All language subtitles for Southern Charm S08E09 Auldbrass Glitters is Not Gold 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

Previously, on "Southern Charm"...

Do you wanna move past this?

We've just had
a lot of issues.

It's hard to not lose
a little bit of momentum.

While Kat and Chleb weren't planning a trip

to the altar anytime soon,

there were wedding bells ringing.

["Bridal Chorus"]

[laughter]

♪

Craig.
It's just a wedding.

You can always get a divorce.

Shep! - Yup, Shep's dog

got married before him,

putting everyone in the mood for love

except the best man,

who wasn't thrilled

that his ex was maid of honor.

Who would have ever
thought we'd see Madison

and Austen at the altar?

♪ Times have changed don't you know ♪

♪ Don't you know

And to add insult to injury...

Who is that?

It's Olivia's date. [dramatic music]

Which put Austen in the mood for revenge.

♪ He's got more honeys than any honey bee ♪

Meanwhile, I decided to find out

why Craig was being so moody.

Do you wanna chat
like, quickly, casually?

- I'll give you guys--
- About what?

Well, I can't tell
you until we chat.

And let's just say, I should have let sleeping dogs lie.

When I was in your position--

No, you were never
in my position.

You left a loving
relationship to be

with a controlling asshole
who cheated on you.

Honestly, Naomie, you don't,
like, affect my life anymore.

You just don't.

♪ It's easy as making you think that you love me ♪

♪ Mm-hmm

[upbeat music]

♪

Craig.

Craig still has
his tuxedo on.

That is the mark
of a good night.

That's really cute, honey.

Hey, you got a stain on your
white pants already, baby.

Why you gotta call me out
all the time?

Because you can't
keep nothing clean.

You know what,
Chleb, I'm not even

gonna go here with you...

♪

Oh, man.

This is never gonna shut.

Yeah, it's really hard.
[laughs]

It's a lot of boots that
I didn't wear 'cause you guys

don't have seasons.
- [laughs]

Sh--, I broke my nail.

I know you'll be
happy to get home

to New York for a little bit.
- Yeah.

I'll send you videos
from this weekend.

It should be funny.

Where are you even going?

It's like, one of
Boykin's friend's house.

My friend owns one
of the most beautiful,

incredible farms near Buford.

He won't be there,
but he's given me

full run of the house.
- Wow.

Will Naomie be there?

Naomie being there
doesn't affect me at all.

Look, like,
I trust you so much.

It's her that I don't trust.

If you're at this, like,
overnight fun trip,

and she pulls you
aside again to have

like, a one-on-one
conversation, like,

I think that's inappropriate.

- Yeah.
- That was a calculating move

on her part.

To pull you aside at
an event that I'm at?

No, I know.

I wouldn't even have
the balls to do that.

Trust me, everyone sees it.

The fact that she
even had the nerve

to be like, "Hey, come here
for a second," is crazy to me.

You love finding girls
who, like, linger.

If we ever broke up,
you'd never see me again.

Wow.

I need to get back to New York,

where people like,
tell you to [BLEEP] off

to your face
and not behind your back.

[both laugh]

[upbeat music]

♪

[doorbell dings]

[yawns]

[light music]

[doorbell dings]

♪

I'm freezing.

♪

Ugh.

Just come in!

[doorbell dinging]

[groans]

Why do you ring the doorbell,
you weirdo?

[both laugh]

Hi.
- Are you OK?

- Ugh.
- [laughs]

I thought I was bad.
- I have the worst hangover.

It's so bad, Leva.

Do you want
a water or a coffee?

I need a coffee.

I need a coffee,
for real, for real.

Cat mug? Here.

- Thank you, my love.
- You're welcome.

I need this so bad.

OK, yeah, so you feel fine?

Yeah, I don't know
why I'm not hurting.

I look exactly how I feel.
[both laugh]

Why did everybody get so
drunk at a dog wedding?

Thank you.

- Thank you so much.
- What are you drinking,

champagne?
That's what I would like.

Oh, my God, cheers!

[overlapping chatter]

Oh, my God.

Cheers to that.

[phone ringing]
- This is--

- Sorry.
- You keep your phone on loud

like an old person.
- Yeah, I am an old person.

It's like an old person ringtone.

That's what I am.
I'm an old mom.

In your mom bag.

It's Austen calling me.

Hi. - Hey.

Hold on.
I'm here with Naomie.

- Hi.
- You're on speaker.

- Ooh.
- What are you doing?

[both laugh]

- Austen, I love you.
- We're right there

with you, Austen.
- We're right there with you.

Did you after-party anywhere?

Ciara?

Did you and Ciara
have a rendezvous?

[both laugh]

That's all I need
to know, Austen.

I had met Ciara in Vermont.

You're cute.

I spent time with her in
the Hamptons this past summer.

And she was in Charleston.

You know, we ended
up going out.

And one thing led to another.

[laughs]

What if Olivia
didn't have a date?

Would you be hanging
out with Ciara?

So wait, so it was because
you were mad at Olivia?

Mm-hmm.

It's sad. Yeah.

So I don't think, like, all
is lost with you and Olivia.

If that's something
you want to pursue,

you just need to,
like, tell her.

I think you should.

Austen, why do you
do this to yourself?

