All language subtitles for Southern Charm S08E03 Barbeques Breakups and Betrothals 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

Previously
on "Southern Charm..."

I'm not on birth control
or anything like that.

Oh.
It just takes one

or two times
that you're not careful.

♪ Just a regular bozo

As Shep
and Taylor rolled the dice,

the odds were against Chleb
and Kathryn.

You don't like
a lot of people,

and that's not the way I roll.

That's now a problem
between you and I?

♪ Times have changed

♪ Don't you know,
don't you know? ♪

Meanwhile, just as Olivia
was beginning to realize

there would be blowback
for defending Kathryn...

She's known Kathryn
for a while.

She's just probably--
- I'm not--

I'm not even,
like, taking sides.

- But like, listen--
- No, no, no. Calm down.

First of all,
don't tell me to calm down.

♪ Ooh, ooh, whoa

Austen was stuck on the fact
that I hooked up with Craig

while Craig was with Paige.

You're a good liar,
you ----ing--

- I never lied to you.
- Oh, my God.

♪ He's got scandals
to pass the time ♪

You guys did not just
sleep together once.

True or false?
- Twice. That's it.

And now Austen knows that
what Craig and I did in Vegas

didn't stay in Vegas.

I don't tell him
secrets anymore.

I don't trust him anymore.

All the cornerstones
of a good friendship.

♪ It's easy

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the 1-2-3s ♪

Mm-hmm.

[jazzy music]

♪

Little.

Lamar.

Can you push me?

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

Goddamn.

- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.

Whoo!
- Okay.

Now I can take it. Yeah.

I don't just wear these outfits
to look cute, okay?

I actually work out.

- Ooh, look at that squat.
- Okay.

[phone ringing]

[ringing stops]

[grunts]

[upbeat music]

[laid-back pop music]

♪

You ready to go play?

Let's go!

[laughs]

You better not go
in the marsh.

What's up, man?
Good to you see you.

Yeah, you too.

How about the local
Gold Blonde?

I like blondes.

[chuckles]
Cheers, guys.

Hey, what's up, buddy?

What's up, man?

- How are you?
- How's it going?

- Good. It's good.
- Good to see you.

Hi.
It's really good to see you.

Yeah. You've got better
things to do, buddy.

Sit here so we can kind of
watch Craig do his thing.

I was here with Danni one time.

It was a disaster.

Where's Craig?
- No.

Craig! Craig!

No!

I'm gonna need a hazmat suit
to get him home.

[dog barking]

What? You're unleashed,
you're unfettered.

You want food? I just
gave you a half a burrito.

He is a cute dog.

There's a Jekyll
and Hyde that's there.

- Like Craig and Austen.
- [laughs]

[line ringing]

- Hi.
- Hey, what's up, baby?

- Hold on one second.
- Okay.

Did you talk about me?

[laughs]

Aw.

I wanna hug you.

Like, running some errands.

But I don't know
what to do about this,

like, Austen situation.

So, like, Naomie had--

He was trying
to figure out, like,

if, like,
the time that we hung out

overlapped with Paige,

and she was like, "I thought
it was pretty inappropriate."

He was like,
Craig was like, "Ugh.

"Like, she's my ex
for a reason.

Like, it wasn't all it was..."
- I never said that.

- "Like, chalked up to be."
- He said that?

He's just so ----ing--

Yeah, someone
that's supposed to be,

like, one of my best friends.

Yeah, and I don't even know

if I want to be friends
with him anymore.

Well, he definitely does not
have my back.

So Austen's the problem?

The fact that Craig has
a problem is kind of crazy.

Like, you still have
to foster your friendships.

Like, I don't care
where you are in life.

- I concur.
- I hope he and Austin patch up

because they really are close.

I mean, that's got
to be difficult, you know?

Yeah. Maybe I'll invite
the boys over for a barbecue.

- Perfect.
- I haven't done that

in forever.
- I like that.

Let's get the band
back together.

I'm not good
with that though.

Right. All right,
well, thank you, baby.

All right, sounds good. Bye.

Craig, where's the bowl?

Where's the bowl?

Good boy.

What's up with you, and, um--

how's Taylor?

[laughs]
She, um,

gave me a little scare.

What do you mean?

She said she was late,

and for, like,
three, four days,

I was like,
"[BLEEP], this is it."

But fortunately,
it was a false alarm,

and I'm happy.

It's an eye-opening
event for sure.

