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1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:03,188
Mary: Sports day today!
You better fuel up, huh?
2
00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:04,437
Adult mark: Sports day.
3
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,273
The worst day of
the year for a wimp.
4
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:08,002
An all-day gym class.
5
00:00:08,027 --> 00:00:10,596
I can't eat. The thought
of the whole school.
6
00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:12,399
Seeing me collapse
in a potato sack.
7
00:00:12,423 --> 00:00:14,155
Is giving my butterflies
caterpillars.
8
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,402
Oh... Now, don't ya worry, mark.
9
00:00:16,427 --> 00:00:19,429
We don't expect you to win a
bunch of ribbons. Like your brother.
10
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:22,697
We know you're not gonna
win anything. Just have fun.
11
00:00:22,726 --> 00:00:24,442
Adult mark: Such
confidence in me.
12
00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:25,289
Hmm.
13
00:00:25,314 --> 00:00:27,547
Adult mark: I was not
athletic but, in fairness,
14
00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:29,170
I didn't have the best teachers.
15
00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:30,583
- No shame in losing, son.
- [kettle whistles]
16
00:00:30,608 --> 00:00:33,029
- Pop: Kettle's boiled.
- I got it.
17
00:00:33,054 --> 00:00:34,629
Mike, luv, I'm sorry,
18
00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:36,489
But I can't give you a
driving lesson today.
19
00:00:36,513 --> 00:00:38,755
- What? Why?
- [sighs] your father and I.
20
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:41,080
Agreed to volunteer
for sports day.
21
00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:43,016
- What?
- My driving test is on Monday!
22
00:00:43,041 --> 00:00:44,638
I have no idea how
to parallel park!
23
00:00:44,663 --> 00:00:46,295
Somebody has gotta take me!
24
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,177
- Uh, I'll take you.
- Oh no, that's you won't.
25
00:00:50,202 --> 00:00:53,039
- You don't have a licence!
- I drive all the time.
26
00:00:53,063 --> 00:00:54,641
You haven't driven
since confederation.
27
00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:56,842
Driving a car's
like ridin' a bike!
28
00:00:56,866 --> 00:00:59,779
Uh, no offense, pop, but...
29
00:00:59,804 --> 00:01:01,402
I think you're too old to drive.
30
00:01:01,472 --> 00:01:03,512
Mary: Oh, sweet Jesus, no.
[kettle clangs lightly]
31
00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:08,365
Oh, too old, am I?
32
00:01:09,341 --> 00:01:11,524
Well, you might be
surprised to know.
33
00:01:11,548 --> 00:01:15,728
That I'm still spry enough to
turn the... Whatchamacallit.
34
00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:19,138
The... You know, the round
thing with the barmy part.
35
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,928
- The steering wheel?
- Yes!
36
00:01:20,953 --> 00:01:23,255
That's exactly what it is!
37
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,659
Steering wheel, yeah.
Well, that was a test,
38
00:01:26,684 --> 00:01:29,849
And you, young man,
are ready for a lesson.
39
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:32,343
Mike sr.: [mouthing]
no, you can't go.
40
00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:34,052
[fridge items rattle]
41
00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:36,416
You know what, pop? I don't
think I actually need to know.
42
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,302
How to park, so uh...
You're off the hook.
43
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:40,538
Dammit! I'm giving you a lesson!
44
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:42,927
I'm not too old to drive!
45
00:01:43,587 --> 00:01:45,020
[liquid pours]
46
00:01:45,045 --> 00:01:46,771
- Mary: Pop?
- What?!
47
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:48,551
That's orange juice.
48
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,965
Yeah. So?
49
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,780
That's what I want. Vitamin c.
50
00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:58,903
It's good for gout.
51
00:02:01,902 --> 00:02:03,635
[sips tea]
52
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:04,925
Hmm.
53
00:02:08,076 --> 00:02:11,263
Mmm, mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. Mmm!
54
00:02:12,179 --> 00:02:14,021
Mmm, mmm.
55
00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:17,073
[loud gulp, clears his throat]
56
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:21,045
Don't you laugh. I'll
see you in the car.
57
00:02:21,091 --> 00:02:22,862
Adult mark: I was
going to be humiliated.
58
00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:25,019
In front of the whole school,
but it could be worse.
59
00:02:25,055 --> 00:02:26,911
Pop: [coughing] Jesus christ!
60
00:02:26,936 --> 00:02:28,990
Adult mark: My brother
was about to die.
61
00:02:30,705 --> 00:02:32,505
[birds chirp]
62
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:34,930
Adult mark: All the parents
came out on sports day.
63
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,897
Many were excited
to see their kids,
64
00:02:36,934 --> 00:02:38,545
Who failed the rest of the year,
65
00:02:38,569 --> 00:02:41,224
Redeem themselves with ribbons.