Some people just want to,

like, get kicked in the nuts and be sad.

I'm just like--

Oh, my God, speaking
of the dog wedding,

I didn't tell you.

But right after,
I did kiss Whitney.

[gasping]

Oh, my God! What?

- Did you like it?
- Yeah, it was fun.

Were you always
attracted to Whitney?

Like, did it just happen?
Were you guys drunk?

Do you like each other?
Like, did you think

he looked hot yesterday?

Why?
Why, why, why?

And how?

It's Whitney, you know?

It's--it's--it's Whitney.

- I mean--
- It was only a make-out?

- I don't know.
- Was it more?

He spent the night here.

What? - [laughs]

You were, like,
spooning with Whitney,

and you didn't even
- ing tell me?

No. - I'm sure he, like,

doesn't take his socks off, maybe.

I imagine him saying,
like, you know,

"baby," in like, a weird way.

Like, "Oh, yeah, baby."

And he was like,
"We need to breed."

I was like, "Breed?"

I mean, Patricia would
like, literally die.

He was like,
"Mom would love it."

"Mom would love it!"

- Whitney is gonna
- ing kill me.

Don't tell anyone.
- I definitely won't tell.

But I can't, like,
hide on my face.

People are gonna figure
it out immediately

'cause you two are gonna
be like--

- 'Cause we're so stupid.
- Yeah.

I just got excited
about the group trip.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

Coming up...

You'll never hear
Madison say sorry to you.

- No, never.
- 'Cause she doesn't think

she's doing anything wrong.

And I hope you're not
texting Madison

every single thing that we say.

You wanna see it?

[upbeat music]

I had makeup and stuff here.

So where did it go?

Can you please tell me
where you put my makeup?

You did throw it out 'cause
you don't like me wearing it.

Nuh-uh. Uh-uh.

Yes, you did.

Oh, it's in here.
[laughs]

Are you really bringing your
basketball shoes like you're

gonna actually play?

I'm bringing
my basketball shorts.

I'm bringing my jersey.

OK, well, do we wanna
call Whitney and ask him

what the attire is?
- Yeah, sure.

I kinda need to
repack some things.

[line trilling]

- Hello.
- Whitney.

[laughs]

Yeah, buddy.
Me and Taylor are here.

[laughs]
- I will.

Did you really
invite everybody?

Can't wait, buddy.
All right, cheers.

Bye, Whitney.

Oh.

- All right.
- Get off of me.

But you're holding me down.

- I know.
- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

All right.

OK, what to pack?

Shoes.

All right, and then,
in case we go hunting.

It might be fun.

I'm stoked. Ooh!

Are you going to
be good while Mommy

goes and comes back?

Me a big boy.

Oh, you're a big boy,
so you should stay

by yourself while Mommy goes?
- Yeah.

♪

- [laughs]
- Taylor.

That's what happens when
you pack like

you're going
on a month-long vacation.

Ah! OK.

Oh, my God.

- Venita!
- Hello.

- Hey, Venita.
- Hey.

[laughter]

Wow! This is a big bus.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.

How are you?
Good to see you.

How is everybody?

- You're warm and comfy.
- Does everyone feel--

I know.
- Good morning.

Whoa, this is big enough

for a wedding reception.

What's up?

I'll let the boys
sit all together.

Hi, how's it going?
- Good to see ya.

- Good to see you.
- Hey, you.

Hi!

Long time no see.

I don't get a lap hug?
[laughter]

Oh, my God.
I'm so bad at those hugs.

Hello, you!

[lightly tense music]
- How are you?

Good, how are you?

♪

I mean, at this point,
it's awkward.

And we haven't even
left the parking lot.

- Hello.
- Marcie!

- Marcie!
- Look at this--

- Marcie!
- Hey.

Party's here.

Oh, boy.

Hey, guys!

- Party's here, huh?
- Hey, Craig.

No Paige?

She had to head back
to New York.

- Hi, hi, hi.
- Good morning.

- Hey!
- What up?

- Morning.
- Good morning.

- Good morning, good morning.
- Good morning!

- Good morning.
- Hi, good morning.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

Good.

Just because Naomie is hanging out with my friends,

I'm not gonna stop hanging out.

I'm not gonna stop having fun

because I know my boundaries.

I'm good.

It's not normal to hang out with your ex-girlfriend.

You've got seven other
people to talk to.

Don't talk to me.

I'm a grown adult.
I'm gonna say hi.

But I mean, I think the boundaries are clear.

I'm gonna go mind
my own business.

You mind yours.
I will be nice.

And that's it.

So is Whitney coming with us?

He's already there.

Oh, that's annoying.

He went there last night

just to make sure--
that every--

I mean, there's like, a
big staff there and stuff.

- Really?
- Oh yeah.

Tell me about this place.

Frank Lloyd Wright,
he's probably America's

most famous architect.

He designed this house.

And then Whitney's friend came
in and bought it in the '80's.

- What?
- Wow.

And he restored it.

And when I was there last,
like, we had a dinner,

and catered the whole thing.

Like, they take care
of you big time.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen.

We have about an hour
and 15 minute ride.

And if you're all ready
to go, we'll head out.

We don't have to
wait for Kathryn?

- Wait.
- I think Kathryn

is supposed to be coming.
- Chleb.