It would be quite
an adjustment having a baby,

because I like autonomy,
and I don't want that

to come to an end.

You did it later.
You--how old were you?

I was 35.

Oh, boy.
When I was 35,

I couldn't have
had ----ing kids.

Are you crazy?

Kathryn, she's two weeks late
on her period.

- [scoffs]
- She says I'm the daddy,

not you, but we're gonna have
to do a paternity test.

You do want kids
at some point?

I don't know if I, like,
have this yearning to do that.

I mean, that must
be super rewarding

and super enriching
and all that stuff,

but I feel like
your life is gone.

I feel like you've--
you've played life wrong.

No, your version
of life is done.

No, that's--

Y'all haven't had any,
like, arguments about it?

The more it becomes,
like, a talking point,

the more I disengage.

And Taylor's like, "I know,"

but I'm like,
"But does it register?"

Try to figure that out,

'cause she's gonna want kids
at some point.

Things are great,
and so why screw with something

if it's going well, you know?

My life isn't, like,
set in stone.

Maybe it never will be.

Like, I don't know where
I'm gonna be in six months.

If you have a kid, you will.

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hey.
- [gasps]

Hi, cutie!

Oh, my God.
- How are you?

- I'm good.
- I thought I was gonna

have to, like,
go searching for you.

Well, I've been looking
at every little thing.

- Look at you, Mama.
- Thank you.

So frickin' cute.
Your boobs look good.

- Thanks.
- Are they, like,

filling up with milk?

Probably. Who knows?

So, like, are there
things that you need?

- I need a diaper bag.
- Diaper bag? Okay.

Oh, that's cute.
Is that for sale?

I don't know. I'm gonna ask
if I could get that.

Can I see that?
- You sure can.

- This is really cute.
- That seems perfect.

Like, a good size.
- Yeah.

Can I leave this
with you up front?

- You sure can.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- That takes care of that.

I can't wait to see what
your baby's gonna look like.

This is the latest ultrasound.

Oh, my gosh.
Look at her lips.

- She looks like--
- That is crazy.

But look,
she looks just like John.

They look identical.

- She's so cute.
- But anyway--

- So sweet.
- She's gonna be great.

But can you imagine
a baby Shep?

[laughs]
Okay.

Like, have y'all talked
about that,

I mean, y'all having
children together?

Well, we had a scare,

but I'm not pregnant,
which is fine,

because my family is--you know,

we're very traditional and,
like, religious.

So it's like...
- I know.

I'd rather be married.

- Same. Trust me.
- And, you know--

and--the concept of marriage
in Shep's head...

- I know.
- You probably know, is, like--

- He told me.
- It's just so foreign to him.

He's like,
"I don't really believe

in the sanctity of marriage."
- Which is weird

'cause y'all's family is so--
- I know, traditional.

Like, everybody is married
and has kids,

and so I'm like, where did--

where did it go wrong,
like, in your brain?

I think Shep's resistant
to marriage

because he's afraid of,
like, commitment,

but also nobody in my family
has ever been divorced,

and I respect that
so much about my family,

'cause it's like we do it
for the long haul.

So, like, if he had a wife
and they broke up,

I think he would be
looked down upon harshly.

I feel like if you did
get pregnant,

Shep could rise
to the occasion.

If we make it that long.

At some point,
I'm gonna want to start

to think
about something serious.

And it's like,
if he can't quite get there

to have a family and get
married and have kids...

- Be married.
- I'm gonna just be like,

"All right, you know, unfortunately,

we probably have
to separate ways."

- Can't be a kid forever.
- I know.

[dramatic music]

Coming up...

Tell me what's new.

I'm in love.

BDE, baby.

[laughs]

[lively jazz music]

♪

- Hey there. How are you doing?
- Hi.

How are you?
- Just sit wherever you like,

and I'll follow you
with some menus, okay?

Great.
Thanks.

♪

Would you like a drink
while you wait?

Yes.
Can I do the Queen Bee?

- Of course.
- Okay. Thank you.

- Hello.
- Hi.

You look so good.

Mm-muah.

You're giving me,
like, "Gossip Girl" vibes.

Listen, I'm here
to be your Blair, okay?

- Oh.
- Serena.

[laughter]

- Here, the Queen Bee for you.
- Oh, thank you.

I love the color.
- And what can I get for you?

There was something
that was served in the flute.

- Halley's Comet.
- Ah, there we go.

