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1
00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:29,570
We need more cement. Where is yvette?
2
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,937
She's in the kitchen
with your wife, mixing it.
3
00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:34,080
Mix... not for me, I hope.
4
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,100
She said she would bring it
down when it was ready.
5
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,580
Yvette,
why have you been so long?
6
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,090
How could I walk through
the cafe carrying a bucket of cement?
7
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,090
It is full of German officers.
8
00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:48,590
But this is my wife's
best mixing bowl!
9
00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,590
Which is why
I was able to pretend
10
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:52,090
it was full of pastry.
11
00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:53,600
Was nobody suspicious?
12
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,600
One of the officers
put his finger in and tasted it.
13
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,600
My god! What happened?
14
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,967
He said your wife's cooking
was getting better.
15
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:03,100
What are you doing?
16
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,610
I am hiding the painting
of the fallen Madonna
17
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,110
with the big boobies
by Van clomp.
18
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:10,610
Also the priceless cuckoo clock.
19
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,314
If the gestapo
find out about them
20
00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:13,110
I will be shot!
21
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,620
If your wife finds out
about you and me,
22
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,120
you'll be shot.
23
00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:19,120
We live in dangerous times.
24
00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:20,620
Maria!
25
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,120
Go upstairs and stand
by the door.
26
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:26,130
If anyone approaches,
stamp your foot.
27
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:28,130
I need 10 minutes.
28
00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:30,630
Just to put one little brick in?
29
00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:32,630
The patron knows
his limitations.
30
00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:35,640
He is not acquainted
with the art of laying bricks.
31
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:39,140
He's certainly acquainted
with the art of laying everything else.
32
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,160
Go to your post!
33
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,150
Rene, my love!
34
00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:47,150
Yvette, my flower!
35
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:51,150
You are the most exciting man
I have ever known.
36
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,160
Let me kiss you.
Let me hold you tight.
37
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,160
No, no, my cabbage.
38
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:59,680
It is getting hard
and I must get it in immediately.
39
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,170
Rene, Rene!
40
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,190
It is my wife!
41
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:08,670
Rene.
42
00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:10,221
There are two black hand marks
43
00:02:10,241 --> 00:02:12,170
on the back of the blouse
of yvette!
44
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:14,180
You came all the way
down to the cellar
45
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,680
to tell me that?
46
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,680
The hand marks
are the same size as your hand marks.
47
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,180
Yes, of course they are.
48
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,180
When I hear you approach,
I think it is the gestapo.
49
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,037
So I wipe my hands
on yvette's blouse
50
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,190
so they will not see
I am building a wall.
51
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,190
You think of everything.
52
00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:30,690
I hope so!
53
00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:32,190
I have a message for you.
54
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:34,200
Michelle is upstairs.
55
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,200
Michelle?
56
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:37,700
From the resistance.
I will come at once.
57
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,200
Lay this brick.
58
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:41,700
But I have no experience
of laying bricks.
59
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,730
Just pretend
it is a German officer.
60
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,210
You don't think
she suspects us, do you?
61
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:51,210
No, never. I let her think
62
00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:53,730
I am not interested
in that kind of thing anymore.
63
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:54,822
Does she believe you?
64
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,720
She has to.
65
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,740
I make her sleep
in the wardrobe.
66
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,730
Michelle is in the back room.
67
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:13,230
Should I sing a song
to distract everyone?
68
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:16,740
No, we don't want
to lose any more customers.
69
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,740
You better come with me.
70
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,260
Pst! I want you
in the back room.
71
00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:30,250
A little note would have
been more discreet.
72
00:03:30,270 --> 00:03:32,270
Not you! Maria!
73
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,780
I was wondering why
I wasn't getting anywhere.
74
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,730
Where is Michelle?
75
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,230
I am here! - Ah!
76
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,230
Put that away.
77
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,240
If it goes off
it could make a noise,
78
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,383
not to mention a hole.
79
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,240
Who is in the cafe?
80
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:55,240
Seven German officers
and two sergeants
81
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:56,893
from the third
panzer grenadiers.
82
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:57,883
That is all right.
83
00:03:57,903 --> 00:03:59,750
Where are the two
British airmen?
84
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:01,250
They are hiding
in the room of my mother.
85
00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:02,250
And the forger?
86
00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:04,750
He is disguised
as a piano player.
