All language subtitles for Tu Me Manques (1h,51) 2019 Bolivia [I Miss You]

I asked you to please delete
all our pictures from your Instagram.

You don't need to say anything,
just delete them. Hope you're OK.

Please... there is nothing to talk about.

I sent you an e-mail. I wrote everything
I had to tell you to make peace.

I won't write you ever again. I promise.

I just read it.

You made me cry.

I miss you.

Hello? I was just thinking about you...

Can you hear me handsome?

Hello.

I clicked on it by mistake...

I was reading... hello?

Can you see me? You have to
click on the little camera icon.

Just a second, I'm putting on headphones.

Ah! There we go.

Hello.

Can you see me?

Yes, now I can.

I thought it was a chat.

I'm Gabriel's father.

I know who you are, sir.

- Where is Gabriel?
- Are you...

Oh well... I don't know.

I'm his ex boyfriend. We were dating but...

Listen, I'll be brief.
It wasn't my intention to call

nor do I care to get to know you.

I saw you tried to contact Gabriel several times.

The only thing I want from you,
after what happened, is to stay away.

I don't want to see you again, I don't want
you to contact anyone in my family.

Don't even think of asking about Gabriel.

You've caused enough pain to him
and our family already.

And listen to me because
I'm not playing games, you piece of shit.

If I ever see you close to anyone
in my family, I swear I'll kill you.

Is that all?

I don't have anything else to say.

I'm closing his account on Facebook
as soon as I hang up...

Excuse me sir, with all due respect,
I would like to clarify a few things

that you apparently don't know or don't
want to know. Your son is a grown man...

I'm not interested in your opinion!

I don't care how your parents
raised you. I'm just warning you.

I don't believe you sir. If you contacted me,
it was for a reason so please let me finish, OK?

You think I was born yesterday? I know your kind.

With all due respect, sir.
You have no fucking clue who your son is.

Who the hell do you think your are?

What do you know about me and my family?

You have no fucking clue of what's at stake here.

The name of a family, the firm, the bank...

You don't care about anything.

And put on a T-shirt, goddamn it!

I don't need to see your tits.

Shame! You should me ashamed!
We don't have people like that in my family.

Sir, what do you want from me? An apology?

You still have time to change,
to let Gabriel know that you love him.

Where is he now?

What the fuck are you talking about?
How can you be so malicious?

You know what sir? I've had enough.
Go talk to your son and leave me alone!

If your son is as brave as you say,
he should be the one telling me all of this.

I don't owe you anything.

Gabriel is dead!

Dead!

He died two weeks ago.

Hey, this is Gabriel, leave your message.

You didn't know...

I though you knew.

We got his backpack and his suitcase first.

We haven't even opened it yet.

His body arrived several days later.

I went to see him. I didn't want
anyone else to see him like that.

What happened?

I don't know... I don't even know
what day it is today.

Today I went to his room for the first time
to search for answers.

I saw the last conversation
he had with you on Facebook.

You brainwashed him,
you filled his head with lies.

You killed him. You made him hate
his family and left him confused and alone.

He asked you a million times to leave him alone.
I saw the messages.

But you kept harassing him.

What does "tu me manques" mean?

You wrote that to him several times.

What the fuck did you do to him?

If you had kids of your own,
you'd know what a father is capable of.

Disappear forever.

You don't have the right to be part of his death.

Sir...

I'll do what you're asking.

But you should know that
even if I'm not part of his death,

I was the most important part of his life.

Shame on your family!

Shame on you you for losing a son you never knew!

Hi this is Gabriel, leave your message.

Hi this is Gabriel, leave your message.

Leave your message.

This is Gabriel...

Do you know what happened?
Did you talk to someone in Bolivia?

No. His friends blocked me on Facebook.
I think they blame me.

The ones who knew he was gay...

They live double lives
and were opposed to us being out.

They said I was exposing them.

That's absurd.

That's Bolivia. And most of South America too.

His dad said they asked him to identify the body.

And of course nobody says anything about suicide.
They say it was an accident.

Maybe it was...

No.

I spoke to him days before his flight to Bolivia.

He had just came out his sister.

He came out of the closet to her.

Something must have happened.

Maybe I pressured him too much?

I won't allow you to say that.