66
00:02:41,249 --> 00:02:43,683
And then there were mine.
[car door slams shut]
67
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,681
Are you sure you
both have to come?
68
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:48,441
[sighs] we got stuck
volunteering, to be honest.
69
00:02:48,466 --> 00:02:51,690
Mrs. Perez is like a vampire.
Just 'cause she got bit,
70
00:02:51,715 --> 00:02:54,271
She's trying to damn as
many souls as she can.
71
00:02:54,296 --> 00:02:56,262
Mrs. Perez: [shouting]
did you bring any food?
72
00:02:57,599 --> 00:03:00,271
[whispers] I didn't
bring any food.
73
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,682
Fox: Mom? Mom?
74
00:03:04,707 --> 00:03:06,088
[low groan]
75
00:03:06,113 --> 00:03:07,612
Aren't you comin'?
76
00:03:07,998 --> 00:03:10,564
Oh, I can watch ya
from here, sure.
77
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,693
- Please?
- Ugh...
78
00:03:12,718 --> 00:03:14,830
All the other parents actually
got out of their cars.
79
00:03:14,855 --> 00:03:17,050
Oh, that's just what
I needs now, right?
80
00:03:17,074 --> 00:03:18,849
To be hangin' out with
the other parents.
81
00:03:18,874 --> 00:03:20,541
Mom, come on!
82
00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:21,965
I'm gonna break
the school record.
83
00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,483
I'm gonna get all
gold, I promise!
84
00:03:25,148 --> 00:03:27,399
- Woman: Sarah?!
- Please?
85
00:03:27,718 --> 00:03:30,685
- Woman: Sarah!
- Okay! I'm comin'!
86
00:03:31,116 --> 00:03:33,551
Sister margaret: All right
then. Uh... Mrs. Critch,
87
00:03:33,576 --> 00:03:36,477
I have you and mrs. Perez
at the refreshments station.
88
00:03:36,502 --> 00:03:38,547
Ooh... Exciting.
89
00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:41,017
Mr. Perez, I hear you
work at the hospital.
90
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:42,774
You'll run the first-aid tent.
91
00:03:42,799 --> 00:03:45,767
Oh no, no, I'm
just a technician.
92
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,776
I fix the machines, that's all.
93
00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:50,283
- Hmm. Modesty is a virtue.
- Uh, but...
94
00:03:50,308 --> 00:03:52,740
Mr. Critch, I'll
have you run the pa.
95
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:54,575
- How does that sound?
- Ha!
96
00:03:54,611 --> 00:03:57,411
Well, I'm more hard news
than sports, sister.
97
00:03:58,724 --> 00:04:00,524
Uh, yes, sister.
Thank you, sister.
98
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:02,327
Sorry, sister.
99
00:04:02,398 --> 00:04:04,030
[indistinct chatter]
100
00:04:05,154 --> 00:04:06,886
Surprised to see you.
101
00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:09,511
Thought for sure you'd get off
with so many health conditions.
102
00:04:09,554 --> 00:04:11,599
Enh. At least we're
in this together.
103
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,650
What shall we lose
at first? Long jump?
104
00:04:13,828 --> 00:04:16,844
Sorry, I got out of it.
105
00:04:17,051 --> 00:04:18,422
What?
106
00:04:18,447 --> 00:04:20,501
I'm helping my dad in
the first-aid tent.
107
00:04:20,537 --> 00:04:22,172
[sighs] you gotta
get me in there.
108
00:04:22,197 --> 00:04:24,556
- Not without an injury.
- But don't worry,
109
00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:26,383
I'm sure you'll hurt yourself.
110
00:04:26,408 --> 00:04:28,633
Kids: [indistinct chatter]
111
00:04:28,658 --> 00:04:31,236
Ooh. I see your mom's here.
112
00:04:31,261 --> 00:04:33,895
Yeah. Why wouldn't she be, dork?
113
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,328
- I was just making small talk.
- I... Didn't...
114
00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:38,419
She seems lovely.
[pa system squawks]
115
00:04:38,488 --> 00:04:40,287
Mike critch,
reporting field-side.
116
00:04:40,324 --> 00:04:41,489
At st. Bridget's sports day.
117
00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:44,137
We now go live to sister rose.
118
00:04:44,161 --> 00:04:45,894
[low mic feedback]
119
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,881
When we think of
sport, children,
120
00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:53,698
We must remember
the ancient romans.
121
00:04:53,723 --> 00:04:56,320
Had a sports day too.
[bunting flutters]
122
00:04:56,345 --> 00:04:59,328
Theirs was held
in the colosseum.
