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1
00:00:10,758 --> 00:00:11,758
Ouch.
2
00:00:13,194 --> 00:00:14,370
Ouch!
3
00:00:14,394 --> 00:00:15,738
Did you say something, Sam?
4
00:00:15,762 --> 00:00:18,675
Uh, no. No, I didn't.
5
00:00:18,699 --> 00:00:19,943
But he did.
6
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:23,535
Sammy, how can you hit
a man when he's down?
7
00:00:25,305 --> 00:00:26,349
Get it?
8
00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:29,275
Pillow, feathers, down?
9
00:00:31,879 --> 00:00:33,189
I guess it's true.
10
00:00:33,213 --> 00:00:36,615
Small things amuse small minds.
11
00:00:38,018 --> 00:00:39,496
How would you like to pick on
12
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,733
somebody your own size?
13
00:00:42,757 --> 00:00:45,335
Okay, Digby. Start picking.
14
00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:46,669
Uncle Arthur, please.
15
00:00:46,693 --> 00:00:48,805
What's it gonna be, fisticuffs?
16
00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:50,262
Now, just...
17
00:00:53,134 --> 00:00:55,545
Uncle Arthur, will
you cut that out?
18
00:00:55,569 --> 00:01:00,539
Oh, Sammy, I'm
just jousting with him.
19
00:01:03,877 --> 00:01:05,589
Sam, tell him to
get me out of here.
20
00:01:05,613 --> 00:01:07,724
If I were you, Digby,
21
00:01:07,748 --> 00:01:10,426
before I got in
the office elevator,
22
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:12,317
I'd, uh... I'd check my lance.
23
00:01:13,587 --> 00:01:15,320
Uncle Arthur!
24
00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:19,269
There you go.
25
00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:22,739
Back to normal,
whatever that is.
26
00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:25,274
And to think some people,
before they go to work,
27
00:01:25,298 --> 00:01:27,410
just have coffee.
28
00:01:27,434 --> 00:01:29,679
Uh, sweetheart,
i-it's after 2:00.
29
00:01:29,703 --> 00:01:31,181
You'll be late for your meeting.
30
00:01:31,205 --> 00:01:32,482
Oh, that's right.
31
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:35,953
What with all the fun and
games, I almost forgot.
32
00:01:35,977 --> 00:01:39,156
Uh, aren't you
gonna say goodbye?
33
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,624
Yes, I am. Goodbye.
34
00:01:41,648 --> 00:01:44,227
And the next time
you drop in, don't.
35
00:01:44,251 --> 00:01:46,629
Watch it, buster.
36
00:01:46,653 --> 00:01:50,055
In a war of wit, you're unarmed.
37
00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:58,575
Sam, this dinner tonight
for Mr. and Mrs. Rockfield
38
00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:00,877
is not social. It's business.
39
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,245
I know.
40
00:02:02,269 --> 00:02:05,315
And Larry will be coming,
so that'll make five for dinner.
41
00:02:05,339 --> 00:02:06,850
Not six.
42
00:02:06,874 --> 00:02:08,485
Don't worry, sweetheart.
43
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:09,775
Hmm.
44
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:16,893
All right, Uncle
Arthur. Let's have it.
45
00:02:16,917 --> 00:02:18,361
Have what?
46
00:02:18,385 --> 00:02:19,863
An explanation.
47
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:21,264
Digby deserved ev...
48
00:02:21,288 --> 00:02:23,867
Ah, that is not what
I'm talking about.
49
00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,468
How come you're all spruced up?
50
00:02:25,492 --> 00:02:27,270
It's the new me.
51
00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:30,106
Love it or, uh, leave it.
52
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,307
I'm leaving it.
53
00:02:31,331 --> 00:02:34,210
Uh, Sammy, it's all
part of the new me.
54
00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:36,146
The simple, carefree,
55
00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,047
fun-loving, practical-joking
56
00:02:38,071 --> 00:02:40,283
Uncle Arthur is gone.
57
00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:43,120
Y-You mean all those
stunts you pulled on Darrin
58
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:44,354
were my imagination?
59
00:02:44,378 --> 00:02:47,224
Just the last of a long line
60
00:02:47,248 --> 00:02:48,859
of memorable funnies.
61
00:02:48,883 --> 00:02:51,228
My glorious transformation
62
00:02:51,252 --> 00:02:53,996
can be attributed to one word:
63
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,298
Aretha.
64
00:02:55,322 --> 00:02:57,234
Aretha?
65
00:02:57,258 --> 00:03:01,204
Aretha, my love, I
worship at your feet.
