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1
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:12,825
Good morning, sweetheart.
2
00:00:12,849 --> 00:00:13,952
Hmm. Mwah.
3
00:00:17,633 --> 00:00:20,052
Good morning, sweetheart.
4
00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:23,018
Uh, it doesn't matter.
How about soft-boiled?
5
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,438
We're running a special
6
00:00:25,463 --> 00:00:27,847
on soft-boiled
eggs this morning.
7
00:00:27,871 --> 00:00:29,541
Or maybe over easy?
8
00:00:30,747 --> 00:00:35,442
Darrin... i-is something
bothering you?
9
00:00:35,466 --> 00:00:37,047
What makes you think that?
10
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:40,191
Intuition.
11
00:00:40,215 --> 00:00:43,492
Well, as a matter
of fact, there is.
12
00:00:44,665 --> 00:00:48,153
The question is,
should I or shouldn't I?
13
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:51,031
My intuition could
use a few more facts.
14
00:00:51,055 --> 00:00:53,139
Should you or
shouldn't you what?
15
00:00:53,163 --> 00:00:55,179
How sweet!
16
00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:58,548
Mr. and Mrs.
America at breakfast.
17
00:01:02,999 --> 00:01:05,350
What? Am I intruding?
18
00:01:05,374 --> 00:01:08,193
Only in the sense
that you're butting in.
19
00:01:08,217 --> 00:01:11,171
Aren't we the terrible
tiger this morning.
20
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,911
Mother, dear.
21
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:14,081
Hm?
22
00:01:14,105 --> 00:01:16,055
Why don't you go and play...
23
00:01:16,079 --> 00:01:17,360
with the children?
24
00:01:17,385 --> 00:01:19,703
Oh, that's a delicious idea.
25
00:01:19,727 --> 00:01:22,880
Uh, Tabitha. Adam.
26
00:01:22,904 --> 00:01:25,379
Grandmama is here.
27
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:30,541
What's happened to her?
She's turned into Mary Poppins.
28
00:01:30,565 --> 00:01:34,511
Sweetheart, don't ask
questions. Just relax and enjoy it.
29
00:02:30,048 --> 00:02:32,600
So the minute I heard we
got the Gotham account,
30
00:02:32,624 --> 00:02:35,444
I started blue-skying
some ideas on my own.
31
00:02:35,468 --> 00:02:36,949
♪ Dear Little Buttercup ♪
32
00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:38,924
♪ Though I could
never Tell why ♪
33
00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:41,366
♪ But still I'm called Buttercup
Poor Little Buttercup ♪
34
00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:43,139
♪ Sweet Little
Buttercup, I... ♪ Blue...
35
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:47,153
Blue-skying some
ideas on my own.
36
00:02:47,177 --> 00:02:49,662
Figuring that Larry would
offer me the account,
37
00:02:49,686 --> 00:02:52,238
and I'd be that much ahead.
♪ Pretty young sweethearts ♪
38
00:02:52,262 --> 00:02:53,844
♪ And wives ♪
Well, I've been waiting
39
00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:55,449
and waiting.
40
00:02:55,473 --> 00:02:58,494
The question is,
do I keep waiting,
41
00:02:58,518 --> 00:03:00,334
or do I just barge
into his office
42
00:03:00,358 --> 00:03:02,296
and demand that
he give it to me?
43
00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:07,326
♪ Then buy of your Buttercup
Dear Little Buttercup ♪
44
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:08,665
♪ Sailors should Never be shy ♪
45
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,545
Well, um, my... My
advice is... Is to wait.
46
00:03:12,569 --> 00:03:16,460
And my advice to
you is don't wait.
47
00:03:16,484 --> 00:03:18,835
Find out what your
mother is up to.
48
00:03:18,859 --> 00:03:21,378
I have a feeling if
she's singing now,
49
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,404
we'll be crying later.
50
00:03:23,677 --> 00:03:26,530
Uh, maybe she's just
turned over a new leaf.
51
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,742
Sure. From poison
ivy to poison oak.
52
00:03:29,766 --> 00:03:30,912
All right.
53
00:03:30,936 --> 00:03:32,584
I-I'll check it out
and call you later.