123
00:05:00,028 --> 00:05:03,574
When they threw st. Ignatius
to the lions, he exclaimed,
124
00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:07,420
"I am as grain of the field.
125
00:05:07,552 --> 00:05:10,203
And must be ground by
the teeth of the lions,
126
00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:13,462
That I may become fit
to sit at his table."
127
00:05:14,394 --> 00:05:19,274
So, today, have
fun on this field.
128
00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:23,000
Win your ribbons.
129
00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:26,360
But when you pin
them to your chests,
130
00:05:26,438 --> 00:05:28,838
Remember the rivers of blood.
131
00:05:28,863 --> 00:05:30,939
That once flowed
from the chests.
132
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,109
Of the early christians,
133
00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:35,234
Which stained the sand.
134
00:05:35,259 --> 00:05:39,094
Within that roman colosseum.
135
00:05:40,528 --> 00:05:42,469
Father? [Mic rustles]
136
00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:45,231
Father handrigan:
Let the games begin!
137
00:05:45,256 --> 00:05:48,824
Mr. Byrne: [clears
throat] kids: [cheering]
138
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,015
All right, people, listen up.
139
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,273
Here is how the
day will be ranked.
140
00:05:53,298 --> 00:05:55,276
Gold for excellence,
141
00:05:55,301 --> 00:05:57,100
Silver for losers,
142
00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:59,892
And bronze for the also-rans.
143
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:02,651
And finally, the
participation ribbon.
144
00:06:02,676 --> 00:06:04,776
Which says you may
have showed up,
145
00:06:04,801 --> 00:06:07,213
- But you didn't "show up."
- I'll take it.
146
00:06:07,238 --> 00:06:09,549
In 1965,
147
00:06:09,574 --> 00:06:12,775
I achieved personal excellence.
148
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,480
By winning five gold ribbons.
149
00:06:16,688 --> 00:06:19,298
That is a st. Bridget's record.
150
00:06:19,322 --> 00:06:21,758
That stands to this very day.
151
00:06:21,783 --> 00:06:25,555
Like me, it is unbreakable.
152
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:27,891
I'm gonna break that
scumbag's record.
153
00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:30,116
Mr. Byrne: Ready... Break!
154
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:32,608
[shrill whistle
blast, airhorn blares]
155
00:06:32,679 --> 00:06:34,824
Kids: [cheering excitedly,
indistinct chatter]
156
00:06:34,849 --> 00:06:36,649
Ritchie: Break a
leg. Mark: Hopefully.
157
00:06:36,674 --> 00:06:39,653
- [horn blasts]
- ah! Horn works, that's good.
158
00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:43,458
Oh... No gloves in the
glove box. That's bad.
159
00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:46,328
Now, the first thing
you're gonna wanna do.
160
00:06:46,353 --> 00:06:48,665
Is toggle your gauges,
161
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:51,023
Adjust your seat, and uh...
162
00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:53,866
You just make sure you've got
plenty of room in the ashtray.
163
00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:55,586
Okay. Okay, pop, I-I get it,
164
00:06:55,611 --> 00:06:57,910
But are we actually gonna drive?
165
00:06:57,935 --> 00:06:59,979
- Slow down, b'y.
- We're gettin' there.
166
00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:02,275
[sighs heavily] pop,
we've been here forever.
167
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,281
Please, just get onto the road.
168
00:07:04,306 --> 00:07:06,914
Look, the key is
looking both ways.
169
00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:08,639
And then, behind you.
170
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:10,030
[car idles]
171
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,930
There's no one behind us!
172
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:14,021
We are in an empty parking lot!
173
00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:15,746
Please, pop, let
me take the wheel.
174
00:07:15,771 --> 00:07:17,111
You're too old to drive.
175
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,985
All right, all right,
cut your whining!
176
00:07:21,791 --> 00:07:24,496
[gearshift clunks, horn
blares as car passes]
177
00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:25,932
Jesus! God!
178
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:28,711
[window rolls down]
frig off, ya prick!
179
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:31,594
[engine rumbles loudly]
180
00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:34,929
Adult mark: Like a cat
on a motivational poster,
181
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,753
Fox was hanging in there,
182
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,599
Fuelled with the
kind of stubborn.
183
00:07:38,668 --> 00:07:40,499
You only get from
hating your gym teacher.
184
00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:43,503
- [stopwatch clicks]
- okay. You won. You can let go.
185
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:46,195
That is a gold ribbon.
186
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,409
All right, that is
a new school record.
187
00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,144
For the arm hang.
188
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:51,788
For girls.
189
00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:55,273
The boys record is...
30 seconds longer,
190
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:58,886
And that is a record I
hold to this very day.
191
00:07:58,922 --> 00:08:01,133
- What?!