66
00:03:01,228 --> 00:03:06,777
Fly to my side, and
make it tout suite.
67
00:03:06,801 --> 00:03:08,945
Arthur, darling,
68
00:03:08,969 --> 00:03:11,248
how thoughtful of you to call.
69
00:03:11,272 --> 00:03:13,272
Oh.
70
00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:15,285
Mmm.
71
00:03:15,309 --> 00:03:16,742
Finger-lickin' good.
72
00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:20,123
Oh... Oh, Samantha,
73
00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:22,659
allow me to introduce Aretha,
74
00:03:22,683 --> 00:03:24,928
the love of my life.
75
00:03:24,952 --> 00:03:26,796
The witch who will soon be
76
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:29,765
Mrs. Uncle Arthur.
77
00:03:29,789 --> 00:03:33,103
Oh, that's marvelous.
78
00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:35,438
Aretha, I'm so
pleased to meet you.
79
00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:37,707
Charmed, I'm sure.
80
00:03:37,731 --> 00:03:39,797
I'm sure.
81
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:40,269
What a quaint little place.
82
00:04:40,293 --> 00:04:43,239
Absolutely charming.
83
00:04:43,263 --> 00:04:45,041
Where's the main house?
84
00:04:45,065 --> 00:04:46,609
This is it.
85
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,645
Where do the servants stay?
86
00:04:48,669 --> 00:04:50,747
Well, we don't have
any servants' quarters,
87
00:04:50,771 --> 00:04:52,649
since we don't
have any servants.
88
00:04:52,673 --> 00:04:55,152
Oh, sounds like fun.
89
00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:57,086
If my hands weren't so delicate,
90
00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:59,578
I would consider
trying it myself.
91
00:05:01,048 --> 00:05:03,192
Aretha, my sweetness.
92
00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:05,261
Your loveliness
is only surpassed
93
00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:07,764
by your understanding. Oh.
94
00:05:07,788 --> 00:05:11,123
That's not quite the
word I would've used.
95
00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:14,337
Sammy, I...
96
00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:16,601
Sam, I... I think I'd like to
talk to you in the kitchen.
97
00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:26,682
Uncle Arthur,
what's the matt...?
98
00:05:26,706 --> 00:05:28,851
Sammy. For you.
99
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,619
Oh, thank you.
100
00:05:30,643 --> 00:05:31,921
They're beautiful.
101
00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:33,045
Smell them.
102
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,032
I'm sorry, Sammy.
103
00:05:42,056 --> 00:05:44,333
I just couldn't control myself.
104
00:05:44,357 --> 00:05:46,536
I'm having a lot
of trouble myself.
105
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,104
You don't understand.
106
00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:51,975
My problem is Aretha
can't stand practical jokes.
107
00:05:51,999 --> 00:05:53,476
They... They're
below her station.
108
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,178
Oh.
109
00:05:55,202 --> 00:05:57,547
If she knew I were
the titan of tricks,
110
00:05:57,571 --> 00:05:59,282
the highness of hijinks,
111
00:05:59,306 --> 00:06:00,783
the prince of pranks,
112
00:06:00,807 --> 00:06:03,420
why, she'd drop
me like a hot potato.
113
00:06:03,444 --> 00:06:06,256
How long are you gonna
carry on this masquerade?
114
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,091
Forever, if necessary.
115
00:06:08,115 --> 00:06:10,493
One of these days,
you'll just lose control
116
00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:13,196
right in front of her.
Never. I love her.
117
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:17,188
The masquerade goes on.
118
00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:24,207
Here we are, my treasure.
119
00:06:24,231 --> 00:06:25,375
Miss me?
120
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:28,177
Arthur, let's talk
about our honeymoon.
121
00:06:28,201 --> 00:06:31,381
I do hope we can
go to a fun place.
122
00:06:31,405 --> 00:06:34,451
I've been thinking that
maybe we could go to India
123
00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:35,985
for some elephant polo.
124
00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:38,187
Oh, Arthur, it's so hot in India
125
00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:40,390
this time of year,
what with all those
126
00:06:40,414 --> 00:06:42,726
untouchables milling
about the streets.
127
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,394
Arthur, I mean...
128
00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,729
I know a place where you can go.
129
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,598
Thanks, Sammy, but
we still haven't run out
130
00:06:48,622 --> 00:06:50,600
of our own ideas.
131
00:06:50,624 --> 00:06:53,303
I've got it. The perfect
place to honeymoon.
132
00:06:53,327 --> 00:06:55,305
We'll have complete privacy.
