without him.

We do need him, right?

Let's just go down there
And talk to him.

Right.

Well, we know

Where all those calvin klein
Ads went to die.

They look like they all
Had the same mother.

That must be one tired
Supermodel.

Excuse me, we're look--

I wouldn't talk to us,
Either.

Hey, talk to a boy.
A boy will be nice to you.

Okay.

Hi. Excuse me.
We're looking for michel gerard.

The corner of mercer
And broom.

Excuse me?

Oh, janet jackson's
On the phone.

Ah, no worries. Hi.

Us?

Yes.

We're looking
For michel gerard.

Michel.

Yes, michel g--
Janet again.

She's very needy lately.

You have some guests
At the front desk.

Uh-huh. No worries.
He comes like the wind.

Thank --

He doesn't need our thanks.

Well, he has janet, so...

Yes, the tickets are under
The hotel's name.

You have reservations
At tamtam at 7:00.

Do not order the duck,
Because it will take forever,

And you will
Miss the curtain.

If you have any problems at all,
You have my pager number.

Just call me.
Goodbye.

Well, look who
The cat dragged in.

Hi, michel.
We've missed you.

Yes? Well,
I have missed you, too.

This place is wonderful.

You look so important, walking
Around, talking to yourself,

But you're not really
Talking to yourself.

You're actually talking
To someone else

In a headset with
Your headset.

How are you?

Me? I am wonderful,
And yourselves?

We're great,

And we're breaking
Ground on the inn on monday.

Oh, yes.
Is that still happening?

It is still happening.

Well, that's lovely.

There's a small charge
For the use of the internet.

All instructions
Are in the minibar.

I'm so pleased.

Listen, I know you're
A little upset with me.

I don't think so.

I told her about the call.
What call?

The call you made
To me yesterday,

The one where you told me you
Called lorelai,

And she didn't call back.

I make so many calls.

The one where you cried.

Are you sure
It wasn't another michel?

You kept me on the phone
For over an hour.

I missed the beginning of "Queer
Eye for the straight guy,"

And by the time I got back,
They were all gay.

We just want you to know if
There was any misunderstanding

About wanting you to come
With us to the dragonfly,

We're sorry.

I'm not.

Well, that's very sweet
Of you to say. Thank you.

Unless you don't want
To come with us.

I mean, this place
Is very impressive,

And I would understand if
You didn't want to leave.

Yes, this place is
Impressive, isn't it?

I mean, the uniform alone --
Like working in your jammies.

And these headsets,
Are they not fabulous?

Especially when, for example,
You're in the bathroom,

A place one would normally
Choose to be alone,

Then suddenly, bang, someone is
Yakking in your ear.

How delightful.
You can never get lonely.

I suppose not.

And the people who
Work here -- a joy --

So young, so talented.

Some of them are actors

In ambitious
Off-broadway revues.

They play cockroaches
And derelicts

And do shakespeare
Dressed like punk rockers.

It gives me chills
Just thinking about it.

Yes, extra towels are
Complimentary, matthew,

And stop asking me who the
Hottie I'm talking to is.

I'll think about it and get back
To you, okay?

Nice to have
You aboard, michel.

I'm busy. Go.

Oh, thank god.

Matthew, what?!

So, he invited us
To his wedding.

Then we're having beef.

But what was his body
Language like?

Tall.

No, I mean, did he squirm or
Back away when he invited you,

Or was he all darty-eyed?

Not much squirming,
No backing away,

But there was a little
Bit of darty-eye.

So, he was nervous.

We were both nervous.

We didn't expect to run
Into each other,

And I think he invited us

'cause he felt like
He had to, to be nice.

That does sound like dean.

So, do we go?

Oh, I can't decide this.
He's your ex-boyfriend.

It seems weird that we go.

Then we don't go.

But if we don't go,

It may look like we're trying to
Make some statement.

Then we go.

If I had just stayed at lane's
For two more minutes...

Yeah, fate.

Yes, it is fate.
Do we ignore fate?

I don't know. Do you have any
Important papers due soon?

Fate's gonna flunk me?
It's always a possibility.

Then we are going.

Where?