Yeah, I was texting
her not that long ago.

She's coming.

It's gonna be
kinda cold out there.

We gotta pack
some warm clothes.

- Yeah.
- Nice sh-- you're bringing.

[sighs]

It's kinda weird that
we're going on a group trip.

[tense music]

I feel like our relationship

has taken a turn really fast.

And we didn't even realize it.

I do agree with you.
We are in a very weird place.

I think the outside drama
just created more tension,

which it shouldn't have.

- I've talked to Venita.
- You are not loyal.

Yo, you trippin'.

Being around her
is ----ing just--

I don't know.

Why are you dating her then?

Your deal should have
been shutting it down

if someone talked negatively
about me,

not just listening
because you're a good guy.

I just feel like
we've been fighting so much,

maybe, like, we should
definitely just take a break.

I think--yeah, I think
it's best for us just to...

just be friends.

[tense music]

Yeah.

I'm really regretting getting back together with Chleb

because I think it was
a weak move of mine

because it's better to be alone

than with someone you
can't trust.

I'm just gonna leave, OK?

- Yeah, you should.
- All right.

♪

- All right, well, Shep, you--
- Do we wanna call?

- I'll call her.
- Yeah.

All right, one second,
Mr. Paul, If you don't mind.

- Sure.
- Sorry.

- No, not at all.
- Thanks, Paul.

[line trilling]

No answer?

I talked to her literally
a couple hours ago.

And she was coming.

So something had
to just change.

That's why I think something
happened this morning.

- Yeah.
- Huh.

OK, so what are we doing?
[phone chimes]

OK. "Hi, I'm not
coming on the trip.

"Sorry I missed your call.
I hope you guys have fun.

"Chleb and I aren't in
a good place right now.

And I don't think it's
a good idea for us to go."

Y'all, we got to
get this bus moving.

All right, Paul.
Let's do this.

OK.

[upbeat music]

Now we're cookin'.
Now we're cookin'.

How's little Craig
enjoying married life?

They're spending some time
apart, like Chleb and Kathryn.

[laughter]

Where's your date?

- Where's my date?
- Yeah.

Oh, he's not coming.

But he was super fun.
I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I'm sure you did.

Are you jealous?

A little bit.

I was on the altar
with my ----in' ex.

[laughter]

And that's why I had a date.

[laughter]

Like, why would
I willingly wanna be

in the room with an ex
who treated me horribly?

I generally have more fun when
I don't have to see her face.

But you'll never hear
Madison say sorry to you.

- No, never.
- Because she doesn't think

she's doing anything wrong.
- No, no, no.

She's like, "What? I was just
telling everyone

how big of a pussy he was."

Yeah, I know.
[laughter]

It's like, no,
that's not a joke.

That's mean.

If I was her fiancé,
and I heard,

like, the girl that I proposed
to still taunting her ex...

- Yes!
- I would be

really freaked out.
- Or be, like,

why can't you just be nice?

- Yes.
- Yeah, exactly.

And I hope you're not texting
Madison every single thing

that we're saying.

Nope.

I just hope not.

- You wanna see it?
- Nope.

OK.

No, 'cause I don't
roll that way.

Coming up...

Why don't we escort
you to your rooms?

Amazing!

LOL, she gets
to pick her room.

If you prefer this
room better, actually.

Wait, I want my own room.

There's another here, Naomie,
you can see if you like better.

- OK.
- [laughs]

That's hilarious.

[upbeat music]

♪

Are we here?

♪

Oh, my God, dude.

- This is it.
- We're here!

- Ooh!
- Wow!

Ooh!

- Wow.
- Ooh!

- Oh, my gosh, wow.
- You guys ready?

Look at this.
- All right!

This is beautiful.

[laughter]

Sick dismount, dude.

Yeah, that was good.

- Hello.
- Ah, Whitney!

- Ooh!
- Whitney!

- 'Sup, brother?
- Hey, bro.

- Hey, bro.
- Hey, Whitney.

- Hey.
- This is beautiful.

- Hey, hon.
- How are you?

- How are you?
- How are you?

I'm still shocked.

It's kinda like finding out,
like, your cousins

are hooking up.

All right, y'all, we're
gonna give a little tour.

- Whoa.
- Look at this!

Come on in.

I'll give you more of
the sense of the tour.

Is that real?

So this is a Frank
Lloyd Wright house.

And Frank Lloyd Wright
is probably

America's greatest architect.

He built this in 1941.

Basically,
you see the style here

called organic architecture.

- This is literally amazing.
- Yeah.

I'm into it.

1986, it's about
to be bulldozed.

And then my friend saved it,

and restored
it to its natural splendor.

This house is perfectly set
up for Whitney's aesthetic,

'70's porno house.

Master bedroom,
this is where I'm staying.

- This is amazing.
- That is so cool.

So did he decorate it,
Whitney?

The furniture
is Frank Lloyd Wright.

Cool.

Why don't we escort
you to your rooms?

OK.

All right, let's go.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my gosh, this
is just so pretty.

So we've kind of determined
the sleeping arrangements.

Venita and Leva.
- Thank you, darling.

- We have your suite here.
- Oh, my God. It's so cute.

Wow, amazing!

Marcie, you guys
are in the cottage.