133
00:06:55,329 --> 00:06:58,007
We'll take a trip to the moon
134
00:06:58,031 --> 00:07:01,499
on gossamer wings.
135
00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:06,282
What are you doing with
those wings on your back?
136
00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:10,586
W-Wings? What... What wings?
137
00:07:10,610 --> 00:07:13,322
Arthur, I would be much happier
138
00:07:13,346 --> 00:07:16,126
if you would quit
that clowning around.
139
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:18,394
You, uh, would?
140
00:07:18,418 --> 00:07:20,663
U-Uncle Arthur.
141
00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:22,765
I think you would be happier
142
00:07:22,789 --> 00:07:25,090
if you'd clown
around a little more.
143
00:07:28,228 --> 00:07:29,506
Arthur!
144
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:32,442
Get me out of this
ridiculous costume!
145
00:07:32,466 --> 00:07:34,477
You... You clown!
146
00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:36,034
It takes one to know one.
147
00:07:38,271 --> 00:07:41,184
Uncle Arthur, I think
it's time you stopped...
148
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:42,518
clowning around.
149
00:07:42,542 --> 00:07:43,853
Clowning around.
150
00:07:43,877 --> 00:07:46,077
Oh, Sammy, you do
have a way with words.
151
00:07:47,647 --> 00:07:49,459
Arthur, I'm warning you.
152
00:07:49,483 --> 00:07:51,427
Cut out this nonsense.
153
00:07:51,451 --> 00:07:55,498
Uh, oh, all right, killjoy.
154
00:07:55,522 --> 00:07:59,435
Arthur, you are a
silly, witless fool.
155
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,938
However, there
is one consolation.
156
00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:05,063
I found out in time.
157
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,079
Oh, Sammy.
158
00:08:10,103 --> 00:08:12,816
You're looking at
a broken warlock,
159
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,986
rejected and shattered
beyond repair.
160
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,355
I'd turn myself into a doormat,
161
00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:21,458
except the way I feel,
162
00:08:21,482 --> 00:08:24,694
I couldn't stand the
word "Welcome."
163
00:08:24,718 --> 00:08:26,462
Oh.
164
00:08:26,486 --> 00:08:28,464
Well, i-in a few thousand years,
165
00:08:28,488 --> 00:08:30,166
you will have
forgotten all about her.
166
00:08:30,190 --> 00:08:32,335
I know.
167
00:08:32,359 --> 00:08:36,528
But what am I gonna do tonight?
168
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:41,043
Come on. Come
on. Give me a hand.
169
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,845
Rockfield will be
here any minute.
170
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:44,080
What's going on?
171
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:45,815
Just a little one-upsmanship.
172
00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:48,518
Putting Rockfield's furniture
where it will do the most good...
173
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:49,686
Right before his eyes.
174
00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,087
Where do you
want this, Mr. Tate?
175
00:08:51,111 --> 00:08:53,044
Oh, here. I'll take
it, Betty. Thanks.
176
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,649
The right bait for
the right catch.
177
00:08:59,986 --> 00:09:01,864
Okay, Darrin, let's
hear your ideas.
178
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:03,332
He'll be here any minute.
179
00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:06,102
Okay. But I could have come
up with some angles I like better
180
00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:07,437
if I'd had more time.
181
00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:10,172
Let me remind you, this
is the advertising business.
182
00:09:10,196 --> 00:09:12,631
Whatever you come
up with, you love.
183
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:15,845
Yes?
184
00:09:15,869 --> 00:09:17,580
Mr. Rockfield's here.
185
00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,437
Show him in.
186
00:09:22,109 --> 00:09:24,186
Ah, ha, ha. Mr. Rockfield,
good to see you.
187
00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:25,387
Come on in. Hello, Tate.
188
00:09:25,411 --> 00:09:27,456
Darrin, shake hands
with Lionel Rockfield,
189
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,425
king of home and
office furnishings.
190
00:09:29,449 --> 00:09:30,893
This is Darrin Stephens,
191
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:33,195
the creative
mainstay of our team.
192
00:09:33,219 --> 00:09:36,065
It's a pleasure to finally
meet you, Mr. Rockfield.
193
00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,433
I've heard a lot about you.
194
00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:38,801
Yes.
195
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:40,202
Would you like to sit down?
196
00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:43,239
Uh, no. I've been
sitting all day.
197
00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,630
Oh, no. Here. Here, use this.
198
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:50,546
Uh, never mind. I'll use
the one here on the desk.