- Do we want any food today?
- Deviled eggs.

- And fries.
- And fries.

- You make a great table.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- That's what they say.

- I'll grab that for you.
- Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

How have you been?
You look dewy.

- Thank you.
- Hydrated.

- Hydrated.
- Fresh.

I'm fresh.
Black don't crack.

Skin is fresh.

So our birthdays
are coming up.

Well, your birthday's
already passed.

But it's all month.

'Cause Libras celebrate
all month,

but my birthday's in a week.

I have a client
that has a house.

She would let us
use that space.

You want to have a party?

We should do a joint party.

And--ooh.
- We have your Halley's Comet.

- Thank you so much.
- Matches the ensemble.

- It matches.
- We have the requested

French fries
and the lobster deviled eggs.

- Oh, this is beautiful.
- I know.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Tell me what's new.

What's new?

What's not new?

I'm in love.

I mean,
I couldn't have prayed

for a better man for you.

Little did I know that I'd

ever find anyone that made me,

like, want to be
a better person.

- Oh, he has you grounded.
- Yes.

I was out in Scottsdale
at a bachelorette party.

We made eye contact,
and I fell in love instantly.

I definitely think
Brett could be the one.

He is, like,
all about you and like--

BDE, baby.

Big dick energy.

[laughs]

Venita, where have you been?

[laughter]

Are you dating?
- No.

I'm just so hyper-focused
on career.

- Right now.
- I feel like I need someone

that's, like,
at a distance that, like,

if I have a free weekend,
I can go fly to you,

and then, like,
spend time, come back,

back to what I know.

Like, I can't have someone
in my space like, "Oh, hi."

No, get out!

Been there, done that.

I had issues with boundaries
in my past relationship.

I found out my ex cheated
on me via an Instagram DM.

So when it comes
to relationships,

it's like guard, guard, guard,
guard, guard, me.

Sometimes you gotta be
put through the wringer,

I think, to get a good one.

Speaking of,
it was nice to see you

and Austen getting along
so well.

- Speak of the devil.
- Look.

I brought you a Trop Hop.

Thank you.

I'm retired.

- You're retired.
- Yeah.

I am retired of the drama.

But the party was
very interesting.

I--I saw people screaming,

and I was like,
"What's happening?"

Olivia was screaming at me
for trying to help Naomie.

And I look at her like,
"Ma'am? Ma'am?"

Like, I felt bad that
I saw her, like, get attacked.

Who?

Olivia.

- No.
- Yeah.

That caught me
a little off guard.

Why don't you just--

I'm too much of a fixer.

Naomie and I were
talking about this.

Like, I like
to come in and fix.

What planet are
you living on, Venita?

Naomie speaks, like,
five different languages.

She's not a dumbass.

She'll figure it out.

Not our problem.

Madison makes a good point,

because my communication
hasn't always been great.

Like, I'm sorry
for how I said what I said,

but I don't know
how to address my feelings

when I'm actually upset
about something.

I need to let it go.

Well, I'll tell you this,
I don't personally know Olivia,

but if she's got a thick skin,
then she'll survive.

God bless.

Oh!
- God bless this mess.

God bless this mess.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

I could get used to this.

Yeah, seriously,
you're making it

real hard to move out.

[dog growling]

[laughs]

Lila, I'm talking
to Olivia right now.

You want some chardonnay?

She is so wanting
that cheese.

Oh, my God.

How do you ask, Lila?

That's my girl.

And how do you ask, Marmy?

Lick your chops.

Sassy-frass.
- [laughs]

Isn't it too early for wine?
- Daddy's not home.

It's not.
Don't tell him.

He's Mr. Right.

I mean, y'all have
got it figured out.

What, yesterday was...

35.

- 35.
- Yeah.

I just feel like
all the qualities

that you see in your dad is
what you should be looking for.

I don't know if there's
any more Dads left out there.

My mom's born and raised
in South Carolina.

My dad's
from upstate New York.

But it's like a cohesive
fit with them.

They've just never grown out
of their honeymoon stage.

How's Austen?

Um, Austen asked me
to come over and watch a movie,

like, Netflix and chill.

No. You got the wrong girl
for that.

Put, like, in more effort.

Yeah.

I'm 30,
and all my friends are

settling down
and getting married,

and I'm not dating
just to date at this point.

We're just in such a--
like, a feeling it out place.

I want someone who's sweet
and considerate.

