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1
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,744
Think of it, Thing.
2
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,581
For 25 years,
3
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,667
we've attempted to contact
Fester in the great beyond,
4
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,671
and for 25 years, nothing.
5
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:19,927
I'm beginning to think
my brother truly is lost.
6
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,981
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
7
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,152
Help me.
8
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,500
Look at her.
9
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,837
I would die for her.
10
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,506
I would kill for her.
11
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,509
Either way, what bliss.
12
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:10,561
-Unhappy, darling?
-Oh, yes.
13
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,272
Yes, completely.
14
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:22,656
Gomez...
15
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,409
Sun.
16
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,582
Oh, Tish, that's French.
17
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,666
Our.
18
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,837
Cara mia.
19
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,926
En garde, Monsieur Soleil!
20
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,513
Gomez?
21
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,015
Querida?
22
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:51,435
Last night you were unhinged.
23
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,688
You were like some
desperate howling demon.
24
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,482
You frightened me.
25
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,069
Do it again.
26
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,870
Thank you, Lurch.
27
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,284
Damn you, Addams!
28
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,745
Sorry about the window, Judge.
29
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,247
Keep the ball. I have a whole bucketful.
30
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,087
You moron!
31
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,468
It is a milestone, Tish.
32
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:09,596
This very night, our 25th séance.
33
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,434
All those years, gnawed by guilt,
34
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,853
undone by woe,
35
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,774
burning with uncertainty.
36
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,987
Don't torture yourself, Gomez.
37
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,823
That's my job.
38
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,493
Oh, Tish.
39
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,038
Imagine, darling, if
Fester did come back.
40
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:39,668
Half alive, barely
human, a rotting shell.
41
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,545
Don't tease.
42
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,474
Ouch!
43
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,727
Stop it! I'm warning you.
44
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:04,943
-Look, darling. Tully is here.
-Ah!
45
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,780
-Tully!
-Romping with Gate.
46
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,827
These are your last paying
clients, may I remind you?
47
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,288
-If it gives you pleasure.
-Something has to.
48
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,166
Like a decent coat,
something dressy, for evening.
49
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,877
Ask for a loan. Beg!
50
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,129
No loans. I am not a bum.
51
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,339
Don't say it. I'll get the money.
52
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,966
I have a plan.
53
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,302
This is all so humiliating.
54
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,764
-Why did I marry you?
-Because I said yes.
55
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,601
I'm here to see Mrs.
Addams about the charity auction.
56
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:40,062
Oh!
57
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,772
Stop it! Let go!
58
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,589
-Ah, missed!
-What's that?
59
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,973
Dirty pool, old man.
60
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,809
I like it.
61
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,571
Had enough?
62
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:32,656
Ha!
63
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,162
Where's my pen?
64
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,125
Never mind. I'll take yours.
65
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,425
First, the old business.
66
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:56,847
Charity
auction, it's ridiculous!
67
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:01,434
-Perhaps it's in here.
-I don't think so.
68
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,485
"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe."
69
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,410
"Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe."
70
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,373
"Uncle Niknak."
71
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,504
"The Fester Addams
Offshore Retirement Fund"?
72
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,340
-What would it do?
-What wouldn't it do?
73
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:35,927
Fester, all tribute to thee.
74
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:38,638
-Some called him inhumanly evil.
-No!
75
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:42,100
Only our parents. I called him brother.
76
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:46,021
And his memory must live
on forever through money.
77
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,940
I'm gonna deposit the funds
under my name for tax purposes.
78
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:50,984
That's inspired.
79
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,279
He would've wanted it
that way. Beloved Fester.
80
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,365
Indeed!
81
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,578
-For Fester!
-For Fester! A brother!
82
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,246
-My brother!
-One of a kind!
83
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,458
-The doctors all said...
-Kind to animals, so good with children!
84
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,419
-They never proved anything.
-$1 million is the perfect amount.
85
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,047
-It's brilliant.
-It's untraceable!
86
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,010
But, Tully, it's not old business.
87
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,679
It's going to have to wait. You
know the rules better than that.
88
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:23,391
Why? B-But this is different. This
is in my name. Make an exception.
89
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,478
Old business is old business,
and new business is new business,
90
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,854
and this is new business,
91
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:30,565
and we do not discuss
new business until...
92
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:35,820
next quarter.
93
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,530
Next quarter?
94
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,783
Next quarter?
95
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:46,164
Fine lunge, but your
riposte... tsk tsk tsk, a tad rusty.
96
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,379
Make yourself comfortable, old man,
97
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,006
while I get the money
for the monthly expenses.
98
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,534
There it is. Just
what we've been searching for.
99
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,786
Thank you, Thing.
100
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,500
My God. What is it?
101
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,628
A finger trap from the
court of Emperor Wu.
102
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,547
It must be worth a fortune.
103
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:41,094
Oh, Morticia! This is too extravagant!
104
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,805
Even for the auction.
105
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,682
Let's keep it.
106
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,268
Hush, Mama.
107
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,687
It's for charity. Widows and orphans.
108
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,023
We need more of them.
109
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,192
-Margaret?
-Mm-hmm?
110
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,446
About the séance tonight.
111
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,324
I wish you'd come. It's Gomez.
112
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,576
I'm terribly worried about him.
113
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,704
He won't eat. He can't sleep.
114
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,248
He keeps coughing up blood.
115
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,251
He coughs up blood?
116
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,463
Well, not like he used to.
117
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,634
Down, kitty!
118
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,090
There, the monthly expenses.
119
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,350
Miss Bradbury.
120
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,188
Miss Bradbury!
121
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,315
She's gone home, Mr. Alford.
122
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,609
Oh, Mrs. Craven!
123
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,947
-I was just about to call you.
-I'm certain you were.
124
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:27,450
You haven't met my son
Gordon, have you, Mr. Alford?
125
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,661
Hello.
126
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,793
Is this the one, Mother?
That deadbeat you mentioned?
127
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,879
No, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
128
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,799
Hold on. Hold on. Hold
on. You have to listen to me.
129
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,802
Do we, Mr. Alford? And why?
130
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,179
Please, hear me out!
131
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,015
Hear me out!
132
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,852
Please. Please! Ah!
133
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:55,937
Your call, Mother.
134
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,899
Gordon and I enjoy a
very special relationship.
135
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,569
-She's a pip!
-Refreshing, no?
136
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,612
-Down, Gordon.
-Mother?
137
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:05,822
-Gordon!
-Gordon!
138
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:12,871
We've lent you a considerable
sum, many thousands of dollars.
139
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:13,955
Payment due.
140
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,499
I don't have the money to
repay you. I've tried everything.
141
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,170
-Oh, Gordon, I want to believe him.
-So do I.
142
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,379
Make me proud.
143
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,256
No, no, no.
144
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,767
-He lied to us, Mother.
-No, no. It's not what you think.
145
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,103
Those are doubloons
for the Addams account.
146
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,188
Addams?
147
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,815
There's more, there's a
fortune, but nobody can get to it.
148
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,317
Don't you think I've tried?
149
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,028
Have you? Have you tried hard enough?
150
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,740
-Ask him, sweetheart.
-No, no, no, sweetheart. Don't ask.
151
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,790
Fester.
152
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,717
-It's a miserable night.
-I know, darling.
153
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719
Séance weather.
154
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,431
Children, we're starting!
155
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,892
Put down that antenna.
156
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:26,569
It's unbelievable. This hideous
creature and my little boy.
157
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,366
They could be twins.
158
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,662
But they're his family. What
makes you think they'll fall for it?
159
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,748
You shave your head, we
dress you up. No problem.
160
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,042
They'll think he's Fester,
their long-lost brother.
161
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,336
I hope so, Mr. Alford, for your sake.
162
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,380
Hey, I've been the
Addams' lawyer for years.
163
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,507
-They're morons.
-Obviously.
164
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,551
-Now what about the gold?
-They got this vault--
165
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,886
-Where?
-I'm not sure.
166
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,388
That's a problem, isn't it?
167
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,558
Now, listen, Fester's
been missing for 25 years.
168
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,476
He and Gomez had some sort of a fight,
169
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,895
and Gomez feels
incredibly guilty about it.
170
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,772
He'll tell you anything. Just ask.
171
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:07,110
-It's foolproof.
-It had better be. Now, get out.
172
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,320
It's gonna be great.
173
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:12,574
You're gonna get back all
the money I owe you and more.
174
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,575
You'll see. Really.
175
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,455
This is it, Mother. The
one we've been waiting for.