199
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,149
All right, Tate. I understand
you've got some campaign ideas
200
00:09:53,173 --> 00:09:54,250
you want me to hear.
201
00:09:54,274 --> 00:09:55,551
Absolutely. Go ahead.
202
00:09:55,575 --> 00:09:57,253
Mr. Rockfield... I'm listening.
203
00:09:57,277 --> 00:09:59,722
At McMann and
Tate, time is money,
204
00:09:59,746 --> 00:10:02,459
both for the client
and the agency.
205
00:10:02,483 --> 00:10:03,960
Go ahead, Darrin.
206
00:10:03,984 --> 00:10:06,763
Well, the first idea
is a beauty contest...
207
00:10:06,787 --> 00:10:09,065
Miss Secretary of the Year...
208
00:10:09,089 --> 00:10:10,633
And the winner would be pictured
209
00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:12,268
sitting in a Rockfield chair
210
00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:14,970
at a Rockfield desk.
211
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:16,272
I don't like it.
212
00:10:16,296 --> 00:10:18,308
It's been done a
million times. It's old hat.
213
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:21,210
Right. It's off with the
old and on with the new.
214
00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:23,512
Proceed, Darrin.
215
00:10:23,536 --> 00:10:26,149
We thought of an
institutional approach.
216
00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:29,552
Pick five colleges and
furnish the president's offices
217
00:10:29,576 --> 00:10:31,287
with Rockfield furniture.
218
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:33,188
It'd be like a grant.
219
00:10:33,212 --> 00:10:34,457
I don't like it.
220
00:10:34,481 --> 00:10:36,259
It's too obvious.
And so are you, Tate.
221
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,527
What?
222
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:39,529
Just because you put a
Rockfield chair and lamp
223
00:10:39,553 --> 00:10:40,963
and ashtray in your office
224
00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:42,865
doesn't mean you're
gonna land the account.
225
00:10:42,889 --> 00:10:44,634
Well, I never
dreamed... I don't fall for
226
00:10:44,658 --> 00:10:46,869
that kind of bait, Tate.
227
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:49,305
I take my business very
seriously, and if you don't,
228
00:10:49,329 --> 00:10:52,308
I'll take my business
elsewhere. Oh, we do. We do.
229
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,876
And we have a lot more ideas.
230
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,345
But why don't we present
them tonight at dinner,
231
00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,181
when we'll all be a
little more relaxed?
232
00:10:58,205 --> 00:10:59,715
All right.
233
00:10:59,739 --> 00:11:01,984
But you better come up with
something a more effective
234
00:11:02,008 --> 00:11:03,719
than I've heard here today.
235
00:11:03,743 --> 00:11:07,123
And, uh, don't count
on me being too relaxed.
236
00:11:07,147 --> 00:11:10,681
I take pride in never
getting too relaxed.
237
00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:15,832
You heard what he said,
238
00:11:15,856 --> 00:11:17,900
so you better come up
with something terrific
239
00:11:17,924 --> 00:11:19,134
or it's curtains.
240
00:11:19,158 --> 00:11:22,193
And I don't mean
Rockfield curtains either.
241
00:11:31,271 --> 00:11:32,715
Uncle Arthur,
242
00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:36,485
you have been moping
around the house all day long.
243
00:11:36,509 --> 00:11:39,088
Now, Darrin will be
home any minute.
244
00:11:39,112 --> 00:11:42,491
So, please, try and
pull yourself together.
245
00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:44,726
But my life has no meaning.
246
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:47,096
I have loved and lost.
247
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,798
Oh, my stars.
248
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:52,868
Uncle Arthur, you
haven't lost anything.
249
00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,304
You force me to be honest.
250
00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:58,807
Aretha is a phony.
251
00:11:58,831 --> 00:12:00,376
And so are you
252
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,244
for pretending to be
something you're not.
253
00:12:02,268 --> 00:12:03,546
What am I?
254
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:06,938
A broken-hearted clown!
255
00:12:10,410 --> 00:12:11,921
Laugh, clown.
256
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:15,224
No one knows
your heart is broken.
257
00:12:15,248 --> 00:12:17,060
♪ Even though ♪
258
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,362
♪ You're only Make-believing ♪
259
00:12:19,386 --> 00:12:22,531
♪ Laugh, clown, laugh ♪
260
00:12:22,555 --> 00:12:23,866
Oh, brother.
261
00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,335
♪ Even though ♪
262
00:12:25,359 --> 00:12:28,338
♪ Something inside Is grieving ♪
263
00:12:28,362 --> 00:12:31,462
♪ Laugh, clown, laugh ♪
264
00:12:34,634 --> 00:12:36,612
Sammy, I've got it.