87
00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,760
He plays for me
when I sing for the customers.
88
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,760
He is a very bad pianist
89
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:13,260
but when my wife sings
nobody notices.
90
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,780
The customers stuff cheese
in their ears.
91
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:18,790
Gather round.
92
00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:21,270
Now listen very carefully.
93
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:23,270
I shall say this only once.
94
00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:27,280
In that case,
could you please speak slowly?
95
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,780
There is no time.
96
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,862
I have information you are
to be interrogated by the Germans.
97
00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:32,780
- What?
- What?
98
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,454
It is from a reliable source.
It is good information.
99
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:37,444
For me it is
the very worst information
100
00:04:37,464 --> 00:04:39,290
I have ever heard!
101
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,810
Have they blown our cover?
102
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:45,290
We have no cover,
you silly old bat!
103
00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:48,800
I am a restaurant owner,
you are my wife.
104
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:51,300
Please do not use
sophisticated expressions
105
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,800
you do not understand.
106
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:55,300
They don't suspect
that we're trying to hide
107
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:56,800
the British airmen, do they?
108
00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:57,810
We don't know.
109
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,810
But they are ruthless men.
110
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:01,310
They may even take your wife
111
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:02,963
and torture her in front of you.
112
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:04,310
Oh, Rene!
113
00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:05,810
Do not worry,
114
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,840
I will tell them nothing.
115
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:14,320
On the other hand,
they may just work on you
116
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,279
to drag out of you
everything you know.
117
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:18,830
But I know very little
except your name,
118
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,830
and the fact
that we are hiding a few British airmen.
119
00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:23,330
And then there's
the radio under the bed,
120
00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:24,830
and the code book.
121
00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:26,830
And in the cellar,
the cuckoo clock
122
00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:30,340
and the painting
of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.
123
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,340
You see, she remembers
much more than I do.
124
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,340
She's the one
they should interrogate.
125
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,350
Here. Take this ring.
126
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,870
That's very nice of you,
but I don't wear jewelry.
127
00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:42,850
It is hollow!
128
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,850
So inside is a pill.
129
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:46,350
If they torture you,
130
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:47,901
and you cannot stand the pain,
131
00:05:47,921 --> 00:05:49,860
crush it between your teeth.
132
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,880
I see, it is a painkiller.
133
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,860
You will feel nothing.
134
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,880
- For how long?
- Forever.
135
00:05:58,370 --> 00:05:59,370
Oh my god,
136
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,870
all I want is a quiet life!
137
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,390
Take that and you'll have one.
138
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:08,900
Are you sure that
they will send for me?
139
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,380
Hello, hello.
140
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,900
Cafe Rene. It is for you.
141
00:06:18,890 --> 00:06:19,890
'Allo?
142
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:22,890
It is colonel Von strohm,
what shall I say?
143
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:24,410
Act normally!
144
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,900
'Allo, colonel.
145
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,900
How nice to hear
your voice again.
146
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,910
You wish to order a table?
147
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,910
No? Well...
148
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,910
When are you going to come
to see us again, colonel?
149
00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:47,920
You want me to come and see you?
150
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,420
No, no. This is
very difficult, colonel.
151
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,920
You see I am a very busy man.
152
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:54,420
I have the cafe,
and the kitchen,
153
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,920
and my wife...
154
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,930
And my bicycle
has got a puncture.
155
00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:01,430
I... no!
156
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:04,430
No, there will be no need
to send an armored car, no.
157
00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:06,950
I will be there. Yes, bye.
158
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,940
Quick, my walking boots
and a haversack.
159
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,440
And make some sandwiches.
160
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:13,838
But the German headquarters
161
00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:15,440
is only two minutes from here!
162
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,450
Yes, but I am
heading for the coast.
163
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,950
Do not be a fool.
164
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,450
If you disappear,
they will tear this place apart
165
00:07:21,470 --> 00:07:22,695
and we will all be shot.
166
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:25,950
No, you must go to them,
and bluff it out.
167
00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:28,980
I am rapidly
running out of bluff.
168
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,730
Herr colonel, here, look.
169
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:38,230
All we need is a pair of pliers
to turn the tap,
170
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,740
and a length of rubber hose
to connect this old gas poker.
171
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,240
Then we have a nice warm fire
whenever we want.
172
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,760
Well done, hans.
