All language subtitles for The Se x Lives of College Girls S01E04 Kappa 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-dB (1)_track3_[eng]

LEIGHTON MURRAY

Did you just get a mysterious envelope

and casually toss it aside
without even opening it?

-Fuck, you're cool.
-Okay, I already know what's inside.

It's my invite to Kappa's pre-rush brunch
later this afternoon.

How can you be sure?

Because as a future Kappa,
I know how Kappas think.

And I also might have heard
two girls in my Lit seminar

talking about the envelope color
Mykonos sky blue.

Interesting. I think of it as more
of a Sonic the Hedgehog blue.

Wait. Kappa invited you too?

Sure did. Got it last night.
What? Are you surprised?

Of course I'm surprised.
You wear sneakers with dresses.

Leighton, I'm gonna tell you
what I told Whitney.

That sororities have a long history
of exclusionary behavior

that promote this kind
of woman-on-woman warfare,

and that's why I will be abstaining
from Greek life.

Yeah. Absolutely. Preach.
I'm totally on the same page.

Did you get an envelope?

-No, I did not.
-Me neither.

THE SEX LIVES OF
COLLEGE GIRLS

Hey, can I give you some unsolicited
feedback on what you're wearing?

Oh, my God. Of course.
I love when people do that.

It's just Kappa is the most exclusive
sorority on campus.

And this rush brunch is your first
opportunity to show them that you fit in.

Okay. So what's wrong with
what I'm wearing? It's jeans and sneakers.

And that is such a cute outfit for, like,
grocery shopping.

I'm just saying that there's still time
to run home and change.

Oh, my God. Maybe you should change.

I look good. You look
like a perfume lady at Bloomingdales.

That is the meanest thing
you could have said to me.

I just-- I think you're overthinking it.
The invite said to dress casual.

This is what Kappa means by casual.

Yeah. This is some
Get Out shit right here.

Hey, Mr. G, I think you need to chugga,
chugga, chugga, chugga, chill out.

So funny, right?

I love that catchphrase.
"Chugga, chugga, chill out."

No. The sketch is about
how catchphrases are lame.

Who would actually laugh at someone
saying "Chugga, chugga, chill out"?

Forget it. Look, this guy, Danny Marawitz,
he's a comedy legend.

He's also a Catullan alum and he's
gonna be at this big alumni dinner

they're throwing tonight. I wanna chat
him up and convince him to be my mentor.

Bela, I'm sure he'd love
to be your mentor.

You're the funniest person I know.
It's like I live with Bugs Bunny.

I know you mean that as a compliment,
so thank you.

Hey, wait. Actually, do you
wanna come with me as my plus-one?

-Yeah, I'd love to.
-Okay. Cool.

So, if people like
this Danny guy are going,

it's probably gonna be
pretty fancy, right?

-Fancy as shit.
-So, like, pantyhose fancy?

Kimberly, nothing is ever pantyhose fancy.

Okay. Well, I only brought
one dress with me to college.

I'm sure it's fine. Is it black?

It's mustard.

Maybe we just go shopping.

Okay. Fresh rosemary sprig in my drink?
I can get on board with this.

See? Kappa's living up to the hype.
Do you see that blond girl?

There's, like, 15 blond girls over there.

First off, half of them are bronde.

No, I'm talking about that one
right there, Quinn Cannon.

She went to Spence.

She was, like, three years above me
and now she is president of Kappa

and queen of
the entire Essex social scene.

Quinn Cannon is exactly
who I wanna be in three years.

Okay. I am gonna go mingle.
Are you good on your own?

-I most definitely am not.
-Hey, you'll be fine. All right?

I can text you details about who
you're talking to if you need.

I've done extensive research
on every single girl here.

And if you need any help,
just start talking about celery juice.

Hey, you're Maura, right?

Yeah. You must be Nico's sister, Leighton.
How are you liking Essex?

I've been busy balancing schoolwork
and extracurriculars,

and finding ways to apply the knowledge
I gained last summer

while interning
for Dahlia Lithwick at Slate.

I feel like I'm interviewing you
for a job. Did you rehearse this?

No.

Wait. Your name is Ashley too?
I just met an Ashley.

Yeah, but I spell it A-S-H-L-E-E.
I know. What were my parents smoking?

Allie VanLandingham. You were
the senior social chair at Choate, right?

Yeah. How did you know that?

There's only three Choate Kappas.
You, Madison and Sheridan.

-It's all on the website.
-Stalker much?

It's public information.

Yeah, but I spell it A-S-H-L-E-I-G-H.

A-S-H-L-E-Y-E.