Like, I want you to pick me up
from the airport.

If you're ordering
yourself Postmates,

ask me if I want anything.
I'll probably

say no, but, like, still ask.

You didn't go with Austen
to that party, right?

- Not Naomie's, no.
- Y'all went to the other one.

Yeah, we just met up
at this one.

And I shouldn't be Ubering.

He should be coming
to pick me up.

So there's that too.

Did you meet
anybody interesting?

There were a lot
of people there.

But there was, like,
a bit of a--

I don't know what you call it,
a hiccup with the girls.

That's too bad.

You can't control
how they're gonna behave.

- Right.
- As long as you're nice,

then you don't need
to worry about it.

The conversation probably
could have gone a bit better,

but they started talking,

and I was like, oh, no.

Mm-mm.
- No. Mm-mm.

Exit stage left.

Get out of Dodge.

But it can be
squashed very easily.

This doesn't need
to be a ongoing issue.

Yeah.

I would rather walk away
from something

and have things
that I want to say later

than say too much
and get myself in trouble.

I'm not done
with Naomie and Venita.

I'm just thrown off by it.

Coming up...

You're like, you know,
pushing me

away from you.

Why would I try
to hang out with someone

that keeps throwing me
under the bus?

[dramatic music]

[lively jazz music]

♪

- Got it?
- Yep.

Okay.

Am I chauffeuring?

Of course you are.

You don't expect me
to sit in the front.

Thank you.

And I made sure that
the champagne is cooling there.

Fantastic.

Where--

where is it?

See it in the back there?

Oh, yeah, I see it.

Yeah.

Can I shut this?

Well, let's make sure
we don't crush the glasses.

Supposed to be shut
in order to get cold.

You know what,
let's just keep it open.

Hm.

♪

Let's do it.

Seat belt on.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Where have I heard
that before?

Lauren Bacall.

No, it was Betty Davis.

No, it was not.

I'll bet you $100.

I'll bet you $1,000.

Okay, I'll bet you $1,000.

It was Betty Davis.

Lauren Bacall.

Nope, Betty Davis.

I know a Betty Davis quote
when I hear one.

Come on in.
This is it, the new place.

Well, to quote Betty Davis,

"What a dump."

I'll write you a check.

No, I want cash.

[laid-back jazz music]

♪

I feel like
"Driving Miss Daisy."

Good.
I want you to feel that way.

Thank you.

I know you
and Michael liked to take

your drives
to the vegetable stand.

- Well, I miss him.
- I miss him too.

It's been a sh---y year.

Michael's not here
since the stroke,

and then my father.

Unexpectedly losing Dad
was a real horror show.

Such a nice, kind,

brilliant man.

Absolutely.
An insidious thing.

Terrible.

At least
your father was only ill

with leukemia for,
what, two weeks?

- About three weeks, yeah.
- Three weeks.

It was a terrible summer.

Whitney's father and I,
we were married for 15 years.

We got divorced

because he needed
a corporate wife

doing parties for clients,

and I was selling paintings

to museums and traveling.

But we were always friendly.

I adored him.

He was a great father
to Whitney.

We're on the yacht,
fresh out of French Riviera.

Say hi.
[laughter]

He was a fabulous man.

He was so attractive
in every way.

Did you bring
a shopping list?

What do we need exactly?

I actually forgot
my written list.

- I think we're here.
- Okay.

Thank you.

Any good or fresh today
we should be focusing on?

Winter squash.

What's winter squash?
[laughs]

The domestic arts elude me.

[laughter]

Whitney cooks, but he's vegan,

and it's hard
to make vegetables exciting

every night.

Whitney, lima beans.

We still have the lima beans
we didn't make from fast time.

No, I made 'em.
I burned 'em.

- Oh, God.
- Yeah, grab one.

Do I want another
cauliflower steak?

No.

Don't tell Whitney
I ate a hamburger.

That's the first person
I'm gonna tell when I get home.

No, no.

I miss Michael,

and I want bacon.

[lively jazz music]

- Madame.
- Thank you very much.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm gonna open the bottle.

- The champagne?
- Uh-huh.

It's not cold.

God forbid
you have warm champagne.

♪

[laid-back music]

♪

[line trilling]

- Hello.
- What's up, dude?

What up?

Uh, just running
some errands.

I was gonna see
what you were doing.

Nice.
Well, I was just wondering

if you wanted to meet up.

