All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E03 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Hey, you know what's great about
You going off to college?

My newfound independence?

No. My new batch of
Youth-oriented catalogs.

For example, where on earth
Could I put

This fabulous
Purple-flowered rug?

It's so cool, but doesn't
Really go with my room, so...

My room.

The matching beanbag chair
Arrives next week.

I love it
When you miss me!

It's just since
You've been gone,

I finally realized how the
Living room stayed so clean.

What do you think?
It works.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Sookie sent
Marshmallow cookies,

Luke sent muffins,

And I got you a copy of
The stars hollow gazette.

You don't have to bring that.
I subscribed.

You subscribed to
The stars hollow gazette?

The editor does not subscribe
To the stars hollow gazette.

I don't want to get
Cut off from the town.

That's very sweet of you.

You want to grab some coffee
Before I head back?

Can't.
It's shopping week.
Isn't it always?

The first week of school's
Called shopping week.

You get to try out as many
Classes as you want

Before you pick the ones
You want to stick with.

I picked over 50 classes
I'm gonna try out,

Plus another 10 I'm gonna
Squeeze in if I have the time.

They all sound
Completely amazing.

I stayed up all night

Reading the class subscriptions
Over and over.

You do know that
If you weren't so pretty,

You would have gotten the crap
Kicked out of you

Every day of your life.
Walk me out?

Because you
Need the protection.

What time
Is your first class?

You know, soon.

Uh-oh.
What?

You're not gonna rush
To your first class

And get there an hour early,
Are you?

No.
You are.

I am not.

When you started
Elementary school,

You told me the teacher wanted
To meet all the parents at 6:30,

And when we got there,
The school wasn't open yet.

I did that once.

No, you got
Away with it once.

You tried it every year.

If you took all the time
You wasted

Being early
For things...The...

What?
My mother was here.

What?!

My mother -- she was here.
I can feel it.

Grandma hasn't been here.

Smell that?
Smell what?

The room -- it smells like
Guilt and chanel no. 5.

I'm telling you,
You're wrong.

You put the coffee table
Like that?

No. I have three other
Roommates.

One of them
Probably did it.

Three roommates?
When did the other one come?

Last night.
Her name's janet.

What's she like?

She jogs.
Come on, let's go.

You seriously
Don't smell that?

We can get one cup of coffee,
And then I have to get to class.

I know you're early.
Not that early.

[ sniffs ]

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

[ chuckling ] Freshmen.

Sign and date.

Signing and dating.

Do you have
Your last check stub?

Yeah. Here.
Oh! Remember that?

Income.
Those were the days, huh?

Okay, my hand is cramping,
And I'm done signing now.

Sookie, can you hand me
That screwdriver?

Oh, hey, tomorrow we have to
Meet with ted oldaman

And get our
Liability insurance instated

Before we can break ground
On the inn.

Tom sent over the initial
Proposal for the work.

How much?
Tell you later.

When?
After you blow.

Once you have the baby,
Then you can have the cow.

Okay, I think I got it.

Is it really that much?

I'm going in the nursery.

It's $20,000
More than we thought.

$20,000? That sucks.

I got
The chimney report back.

Oh, shoot!

Hello? Hello?
What is that?

Jackson. He's trying to hook up
The house's central sound system

To the baby monitor.

I'm in the baby's room.

I repeat, I am in
The baby's room. Copy that?

This is probably the cutest
Creepy thing he's done yet.

Can anyone hear me?
I repeat, can anyone hear me?

Yes, jackson!

You're supposed to use
The walkie-talkie.

Roger, jackson.
We're receiving some feedback.

Hello? Sookie?

Jackson,
I'm receiving feed--

Do you hear me?
Sookie?

Yes, I can hear you.

Sookie, just tell me
If you can hear me.

Jackson, I can hear y--

I can hear you just fine!

This system's
Gonna work great.

Why aren't you using
The walkie-talkie?

It's not working.
Here.

Hey, you know,
I have a thought.

It's gonna take some time to
Get the inn up and running.

And until we do,

We have absolutely no money
Coming in whatsoever.

So it's a happy thought.

What do you think about starting
A catering company?

You could plan the events,

The decorations, themes,
And I can cook.

It wouldn't be for very long --
Just until the baby came.

Yes, but --
Okay, here.

Sookie, I'm not really
A party planner.

I've never done that.

What are you
Talking about?

You put on all those beautiful
Weddings at the inn.

And the conventions -- the men
In the hats and the buttons.

Yes, but I had a staff at
The inn, and I had resources.

Oh, come on.

It'll be so fun
To work together again.

Just think about it.

Fine, I'll think about it.
Good.

How long do I have
To think about it?

About a week.

Helen thompson's son,
Aaron,

Is having a birthday party,
And she asked me to cater.

I suggested
That you plan it.

She thought it was
A fabulous idea.

So she offered us the job,
And I just took it.

It's thursday.

She wanted to do it
On aaron's actual birthday.

I thought
That was so sweet.