265
00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,247
You're gonna
forget about Aretha.
266
00:12:38,271 --> 00:12:39,849
No, I'm going to win her back.
267
00:12:39,873 --> 00:12:42,551
And the only way to do it
is to get rid of the one thing
268
00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:44,787
that's standing between us.
269
00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:46,222
My character.
270
00:12:46,246 --> 00:12:48,324
Your character?
271
00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:49,859
I'm going to say goodbye
272
00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:51,060
to my practical jokes.
273
00:12:51,084 --> 00:12:54,263
I will scatter
them to the winds.
274
00:12:54,287 --> 00:12:56,766
How are you gonna do
that? Never mind, Sammy.
275
00:12:56,790 --> 00:12:57,967
Go check your dinner.
276
00:12:57,991 --> 00:13:01,592
You needn't be concerned
about me anymore.
277
00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:18,587
Why scatter my practical
jokes to the winds
278
00:13:18,611 --> 00:13:21,090
when they'd be
much more at home...
279
00:13:21,114 --> 00:13:24,060
right here?
280
00:13:24,084 --> 00:13:28,730
Practical jokes my love appalls,
281
00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:35,193
fly from my body and
lodge in these walls.
282
00:13:39,132 --> 00:13:41,377
Au revoir, Sammy.
283
00:13:41,401 --> 00:13:44,302
The joke's on you.
284
00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:49,318
Uncle Arthur?
285
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:51,753
Uncle Arthur.
286
00:13:51,777 --> 00:13:53,655
Uncle Arthur?
287
00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,691
Uncle Arthur.
288
00:13:55,715 --> 00:13:57,515
Oh.
289
00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:02,331
Uncle Arthur!
290
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,656
Uncle Arthur!
291
00:14:10,329 --> 00:14:13,375
Oh. Oh!
292
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:16,134
Good grief.
293
00:14:18,972 --> 00:14:20,983
Oh!
294
00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:22,552
Uncle Arthur!
295
00:14:22,576 --> 00:14:24,053
Knock it off!
296
00:14:24,077 --> 00:14:26,243
Sam?
297
00:14:44,697 --> 00:14:48,177
And what, may I ask, is this?
298
00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:49,634
I think it's water.
299
00:14:50,737 --> 00:14:53,082
So much for the water.
300
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:54,872
Now where's the scotch?
301
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,360
Sam, I'm very calm now.
302
00:15:04,384 --> 00:15:07,729
If I were you, I'd take
advantage of this calm state
303
00:15:07,753 --> 00:15:09,398
by explaining
304
00:15:09,422 --> 00:15:12,734
what kind of a way is
that to greet a husband?
305
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:14,358
Oh, dear.
306
00:15:15,962 --> 00:15:18,007
Is that better?
307
00:15:18,031 --> 00:15:19,275
It's better,
308
00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:21,110
but it's still not
an explanation.
309
00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:23,379
It's Uncle Arthur.
310
00:15:23,403 --> 00:15:25,047
I know that.
311
00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:27,282
But what you don't
know is that Uncle Arthur
312
00:15:27,306 --> 00:15:28,618
is madly in love with a witch
313
00:15:28,642 --> 00:15:30,953
who can't stand
his practical jokes.
314
00:15:30,977 --> 00:15:32,955
The ranks are swelling.
315
00:15:32,979 --> 00:15:34,256
And in order to win her,
316
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,759
he divorced himself
from his practical jokes.
317
00:15:36,783 --> 00:15:38,628
Well, that's an improvement.
318
00:15:38,652 --> 00:15:41,464
And apparently we
got custody of them.
319
00:15:41,488 --> 00:15:43,398
That's not.
320
00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:45,701
Sam, now, our guests
will be here any minute.
321
00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:47,002
I mean... Well, you're a witch.
322
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:48,103
Do something.
323
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:49,860
Well, there's nothing I can do.
324
00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:56,478
There. Here's to tonight.
325
00:15:56,502 --> 00:15:59,470
Let's hope it's nothing
like this afternoon.
326
00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:03,908
Brace yourself.
327
00:16:08,782 --> 00:16:11,360
Oh, good evening. Please
come in. Good evening.
328
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:12,594
How do you do?
329
00:16:12,618 --> 00:16:15,497
Samantha, uh, this is
Mr. and Mrs. Rockfield.
330
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:16,498
How do you do?
331
00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:17,767
Folks, this is Samantha,
332
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:19,902
Darrin's lovely
and charming wife.