54
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:33,857
♪ Poor Little Buttercup... ♪
55
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,786
Bye-bye, sweetheart. Goodbye.
56
00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:40,748
♪ Then buy of your Buttercup
Dear Little Buttercup ♪
57
00:03:40,772 --> 00:03:42,487
♪ Sailors should Never be shy ♪
58
00:03:42,511 --> 00:03:43,892
♪ So buy of Your Buttercup ♪
59
00:03:43,916 --> 00:03:45,566
♪ Poor Little Buttercup ♪
Mother!
60
00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:48,576
You called me, my darling?
61
00:03:48,601 --> 00:03:50,316
What's it all about, Mother?
62
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:53,828
How should I know?
I'm not a philosopher.
63
00:03:53,852 --> 00:03:56,706
Oh, this room, it's
lovely. M-Mother.
64
00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:59,081
The colors, the fabrics,
65
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,557
and the lamps, the rugs.
66
00:04:01,581 --> 00:04:03,296
Oh, it's all you.
67
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,694
Mother, what are you up to?
68
00:04:06,766 --> 00:04:09,152
Your mother just
wants to sit down
69
00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,961
and have a nice cup of tea
70
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,103
with her little girl.
71
00:04:14,127 --> 00:04:16,478
Sweet.
72
00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:20,726
And deliver this
very special message
73
00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:23,103
by very special delivery.
74
00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:25,243
That's me.
75
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:26,537
Uh-oh.
76
00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,298
"Samantha," you
are ordered to appear
77
00:04:31,322 --> 00:04:32,770
"at the witches' convocation
78
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,480
"in Salem, Massachusetts,
79
00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,320
"starting when the planet Icarus
80
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,796
"passes between
Jupiter and Pluto,
81
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:42,271
"and ending when the
High Priestess Hepzibah
82
00:04:42,295 --> 00:04:43,442
"so wills it.
83
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:47,457
Signed, Endora,
Lord High Chairman."
84
00:04:47,481 --> 00:04:48,996
Lord High Chairman?
85
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:52,744
I was appointed by Her
Serene Majesty Hepzibah.
86
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:56,122
Mother, I am not leaving
my husband or my children
87
00:04:56,146 --> 00:04:59,434
to attend some boring
witches' convention. B...
88
00:04:59,459 --> 00:05:03,180
Boring? Oh, it's gonna be a gas.
89
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:05,624
On the agenda is the appointment
90
00:05:05,648 --> 00:05:07,697
of the new resident
witch of Salem.
91
00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:11,378
We're going to have workshops
on spells and incantations.
92
00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:15,393
And symposiums on
anti-pollution recipes.
93
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,266
Mother. Eh... W-what?
94
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:20,477
I am not going to any
witches' convention.
95
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:22,841
And please send my regrets.
96
00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,228
If I do...
97
00:05:25,252 --> 00:05:28,674
you may regret it
more than you realize.
98
00:05:28,698 --> 00:05:30,100
Au revoir.
99
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:33,581
B-but... But... But...
100
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,703
Come in.
101
00:05:42,949 --> 00:05:44,431
Morning, Larry.
102
00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:45,902
I figured it's time
we had a talk
103
00:05:45,926 --> 00:05:47,442
about the Gotham account. Mm.
104
00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:50,386
Aren't they something?
Steel mills in Pittsburgh,
105
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,657
textiles in India,
106
00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:53,765
rubber plantations
in South Africa. Oil...
107
00:05:53,789 --> 00:05:57,042
And to think it all
started with fried chicken.
108
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,583
Makes you want to cry.
109
00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:01,794
It makes me want to talk about
who's gonna handle the account.
110
00:06:01,818 --> 00:06:03,935
Of course, by all means.
111
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:07,013
It's between Ferguson
and Carmichael.
112
00:06:07,037 --> 00:06:08,272
What's your feeling?
113
00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:11,161
My feeling is I want to handle
114
00:06:11,185 --> 00:06:12,366
the Gotham account myself.
115
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:14,139
Surely you jest.
116
00:06:14,163 --> 00:06:16,112
I've laid out some
preliminary concepts.
117
00:06:16,136 --> 00:06:18,053
Darrin, you're
overworked as it is.