- I could have beaten that!
192
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:02,823
You told me to let go!
193
00:08:02,859 --> 00:08:05,338
Boys and girls have different
physical thresholds.
194
00:08:05,362 --> 00:08:07,428
There has to be a
natural order, 'kay?
195
00:08:08,564 --> 00:08:10,186
[yells] mark, you're next.
196
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,534
[apparatus thumps,
mark inhales sharply]
197
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:15,984
- [relieved exhale] agh...
- [stopwatch clicks]
198
00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:20,177
[chuckles] and mark has
set a new boy's record.
199
00:08:20,351 --> 00:08:23,130
For shortest arm hang ever!
200
00:08:23,155 --> 00:08:27,023
[mr. Byrne's and kids laugh]
201
00:08:27,911 --> 00:08:30,696
Adult mark: If everyone was
going to laugh at me anyway,
202
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,046
I might as well make
them laugh on purpose.
203
00:08:33,225 --> 00:08:35,090
Your daughter's doing very well!
204
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,067
Yeah! Oh, she's great at sports.
205
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:39,129
I mean, not so much
everything else, but you know.
206
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:40,494
Fox: Mom! Did you see?
207
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:42,219
I got gold!
208
00:08:42,244 --> 00:08:43,941
I would've had the
boys record too,
209
00:08:43,966 --> 00:08:45,677
But mr. Byrne stopped
the clock on me!
210
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:48,569
Don't go showin' everyone
up, now. Nobody likes that.
211
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:50,303
Well, sure, it's just sports.
212
00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:52,530
I just don't want you gettin'
a big head on ya, that's all.
213
00:08:52,555 --> 00:08:54,236
[quietly] no worry
of that around her.
214
00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:56,689
Mike sr.: Boys and girls
club are selling chippers.
215
00:08:56,713 --> 00:08:58,832
And ice cream sandwiches
for fifty cents.
216
00:08:58,857 --> 00:09:01,193
Why don't you go on back out
there and I'll be right out.
217
00:09:01,217 --> 00:09:03,183
- No, but...
- Go on!
218
00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:07,226
Did you have somethin'
to say to me?
219
00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:09,234
Just gonna offer you a cookie.
220
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,270
Chocolate chip. Go on!
221
00:09:11,294 --> 00:09:12,927
They look store bought.
222
00:09:12,996 --> 00:09:15,696
Gold. Congratulations.
223
00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:18,632
- You're goin' down, old man.
- Suzanne: [laughing]
224
00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:20,443
Mom! Look!
225
00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,982
- [laughs] oh, that's... Stop!
- Mike sr.: And the grade 8 boys.
226
00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:24,839
Are the victors
in the tug of war.
227
00:09:24,908 --> 00:09:27,116
Congratulations, boys!
228
00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:30,310
Hey. I'm gonna have to
start calling you klondike.
229
00:09:30,347 --> 00:09:32,379
'Cause that's one
heck of a gold rush.
230
00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:34,327
Mr. Byrne: All right,
bring it in! Bring it in!
231
00:09:34,351 --> 00:09:36,717
You see, the gold rush
was a migration of sorts.
232
00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:38,831
Of prospectors to the yukon...
233
00:09:38,855 --> 00:09:41,088
Who cares about
ribbons, anyways?
234
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,722
Adult mark: I wanted
to go after her,
235
00:09:43,747 --> 00:09:47,081
But fox was as interested
in me as her mom was in her.
236
00:09:47,263 --> 00:09:49,730
Fox: Mom! Mary: I think
your little one's.
237
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,688
Trying to get your
attention there.
238
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:54,013
Sports, baby! Yeah!
239
00:09:54,629 --> 00:09:57,499
- Uh... Huh, huh...
- My god,
240
00:09:57,766 --> 00:10:00,166
Some people don't mind
their youngsters at all.
241
00:10:00,191 --> 00:10:02,316
Mike sr.: Up next,
we have my son, mark,
242
00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:04,611
At the high jump! Just
get it over with, son.
243
00:10:04,648 --> 00:10:06,147
It's like ripping
off a band-aid.
244
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,482
[shrill whistle blast] adult
mark: I decided to compete.
245
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:10,154
In my own version
of the biathlon.
246
00:10:10,179 --> 00:10:13,353
But instead of ski and
shoot, I'd run and joke.
247
00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:16,010
Mr. Byrne: Gimme that pole!
248
00:10:16,035 --> 00:10:17,601
- Woo!
- Give me that...
249
00:10:17,626 --> 00:10:19,438
- Yeah!
- [kids laugh]
250
00:10:19,463 --> 00:10:21,202
Woo!
251
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:23,675
[ghostly] ahhh... I'm a ghost!