176
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,751
No more loan-sharking,
no more storefront scams.
177
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,588
I get the gold, and we're gone.
178
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,673
And Tully takes the rap.
179
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:29,799
Gordon, it's brilliant.
180
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,718
No, not Gordon!
181
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,887
-Of course not.
-Fester.
182
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,814
Big night for you guys, eh, small fry?
183
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,610
Hello, sweetheart.
184
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:50,737
Could you?
185
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,078
Oh, thank God.
186
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,830
Welcome, honored guests.
187
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,417
Entrails?
188
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,269
Sing, O spirits. Hearken all souls.
189
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:28,608
Every year on this date, we offer
a clarion call to Fester Addams.
190
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,068
Stop it.
191
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,152
Pugsley.
192
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,825
Kids.
193
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,787
From generation to generation,
194
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,623
our beacon to the beyond.
195
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:48,336
All close eyes and join hands.
196
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,219
Ow! What a grip!
197
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,930
Ow! Oh, my hand!
198
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:02,850
My hand! She's got my hand!
199
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,986
-Excuse me.
-Okay, pumpkin, sit down.
200
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,279
Join the fun.
201
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,323
Mama, you should know better.
202
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,575
Thing, you're a handful.
203
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:21,786
Wednesday.
204
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,872
Let us ransom you from
the power of the grave.
205
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:28,167
Tonight, O death, let us be your plague.
206
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,086
Mama.
207
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,171
Fester Addams...
208
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,180
I feel that he's near.
209
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:48,020
Fester Addams, gather your strength
210
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,940
and knock three times.
211
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,446
Did you hear that?
212
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,073
-Ask again, Mama, quickly.
-By all means.
213
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,992
Ask. Ask.
214
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:06,038
Fester Addams, I demand
that you knock again!
215
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,343
He's at the door!
216
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,653
-Could it be?
-Is it him?
217
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,906
-Is it possible?
-Oh, my God.
218
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,703
-Fester.
-Gomez.
219
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,350
Good
evening. I am Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
220
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:15,817
He was found in Miami,
tangled in a tuna net.
221
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:19,821
It was just last month
during the Hurricane Helga.
222
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,324
The sky, it was black like pitch.
223
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:27,495
The waves, they were walls
of doom. Can you imagine?
224
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:31,290
They drag him from the ocean,
from the very jaws of oblivion.
225
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:32,750
I'm telling you.
226
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:36,462
There were tests, so many tests!
227
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:40,716
A complete psychological profile.
228
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,679
At long last, the Florida
Department of the Fish and the Game,
229
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:48,474
they say, "Lo and behold,
oh, my, oh, my, oh, my,
230
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:50,893
go tell it on the mountains,
231
00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,312
he is your brother."
232
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,732
Boom!
233
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,527
They give him to me at Human Services,
234
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:03,573
and I am bringing him,
after all these years,
235
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,492
after who knows what heartache,
236
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,744
after the naked and the dead,
237
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:12,415
I am bringing him home to you!
238
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,125
-That's preposterous.
-Margaret...
239
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,711
Isn't that the most ridiculous
thing you've ever heard?
240
00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,629
-Blossom.
-It certainly is.
241
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:19,547
Ha.
242
00:22:21,716 --> 00:22:23,926
-Now you're back.
-Yes, back.
243
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:27,346
Back to share your joys, your sorrows.
244
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:30,725
-Hey, everything.
-Well, I just don't know.
245
00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:32,643
Honey, how does this work, again?
246
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,729
An infant would understand.
247
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:41,736
Fester Addams, home at long last.
248
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:45,156
Well, at least for a week.
249
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,657
A week?
250
00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:48,868
Don't be ridiculous. You're home.
251
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,786
Sorry, but I have to get back.
252
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,749
I've got a lot of things cooking
in the Bermuda Triangle.
253
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:55,833
Oh, Gomez.
254
00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:59,754
-The Bermuda Triangle.
-Devil's Island.
255
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,756
The Black Hole of Calcutta.
256
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,424
Excuse us.
257
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,508
Second honeymoon.
258
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:10,056
Dr. Pinder-Schloss,
will you be staying with us too?
259
00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:12,350
No, no. I must be going.
260
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:16,437
But I will be back, you can bet, to
be checking on Fester's adjustment.
261
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,482
Cool.
262
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,817
Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle.
263
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,861
Not even for a vacation.
264
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:25,488
Everyone knows that.
265
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:29,533
Oh, my little bundle. So
much you don't understand.
266
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:33,829
The human spirit, it is a
hard thing to kill.
267
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,666
Even with a chainsaw.
268
00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:46,467
Unpacking?
269
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,552
Let me.
270
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,680
It's all right. I can do it.
271
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:53,182
Crowbar.
272
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,188
Dynamite.
273
00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:07,321
Cyanide.
274
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,869
Fester, as if we'd run out.
275
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:19,250
Good night.
276
00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:52,533
Nosy little brat.
277
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,305
Who's there?
278
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:35,094
My own dear brother.
279
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:39,014
I've got goose bumps.
280
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:40,933
I know.
281
00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:44,478
Screams in the night.
282
00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:46,397
It can only mean one thing.
283
00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:49,733
He's home.
284
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,989
Please! Please!
285
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:57,533
Leave me alone!
286
00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:25,060
Breakfast?
287
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:30,441
Damn, it's good to
have you back. Let's go.
288
00:27:33,527 --> 00:27:34,612
Two out of three?
289
00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:42,286
Home cooking!
290
00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:45,206
There's nothing like it in the world.
291
00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:46,916
May I have the salt?
292
00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:50,377
What do we say?
293
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,422
Now.
294
00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,558
What is this?
295
00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:07,228
Mama's spécialite de la maison.
296
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,521
Oh, Tish.
297
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,901
Start with the eyes.
298
00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:17,696
Did you sleep well?
299
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,117
-Like the dead.
-Really?
300
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,036
Who would have thought
the Bermuda Triangle
301
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,663
could change a man so much?
302
00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:29,291
You used to toss and turn all night.
We had to chain you to the bedpost.
303
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,252
Doesn't make sense.
304
00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:37,716
The Bermuda Triangle is a very
strange and mysterious place.
305
00:28:38,342 --> 00:28:41,512
You'd be surprised at all
the things you don't know.
306
00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:44,390
She certainly would.
307
00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:47,434
Wednesday adores the Bermuda Triangle.
308
00:28:47,518 --> 00:28:48,894
She studies it.
309
00:28:48,978 --> 00:28:50,854
Death at sea. She's hooked.
310
00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:52,314
Ask me anything.
311
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:59,196
Being in my old room
sure brings back memories.
312
00:29:00,489 --> 00:29:04,118
-Remember Camp Custer?
-For preteen offenders.
313
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,379
Aren't memories precious?
314
00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:19,508
Today I'd like to wander
through the house, remembering.
315
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,844
No, no. Sorry, old man.
No wandering today.
316
00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:24,138
Today we're going straight to the vault.
317
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,234
Bravo, Pugsley!
318
00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:44,658
"Greed."
319
00:29:53,167 --> 00:29:55,085
I feel like we're children again.
320
00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:57,338
Tag. You're it!
321
00:29:58,756 --> 00:30:00,382
> Playmate, come out and play with me »
322
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:02,009
> And bring your dollies three >
323
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:03,344
> Climb up my apple tree »
324
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:04,595
> Look down my rain barrel »
325
00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:05,763
> Slide down my cellar door b
326
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:07,014
> And we'll be jolly friends »
327
00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:08,807
» Forevermore >
328
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:22,363
Smell that air, Fester.
329
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:27,076
Like a tomb.
330
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:37,211
The sea-- your second home.
331
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,005
Ship ahoy.
332
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:58,065
Do you think
that's really Uncle Fester?
333
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:01,193
Father says so, but I
think Mother isn't sure.
334
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,532
Pugsley, sit in the chair.
335
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:08,409
-Why?
-So we can play a game.
336
00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:15,457
What game?
337
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:20,421
It's called "Is There a God?"
338
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:47,156
The vault!
339
00:31:47,990 --> 00:31:51,618
Two to the right, ten to the left.
340
00:31:51,702 --> 00:31:53,579
And then around to...
341
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,956
Oh. Uh... Five.
342
00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,041
Eleven.
343
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:02,045
Two, ten, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes.
344
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,298
So many years.
345
00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,976
-Welcome back.
-Thanks.
346
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:19,730
Our secret place.
347
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,691
Sanctum sanctorum.
348
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,777
If these walls could speak, eh, old man?