You didn't do anything but love him.

When you feel better, write him a love letter.

Write about all of what you're telling me.

Say the things you've never had the time to say.

I try to cling to every memory of him,
every detail.

Our last morning together, our fights,
the trip to the airport...

The memories keep on changing
as if my brain was making it all up

and I'm afraid of forgetting his face.

Then turn all this pain
and anger into something good.

Something positive and strong.

Something useful so this won't happen again.

Brooklyn, New York - 2016

I haven't finished yet but it's really good!
I like the idea but...

I think it will be impossible to finance it.

You know that's a sensitive subject here...
one second Sebas.

Marta in five minutes I need you in the studio
for a quick chat before we go live.

I would be impossible
to get a sponsor Sebastian...

How about public funds for culture?
We can apply to...

That's even harder, there's too much bureaucracy.
Listen, to be honest

I have too much work and my wife is pregnant,
I don't think I'll be able to...

Please, read the script and then we talk.
I'll deal with the bureaucracy.

I just quit my job, this is all I've got.

I don't think I was clear enough.

It's very hard to talk about these
things here. It's still taboo.

They'll hang us by balls, brother!
It's that simple.

I don't care. This is not just a play,
It's way beyond that.

We can change things.
It happened to me, it happens to many others.

We can't afford to be afraid.

You have no experience doing theater,
that'll be a problem!

I'll surround myself with the best choreographers
and theater experts.

I have some people in mind.

And ten actors? You will never find ten male
actors in this city willing to play a gay role.

Really? Forget that. Make it 20!

Sebas don't be like that, you're not listening...

I'll make you a deal.
If I find 30 actors, you produce this play!

Please say your name, your age
and why you're doing this.

My name is Manuel, I'm 17.

My name is Ricardo,
I study commercial engineering.

I used to force myself
to masturbate with pictures of women.

I would find a magazine and look for the girl
with the biggest breasts.

Once I finished, I'd start to feel guilty.

After ejaculating I started to cry.

I am trans and I personally believe
I've been very lucky.

Because I know not all stories
are as beautiful as mine.

I used to be skinny,
people bullied me when I was younger.

So I started going to gym to look like

the biggest soap opera actors I saw on TV.

He once told me he'd rather
have an addict as a son...

than a faggot.

Gays guys don't know
how to relate to other gay guys.

At first they will look for you

they find you attractive and get obsessed.

Then you have sex and...

Boom, they freak out.
They leave and distance themselves.

They will even hurt you so that you'll step away.

And leave without a trace.

My family doesn't accept me.

I try to make them understand
I'm the same person. The same son.

Who fights for his dreams
and want to make them happy and proud.

I understand they might be ignorant
on this subject...

and one of the reasons
why I distance them myself from them...

It's not so I can be happy...

But so they won't suffer even more.

New York, United States. 2014

Get the fuck out, really?

- Where are you from? I'm from Cochabamba.
- I'm from Santa Cruz. I came here to study.

Do you have shoes?

Uh... these ones?

No wait... Here.

What shoe size are you?

- Ten and a half.
- Try mine.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, no worries.

Sorry if they smell a bit.

The shoes are a bit big but the shirt is perfect.

Are you OK?

Yes... I'm sure you'll get the job.

I hope so.

Besides you're very handsome.

Thank you!

- You can pay it upstairs.
- Nice meeting you.

- My shirt...
- Oh, right. Here it is.

Well, thank you.

Bye, take care.

- Hey, do you have plans for tomorrow?
- Ah, I don't think so.

I'm going to a friend's rooftop party,
would you like to come?

Sure, but... I'm not gay.

Pff, obviously. Me neither...
Actually I am but don't worry.

Well, I'm Gabriel.

Sebastian, my pleasure.
My friends call me Sebas like the fish.

OK, thank you!

Of course, have a good one.

Sir, I'm calling the police.

- The embassy knows about your threat.
- Excuse me I need to talk to you.

- Move your hand or I'll hurt you. Alonso!!!
- No, please.

I'm not afraid of you.

I came here to talk.

I just want to talk.

Listen to me!

I know you can hear me...

I've lost my only son a month ago.

I don't know what happened. It doesn't make sense.

And you know things that I need to know.

I'm calling the police!

Fuck!