- Wow!
- I love it.

This is great.

Austen and Craig.

Dude, this is--wait, are
we getting punked right now?

Whitney did something nice?
Look at this.

- Yeah, mother----er!
- Whitney, you're a mensch.

For you two.

Olivia, you're
joining them as well.

- Oh, boy, all right!
- We get Olivia!

Let's go!

- Look at this.
- Oh, my God.

- Two bathrooms, two bedrooms.
- Oh, nice.

Oh, it's so cute!

- Sweet.
- Ours is so cool.

Naomie, I'm saving
the best for last for you.

It's the pièce de résistance,
King-sized.

Amazing.

Yeah, it's your own room.

Beautiful.

Yeah, see?

Wait, I want my own room.

Can I get my own room?

If you prefer this
room better, actually.

This might be a little
more private and suitable.

I don't care.

LOL, she gets
to pick her room.

- [coughs]
- That's hilarious.

Oh, my God.
[laughs]

Oh, my God.

- It's bigger and less--
- Twist my arm, Whitney.

- OK.
- Mm!

I'm, like, trying so hard not to look at Leva.

I'm trying.

I'm trying here.

There's another
one here, Naomie,

you can see if you like better.

OK.
[laughter]

I mean, a secret like this?
24 hours.

That's the grace period.

But I already told Shep and Taylor.

[laughs]

OK fine, it's a 12-hour
grace period.

We have a whole sundry
list of activities.

We've got some ATVs lined up,
and some horseback riding.

Chill for a bit.

Get changed.
Anyway--

Thanks for having us,
Whitney!

- Yeah, thank you.
- Thank you so much.

It's gonna be fun.
30 minutes, meet for lunch.

[upbeat music]

I love this place.
It's awesome.

Here, I'll grab
your bag real quick.

I'm so glad
you're here with me.

I know.

Craig, you and
I can literally

just high five each other
through the--where are you?

Craig, where?

Do it again.

Put your hand out.

Now put the palm.

I can feel you.

Put your hand up!

- It's up!
- Hold on.

Let's get changed.

Our stuff has arriven.

Three's company.

Oh, no, there's a lizard!

Hey, lizard patrol.
- Really?

You got it.

Oh my gosh, it's a big one.

- Yes, it is.
- Ahh!

- How big?
- He's really big.

- Ahh!
- Oh, my God!

- Shep, get it.
- I'm not good at it.

He's actually kind of big.

I'm not good at serpents.

I like the wilderness.

I just don't want
the wilderness on me.

Here. Taylor?

Put it in the cup.

What?

Do it.

Oh, he's too big
to fit in the cup.

No, he's not.

Oh, no, I'm
going to kill him.

I'm scared.
- You're not going to kill him.

You're not.
Just put him in the cup.

- Come on, buddy.
- Put him in the cup.

Ahh!

Oh, God!
Oh, my God!

It's huge.

OK, you got him.

- I got the door.
- You got him.

- He crawled right in.
- She got him.

- Thank you so much.
- I told you you could do it.

Oh, my God!

What's in here?

- Gift bags.
- Oh, look at this!

- Whoa.
- Dude, I got a book!

This is really, really cool.

Austen, did you open it?

What is this,
dill pickle peanuts?

Interesting.

Try your peanuts.

Well, I guess it looks like
the cat's out of the bag.

Whitney is like,
assigning rooms.

And with Naomie,
he was like,

"Oh, which bedroom
do you want now?"

I heard all that.
I just didn't understand it.

"Do you want to take this
bedroom or that bedroom?"

Huh.

Yeah.

Did they hook up?

That's the word
on the street.

I heard it from Austen.

This is nice.

I guess I don't need a bag,
right?

I don't think so.

You're horseback riding.

- Nuh-uh, ATV-ing.
- Oh, you're ATV-ing.

- Yeah, ATV-ing.
- Me too.

♪

Lunch, OK.

- Whit!
- Hey, man.

How's it going?

Yeah, just a little
kind of buffet.

This looks wonderful.

Sandwiches, wraps, pickles.

- Chicken salad.
- Salad.

Hi!
This looks amazing.

Did you cook this?

Thank Mr. Randy here.

Thank you, Mr. Randy.

- Thank you.
- Help yourself.

Make a plate.

Sit wherever you want.

Napkins, chips.

OK.

Wow.

Dude, I'm psyched.

I just swiped
Austen's seat, sure.

We can separate sometimes.

All right, Marcie,
what are you gonna do?

I think I'm going to just
go walk around the pond.

I don't know.
- What's Sean gonna do?

ATVs with us?
- Poor Marcie. Well--

- ATV.
- Yeah.

But I might stay back
with my pregnant wife.

I feel bad.

I haven't talked to Austen
since the dog wedding.

Really?

This is the first time
I'm seeing him this season.

Is that because--was that
your date that was there?

Olivia, he's so cute.

Hey!
[laughter]

I'm a fan.

Austen jumped to all
kinds of conclusions.

OK, you're horse.
And you're horse.

And you're ATV?

- Are you horsing with us?
- No.

I see people
like you and Naomie

always have it figured out.

Kind of.

But like, Madison is just,
like, a different kind of ex.

Austen says he can't be
in the same room as her.