349
00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:29,948
-What would they say?
-You tell me.
350
00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:32,117
-You first.
-Uh-uh.
351
00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,286
Senior partner.
352
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,206
Junior spaceman.
353
00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:40,834
First a brandy. Do the honors.
354
00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:43,170
I've got a real treat in store.
355
00:32:43,253 --> 00:32:45,672
Where is it, you ridiculous imbecile?
356
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:30,050
Aha!
357
00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:32,594
Showtime!
358
00:33:41,562 --> 00:33:42,896
Oh...
359
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,210
There, the debutante ball.
360
00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:08,463
Remember that fateful night?
361
00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:10,632
Of course.
362
00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:17,806
Your first cigar.
363
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,016
What?
364
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:21,101
Come on, old man. I've
smoked since I was five.
365
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:22,811
Mother insisted.
366
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:28,275
Flora and Fauna.
367
00:34:28,358 --> 00:34:30,527
Quite the pair, eh, Gomez?
368
00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:32,613
Can you ever forgive me?
369
00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:35,532
What?
370
00:34:36,325 --> 00:34:37,784
I didn't love them,
371
00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:41,747
yet I wooed them
both out of foolish pride.
372
00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:45,459
You were so dashing, you could
have any woman you wanted,
373
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,752
dead or alive.
374
00:34:47,628 --> 00:34:49,087
I was jealous.
375
00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:51,632
Insanely jealous.
376
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:53,133
I admit that now.
377
00:34:56,553 --> 00:34:59,222
But I did not mean to drive you off,
378
00:34:59,306 --> 00:35:01,224
not to the Bermuda Triangle.
379
00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:03,810
Water under the bridge.
380
00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:06,188
Forgiven. Forgotten.
381
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,781
Come on. Say it.
382
00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:19,201
-Say the secret password.
-The password?
383
00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:22,537
Come on. Stop fooling. You remember.
384
00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:25,707
Please. I'm choking. Please.
385
00:35:25,791 --> 00:35:28,585
You forgot our secret password?
386
00:35:28,669 --> 00:35:31,129
The word we used 100 times a day?
387
00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:33,006
Our special private name for each other?
388
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,759
That was a long time ago
when we were children.
389
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:41,181
You almost killed me, you demented freak.
390
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:44,643
Poor devil, what did they
do to you in that Bermuda Triangle?
391
00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:47,437
But if he's not Uncle
Fester, then who is he?
392
00:35:47,521 --> 00:35:48,980
Somebody else.
393
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,485
It has to warm up.
394
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:54,569
Why?
395
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:56,238
So it can kill you.
396
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:58,115
I knew that.
397
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:03,120
-Children, what are you doing?
-I'm going to electrocute him.
398
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:05,622
But we're late for the charity auction.
399
00:36:05,706 --> 00:36:07,999
-But, Mother...
-I said no.
400
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:10,210
Please?
401
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,671
Oh, all right.
402
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:24,224
This magnificent piece
403
00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:28,228
is encrusted with rubies
and 15 emerald chips.
404
00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:33,692
It was donated by Morticia
and Gomez Addams.
405
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:36,361
Remember, this year,
over half our proceeds
406
00:36:36,445 --> 00:36:39,406
will benefit the elderly
and the mentally disabled.
407
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,410
Il open the bidding at $5,000.
408
00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:46,037
Five...
Ha! Not good enough.
409
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:48,665
-20,000!
-What are they doing?
410
00:36:48,749 --> 00:36:51,543
-I have 20.
-Twenty-five.
411
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,086
-Cara mia?
-Twenty-five.
412
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,839
Thirty. Mon sauvage.
413
00:36:55,922 --> 00:36:57,340
Thirty-five!
414
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:03,221
-Fifty. I have $50,000.
415
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:05,015
Your turn, my ecstasy.
416
00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:08,852
Fifty thousand, going
once. Fifty thousand, going twice.
417
00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:14,399
Sold to Morticia Addams for $50,000.
418
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,413
Isn't it too enchanting?
419
00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:30,040
How do you take it off?
420
00:37:33,210 --> 00:37:34,628
There's a trick to it...
421
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:38,840
...of course.
422
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,395
"How do you take it off?" That's absurd.
423
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:55,398
That finger trap was a party
favor at his tenth birthday!
424
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:01,863
Oh, no.
425
00:38:02,489 --> 00:38:04,241
Father's playing with his trains.
426
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:08,245
He wore that finger trap for two years!
427
00:38:08,328 --> 00:38:10,497
Mother had to teach
him to eat with his feet.
428
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:13,250
And the combination and the password
429
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,086
and my cigar and he slept so well!
430
00:38:19,339 --> 00:38:20,882
He's using the diesel.
431
00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,520
The covered bridge.
432
00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:38,191
Dead man's curve.
433
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:34,581
It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?
434
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:48,094
Spirits above me, give me a sign.
435
00:39:48,178 --> 00:39:51,181
Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned?
436
00:40:06,696 --> 00:40:07,906
Sleepless night?
437
00:40:11,284 --> 00:40:12,786
Walk with me, Fester.
438
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:20,877
Aunt LaBorgia.
439
00:40:20,961 --> 00:40:23,338
Executed by a firing squad.
440
00:40:24,881 --> 00:40:26,716
Cousin Fledge.
441
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,512
Torn limb from limb by four wild horses.
442
00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:33,807
And darling Uncle Eimar.
443
00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:38,520
Buried alive.
444
00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,231
Psychopaths,
445
00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:42,816
fiends,
446
00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:44,401
mad-dog killers.
447
00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:47,821
Brutes, Fester. Pioneers.
448
00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:49,781
Lest we forget.
449
00:40:51,408 --> 00:40:52,993
Your beloved Muerto.
450
00:40:54,995 --> 00:40:58,415
After you left, he was
simply a different vulture.
451
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,292
He wouldn't circle.
452
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:04,295
He wouldn't peck.
453
00:41:05,922 --> 00:41:08,299
That's how much you mean to this family.
454
00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:17,559
Mother and Father Addams.
455
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:22,147
How I wish the children
could have known them better.
456
00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:25,442
But tell that to an angry mob.
457
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:34,117
And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus
allos subjectatos nunc.”
458
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,954
"We gladly feast on those
who would subdue us."
459
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,707
Not just pretty words.
460
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:48,465
As an Addams, you understand
completely, don't you?
461
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:54,054
As an Addams, yes, I do.
462
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:58,850
Good night, Fester.
463
00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:03,396
Rest in peace.
464
00:42:12,739 --> 00:42:14,699
They're on to me,
Mother. I'm almost sure.
465
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,578
Of course I tried. I still can't
find it. You've got to get over here.
466
00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:20,914
Arsenic, cyanide.
Cyanide. Arsenic, arsenic.
467
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:22,999
Don't say that.
468
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:25,627
You know I do.
469
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:31,925
His trains are everywhere. The
children are beside themselves.
470
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:33,843
Is that for your brother?
471
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,096
I don't think so.
472
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:45,772
This can't go on.
473
00:42:46,314 --> 00:42:48,525
How can I help him? Tell me, Mama.
474
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:52,904
"Troubled husbands."
475
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:54,405
-"Adultery"?
-Oh, no.
476
00:42:55,532 --> 00:42:58,576
-"Financial, money troubles"?
-No.
477
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:03,289
-"Turned into toad or reptile."
-Is there an index?
478
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:08,086
They know I'm a fraud, the whole bunch.
479
00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:10,296
It's not going to work.
480
00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:13,633
Who knows? Gomez, that overheated moron?
481
00:43:14,217 --> 00:43:16,761
He's no moron. He's Fester's brother.
482
00:43:16,845 --> 00:43:20,765
They had some awful fight years ago.
He's suspicious, they all are, I can tell.
483
00:43:20,849 --> 00:43:23,143
Really? Well, thank God I came over here.
484
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:27,730
I will counsel the troubled
family, ease their distress.
485
00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:30,608
It's my calling. Remember, Gordon?
486
00:43:30,692 --> 00:43:31,985
What?
487
00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:33,945
I'm a doctor.
488
00:43:36,322 --> 00:43:40,076
Why don't you speak to Fester,
darling? He's right outside the door.
489
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,371
I would speak with
Fester if that were Fester.
490
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:46,791
But that is not. That's an impostor!
491
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:49,460
An impostore!
492
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,380
A charlatan! A sham!
493
00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:54,090
A counterfeit!
494
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:00,305
Hmm.
495
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:04,851
O, villain,
villain, smiling, damned villain!