Dean's wedding --
Fate's making us.

I hope fate will cough up
40 bucks for a salad spinner.

Please. There is no fate.

What do you mean?
Of course there is fate.

There is no fate.
There is no destiny.

There is no luck.
Astrology is ridiculous.

Tarot cards tell you nothing.
You cannot read a palm.

Tea leaves make tea
And nothing else.

Jim morrison is not
Hanging out with elvis,

And the kennedys
Did not kill marilyn.

I totally knew
You were gonna say that.

I came over here.
My fault.

I read your mind.
It spoke to me. We're psychic.

Enjoy the fries.

Where does this leave us?

Well, I think that dean's
Gonna expect us to go,

And it is his day,

And I don't want him to feel
Like I don't care about him.

I just want him
To be happy.

Okay, we'll get him
A salad spinner

First thing tomorrow morning.

Thank you.

Oh, there you are.
Honey, I've got your mail.

Oh, great.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

I've been looking all
Over town for you.

You could have left a message.
I would have picked it up.

Oh, there was something
Marked "Urgent" in there,

And I just wanted to make
Sure you got it.

Thank you.

All right, I'm leaving.

Oh, I'm gonna kill
That mail carrier.

I don't care if he
Doesn't have a tongue.

Our new mail carrier
Doesn't have a tongue?

You've got to be kidding me.

That's what patty said.

No, taylor has sent me a cease
And desist order on the inn.

"Dear lorelai gilmore, it has
Come to the attention

"Of the stars hollow historical
Preservation society

"That you and
Miss sookie st. James

"Intend to commence construction
On the dragonfly inn.

"Any proposed renovations

"Must be submitted,
Discussed, and approved

"By the stars hollow historical
Preservation society.

"We must therefore
Ask that all work halt

"Until such time that this
Procedure has been followed.

Thank you, and have
A historical day."

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to talk to him.

Cool.

Don't say "Cool" like that.
It's gonna be very pleasant.

I thought you said you were
Gonna talk to taylor.

I own my own business now.

I'm gonna have to deal with tiny
Men like taylor all the time.

You can't go around
Yelling at people,

No matter how historical
They might be.

Bummer.

You have to learn to separate
The personal from the business.

Okay.

Remember in "The godfather,"
Michael telling sonny

How he was gonna kill tattaglia
And captain mccluskey

In that italian restaurant?

He lays out the whole thing very
Calmly, very unemotionally,

'cause that's what you do
In business.

Yeah, but then he went and shot
Two guys in the head.

Okay, but I wasn't
Describing that scene.

But if you know you
Already like lime,

Then you're not sampling,
You're savoring,

And that's just gluttonous.

Hi, taylor.

Well, hello there, lorelai.
Rory, what can I get for you?

Oh, well, gosh,
Look at all the choices.

Really hard to pick.

I think I'll try a scoop
Of butter brickle crunch.

Rory?

I'll try the
Chocolate chocolate chocolate.

While I have you here,

I received this letter
In the mail,

And I'm having kind
Of a blond day,

And I wonder if you could
Explain it to me.

Well, it says you have
To get approval

Before you can start
Construction on the inn.

That's what
I thought it said.

But I have to tell you, taylor,
I'm a little concerned,

Because we have a construction
Crew coming monday,

So, yikes.

Well, the dragonfly is
A historical building, lorelai.

Yeah, but the whole town is
A historical building, taylor.

I mean, george washington
Ate, slept, or blew his nose

All over the damn place.

He only blew his nose
In the park.

You've read the sign.

That inn needs love.
It's falling down.

Sookie and I
Have no intention

Of ruining
Its historical aspect.

We'd just like some
Running water.

Running water
Was not always historical.

You're not seriously telling
Me I can't put in running water?

Oh, my god,
This is incredible.

It's called
"Chocolate chocolate chocolate,"

But it's seriously
Chocolate chocolate chocolaty.

Sorry.

I'm just telling you,

There are rules,
And they have to be followed.

Fine.

What do I have to do

To get the historical
Preservation society's

Stamp of approval?

Well, a formal presentation
Is necessary.

Uh-huh. When?

Any town function
Or gathering

Is open to a presentation,
Lorelai.