Helen's like that,
You know?

Yes, I know.

I can call her right now
And tell her no

If that's what you want.

You say the word,
And it's off.

Maybe we could just try this one
Just to see if you like it.

Maybe.

Okay, sookie,
Can you hear me now?

Jackson, I can hear you.

Use the monitor!
Sorry!

Russian economics sucks.

I will make a note.

Tanna?

Tanna!
What?

Where did this come from?
What?

This -- the furniture, the
Couch, the chairs, the rug.

I don't know.

It must have been here
When I got back.

Hello?

I was going to wait
Until you called me,

But my life isn't
As long as yours.

Did you sit on the couch?

I didn't want to get it
Too soft because I knew

You would be studying there as
Well as watching television,

And you would need
A little bit of support.

You did this?

Of course I did it.

My granddaughter's
A yalie now.

She needs to live
Like a yalie.

But how? When?

I snuck in yesterday
When you were in classes

Just to measure to make
Sure everything would fit.

Then I had to butter up your
Dippy freshman counselor

So she'd let the movers in.

Did you look in the
Entertainment center yet?

No.

Oh!

That's a plasma tv
With a vcr and a dvd player.

There's also a five-cd changer
And a turntable,

And the whole thing is wired
In 5.1 surround sound.

I have no idea what that means,
But the man who installed it

Said to get pink floyd's
"Dark side of the moon."

It's supposed to be amazing.

Grandma, this is all really
Sweet, but I have roommates.

This might make them
A little uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable about what?

Well, um...
This is a common room.

It is common to all of us.

Mm-hmm.

There are four of us who
Live here together.

The common room -- it's what
We all have in common.

Oh, just show them
How to use the remote.

I'm sure they'll be fine
With everything.

I worry that by you giving me
All these things,

It kind of makes it my room.

Exactly.
What?

Never underestimate the value
Of the upper hand, rory.

You are in the real world now.
Status matters.

Your grandfather and I
Are very proud of you.

Enjoy the furniture.
We'll see you on friday.

Okay, see you friday.

My grandmother broke in to
Our room and furnished it.

Did she put
That fireplace in, too?

No, tanna, the fireplace
Was always...

Hey, why don't we take a little
Tour of the place, okay?

Great!

Ugh!

They burnt my fries, forgot
To give me extra sauce,

The jeep is making
That crunchy sound again,

And I have to spend my evening
Making elf ears

For aaron thompson's
"Lord of the rings" party.

Grandma broke in to my dorm and
Redid the entire common room

In $25,000 worth of furniture
And stereo equipment.

You win.
You should see this place.

I feel like
I'm in uday's house.

Tell me the whole story.

I came home, and all the normal
Furniture was gone,

And all this stuff
Was in here.

What did
Your roommate's say?

Tanna still doesn't know
She's at yale,

Paris saw it
And said nothing...

Oh, so that's coming.

Janet's out jogging, so I don't
Know what she thinks,

But I have to hope
She's pleased,

'cause that girl's in shape
And can kick my butt.

Make sure there's something she
Likes on tv when she gets home.

Something soothing
To runners --

Maybe something that goes
In a circle over and over.

This is a total invasion
Of privacy.

I know.

She didn't even ask.

She got rid of everything
That was in here.

What if that furniture belonged
To someone and they wanted it?

I don't know
What she was thinking.

She was thinking,
"Rory's life -- mine.

Must cover with chenille."

I can't believe
She'd did this.

Yes, you can.

Come on, it's my mother.
It's emily gilmore.

You've seen her pull stunts
Like this on me for years.

I told you when you borrowed
Money from her

This is what
You were getting into.

I can't believe
You're gloating.

I'm just saying,
When you sleep with dogs,

You wake up with an
Entertainment center.

What do I do?

Well, you could say, "Grandma,
This furniture is very nice.

"I appreciate the gesture,
But this is a dorm room,

"And I cannot guarantee
That the other people

"Will love it
As much as I do.

"I worry about expensive
Equipment getting stolen,

And it's just maybe
Too much right now."

That sounds good.

Then my mother will say,
"Rory, your grandfather and I

"Are paying for you
To go to yale.

"We are enabling you to have
This rarefied education,

"And you're being ungrateful and
Small-minded, and I resent it.

"I am hurt on a level you will
Not be able to understand

"Until you yourself have a
Daughter or a granddaughter

"Who will cut your heart out the
Way you've just cut mine out,

"And I hope that small veneer
Of independence

"That you've extracted
From this incident

"Is worth the total alienation
Of the grandparents

Who have done nothing but love
You and thought of you only."

Or I could keep
The furniture.
Yes, you could.

This is great.

Hon, seriously, if you feel
Strongly, say something.

I just want you to be
Prepared, that's all.

I know.

Take heart in knowing when it
Comes to controlling a person,

My mother targeted my soul,
My independence,

And my entire future,
And at least with you,

She threw in an ottoman.

Emily? I'm home.