And I turned over
at the wedding.

And they're in
the corner together.

And I'm like, wow.
- Yeah.

Real struggle
over there, huh?

With him, we have to be like,
look, this is ----ing crazy.

It's crazy.

I adore him.

But I'm not gonna
be sticking around

trying to figure out
that weird--

it's weird!
- Yeah.

Coming up...

So I don't know
if you know this.

But Austen hung out with Ciara.

Hold on. [dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

Whoo!

I have the second
one to the left.

I don't think I've
ever worn a helmet.

Like, how do you do this?

I feel like it's too small.

I'm stealing this.

Do you know how to write
a manual four-wheeler?

Yeah.

Austen, you know how
to drive this, right?

- Yeah.
- Y'all ready?

Please, I have a child.

Whoo! [rock music]

All right, saddle up,
little pony!

Whoo!

Oh, my God!

Yay, freedom!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Yeah, boys!

Does this go faster?

- Hi!
- Hello, there!

- How are you doing?
- Welcome, welcome.

I'm Rick.
This is Tammy.

Hi, guys.

Who's the most experienced?

I'm just wanting
to decide which

horses to put each of you on.
- Yeah.

So you're the
most experienced.

And--
- I like the wild boys.

And she's probably second.

And then I'm dead last.

Got it, OK.

The last horse I rode,

I put a quarter in
to make it move.

♪

Oh, I should have watched
how she just did that.

Anymore four wheelers
available over there?

There you go.

Ooh, ooh, sorry!

Looking like
a natural, Olivia.

- We ready?
- Yeah, ready.

- OK.
- This way?

Just have a good
time and relax.

Off to the races.

Yeah!

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

[laughter]
- Whoo!

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

This is so peaceful.

Look at this.

Y'all, this is
a beautiful property.

I mean, it's so beautiful.
- It's so pretty.

And in the fall,
like, wow, the leaves

change and everything.

It's perfect.

Go forward.
There you go.

Got her?
When she goes to turn--

Hold on.
Hold on, Holly.

Just keep her straight.

- Poor Olivia.
- Go forward.

Go forward.

Now right there, pull her
back around the other way.

OK, I was, I was, I was.

It's not me!

Hold on.

Watching Olivia on
a horse is like watching

a train wreck in slow motion.

- Hold him up.
- Pull back.

Pull back, pull back.
- Hold him up.

Just pull back.

Oh, jeez.

Oh jeez, Olivia.

You call that a hairbrush.
[laughter]

Girls, you wanna drive?

- Yeah.
- How do you drive it?

Sh--!
Ah! [laughs]

♪

Whoo!

Go, mama!
- Go, go, go!

Oh, my God, dude,
Venita's scootin'.

[screams, laughs]

Don't let the outfit
fool you, honey.

I can get down and dirty.

[laughs]

Damn, V!

Ahh! [laughs]

♪

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

OK, so we're ready
to take a break,

let the horses take a breather.

And then we'll get
back on our ride.

Perfect.

Well, y'all, that was fun.

That was fun.

I take it back.
I'm glad I did this,

instead of the four wheelers.
[ATV approaching]

Taylor.

- Oh, hell.
- [laughs]

Oh, jeez.
Are we in a nightmare?

I hear that
in my nightmares--

"Taylor!"

Don't scare the horses.

He calls your name out.

All the time.

- He's like, "Taylor!"
- Yeah, like, "Water!"

Get your own water.

What about you?

Any new love interests
in your life?

[playful music]

[laughs] No.

Really?

I mean, yeah. Um--

I asked Naomie.
I was like,

so what's it like dating
in Charleston?

She's like, "Horrible."

And I was like, "Good talk!"
- Oh, I know.

No, I mean,
yeah, it's not fun.

I did not enjoy.

Would not recommend.

Yeah, no, mine's at
a solid standstill, so--

What was that
guy's name, Zach?

I mean, when you
guys showed up,

Austen was like,
who's that guy?

I was like, that's your date.

So I don't know
if you know this.

But when Austen saw that
you were there with a date,

he called Ciara.

He, like, told Leva and I
that they hung out.

They had like--yeah.

Wait, Ciara?

Yeah.

Hold on.

After he saw that
you had a date,

I don't know if he
was retaliating.

How does he have
feelings about my date,

who has zero history,
yet, hung out later

that night with someone
that you do have history with?

But he did that because
he had feelings for you.

And he thought you
were like, going

on dates with other people.

See, that's such the
bullsh-- of the situation.

I think that's--

And in your mind,
being retaliation,

that's just--it's not OK.

I think that's
how he and Madison

operated, like, tit for tat.

She's very much
like, you did this.

I'll do that.

And that's what he's,
for the last several years,

has been used to.
- Has been accustomed to, yeah.

- Yeah.
- I just want him

to be able to trust
another person.

Like how it was
with Madison,

it's not like that
with everyone.

No!

A lot of people have told me that she's

got something over him.

But like, to see it in
the flesh taking place

is baffling.

[sighs] God, I really--

maybe I need two therapists
after this.

- You guys just need to talk.
- Yeah.

You'll talk tonight,
I'm sure.

- Yeah.
- Oh, definitely.

♪

Coming up...

So, Naomie, she made
out with Whitney.

What do you mean,
they made out?