Okay, so, like,
The town meeting tonight?

If you like.

The town meeting it is.

Oh, now, don't look sad.

I went through this
With my place, too.

Of course, I knew the rules,

So I didn't get
The embarrassing letter.

Right, okay, great.
We'll see you later, taylor.

Oh, uh...

Yes?

That'll be $3.50
For the ice cream.

And worth every penny --
Let me tell you.

Sorry,
But this is really good.

Will be paid for directly from
The town park funds,

And town park funds only.

All righty.

Long one tonight.

Astonishingly long.

We've got to be next, right?

We've got to be.
Michel, are you okay over there?

He says the guy next to him
Has unforgivable b.O.

Michel, you're french.
How can you even tell?

Could we have a little quiet?

Sorry, taylor,
We're just waiting here,

Very patiently, as you can see,
All ready and everything.

Yes, well,
The next item, people,

Is a wonderful feather
In stars hollow's cap.

One of our very own,
Fourth grader donny pass,

Was named a runner-up

In the connecticut state
Story-writing contest

For his work entitled
"The happiest doughnut."

I think I'm going to give birth
Just out of boredom.

Donny's mom is here tonight.
Let's give her a big hand.

I almost think he's
Doing this on purpose.

Almost? Ha.

Bordering on
"Pretty damn sure."

I won't spoil the plot

Of "The happiest doughnut"
For you, folks.

Except to say it's funny
And a little sad

And truly inspiring.

But a caveat for
All you parents --

The dunking scene may
Be too intense

For preschool-aged children.

How can a stupid doughnut
Be happy?

See, he's got you curious.
That's the genius of donny pass.

Hey, I've got a bunch
Of your mail. Here.

Well, I've got some of yours,
Too, and some of al's.

Will you pass this
Back to him for me?

Yeah. Well, if you hand
This up to andrew.

Can do.

[ indistinct conversations ]

I can't smell anything.

I'm breathing it all in
So it's not reaching you.

Thanks for taking
That grenade for me, pal.

People, could we have
Some order here?

Gypsy, the letter
From my girlfriend's open.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, andrew.

It must have fallen
Open accidentally.

You read my private letter.

There's nothing private in that,
Except for the medical stuff.

Taylor, I got your pennysaver
And your girly magazines.

Those
Are lifestyle magazines.

People, this meeting has
Degenerated

Into our usual
Weekly anarchy.

I say we adjourn.
We'll see you next week.

What?!
Taylor!

Everyone pick up a free copy of
"The happiest doughnut"

On your way out.

We were supposed to make
Our presentation

About the dragonfly.

Yes, well, you're bringing
This up kind of late.

We've been sitting here.

It won't take long.

It was your idea.
You suggested this.

Okay. People, your children
And elderly

Are going to have to wait a
While longer

For you to get home

Because lorelai gilmore
And her associate

Want to discuss
Some proposed changes

To a beloved
Town structure.

Thank you. Let's go,
Sookie, augustus gloop.

Knock them dead.

Guys, I know we've been
Here forever,

But I very quickly want to tell
You what we have in mind

For this beautiful
Dragonfly property.

The historic
Dragonfly property.

That goes without saying.

I don't think you should try to
Hide that it's historic.

I'm not hiding anything.

Proceed, please.

Okay, we're very excited --

How many guest rooms
Will this establishment have?

10.

[ clicking tongue ]

Yeah, 10. Anyway, the property's
Been unoccupied for --

Parking?
How many parking spaces?

18.

Oh. Hmm.

Something wrong with the
Parking, taylor?

2 people to a room,
Each with their own car,

That's 20 cars --
You don't have enough parking.

But some people will be driving
There together, in one car.

So, you have
A crystal ball, do you?

That's just common sense.

Because if you have
A crystal ball,

I sure would like to borrow it
To take to the racetrack.

No, I don't
Have a crystal ball,

But if the parking's not enough,
We can always add more.

Easy.

So, pave paradise
And put up a parking lot.

Not what we're saying.

I heard you were planning to
Serve alcohol -- is this true?

There will be a restaurant.

Wine, cocktails --
Give the people what they want.