I keep wanting to give
This room a little spruce,

But for the life of me,

Every one of these fabrics
Gives me a headache.

What do you think
Of this one?

It's fine.

That's just the sort of
Enthusiasm I was looking for.

Emily,
You have excellent taste.

I'm sure whichever one
You pick will look lovely.

Do you need some ice?

No. A taller glass.

You sound tired.

It's been a very long day.

You know, some men retire.

Yes, and some men tattoo
Their mother's names

On their biceps.

I don't think the two
Are necessarily linked.

I'm fine, emily.

I just need a drink
And a nice meal,

And I'll be good as new.

You got a call
From jason stiles today.

Digger stiles?
What did he want?

To talk to you.

I have nothing
To say to him.

He might have something
Interesting to tell you.

What -- the turncoat company
I used to work for

Is cutting my pension?

The stock they gave me when they
Unceremoniously forced me out

Has been rescinded?

Yes. That, or hello.

He's probably been sent to do
His father's dirty work.

It's not enough to fire me.

They have to continue to harass
Me now that I'm gone.

I thought
You always liked digger.

Yes, I liked digger when he
Was fetching my coffee.

I liked digger when he was
Refilling my stapler.

But I do not like digger now

That he is his father's heir
Apparent and sent to annoy me.

I certainly don't understand
Your need to defend him.

I'm not defending him.

If you don't want to return
The call, don't return his call.

I invited him
Over tomorrow anyway.

You can find out
What he wants then.

You did what?

He was absolutely insistent
That he talk to you.

Why would you do that?

It was the polite thing
To do.

If you don't want him to
Come over, I have his number.

You may call
And disinvite him.

Fine, he can come over,

But he's not staying
For a drink.

He can come in and deliver his
Message and then leave.

Whatever you say.

That's it -- no drink,
No handshake, nothing.

I'll even hide
The liquor bottles

So he doesn't get
Any bright ideas.

It's extremely comforting to
Have such a supportive wife

In times like these.

I'm so glad.

Did you hear?
Hear what?

The first party of the year is
Going to be on our floor.

Technically, it's to celebrate
The first week of classes,

But I'm anticipating the themes
Quickly degenerating to

"Hey, walking works --
Let's drink."

The important thing is
That the first party

Is going to be
On our floor.

Yes, our floor.

The way it works is that
Anyone who wants to be

A part of the party will just
Leave their door open

So people can just
Wander in and out.

What do you think?
About what?

Leaving our door open?

It's the perfect opportunity

To solidify our
Social standing at yale.

It'll virtually
Guarantee invitations

To every other party
Thrown this year,

And we'll get our faces
In people's heads.

I don't know.
What don't you know?

I've explained
The entire thing to you.

I'm not sure I want to
Leave our door open

To a bunch of strangers.

They won't be strangers once
They come in and say "Howdy."

But I'm not sure how
I'm gonna feel that night.

I might be tired.

For god's sakes, grandpa,
You're 18.

Sleep when you're dead.

We can
Still go to the party.

We can meet people, you can
Solidify your social status,

Get your face
In people's heads,

And I can bail
When I feel like it.

Going is passive.

Opening your door,
You are giving the party.

You're responsible for the fun.
People owe you.

Don't you want people
To owe you?

I'm good, actually.

Sure, you're good.
You're fine.

After all, you have all
This fancy furniture

And a big tv
To lord over people.

It's the rest of us
Who are screwed --

The ones whose grandparents
Hadn't thought

To provide
Suck-up furniture.

This is not
Suck-up furniture.

You're being selfish.

You don't care about
Anybody but yourself.

I hate college!

Okay, we've got costumes,
Cutouts, rings,

Fairy necklaces, tree heads.

I'm picking up
Table decorations tomorrow.

Do you need me to order
A "Lord of the rings" cake?

The cake is under control.

Okay, cake's off my list.

So you've got
The menu going, right?

Festive kiddie food, you know,
Like bagel dogs, tater tots,

Mini pizzas, mac and cheese.

You know
What would be great?

Those colored popcorn balls.

Rory used to go mental
Over those things.

How many adults
Are gonna be there?

Probably about 10.

Okay.

Hi.

Hey.

Okay, so I've scoured
The entire store,

And here's what we got.

Horn of gondor...

Legolas' bow,
And a cape.

Cape for who?

There's 4,000 people in
That movie who wear capes --

You can't pick one?
Wow, you're crabby.

I wore a bracelet
To school today.

My parents were called.

There was a special service
In chapel, and I've been ordered

To a soul-searching seminar
Next week.

I'll be sitting between the
Nail-polish-wearing girl

And the spicy condiment
User.

I'm sorry. Leave the horn,
The bow, and the bill.

Right.

Hello?

I need to talk to you
About rory.

Paris?

She's not adjusting well.
I'm concerned about her.

The socialization process in
College is vitally important.

The connections we make here
Can last a lifetime.

They can alter the course
Of our future.

That's how important
They are.