Order them right away.
173
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,770
Herr colonel,
there is a man here to see you.
174
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,750
Is he from the gestapo?
175
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:57,750
No, he's French
and he's very nervous.
176
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,883
Herr colonel, it could be the
gestapo pretending to be French.
177
00:08:00,903 --> 00:08:03,260
You are right, hans,
we must be very careful.
178
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,760
What's his name?
179
00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:06,260
Monsieur... Rene.
180
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,780
It's Rene, from the cafe.
Show him in.
181
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,290
The colonel will see you now.
182
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,280
Oh, colonel.
What an honor it is to be received
183
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:26,280
in your wonderful,
commandeered office.
184
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,800
I have taken the Liberty
of bringing a few simple,
185
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,290
worthless gifts for you.
186
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,290
A bottle of chateau laffite '37,
187
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:37,790
some rather good cigars which I was
keeping until after the war was over...
188
00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:41,484
But as you are doing so well I thought
you might as well have them now...
189
00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:44,300
Some cheese, a little cognac...
190
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,800
Napoleon of course...
191
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:49,300
And a small bottle of perfume
for your assistant.
192
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,810
Thank you very much
but I don't wear it.
193
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:55,310
Not you! This assistant.
194
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,310
This beautiful, young lady.
This fine example
195
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,810
of German womanhood.
196
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,820
Oh, thank you.
197
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,820
Now what can I do
for you colonel?
198
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,983
We just want you to answer
a few questions.
199
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,840
Will there be
anything else, colonel?
200
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,840
- Will there be anything else, hans?
- Yes, colonel.
201
00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:11,830
We shall require
a pair of pliers
202
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,330
and some rubber hose.
203
00:09:13,350 --> 00:09:15,330
No, not the pliers
and the rubber hose!
204
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,830
I will tell you
everything I know.
205
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,840
It is so we can get
the gas poker working.
206
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,840
Not the gas poker!
207
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:25,840
I will tell you
everything I don't know.
208
00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,840
Sit down, Rene.
209
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,340
We have a serious problem.
210
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,850
I don't think it's
as serious as my problem.
211
00:09:33,870 --> 00:09:36,013
We know you have
been hiding British airmen
212
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,411
and helping them to escape.
213
00:09:37,431 --> 00:09:39,850
I know you know that colonel,
214
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,860
but may I remind you
that on your behalf
215
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,870
I am also hiding
a valuable old painting
216
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,360
which you hope to sell
after the war?
217
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,380
One all.
218
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,870
Not to mention
a priceless cuckoo clock.
219
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:53,390
Two, one.
220
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,370
No hans, no score.
221
00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:59,870
Because we're going to hand
that painting to the gestapo.
222
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,880
And then they will
leave us in peace
223
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,380
because we will
hand you over as well.
224
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,380
Oh, but colonel,
225
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,880
that painting was to be
your pension after the war.
226
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,890
With it you could have bought your
own little berchtesgaden in the mountains.
227
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:17,390
If you hand it over,
you will have nothing.
228
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:19,390
And if you hand me over...
229
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,400
The cafe will not be the same
230
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,900
without jolly, jovial,
generous Rene,
231
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,900
the life and soul of any party.
232
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,910
It is very sad, Rene.
233
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,920
But there is no other
course open to us.
234
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,410
But we've enjoyed
your hospitality.
235
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,910
Yes, I had noticed.
236
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,920
We've always regarded you
as a friend.
237
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,420
I look upon you
in the same way, colonel.
238
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,420
And the captain...
239
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,634
And the young lady
out there with the big...
240
00:10:46,654 --> 00:10:49,420
We all think of her as a friend.
241
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,247
The last thing
in the world we want is for you to suffer
242
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:53,727
at the hands of the gestapo.
243
00:10:53,747 --> 00:10:55,930
You are most
considerate, colonel.
244
00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:58,930
So I am going
to give you this ring.
245
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,940
Inside is a pill.
246
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,960
Crush it between your teeth,
247
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:05,940
and in one and a half seconds
248
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,960
you shall be like a dead beetle.
249
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,450
I don't think I shall ever
forget your kindness, colonel.
250
00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:16,450
Perhaps Rene would like
to give his wife one?
251
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:19,022
Even a frenchman cannot
think of that sort of thing
252
00:11:19,042 --> 00:11:21,460
at a time like this.