So it'll be a party spot,

Catering to that crowd --

Hip-hoppers,
The manson family.

It's a little country inn.

A perfect secluded spot for
Murders to revel in impropriety.

You know,
This is not going very well.

Look, taylor, everyone, there
Will be millions of questions,

Some of them even legitimate,

But the bottom line is,
You know me.

I've been
A part of this town

For, well, look how big
My daughter is -- for that long.

And opening this inn has been
A dream of mine and of sookie's

For most of that time.

Along with michel, we plan to
Make this community

As proud of the historic
Dragonfly inn

As you were

When the same team was running
The independence inn.

You mean the place
That burned down on your watch?

Can I slap him?

Now, this will also help our
Local economy,

Because we plan to employ --
Sorry -- we plan to employ --

Huh. Uh, this call
Is coming from the house.

Our house?

It's flashing our number.

But we're here.

I know.
That's the weird part.

Sookie, keep it going in here.
I'll be just a quick second.

Okay, if you have any
Questions...

Yes, about the dragonfly
Or deodorant --

The places to buy it,
How to apply it,

That sort of thing.

Hello?

I responded to the activation of
An alarm at your residence,

And I apprehended a prowler
In the garage.

You did?

Yes, ma'am --

Female, approximately
18 years old, korean.

Kirk, that's lane.
You know lane.

I thought I knew lane,

But now I think she's
In some kind of gang.

Lorelai, help.

Their front is some sort
Of musical group.

They are a musical group, kirk.
Honey, go sort it out.

Got it.

Rory's on her way over --

Brown hair, blue eyes,
About 5'6" -- don't cuff her.

10-4.

Okay.

We failed you.

He is
A very unpleasant man.

The second -- I mean, the second
You walked out the door,

Taylor adjourned the meeting
Over our objections.

Well, where'd he go?

He was the first one
Out the door.

Unbelievable.

You can run,
But you can't hide.

Oh, this is cute...

"The happy doughnut."

Hey, we have a little
Misunderstanding back there?

Lorelai, please don't sneak
Up on me like that.

I almost blew
My emergency whistle.

We weren't done.

Oh, I thought we were.
What more was there to say?

Nothing was decided.

You said to come and explain
What you're doing,

Then we can start our work.

You can't do that until after
The walk-through.

I'm in heels. Do you mind?
What walk-through?

I and other members of the
Historical preservation society

Need to examine
The property in person.

You didn't think we were
Gonna make a decision

Based on a little chat
Did you?

I'm sure I mentioned
A walk-through.

I don't think you did.
I'm mentioning it now.

When's the walk-through?

I'd have to check with
The other society members,

Set something up
In the next month or so.

I have workmen coming monday,
Taylor, the day after tomorrow.

Oh, dear.
That's cutting it pretty close.

Let's do it tomorrow,
Please -- tomorrow.

Tomorrow's sunday. It would
Have to be before church.

Okay, so midmorning?

6:00?

6:00? 6:00 in the morning?

Or another day -- I could take
It up with the society.

No, no, 6:00 is fine --
6:00 sharp.

See you then.

Bright and early.

Good night.

Good night. Thanks.

* ...For stars hollow high

* we do or die
For stars hollow high *

* it's the one we fight
And fall for *

* it's the one
We give our all for *
Oh, goody.

* stars hollow high

Whoo!

That is our stars hollow high
Fight song.

Could have sworn
It was mozart.

What is this, guys?

Pit stop!

Whoo!

Bachelor party phase one
Is over.

Our boy dean here
Is tying the knot.

Look, I was just closing up.

Luke!
Dean!

That's funny.
I wasn't even trying.

We just need to refuel
For phase 2, sir.

It won't take long.

You wouldn't turn away a man on
His wedding day, would you?

It's not
Your wedding day yet.

That's what I keep telling him.
It's your last day of freedom.

Hey, we should get
Strippers, right?

And cake.

Hey, my name's luke, too.
We should start a club.

That would be swell.

Look, guys, why don't you go
Sit down over there?

I'll make some coffee.

Tomorrow is the big day,
Man -- big day.

You're tipping there, dean.
Watch him.