118
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:19,358
Not when it comes to something
119
00:06:19,382 --> 00:06:21,800
with as much prestige
as Gotham Industries.
120
00:06:21,824 --> 00:06:25,647
Darrin, listen to
the old silver fox.
121
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:28,658
Every team has a coach
who calls the signals,
122
00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:30,766
and I'm it for this team.
123
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,275
When the play calls
for you to carry the ball,
124
00:06:33,299 --> 00:06:35,015
I give you the ball.
125
00:06:35,039 --> 00:06:36,374
Not before.
126
00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:38,862
Larry, I want the account,
127
00:06:38,886 --> 00:06:40,903
and I am not interested
in a raise or a bonus...
128
00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:42,876
A raise is out of the question.
129
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:44,605
I simply cannot afford...
130
00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:48,296
Did you say, "No raise"?
131
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,139
No raise, no bonus.
132
00:06:51,163 --> 00:06:53,671
Darrin, you got the ball.
133
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,700
The pay's the same,
but I don't care.
134
00:06:58,724 --> 00:07:00,073
The prestige involved in...
135
00:07:00,097 --> 00:07:01,845
In representing
Gotham Industries
136
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:04,322
is like representing...
Oh, I don't know.
137
00:07:04,346 --> 00:07:06,128
Well, have another drink.
138
00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,900
Maybe you can think of it.
139
00:07:07,925 --> 00:07:10,009
Oh. Hey, what are
you trying to do?
140
00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:12,217
I'm trying to help
you celebrate.
141
00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:13,388
Well, then you have it.
142
00:07:13,412 --> 00:07:16,655
Well, just a sip.
143
00:07:22,645 --> 00:07:24,127
Sam.
144
00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:25,698
Mm.
145
00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,394
I was thirsty.
146
00:07:28,768 --> 00:07:31,353
Okay. Out with it.
147
00:07:31,377 --> 00:07:33,962
Uh, out... Out with what?
148
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:37,275
Out with whatever it is
you're not outing with.
149
00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:40,152
Well... Let me
help get you started.
150
00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:42,259
It has something to
do with your mother,
151
00:07:42,283 --> 00:07:45,538
and why she was all sugar
and no spice this morning.
152
00:07:45,562 --> 00:07:46,942
Only indirectly.
153
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,285
I-I mean, if we're
going to be perfectly fair,
154
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:51,126
she may be Lord High Chairman,
155
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:53,700
but she still has to take orders
156
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,931
from the High
Priestess Hepzibah.
157
00:07:57,505 --> 00:07:59,388
I-I'm not sure I want
to hear the rest of it.
158
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,385
Maybe you'd like to read it.
159
00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:17,253
They've gotta be kidding.
160
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:19,494
Well, o-of course, I said no.
161
00:08:19,518 --> 00:08:21,802
But Mother said, "Before
you make up your mind,
162
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:23,944
why don't you discuss
it with Durwood...?"
163
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:25,383
Uh, "Darrin."
164
00:08:25,407 --> 00:08:27,390
So that's why she put on
165
00:08:27,414 --> 00:08:29,163
the Miss Goody-Two-Shoes act.
166
00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:32,542
Oh, I'd like to give
her a piece of my mind.
167
00:08:32,566 --> 00:08:34,047
Make it a small piece.
168
00:08:34,071 --> 00:08:35,921
You have very little to spare.
169
00:08:35,945 --> 00:08:38,130
Mother, this is a
private discussion.
170
00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:40,036
I am sure that
Darrin can do without
171
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,578
your interruptions
and your insults.
172
00:08:42,602 --> 00:08:45,890
How can you let this
mortal mistake alienate you
173
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:48,700
from your grand and
glorious heritage?
174
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,340
Some heritage.
175
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:53,172
Giving hotfoots to
the rest of the world.
176
00:08:54,144 --> 00:08:55,447
Bigot.
177
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,671
What is that supposed to mean?
178
00:08:58,695 --> 00:09:01,815
It means "a man
who is prejudiced
179
00:09:01,839 --> 00:09:05,161
against those who do not
think or behave as he does."
180
00:09:05,185 --> 00:09:07,369
You're so right, Endora. Hm.
181
00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:09,443
I don't like the way you think.