I'm sure it's tempting to
Emotionally stunt your daughter

So she'll move back home
And take care of you

In your old age, but I thought
You wanted better for her.

Paris, did something happen
Between you and rory?

She won't open the door
For the party.

There's a party on our floor,
And if you open your door,

You get to be a part of it,
But she won't open the door

Because she's busy
Being heidi's grandfather.

If you were a real mother --

Paris,
You called my mother?!

Well, you wouldn't
Listen to me.

Give me that phone!
Hello?

Hi, honey, how's school?

I'm rooming with
A stephen king novel.

What's she talking about?

Just some ridiculous party.

I don't want to let
A million strangers

Traipse through my room,
So she's having a meltdown.

Sorry she bothered you.
I'm gonna kill her.

Remember, you cut off one head,
She'll just grow another.

Tell me about the party.

It's just a "First week
Of class" kind of thing.

You going?
Maybe.

It might not be
Such a bad idea

To get to know the people
In your building,

See who's gonna have the
Emergency pop-tarts on hand.

I'll get to know them.

Party might be kind
Of a fun way to do it.

Are you telling me to let paris
Open the door to the world?

I'm not telling you
Anything.

I just want to make sure that
At the end of four years,

You've not only read
Every book in the library,

You've also had
Some fun.

I will have fun.

I can see you the night of the
Party holing up in your room

With a book for
The entire evening.

You know when I do that,
I'm not hiding. I enjoy it.

And I'm making friends --
You saw me make friends.

I know, but I'm not just talking
About making friends.

I'm talking about
Experiencing things.

Parties, football games,
Protests, barn burnings.

Very big amongst
The kids these days.

Those are all experiences.

Maybe dumb experiences,
But you never know

When you're accidentally gonna
Stumble across something

That could be...
Something.

Fine, I'll open the door.

Paris: yes!
This isn't for you!

Like I care
About the reason.

You might have fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call me later.

If I don't,
I'm sure paris will.

Tell her thanks for me.
I will not!

What do you think?

What is that?

You said I could borrow
Something to wear to the party.

Yeah, I did, but that's
My chilton uniform.

My mom probably threw it in
For a joke.

It's my high-school uniform.
I wore it every day to...

You know, there's a tie in there
That goes with it.

Okay, I've scoped out
The other open rooms,

And no one seems to have copped
A clear identity yet,

Which leaves the field
Wide open.

So what do you think
We should be?

We've got a lot of seating, so
We could be the make-out room.

We could crank the stereo up
And push the furniture aside

And be the dance room.

Or we could throw down some
Towels and be the keg room.

I don't want an identity.

You already made me
Open the door.

We're the open-door room.
That's it.

How about some low lighting
And some candles?

We could be the
Meaningful-conversation room.

No themes.

No one knows me here,
Rory.

Do you understand
What that means?

It means
I can start all over.

I can wipe out
The last 18 years

And introduce people to
The new paris geller --

The fun paris geller.

I just want everything to be
Different this year, that's all.

One candle.

Thank you, thank you.

No, seriously,
Give me the ring.

No way.
5 bucks.

No.
Just let me hold it.

Forget it.

I promise I'll give it
Right back...

[ imitating gollum ]
My precious.

I mean, roger.
You're crazy.

What?! You're the one with
The pointy ears, my friend.

Here we go.

I'd like you to meet redmond
And riley james.

Redmond, riley,
Nice to meet you.

I'm julie,
Your cruise director.

I'm here to help you
With your costumes.

I want to be legolas.

I want to be gimli.

I want to be gimli, too.

Two gimlis coming up.

Lorelei, my hood is loose!

Her name's julie,
Stupid.

No, it's not, retard!

She just told us
Her name was julie.

She's our cruise director.

What's a cruise director?

I don't know, but you
Fart with your face.

Love, guys. Love, okay?

"Lord of the rings"
Is all about the love.

Nuh-unh, it's about the
Destruction of all mankind.

And who doesn't love that?
You're fixed.

Go play -- lovingly.

Lorelei, some of the kids
Are asking for swords.

Did you bring swords?
Oh, no, I didn't.

Thank god.

Oh, the raymonds --
I forgot we made up.

Will you excuse me?
Absolutely.

Riley said only boy hobbits can
Travel to mount doom.

Is that true?

In the movie, only boy hobbits
Travel to mount doom,

But that's only because
The girls went to do

Something even more
Dangerous.
What?

Have you ever heard of a
Brazilian bikini wax?

Lorelei!
Great, you're here.

Girls go on adventures,
Too?

And they go in heels.

Good.

Are rawley and cheech here?

They've been chopping away
For an hour.

Perfect. Wow, there is
A full house, isn't there?

You have enough costumes?

We're good -- the screen's up,
The tables are set,

And four kids are crying,
So we're right on schedule.

I better get
In the kitchen.

All right, because it's coming
Up on elevenses

And the hobbits are hungry,
Right?

Right!Right!
Right!Right!

I'm going, I'm going.