I heard it straight
from the horse's mouth.

What the [BLEEP]?

[upbeat music]

♪

- Ah!
- Oh, my God.

Oh! [laughs]
Ahh!

♪

[laughs]

Why would y'all
let me get on this?

- Whoo!
- It's cool, huh?

- Yeah, it was fun.
- So, so fun.

So dinner in, like,
hour and a half.

So we'll just decompose, relax.

- Decompose?
- I don't want to decompose.

- Decompress?
- I don't wanna die.

Become one with
nature and God.

I'm gonna not decompose,
if that's cool.

- Yeah.
- Beers in the meantime?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.

- One more, one more, one more.
- That was fun.

That was fun, bros!
- Good job.

[BLEEP] Yeah, bros, yeah!
- Yeah, you guys did good.

We gotta get solid. Come on.
Uh!

[crosstalk]

- Come on, bro.
- [BLEEP] yeah.

We're so country, we don't even
know we're country.

[upbeat music]

♪

What would your name be?

She looks kind of
like a Margaret to me.

Princess Yellow Flower.

Let's put that in
Shep's bed tonight.

We should probably
chug an Emergen-C.

Oh, I thought you were going
to say something else to chug.

But yeah, I'm down.

Oh, no! Oh, no!
[laughter]

Frank Lloyd Wright did not
think about a make-up station.

[laughter]

Ooh.

Do you wanna do
a little walk around?

- Please, yes.
- OK, perfect.

So what we're gonna do
is we'll light the candles.

- OK.
- Once the guests--

prior to them being seated.

I mean, probably,
our degenerates

need to get liquored up first.

OK, OK.

Then we will all
come to the table.

OK.

Well, what we'll do is we'll
have a preset glass of water

already at their seat, just
to, you know, help with that.

They're not
going to touch it.

We'll see. [laughs]

Hello, Marcie.
You have 21 days to go.

- 21 days?
- 37 weeks, day one.

- [sighs] How do you feel?
- Look at my ankles.

I don't mean to complain.
But I'm gonna complain.

- Oh.
- Oh, I have--

we have a visitor.
- How does this work?

- You gotta pull.
- There you go.

Oh, thank you.
What's this?

I come bearing gifts.

Thank you so much.

And for me, no hot chocolate?

You want some bourbon?

No.

- Cheers--roomies again.
- Okay.

Did you enjoy having
Ciara in town?

It was great to see Ciara.

And I'm glad that it
did happen, right?

But it all stemmed from
Olivia bringing a date.

It bummed me out, for sure.

And I try to act
like it didn't.

But it did.

I will say, though,
I'm not sure, like,

that Austen and
Ciara hooked up.

I mean, I kind
of maybe assumed.

But I was like, no,
like, you can't assume.

Well--and I'm
not gonna assume.

But I guess that's
why I'm like,

let me have the
conversation with him

because we haven't
talked since the wedding.

What did you talk to
Olivia about today at lunch?

Are you spying on us?

I just haven't talked
to her in ----ing forever.

It's so ----ing weird, dude.
- Yeah, that's what

we were talking about.
- And I have not spoken to

her since Patricia's thing.
- Ow.

I just poked
myself in the eye.

And now I'm like, I
don't know what the [BLEEP]

you're talking about.
- Is that such a bad thing,

or are you talking
about us the whole time?

Don't ever say that
to me ever again.

Like basically, like,
Madison talking to you,

it's taking up time that you
could be spending talking

to someone that you want.

She doesn't deserve that time.

No, she certainly doesn't.

This is like when
Naomie pulled me

into Patricia's dining room.

And I was like, why are
you pulling me aside?

You don't get one-on-one
time with me anymore.

- That's true.
- And she was like,

"You feel awkward
when I'm around."

And I was like,
"No, no I don't."

I was like,
"There's nothing here."

Name one time I've ever
been weird around you.

I was like, "I'm not in love
with you anymore, Naomie.

I'm in love with Paige."

So does Craig, like,
know what's going on,

like, with Whitney?
- [sighs]

[clears throat]
I mean, I hope not.

- Oh, my gosh.
- I had no idea!

Naomie, you are crème de la crme.

Why are you hooking
up with Whitney?

Is this a joke?

Is Craig going to take
this, like, personal,

or is this going to be a thing?

If it was Austen or Shep,
it would be one thing.

- Yeah.
- And like, I would

never do that.

I would never even
consider that.

But also, I mean,
I'm not saying

it's not, like, kind of weird.

You're like--

OK, but you
know, it happened.

Like, I'm not going to
try to hide it, and try

to lie to everyone about it.

Like, that's stupid.

Right, so I didn't mean to
give you anxiety about Craig.

But I was just like--
- I don't have anxiety.

I just like, know it's
probably going to be--

He just gets kind
of mean when, he like,

he has big feelings.

It's like a baby.
- I know.

You don't give a sh--
like, who she's hooking up,

with or what she's doing?
- Who?

- Naomie.
- No.

So, OK, because she
made out with Whitney.

- Nuh-uh.
- Yeah.

What do you mean,
they made out?

What, did Whitney get
drunk and tell you?

No, you think--Whitney?

So like, who?
Just tell me.

Craig, let other
people discuss it.

Just tell me.