496
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:07,145
Who calls me a
villain? Breaks my pate across?
497
00:44:07,228 --> 00:44:08,062
Bloodshed.
498
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,939
Plucks off my
beard and blows it in my face?
499
00:44:10,023 --> 00:44:12,025
If I must
strike you dead, I will.
500
00:44:18,907 --> 00:44:20,074
Ohh...
501
00:44:20,742 --> 00:44:21,743
Ahh...
502
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:23,536
No!
503
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:25,330
No, no!
504
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:27,248
No, no, no, no!
505
00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:30,168
Give me that sword.
506
00:44:31,211 --> 00:44:33,880
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
507
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:36,799
-He's only a child.
-No excuse.
508
00:44:37,425 --> 00:44:40,470
Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
509
00:44:40,553 --> 00:44:44,015
A faker! A phony!
510
00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,808
An utter fraud!
511
00:44:45,892 --> 00:44:48,394
A base, deceitful--
512
00:44:48,478 --> 00:44:50,271
Mr. Addams!
513
00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:54,609
I believe I am understanding.
I can help, yes?
514
00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:59,155
The theory of displacement.
515
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:00,782
Is this familiar?
516
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:02,533
No. Tish?
517
00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:05,828
Oh, it is too exciting.
518
00:45:05,912 --> 00:45:07,455
I will explain.
519
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:09,123
Is it unpleasant?
520
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:11,376
Deeply.
521
00:45:13,795 --> 00:45:17,966
Your very own brother,
you drive him away.
522
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:19,717
"Go. Off with you."
523
00:45:19,801 --> 00:45:23,930
But then you are feeling
the little black monster.
524
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:26,599
-Pugsley.
-Guilt. Yes?
525
00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:30,436
Your brother returns, you feel guilty,
526
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,813
you displace.
527
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:33,106
I do?
528
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:37,235
The feelings in your brain
cells, they bubble and collide.
529
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:40,446
You suspect things.
530
00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:43,658
You love him, but you resent him.
531
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,868
Love, hate. Hate, love.
532
00:45:46,995 --> 00:45:48,413
Like for Mama. No?
533
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,708
But I didn't hate my
mother. It was an accident.
534
00:45:52,292 --> 00:45:56,421
It's a very common psychosis.
I'm seeing it every day.
535
00:45:57,046 --> 00:45:58,172
Lucky doctor.
536
00:45:59,007 --> 00:46:02,635
Displacement. How bizarre.
537
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,263
And here I thought
Fester was the problem.
538
00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:07,390
-He's sullen.
-He's furtive.
539
00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:08,725
-Backstabbing.
-He sulks.
540
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:10,727
-I suspect him.
-You're unbalanced.
541
00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:13,855
And I hate him. By God, you're right!
542
00:46:14,397 --> 00:46:16,316
He is Fester!
543
00:46:16,399 --> 00:46:18,109
Thank you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
544
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:20,695
I do what I can.
545
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:23,698
You see, children, there's lots to learn.
546
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,287
"Gangrene."
547
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,122
Ooh.
548
00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:33,458
Uncle Fester, how do you know so much?
549
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:36,294
I've been around. I pick things up.
550
00:46:36,377 --> 00:46:38,129
In the Bermuda Triangle?
551
00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:42,383
Look, children, a new chapter.
552
00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:45,470
"Scabs."
553
00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:55,897
Three parts dynamite
with a nitroglycerin cap.
554
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:59,776
It's perfect for small holes,
carports and tool sheds.
555
00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:07,658
Mother.
556
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,661
Everyone will be at the
children's play tonight, correct?
557
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:13,289
Oh, yes. I've been working with them.
558
00:47:13,373 --> 00:47:15,833
-It's going to be fun.
-Fun?
559
00:47:17,627 --> 00:47:20,004
Is that what we're here for? Fun?
560
00:47:20,088 --> 00:47:23,883
Oh, darling, forgive me. You
see what they've driven me to?
561
00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:27,053
I've raised a hand to my
child, my reason for living.
562
00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:32,975
-You can't go to the play.
-But the kids...
563
00:47:33,059 --> 00:47:35,561
The house will be deserted.
The vault will be ours.
564
00:47:35,645 --> 00:47:37,188
But, Mother...
565
00:47:38,439 --> 00:47:40,108
Can you hear it, my treasure?
566
00:47:40,817 --> 00:47:43,444
My heartbeat. It beats only for you.
567
00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:46,447
Listen closely. It says,
"Gordon, I love you.
568
00:47:46,531 --> 00:47:48,241
Gordon, the vault."
569
00:47:49,659 --> 00:47:51,160
I do hear it.
570
00:47:51,244 --> 00:47:55,790
Soon we'll have the money
and we'll be far from here.
571
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:58,835
Loving mother, grateful son.
572
00:47:59,544 --> 00:48:00,878
Understood?
573
00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:05,800
Ah.
574
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,845
There you are, at last.
575
00:48:10,179 --> 00:48:13,015
What a fool I was to doubt you.
576
00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:15,893
Dr. Pinder-Schloss explained everything.
577
00:48:15,977 --> 00:48:18,062
What a lovely woman. So chilly.
578
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,398
Displacement.
579
00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:21,983
It's a common psychosis.
580
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:24,152
-Isn't that grand?
-Is it?
581
00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:26,529
Look at it, Fester.
582
00:48:27,155 --> 00:48:28,823
The primeval ooze.
583
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,284
Quicksand, fumes, toxic waste.
584
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,369
It's all ours, Fester.
585
00:48:33,453 --> 00:48:35,872
You belong here, old man.
586
00:48:35,955 --> 00:48:36,956
Stay.
587
00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:38,749
You don't know what you're asking.
588
00:48:39,584 --> 00:48:42,837
You have a beautiful
wife, wonderful children,
589
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:45,131
a wasteland.
590
00:48:46,382 --> 00:48:47,633
I'm in the way.
591
00:48:48,676 --> 00:48:49,844
In the way?
592
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:53,514
-My brother?
-Gomez, take care!
593
00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:57,602
For you, life is all fun and games.
594
00:48:58,978 --> 00:49:01,856
A dance in a graveyard. Stench. Decay.
595
00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:04,317
But things change.
596
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,943
Precisely. You're back.
597
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:10,281
All those years apart, Fester.
598
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:12,158
We can't do that again.
599
00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:16,454
You're home.
600
00:49:40,603 --> 00:49:41,646
Fore!
601
00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:48,069
Damn you, Addams!
602
00:49:54,075 --> 00:49:55,076
Uncle Fester?
603
00:49:55,910 --> 00:49:58,329
Come on, Uncle Fester. Come to the play.
604
00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:01,040
I said I was busy.
605
00:50:01,916 --> 00:50:05,836
But you said you'd help
us, with the Shakespeare and the pus.
606
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:07,630
I changed my mind.
607
00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:25,565
Mrs. Addams, can I see you for a moment?
608
00:50:26,566 --> 00:50:28,943
I'm Susan Firkins. I'm
Wednesday's teacher.
609
00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:30,695
Oh, of course, Miss Firkins.
610
00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:33,239
Wednesday's told us so much about you.
611
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:46,794
Wednesday is an excellent
student, but, frankly, I'm concerned.
612
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,338
You see, this is our
class bulletin board.
613
00:50:49,422 --> 00:50:54,260
This month, our theme is our
heroes, people we love and admire.
614
00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:57,388
You see, Susan Ringo
has chosen the president.
615
00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:58,639
Isn't that sweet?
616
00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:02,560
And Harmony Feld has picked Jane Pauley.
617
00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,480
Have you spoken to her parents?
618
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:10,651
But Wednesday brought in this picture,
619
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:12,903
Calpurnia Addams.
620
00:51:13,613 --> 00:51:16,282
Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia.
621
00:51:16,365 --> 00:51:19,702
She was burned as a witch in 1706.
622
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:22,747
They say she danced
naked in the town square
623
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:24,665
and enslaved a minister.
624
00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:27,668
-Really?
-Oh, yes.
625
00:51:28,419 --> 00:51:32,882
But don't worry. We've told
Wednesday, college first.
626
00:51:33,966 --> 00:51:37,428
Isn't he adorable?
627
00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:39,305
I made this myself.
628
00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:40,765
It's charming.
629
00:51:40,848 --> 00:51:41,932
What is he, a lizard?
630
00:51:43,059 --> 00:51:44,060
An elf.
631
00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:47,229
Look at you.
632
00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:55,446
That's better.