Hey, who wants a sword?

Me!Me!
Me!Me!

Well, jason stiles,
Look at you.

Look at me -- look at you.
I just got a trainer.

You have cheated god.

You're already starting
With the flattery.

I apologize. It is
Lovely to see you, emily.

It's lovely to see you,
Also.

Did you sell your soul
To the devil or...

How's your mother?

She's exactly the same.

And her horses?

Have a better life
Than I do.

Well,
Richard is in his study.

I would expect no less.

Come in.

There's someone here
To see you.
Hello, richard.

I appreciate you
Taking the time to do this.

Well,
I'll leave you two alone.

Jason, be sure and say
Goodbye before you leave.

I'll do that.

So, how have you been?

Fine.
May I sit?

Your choice.

I hear your business
Is going well.

You hear correctly.

No reason for it
Not to be going well.

You were always the best.

Is that what you came here
To tell me --

How competent
I was at my job?

Nope, I came here
To make you a proposition.

Go ahead and make it.

I want to be your partner.

Excuse me?

I want to join forces
With you --

You know, put a desk in your
Office, get a copy of the key,

Maybe snag some of that fancy
Stationery to write on.

You're not serious.

I'm prepared
To buy my way in.

I am also prepared to bring
All of my current clients,

And that should be
Appealing to you,

Even if sharing an office and
Parting with stationery is not.

Think about it.

I could make your company
An instant contender

With my youth and clients

And your reputation
And respectability.

It's a pretty interesting
Package, don't you think?

You want
To become my partner.

You want to pay me
And bring a whole slew

Of high-paying
Clients with you.

You keep leaving out
The stationery.

Thank you for coming,
Jason.

Is something wrong?

Yes, something's wrong.

I don't appreciate you
Wasting my time.

I didn't know that I was.

Am I such a joke to you

That you feel you can take my
Time away from important things?

You were the best my
Father's company ever had.

You're damn right I was
The best that company had,

And now I am the best
Competition they will ever have.

Not yet.
But with me, you could be.

Why? Why would you think

I'd believe you
Were serious about this?

When was the last time I stuck
A whoopee cushion on your chair?

Your father started
That company.

He made that company.
With you.

You've been working there
Since you were a kid.

All the way through harvard,
You worked there.

You've been groomed to take
That company over,

And now you're telling me
You want to leave? Why?

Because I want to do
Something on my own.

I want to work someplace that
Hasn't known me since I was 6.

I'd like to get through
An entire day

Without being called
"Digger."

And I really, really
Want to piss off my dad.

You what?

Can you imagine his face?

No, really, take a moment.

Picture it.

I walk into his office.

He's sitting in his enormous
Red-leather chair.

I say, "Dad, I am leaving.

"I am taking all of my
High-paying clients with me.

"I'm getting into business
With richard gilmore,

The man you forced out
To make room for me."

Can you see that face?

I can see it.

It's a pretty good face,
Isn't it?

It is rather satisfying.

So...

What do you say?

You hate your father
That much?

I don't hate him.
I just don't want to be him.

Jason, would you care
To join me for a drink?

Gladly.

Emily, jason's going to
Join us for a drink.

He is? Well, how nice.

Richard, would you mind
If I borrow your phone?

Not at all.
You can use the one in my study.

Thank you.
I'll be right out.

So, I see your meeting
Went well.

It was actually
Very interesting.

He wants to be
My business partner.

What?! What about his father
And his company?

He wants to leave.
He wants to work with the best.

Well, good for digger.

Well, I always did
Like that boy.

So what did you say?

I told him I would
Have to think about it.

I mean, it's not as if I need
Anyone working with me.

Things are going very well.

I'm building a very solid
Client base.

It would be nice for you not
To have to work so hard.

I don't mind hard work,
Emily.

I know you don't mind it.

I just said it would be nice if
You didn't have to do it.

Jason's a very nice boy.

Yes, he is.

He is a very nice boy.

What are you doing?

I'm getting the tables ready.
They were ready.

No, ready for the food.

They were ready
For the food.
No, they weren't.

Yes, they were.
I set them myself.

But where were
The tablecloths?

Right here.

They're paper.

Yes, they are.

There's monsters on them.

No, they're "Lord of the rings"
Characters,

Which is rather appropriate,

Since this is
A "Lord of the rings" party.

So this is the table?
Yep.

And the paper cups
And plates...

All there on purpose.

I thought you just put them up
For the kids to see.
And use.

But the chafing dish
Looks so much better

On the white tablecloth.

You shouldn't have
A chafing dish out here.

Why not?

Because a chafing dish
Has a candle,

And a candle has a flame,

And a kid could stick his finger
In there and get hurt.

Isn't that how they learn?

Let's heat things up
In the kitchen.
Fine.

You made brie.

Ooh. With lavender honey
And bourbon-sugared pecans.

I thought it would go nicely
With the crudités platter.

Please tell me you
Made food for the kids.

I did make food
For the kids.