253
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,480
Here, take it.
254
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:24,960
Colonel...
255
00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:29,460
A little idea is
running around in my brain.
256
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,970
How would it be
if we let the gestapo
257
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:33,470
find a copy of the painting?
258
00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:35,123
You have a copy of the painting?
259
00:11:35,143 --> 00:11:38,470
No, no. But perhaps
one could be made by...
260
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,470
Let us say, a forger.
261
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,480
You know a forger?
262
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,980
In my business,
you meet all sorts.
263
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,480
Mind you, he would want paying.
264
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,480
How much?
265
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,490
Money means so very little
in these hard times,
266
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,990
but perhaps a bottle
of chateau laffite '37
267
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:58,990
and some cigars
and a little cognac?
268
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,000
What about the cheese?
269
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,000
You may keep the cheese.
270
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,500
We could use it...
271
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,174
To stuff in our ears
when his wife sings in the cafe.
272
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,610
Ladies and gentleman,
273
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:16,610
now it is cabaret time
at the cafe Rene.
274
00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:19,110
And tonight,
to sing for you we have...
275
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:21,140
Madame Edith.
276
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,120
My dear friends,
thank you for your welcome.
277
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,640
Are there any requests?
278
00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:36,130
In that case, I will
sing for you an old favorite
279
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:39,630
"under the Bridges
of Paris with you."
280
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:44,640
Would you oblige me
with the cheese board? And hurry.
281
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:49,640
♪ My darling, why I sing this song ♪
282
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:54,670
♪ is easy to explain... ♪
283
00:12:56,670 --> 00:12:59,150
Oh yvette, it was a nightmare.
284
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:02,660
But I thought I was
never going to get out of there alive.
285
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,660
Question after question
after question.
286
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,660
Only I gave nothing away.
287
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,660
Oh Rene, you are so brave.
288
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,670
While you were there
I lit candles.
289
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,670
You were praying for me?
290
00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:17,690
We had a power cut.
291
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:22,680
Yvette, I never thought
I was going to hold you in my arms again.
292
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,680
- Oh, Rene!
- Oh, yvette!
293
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,180
Oh, my love.
294
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,680
♪ Under the Bridges
of Paris with you ♪
295
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:36,710
♪ I'd make your dreams
come tru-u-ue. ♪
296
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,220
Has she finished?
297
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,720
I mustn't use gruyere again...
298
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,720
It has too many holes.
299
00:13:52,730 --> 00:13:54,230
Good evening.
300
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,210
It's herr flick.
301
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,210
Of the gestapo?
302
00:13:58,230 --> 00:13:59,710
Of the gestapo!
303
00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:01,220
Would you like a table?
304
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,720
Not in here.
305
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,720
I have ordered a private room.
306
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:07,720
Rene has reserved it
for you, herr flick.
307
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,740
Would you come this way?
308
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:20,230
You have just missed
the cabaret.
309
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,240
But never mind,
310
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,740
later I will sing
for you privately.
311
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,760
That will not be necessary.
312
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,250
This is our private room,
herr flick.
313
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:35,750
And these are the candlesticks
of my mother.
314
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:38,270
This is adequate.
315
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,832
I shall require a bottle
of your best wine at once.
316
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:49,852
Of course, herr flick.
317
00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,290
You, will sit there.
318
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:01,280
You're so forceful
and dominating.
319
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,280
It's very exciting.
320
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,800
Good.
321
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:08,780
Be very careful...
322
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,800
This is our life insurance.
323
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:14,790
But maybe, on the other hand,
324
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,341
it could be our death warrant.
325
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,300
Ah, monsieur le clerc,
take a look at this.
326
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:25,320
It is the fallen Madonna
with the big boobies.
327
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,800
Can you do another one?
328
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,820
Three big boobies?
329
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,310
Can you forge another picture?
330
00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:40,310
The signature... yes.
331
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,820
The painting... no.
332
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,320
But you are a forger.
333
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:46,820
Yes, but not of paintings.
334
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,320
- Monsieur Rene!
- What?
335
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:49,820
Otto flick is in
the back room, okay?
336
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,330
Ah! And england will be
calling you in one minute
337
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:55,330
on the radio in the bedroom
of your mother-in-law.
338
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:58,330
How close to disaster we live
339
00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:00,034
in this world
of cloak and dagger.