633
00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:58,741
You are too precious for words.
634
00:51:58,824 --> 00:52:01,619
Why, I could just eat you alive.
635
00:52:01,702 --> 00:52:03,579
Oh, no, Margaret. Too young.
636
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:38,698
Wednesday. Pugsley. I changed my mind.
637
00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:40,783
Uncle Fester.
638
00:52:47,832 --> 00:52:49,792
Gordon? Gordon?
639
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,002
It's Mother.
640
00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:56,882
Damn it, where is he?
641
00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,969
I never should have used him.
642
00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:04,181
D> Free and easy »
643
00:53:04,265 --> 00:53:06,183
> When I am with you »
644
00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:10,980
> Getting to know what fo say »
645
00:53:11,063 --> 00:53:13,983
I knew you couldn't stay away, old man.
646
00:53:14,066 --> 00:53:16,402
> And breezy »
647
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:20,948
» Because of all The
most beautiful and new »
648
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,868
> Things that I am learning about you »
649
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:29,248
> Day by day
650
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,499
> By day b
651
00:53:33,335 --> 00:53:34,462
Damn it.
652
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:38,340
Gordon! Gordon!
653
00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:39,592
Are you there?
654
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:42,511
Gordon.
655
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,894
My goodness! Say! Look!
Would somebody come here?
656
00:53:49,977 --> 00:53:52,104
Oh, my! Oh, good... Oh! Aah!
657
00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:55,107
Oh, my! Hmm! Hmm! Hmm!
658
00:53:55,191 --> 00:53:59,153
How all occasions do inform
against me and spur my dull revenge!
659
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:02,740
Oh, from this time forth, my
thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!
660
00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:05,326
If I must strike you dead, I will.
661
00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:09,872
A hit,
662
00:54:09,955 --> 00:54:12,208
a very palpable hit.
663
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:14,001
Aah!
664
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:24,804
O proud death,
665
00:54:25,387 --> 00:54:28,474
what feast is toward
in thine eternal cell?
666
00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:33,938
Sweet oblivion, open your arms!
667
00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:52,790
Bravo!
668
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:56,794
-Bravo!
-Bravo!
669
00:54:57,336 --> 00:55:00,005
Bravo!
670
00:55:01,549 --> 00:55:02,925
Bravo!
671
00:55:03,551 --> 00:55:04,718
Bravo!
672
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:08,013
There were sailors, pirates
673
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:12,393
and a plane full of
tourists from Miami Beach,
674
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,145
all lost in the Triangle.
675
00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:18,899
Uncle Fester, will you
take me there someday?
676
00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:20,484
It's a promise.
677
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:23,070
-Good night, Wednesday.
-Good night.
678
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,655
You were terrific.
679
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,367
Uncle Fester?
680
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:52,308
A theatrical triumph.
681
00:55:53,058 --> 00:55:54,476
It's like a dream.
682
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:58,314
When we first met, it was
an evening much like this.
683
00:55:59,106 --> 00:56:00,733
Magic in the air.
684
00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:03,027
A boy.
685
00:56:03,819 --> 00:56:05,279
A girl.
686
00:56:05,362 --> 00:56:07,072
An open grave.
687
00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:09,408
It was my first funeral.
688
00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:12,870
You were so beautiful.
689
00:56:13,746 --> 00:56:15,497
Pale and mysterious.
690
00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:18,125
No one even looked at the corpse.
691
00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:21,253
Your cousin, Balthazar.
692
00:56:21,921 --> 00:56:23,505
You were still a suspect.
693
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:29,011
I couldn't stop staring at
you all through the eulogy.
694
00:56:30,346 --> 00:56:33,807
Your eyes, your mustache,
695
00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:36,352
your laugh.
696
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,064
You bewitched me.
697
00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:43,567
I proposed that very night.
698
00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:47,988
Just think, someday we'll be buried here
699
00:56:48,781 --> 00:56:53,661
side by side, six feet
under in matching coffins.
700
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,789
Our lifeless bodies
701
00:56:56,872 --> 00:57:01,168
rotting together for all eternity.
702
00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:05,089
Cara mia.
703
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:08,509
Mon sauvage.
704
00:57:39,039 --> 00:57:40,791
Hey, Bigfoot.
705
00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,423
Don't stare. Just get me out.
706
00:57:54,513 --> 00:57:55,639
Did you like the blood?
707
00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:59,560
-I was so proud.
-Weren't we all?
708
00:58:00,352 --> 00:58:02,271
Wednesday, play with your food.
709
00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:11,697
Mama.
710
00:58:11,780 --> 00:58:13,907
Who put this in here?
711
00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:19,038
-That's for company.
-Rascals.
712
00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:23,292
Doctor, you were so right.
713
00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:25,836
-What an evening.
-Fester fit right in.
714
00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:29,423
-The displacement is over.
-Well, isn't that nice?
715
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:32,926
-Does he really have to go?
-Yes, he does.
716
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:36,263
Well, if he insists upon leaving,
717
00:58:37,056 --> 00:58:38,807
we shall mark the occasion.
718
00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:41,185
Tish?
719
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:43,270
We've
planned a farewell party.
720
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:45,731
We've invited the entire clan.
721
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:48,192
What a lovely gesture.
722
00:58:48,776 --> 00:58:50,152
We're a family again,
723
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:53,197
and we owe it all to
you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
724
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:55,449
Please. Greta.
725
00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:56,825
Greta.
726
00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:00,537
Fester, walk me out.
727
00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:08,754
I'm fine, Mother. I'm
completely in control.
728
00:59:08,837 --> 00:59:11,298
They're not your family, Gordon. I am.
729
00:59:11,381 --> 00:59:13,217
They don't love you. I do.
730
00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:16,762
They're evil and corrupt and degraded.
731
00:59:16,845 --> 00:59:20,432
-I can give you that.
-I'm fine. Really.
732
00:59:20,516 --> 00:59:22,184
We'll see. Open up!
733
00:59:51,505 --> 00:59:52,631
A party?
734
00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:54,716
For me?
735
00:59:56,135 --> 00:59:57,136
Here?
736
01:00:04,685 --> 01:00:08,897
Tish, how long has it
been since we've waltzed?
737
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:11,191
Oh, Gomez.
738
01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:17,114
Hours.
739
01:01:08,916 --> 01:01:11,835
d Too
legit, too legit to quit »
740
01:01:11,919 --> 01:01:13,295
> Hey, hey b
741
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:15,756
d Too legit, too legit to quit »
742
01:01:24,264 --> 01:01:26,016
It, old man!
743
01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:30,312
You're right. Far too long.
744
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:39,988
-Don't let me out of your sight.
-Don't threaten me, Margaret.
745
01:01:40,072 --> 01:01:43,200
-These people are abnormal.
-Don't exaggerate.
746
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:52,334
-By all means! They're clients, Margaret.
-Oh!
747
01:01:52,417 --> 01:01:54,294
Whee!
748
01:02:00,175 --> 01:02:02,803
-Wednesday?
-Yes, Mother?
749
01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:05,430
Would you run upstairs and
check on your uncle, please?
750
01:02:07,391 --> 01:02:10,686
Why, Lumpy Addams. Look at you.
751
01:02:11,270 --> 01:02:12,646
All grown up.
752
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,243
Uncle Fester?
753
01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:31,623
-I understand.
-I hope so.
754
01:02:31,707 --> 01:02:33,166
And I'm counting on you.
755
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:35,919
Don't let me down. Don't buckle.
756
01:02:36,003 --> 01:02:39,047
It's not gonna be easy.
There are people everywhere.
757
01:02:39,131 --> 01:02:41,633
You can do it if you just stop whining.
758
01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:44,970
Nobody likes that. It's unattractive.
759
01:02:45,053 --> 01:02:49,474
All right. Fine. I will
try and reach the vault tonight.
760
01:02:49,558 --> 01:02:53,478
But if I can't, well, then that's it.
761
01:02:54,563 --> 01:02:55,647
Okay, Mother?
762
01:02:56,315 --> 01:02:58,942
I knew it. You are a fake.
763
01:02:59,026 --> 01:03:01,820
Come here, my little one.
764
01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:03,322
-Wednesday!
-Get her!
765
01:03:49,034 --> 01:03:52,204
Flora and Fauna Amor.
766
01:03:53,538 --> 01:03:55,499
I cannot see.
767
01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:58,418
I am blinded by such beauty.
768
01:03:58,502 --> 01:03:59,711
Gomez Addams.
769
01:03:59,795 --> 01:04:01,463
-You terrible flirt.