You said I didn't know my son!

I haven't slept in weeks thinking about that.

I came for my son... I cannot go on one more day
without knowing what I missed.

How dare you say I don't know my son...?
He's my son!

I taught him to walk, to tie his shoelaces,
to ride his bike, I taught him to speak.

Of course I know him, he's my son.

He came from me!

And I gave him my life!

Tell me. What the fuck don't I know about my son?

I want the truth.

He had a girlfriend before you.

You are all lucky. Lucky!

I didn't have the opportunity to do what I wanted.

My dad... He would have kicked my ass.

Your generation grew up with too much freedom.

At your age I already had two kids.
Responsibilities!

What have you done with your life?

What the fuck do you know about life?

That's what you want?

See me scared, weak, a faggot?

Go ahead, hit me! Destroy my face
like you did with your son's life.

Do you think I'm scared?

But doing this won't bring your son back
or change who he was.

Go on. Be the man you wanted your son to be.

I'm not here to fight. You all want me
to be a monster! Well, I'm not one!

I'm not one!

I took him to the doctor to get his glasses.
Glaucoma said the doctor.

They would bully him in school.
That's why I took him to karate lessons.

That's why I wanted him to do military service.
This world is made for the strong ones.

I had to make him a man.

That's where you're wrong.

Being a man means to be honest.

To be in control of your time,
your decisions and your life.

Being a man is having the bravery
to be whoever your want to be.

Did you know he had a phoenix tattoo in his body?

He got it done in a place
where you'd never see it.

We are professionals at hiding,
disguising who we are.

Emotional contortionists.

Until we say: "enough".
And stop being afraid and feeling ashamed.

You want the truth? Your son was afraid of you.
That's the truth.

He was used to waking up at 7am every morning.

I usually slept longer.

But he was very strict with his schedule and diet.

He would prepare 12 eggs, no yolk,
a slice of toast and protein. Or just oatmeal.

And then he'd wake me up
with a kiss or a Shakira song.

He loved Shakira.

I was never able to say no to breakfast with him.

I was in charge of coffee, in a French press.

Afterward he sat and studied English or read
a book with a dictionary, he would take notes...

In his desk, over there.

Once I gave him The Great Gatsby.

He would love to read it.

I take medication every morning
for my blood pressure.

And yesterday with the flight and everything else

I forgot to take it, what happened?

Hi my love.

Sorry, I was in the shower.

Uh... yes, the hotel is fine.

Yes, I know. I'm sorry. My battery is dead.

I think I'll have to stay
a few more days in Washington.

Have you talked to your mum?

Well, if she calls tell her that...

I am not asking you to take any sides.

You know what? It's better
if you don't say anything.

Alright? Nothing.

Good.

I'll call you later today.

I can't talk now but don't worry.

I love you.

We need to find you a hotel.

- We have a cast.
- It's an army.

- Twenty nine.
- We need one more.

He seemed fine.

His mother used to talk to him every week.

She said she didn't
like his new friends in New York.

"A dangerous city
filled with lost souls", she said.

I told her I'd help him with his career,
to get his head straight.

It's hard to find a job in the U.S.

He told us he wanted to visit his sister
in Miami before coming back.

Gabriel got along incredibly well with his niece.

We thought it would do him good...

Family always helps you to keep a clear mind.
It grounds you.

It was a month ago...

He should have returned a month ago.

He checked in...

He said goodbye to his sister... Nothing unusual.

But he never got on the plane.

He escaped the airport,
at least that's what they said.

Climbed a tall building...

and jumped.

We took him to a psychologist
a couple of times but...

he didn't want to go back. He said he was cured.

What other option did he have?
You forced him to lie. Your wife...

No, my wife... is sick.

Yes, she told him she had cancer
and that it was God's punishment...

We thought it was cancer, thank God...

She knew exactly what she was doing.
Who does that to their son?

He also told her that.

The thing is that...

she is very devoted to God.

And she told him he had to choose
between God and his deviation.

She also spoke to our priest...

and he said that God forgives those who repent.

Your wife made him choose between God's love
and embracing his sexual being.

Which means to live alone forever,
without the chance to fall in love

or share intimacy with another person,
experience tenderness, compassion.

You were asking your son to hate his own
sexuality, you were teaching him to hate himself.