These kids --
Not the romanov kids.

It just put these out in case
Anyone over the age of 10

Gets hungry.

There are parents here,
Too, you know?
I know.

Parents whose responsibility it
Would be to keep their kid

From hitting another kid

Or putting their fingers under
The chafing dish.

Sookie...
Fine.

Hey, having a good time?

I'm paris geller,
Suite five.

It's open.

It's got a candle -- perfect for
Some deep conversation.

Prepare two to five subjects
To discuss

So that the conversation doesn't
Lag and totally ruin the vibe.

Party on.

I did a survey of all the rooms,
And by far, ours is the best.

Great.
Three is
Way too cluttered.

Four has developed
A weird smell.

Two was a contender until I
Started telling everyone

That the girl who lives
There was wait-listed.

I'm gonna get out there
And mingle.

This is a great party.

Rory!

Oh, my god!

Madeline, louise,
What are you doing here?

Party, baby.

I thought you were supposed
To be at mills.

No more mills?

Mills went bye-bye before
I unpacked my shoes.

She's been hanging out
At tulane with me.

I love new orleans.

I am so southern.
What are you doing here?

We found out where all the
"First week" parties were,

And we're making the rounds.
We hit harvard next.

That's where
My boyfriend goes.

You're dating a harvard man?

He's gonna be a writer.
He hopes.

Right now, he's totally freaked
That "The simpsons"

Are going to be off the air
By the time he graduates.

It's good to see you guys.
Paris is around here somewhere.

I hope she's in back
Of that guy over there

Because that's where
I'm heading.

We'll be back.

Good luck.

Are you rory gilmore?

Yes, I'm rory gilmore.

Rory -- what can we
Do with that?
Ro-ro?

A last name can help.
Ro-gil? Gil-roy?

What are you doing?

Giving you a nick.

Do I know you?

We get so ahead of ourselves.
I'm kick.

I'm mickey. Your grandmother
Emily told us to look you up.

She's tight with our mom.
D.A.R. Darling.

When she heard we were going to
Yale, she laid down the law...

To look you up
And make sure you fell in

With the right crowd...
Which would be us.

We never settled
On a nickname.

I think we're still trying
The last-first combo.

I appreciate you seeking me out,

And it was really nice
Meeting you,

But I actually have to go
Find my roommate.

Do you have a middle name?
Yes, that might help!

What's your birthday?

Oh, astrological nickname!

Very in. Very in.

Seating.

Great fabric.

This is the furniture
Emily bought.

That's right.
That woman does have taste.

I wish she'd talk to mom.

Then we wouldn't have to.

Did mom tell you
About christmas?!

Yes. Hawaii.

Can't even imagine what was
Going through her mind.

Walt disney could not imagine
What was going through her head.

Really want the guy that
Pumps your gas voting?

That is what america
Is about.

What ignorance!
You're the ignorant one.

I had a terrible dream
The other night

That everything they say
About sunscreen is true.

I have had that dream.

I don't think I'm having fun.

Party's not over yet.

What's with
The gabor sisters?

Friends
With my grandmother.

Great. Everybody has a group
But me.

What are you talking about?

Janet's a runner,

So she'll automatically be
In the jock group.

Tanna's a freak, so she'll be
In the john nash group.

You've got your grandmother's
Obligation friends.

I'm stuck over there listening
To a bad talk-radio session.

This sucks.

We could kick everyone out
And just go to bed.

No. I'll just have to try
A little harder.

I'm determined.

Things are going to be
Different this year.

Hey.

Pierce my ear.

Okay, everybody out, now!

This room is closed.

Take your gross beer

And your inane conversations
Somewhere else. Move!

What's going on?
I don't know.

Looks like my roommate's
Kicking everybody out.

Hey, bim and bim, up.
Let's move, now.

Sorry. She's my roommate.
What can I do? Call me.

Lorelei, some of the kids
Are starting to get hungry.

I think we should have
The food ready to go

The minute
The movie's over.

I'll get right on that.

Oh, hey, helen wants us
To put the food on.

One step ahead of you.
Good, good.

So,
What do we have here?

A little lemon-garlic aioli
For the blanched veggies.

Think I should put
The assorted charcuteries

On this table or this one?

Which one
Is the kids' table?

There are no
Designated tables.

I'm mixing and matching here.

Oh, perfect.
Right here.

Well, hello, gorgeous.
What's your name?

Oh, boy. Wow.
I'm hungry.

Would you like
Some gravlax?
Some what?

Sookie,
Where's the kids' food?

Okay, you need to relax.

I haven't put
The kids' food out yet

Because you wouldn't let me use
The chafing dishes

And I didn't want the food
To get cold.

What did you just do?

You just stuck that carrot
In your mouth

And then put it back
On the platter.

Why would you do that?

It tastes like diapers.

It does not
Taste like diapers.

Honey, go sit down.

I'll call you
When dinner's ready.

You take it back!

What are you doing?

Where is it?
Where is what?