I spell it A-S-H-L-I-E.

-Do you like celery juice?
-I have it every single morning.

Oh, my God.

Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are,
we wear the sacred letters, KBR.

Go, Kappa Beta Rho.

Oh, my God. There's such
good stuff in the Kappa hashtag.

Would it be crazy if we made one together?

-Hey, sorry. I gotta go.
-Yeah. No. Of course. I'll see you later.

Your sneakers are so cool.

And you actually play a varsity sport.
That's so impressive.

Whitney, what's your phone number?
We wanna add you to our Kappa memes chain.

This has been so great,
but I have a team bus to catch.

It was nice meeting you,

and I look forward to seeing you all
on Selling Sunset one day.

She's so cool.

GAIA'S
BOUTIQUE

This one's so pretty.

This looks like something Shania Twain
would wear.

Kimberly, no.
Please let me fix you. I'm trying so hard.

Okay.

So, have you met up with hot-ass Nico
for any more French lessons yet?

No. Not since he bailed on me last time.
I'm not sure it'll be an ongoing thing.

-But did you text him?
-It's fine. I don't wanna bother him.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is the dress.
Fire emoji.

Head exploding emoji. Tongue hanging
out emoji. You gotta try this one on.

This is beautiful. It's way too expensive.

Kimberly, if you don't wrap
your beautiful body in this dress,

it'll be a slap in the face
of hot feminists everywhere.

I can't afford this.

This will use up way too much
of my for-emergencies-only credit card.

So just leave the tags on
and return it tomorrow.

-Hey. Come over here.
-Hey.

Oh, my God.

I am so excited
to get out of town with you.

Me too. I kind of love hotels.

That's so cute. But you're not gonna
like this one. It's pretty gross.

Well, I'm sure you'll like it more than
crashing on your couch for another night.

It's gotta be so weird for you
being around Michelle

since you told her you're leaving her.

Let's not think about that right now.

Let's just think about all the hot
hotel sex we're gonna be having tonight.

Okay. Bus is starting. We gotta go.
And hide your boner. Damn, bro.

Wait. Let me carry
your bag in front of it.

Just tuck it up behind your belt.

Right.

All right, everybody.
Let's get on the bus.

Leighton Murray. Were you leaving
without even saying hi to me?

Yeah. Sorry. I just--
Well, I knew you were really busy

and I wasn't really vibing
with the others girls, so...

Yeah, I saw. Look, everyone here
is equally obsessed with Kappa.

They're just better at hiding it.
Let's go inside and get a drink.

So you might major in math?

-I know it's lame.
-No, it's refreshing.

If I had to talk to another fucking
marketing major,

I was gonna rip my ears off.

-Hey, do you know Cory in Theta?
-Yeah. Nico got COVID from him. Why?

Well, according to my boyfriend,
he has a huge crush on you.

-Yes, I have heard that.
-Would you be into him?

Yeah. No. 100%. He's so cute.

I knew it. I'm texting him
right now that you like him.

What's up?

Once we get to the hotel, you're gonna
wanna eat some crackers or something,

'cause the team is going out hard tonight.

But don't we have a game tomorrow?

It's fine.
The team we're playing is awful.

I'm telling you, tonight's the best
team-bonding night of the year.

You're gonna love it.

All right, ladies. I need to speak
with you, so all eyes on me.

Way ahead of you, handsome.

Coach Woods and I know that there was

a lot of sneaking out last year
after curfew,

and I just want to make it clear that
that's not gonna happen again, okay?

-I have a question.
-Okay. What is it?

-How'd you get so fine?
-Okay, I get it.

There's some weird jokes among you girls
that I'm, like, attractive or whatever,

but I am your coach
and I deserve respect, okay?

-All right. So when we get to the hotel--
-Take your shirt off.

No, I'm not gonna take my shirt off,
and you can't talk to me like that, okay?

Okay, Daddy.

No. Do not call me Daddy.
I'm not your sexy daddy.

-Put me to bed, Daddy.
-Come on.

Oh, man. So many Catullan alums showed up.

Oh, my gosh.
There's a helium balloon arch.

-I've always wanted to walk under one.
-Me too.

-Can you take a picture of me with it?
-Yeah, sure.

Yes, girl. Yes. So hot.
Oh, my God. You look so fucking hot.

Hey. So that's Ryan, the nice editor,
and that's Eric, the mean editor.

And that's Peter Cook, class of '84.

He wrote, like, all of Greg's funny lines
on Dharma & Greg,

just in case you talk to him
and that comes up.

He's good at Greg. Got it. Hey, isn't
that the "chugga, chugga" guy?