I'll meet you
at the Pitt Street Bridge.

All right, bye.

♪

It's on.

[laid-back music]

♪

- Yo.
- What's up?

- Where are you coming from?
- Just errands.

You look snazzy.

Thanks.

It's really cool out here.

Yeah.

Um, I was kind of
bummed coming here,

'cause it just feels
like there's a disconnect,

so I figure we should talk.

I'm just not sure, like,
why you're, like, you know,

pushing me away from you.

Sometimes it feels like
you're trying to tear me down,

and I don't understand it,

especially from like,
you know, someone that's

supposed to be one
of my best friends.

It just--I hate that.

I feel like I am, like,

a major ----ing champion
of you, Craig,

and so that makes
no sense to me.

Well, I talked to Naomie,
and she said you were inquiring

about the timeline
of us hooking up.

I'm like, "Why on earth
would he ever be asking that?"

Like I ----ing say,
Craig, like,

I don't care if you slept
with her a hundred times.

I don't care.

But you told me
that it didn't happen.

You know, I felt--
I felt like an outsider,

and it made me look stupid.

Oh, yeah, I get that
you were upset about that,

but even if you did find out

that I, like, cheated on Paige,

what would you have done
with that information?

So--so yes, like, that--
that was none of my business,

and I never should have
put my nose there.

Well, that's good
to hear you say,

because it just feels like
there's this underlying,

like, hatred or something.

Like,
"What does he resent me for?"

I don't,
but I feel like you've

been a sh---y friend to me.

You use a friendship

for when it's
convenient for you.

When have I been
a bad friend to you?

When you were single,

and you didn't want
to be alone, right,

and we hung out
together so much.

[playful music]

[chuckles]
Get up, sleepy boy.

I got a beer for you.

Whoa!

Yo, he had
to back roll out of--

[laughs]

Ow.

And then you find a girlfriend,

you kind of bail.

Craig and I weren't
really dating,

but it's been the longest,
most steady relationship

that I've had in years.

I just want to be good and,
you know, move on.

[clears throat]

Why would I try
to hang out with someone

that's doing-- like, keeps
throwing me under the bus?

That's not the type of friend
that I want to be.

That's ----ing--it's not.

It doesn't have
to stay toxic.

Look, I'm always willing
to improve

and get better,
and I would love to--

to rekindle this friendship.

I agree.

Just try not to,
like, you know,

do anything that would
sabotage my relationship.

[laughs]

Let's just be nice
to each other

and kind
and keep moving forward.

That--that was positive.

That's positive.
- Should we hug?

We don't really
ever hug though.

- Never.
- Yeah, I don't think

we've ever hugged.
- Okay. Don't touch me.

- We just high-five.
- [laughs]

Coming up...

He left the apartment,

and I haven't seen him since.

No, he hasn't been here in,
like, five days.

[laid-back music]

♪

[phone ringing]

Hey.

How are you?

I'm doing okay, baby.

Oh, what is it?

Oh, my gosh.
I need to come to your house.

Debbie brings
a maternal energy to my life.

The next time
that I get visitation,

you'll have to come visit
and see the kids.

They love you.
They love all your stories.

I mean, I lost my mom,
so it was kind of nice

bonding
with my boyfriend's mom.

Well, he left the apartment,

and I haven't seen him since.

No, he hasn't been here in,
like, five days.

This fight's over nothing,

but for Chleb to just leave
for a few days,

like, my abandonment issues, triggered.

We've been having issues
for a while,

as far as,
I don't know if we're growing

towards the same thing.

Like, he's not making
kind of, like,

the effort necessarily
that I want him to.

Well, I would love
to have a conversation.

Well, okay.

Oh, oops.

I didn't mean to do that.

Okay, love you. Bye.

[sighs]
I love talking to her.

[laid-back music]

♪

[lively jazz music]

♪

This is gonna be
a fun afternoon.

You want me to leave
the tuna 'frigerated?

- Yeah, for now, I guess.
- Okay.

We have to cook it,
because I think it's time.

- Yeah. For sure.
- You know, the last

barbecue here was a disaster.

Hold--just hold on.

It said "when needed."

The lack of expertise
is alarming.

But you don't know.

If you knew--
- No, no.

I never claimed to know.

So you are in charge.

[laughs]

Yo.

Hello.

Craig! Hey.

Nice shirt. You're doing
the Hawaiian thing big time.

No. No, no, this is like
a backyard barbecue.