252
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:26,500
Woo-ooo! Ooo... I'm a ghost.
253
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,866
Boooo... I'm a ghost
254
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:30,782
[shrill whistle blast] oooo...
255
00:10:30,845 --> 00:10:32,743
You are not funny!
256
00:10:32,964 --> 00:10:35,119
Mike sr.: Attention, students!
Due to rain, some of the grass...
257
00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:36,543
Sin. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
258
00:10:36,779 --> 00:10:38,646
Mike sr.: Nothing
will be cancelled...
259
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,166
That little fella's ruinin' it
for everyone, if you ask me.
260
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:43,684
Not fit, I says.
261
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,827
- [indistinct chatter]
- 'scuse me.
262
00:10:45,998 --> 00:10:48,131
You are making an
arse of yourself.
263
00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:50,034
So? That's all I'm good for.
264
00:10:50,059 --> 00:10:51,334
I can't do any of this stuff.
265
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,292
- How do you know?
- You haven't even tried.
266
00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:56,725
- I'm sorry I'm not athletic!
- I can't change who I am!
267
00:10:56,921 --> 00:10:58,388
Oh, give it up!
268
00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:01,631
Nobody is mad at you
'cause you suck at sports.
269
00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,090
They're mad at ya 'cause you're
makin' this all about you!
270
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:06,513
You could be the worst one
on the team and still win,
271
00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:08,419
But if you don't even try,
well, then you're just draggin'
272
00:11:08,444 --> 00:11:10,108
Everybody else down with ya!
273
00:11:10,551 --> 00:11:11,913
Hey! [Snaps her fingers]
274
00:11:12,141 --> 00:11:14,787
I don't give a flying
frig if you win,
275
00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:16,827
But you are gonna try your best.
276
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:18,116
And if you don't,
277
00:11:18,141 --> 00:11:20,733
Oh, you are gonna win a gold
in long distance running
278
00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:24,336
'cause by the Jesus, if I
catches ya, I'll kill ya!
279
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,741
Smarten up!
280
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:28,311
Adult mark: Like a mother bird
kicking its baby from the nest,
281
00:11:28,336 --> 00:11:30,581
Mom was a fan of tough love.
282
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,367
She was right. I was
letting everyone down,
283
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,125
Including myself.
284
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,483
[shrill whistle blast]
I was going to do it.
285
00:11:37,508 --> 00:11:39,307
I was going to show everyone.
286
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,965
I was going to
bring home the gold!
287
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:46,659
♪♪♪
288
00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:49,269
[bar clatters, heavy
thud] urgh! Oh!
289
00:11:49,294 --> 00:11:50,788
[grunts]
290
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,609
Ow...
291
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,635
[pole knocks]
292
00:11:56,802 --> 00:11:58,613
- Just, just leave it.
- Just leave it there.
293
00:11:58,638 --> 00:12:00,270
[pole rattles]
just, just... Go on.
294
00:12:00,295 --> 00:12:01,705
Get. Get!
295
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:04,430
Adult mark: Or maybe a
silver would be nice.
296
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,356
[T]
297
00:12:08,381 --> 00:12:10,216
Mike sr.: That red-headed
girl is in the lead;
298
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,939
Boy-with-glasses
is on her heels;
299
00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:15,042
Girl-too-tall-for-her-age
is keeping pace, and...
300
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,145
Lastly, my boy is in the rear.
301
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,724
Woman: Woo-hoo!
302
00:12:18,748 --> 00:12:20,167
Man: Hustle! Mary:
Come on, mark!
303
00:12:20,192 --> 00:12:22,228
- Parents: [clap and cheer]
- I'm here to end you.
304
00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:23,884
You're welcome to try.
305
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,686
Adult mark: I really tried.
306
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,888
I tried like I'd never
tried for anything.
307
00:12:28,024 --> 00:12:29,902
In my 12 long years on earth.
308
00:12:29,926 --> 00:12:32,705
Mark, there's a stack of
participations over there.
309
00:12:32,729 --> 00:12:36,163
Maybe grab a couple and
save yourself the trouble.
310
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:39,278
Adult mark: But try as
I might, I still sucked.
311
00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:41,268
- [breathing hard]
- [shrill whistle blast]
312
00:12:42,672 --> 00:12:44,512
Mike sr.: And there'll
be a fifty-fifty draw.
313
00:12:44,574 --> 00:12:47,708
If you want a ticket,
please see sister margaret.
314
00:12:47,844 --> 00:12:49,643
By the bathrooms.
315
00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:51,645
[indistinct chatter]
316
00:12:53,249 --> 00:12:56,116
- Hi.
- Hi.
317
00:12:57,453 --> 00:13:00,053
- Uh, um...