Yeah.

Hey, do you mind mingling
with the other plus-ones for a bit?

I'm gonna go talk to him and I don't want
you watching as I make love to his ego.

Of course. Don't worry about me.
I'm gonna hobnob like it's my hob-job.

-Yeah, please don't.
-I won't try to be funny.

I'll just, like, talk to old ladies
about recent Jeopardy episodes.

Perfect. Okay.

Thank you.

Lila. Canaan. Hey, how are you guys?

Kimberly?

How cool is this?
Have you guys seen the seafood tower?

It has three tiers.

Wait. So you're a guest here?
And we're, like, serving you?

Yeah, that's weird.

No, no. I'm barely a guest.
I'm my roommate's plus-one.

And I'm just here on a technicality.
Those look good.

Would you like one of my coconut shrimp?

I'm good. I just had something.

And do you want to put
your little stick on my trash tray?

No. I'm gonna hold onto it for a bit.

No, no. Take a lap.

Excuse me. You're Danny Marawitz, right?
I'm Bela Malhotra.

-I'm a Catullan hopeful.
-I'm jealous.

I'm just here admiring pictures of myself
without a receding hairline.

Well, if it's more hair you want,
I waxed my arms this morning.

So there's basically
an Elvis wig in my garbage can.

I'm sorry. That was gross.
I'm just nervous to talk to you.

That's really funny.
What's your name again?

-Bela Malhotra.
-Well, good luck, Bela.

Gentlemen, don't hit me up for money.

Leighton?

-Did you buy a chair?
-Yes.

If I'm gonna be here for 100 hours,

I'm not spending them on a couch
that's older than I am.

Oh, my God. You know, you can't--

And before you jump on my dick,

my shift is over in ten minutes,
and I've done a bunch of work.

I restocked the tampons in the bathroom.
I restocked the tampons in the couch room.

And I even gave a girl a pamphlet
on the prison industrial complex.

Hey, if you want to shave off some hours,
I could really use your help tonight.

It's a panel on the ABCs of the LGBTs.
You'll hate it.

Yeah, I can't. I have a-- I have a thing.

-A date?
-Yes.

This'll be so much fun.
Okay, let me guess your type.

His name? Gareth.
His dad? The Monopoly man.

And his hobbies, they include sailing
and benefiting from generational wealth.

You forgot belittling waiters,
but yes, otherwise, that's about right.

Well, that sounds like
my personal nightmare.

-Condoms on your way out if you want them.
-Yeah. No, thank you.

-I do not hook up on the first date.
-Whatever you say.

-Hey.
-Hey.

I know I was being weird before,
but that was because of something else.

-And I'd love a Sprite, please.
-Okay. Sure. One Sprite.

-What are you doing?
-Sorry. Is that not enough?

What the hell is wrong with you?
It's a Sprite.

-I'm sorry. I don't know what to do.
-Don't worry about it.

Keep your money.
No one else here is tipping anyway, so...

Hold on. I have an idea.

A bartender on full scholarship
and he makes a mean martini.

Here is a 20.

What the hell?

When people know
we're on financial aid, they tip more.

Okay, I get that you're trying to help,
but there's no way that's gonna work, so--

I'll take a martini.

Coming right up.

And Kappa's basically
Theta's, like, sister sorority, so...

You know, it would be great
if Nico and me--

-Yeah.
-I'm sorry. Am I boring you?

Hey, I got to ask you. What is this?

What do you mean?

When I saw you this summer and then
with your brother a couple weeks ago,

you know, you kind of seemed into me
and then I don't know.

Whenever I try to hit you up,
you ghost me,

and then all of a sudden
you want to go to dinner.

Something just kind of seems off with you.

I just got to school, like, a month ago.

I'm sorry I don't hit you up
to dry-hump me every night.

-That's not what I meant at all.
-No, no, no. I know. I'm sorry.

I just-- I'm sorry.

Look, Cory, I really like you.

Do you, Leight?
Because sometimes I think--

Shall we go back to your place?
I could talk about Kappa some more.

I would love that.

It was great chatting with you too.

-You as well.
-Thank you.

It was my pleasure.

Dude.
I'm networking my hot little ass off.

Excuse me.
Can I have your attention, please?

That's Danny. I am gonna get
in his eye line and laugh really hard.

-My time at the Catullan changed my life.
-Excuse me.

And I've spent the last 20 years
trying to change it back.

But seriously, there is no better place
to launch a comedy career.

With the skills you've learned here
and the connections you'll make,

soon you'll be working in writers' rooms
with other funny guys

and their marginally funny girlfriends
they've hired through nepotism.