-Always was.
770
01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:03,090
-At least with me.
-Copycat!
771
01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:06,593
-Tag-along!
-Why, Gomez, the Amor twins.
772
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:09,137
-I've heard so much about you.
-Morticia--
773
01:04:09,221 --> 01:04:10,972
You nabbed him. This darling man.
774
01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:12,724
-He was mine!
-He was mine!
775
01:04:12,808 --> 01:04:15,519
Flora, Fauna, how can I compete?
776
01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:17,437
You're twice the woman I am.
777
01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:20,941
Tully, the Amor twins.
778
01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:23,652
They're waiting for Fester. Amuse them.
779
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:28,782
-Hello, Tully.
-Oh, my God.
780
01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:38,125
You mean you don't
know? It's too intriguing.
781
01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:41,711
Now that Fester's back, he's
king of the castle again, isn't he?
782
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:44,131
Fester's the older
brother, so he gets it all.
783
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:46,383
The house, the money, you name it.
784
01:04:46,466 --> 01:04:47,926
Fester's still single, isn't he?
785
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,179
-Are you, Mr. Alford?
-Why, Fauna.
786
01:04:51,263 --> 01:04:53,890
-I'm Fauna.
-I'm Flora.
787
01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:58,728
I'm flattered. Excuse me, ladies.
788
01:05:03,733 --> 01:05:06,862
I can't find her
anywhere. Let's just leave.
789
01:05:07,487 --> 01:05:09,614
-Out the back.
-Now pull yourself together.
790
01:05:09,698 --> 01:05:11,533
She'll turn up, the little cockroach.
791
01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:13,577
You get to the party or
they'll suspect something.
792
01:05:13,660 --> 01:05:15,829
-I'll be down soon.
-Yes, Mother.
793
01:05:23,170 --> 01:05:26,506
Everyone, your attention, please.
794
01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:34,473
Tonight we dance for our
treasured guest of honor,
795
01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:35,974
Fester Addams.
796
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:41,688
The mamushka!
797
01:05:43,398 --> 01:05:46,401
Taught to us by our Cossack cousins,
798
01:05:46,485 --> 01:05:49,613
the mamushka has been
an Addams family tradition
799
01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:50,864
since God knows when.
800
01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:54,326
We danced the mamushka
while Nero fiddled.
801
01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:57,537
We danced the mamushka at Waterloo.
802
01:05:57,621 --> 01:06:01,666
We danced the mamushka
for Jack the Ripper.
803
01:06:02,334 --> 01:06:05,545
And now, Fester Addams,
804
01:06:05,629 --> 01:06:09,716
this mamushka is for you.
805
01:09:19,864 --> 01:09:21,658
Wait!
806
01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:54,357
What the hell's going on over there?
807
01:09:54,441 --> 01:09:57,902
How would you like to be
rid of the Addamses for good?
808
01:09:58,820 --> 01:09:59,904
I'm serious.
809
01:10:00,822 --> 01:10:02,449
What can I do for you?
810
01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:06,828
You are gonna love this.
811
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:13,126
We've been married for almost 20 years.
812
01:10:14,669 --> 01:10:16,880
Sometimes it seems like more.
813
01:10:19,924 --> 01:10:23,970
Well, people grow. People change.
814
01:10:34,481 --> 01:10:36,566
Isn't it a beautiful night?
815
01:10:41,696 --> 01:10:44,032
You'll come see me before
you leave, won't you, Fester?
816
01:10:44,115 --> 01:10:46,326
I'll call once I'm alone.
817
01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:47,952
There's your ride, girls.
818
01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:04,010
You're a marvelous
dancer. It's been such fun.
819
01:11:07,222 --> 01:11:09,933
Oh, I can't. We mustn't.
820
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:17,649
Call me!
821
01:11:32,830 --> 01:11:34,123
Gordon.
822
01:11:34,207 --> 01:11:37,001
Gordon, Gordon, stop it. Gordon, no.
823
01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:39,462
Stop it, Gordon. Stop it!
824
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:40,672
Stop it, this instant.
825
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:45,426
-Is that lipstick all over your face?
-From the twins.
826
01:11:45,510 --> 01:11:48,263
The beauteous Amor twins.
827
01:11:48,346 --> 01:11:49,430
The twins?
828
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:52,767
Gordon, I don't understand
this. Let me get this clear.
829
01:11:52,850 --> 01:11:56,896
-Have you been having a good time?
-Yes! I have!
830
01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:58,356
It was marvelous.
831
01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:02,277
I sang up a storm and
danced till I dropped!
832
01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:16,332
-Mother?
-Mother? Mother? Who is that?
833
01:12:16,416 --> 01:12:19,669
- I don't think I recall.
-Mother, please.
834
01:12:19,752 --> 01:12:22,463
I'm just fine. I'm dandy.
835
01:12:22,547 --> 01:12:25,174
Don't concern yourself about me, Gordon.
836
01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:28,261
Please, return to your depraved orgy.
837
01:12:28,970 --> 01:12:31,097
Sometimes I think you're not even my son.
838
01:12:32,015 --> 01:12:35,018
-Don't say that.
-I'm just your mother.
839
01:12:35,101 --> 01:12:39,063
You only owe me your
entire existence on this planet.
840
01:12:39,147 --> 01:12:42,650
Please, Gordon, by all
means, go sing, dance, date.
841
01:12:42,734 --> 01:12:45,945
Oh, Mother, I'm so terribly sorry.
842
01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:52,410
It was just a party. It's over.
843
01:12:53,286 --> 01:12:54,579
It means nothing.
844
01:12:55,455 --> 01:12:58,666
The Siamese twins,
the hunchback, Cousin It,
845
01:12:59,334 --> 01:13:00,376
they're not you.
846
01:13:01,085 --> 01:13:03,379
Say it, Gordon. Make me believe it.
847
01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:07,383
I love you. And I want money.
848
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,302
We've got to find Tully.
849
01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:17,852
Look, our little boy.
850
01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:19,520
All tuckered out.
851
01:13:19,604 --> 01:13:23,566
It's so sweet. He looks
just like a little entree.
852
01:13:25,151 --> 01:13:28,196
-Where's the party?
-It's over, darling.
853
01:13:28,988 --> 01:13:32,575
-Have you seen your sister?
-Not since before the mamushka.
854
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:34,702
Gomez.
855
01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:38,247
Fan out. Pugsley, head for the dung heap.
856
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,917
Mama and Morticia, the
shallow graves. I'll take the abyss.
857
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,627
Lurch, check out the bottomless pit.
858
01:13:43,461 --> 01:13:45,129
-Fester?
-Up here!
859
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:50,343
Fester, you take the ravine and
the unmarked abandoned well.
860
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:54,430
Someone should stay behind
in case she comes back.
861
01:13:54,972 --> 01:13:56,808
Good man. Good thinking!
862
01:13:56,891 --> 01:13:58,601
Then who'll take the swamp?
863
01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:05,566
That's the spirit, Thing.
Lend a hand. Let's go!
864
01:14:12,740 --> 01:14:13,741
Gordon!
865
01:14:15,243 --> 01:14:16,536
Don't dawdle.
866
01:14:22,542 --> 01:14:24,836
Hmm.
867
01:14:28,339 --> 01:14:31,092
-What are you doing?
-I'm relaxing.
868
01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:33,469
Taking a little sun.
869
01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:35,263
Have you gone mad?
870
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,098
Au contraire.
871
01:14:45,106 --> 01:14:46,899
Wednesday!
872
01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:51,696
Wednesday!
873
01:14:54,073 --> 01:14:55,408
Wednesday!
874
01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:58,369
Wednesday!
875
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:39,410
-What is all this?
-This is a restraining order.
876
01:15:39,494 --> 01:15:41,078
-A restraining order?
-Yes.
877
01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:46,167
It requires you to keep a distance
of 1,000 yards from this house.
878
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,669
I am restrained from my own house?
879
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:51,380
Not your house,
mustache. Not anymore.
880
01:15:51,464 --> 01:15:54,091
It belongs to the oldest
living descendant,
881
01:15:54,175 --> 01:15:57,762
the elder brother, Fester Addams.
882
01:15:57,845 --> 01:16:00,765
-Fester adores Gomez.
-No, no, he's afraid of him.
883
01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:04,060
Seeing the twins brought it all
back. You're bitter rivals, Gomez.
884
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:07,688
-I demand to speak with Fester.
-Sorry. No can do.
885
01:16:08,356 --> 01:16:11,067
He's very hurt. Just leave.