I got him, sir.

We really
Appreciate this, sir.

Stop calling me that.

He's a good guy, really.

So, what was phase one?

A case of beer in
The jcpenny parking lot

And batting cages
And laser tag.

I've decided
That I really like beer.

I'm the designated driver.

Good man.

I'm in the navy now.

Uniform tipped me off.

My older cousins did
2-year stints.

It paid for their college
And stuff, so I joined up.

Of course, we weren't fighting
International skirmishes

On two or three dangerous
Fronts like we are now.

[ chuckles ]

Hey. What are you doing?

Sugar football.

Don't.

Come on, guys.
Respect the establishment.

They're still kids.

I got a better idea, guys.

How about I whip up some
Pancakes real fast,

Help soak up whatever
It is you drank?

Sounds good. We'll be
Needing energy for phase two.

Strippers, right?
We got to get strippers.

Hey, how much
Do you give a stripper?

Well, that depends
On what she does.

Are they really prostitutes?

'cause I'd feel bad
If they were prostitutes.

Guys, I got to go in the back
For a couple seconds.

Don't drink anymore.
Don't play jets.

Don't jump on the furniture.
Just sit still, okay?

And do what?

Make up a dirty version of the
Fight song or something.

Yeah!

Great idea!

Rory.

What did he say?

Oh, he is so toasted.

Rory.

Did he say
What I think he said?

Guys, you know
What I think?

I think it's real late,

And that maybe you ought
To cancel phase two.

Hey, no way.

Hear him out, fellas.

Think about it, guys --
How you gonna beat laser tag?

Aw, is dean sick?

He just needs his rest.

Why don't you march
Your friends out of here?

I'll take care of the groom,
And he'll see you all tomorrow.

He's right, guys.
Let's saddle up.

Aren't we getting
Pancakes?

I'm not feeling good.

Come on, big guy.
Try to walk.

* ...For stars hollow high

Here we are.

Okay.

She's smart, man.
You know, she's so smart.

I know, I know.

She could probably
Fix the world, you know?

Right, she could team up with
Kyle -- her brains, his brawn.

No, not kyle -- rory.

Almost there.

She's the one, you know?

Come on, dean,

Just slide down there,
Stop talking.

And the hair -- pretty hair.

She has the prettiest hair,
And the head.

What is that?

Just your shoes. Shh.

I miss her.

[ sighs ]

Why didn't she love me?

Scrubbing shower grout
With a toothbrush.

Flossing with that really,
Really fine floss

That cuts between your teeth
Like a razor.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Staring into the sun.

Till you're blind.

I feel very
Ugly this morning.

Join the crowd.

That unpleasant man
And his cohorts in there?

And have been for about
30 freaking minutes.

Watching a foreign movie
Without subtitles.

Getting brain freeze
From eating ice cream.

What are you doing?

We're listing all the things
We'd rather be doing than this.

What a mug.
It's like he sucked a lemon.

I've really growing
To hate him.

Nice, huh?

Oh, so much potential.

Yeah.

It needs a lot of tlc.

And we've got an abundance
Of it, taylor.

Patty, please, help. Help.

He's killing me here,
And you've got pull with him.

Oh, honey, I got my own
Remodeling to do on my studio

That taylor has to approve.

I'm saving my pull for me.

Can I have just a little teeny,
Tiny bit of your pull, please?

Oh, he's gonna
See us talking.

Lorelai,
Consultation, please.

Okay.

This porch
Is falling apart.

I know.

It's got live termites.
Big, fat ones.

It's a safety hazard.
It's the first thing to go.

To go?
This porch can't go.

You just said
It's falling apart.

I didn't tell you
To tear it down.

It's historical.
It has to stay.

The porch is not historical.
It was added in 1980.

So?

It's a 23-year-old porch.

Unless you think kate hudson is
Historical, it's not historical.

Not now,
But how do you think we get

Historical 200-year-old
Structures

If we tear them down
When they're just 23?

Uh, it's rotting away.

Which just means that your
Guests can't walk on it.

They should hover over it?

No, you could build
A bridge over it,

Using appropriate materials.

