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1
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,436
Sometimes when I'm talking
to my daughter...
2
00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:11,566
...I'll be looking down at her,
my little girl, and I just--
3
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,737
I see my mother, you know?
4
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:18,748
Your mother?
Yeah.
5
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:24,149
Is your mother there?
Is she...?
6
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:27,157
No, I just mean when I look
at my daughter...
7
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,888
...that's what I see sometimes.
I see my mom.
8
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:35,262
Is she standing in front
of her or is...?
9
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,430
Are you at
your mother's house or...?
10
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,698
[IAN LLOYD'S "BROTHER LOUIE"
PLAYING]
11
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:52,475
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
12
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:56,978
Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah
13
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,916
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
14
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:06,557
Louie, Louie, you're gonna cry
15
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:11,163
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
16
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:15,699
Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah
17
00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:20,540
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
18
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:25,006
Louie, Louie, you're gonna die
19
00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:29,247
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
20
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,156
[PANTING]
21
00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:42,766
You doing a show tomorrow?
22
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,537
Yeah, I'm doing a short set
at the Cellar.
23
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,698
I got this girl I'm dating,
you mind if I bring her?
24
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,741
Fine.
25
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,209
What are you doing after?
26
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,041
I don't know. Why?
27
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:00,742
Maybe you could hang out
with us after.
28
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,656
You're gonna be on a date?
29
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,725
[PANTING]
30
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:10,692
Come hang out with us after
you're done.
31
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,332
Why? That's weird.
32
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,434
She wants to meet you.
33
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,193
All right.
34
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:23,673
After the show, I'll hang out for a few
minutes, say hi, then you take her out.
35
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,978
But....
36
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,478
What's the deal?
37
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,051
Okay, this is kind of weird.
38
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,687
Yeah, it is.
39
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,085
Don't get all jaggedy on me.
40
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,292
Bro, I met this girl.
41
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:47,457
I really like her. I mean, she's amazing
and she gets me really, really horny.
42
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:51,764
I mean, she's beautiful.
I mean, this chick-- This woman....
43
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,929
Oh, my God.
Okay, so what?
44
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,768
We've been out like six times.
45
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,934
We always wind up back at her place
making out, but--
46
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,546
I mean, really making out,
tongues are everywhere.
47
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:03,204
I mean, she's grabbing on me.
48
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,442
She's grabbing on me--
This sounds great...
49
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:09,384
...but I don't wanna keep hearing about it.
Okay, so...
50
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:14,084
...we always do the same thing,
just making out at her place.
51
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:18,287
And I get--
I mean, my dick is hard as a nail.
52
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,932
It's swollen.
My dick is swollen and leaking--
53
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,432
This is the part I didn't want
to hear, so stop.
54
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,197
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, here's the thing.
55
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,431
She really wants me.
56
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,735
But only with another guy.
57
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:37,181
She can't get off with anything
less than two guys.
58
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,317
She can't get off with one guy?
59
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,976
Anything less than two,
she can't do it.
60
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:46,319
So she said if I can get another guy--
Stop talking now. Stop talking.
61
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:49,188
Stop making words--
You don't understand. You're not getting it.
62
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:51,887
Don't say it out loud.
Please don't say it out loud.
63
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,465
I told her who you were.
64
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:57,603
She's a fan.
She thought it would be hot.
65
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,170
You want to have a threesome
with your own brother?
66
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,807
No.
What's wrong with you?
67
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:06,036
No, no, no. She does.
She does. I have a plan.
68
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:09,579
You pretend like you're gonna do it,
you're into it. We'll all go out...
69
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,116
...then we come back, you pretend like
you're gonna start in with us...
70
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,651
...and then leave.
71
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:19,121
You know, like you have to leave
because you have prior engagements.
72
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:22,728
And then I'm there, she's all hot.
Louie, she's all hot and then--
73
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:27,093
Look, it might not work,
but that's my only chance, bro.
74
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,930
Look, you're my brother,
and I like you a lot...
75
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,199
...so here's what I'm willing to do,
okay?