182
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:10,748
And as for your behavior,
183
00:09:10,772 --> 00:09:13,959
you've set mother-in-lawhood
back a hundred years.
184
00:09:13,983 --> 00:09:15,565
Uh, I've had it
with you, Endora.
185
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:19,446
You've changed me into a
horse, a mule, a monkey...
186
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:22,658
Enough. I admit it.
187
00:09:22,682 --> 00:09:25,903
That I've failed to find
your true character.
188
00:09:25,927 --> 00:09:27,409
You're not noble enough
189
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,014
to be a horse. That's cute.
190
00:09:29,038 --> 00:09:30,821
You're too stubborn
to be a mule.
191
00:09:30,845 --> 00:09:32,660
That's nice. And
you don't have nearly
192
00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:34,935
the sense of humor of a monkey.
193
00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:36,241
Oh, she's a riot.
194
00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:38,549
What you really are... Mother.
195
00:09:38,573 --> 00:09:40,344
Is a toad.
196
00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:48,708
Oh.
197
00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:51,730
Uh, Mother?
198
00:09:51,754 --> 00:09:55,142
Mother, you put Darrin
back the way you found him.
199
00:09:55,166 --> 00:09:56,881
Of course, dear.
200
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:59,792
When he comes to his senses.
201
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,320
What? But that may...
202
00:10:07,544 --> 00:10:09,461
Oh.
203
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,468
Sweetheart.
204
00:10:11,492 --> 00:10:12,806
When are you going to learn
205
00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:15,783
not to be like that with Mother?
206
00:10:15,807 --> 00:10:17,858
Well, I must say, for a toad,
207
00:10:17,882 --> 00:10:19,519
you're beautiful.
208
00:10:23,235 --> 00:10:25,039
Hm. Your lips are cold.
209
00:10:28,387 --> 00:10:31,475
Oh. You poor thing.
210
00:10:31,499 --> 00:10:33,504
Are you comfortable, sweetheart?
211
00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:37,998
Well, um, I don't blame
you for being upset.
212
00:10:38,022 --> 00:10:40,908
But it was a teensy
bit insensitive of you
213
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:43,306
to attack all witches.
214
00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:47,801
Well... How is it
going to help matters
215
00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:50,131
to give Mother a dose of warts?
216
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,626
Well, if you insist
on being stubborn,
217
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:57,034
I can turn myself into a toad,
218
00:10:57,058 --> 00:10:59,041
the kids into polliwogs,
219
00:10:59,065 --> 00:11:01,717
and the four of us can
live happily ever after
220
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:03,959
on a nice, clean lily pad,
221
00:11:03,983 --> 00:11:06,692
having a few bugs for dinner.
222
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,386
It doesn't appeal to you, huh?
223
00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:14,530
Well, there is an alternative.
224
00:11:14,554 --> 00:11:16,125
We could give in.
225
00:11:18,368 --> 00:11:20,943
I'm proud of you, sweetheart.
226
00:11:22,952 --> 00:11:25,170
All right, Mother. You win.
227
00:11:25,194 --> 00:11:27,914
I'll go to Salem.
Now undo your thing.
228
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,040
Oh.
229
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,659
Mother. I don't
think that's very ni...
230
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:41,886
Nice.
231
00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:56,248
There. You're as good as new.
232
00:11:56,272 --> 00:11:57,453
Well, then how come I've got
233
00:11:57,478 --> 00:11:59,918
this hankering for flies?
234
00:12:03,332 --> 00:12:04,312
Mm.
235
00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:05,717
Darn it, I missed him.
236
00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:07,825
Darrin, don't kid around.
237
00:12:07,849 --> 00:12:11,137
I just wanted you to know
that I have a sense of humor.
238
00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:14,215
Even about being
turned into a toad.
239
00:12:14,239 --> 00:12:15,854
I just hope Larry
has a sense of humor
240
00:12:15,878 --> 00:12:17,694
about my asking for a vacation.
241
00:12:17,718 --> 00:12:19,200
Vacation?
242
00:12:19,224 --> 00:12:21,440
Well, you didn't think I'd
let you go to Salem alone?
243
00:12:21,464 --> 00:12:24,775
Well, n-no. No, of course not.