886
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:15,571
But he isn't even Uncle Fester.
887
01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:22,912
Have no fear. Justice shall prevail.
888
01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:24,831
The courts will decide.
889
01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:29,335
They say a man who represents
himself has a fool for a client.
890
01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:31,546
Well, with God as my witness,
891
01:16:31,629 --> 01:16:33,923
I am that fool!
892
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:38,803
Therefore, it is with no small
amount of personal satisfaction
893
01:16:39,554 --> 01:16:44,100
that I declare Fester Addams
legal executor of the Addams estate
894
01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:47,436
and rightful owner of all possessions
895
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,772
and properties contained therein,
896
01:16:49,856 --> 01:16:51,566
with one exception.
897
01:16:51,649 --> 01:16:53,985
Gomez Addams,
898
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:58,197
I believe these are yours.
899
01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:40,341
-You are doing this on purpose.
-That's right, Mother. Isn't this fun?
900
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:41,717
I'll race you back.
901
01:18:44,178 --> 01:18:46,514
Yes, we've
been forced from our home.
902
01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:50,101
Yes, we've been betrayed
by those we trusted.
903
01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:54,605
But we are Addamses,
and we will not submit.
904
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,943
Who recalls the fable of
the tortoise and the hare?
905
01:18:59,694 --> 01:19:02,989
The swift yet lazy little cottontail
906
01:19:03,072 --> 01:19:05,491
and his slow but determined companion?
907
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:08,035
What does this story teach us?
908
01:19:08,119 --> 01:19:10,705
Kill the hare! Skin it. Boil it.
909
01:19:10,788 --> 01:19:13,916
-Put the tortoise on the highway.
-During rush hour.
910
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,877
Yes. We will survive.
911
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:21,465
Poison us. Strangle us. Break our bones.
912
01:19:21,549 --> 01:19:23,134
We will come back for more.
913
01:19:23,926 --> 01:19:25,678
And why?
914
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:27,304
Because we like it.
915
01:19:27,388 --> 01:19:29,306
Because we're Addamses.
916
01:19:29,390 --> 01:19:30,808
We're Addamses.
917
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:41,694
Here, Lurch. On the house.
918
01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:02,256
We have so many homemakers
reentering the workforce.
919
01:20:02,339 --> 01:20:04,300
Your domestic skills
can be very valuable.
920
01:20:05,051 --> 01:20:08,054
-College?
-Private tutors.
921
01:20:09,055 --> 01:20:10,973
-Major?
-Spells and hexes.
922
01:20:12,391 --> 01:20:13,601
Liberal Arts.
923
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:18,314
What about your husband?
Is he currently employed?
924
01:20:19,273 --> 01:20:21,317
He's going through a
bad patch at the moment,
925
01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:23,694
but it's not his fault.
926
01:20:23,778 --> 01:20:25,446
Of course not.
927
01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:29,116
What is he, a
loafer? A hopeless layabout?
928
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:30,701
A shiftless dreamer?
929
01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:34,497
Not anymore.
930
01:20:40,461 --> 01:20:43,923
-Is this made from real lemons?
-Yes.
931
01:20:44,006 --> 01:20:46,467
I only like all-natural
fruits and beverages
932
01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:49,678
organically grown with no preservatives.
933
01:20:49,762 --> 01:20:53,057
-Are you sure they're real lemons?
-Yes.
934
01:20:53,140 --> 01:20:55,142
Well, I'll tell you what.
935
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:56,435
I'll buy a cup
936
01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:59,772
if you buy a box of my
delicious Girl Scout cookies.
937
01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,357
Do we have a deal?
938
01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:03,275
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
939
01:21:16,080 --> 01:21:18,624
And so, the witch
lured Hansel and Gretel
940
01:21:18,707 --> 01:21:22,545
into the candy house by
promising them more sweets.
941
01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:24,964
And she told them to look in the oven.
942
01:21:25,047 --> 01:21:29,093
And she was about to push
them in when, lo and behold,
943
01:21:29,176 --> 01:21:32,388
Hansel pushed the poor, defenseless witch
944
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:34,014
into the oven instead,
945
01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:35,724
where she was burned alive,
946
01:21:36,350 --> 01:21:37,852
writhing in agony.
947
01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:45,860
Now, boys and girls, what
do you think that feels like?
948
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:13,804
Ooh!
949
01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:41,290
Welcome fo the show.
950
01:22:41,373 --> 01:22:43,375
Voodoo witch doctors
here in the United States.
951
01:22:43,459 --> 01:22:44,668
Here, kitty, Kitty.
952
01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:48,839
Do they really exist or
is this just tabloid hooey?
953
01:22:48,923 --> 01:22:50,883
Wed love you to call
in with your comments.
954
01:22:53,677 --> 01:22:55,304
After lunch, we'll try again.
955
01:22:57,181 --> 01:22:58,182
Yes, Mother.
956
01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:04,688
We'll find the money.
957
01:23:05,564 --> 01:23:08,692
Meanwhile, we have this
little nest, quiet and cozy
958
01:23:08,776 --> 01:23:11,278
without that dreadful family.
959
01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:13,948
Yes, Mother.
960
01:23:14,698 --> 01:23:17,701
So you claim that your
son was brainwashed
961
01:23:17,785 --> 01:23:21,914
by voodoo witch doctors
and forced to recruit others.
962
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:22,998
Let's take a call.
963
01:23:23,082 --> 01:23:24,541
Hello, Sally.
964
01:23:24,625 --> 01:23:27,962
Mr. Addams, please stop calling.
965
01:23:28,045 --> 01:23:29,922
We do not know where they meet.
966
01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:31,173
Let's take another call.
967
01:23:33,676 --> 01:23:36,887
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive?
968
01:23:36,971 --> 01:23:39,223
-The whole family.
-A drive?
969
01:23:40,099 --> 01:23:41,558
And miss Gilligan?
970
01:23:41,642 --> 01:23:43,185
Dinner's gonna be late.
971
01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:46,772
Here, boy. Here, boy.
972
01:23:54,196 --> 01:23:55,281
Gordon.
973
01:23:56,573 --> 01:23:57,658
Gordon!
974
01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:07,478
I would like to speak
with Fester, please.
975
01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:20,908
You're a desperate woman
consumed by greed and bitterness.
976
01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:24,828
-We could have been such friends.
-Gordon, let's get started.
977
01:25:24,912 --> 01:25:26,497
-But, Mother.
-Stop stalling.
978
01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:29,041
I'm not stalling. Stop badgering me.
979
01:25:31,585 --> 01:25:34,922
The vault,
Mrs. Addams. Any thoughts?
980
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:37,800
-None whatsoever.
-Tully, take over. Tighten it.
981
01:25:37,883 --> 01:25:39,760
But I got this stomach
thing when I torture people.
982
01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:41,011
Do it.
983
01:25:44,223 --> 01:25:45,265
Again.
984
01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:55,359
Tighter.
985
01:25:59,947 --> 01:26:01,323
You've done this before.
986
01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:52,416
Who is it? We're paid through Thursday.
987
01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:55,544
Mor... Morticia.
988
01:26:55,627 --> 01:26:56,628
Morticia.
989
01:26:57,963 --> 01:26:59,673
Morticia what?
990
01:26:59,756 --> 01:27:00,924
Slow down!
991
01:27:01,008 --> 01:27:02,384
It's terrible when you stutter.
992
01:27:16,273 --> 01:27:20,777
Morticia in danger.
993
01:27:20,861 --> 01:27:22,196
Stop.
994
01:27:22,279 --> 01:27:26,366
Send help at once. Stop!
995
01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:31,705
You can't! Not with red-hot pokers!
996
01:27:32,372 --> 01:27:33,624
Is this gonna smell?
997
01:27:33,707 --> 01:27:34,833
Tully Alford,
998
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:39,004
charlatan, deadbeat, parasite.
999
01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:41,590
How Gomez adored you.
1000
01:27:41,673 --> 01:27:44,051
Well, not enough.
1001
01:27:45,177 --> 01:27:48,013
Morticia, please.
1002
01:27:48,597 --> 01:27:52,351
And dear Fester, which is the real you?
1003
01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:56,522
The loathsome, underhanded
monster you've become
1004
01:27:56,605 --> 01:28:00,234
or the loathsome, underhanded
monster we came to love?
1005
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:01,610
Don't ask me.
1006
01:28:18,835 --> 01:28:21,630
I know what you're feeling, Fester.
1007
01:28:21,713 --> 01:28:22,798
Gordon!