76
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,275
Yeah.
77
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,070
I'm gonna go home now...
78
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,543
...and I'm not gonna talk to you
for three weeks.
79
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:42,738
Bro.
80
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,349
Good luck.
Bro.
81
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,791
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
82
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,457
I don't know, I'm supposed to give
my kids values.
83
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,756
I don't have any of those.
84
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,229
I used to, but they're melting away.
85
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:05,132
They finally are. You know, you get
instilled with values by your parents...
86
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,136
...and by school, whatever else.
87
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,502
Society teaches you things,
makes you--
88
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,371
Teaches you how to be a good person.
89
00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:14,479
But you ever feel
for your real values inside?
90
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,639
Like, who you would be
if you had no guidance?
91
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,877
I think about that sometimes.
What are the things I believe...
92
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:25,013
...in my marrow that I can't really--
93
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:28,786
That had to be shaved away?
They're coming back now.
94
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:31,759
Like, here's one. I really,
somewhere deep down, I believe...
95
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:37,198
...that if you murder somebody
and you never get caught, it's fine.
96
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,141
You kind of didn't do
anything wrong.
97
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,901
[LAUGHING]
98
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,745
Mom?
Hello, Louie.
99
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,052
Mom.
100
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,422
Hello.
101
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,461
Mom, I didn't know you
were coming here.
102
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,429
Well, that's because
I didn't tell you.
103
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,398
Girls, say hi to your grandma.
104
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,594
Hello, grandma.
105
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,033
Hello, girls.
106
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,606
Listen, I gotta take them
to their mom's.
107
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:20,212
You wanna come with me or....
Well, not really, I'm tired.
108
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,713
Okay, why don't you wait here
and I'll be back in about half an hour.
109
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:27,546
Well, what do I do while you're gone?
110
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,984
Whatever you want.
Make yourself something to eat.
111
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,521
That's not really ideal.
112
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:34,353
I am hungry, but I don't like
fending for myself.
113
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:37,087
I didn't know you were coming.
I gotta take them, so--
114
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,824
Well, can't you make me something
to eat first and then take them?
115
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,060
What are they doing here anyway?
You're divorced.
116
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:49,004
Mom.
Sorry. They don't know you're divorced?
117
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:50,699
Daddy, can we
please go now?
118
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,744
Yeah, let's go, baby. Sorry, Mom,
we gotta get going, so....
119
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,144
Well, I think this is very rude.
120
00:06:57,316 --> 00:07:00,114
I hardly ever see you,
and I can't get a thing out of you.
121
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:04,120
Meanwhile, this one peeps
she wants to go and you hop to it.
122
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,383
Bye, Mom. See you later.
123
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,790
I'm frankly amazed
that you're leaving me.
124
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:13,659
I came all this way to see you.
I wanted to surprise you.
125
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,365
MOM:
I need to lie down, have a cup of tea.
126
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:21,098
Let's go, girls, come on.
MOM: I came a long way and I'm very tired.
127
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,901
My feet are killing me.
Daddy?
128
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,804
Yeah?
Why is your mommy like that?
129
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,242
I don't know, baby.
MOM: I deserve more respect than this.
130
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:31,872
Do you love her?
Yeah.
131
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:35,452
Why?
I don't know.
132
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:39,853
Love is a weird thing. If you really love
somebody, you hate them at some point.
133
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,358
Your mother is the first
person you ever love.
134
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:47,192
The first person that you love. Who wants
to talk to their mother anymore?
135
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:49,459
I mean, once you're a grown-up,
your mother...
136
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,103
...who gave birth to you,
made everything possible for you...
137
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,068
...when she's around you
and your friends--
138
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,367
When you're alone with your mom,
you can take it.
139
00:07:56,542 --> 00:08:00,000
But when you're with your friends,
she starts talking: "We got here at 5."
140
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:04,479
You're like, "Just shut up. Just shut up.
Just shut up."
141
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:08,279
Please, let there be
another 9/11 right now...
142
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:12,914
...and there's a phone call about it
so that I don't have to listen to this.