244
00:12:26,115 --> 00:12:27,998
But... But you said
that you just talked Larry
245
00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:29,536
into giving you that account.
246
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,443
Well, the same talent
that talked him into it
247
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:32,749
will talk him out of it.
248
00:12:32,773 --> 00:12:34,020
But you said that account
249
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,094
was the biggest thing
that ever happened to you.
250
00:12:36,118 --> 00:12:38,503
Wrong. You're the biggest thing
251
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:40,299
that ever happened to me.
252
00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:45,216
I'll handle Larry. Don't
you worry about it.
253
00:12:47,793 --> 00:12:50,735
That's not what
I'm worried about.
254
00:12:58,165 --> 00:12:59,836
Come in.
255
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:03,728
Good morning.
256
00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:06,104
And what a morning
it's going to be.
257
00:13:06,128 --> 00:13:08,612
And afternoon. And evening.
258
00:13:08,636 --> 00:13:10,485
At 10:00, you meet
with Art and Copy.
259
00:13:10,509 --> 00:13:11,690
At lunch, you have a meeting
260
00:13:11,714 --> 00:13:13,731
with Gotham's public
relations people.
261
00:13:13,755 --> 00:13:15,672
In the afternoon...
Larry, can I just say...?
262
00:13:15,696 --> 00:13:17,913
Oh, you don't have to
thank me. You deserve it.
263
00:13:17,937 --> 00:13:19,217
Well, maybe I don't deserve it
264
00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:21,392
as much as Ferguson
and Carmichael.
265
00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:23,968
There's no room in the
business world for saints,
266
00:13:23,992 --> 00:13:26,243
so take off your
halo and get to work.
267
00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:27,749
Oh, let me put it another way.
268
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,689
I could use a little vacation.
269
00:13:29,713 --> 00:13:31,730
Come July, you'll have one.
270
00:13:31,754 --> 00:13:35,064
I may not be tired in
July. I-I'm tired right now.
271
00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:37,919
What are you trying to tell me?
272
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,256
Uh, I'm trying to tell you
273
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,937
that I haven't had a
vacation in four years.
274
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:44,308
I don't care if you haven't had
275
00:13:44,332 --> 00:13:47,654
a vacation in 400 years.
276
00:13:47,678 --> 00:13:49,662
Yesterday, you
practically bludgeoned me
277
00:13:49,686 --> 00:13:51,534
to give you the Gotham account.
278
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,307
And now you want to blow town?
279
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,248
Uh, I know it sounds
a little unreasonable.
280
00:13:55,272 --> 00:13:57,590
The word is "outrageous."
281
00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:59,966
Oh, I'm only suggesting
a postponement
282
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:01,538
of two or three weeks.
283
00:14:01,562 --> 00:14:04,236
I've already promised
Gotham that...
284
00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:08,597
Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
285
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:10,370
Gotham has executive offices
286
00:14:10,394 --> 00:14:12,745
in every major
capital of the world.
287
00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:15,489
London, Paris, Rome, Copenhagen.
288
00:14:15,513 --> 00:14:17,061
I could send you
around the world
289
00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:18,789
and call it research in-depth.
290
00:14:20,129 --> 00:14:23,016
Uh, that's not exactly
what we had in mind.
291
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,529
They also have offices in
Turkey, Spain, Australia.
292
00:14:26,553 --> 00:14:30,264
What Sam and I had in mind
was Salem, Massachusetts.
293
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,275
Salem, Massachusetts?
294
00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:37,669
When I've just offered
you London, Rome, Paris?
295
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,409
I hate to be stubborn
about it, Larry,
296
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:42,553
but we kind of have
our hearts set on Salem.
297
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,263
See, Sam has relatives there,
298
00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:48,911
and the weather is
beautiful this time of year.
299
00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:51,274
And they make a
great clam chowder.
300
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,385
That's much too
drab for the reception.
301
00:15:00,409 --> 00:15:02,861
Why don't we hop over
to Paris this afternoon...
302
00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:05,604
I am not speaking
to you, Mother.
303
00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:08,147
Now what have I done?
304
00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:11,258
You changed my
husband into a toad.
305
00:15:11,282 --> 00:15:12,763
But I turned him back.