And what was I supposed to do?

What was I supposed to do?
Tell him everything was fine?

That everything would be alright?

You know perfectly well the country we live in.
The shitty mentality...

You were willing to sacrifice
your son's happiness for fear of the society?

What kind of coward are...

I'm not a coward!

I'm here.

- Then what are you afraid of?
- God.

God!

Anyone with a Christian conscience
believes in what's in the Bible.

I believe in God's word.

It says that what you people do is an abomination.

The Bible also says that slavery
is a natural condition...

When I was raised, it wasn't an option.

Its not an option sir, I swear.
No one chooses to be this way.

We are all born helpless and hungry for love.
We need someone to care care of us.

And the only ones capable of giving us that love
and protection are our parents.

It's not all my fault. It's not all my fault!

My wife blames me too.

She says I wasn't strict enough with him.

She won't even talk to me.

If you want to get to know your son,
you should meet his friends,

Those dangerous psychopaths your wife
is so afraid of. Just for a few days.

You owe it to him.

After that you can judge us all you want.

Come one guys. Let's get into pairs.

I'm going to ask you to hug your partner.

Feel their breathing and their heartbeat.

Now close your eyes and relax.

I want you to think about someone you love dearly.

It can be a boyfriend, a girlfriend...

A father, a mother... a friend...

Now communicate with that person
through your breathing.

Communicate through your heartbeats.

I want you to tell them what they mean to you.

Thank them for everything
they brought into your life.

If an image, a memory
or an emotion comes up, follow it.

Are you hungry?

Well, it is what it is.

Hello handsome. "Papi churro"...

I'm going to make something.

What's the difference between across
from and in front of?

Perspective...

My wife mentions some passages from the Bible...
I don't remember now. It's in the New Testament.

Yes... Romans, Corinthians and Timothy.

They were letters written by Paul.
All three of them.

Here it is.

Wonderful, don't you think?

My son painted this?

Yes.

Paul talks about the sanctity of marriage often
in his writing, and yet he never got married.

Paul lived a celibate life.

That explains a lot why he says what he says.

Now, in Corinthians, it's the same author
speaking to a different audience.

He's writing to the Corinthians because
they are struggling with sexual temptation.

He's trying to explain that love
is something more than sexual.

So his intention is clear,
he's trying to talk about sexual moderation.

But if you notice, Paul is fired up again.

Four of the five things he mentions
are against homosexuality.

I genuinely believe he's covering
a lot of guilt and shame with these letters.

Do you think he was...

A homosexual? Who knows...

Perhaps.

I can assure you one thing.

He was a human being. A man...

Full of desires, like any other.

Paul doesn't want Timothy
to struggle like he does.

Why doesn't anybody know this, father?

Because people believe
in what they want to believe.

We don't see the world as it is,
we see the world as we are.

In Romans, Paul is describing to the church
in Rome, the formation of the world.

And sex as a gift from God was perverted

to be more than an act between a man and a woman.

And in Paul's mind,
this is something that angers God.

I find it incredibly interesting.

He speaks so surely about something
Jesus never mentioned.

Never.

It seems like something personal.

Did you love your son?

More than anything in the world.

Hell is believed to be the absence of love.

Your son was loved.

And he also loved.

He liked to eat six to seven times a day.
His diet was sacred for him.

But he loved Asian food sushi,
and especially anything sweet and sour.

I love sweet and sour.

He learned how to use chopsticks here.

He used to order the pineapple shrimp.
He loved seafood.

Gabriel worked here for a while
before he started doing catering.

I think some of his friends still work here.

My dad thinks everyone should behave like him.

If he wakes up at 6am, everyone should be up
at that time or else they are lazy bums.

If he decides he's going to eat chicken,
everyone has to eat chicken.

Just follow my lead...

My old cellphone.

Water for the table is fine.

Just water for the table.

Does he have a boy friend?

Did he know Gabriel, from Bolivia?

You know, I hear you talking about him.

About the things he said and did...

But I can't picture my son.

All I can picture is a version of him
that I don't recognize.

My father knows I'm gay and everything.

But I noticed he got really nervous when I brought
a boyfriend who was taller or older.

But he was the nicest when my boyfriend
was shorter or younger than me.