Let other people discuss it.

Just ----ing tell
me what happened.

- Tell me that you will!
- Austen, you're not being

a really good friend right now.
- Ohh!

- Or a partner.
- Craig, Craig,

how many times--
- I told you everything.

For two years, I told you
everyone that your girlfriend

slept with.
- Two weeks later.

- For two years.
- Two weeks later,

after you found out because you
didn't do anything about it.

- Two weeks later!
- Oh, my God.

OK, if you're not gonna
explain yourself.

Who do you think told me?

I heard it straight
from the horse's mouth.

What that [BLEEP]?

Oh, God, that stings.

To go from me to Whitney,
it's just not that fun.

I'm listening to you morons
for the past, like, 15 minutes.

- Why?
- You guys are

- ing idiots.
- Why?

What the [BLEEP] is
wrong with you two?

So what's going on
with you and Naomie?

The story is you guys
have been hooking up.

It's not a lie.

All right, just relax, Craig.

Just relax.
- I'm not--I'm fine.

I'm just getting in the shower.

No--oh my God, you're
going to run away now?

It's my ex-girlfriend.

Who gives a sh--?
But there are other reasons.

It's not just some
random hookup.

- OK, good.
- But you know what?

- That's exciting.
- But you know, it's none

of his ----ing business,
so we don't need

to explain ourselves
in any capacity.

- [BLEEP] you, Whitney.
- [sighs]

Whatever.

Coming up...

- You were terrible to me.
- All right.

You can't play
the victim, Craig.

You're not a ----ing victim.
- They're doing anything

they can to justify
their behavior.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪

OK, so we're
good here, right?

I'll just have
a Maker's and ginger.

But don't let me have
too many of 'em.

[laughs]

- Lookin' good, buddy.
- Yeah.

- Look at you.
- So, um--

You're so corporate.

- I'm so ----ing corporate.
- [laughs]

So just by happenstance--
you're gonna love this--

Go ahead.

I talked to Frick and Frack,
Austen and Craig.

So basically, I walk in.
And then I hear--

I hear them screaming my name.

Craig is, like, interrogating
Austen about, like, me

and Naomie and all that stuff.
- Naomie, yeah.

And he's really, super aggro.
And--

Everybody's been--
everybody's happy.

So I wouldn't worry about it.
- Except for Craig.

It's just--it's just,
he's been a pain in the ass,

as always.
- Boys?

Hey!

Walk through
the Spanish moss.

- What?
- There's mites in there.

[tense music]

Hey, guys, I'm so sorry to
burst in on your conversation.

It was not intended.
- Whitney, I--

It seemed like
an intimate moment.

Could not care
less about any of it.

Whitney, I'm very glad.

It was an intimate
moment and very heated.

And I apologize profusely.
I did not mean to.

Like, I don't understand
her obsession with you.

But like, whatever.
It's your life.

I mean, Naomie can do whatever she wants.

But I think it's
shady of Whitney.

The bro code rules are
complicated at times.

I understand that.

But it's still, you know, my ex-girlfriend.

Like, what the [BLEEP]?

♪

It's not personal.

I was just disappointed
when I heard that.

- Hey, fellas!
- Hi.

♪

- Whitney.
- Evening.

- Evening, how are you?
- Doing great.

Oh, you smell very good.
- Thank you.

- Hey.
- Hi, babe.

Please, have a seat.

Can I get you a proper
drink in a proper glass?

- That would be lovely.
- Yes, what would you like?

Do you want me
to follow you, or--

Well, you know,
why don't Austen--

do you want to take
her to get a drink?

Sure.

No, you're like,
more of the gentleman.

He snooze, you lose.

Thank you.

♪

- Here we are.
- OK.

OK.

- Hi, guys. Hi!
- Venita, what?

You're just gonna
come out like this?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you, Whitney.

I appreciate that.
- This fire's--

Do you want your seat back?
I'm too warm for this.

- Seriously.
- Ahh--

Whoa, Naomie, I can see you
from all the way over here.

- It's a little cutie.
- Latex.

- Y'all look good.
- Hi, guys.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Whitney, this is so pretty.

- Thank you.
- Muah.

There's no one in the world,
that if you went back

even a year, and were like, one day, Naomie

is going to be with Whitney.

Not a single person
would believe it.

Yet, here we are.

Look at you,
all sparkly. Hi.

Not sparkly,
just a little latex-y.

You're gonna be totally
cold with your shoulders.

No, I have a coat.
But I'm not cold yet.

- OK, aight.
- Aight! [laughs]

- All right.
- I just never seen him

act all jealous and stuff.

Maybe he's finally, for
the first time in his life,

feeling really vulnerable.

- Elevated.
- When's dinner, guys?

I'm getting kind of hungry.

I don't know.
Where's our host

and his new girlfriend?

If we could start
the food roll-out.

I'm just saying, Craig,
human attraction

and stuff is not--
sometimes irrational,

completely irrational.

I get it.

Whatever, I'm happy to be
out here in this capacity.

Good.

I wanna talk to Olivia.

She wants to talk
to you as well.

Yeah.

How are you
feeling about her?

Make up your mind, Austen.

Make up your mind.

♪

So what's going on?

You happy?

Yeah, I'm just, like,
I'm in such a happy place.