306
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,458
Don't I get points for that?
307
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,815
Oh. You've become
308
00:15:17,839 --> 00:15:20,524
much too sensitive
about Durwood.
309
00:15:20,548 --> 00:15:21,796
I think separate vacations
310
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,959
will be healthy
for the both of you.
311
00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:28,220
There are not going to
be separate vacations.
312
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:29,893
When you go to Salem.
313
00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:33,539
When Darrin and I go to Salem.
314
00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:37,320
Ten, nine, eight...
What are you doing?
315
00:15:37,344 --> 00:15:39,327
It's called a countdown.
316
00:15:39,351 --> 00:15:41,701
Depending on the
atmospheric continuum,
317
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,400
the news should reach
the council just about...
318
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:48,683
now.
319
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:04,351
Hepzibah's coming.
320
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:06,994
Who is Hepzibah? Oh.
321
00:16:07,018 --> 00:16:08,466
Darrin, that's like asking,
322
00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:11,176
"Who is Julius Caesar?"
323
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,949
Well, I'm emperor
in this castle,
324
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,325
so just cool it.
Darrin, listen to me.
325
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,699
She's a very powerful woman.
326
00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:19,606
A-a-and she can be, well,
327
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,238
y-you know, kind of weird.
328
00:16:23,411 --> 00:16:24,992
Yeah, well, that
doesn't bother me.
329
00:16:25,016 --> 00:16:28,238
I took basic training in
weird from your mother.
330
00:16:28,262 --> 00:16:31,706
Well, my mother is an
angel compared to her.
331
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:04,102
Welcome to our humble
abode, Your Majesty.
332
00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:07,000
We are touched by your poverty.
333
00:17:08,809 --> 00:17:11,628
Well, uh... Uh, begging
Your Grace's pardon,
334
00:17:11,653 --> 00:17:13,658
uh, but we are not poor.
335
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,077
May I present my
husband, Darrin?
336
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:22,435
Bow.
337
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,349
Bow? I'll thank her to
put our furniture back.
338
00:17:26,373 --> 00:17:28,546
Please. Bow.
339
00:17:30,053 --> 00:17:32,962
You may advance to our presence.
340
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,014
Firm turn.
341
00:17:39,555 --> 00:17:41,772
We would estimate 17 hands high.
342
00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:44,381
Not a bad specimen for a mortal.
343
00:17:44,405 --> 00:17:47,091
At three furlongs,
I'm unbeatable.
344
00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:49,098
We are not amused.
345
00:17:49,122 --> 00:17:50,972
No jokes, sweetheart.
346
00:17:50,996 --> 00:17:53,648
Samantha? Y-y-yes, ma'am?
347
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,782
You will explain to us the
meaning of your behavior.
348
00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:01,945
Well, I-I don't see why there
should be any confusion.
349
00:18:01,969 --> 00:18:05,726
We are not confused.
We are appalled.
350
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:06,998
How dare you suggest
351
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:09,105
a heretic attend
the Holy Councils.
352
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,576
Oh, you've got it all wrong.
353
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,918
Wrong, you say?!
354
00:18:12,942 --> 00:18:16,967
We are never wrong
about anything.
355
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:19,509
W-what he meant to say was that
356
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,153
he had no intention of
357
00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:23,490
attending the convention.
358
00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:26,323
Even... Even if I were
involved... Invited.
359
00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:28,642
Samantha.
360
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,014
Yes, ma'am.
361
00:18:30,038 --> 00:18:32,656
We have always had a soft spot
362
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,701
in our royal heart for you.
363
00:18:35,725 --> 00:18:36,872
Because of this,
364
00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:38,678
we have sometimes
looked the other way
365
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:42,459
when your behavior has
been less than witchlike.
366
00:18:42,483 --> 00:18:45,269
With all due
respect, Your Grace,
367
00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:46,540
I will go to Salem
368
00:18:46,564 --> 00:18:49,953
only if my husband is
permitted to go with me.
369
00:18:49,977 --> 00:18:51,157
If I may say a word...
370
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:54,268
If you say a word,
it may be your last.
371
00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:55,908
Shh.
372
00:18:55,932 --> 00:18:59,253
We are very upset.