He thought if I was taller,
I was the man in the relationship.

That was fascinating to me.

You're seeing your son through your
own idea of him, through your own experience.

Only when you let go of those ideas,

you'll see your son for the first time.

I'm exhausted. Can we continue tomorrow?

Sure. You know how to get to your hotel?

Yes.

I saw the last conversation he had with you.

Was Gabriel a seven?

What side is the right one?

I don't understand how you can be afraid
of holding hands with a man,

and yet singing Shakira out loud
doesn't embarrass you.

Is this gay? What's gay about it?

Close your eyes.

My eyes.

Give me your hand. Keep your eyes shut.

And...

Open them.

A little heart?

This is Bolivian rosewood,
the most resistant wood in the world.

No matter what happens,
how old we are and even after we die...

As long as you have it, my heart will be yours.

I'm going to play a song.

What happened?

Are you OK?

Did you come often with Gabriel here?

No much really. He didn't like drag queens.

What?

I don't like drag queens!

Why not?

I don't know. I don't understand it. I like
masculine men, not men who want to be women.

I don't get it.

Maybe you feel uncomfortable because

- you're insecure about your own masculinity.
- Why do you say that?

Do you think I'm effeminate? Can you tell?

No, all I'm saying is that
repressed homophobia is very common.

I'm not repressing anything.

Then relax and enjoy.

You're not John Wayne.

Who?

Sebastian the towers are here.

Perfect, please tell Gabriels
2 and 3 to get ready.

Perfect, the internet is running fine...

We had a Skype call with NY yesterday.

Let's hope the internet doesn't collapse
with all the people here.

By the way, the theater asked for an advance
payment to let us come in and set it up.

What? That's not what we agreed.

I just paid it from my pocket.
We'll figure it out,

but at this point we have no sponsors,
not a single one.

And the Secretary of Culture?

They called me last minute and pulled out
the funds. Culture is not a priority here...

And I need to send posters, tickets and invites
to print today or there will be no press.

Let's charge double.

What? That'd be suicide! Nobody goes
to the theater let alone if we charge more.

They will come.

I thought you had left.

You have to understand
that all this very hard for me.

Thanks for doing this.

You know... Gabriel spoke often about you.

That you used to sing him Frank Sinatra songs
when he was little...

Elvis Presley.

Did he remember?

Yes.

I'm hungry... Is there anything close by?

How can you guys do this?
It's exhausting.

So many rules and categories...
I feel like I'm constantly being tested.

I was invisible at that bar,
nobody even looked at me.

What's that?

It's Gabriel's phone.

You know what? I thought I could walk away
and keep it to myself but that's not right.

Ever since your son entered my life
I had to lie...

for him, for us because this is
what you people do in Bolivia.

You force your children to lie
from early on because

you need to lie to survive in that country.

It gets to a point where you believe
in all those lies and that's death!

I'm not done.

You wanted the truth? You wanted answers?

Your son was a professional liar.

His ex-boyfriend cheated on him
with everyone and he learned it from him.

No wonder he didn't believe in love.

They're so afraid of not finding love
that everything is reduced to sex.

But sex doesn't fill the void left by fear.

Mom, he's my roommate.
He has a boyfriend, I already told you.

What photo?

No! What...?

What did you see?

What will I do over there?

Ma, I told you.
That has nothing to do with... Mom?

Why do you have to post everything on Facebook?

I asked to keep up discreet.
Why do you need everyone to know?

What happened? That she talked to my dad
and wants me to return to Bolivia. Now.

Did you agree?

Can't you understand family is not like yours?

There is no arguing with my father!

Calm down. Let's think this through.

I think is better if we end this.

I think is better if we end this.
Don't touch me!

I think it's better that we break up.

What?

We can be roommates until my family calms down.
But nothing more.

Do you think this is going to solve anything?
This is one shitty deal.

They're manipulating you.

I've got no other choice.

They think that I'm the one to blame
because you keep denying it.

Life is finally giving you a chance to be honest.
To tell them the truth.

Tell them you have a man you love,
who loves you back. That you're happy and safe.

You'll never tell them, will you?

Tell them to come here and meet me.
They should see us together.

My mother has cancer.

They just discovered a tumor.

They're still not sure, but she says
it's a punishment from God.