1008
01:28:24,508 --> 01:28:27,719
Gordon, I have a thought.
Just a notion, top of my head.
1009
01:28:27,803 --> 01:28:29,263
Tell me what you think?
1010
01:28:29,888 --> 01:28:33,475
Since you and Mrs.
Addams are so very close...
1011
01:28:35,227 --> 01:28:36,270
be my guest.
1012
01:28:39,565 --> 01:28:40,857
Addams!
1013
01:28:40,941 --> 01:28:42,609
-Cara mia!
-Morn cher!
1014
01:28:42,693 --> 01:28:44,945
Darling, take care.
1015
01:28:45,904 --> 01:28:48,574
Dirty pool, old man. Never again!
1016
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:01,420
One for you, Tully.
1017
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:03,714
And now...
1018
01:29:13,765 --> 01:29:15,225
One for me.
1019
01:29:15,309 --> 01:29:18,103
-Gomez, I'm on retainer.
-Let him up.
1020
01:29:28,196 --> 01:29:30,824
That's right. Now get moving, Addams.
1021
01:29:34,453 --> 01:29:35,621
Take him to the vault,
1022
01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:39,124
and if you're not back in one hour...
1023
01:29:40,584 --> 01:29:42,669
I displace her.
1024
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:49,593
Tish, seeing you like this,
1025
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:51,428
my blood boils.
1026
01:29:51,511 --> 01:29:52,846
As does mine.
1027
01:29:54,097 --> 01:29:56,767
-This wheel of pain.
-Our wheel.
1028
01:29:57,476 --> 01:30:00,896
To live without you,
only that would be torture.
1029
01:30:00,979 --> 01:30:04,608
A day alone, only that would be death.
1030
01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,278
Knock it off.
1031
01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,115
The vault, Addams, right now.
1032
01:30:21,583 --> 01:30:24,961
-But, Mother, can't we...
-Can it, Gordon.
1033
01:30:25,045 --> 01:30:28,340
Stop dragging your feet. You disgust me!
1034
01:30:29,383 --> 01:30:31,885
You're nothing but a
useless, sniveling baby.
1035
01:30:31,968 --> 01:30:33,428
A stone around my neck.
1036
01:30:34,179 --> 01:30:37,808
What was I thinking? I should
have left you where I found you.
1037
01:30:39,226 --> 01:30:41,645
No tricks, Gomez!
1038
01:30:42,854 --> 01:30:44,731
That's the wrong book.
1039
01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:54,991
Allow me.
1040
01:30:58,578 --> 01:30:59,913
Good show, old man.
1041
01:31:02,749 --> 01:31:06,378
Put that book down, Gordon.
You don't know what it can do.
1042
01:31:07,212 --> 01:31:10,549
-It's not just literature.
-Oh, really?
1043
01:31:12,509 --> 01:31:13,802
Quickly, darling.
1044
01:31:13,885 --> 01:31:15,387
Gordon, I'm your friend.
1045
01:31:16,221 --> 01:31:20,016
-Think of the doubloons.
-They're not yours, Tully.
1046
01:31:20,642 --> 01:31:21,643
Back off!
1047
01:31:21,727 --> 01:31:25,439
Leather straps. Red-hot pokers.
1048
01:31:25,522 --> 01:31:26,732
Later, my dearest.
1049
01:31:26,815 --> 01:31:29,860
Keep the book closed,
Gordon. Listen to Mother.
1050
01:31:29,943 --> 01:31:33,989
I'll never listen to
you, never ever again.
1051
01:31:34,072 --> 01:31:37,159
I had to be strict with you
because I cared. Put it down!
1052
01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:39,703
You never really loved me.
1053
01:31:40,370 --> 01:31:41,496
Fester, this way!
1054
01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:44,666
Stop whining, you little
good-for-nothing. Be a man!
1055
01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:48,211
You were a terrible mother!
1056
01:31:48,754 --> 01:31:51,339
There! I said it.
1057
01:32:00,182 --> 01:32:01,224
Aah!
1058
01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:43,475
Are they dead?
1059
01:32:44,351 --> 01:32:45,477
Does it matter?
1060
01:33:03,870 --> 01:33:05,372
Trick or--
1061
01:33:10,752 --> 01:33:11,962
Here we come!
1062
01:33:12,546 --> 01:33:14,881
-Pugsley, old man.
-Why, look at you.
1063
01:33:19,678 --> 01:33:20,720
How do you like it?
1064
01:33:22,889 --> 01:33:26,101
What can I say? He's gonna break hearts.
1065
01:33:26,184 --> 01:33:27,269
Trick or treat.
1066
01:33:29,813 --> 01:33:32,190
Hello, Margaret. Cousin It.
1067
01:33:32,274 --> 01:33:36,069
-I almost didn't recognize you.
-Isn't he handsome?
1068
01:33:36,152 --> 01:33:39,322
Everyone keeps asking
where he bought his costume.
1069
01:33:39,406 --> 01:33:40,532
It is a wonderful hat.
1070
01:33:42,284 --> 01:33:44,953
What are you, darling?
Where's your costume?
1071
01:33:45,537 --> 01:33:47,873
This is my costume.
I'm a homicidal maniac.
1072
01:33:47,956 --> 01:33:49,499
They look just like everyone else.
1073
01:33:54,838 --> 01:33:57,924
I'm so glad I can
spend this night with my family,
1074
01:33:58,550 --> 01:34:00,427
now that I've got my memory back.
1075
01:34:00,510 --> 01:34:05,015
Thank God for that lightning.
Knocked some sense into you.
1076
01:34:07,934 --> 01:34:09,603
You remember, old man.
1077
01:34:09,686 --> 01:34:14,608
Dr. Pinder-Schloss really did find
Fester tangled in a tuna net 25 years ago,
1078
01:34:15,233 --> 01:34:16,735
with amnesia.
1079
01:34:16,818 --> 01:34:18,653
From the Bermuda Triangle.
1080
01:34:22,365 --> 01:34:25,035
How true. Stranger things have happened.
1081
01:34:25,118 --> 01:34:26,870
Please, Uncle Fester.
1082
01:34:27,913 --> 01:34:30,165
-Pugsley.
-For the picture.
1083
01:34:37,380 --> 01:34:40,926
All right,
everybody, time for a game.
1084
01:34:41,009 --> 01:34:43,929
What shall it be? Bobbing for apples?
1085
01:34:44,012 --> 01:34:45,138
Charades?
1086
01:34:46,681 --> 01:34:48,683
Of course. Wake the dead.
1087
01:34:48,767 --> 01:34:50,435
Wake the dead!
1088
01:34:50,518 --> 01:34:52,479
Wake the dead!
1089
01:34:53,146 --> 01:34:55,148
Out to the cemetery. Come on, everyone.
1090
01:34:55,231 --> 01:34:56,942
I've never played this before.
1091
01:34:57,025 --> 01:34:59,277
-How does it go?
-Did you bring a shovel?
1092
01:34:59,361 --> 01:35:02,280
-Uncle Fester, will you be on my team?
-No, mine.
1093
01:35:02,364 --> 01:35:04,199
I tell you what. we'll
give you a head start.
1094
01:35:04,282 --> 01:35:06,326
Three skulls and a pelvis. How is that?
1095
01:35:10,163 --> 01:35:12,374
My own dear brother.
1096
01:35:22,384 --> 01:35:24,803
-Come on.
-We'll catch up.
1097
01:35:28,390 --> 01:35:31,142
Wake the dead! Wake the dead!
1098
01:35:32,352 --> 01:35:33,895
Uncle Atlas, wake up.
1099
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:37,857
Come on,
Aunt LaBorgia, wake up.
1100
01:35:37,941 --> 01:35:39,359
No, no, no, children.
1101
01:35:39,442 --> 01:35:42,904
You have to dig. That's half the fun.
1102
01:35:54,082 --> 01:35:56,584
Oh, Tish, what more could we ask?
1103
01:35:59,129 --> 01:36:00,422
Gomez.
1104
01:36:06,428 --> 01:36:09,556
Cara mia, is it true?
1105
01:36:10,390 --> 01:36:13,268
Oui, mon amour.
1106
01:36:24,529 --> 01:36:26,781
Wake up, Grandpa
Addams. It's Halloween.
1107
01:36:26,865 --> 01:36:29,534
Children,
look! Great-Aunt Lavinia!
1108
01:36:29,617 --> 01:36:32,162
She was beheaded by her own children!
1109
01:36:32,245 --> 01:36:33,621
Yay!
71809
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