- [ice rattles in cooler]
318
00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:02,923
Juice?
319
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:09,663
All right. [Light pats]
320
00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:15,581
I hope this helps.
321
00:13:15,605 --> 00:13:17,872
- [sharp pained inhale]
- oh, sorry.
322
00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,674
Sorry.
323
00:13:19,809 --> 00:13:21,409
[laughter, indistinct chatter]
324
00:13:21,544 --> 00:13:22,943
Hey.
325
00:13:22,979 --> 00:13:24,912
Congratulations.
326
00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:26,747
It's pretty cool to see.
327
00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:28,482
You're really gonna
break that record.
328
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,162
Thanks.
329
00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:32,965
[indistinct chatter]
kid: All right, come on.
330
00:13:32,989 --> 00:13:36,257
Glad somebody cares.
331
00:13:36,392 --> 00:13:38,091
How are you holding up?
332
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:40,827
Embarrassed, winded,
333
00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:43,564
Hurting inside and out, [sighs]
334
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,634
But I, I kind of, almost,
had fun that time.
335
00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:48,835
Mr. Byrne: Mike! Kick it back!
336
00:13:48,872 --> 00:13:50,905
Just kick the thing!
337
00:13:53,276 --> 00:13:55,887
- Woman: Keep going!
- [hard kick] whoa!
338
00:13:55,911 --> 00:13:57,723
- [hard thud]
- oh!
339
00:13:57,747 --> 00:13:59,647
[gasping for air]
340
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:03,548
He's fine. Just got the wind
knocked out of him, that's all.
341
00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:05,496
Adult mark: Getting the
wind knocked out of you.
342
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:08,300
Was one of those injuries that
only ever happened in childhood.
343
00:14:08,324 --> 00:14:09,990
Like getting a
stitch. Ritchie: Mark!
344
00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:12,459
I knew you'd make it!
I'll grab you a soda.
345
00:14:12,495 --> 00:14:14,194
Uh, don't go!
346
00:14:14,264 --> 00:14:16,463
My leg still hurts.
347
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,232
Oh. Sorry.
348
00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,504
Relax. You can give up now.
349
00:14:23,573 --> 00:14:26,607
[sighs heavily] [ice rattles]
350
00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:29,142
Adult mark: My chest was
as bruised as my ego,
351
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:32,012
But I finally had an
honourable discharge.
352
00:14:32,048 --> 00:14:35,594
But my mother's glare was
colder than any pop can.
353
00:14:35,618 --> 00:14:38,063
I knew what I had to do.
354
00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:40,321
- [can rolls in the ice]
- hey!
355
00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:43,557
- Where ya goin'?
- I'm gonna win a ribbon.
356
00:14:43,626 --> 00:14:45,838
- [horn blares]
- asshole!
357
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,339
What the hell's his problem?
358
00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:49,363
Pop, you're not even goin' 30.
359
00:14:49,498 --> 00:14:51,332
Please, it's my lesson,
just let me drive.
360
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:53,829
You think I'm too old
to drive, don't ya? Hmm?
361
00:14:53,978 --> 00:14:56,245
Ah, thank god I'm not
sharin' a room with you.
362
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,052
Probably wake up in the
middle of the night.
363
00:14:58,077 --> 00:15:00,277
To find you standing
there with a pillow!
364
00:15:00,302 --> 00:15:01,835
Don't get mad, but...
365
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,826
Your eyesight just isn't
what it used to be.
366
00:15:03,851 --> 00:15:05,951
And what do you know
about getting old?
367
00:15:05,976 --> 00:15:07,575
Everybody babying you!
368
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,916
Everyone telling you
what you can't do!
369
00:15:09,953 --> 00:15:11,931
Hey, pop, I, I think
you're going too fast.
370
00:15:11,956 --> 00:15:14,368
- You think I like to drive?
- I hate driving!
371
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:16,560
You know what I hate more
than bloody well driving?
372
00:15:16,585 --> 00:15:19,392
Is people telling me I
can't bloody well drive!
373
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:21,377
- Pop! You gotta slow down!
- [police siren wails]
374
00:15:21,402 --> 00:15:24,115
- Oh! Oh shoot! God!
- Oh my god, the pigs!
375
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,072
Oh! What am I gonna do?
376
00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,874
- Pull over!
- Oh jeez...
377
00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:29,532
[grunts]
378
00:15:29,557 --> 00:15:31,790
[sighs] I'm an old fool.
379
00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:34,322
Now, they're gonna
take my licence.
380
00:15:34,948 --> 00:15:37,962
I'm too old to drive.
[siren wail gets louder]
381
00:15:38,441 --> 00:15:40,642
[siren stops wailing]
I'm just too old.