333
00:16:19,926 --> 00:16:21,192
Oh, Larry. My goodness.
334
00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:23,706
Oh, well. How about some drinks?
335
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:24,874
I thought you'd never ask.
336
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:26,175
Good. Come right in.
337
00:16:26,199 --> 00:16:27,665
We're so thrilled
you could come.
338
00:16:29,836 --> 00:16:30,880
What was that?
339
00:16:30,904 --> 00:16:32,948
Uh, uh, just a draft.
340
00:16:32,972 --> 00:16:34,817
It's a very drafty house.
341
00:16:34,841 --> 00:16:36,952
I-I'll call the draftsman
in the morning
342
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:38,954
and get it fixed.
343
00:16:38,978 --> 00:16:41,657
W-Why don't you call
whoever you have to call
344
00:16:41,681 --> 00:16:43,191
right now, Sam,
345
00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:44,593
just so it doesn't happen again?
346
00:16:44,617 --> 00:16:46,094
G-Good idea.
347
00:16:46,118 --> 00:16:47,663
You can use the
phone in the kitchen.
348
00:16:47,687 --> 00:16:48,964
Excuse me.
349
00:16:48,988 --> 00:16:50,800
Well, what are we drinking?
350
00:16:50,824 --> 00:16:52,034
Well, uh...
351
00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:53,835
Mrs. Rockfield and I
will have ginger ale.
352
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,738
You sure you don't
want something stronger?
353
00:16:55,762 --> 00:16:57,039
We're sure.
354
00:16:57,063 --> 00:16:59,475
Too bad.
355
00:16:59,499 --> 00:17:01,966
Come on in.
356
00:17:07,907 --> 00:17:11,887
Uncle Arthur, I am
going to count to three,
357
00:17:11,911 --> 00:17:13,822
and if you know
what's good for you,
358
00:17:13,846 --> 00:17:16,091
you will gather up
all your practical jokes
359
00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:18,460
and absorb them.
360
00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:21,385
One, two, three.
361
00:17:24,323 --> 00:17:25,923
Four?
362
00:17:27,459 --> 00:17:29,126
Five?
363
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,178
And here we are with the drinks.
364
00:17:36,202 --> 00:17:37,245
Oh.
365
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,515
The ginger ale
for the Rockfields,
366
00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:41,706
and the scotch for Larry.
367
00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:52,061
Stephens, I... I
don't seem to be able
368
00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:53,562
to raise my glass.
369
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:55,797
Neither can I. Neither can I.
370
00:17:55,821 --> 00:17:57,566
You can't, huh?
371
00:17:57,590 --> 00:18:00,169
Probably the furniture polish
372
00:18:00,193 --> 00:18:01,537
hasn't dried on the table yet.
373
00:18:01,561 --> 00:18:03,639
I'll have them
pried off tomorrow.
374
00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:04,707
No problem.
375
00:18:04,731 --> 00:18:06,463
I'll make new drinks.
376
00:18:15,741 --> 00:18:17,375
Hmm. Certainly
getting hot in here.
377
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:23,080
Darrin, we're
waiting for our drinks.
378
00:18:24,284 --> 00:18:26,629
Didn't you have
a drink for lunch?
379
00:18:26,653 --> 00:18:28,965
What's the matter with you?
380
00:18:28,989 --> 00:18:30,399
Me? Nothing.
381
00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:32,601
Nothing. I'm fine.
382
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,670
Uh, say, have you ever seen
383
00:18:34,694 --> 00:18:35,804
the handkerchief trick?
384
00:18:35,828 --> 00:18:38,028
It's... It's really,
uh, very amusing.
385
00:18:39,099 --> 00:18:40,977
Darrin, forget the trick.
386
00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:43,012
Let's talk about the campaign.
387
00:18:43,036 --> 00:18:45,781
What have you come
up with for Mr. Rockfield?
388
00:18:45,805 --> 00:18:47,282
Uh, yeah, the campaign.
389
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:48,751
Oh, of course.
390
00:18:48,775 --> 00:18:51,086
Uh, well. Uh...
391
00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:53,544
Well, let's hope it
has plenty of punch.
392
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:03,832
Uh, I'll go get a cold compress.
393
00:19:03,856 --> 00:19:05,055
I'll be right back.
394
00:19:08,361 --> 00:19:10,339
Uncle Arthur, I'm
gonna start over again,
395
00:19:10,363 --> 00:19:12,607
and if you're not here by
the time I count to three,
396
00:19:12,631 --> 00:19:13,775
you've had it.