373
00:18:59,278 --> 00:19:00,558
For your own protection,
374
00:19:00,582 --> 00:19:03,591
I suggest you disappear
for the time being.
375
00:19:06,303 --> 00:19:08,855
- Sam, where are you?
- Here.
376
00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:10,316
Where "here"?
377
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:13,762
Uh, just a minute, sweetheart.
378
00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:17,620
Do you see me now? Yes.
379
00:19:17,644 --> 00:19:19,281
Just hold it right there.
380
00:19:24,369 --> 00:19:26,820
Where are you going?
Maybe I can't be seen,
381
00:19:26,844 --> 00:19:29,731
but believe me, I'm
going to be heard.
382
00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:32,407
Just be careful,
sweetheart. Don't worry.
383
00:19:32,431 --> 00:19:34,181
I'm merely going
to tell that old bat
384
00:19:34,205 --> 00:19:36,322
what I think of her. Uh-oh.
385
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,329
Endora!
386
00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:41,139
O Benevolent Majesty.
387
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:44,351
O Supreme Supremacy.
388
00:19:44,376 --> 00:19:47,596
O Mother of Us All.
389
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,004
"Mother of Us All?"
390
00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:51,944
We are not her mother.
391
00:19:51,969 --> 00:19:53,284
You are. And a fine mess
392
00:19:53,308 --> 00:19:56,295
you've made of it, we must say.
393
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:59,740
You promised us this
marriage would not last.
394
00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:03,354
I'm still working on
it, Your Highness.
395
00:20:03,378 --> 00:20:06,297
I sent him back in time...
396
00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:08,973
I turned him into an old toad,
397
00:20:08,997 --> 00:20:11,751
a middle-aged
goat, a baby python.
398
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,360
And he withstood the pressure?
399
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:15,966
He loves my daughter.
400
00:20:15,990 --> 00:20:18,141
Perhaps there is more to the lad
401
00:20:18,165 --> 00:20:20,170
than meets the eye.
402
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:23,348
Retire.
403
00:20:35,327 --> 00:20:37,945
I thought I sent
you to your room.
404
00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:40,354
Now, let's get something
straight, Hepzibah.
405
00:20:40,378 --> 00:20:43,097
This is my home, and
you're an unwelcome guest.
406
00:20:43,122 --> 00:20:45,607
However, if you behave
in a respectable manner,
407
00:20:45,631 --> 00:20:47,881
I'm willing to tolerate
your presence.
408
00:20:47,905 --> 00:20:50,023
Sweetheart, if you
love me, you'll...
409
00:20:50,047 --> 00:20:52,030
Silence!
410
00:20:52,054 --> 00:20:55,343
Let us hear what he
has to say, Samantha.
411
00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,048
Through the years, Hepzibah,
412
00:20:57,072 --> 00:20:59,123
I've taken a lot of
guff from you witches.
413
00:20:59,147 --> 00:21:00,294
But there is a limit.
414
00:21:00,318 --> 00:21:02,469
And believe me,
we've reached it.
415
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:04,376
If I give in on this,
I'll be surrendering
416
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,984
the right to express
myself in my own house.
417
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:09,293
Perhaps your young man
418
00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:12,426
should be seen as well as heard.
419
00:21:17,012 --> 00:21:19,698
Thank you, Hepzibah.
I've had my say.
420
00:21:19,722 --> 00:21:21,638
Uh, Y-Your Majesty.
421
00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:25,318
You must admit
that Darrin is a mortal
422
00:21:25,342 --> 00:21:27,826
with a great deal of courage.
423
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:31,295
He is a mortal with
a great big mouth.
424
00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:36,247
And it is going to get
him into great big trouble.
425
00:21:37,386 --> 00:21:40,171
But he does love you, Samantha.
426
00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:41,711
And anyone who
loves you that much
427
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:44,186
can't be all bad.
428
00:21:44,210 --> 00:21:46,394
There must be
some little quality.
429
00:21:46,419 --> 00:21:50,141
Some basic attraction.
430
00:21:50,165 --> 00:21:52,705
Whatever it is, it eludes us.