143
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,826
I'm just saying that if I had known
we were going to take a taxi here...
144
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,665
...I would have dressed differently.
145
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,739
How do you dress for a cab ride,
Mom?
146
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,432
WAITER:
Okay, are you guys ready?
147
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,443
I'm sorry, yes.
Bring me a menu with larger type.
148
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,513
WAITER: I'm sorry?
This print is too small.
149
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,673
Bring me a menu with larger type.
Mom, I can read it to you.
150
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,719
I don't need you to read it to me.
He can bring me a menu with larger type.
151
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,049
Jesus Christ.
152
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:47,989
Ma'am, I'm sorry.
We don't have menus with larger type.
153
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,927
We don't have those menus.
154
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,133
Well, I guess we'll just have to eat
somewhere else.
155
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,667
Here we go, yep.
156
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,934
This salad isn't very good.
157
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,773
In fact, it's not good. I hate it.
Mom, why are you here?
158
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:10,108
Why did you come here
without telling me?
159
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:14,049
That's right, I came to tell you
that I'm a lesbian.
160
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,546
What?
161
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:22,018
I said I'm a lesbian.
162
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:26,789
Okay.
163
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:30,800
You know, I think I always was,
even when I was with your father.
164
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:34,804
We only had sex two times, one was
for your brother and the other for you.
165
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,464
And it was...
166
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,906
...really disgusting.
167
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,938
At least it was for me. I hated it.
168
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:44,548
All right.
And now I know that it was because...
169
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,777
...I wasn't paying attention
to what my body needed.
170
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,717
This is my body.
171
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:53,188
It's worth something more than
squeezing out two men...
172
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:56,260
...that I have less in common
with than the man I married.
173
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,330
I mean, who needs any of you?
174
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:02,990
This is my body.
My body is a woman.
175
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,296
Woman!
176
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,107
Woman.
177
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,177
Woman.
178
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,645
Well, what do you think?
179
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,787
Don't you have anything to say?
Not really.
180
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,422
Wouldn't you like to know
how I arrived at this?
181
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,150
What my journey has been?
You know, Mom....
182
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:28,452
[CLEARS THROAT]
183
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,255
I haven't seen you in a year.
184
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:33,193
I know. You've gotten fatter.
You know...
185
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,096
...Iast Christmas, you asked kids and I
to come with you...
186
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:39,203
...to spend it at your house,
we get there, it's dark and empty.
187
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,669
You were gone.
188
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,671
Yeah, I was in Phoenix.
189
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:44,975
You invited us for Christmas.
190
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,044
And then I decided to go to Phoenix.
191
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,273
It was very cold.
And my friend invited me.
192
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,384
My kids spent Christmas
in a Holiday Inn...
193
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:58,452
...and Santa brought them each
a bag of M&M's.
194
00:10:58,624 --> 00:10:59,989
Are you serious?
195
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:04,357
Your mother tells you she just found
out who she is and you have no opinion?
196
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,395
Nope. I don't care.
197
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:10,592
Uh-huh. You're homophobic.
Oh, no. Ha, ha.
198
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,534
No, I don't care what you do
with your vagina.
199
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,732
Honestly, you can take your vagina
and shove it up your ass.
200
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:20,709
Be careful what you say about the place
from whence you came.
201
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:25,042
From whence I came?
202
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:27,515
That's really-- I gotta go.
203
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:33,387
But I haven't told you about my wife.
I don't give a shit, Mom!
204
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,151
I don't care!
205
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,921
I'm 42 now.
I don't even ever think about you.
206
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:43,901
You know, Lily asked me today
why I love you.
207
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:47,801
I couldn't remember.
You know why? Because I don't. I don't.
208
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,498
I really don't love you, Mom.
209
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:52,507
My kids don't love you, either.
210
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:56,546
Because you don't care that they're alive.
You don't even know that I'm alive.
211
00:11:57,149 --> 00:12:00,744
The only person who loves you is
my brother, and that's why he's a loser.
212
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,515
You didn't come here to see us. You came
to parade around your new identity.