340
00:16:00,054 --> 00:16:01,840
Shall I hide it again?
341
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,340
Yes, but don't brick it up,
we may need it later.
342
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,860
The resistance may have
a proper forger.
343
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,920
'Allo, mama.
344
00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,420
What is the matter?
345
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,277
Why are you knocking
with your stick?
346
00:16:19,297 --> 00:16:21,420
To make you hear me.
347
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:26,930
All day I am alone,
no one comes to see me.
348
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,930
What kind of a life is this
349
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:31,430
for your poor mother?
350
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:37,940
Gazing at the ceiling,
and eating onion soup.
351
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,940
Nothing but onion soup.
352
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,970
Do not light the candle
till I have opened the window!
353
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:52,450
So at last you come to see
354
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:56,460
your poor, old,
frail mother-in-law.
355
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,980
Shut up.
356
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,480
Here is the loudspeaker.
357
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:04,470
- And...
- And...
358
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:05,470
To the side.
359
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,470
Get the code book.
360
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,480
- Where is it?
- In the wardrobe.
361
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Hello!
362
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,000
Stay where you are. Eh?
363
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,010
Here it is.
364
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:29,490
'Allo, nighthawk?
365
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:32,490
Are you receiving me? Over.
366
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:36,000
'Allo, 'allo. This is nighthawk,
367
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:39,000
receiving you loud
and crackerly.
368
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:42,500
Pass your message, please.
369
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,510
The baby will arrive
a week early.
370
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:48,010
Look it up in the code book.
371
00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:52,010
The baby will arrive
a week early.
372
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:56,520
Oh my daughter,
heaven be praised.
373
00:17:56,540 --> 00:18:00,520
A grandchild at last.
374
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:04,020
You old fool!
I have not put her in the family way.
375
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,530
Then who has?
376
00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:10,530
We are just looking it up in the book.
377
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:16,540
So many strangers,
have you no shame?
378
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,540
It means the British airmen
are being picked up tonight.
379
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,040
That's a week early,
380
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,101
but I'll be glad
to see the back of them.
381
00:18:23,121 --> 00:18:26,050
'Allo, 'allo.
Your message understood.
382
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,570
Over and out. And things.
383
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,560
Rene, listen very carefully.
384
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,560
I shall say this only once...
385
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:38,560
The airmen must leave
immediately.
386
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:40,560
Well, they cannot leave
by the main entrance.
387
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,060
It is being watched,
and everyone is being questioned.
388
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,713
Then they must leave
by the back,
389
00:18:44,733 --> 00:18:46,417
through the window
of your office.
390
00:18:46,437 --> 00:18:50,070
They cannot go that way,
herr flick is having his dinner in there.
391
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:52,570
Then they must leave
by this window.
392
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,070
We have no ladder!
393
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,795
We take the sheets from the bed
and tie them together.
394
00:18:56,815 --> 00:18:58,080
Good idea!
395
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:02,580
How can you treat
your poor mother in this manner?
396
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,590
It's very easy.
397
00:19:07,110 --> 00:19:10,090
Now I want to see
some good tight knots.
398
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:11,590
Yes, of course you do.
399
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,590
Now Michelle, before I forget,
400
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,100
we have to make a copy
of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.
401
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,600
Let monsieur le clerc do it.
402
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:19,600
He cannot paint.
403
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,600
Neither can he play the piano!
404
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,610
The customers block their ears.
405
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,110
We have nobody,
406
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:29,610
but perhaps we could
send it to england to have it copied.
407
00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:31,875
We could send it
with the two British airmen.
408
00:19:31,895 --> 00:19:33,895
Yvette, go and get it.
409
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,620
We must get the bed
to the window
410
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,620
and tie the sheets to it.
411
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,620
Come on chaps, lend a hand. Bed to window.
412
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,620
Jolly good show.
413
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,630
- May one enquire why?
- You're going out that way.
414
00:19:46,650 --> 00:19:49,355
For heaven's sake
don't knock any slates off the roof,
415
00:19:49,375 --> 00:19:50,835
the gestapo are downstairs.
416
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:51,630
Roger!
417
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,160
I hope you enjoy
the food and everything.
418
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,640
Do not disturb us again.
419
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:00,660
No, herr flick.