The food that doesn't
Taste like diapers?

You mean the kids' food?
Yes. Did you make any?

You know,
I booked this gig.

I'm the one who came to you
And said,

"Hey, you want to cater
A kids' party with me?"

Here's the children's food

For the children's
Birthday party, okay?

It's macaroni and cheese.

It's green.
Why is it green?

Because I made it with a
Jalapeño-chipotle cream sauce.

Kids aren't gonna eat this.

When they try it --
They won't try it.

Why not?
Because it's green.

You haven't even offered it
To them yet.

They may surprise you.
Where is the rest of it?

The rest of what?
The rest of the kid food.

This is it.
Sookie!

They're small!
How much can they eat?!

We talked about this.

I mentioned hot dogs and
Pizza puffs and chips.

I told you
To make popcorn balls.

Where the hell
Are the popcorn balls?

You were serious
About that?

[ gasps ] Oh, my god!

Is that the cake?

Of course it's the cake.

You think I would go to a
Birthday party without a cake?

What kind of cake is it,
Sookie?

Chocolate...

With a rum-raisin,
Tropical-fruit ganache.

Okay, um, cheech?

Here.

Go to doose's and get,

Like, five boxes
Of frozen mini pizzas

And five boxes of those pigs
In a blanket

And all the
Chips you can find.

Then go to westin's,
Get a couple dozen cupcakes,

And have mamie give you a couple
Of big bags of jimmies --

Chocolate,
Rainbow, whatever.

What are you doing?

We'll have them decorate their
Own cupcakes.

They'll love it.
Okay, go.

We're going to
Serve them cupcakes.

Maybe they have something
To tide them over

For a little while.

Hey, hey,
I'm talking, here.

I know. Just relax.
It's gonna be fine.

I know it's gonna be fine

Because I've been
Cooking all week long.

I made four different cakes
Before choosing

That particular one.

So, yeah, I know
It's gonna be fine.

But the kids
Won't eat that.

I'm getting a little tired
Of you telling me

What the kids won't eat.

You are supposed to
Plan the party,

And I'm supposed to do
The cooking.

That's the arrangement.

But you have to think
About the client.

I am thinking
About the client.

That cake is incredible.

Not if you're
An 8-year-old.

How do you know?
Because I had an 8-year-old,

And she hung out with
Other 8-year-olds,

And my taste now is not that
Different from an 8-year-old.

You can't just walk in
And take over.

That's not the arrangement.
You're not in charge here.

We're partners.
I know that.

I'm a great chef.

A great chef does not have

The client decorate
His own cupcakes.

Can I have a juice box?

Hey, we're talking!

Oh, yeah...

What's the matter
With her?

Is she sick?
Why is her mouth open?

Lorelei,
Look at her face.

Hi, honey.
There's your juice.

It's grape.
Do you like grape?

Me, too! It makes
Your tongue all purple.

Take your juice and go watch the
Rest of the movie, all right?

You look very nice
In your costume.

Okay, sookie, I didn't mean
To just take over like that.

I felt a crisis coming on,
So I snapped into

Problem-solving mode,
And I didn't think.

I can't do this.
Yes, you can.

We just need to be clearer
On the menu next time.

No, not this.
This.

Isn't it a little late?

You saw me
With that little girl.

And her face --
I made that face.

You were upset.

This is not right.
This is all wrong.

I don't want to
Be pregnant anymore.

What are you gonna do --
Walk it off?

Sookie, sookie...

Hey, hey...
Where are you going?

A child
Is not a duvet cover.

You can't just take it back
If it doesn't like you.

Duvet covers notoriously like
Whoever they go home with.

They're like
Golden retrievers.

You know what happens
When kids don't like you?

They tie you to a chair.
They brain you with a bat.

They set fire to the house
And blame it on the neighbors.

Wow, now you can't have kids
Or live next door to them.

I don't know
How to talk to them,

I don't know
How to feed them,

I cover up their party cloths,
And I set their fingers on fire.

Just this once.

I make them eat
Jalapeño-chipotle cream sauce.

I'm mommie dearest.

Back in the kitchen.

No, I can't go back.
I've got hummus in there.

Come on.

God knows
What I'll do with it!

Okay, hey, rawley, could you
Just go make sure

The kids have enough soda?

Okay.
You just have to calm down.

I can't have it.
Yes, you can.

No, I can't.
I'm gonna fail.

Get it out, get it out,
Get it out!

Stop. Breathe. Drink.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Kids don't like me, and I'm
Not so sure I like them.

You'll like your kid.

You know at family gatherings
When everyone goes

Into the living room, gathers
Around, watches the kids?

I read.

Jackson's sister
Has a little girl.

She likes to get up
In front of the family

And sing
Mariah carey songs.

I heckle. I have no desire
To play with them.

Easter egg hunts bore me.

I have never borrowed
The neighbor's kid

To look after
For the afternoon.

Good.
That's called kidnapping.

"Come on, jackson,
Let's have a baby.