431
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,732
However, we have
considered the matter,
432
00:21:56,756 --> 00:22:00,077
and in our supreme benevolence,
433
00:22:00,101 --> 00:22:03,122
we have decided
to withhold decision
434
00:22:03,146 --> 00:22:06,389
as to whether this marriage
should be dissolved.
435
00:22:08,164 --> 00:22:11,719
Since this is the first
and only mixed marriage
436
00:22:11,743 --> 00:22:14,027
of witch to commoner,
437
00:22:14,051 --> 00:22:18,042
it requires a great
deal of study.
438
00:22:18,066 --> 00:22:21,956
So, as overburdened as
we are with affairs of state,
439
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:24,767
we will reside in this
house for one week
440
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:29,708
to observe this
most unusual union.
441
00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:34,826
Now you may say "thank you."
442
00:22:36,902 --> 00:22:38,149
Say it!
443
00:22:38,173 --> 00:22:41,583
Say it. Please say it.
444
00:22:42,823 --> 00:22:43,859
Thank you.
445
00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:46,948
Samantha.
446
00:22:46,972 --> 00:22:50,461
Our home is honored
by your presence.
447
00:22:50,485 --> 00:22:53,527
Now, that's good manners.
448
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,928
Ooh. Caesar and Cleopatra
449
00:22:59,952 --> 00:23:02,169
are ready for their din-din.
450
00:23:02,193 --> 00:23:04,433
They prefer zebra meat.
451
00:23:13,669 --> 00:23:16,756
I think Hepzibah takes
sugar with her tea.
452
00:23:16,780 --> 00:23:19,500
Good. I hope she gets a
cavity in her upper molar
453
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:21,674
that goes straight
through to her sick brain.
454
00:23:21,698 --> 00:23:23,346
Darrin, if you have
to blow your stack,
455
00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:25,789
will you do it a
bit more quietly?
456
00:23:25,813 --> 00:23:27,294
"Zebra meat."
457
00:23:27,318 --> 00:23:28,465
I'm sorry, Your Highness,
458
00:23:28,489 --> 00:23:30,339
but the supermarket
was all out of it.
459
00:23:30,363 --> 00:23:32,279
Well... Caesar and Cleopatra
460
00:23:32,303 --> 00:23:36,160
will just have to develop
a taste for leg of lamb.
461
00:23:36,184 --> 00:23:37,431
But that's our dinner.
462
00:23:37,456 --> 00:23:39,505
We'll go out for dinner.
463
00:23:39,529 --> 00:23:41,981
And for breakfast,
and for sleeping.
464
00:23:42,006 --> 00:23:44,792
I'm not gonna let her turn
my house into a laboratory,
465
00:23:44,816 --> 00:23:46,799
with me as the prize guinea pig.
466
00:23:46,823 --> 00:23:48,939
Sweetheart, there's
nothing we can do about it,
467
00:23:48,963 --> 00:23:50,913
so you might as
well relax and...
468
00:23:50,937 --> 00:23:51,973
Enjoy it?
469
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,330
Tolerate it.
470
00:23:55,354 --> 00:23:57,135
Tolerate her telling me
471
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,139
whether our marriage
472
00:23:58,163 --> 00:23:59,567
will be dissolved or not?
473
00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,823
Sweetheart, when you married me,
474
00:24:02,848 --> 00:24:04,530
you married some of my problems.
475
00:24:04,554 --> 00:24:07,239
Well, one of them just moved in.
476
00:24:07,263 --> 00:24:10,339
So, uh, let's just make
the best of it. Okay?
477
00:24:11,445 --> 00:24:12,948
Okay. Yeah.
478
00:24:14,222 --> 00:24:15,201
Here.
479
00:24:15,225 --> 00:24:16,205
Hm.
480
00:24:16,229 --> 00:24:18,034
Don't get your
fingers in the way.
481
00:24:31,351 --> 00:24:34,728
Well, you don't expect us
to live in a hovel, do you?
482
00:24:36,068 --> 00:24:37,683
Sam.
483
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,456
Well...
484
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,233
The fate of Samantha's
marriage hangs in the balance
485
00:24:42,258 --> 00:24:44,307
until Hepzibah makes
her royal decision,
486
00:24:44,331 --> 00:24:46,070
next week on Bewitched.
34534
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