But jokes aside, I think it's great
that there are some female writers now.

Like this girl right here.

I had the chance to chat with her earlier,

and I honestly think that people like her
are the future of comedy.

A young Indian woman?

Soon she'll be the only one of us
who can sell a television show.

Let me guess. About a quirky ethnic woman

trying to balance her love life
and her career. Yeah, that's compelling.

EASTERN PINE INN

Do you want some?

Wait. Wait. Wait. You need more. Go, go.

Okay, where are we going?

A mini-golf course that shares
a parking lot with McDonald's.

God damn, that sounds amazing.

TROPICAL SANDS MINI GOLF

Okay. Thank you.

-Hump that dino.
-Go, babe.

-Yes.
-Yeah, I got it.

This is 1,000% going on my Tinder profile.

Okay. Okay. All right.

-Thank you.
-What was that?

What? Nothing.

Shit. You're hooking up with Coach Dalton.

He may have hilarious catchphrases,
but that guy was such a jerk.

I really hated everything he said.

Hey, thanks for being a good sport.
Anything for the laugh, right?

You're an asshole.

Easy, honey. Don't get upset.
I promise you. It's not a good look.

I used to look up to you,
but now I don't even remember why.

You haven't worked in, like, ten years.

And you know why?
Because you're not funny anymore.

You're, like, toxic podcast funny at best.

So chugga, chugga, chugga,
chugga, eat shit.

-You can forget about my donation check.
-Wait. What do you-- Wait.

Hey, Danny, wait. I think it's crazy
you haven't worked in ten years.

You don't need his money anyway, right?

I have so many questions.
When did this start?

Is he as good at sex as he looks?

And, bitch, are you crazy?
Answer the sex one first.

I know. I know it's insane. Okay?
But I can't help myself.

-I think I, like, love him.
-You love him?

Willow, please keep your voice down.
Okay? No one can find out.

This whole team is full of secrets,
and I never share them.

-Last spring, Jena ran over a dog.
-You just shared one.

Willow, please.
Okay, this could ruin Dalton's career.

And with my mom being a senator,
it would be this whole big thing.

-Okay? You really can't say anything.
-Say anything about what?

Hey, Jena. Willow and I
are actually in the middle

of an important private conversation.

-About what?
-About news and current events.

-What the fuck do you care? Go ahead--
-Okay, chill. Jeez.

Can we just get out of here?

Can we stop at the McDonald's
on the way home?

-Yes.
-All right.

Well, they're definitely fucking.

-You down?
-Yeah, I'm down.

Bela, I really think you overreacted.
Danny can't be sexist.

He only hires female assistants.

She's right. I told him my name
and he said he'd just call me Ali Wong.

He's rude, and I'm glad
Bela said something.

It'll be okay.

-Maybe we should just go.
-I'll go get our coats.

Bela, right? The roast master herself.

Yeah. Now might not be the time.

I overheard what you said to Danny.
And I want to thank you.

Danny Marawitz is
and always has been a total shit.

He and I were tapped in the same year,

and his favorite "joke"
was to call me gay.

And I am gay. So that sucked.

He made the Catullan a living hell
for everyone on staff for four years.

But until tonight, I've never
seen anyone go back at him.

I'd be happy to write a check
to replace his donation.

He said he was donating 20 grand.

I'd be happy to write a check
to replace half his donation.

Thank you so much.

Thanks.

Hey, Kimberly.
We wanted to give this to you.

It's all of your fake tips and then a cut
of everything else that we made.

-What? No, I can't take that.
-We thought it was only fair.

He was reluctant at first,
but I convinced him.

-It was definitely the other way around.
-That's a lie. An impossible-to-prove lie.

-It's really nice of you guys, but--
-Oh, my God. Just take it.

It's, like, a real small percentage
of what we made.

Very small.

We wouldn't have made
anything without your help.

-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

-Yes. Of course.
-No, no.

-That's not how his works.
-Help does not tip help.

Willow, you swear you won't tell anyone--

Whitney, I know this may be tough
for you to believe,

given all the men's hoodies I wear,
but I was closeted once.

-I can keep a secret.
-Okay.

Now, go have gross
straight sex with our coach,

and do not wake me up when you get back.

-Good night.
-Hey. You're a good friend.

Drink water.

-Hey.
-I'm so sorry I'm late.

I feel terrible. We had plans.
And I just lost track of time.

It's all good.

Tonight I get to fall sleep
next to you for the first time.

But don't fall asleep yet.

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a new comment from Nico

nico-murray212 - That dress tho.

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