I want to be a mommy."
I'm pathetic.

You're not pathetic.

I'm gonna be a bad mother.

I should not be a parent.

Sookie...Look at me.

There are many people
In this world

Who should not
Have been parents.

Mr. And mrs. Hitler,
For example.

The bin ladens could have
Watched tv that night.

Richard and emily might have
Taken a pass at procreating.

But you -- no way.

You're gonna be
A great parent.

Yeah?

Yeah.

How do you know?

Because I know you,

And I watched you with rory
When she was growing up.

Well,
Who could not like rory?

You're gonna be amazing.

That little boy of yours
Is very lucky.

Okay.

It is gonna be okay.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

I'm really, really okay.

Yeah.

Someone threw up
On the table.
Oh, god.

I'm okay. I'm just gonna go
Over there and be...Okay.
Good idea.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm on the floor.

You were sleeping.

I have no clothes on.

No, you don't.

I'm on the floor,
I have no clothes on,

And you're a girl,
So I must be...

On the wrong floor.
Oh, boy.

Where's your room?

I think up.
Are we on the first floor?

Yes.
Then up.

Any idea how long
I've been here?
No.

So you have no idea how many
People have walked by while I...

Sorry.
Great.

Now for the rest of my time
At yale,

I'm gonna be
"The naked guy."

And you know
What's really great?

Tomorrow, when the
"Naked guy" nickname

Starts spreading around campus
Like wildfire,

I'm gonna be in my third hour
Of throwing up.

It's been really quiet out here
For a while now,

So there's a chance
That no one but me

Has actually seen you yet.

I promise
I won't say anything.

And if there's a chance
That you could refrain

From being naked again in the
Wrong hallway at the next party,

Then there's a chance
You might get

A completely different nickname,
Like "The never-naked guy."

You're a very kind person.

Wait. Hold on.

You can borrow this.

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, weren't you in my
Japanese fiction class today?

Yeah, that's right.

I thought so.

Hi, I'm, uh...Marty.

Um...Rory.

I won't remember
That tomorrow.

That's
Perfectly understandable.

I should probably try and
Find my room and my pants.

That's where I kept my keys.

So pants first.

Right. Pants first.

Night.

Yep.

I'm officially stupider
Than my brother.

I never thought
That would happen.

Hi.

I decided
I'm going to do it.
To do what?

I'm going to go in there,

And I'm going to tell grandma
That she's going to

Butt out of my life.

Mm-hmm.

Can I -- [ sniffing ]
Just checking.

So you have soberly decided
To confront my mother?
Yes.

Are you sure
You want to do this?
Yes.

All right,
Then I support you 100%.

Just make sure you wait
For the right moment.

Oh,
The right moment is now.

The right moment arrived
In a big pink hat

Full of feathers screaming,
"Notice me because I am here!"

Well, if it
Was wearing a hat...

There they are.
Hi, mom.

Come in.

I tell you, this day has been
An absolute circus.

I misplaced every single
Thing I needed --

My grocery list, my ticket
For the shoe repair.

It was a nightmare.
What will you girls have?

Wait for the moment.

Grandma, I have to talk
To you about something.

Yes, rory, what is it?

I have an announcement.

I am going into business
With jason stiles.

Who?

You've met him --
The stiles boy.
Oh, digger.

Nobody's called him digger
In years, lorelei.

I just got off the phone.

We're going to get together
Later and hash out the details.

Richard,
That is wonderful.

I didn't know you were
Looking for a partner.

He wasn't.
Jason came to him.

He said he wanted to strike out
On his own,

He wanted
To work with the best,

And he wanted to
Screw over his father.

What?
Excuse me, rory.

You never
Told me about this.

I was a bit surprised
At the beginning,

But I have to admit
That when he told me

That part of his motive was
Revenge, I was intrigued.

No, I was tickled.
I thought it was wonderful.

What a wonderful world we live
In that the son of my enemy

Hates his father, and then
I benefit from it all.

It's downright elizabethan.

I don't think this
Is very funny, richard.

No, I suppose not.
However, I can't stop smiling.

I don't think you should go
Into business with this boy.

Oh, now, emily...

He's obviously
Very troubled.

You certainly don't need
To hand over your business

To a troubled youth.

He's 37 years old.
Yes, he's 37 years old,

And all he can think about is
How to get back at his father.

I don't understand
That kind of thinking.

You know floyd --
He's horrible.

He is the boy's father.

He raised him. He clothed him.
He fed him.

He does not deserve
To be paid back

For all of his love
And devotion like this.

Why are you
Getting so upset?

I don't want to talk
About it anymore.

Oh, emily, be reasonable.

I never liked that digger
In the first place.

Oh, well...

[ clucking ]

It wasn't
The right moment.

[ clucking ]

I was about to, and grandpa
Came in, he interrupted,

And now grandma's mad,
So I'm sorry if it seems to you

Like I chickened out,
But I didn't,

And now it's just gonna
Have to wait.

[ clucking ]

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