382
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:43,212
[sighs] dammit! [police
door clicks opens]
383
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:45,450
[door bangs shut]
384
00:15:48,096 --> 00:15:49,628
Ah, young mike!
385
00:15:49,789 --> 00:15:51,688
Takin' him out for a
few lessons are ya, pat?
386
00:15:51,713 --> 00:15:53,560
Well, he won't listen to me.
387
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:56,345
Maybe you'll listen
to officer butt, here.
388
00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,448
Ah, he's too timid.
389
00:15:58,473 --> 00:16:00,473
Not quite ready for the road.
390
00:16:00,498 --> 00:16:02,164
Bit of a nervous nelly,
391
00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,690
Just like his father. [pop
and officer butt chuckle]
392
00:16:04,859 --> 00:16:07,959
Oh, damn kids today, they
just don't know how to drive.
393
00:16:08,277 --> 00:16:09,657
That true?
394
00:16:11,473 --> 00:16:12,984
Yes, officer.
395
00:16:13,009 --> 00:16:15,409
Sorry, I'm just a
little nervous is all.
396
00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:17,666
All right. I'll let
you off with a warning.
397
00:16:17,691 --> 00:16:19,086
Stick to the side roads,
398
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,978
And listen to your
grandfather! [hard pats]
399
00:16:21,223 --> 00:16:23,298
- Both: [chuckling]
- yes, sir.
400
00:16:24,138 --> 00:16:26,939
Um... Well, thanks. I, I, I...
401
00:16:26,964 --> 00:16:29,031
Hey, don't mention it.
402
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,058
- You wanna switch back?
- No, no. Uh...
403
00:16:32,143 --> 00:16:34,345
I think you're ready.
404
00:16:34,949 --> 00:16:37,892
[birds chirp, pop
chuckles softly]
405
00:16:38,181 --> 00:16:40,474
Mom! I tied mr. Byrne
for the record,
406
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:42,388
But three-legged race is next!
407
00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:44,145
They didn't have that
when he went here.
408
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,346
- I'm gonna beat him!
- It'll all be over then,
409
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:48,014
- Will it? Good.
- Uh...
410
00:16:48,051 --> 00:16:50,817
- I'll bet you got a medal.
- [laughs] go on!
411
00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:53,554
How are ya there, paul?
412
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,156
Lisa not here today?
Nah, I 'spose not.
413
00:16:56,292 --> 00:16:57,958
Her eight-months
pregnant and all.
414
00:16:58,094 --> 00:17:00,327
She's probably at home, right?
415
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:02,296
Well, you should go watch.
416
00:17:02,431 --> 00:17:04,164
Your youngster there
now, [button pops]
417
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,533
Or else you might have
to watch your back.
418
00:17:06,602 --> 00:17:10,003
[indistinct chatter]
419
00:17:10,073 --> 00:17:12,918
Button up, now. [whistle
blows in the distance]
420
00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:14,842
[distant laughter and chatter]
421
00:17:16,312 --> 00:17:19,513
I know that I should probably
mind my own business,
422
00:17:19,649 --> 00:17:21,927
But for some reason
that little girl,
423
00:17:21,951 --> 00:17:24,184
She just thinks
the world of you.
424
00:17:25,955 --> 00:17:28,567
And all she wants
is for you to...
425
00:17:28,591 --> 00:17:30,491
Show some kind of
interest in her.
426
00:17:34,097 --> 00:17:36,396
You're right.
427
00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:39,533
You should mind
your own business.
428
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:41,335
My love, come on now.
429
00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:43,504
Let's go! We don't
wanna miss anything!
430
00:17:43,639 --> 00:17:45,172
Adult mark: All
eyes were on fox.
431
00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:47,207
This was history in the making.
432
00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:48,542
[shrill whistle blast]
433
00:17:48,578 --> 00:17:51,011
Last event: Three-legged race.
434
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:54,481
I'm gonna beat
your ass, old man.
435
00:17:54,550 --> 00:17:56,929
[chuckles] that's cheating.
436
00:17:56,953 --> 00:17:59,019
We didn't have that in
my day. It's not fair.
437
00:17:59,088 --> 00:18:00,866
You already cheated.
438
00:18:00,890 --> 00:18:02,923
You wouldn't let me go
for the boy's record!
439
00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:04,959
Okay.
440
00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:06,426
You wanna compete with the boys?
441
00:18:06,462 --> 00:18:08,729
Good.
442
00:18:08,798 --> 00:18:11,031
This event will be co-ed.
443
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,300
The winners gets
two gold ribbons!
444
00:18:14,403 --> 00:18:16,003
[shrill whistle blast] pair up!
445
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,838
Uh, ritchie and tina.