For failing as a mother.
And I don't plan on living with that.

- My father would kill you if he...
- All right, calm down.

As long as you're here with me
your mother won't listen.

I think you best option is
to go visit your sister. Tell her the truth.

I'll help you. If you want, I can talk with her.

I'll wait for you for as long as it takes.
You have my support and my love.

We can talk on the phone, whatever you need.

You're not alone in this.
We're in this together, remember?

You know what, maybe I'll marry a woman
instead and live a normal life.

I've always wanted to be a father after all.

This is unfair, Gabriel. Fucking hell.

I need to be alone for a bit.

Are you OK?

Yes, I'm fine, yes.

Look.

He's beautiful.

I used to kiss him goodnight every night.

And one day he must have been eight...
He asked me to stop.

I'm guessing he was embarrassed.

He was like a little man...

So fixed in his ways.

I'm leaving tomorrow...

and I feel that I've failed.

That depends.

Why did you come here?

I don't know.

I came to take back my son.

I don't know, it feels so strange.

As if I was missing something...

You know, in French they don't say
"I miss you". They say "Tu me manques".

I miss you in me.

As if an essential part of the other
is absent in you.

Tu me manques.

I prefer that. It's like you're missing an organ,
a limb, or your own blood.

How curious, I had this same conversation
with your son.

Were you friends with him?

They came to me when your wife
asked him to return to Bolivia.

I said: "Tell them the truth!
The truth shall set you free!", says the Bible.

And sex is part of our existence.

He was afraid you wouldn't accept it.

But I told him: "Never say from this water
I won't drink, this priest is not my father

and this dick won't fit."

He laughed and laughed with that...
beautiful laughter of his.

Speak to him. Tell him that you love him.

I think it's best that you erase
all of our Instagram photos.

Just in case.

Are you deleting me from Facebook too?

My mom has several Facebook accounts.
She's always checking up on me.

We can make fake profiles...
our names can be coded. Please.

So we can stay in touch in case something happens.

Maybe.

We're all looking for our place in the world
and your son found it here.

Come in, come in. I'll bring you a glass of water.

You have a daughter?

Yes.

My daughter was born a boy.

Luckily I found that out in time

so that I could help her.

But she died too soon from lupus.
She was twenty-two.

Sit down, please.

My daughter was passionate
about theater and dance.

She dreamed about coming to Broadway.

That's why after she died
I decided to live here in New York.

I feel closer to her here.

That's when I met Alonso and Sebastian.
I adopted them. My boys...

You know, my daughter really liked
"Life is a Dream"

and she said I was her Rosaura
because I helped to free her from her prison.

That way, when I arrived here and people asked
"What's your name?" I said "Rosaura"

Without hesitation.

And so I became Rosaura.

I dream that I am here

by these goals burdened.

And I dreamed that in another condition
happier I saw myself.

What is life?

A frenzy.

What is life?

An illusion,

a shadow, a fiction.

And the greatest good puny is;

for life entire is a dream,

and the dreams...

...nothing but dreams are.

Your son came out of the closet
and told your daughter before leaving for Miami.

Did you know?

No.

He recorded the entire conversation
and sent it to Sebas. Poor by was devastated.

But, I didn't find anything.

He probably delete it. But Sebas sent me a copy.

Could I listen to it?

Yes. Just please don't tell Sebastian, eh?
He would feel betrayed.

- No, of course. Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

Let's see, try on this jacket.
I want to see how it fits you.

Come on.

I made it myself.

Of all human emotions, hope is the only one
that doesn't belong to us.

It springs from life itself.
It's life fighting back.

But look how dashing you look!
It fits you perfectly.

I feel very strange.

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

Hey guys, I'd like to introduce you to Daniel,
a new member of our cast.

Hello!

Welcome Daniel.

He'll be in the back.

Manuel, you can come forward
and can go over there with Alejandro.

Please show him the choreography.

You're over here...

Edu! Come here, please.

- We're missing Pipo.
- What happened?

Someone hit him.

They found out in his neighborhood
that he's in the play.

- Where's he now?
- He's at home, he's embarrassed.

Brenda, please go get Pipo and take him
to the emergency room. Call me when you're there.

Where's Rodrigo?

- There's something else I have to tell you.
- What?