Or you could build

A transparent lucite porch
Over this porch,

So people could walk
On the lucite porch

And see the old porch
Underneath the new porch.

Build a clear plastic porch
Over the rotting wood porch?

With the proper permits,
And those are hard to come by.

That's it.

Lorelai, watch it.
I've got church later.

What did I do to make you
Torture me like this?

I don't know what you're
Talking about.

The hoops -- the jumping
And the fire and the hoops.

It's just business, lorelai.

I pay to shop in your store.
I eat your banana splits.

I've never
Physically hurt you

Except for that one spit wad
In the one town meeting,

But I didn't mean for it to hit
Your eye, and I apologize,

So put me out of my misery

And tell me what I need to do to
Make this thing happen!

I want an ice-cream truck.

I want to sell ice cream off
A truck in the summer.

I want to park it in front
Of the soda shop.

I want to ring the bell on it
Every day at noon,

But the only place
I can park it

Is the space that's partly
In front of luke's diner.

So?!

You have pull with luke.
You're friends.

You can get him to agree
To this.

Use my pull.
If you don't mind.

If I get luke to agree to this,
The madness stops?

If that's what you want
To call it.

The work begins
And the porch goes?

All expedited,
Nice and neat.

An ice-cream truck?

An ice-cream truck.

You can go.

Well, this has been
A very successful outing.

Back on the bus, everyone.

Unbelievable.

Yep. Hey, when
Do you think you'll --

Shortcut to luke's.

How is she going to get over
Potter's creek?

Jump it?

[ panting ]

Give him his
Ice-cream truck.

What?

I forged a stream, and I almost
Got attacked by a beaver,

And I'm not leaving here
Till you agree.

To what?

You don't own the street.
You own the building.

It's a public street.
Let him park his stupid truck.

I'm missing something here.

Don't change the subject.
I don't know what
The subject is.

If you let taylor park his
Stupid ice-cream truck --

Not in front of the diner, but
In front of part of the diner,

Then I can start work
On the inn.

But if you don't say yes,

Then you may not have to see
His truck parked outside,

But you will have to see my body
Swinging from that tree,

Because I will hang myself.

I am waiting
For your answer.

Sure.

"Sure" what?

He can park it there.
What do I care?

Oh, don't kid around here.

Your life's at stake.
I wouldn't kid around.

Why'd you say no before --
When taylor asked you before?

He never asked me before.

He never asked?

Not about a truck --

About a giant ice-cream cone
A few months back.

I said no to that.

Probably why he thought
I'd say no to the truck.

He never asked?

No.

But you're fine with this,
And he could have asked?

It's a public street.

And you would have said yes.

I'd have said yes.

And I wouldn't have had
To go through all this.

Probably not.

I've learned something
Very valuable here today.

Come on in. Sit down there.
Take a load off.

Very valuable.

Good.

I've had
A business epiphany.

It's like I'm bud fox,

Saying, "Thanks
For the lesson, mr. Gekko."

This will pass, folks.

The lorelai you knew is dead.
Remember her?

Eager to please,
Fresh of face?

She thought that success
In business meant working hard,

Applying yourself, and
Respecting your coworkers.

And she preached that
To others -- oh, little child.

You should probably
Get some rest.

It's about scratching backs,
My friend, and kissing things --

I won't be graphic.

It is sunday morning.

It's dirty --
That's what business is.

It's smoke-filled back rooms
With exposed pipes

And shady players chewing
On fat cigars

And twirling their
Dirty moustaches.

And when you go into
Those rooms,

You can't be
A milquetoast muppet.

You have to have pointy teeth
And jaws that snap.

The meek shall not
Inherit the earth!

Thanks for the perspective.

Do you have any coffee?

I'm not giving you coffee.

I don't have time
For coffee.

I got to go find taylor
And close this deal.

You think he's back
At the store?

Or having his dirty
Mustache cleaned.

You're good with the truck?
I'm good with the truck.

Bless you.

I'll be right with you,
Folks.

So, you're up.

Yeah.

I'm up.

It took me a minute or two to
Figure out where I am, but...

No, that's all right.
You've never been here before.

Yeah, it's not
That I remember.

I just looked out the window,
And that's how I could tell.