446
00:18:17,907 --> 00:18:20,373
Gary and avery.
447
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:22,776
Fox and mark.
448
00:18:22,845 --> 00:18:24,323
Adult mark: Mr. Byrne
was determined.
449
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:26,647
To protect his record with
the most devastating tool.
450
00:18:26,782 --> 00:18:29,449
Of sabotage he could find... Me.
451
00:18:33,856 --> 00:18:35,389
R.: And now a first-time event.
452
00:18:35,524 --> 00:18:37,591
In sports day history
at st. Bridget's:
453
00:18:37,726 --> 00:18:39,727
A mixed doubles
three-legged race.
454
00:18:39,862 --> 00:18:42,529
The ankle twister, the
hobbler, the equalizer.
455
00:18:42,598 --> 00:18:44,464
Good luck all!
456
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:46,333
Better not wreck this for me.
457
00:18:46,468 --> 00:18:48,647
Hate to say this, but
I'm pretty sure I will.
458
00:18:48,671 --> 00:18:50,382
[shrill whistle blast]
459
00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:52,339
[inspirational music plays]
460
00:18:53,409 --> 00:19:01,409
♪♪♪
461
00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,785
Adult mark: Everyone
loves an underdog.
462
00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:07,354
Even our mothers had put
aside their differences.
463
00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:09,857
The louder they cheered,
the faster I went.
464
00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:13,159
It was as if nothing
could stop us.
465
00:19:13,196 --> 00:19:16,063
- [low slow-motion voice]
- come on!
466
00:19:16,132 --> 00:19:18,977
Adult mark: Then I did.
467
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,935
[distantly] aggggghhhhhhhhh!
468
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:24,037
- [low slow-motion voice]
- oh, for... Noooo!
469
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,741
Come on, fox!
470
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,344
[lawn rustles]
471
00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:32,313
Oh! Go on without me!
472
00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:35,427
Fox: I can't, idiot!
473
00:19:35,451 --> 00:19:38,797
- [low slow-motion voice]
- come on! Come on!
474
00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:41,589
[low slow-motion cheering]
475
00:19:43,526 --> 00:19:45,092
Woman: Get off, get off!
476
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,062
[fox grunts, whistle blows,
cheering and clapping]
477
00:19:48,197 --> 00:19:52,065
- Third place for my boy!
- A complete shock for everyone!
478
00:19:52,101 --> 00:19:54,200
[cheering and clapping]
479
00:19:54,237 --> 00:19:56,903
- [panting] we won!
- We lost, dumb-ass.
480
00:19:56,939 --> 00:19:58,305
But... We won third!
481
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:02,887
- Still got it!
- All time sports day greatest!
482
00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:05,642
[laughing] the
greatest, you hear me?!
483
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,826
Adult mark: Mr. Bryne had
peaked in junior high.
484
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:10,798
And he spent decades hanging
onto those past glories.
485
00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:12,819
Luckily, that was one record.
486
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,986
That fox was not going to break.
487
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:18,345
That sports day, she won
the prize she really wanted.
488
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,681
- Oh...
- I'm sorry.
489
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:23,167
I wasted your time. I
didn't break the record.
490
00:20:23,192 --> 00:20:27,329
I saw all o' that, my
ducky, and you were awesome.
491
00:20:27,354 --> 00:20:28,728
Oh...
492
00:20:28,788 --> 00:20:31,154
You're always a
winner in my books.
493
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,951
Sure, look at all
the gold on ya.
494
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:35,548
You got more gold
than mr. T. [chuckles]
495
00:20:35,573 --> 00:20:37,740
I got my first real ribbon!
496
00:20:37,765 --> 00:20:40,278
- Third place.
- Seriously?
497
00:20:40,303 --> 00:20:42,169
So, there were only
three of you in the race?
498
00:20:42,194 --> 00:20:43,282
Hey.
499
00:20:45,269 --> 00:20:47,881
[hands clap lightly, light pat]
500
00:20:47,906 --> 00:20:49,683
So? How was he?
501
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,475
Pop: He almost got a ticket,
502
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,733
But I talked the cop out of it.
503
00:20:54,657 --> 00:20:55,989
[gruff chuckle]
504
00:20:56,645 --> 00:21:00,848
[light pats] Adult mark: That day, I
learned that you never really lose.
505
00:21:00,873 --> 00:21:02,251
Unless you quit,
506
00:21:02,276 --> 00:21:04,309
And that with the right
people on your side,
507
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:07,517
Losing can feel an
awful lot like winning.
508
00:21:08,323 --> 00:21:15,195
♪♪♪
509
00:21:16,018 --> 00:21:22,890
♪♪♪
510
00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:29,963
♪♪♪
511
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:37,504
♪♪♪
38320
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