His wife is having the baby today.

- Are you kidding?
- Today.

Sebas one more thing.

The gay members of the cast decided
to come out after the premiere tonight.

- They are very nervous.
- How many?

I don't know, more than half.

- Give them a word.
- OK, thanks.

Sit down.

Why?

- Just sit down.
- I'd rather stay standing.

- Are you in a hurry?
- No, why?

Okay.

I don't know what to say or where to begin.

I'm just going to speak and hope it flows well.

I wanted to thank you for being so supportive
and for having me here.

Sorry. I'm a little nervous.

Don't worry, just let it all out.

- You are my big sister and I love you very much.
- Of course. We're family.

Yes. We're family.

It's just that...

I'm drowning.

Well, just take one step at a time.

Take deep breaths and...

It's tough.

Don't be afraid.
I'm fine and I'm happy to be here.

I love my niece and the next one is on the way.

I've wanted to tell you this for a while.

I just couldn't figure out when or where.

Maybe this isn't the best moment,
but I can't take this anymore.

I imagine you're noticed something... about me.

No.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't even know where to start.

You probably already noticed,
but I never had the courage to tell you.

But I have to do it.

Because otherwise the days fly by
and I keep in drowning, you know?

And I want you to be the first one
in the family to know.

Well, whatever it is I'll support you.

Really?

It's really hard. I can't...

Maybe this isn't the right moment.
If you don't trust me...

Yes, I trust you. I trust you. It's just...

I feel that you already noticed that...

That...

That I'm not straight.

Do you get it?

I ignored it for many years but
I kept on drowning and drowning.

Until couldn't breathe anymore.

I thought that if I ignored it, it would go away.

But the deeper you dig it,
the stronger it comes right out.

It's so hard. I don't wish it upon anyone.
Not even my worst enemy.

Mom caught up on it several times
but she feigned ignorance.

I denied it over and over.

At least I feel like I can breathe a little now.

Do you feel less pressured?

I don't know, say something. I'm still shaking.

I feel strange, I feel ridiculous, I'm...

Well, you'll always be my little brother...

It's never been something
I wanted for myself, believe me.

Of course, it's not something you choose.

Look, let's take things step by step.
You can count on me.

I appreciate your trust in me.

Thank you... Can I hug you?

- You know I'm still the same person, right?
- Of course. Nothing's changed.

Look...

with these things, it's better to let them out.
And what you're doing requires lots of courage.

- This speaks volumes about your character.
- Thank you.

I feel...

Yesterday at the restaurant I saw you alone and...

That's why I invited you for a coffee.

I was looking for a good opportunity
but there were lots of Latinos around...

I have so much to tell you...
I just needed to start with this.

At least now we have time.
And time is exactly what I need.

You have no idea...
The amount of pressure is immense.

I've opened up completely to you, however...

I'm not ready to tell everyone.

And maybe one day I'll tell mom and dad.

Listen. Take your time.

You already took the first step and well.

I'll keep your secret.
You're secret's safe with me.

Thank you.

- Can I give you another hug?
- Of course.

I love you.

I have so much to tell you.

Well. What's for dinner?

Fish.

- I'll help you with the salad.
- Okay.

Taray and Jesse found a new place in the city.
They had it planned for a while.

- I have until next month to leave this place.
- That's wonderful, love.

This is life giving you a chance to let him go.

I can't leave this place.

It's all I have left of Gabriel.

My apologies. The door was open.

What are you doing here?

Leave!

I've found a few things...

And I'd like give them to you...

Here.

He had a blonde wig.

Gabriel had never celebrated Halloween
in the States.

TJ convinced us to dress up
like Piquet and Shakira.

It's all yours.

It's where it rightfully belongs.

Bro, I can't do this without you.

I'll be with you over the phone. I promise.

Wait a second.

There are no signs of internal bleeding.
He wants do it.

Are you sure?

Please bring the makeup team to cover up
these gashes and help him get dressed.

You're not alone, OK? We're family from now on.

Do you know who did this to you?

Okay, no worries. We'll take care of this later.

All of this energy, all of this emotion,
this impotence, this frustration...

leave it outside. OK?

Let's go.

Sebas?

Doors close in fifteen minutes. Go!

OK.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Honestly, thank you.