420
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,150
Helga,
421
00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:09,150
I think you should know
that I had an ulterior motive
422
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:10,293
for bringing you here.
423
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:13,150
This comes as no surprise
to me, herr flick.
424
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,660
We are not here
just to eat and drink.
425
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,660
It is very exciting
to be with a man
426
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,660
- who knows what he wants.
- Of course.
427
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,670
The way you ordered
the chocolate mousse
428
00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:24,160
sent shivers down my spine.
429
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:27,190
Why is it everybody
is so frightened of me?
430
00:20:28,190 --> 00:20:30,670
Deep down I'm quite a softie.
431
00:20:30,690 --> 00:20:33,670
Do not destroy my illusions.
432
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:36,680
I did not wish to be
in the gestapo, you know?
433
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:40,200
My godfather,
Heinrich himmler, insisted.
434
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,190
I'm not sure about this wine.
435
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:50,190
I expect the proprietor
has the better bottles
436
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:51,710
hidden in the cellar.
437
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,200
I think you're right
about the wine.
438
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:58,720
It has made me feel
very warm, all over.
439
00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:04,710
On the other hand,
440
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,710
now that it has had
a chance to breathe,
441
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,230
it has a very mellow aftertaste.
442
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:18,220
Has he reached the ground yet?
443
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,220
No...
444
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,720
He's climbing back!
445
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,220
What for?! The idiot.
446
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,730
Here, I have it, the picture.
447
00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:28,230
How much longer must we suffer
448
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:32,230
the indignities of this war?
449
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,230
Shut up.
450
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,240
The damn sheet's too short.
451
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,740
Couldn't you jump?
452
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,240
20 foot? I'm not
in the parachute brigade!
453
00:21:40,260 --> 00:21:42,914
- What's happening?
- The sheets are too short!
454
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:45,128
They will have to go
through the front door.
455
00:21:45,148 --> 00:21:47,434
But they will be questioned
by the Germans!
456
00:21:47,454 --> 00:21:49,770
The Germans?
457
00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,750
Do not mention the Germans
in front of my mother,
458
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:56,760
it takes so long to clear up.
459
00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:58,760
There is only one answer,
460
00:21:58,780 --> 00:22:02,260
they will have to leave
disguised as Germans in German uniforms.
461
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,260
German uniforms, she says.
462
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,770
Where do we get German uniforms?
463
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:08,770
Can your girls not help us?
464
00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:11,270
Well...
465
00:22:11,290 --> 00:22:12,770
Yvette,
466
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:16,280
dear, sweet, innocent
little yvette,
467
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:19,280
you know I would not ask
this of you normally,
468
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,280
but you will be
doing it for France.
469
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:25,790
I will be doing it
for 1,000 francs.
470
00:22:25,810 --> 00:22:27,290
What about Maria?
471
00:22:27,310 --> 00:22:29,810
She'll do it for 750.
472
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:34,800
You seem to be
very much on edge, herr flick.
473
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:37,300
I have had a hard day.
474
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,800
It is not easy being hated
by so many people, you know.
475
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,810
Not when you are
as sensitive as I am.
476
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,616
I think you're
bearing up very well.
477
00:22:47,330 --> 00:22:48,830
Not as well as you.
478
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:54,310
Does this relax you more?
479
00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:55,340
No.
480
00:22:56,340 --> 00:22:57,840
But I am enjoying it.
481
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:04,790
You are actually asking us
to lend you our uniforms?
482
00:23:04,810 --> 00:23:07,290
Colonel, believe me,
it is the only way
483
00:23:07,310 --> 00:23:09,300
to get the picture
to england to have it copied.
484
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,412
But colonel,
if the gestapo ever found out
485
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:13,984
that we have been helping
British airmen to escape,
486
00:23:14,004 --> 00:23:15,892
do you not think
they will be cross?
487
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:22,310
If they find out about
the stolen painting they will be cross!
488
00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:24,810
Look! Look.
489
00:23:24,830 --> 00:23:27,310
You will be upstairs
with the girls,
490
00:23:27,330 --> 00:23:29,820
and your uniforms
will be quietly stolen.
491
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,320
After a brief,
but very enjoyable interval,
492
00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:35,320
they will be returned to you.
493
00:23:35,340 --> 00:23:36,820
Now what do you say, colonel?
494
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,850
The girls are waiting.