213
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,022
Well, I don't give a shit, Mom.
214
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,626
I really don't.
215
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:13,254
Just go away, please,
and don't come back.
216
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:16,597
[CRYING]
217
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,703
Oh, Jesus.
218
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,237
[CRYING]
219
00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:31,447
This is bullshit,
you need to know that.
220
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,450
[CRYING]
221
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,220
Dude.
222
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,525
[CRYING]
223
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:48,490
Here's another one, another thing I
believe deep down, again...
224
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:53,570
...is that gay people should stop
doing that, because....
225
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:58,107
And not for any moral or societal
reason. I don't give a shit.
226
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,801
I have gay friends. That's love.
227
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,607
You should respect
what they wanna do with their lives...
228
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,250
...but they're just--
They're doing it wrong.
229
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:09,114
It's not supposed to be two vaginas
smooshed together.
230
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,778
It doesn't make any sense.
231
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:14,551
It's like two buckets and you hold
the openings against each other.
232
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,422
There's nothing being accomplished.
233
00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:19,223
You need to put a thing in a thing,
otherwise what's--?
234
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,797
What are you doing?
235
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:25,096
I mean, gay guys, I get it, because they're
putting a dick in a place.
236
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:28,536
In an ass of a man, which--
By the way, what better place...
237
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,073
...to put a dick than a man's ass?
238
00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,734
It's perfect. It's--
239
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,642
Even a vagina is awkward.
240
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,682
You have to go up and in,
and you have to kind of....
241
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:42,048
Or she has to splay herself,
and you have to go like this.
242
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,382
It just looks weird, even.
243
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:49,126
But a guy, you just walk up to him
and your dick's in his ass.
244
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:52,059
That's it, you just walk up behind him.
245
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,162
And it's that simple.
246
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,496
Just-- I'm gay.
247
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,195
That's it.
You just walk up, you're gay.
248
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:04,138
And then somebody goes into you.
249
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,837
That's how we were packed originally
to save space.
250
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,179
But the two holes bump:
251
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,116
What the hell are you doing?
252
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:20,190
It's wrong.
Not morally, just geometrically.
253
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,636
Bro, what are you
telling me here?
254
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,035
Mom is a lesbonian?
255
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,731
Yeah.
256
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:38,835
This--
257
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,273
This is bad.
258
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,572
This is bad news.
259
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:43,578
It is?
Yeah.
260
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,614
That's my mother. I'm her son.
261
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:48,685
I gotta go to a doctor or something
and get checked out.
262
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,321
Checked out for what?
263
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:54,516
Stupid, if she's got the gay genes,
I might have the gay genes.
264
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,752
So you're gonna get screened
for gay genes?
265
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,193
Dude, what if I'm gay?
266
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,890
Then you're gay, man.
I don't know.
267
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,195
There's no way she's a lesbonian.
That's our mother.
268
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,831
How did she have kids
if she doesn't do guys?
269
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,033
I don't know.
270
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,838
And why the hell did she tell you?
I call her every day.
271
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,481
I don't know.
She didn't tell me she was in town.
272
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,244
She wants us to meet her tonight
with her wife.
273
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,613
Wife. My mother's wife.
274
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:24,017
What the shit is that, Lou?
275
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,781
What's this world coming to?
276
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:29,325
Maybe this is a good thing.
Mom has been a mess her whole life.
277
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,895
Maybe this will center her.
278
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:37,301
I don't know, bro.
I'm not into this shit.
279
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:40,796
[SIGHS]
280
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,274
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]
281
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,082
Why are you wearing a suit?
282
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,414
Gotta have some respect.
283
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,691
[SIGHS]
284
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,757
Hi, boys.
285
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:15,239
Hey. Love you, Ma.
Robbie.
286
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,967
Louie.
How's it going?
287
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,611
Robbie, you're pretty fat too.
288
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,914
Is that all you boys do,
get fat and die?
289
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,641
[LAUGHING]
290
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,945
Oh, here she comes.