But I needed, for my own
personal growth and health

and happiness, to remove myself
from everything that I knew.

And I needed to go
find another path.

Can I present
a theory to you?

- Sure.
- And you can tell me

to shut the [BLEEP] up.
- [laughs]

Hopefully I don't
say that, but--

I think a part
of you likes being

around people who, like,
don't know the Craig

from eight years ago.

And there's a part
of you that, like,

resents the fact that we've
known you in your lowest.

I understand it.
I see your theory.

- Does that make sense?
- Of course, it makes sense.

But it's not--I don't--

I don't agree.

But I can see what
you're saying.

You've actually become
more of an asshole.

I mean, it's true.

In actuality,
the people that know you

back when you were ----ing
you know, whatever--

They weren't always
the best for me.

Your behavior wasn't nice.

And it wasn't appropriate.

- You were terrible to me.
- All right.

Like, terrible.

Me, removing myself from you,
was one of the biggest--

What about all the
good times we had?

Well, of course, we did.

But you were awful to me.

You went against all
of my entrepreneurship.

- Against?
- Shep.

I mean, what are you--
are you crazy?

My progression in
life consisted of--

- Was it of spite of me?
- Moving--

That's amazing.

- No, moving away from you.
- Oh, OK.

I did.

And so you want to be
friends again, that's great.

That's some really,
really psychosis sh--.

This is not about Craig
and I's relationship.

Craig's anger is directed towards Naomie and Whitney

being together.

And so he's lashing out.

Snap out of it, asshole.

- Let's go be with our friends.
- Yeah, let's-- sh--.

All the put-downs, all
the, "Sewing is stupid.

Pillows are stupid.
Focus on one thing."

I never said that.
I never said that.

Yes, you did, and
said it all the time.

Naomie said that.
I'm sorry.

- Yeah, that was me--
- Are you ----ing--

- Not Shep.
- That was Naomie.

You got me--
- Guys, you can be

mad about it.
- I couldn't give a [BLEEP]

about your sewing.
- But at the end of the day,

I removed myself
from the negativity in my life.

And you were part
of that negativity.

Shep, I think your intention
was not to be negative.

No, it was little,
brother fun sh--, man.

That's how I communicate.

You can't justify
it like that.

You were awful.

You needed acceptance
from me for ----ing years,

is the problem.
- No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

You've always had
a chip on your shoulder,

always, about Charleston, and
status, and this and that.

You know what
I'm talking about, man.

No, I don't, Shep.
You're not listening to anyone.

So listen, Shep, you like
to kind of like, poke people.

- Sure.
- It's a thing for you, right?

- That's tough love.
- It doesn't land for him.

This is not
a ----ing kumbaya.

That's not how I ----ing
have any relationships

in my ----ing life.
- Shep, relax, Shep. Stop.

Oh, hey, buddy.

How you doing?

Are you OK?

OK, isn't that better
than what y'all are

doing right now, which is
you not listening to him,

whatsoever.

I don't--I'm not
gonna change.

- What?
- OK, buddy, you clearly

have some sh-- going on.

He just wants validation.

This is all in his head.
This is all in his head.

I'll tell you, 100%, like,
what you're saying is--

- It's crazy.
- I'm with you on it.

I'm just not involved with it.

So I can't say much.

But I'm with you.

- Craig.
- What's up, buddy?

For years, obviously, we've
been ----ing with you.

And we feel bad because
you're a bit vulnerable.

We didn't realize
how sensitive he was.

We know how sensitive.
And you've given it back.

Guys, did you
hear what Shep said?

That was important.

He said, "We didn't realize
how sensitive you were."

- How sensitive?
- That's what you--

- It's putting it on me.
- No, no, no.

Have you ever heard
the sh-- that he said?

That's a dig.
- No, that's not a dig.

Yes, it is!

Yeah, you can't play
the victim, Craig.

You're not a ----ing victim.

They're doing anything they
can to justify their behavior.

I justify my behavior.

We're ----ing with you
because we can't help it.

It sounds like a lot of
jealousy and deflection.

Jealousy?

Not you, Craig, jealous.

I mean, whoa!
[laughter]

Jealous of Craig?

- Was that on purpose?
- Are you ----ing kidding me?

What a ----ing
laughable concept.

♪ Ba ba doo

On the next episode of "Southern Charm"...

- Let's eat.
- Thank you.

[all toasting]

Thank you.

You were acting out,
doing crazy sh--.

Why are you defending Shep?

Craig, you are
a crazy person.

OK, well, just
for the record,

we're not friends anymore.

OK, egg toss.

OK, perfect.

On your mark, get set, toss.

- Ahh! Sorry!
- Ahh!

Ooh! Oh!

[egg splats]
- Oh! [laughs]

[all shouting]

- Ahh!
- Wait, y'alls--

Hey!
[laughter]

- It fell!
- It did not break.

- So?
- You ----ing idiot.

Don't call her an idiot!

- [sniffling]
- That's abuse.

You're used to it.
I can tell.

I'm like, exhausted.

And how much can
you take before--

I absolutely break.

Did you just not
know that I knew

about you and Ciara
hanging out?

No, no, I--I had every--
[stammering]

What did y'all do?
Did you go home with her?

[dramatic music]