495
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,830
Will there be time
for the flying helmet
496
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:49,360
and the wet celery?
497
00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:51,860
Just!
498
00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:55,840
I agree.
499
00:23:55,860 --> 00:23:57,840
What about you, hans?
500
00:23:57,860 --> 00:24:01,350
I am thinking about
my little wife in Berlin.
501
00:24:01,370 --> 00:24:04,870
What about Maria
and the egg whisk?
502
00:24:07,870 --> 00:24:10,380
I am... oh!
503
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,860
I am thinking that Berlin
is a very long way away.
504
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,370
My wife is about
the same size as Maria,
505
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:19,890
height wise.
506
00:24:23,890 --> 00:24:25,370
It is all fixed,
507
00:24:25,390 --> 00:24:27,370
but don't forget the boots.
508
00:24:27,390 --> 00:24:28,380
Boots?
509
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,380
I charge extra for boots!
510
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,900
Their boots!
511
00:24:39,410 --> 00:24:40,890
Get out of your togs, chaps.
512
00:24:40,910 --> 00:24:42,890
Uniforms will be here
any second.
513
00:24:42,910 --> 00:24:43,910
Good show!
514
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:48,900
What is happening?
515
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,604
They are taking off
their clothes,
516
00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:51,900
ready for their disguise.
517
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,900
They must not remove
their trousers
518
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,400
in front of my mother.
519
00:24:55,420 --> 00:24:58,410
No, no, no.
520
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,910
It is war.
521
00:25:00,930 --> 00:25:02,930
I understand.
522
00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:07,910
I say!
523
00:25:07,930 --> 00:25:09,440
Look at the crumpets!
524
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,420
Get cracking, chaps.
525
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:13,920
Do you think we've got time?
526
00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:16,940
Not them, the clothes.
527
00:25:24,950 --> 00:25:26,430
You French people,
528
00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:29,460
you have some very nice jewelry.
529
00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:32,440
Thank you.
530
00:25:32,460 --> 00:25:35,440
I have a trinket
that is much admired.
531
00:25:35,460 --> 00:25:36,960
Really?
532
00:25:39,470 --> 00:25:40,950
May I show it to you?
533
00:25:40,970 --> 00:25:42,970
If you must, yes.
534
00:25:45,970 --> 00:25:48,460
Ah, yes.
535
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,460
It has a picture inside.
536
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,960
Look.
537
00:25:51,980 --> 00:25:55,960
Yes, what lovely
long blond hair.
538
00:25:55,980 --> 00:25:57,460
Yes, isn't it?
539
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,970
Unfortunately,
he had to have it cut off
540
00:25:59,990 --> 00:26:01,490
when he joined the army.
541
00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:05,990
Pst! Pst!
542
00:26:07,990 --> 00:26:09,480
Are they ready?
543
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:12,500
They are dressed,
but they are not very realistic.
544
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Oh my god!
545
00:26:19,510 --> 00:26:21,990
And they've forgotten
the painting.
546
00:26:22,010 --> 00:26:22,990
The what?
547
00:26:23,010 --> 00:26:25,490
The fallen Madonna
with the big boobies.
548
00:26:25,510 --> 00:26:28,500
I say, chaps,
you've forgotten the picture.
549
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,000
No we haven't...
We took it out of the frame.
550
00:26:31,020 --> 00:26:32,020
Where is it now?
551
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,010
For heaven's sake,
try to look more German.
552
00:26:40,030 --> 00:26:41,030
Right-o!
553
00:26:46,530 --> 00:26:49,520
Good night, gentlemen.
Come again soon.
554
00:26:49,540 --> 00:26:51,520
Give my love to the fuhrer.
555
00:26:51,540 --> 00:26:53,020
Heil Hitler.
556
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,520
- Heil Hitler.
- Heil Hitler.
557
00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:55,540
Heil Hitler!
558
00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:59,530
Oh, cheerio!
559
00:26:59,550 --> 00:27:00,550
Cheerio!
560
00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:08,540
- Hans?
- Hmm?
561
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,540
There go our uniforms.
562
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,540
They promised them
back in 15 minutes.
563
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,040
That was 10 minutes ago.
564
00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:18,060
How quickly the war passes
when you're enjoying yourself.
565
00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:25,570
This time with the goggles!
566
00:27:30,580 --> 00:27:31,580
Woo!
40181
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