397
00:19:13,799 --> 00:19:16,078
And so have we.
Sam, what's happened?
398
00:19:16,102 --> 00:19:17,546
Well, apparently Uncle Arthur's
399
00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:18,680
made up with Aretha,
400
00:19:18,704 --> 00:19:21,150
and has given us
back his practical jokes.
401
00:19:21,174 --> 00:19:22,351
What's that for?
402
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:25,243
For me first, and
then for Larry.
403
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:32,327
One, two, three.
404
00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:33,495
Mr. Tate. Here.
405
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:35,197
This should do the trick.
406
00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:36,765
Are you all right, Tate?
407
00:19:36,789 --> 00:19:38,656
He never could take a punch.
408
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:42,638
Where am I?
409
00:19:42,662 --> 00:19:44,506
Well, if I didn't know better,
410
00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:47,242
I'd think you were
in a loony bin.
411
00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:49,645
Ah, yes, this certainly promises
412
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:51,513
to be an interesting evening.
413
00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,471
More fun than a
barrel of monkeys.
414
00:20:16,596 --> 00:20:18,908
Cute little fellas, aren't they?
415
00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:21,010
Stephens, where'd
these animals come from?
416
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,311
Yeah, where'd they come from?
417
00:20:22,335 --> 00:20:23,412
Well, actually...
418
00:20:23,436 --> 00:20:25,047
Never mind. Just
get rid of them.
419
00:20:25,071 --> 00:20:28,517
Oh, they're cute, Lionel.
Where's your sense of humor?
420
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,520
I don't see anything funny
about a room full of anthropoids.
421
00:20:31,544 --> 00:20:33,555
Uncle Arthur, you cut
out the monkeyshines
422
00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:35,190
and undo your spell.
423
00:20:35,214 --> 00:20:38,093
Heigh-ho, Samantha, my sweet.
424
00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:40,529
Don't "heigh-ho" me.
425
00:20:40,553 --> 00:20:43,154
You and your practical
jokes are destroying us.
426
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:50,005
Oh, cute little
fellas, aren't they?
427
00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:51,740
Not to me, they're not.
428
00:20:51,764 --> 00:20:53,976
They are ugly little beasts,
429
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,779
no cuter than your
practical jokes.
430
00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:59,281
Arthur, we are
finished for all time.
431
00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:01,250
And if I never see you again,
432
00:21:01,274 --> 00:21:03,752
it will be too soon.
433
00:21:03,776 --> 00:21:06,188
Goodbye.
434
00:21:06,212 --> 00:21:07,489
You're right.
435
00:21:07,513 --> 00:21:09,291
She's a phony.
436
00:21:09,315 --> 00:21:13,350
Stacked, but a phony.
437
00:21:14,854 --> 00:21:16,265
I demand an explanation.
438
00:21:16,289 --> 00:21:17,766
And it better be a good one.
439
00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:20,269
Good? It's gonna
have to be great.
440
00:21:20,293 --> 00:21:21,470
And you're going to get it.
441
00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:22,537
In just a minute.
442
00:21:22,561 --> 00:21:24,006
A-And get rid of these monkeys.
443
00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:26,675
Oh, sure thing.
444
00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:28,710
Uncle Arthur, I beg of you.
445
00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:30,345
Please undo your spell.
446
00:21:30,369 --> 00:21:32,113
Why not?
447
00:21:32,137 --> 00:21:34,350
I've lost my love again.
448
00:21:34,374 --> 00:21:36,585
That's not all
you're gonna lose.
449
00:21:36,609 --> 00:21:38,287
Shh!
450
00:21:38,311 --> 00:21:40,456
Uh, Mr. Rockfield,
I'm sure Stephens
451
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,757
has an explanation.
452
00:21:41,781 --> 00:21:44,727
Practical jokes,
return to the roost,
453
00:21:44,751 --> 00:21:49,131
and give Uncle Arthur
a great big boost.
454
00:21:49,155 --> 00:21:51,688
And as soon as he gets
back, he'll get rid of the...
455
00:21:57,329 --> 00:21:59,641
Where'd they go?
456
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:03,000
Okay, Sammy? Ciao.
457
00:22:04,336 --> 00:22:06,737
It's time to face the music.
458
00:22:11,411 --> 00:22:13,289
Well, you asked me to
get rid of the monkeys,
459
00:22:13,313 --> 00:22:14,856
so I got rid of them.
460
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,759
Oh. Oh.
461
00:22:16,783 --> 00:22:18,994
You promised an explanation,
462
00:22:19,018 --> 00:22:21,397
a good one... A very good one.