291
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:36,686
[MOM GIGGLES]
292
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,201
Okay, okay.
Can we have a seat, please?
293
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:51,467
MOM: Jasmine, these are
my boys, Louie and Robbie.
294
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,702
Hi, what's up?
295
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,608
Your mom's really cool.
296
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,682
That's great. That's really great.
297
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,478
Hi.
298
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:06,087
Can I start you guys off with a drink?
299
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:09,720
Yeah, I'll have a vodka on the rocks.
Perfect. Me too.
300
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,056
Just bring him a water, please.
301
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,393
No fun.
Heh, heh.
302
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,535
Since when
did you start drinking vodka?
303
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,763
Jasmine has been introducing me
to a lot of new things.
304
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:23,407
She's been very good for me.
305
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,435
So let me get this straight.
306
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:30,139
My mother's married to a girl
who's younger than me...
307
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:33,375
...and way hotter than any chick
I've ever dated...
308
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:37,147
...or ever will date in my life.
Robbie.
309
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,950
I would think you'd be
glad for me.
310
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:43,390
Aren't you happy that your mother
finally found love?
311
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,996
Finally found love?
312
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:49,561
Mom, I've loved you my whole life.
313
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:53,728
That's all I've ever done is love you,
and you didn't even notice.
314
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,704
Come on,
who doesn't love their mother?
315
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,868
Jasmine loves me
for me.
316
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,843
I love you for you.
317
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,677
I love you for you, Ma.
318
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,945
How many times
did I told you I loved you?
319
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:12,613
I tried to remember
when you said it to me, and I just can't.
320
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,887
Oh, I'm sure I said it.
321
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,551
When, Ma?
322
00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:22,462
When? I've never felt your love, ever.
323
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,300
You know what that's like?
324
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,235
Your own mother?
325
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,501
That's why I'm--
My life is just so messed up.
326
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,646
Don't blame me for that.
327
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:39,546
I'm sure I said "I love you"
somewhere down the line.
328
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,687
So you're saying
you do love me?
329
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,755
Do you love me, Mom?
330
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:48,120
Stop it. This is a restaurant.
331
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,158
I asked you a question.
332
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:54,095
Do you love me, Mom?
Robbie, don't go there.
333
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:57,827
If you do, if you love me,
just tell me.
334
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,801
Robert, I will not be held hostage
like this.
335
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,204
I do not play this game.
336
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:07,038
Game? What game?
337
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:10,943
I'm your son. I'm just asking you
to say that you love me.
338
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,981
What game, Ma?
339
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,279
So you go to school?
Ma...
340
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,187
...just say it.
341
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:24,455
Say you love me.
342
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,367
Ma, please, just say it.
343
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,003
[ROBBIE SNIFFLING]
344
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,661
Please.
345
00:19:39,978 --> 00:19:42,503
No. You stay.
346
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:52,282
[ROBBIE SOBBING]
347
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,153
Ugh. This is a total bummer.
348
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:57,992
[ROBBIE SOBBING]
349
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:02,658
LOUIE: I think there's a hell,
and I think I'm going.
350
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:06,793
Like a friend of mine was telling me
about how he had sex with a hooker...
351
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:10,430
...and it turned out to be a guy,
and it was a horrible thing for him.
352
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,509
And he had to get over it with therapy.
353
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:16,409
And as I'm listening to this, I realize:
"Shit, that happened to me too."
354
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:21,946
And the upsetting part of it wasn't that
it happened, but that I had forgotten.
355
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,513
This wasn't, like, a landmark in my life
like it was for him.
356
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:31,129
Like, "Oh, yeah, no shit. I f**** a guy once
back in Montreal. I forgot about that."
357
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:34,260
[LAUGHS]
358
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,171
[CRYING]
359
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:45,970
LOUIE:
Jesus Christ.
360
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,246
[CRYING]
361
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,247
[CRYING]
362
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,783
Why?
363
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,556
[CRYING]
364
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,562
Shut up.
365
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,359
Dude, seriously.
366
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,475
[English - US - PSDH]
28115
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