You've changed my life
and the lives of those guys in the stage.

Now go and rock their soul to the core!
Good luck! A big hug!

I'll take care of it now.
Focus on your role as an actor.

Listen to what he says and try to see
his humanity and pain behind the anger.

Now go be with your cast
and give them all you've got.

This is no longer your story.
It belongs to the people behind those curtains.

You're free.

Free!

It's time.

Tonight, we dedicate this to the truth.

Tonight, we have a voice and something to say.

Tonight we do this for our loved ones.

And for those who are no longer with us.

Tonight, well tell the world: "We're alive."

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Something I think I never really understood
why you broke up with me.

I told you, handsome...
I'm not the right person for you.

- I couldn't give you the relationship you wanted.
- Why not?

Because I didn't want to hurt you.

Because of my fear.

What kind of relationship do you want?
We loved each other so much...

Something more discreet.
You helped me a lot but it was all going too fast.

I know. That was my mistake.

But it was a mistake born from love.
Never forget that.

I know.

I fell in love with you.

I fell in love with you too.

But it would be impossible.

Thank you for getting back to me.

I love you more than you think. Mene malo.

Thank you, papi churro.

I had already imagined a life with you.

I would've liked that.

Why did you give up so easily then?

Because I'm a coward.

You have a different mindset. Other opportunities.

My family...

will never accept it.

How will you live your life?

I'm fine like this. I'd rather be alone.

Will you be alone for the rest of your life?

I don' want to be a burden to anyone.

I'll just vanish.

No! Don't think like that.

I miss sleeping on your chest.

I mean, when you'd let me sleep.

I miss your face on my chest too.

On our sixth month anniversary
you were doing so well, you were so confident.

It's so nice to sleep like that...

You should be able to do that forever.
With whomever you want.

Oh well... Hopefully one day.

And they will think an angel passed by.

And there will be a moment of silence.

Can you please delete our Instagram pictures?

All of them? What if I forget your face?

OK, now I really have to go.

I love you.

Good night.

Sweet dreams, handsome.

You know, all my life I've been trying
to prove to everyone how strong I am

and that I don't need anybody's help.

Sometimes all a father wants
is for his child to need him.

Thank you for everything.

You're a good kid.

And you're surrounded by good people.

One last thing...

Why "Papi Chulo"?

He loved Reggaeton music and...

You know what, there are a few things
I'd rather keep to myself.

Tell me, is it true you've deleted
all your Instagram pictures, like he asked?

Can I see them?

It will be our secret.

No more secrets, please.

What one hides is usually
their most valuable thing.

I miss you so much.

I don't know if there's a heaven
or a great beyond.

You know this better than I do.

You always knew more than I did.

All I know is that I wish I had told you
how much I love you.

And that I didn't have enough time to tell you.

We missed you so much
during the birth of Tanya's daughter.

Your niece.

Her name is Sofia.

And she's just like you.

She has your sad little eyes.

Valerita asks about you all the time.

All the time.

We told her...

you're traveling.

I don't know if she will remember you.

I hope she does.

I regret how long it took me to...

Understand you.

And to tell you...

that I love you without conditions.

You were always the best of us all.

And you did the impossible
to be at peace with everyone.

But I forgot to ask you... if you were happy.

Forgive me.

With that as with many other things.

I've failed.

Forgive me...

for not being...

your friend, you ally

your partner.

I wish I could hug you again.

And tell you that I love you

and that I miss you.

How I miss you!

My mistakes now wound me.

It hurts to have lost my only son

and to know that my granddaughters
will miss out on a wonderful uncle.

I wish I could kiss you good night

like when you were eight.

I know that you don't like it.

But from now on I will do it every night.

For as long as I live.

I have so much to say.

And it's all coming out at once.

But not today. Today...

I'm exhausted.

And you are probably...

tired too.

Sweet dreams.

Puppy dog.

- Congratulations again.
- Thank you.

Excuse me.

Yes?

You know, when I was 9 my mom took me
to the theater for the first time.

We went to see Pinocchio.

Since I saw you I knew I wanted work with theater,
and I dreamed about working with you one day.

- I'm indebted to you.
- No, no, please, there's no debt.

I'm the one who's thankful.

Someday we'll look back and say: "We were there."

Thank you.