463
00:22:21,421 --> 00:22:23,298
Well, go... Go
ahead, sweetheart.
464
00:22:23,322 --> 00:22:24,500
Tell 'em about your plan.
465
00:22:24,524 --> 00:22:26,735
Don't be modest. Plan?
466
00:22:26,759 --> 00:22:28,003
Well, you know.
467
00:22:28,027 --> 00:22:30,272
The... The plan to show
that you can enjoy your home
468
00:22:30,296 --> 00:22:32,775
without making it a
Coney Island fun house.
469
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:34,242
Oh, of course.
470
00:22:34,266 --> 00:22:35,477
That plan.
471
00:22:35,501 --> 00:22:37,546
Darrin always says
472
00:22:37,570 --> 00:22:39,581
that a home can be
fun without air blasts
473
00:22:39,605 --> 00:22:42,985
or sticking glasses
or barrels of monkeys.
474
00:22:43,009 --> 00:22:44,608
Or even a boxing glove.
475
00:22:46,045 --> 00:22:49,524
Maybe later I'll explain
how much fun that was.
476
00:22:49,548 --> 00:22:51,326
I hope there's more.
477
00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:53,661
Of course.
478
00:22:53,685 --> 00:22:56,064
We show the Coney
Island fun house,
479
00:22:56,088 --> 00:22:58,166
and next to that
a home furnished
480
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:00,235
with Rockfield furnishings.
481
00:23:00,259 --> 00:23:02,170
And the slogan might be, uh,
482
00:23:02,194 --> 00:23:03,838
"Put some fun in your home
483
00:23:03,862 --> 00:23:05,540
with Rockfield furnishings."
484
00:23:05,564 --> 00:23:06,875
That's your explanation
485
00:23:06,899 --> 00:23:08,577
for everything that
happened tonight?
486
00:23:08,601 --> 00:23:10,212
Uh-huh.
487
00:23:10,236 --> 00:23:12,113
I like it. I like the approach,
488
00:23:12,137 --> 00:23:14,115
and I like the slogan.
I knew you would.
489
00:23:14,139 --> 00:23:16,718
I'm crazy about it myself.
490
00:23:16,742 --> 00:23:20,789
Well, you must admit,
it does have punch.
491
00:23:20,813 --> 00:23:22,224
It's different.
492
00:23:22,248 --> 00:23:24,059
But you certainly
went to a lot of trouble
493
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:26,228
to make your point.
494
00:23:26,252 --> 00:23:28,497
Well, would this moment
have been as meaningful
495
00:23:28,521 --> 00:23:31,521
if Darrin had just
said "fun house"?
496
00:23:32,658 --> 00:23:34,069
No, it wouldn't.
497
00:23:34,093 --> 00:23:36,972
Mrs. Stephens, your
husband's got quite a head
498
00:23:36,996 --> 00:23:38,028
on his shoulders.
499
00:23:39,965 --> 00:23:41,298
I certainly have.
500
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,285
Sam, this is one
evening I'll never forget,
501
00:23:50,309 --> 00:23:51,786
even if I tried.
502
00:23:51,810 --> 00:23:53,555
And I plan to
do a lot of trying.
503
00:23:53,579 --> 00:23:55,190
Well, I'm very proud of you.
504
00:23:55,214 --> 00:23:57,392
You were in control all the way.
505
00:23:57,416 --> 00:23:59,828
Control? I was in shock.
506
00:23:59,852 --> 00:24:02,264
Well, sweetheart, the
house is back to normal.
507
00:24:02,288 --> 00:24:03,965
Yeah? For how long?
508
00:24:03,989 --> 00:24:06,801
Your lovesick,
joke-sick Uncle Arthur
509
00:24:06,825 --> 00:24:08,803
just might... Shh!
510
00:24:08,827 --> 00:24:10,472
He's liable to hear you.
511
00:24:10,496 --> 00:24:12,374
I heard that.
512
00:24:12,398 --> 00:24:14,175
He heard you.
513
00:24:14,199 --> 00:24:16,678
Uncle Arthur, go away.
514
00:24:16,702 --> 00:24:19,281
Ouch!
515
00:24:19,305 --> 00:24:22,985
Sammy, you know if
there's one thing I can't stand,
516
00:24:23,009 --> 00:24:25,087
it's having my ear tweaked.
517
00:24:25,111 --> 00:24:28,323
How about boxed?
518
00:24:28,347 --> 00:24:30,714
Now, there's an idea.
519
00:24:40,225 --> 00:24:41,959
Woo-hoo!
35010
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