Good. Smart.

Little concoction of mine --
It'll help with the hangover.

[ coughs ]

Guess I had a beer or two too
Many last night, huh?

Yeah, it happens.

Hope the guys
Didn't bug you too much.

No, no, they were fine.

Good.

So, you're
All dressed there?

Yeah, uh, you know, big day --
Getting married.

Getting married.

Um, I'm due in the church
In about an hour.

Hey, uh, dean --

And I-I still got
To pick up my tux.

Yeah, right.

Um...

Thanks for
Everything, luke.

Yeah, sure.

Good luck.

[ door opens ]

So, a total
Strikeout, huh?

Total. And, you know, at first,
I felt bad for them --

So lacking in talent,
Yet so clueless.

Then I just felt bad
For their guitars.

Where are all the good young
Musicians these days?

My ears wanted
To fly off my head.

I'm going to the music store to
Look at things I can't afford.

Want to come?

I have to go get
Ready for this.

Tell me how it goes.

I will. Hey, luke.

Hey, rory, um,
Where's your mom?

Uh, around somewhere. Why?

I thought
I'd find her at doose's.

Did she go back
To the inn, or...

She was
Going back to the inn,

Then she was picking up a
Wedding present for dean,

Because she hates it when
People send gifts later.

I was either gonna meet her back
At home or at the church.

She have her cell on her?

I think it's dead.
What's going on?

Or a pager or something?

Is something wrong?

No, I just need to check
Something with her.

We can stop by
After the wedding.

Don't go to the wedding.
Don't go to dean's wedding.

Why?

I just -- don't go.

Trust me.

Okay.

It'd just
Be better this way.

Okay.

So, you're not going?

I guess not.

Okay, good. Good.
I'll see you guys later.

Yeah, luke,
I'll see you later.

Okay.

Lorelai,
Do you have a minute?

Oh, sure, kirk.

We've had a successful
Disconnection -- no more alarm.

Fantastic.

The roofer
Will be out tomorrow.

The repair should
Take about a day.

It's all taken care of,

And I want to apologize
For any inconvenience.

Aw, it was no big deal.

I have this strong
Sense of chivalry

When it comes to women
Living alone.

My family tree dates back
To a 12th-century knight.

As a kid,

I thought that meant
We were related to ted knight.

I wrote him a lot of letters.
He never responded.

That's cute, though.

I just
Want you to feel safe.

You really do,
Don't you, kirk?

So, I hope you don't mind
My watching out for you.

Not at all.

[ chuckles ]

Thank you.
I'll see you around.

See you.

Hey.

Hey, I think I found the perfect
Wedding present for dean --

Sweet, not too personal,
Classy, yet cheap.

We're not going.

Luke was looking for you
And ran into me,

And he was all nervous,

And then he finally just
Said we shouldn't go.

What does that mean?

I think it means that
We shouldn't go.

I'll go talk to him.

No, he seemed really serious,

And I think if you saw him
You'd feel the same way.

He was kind of upset.

About dean's wedding?

Yeah.

So, we're not going?

I think
It's better we don't.

Okay. Mystery, though.

Well, you've got your
"Nothing to do" weekend back.

Yeah, got that back.

Um...

Mom, kirk's following us
In a little clowny car.

He's watching out for us.

Okay.

Ready?

No, no, it's got to look

Like we're actually
Demolishing the porch.

We're gonna
Do pretend swings.

Which would have been easier
If we had pretend sledgehammers.

Why do they make
These so heavy?

Even without the swing,
This is a good picture

Of the two of you about to
Record an important moment

For the two of you.

Um, michel --

I would love a copy of this
For my mantel --

Such a nice moment.

You have to be in
The picture, too, michel.

Me? I don't know.
All right.

That thing have
A timer on it?

It's set.
I framed the shot.

Grab your hammer and smile.

One more for safety?

Okay.

What?

Just sometimes, it hits me.

This place had
A long history before us,

Has a long future after us.

I keep thinking it's
A part of our lives,

But, really,
It's the reverse.

For a little while --
I don't know --

It's like we're a part
Of its life.

Yeah.

[ cheers and applause ]

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