I brought collards.

That is what I did.
- That's cool.

We need to grab this tuna out
and marinate it real quick.

Yes.
It sat in my fridge

for five days, which isn't
a longest time in the world.

[playful music]

[chuckling]

Oh, man.

It's a little funky.

Let's make
the executive decision

to jettison the remainder
of the tuna.

Who else coming here?

Pringle, Craig, Chleb.

Sounded like he had
a little story to tell,

so we'll get the scoop on that.

♪

- What's up?
- Mr. Pringle.

- How's it going?
- What you got there?

I got hamburgies
and hotdoggies.

They're made from bulls.

I'm not even gonna
season these.

Guys, let me show you
what I got going on out back.

Let's go outside.
Come on.

We're going out
into the heat?

I don't want to go out
into the heat.

Ooh!
It's hot.

♪

- Hey!
- Hey!

- What up, dude?
- What's going on?

- What do you got here?
- Potato salad.

- Okay, good thing--
- Oh, yeah.

I was this close
to bringing potato salad.

Actually it's Publix, but...

Ah!
[laughter]

What's up, man?
How you doing?

- You want a beer?
- Yeah, I'll take a beer.

Probably should throw this
potato salad in the fridge, no?

Yes, you got to chill.

Dude, I haven't
seen you since--

since Kathryn's thing.
- I know.

I've just been laying low,
just chillin', man.

- Have you?
- Yeah, keeping my head clear.

Okay.

- Hey!
- Yo, yo.

- Craig!
- What do you got?

I feel like this is
appropriate for a boys' day.

- Yes, it is.
- Bottle of rum.

- You need help with that?
- Shep and Tony are upstairs.

I'm gonna make a drink.

Hey.

- Come here.
- Craig, what you got?

Dude, I have
to tell you something,

'cause I thought
everyone already knew.

Is that right?

But I don't think he knows,

and I thought he did,
so I brought a bottle of rum--

She's engaged?

Do we have snacks in here?

Craig thinks
Madison is engaged.

Jeez Louise.

So At 2:00,
she's announcing it live.

So I'm gonna make sure
that I'm not making this up.

How do you think
he's gonna take it though?

I think he'll be indifferent
but, deep down, freaked out.

He might cry and walk out.

I don't think he'll
give a sh-- at all.

I hope not.
I kind of think he's in denial,

and he always thinks they're
gonna get back together,

but hopefully, I'm wrong.

Coming up...

Guys, let's play
a little cornhole.

Cornholio.

[laughter]
- Ah!

[lively jazz music]

Is everybody ready
to start grilling?

- Yeah.
- Definitely.

Look at the size
of these dogs.

You have some
impressive meat, Pringle.

Thank you, buddy.

I'm just gonna
throw these on.

Austen, watch this.

For how long?

Take it off in 30 seconds.

- Are you--
- What's going on?

- I have to pee.
- Okay.

I'm gonna use that plate
to bring these buns.

He looks like he's gonna
put the hot dog in the bun.

That's "Grumpy Old Men."

[chuckles]

So listen to this.

Taylor and I had a little thing
where she was, like--

she was late or whatever.

I don't want
to have kids right now,

but, like,
we don't use protection.

Oh, okay.

So yeah.

I don't know why they aren't
using protection,

to be honest with you.

I guess 'cause it feels good,

but "pull out and pray" is
definitely not reliable at all.

But, like,
what happens if after, like,

another year and a half,
you're like, you know what?

I don't want a kid.
And she's like,

"You just [BLEEP]
with four years

of the best years of my life."

I hate that line
of reasoning.

- No, no. You--
- That's bullsh--.

I didn't enhance
your life at all?

You didn't have fun?

We didn't go
on all these fun trips?

But, like, what you want
to do is go to, like,

you know,
Australia for two months.

- I do.
- Taylor can't do that.

She can come
for a couple weeks.

Okay.

People date for,
like, five years.

I hear about it all the time.
"Yeah, we dated for five years,

"and then we broke up
because we didn't

want the same things,"
or whatever.

But you don't want
the same things.

I don't--I don't know that.

I said I didn't
believe in monogamy,

and that's the thing that she's
gonna have to figure out.

She's gonna have
to figure it out?

Well, we're both gonna
have to figure out.

Your goals and,
like, life aspirations,

I think, are just
way the [BLEEP] off--

They're a moving target.
They're a moving target.

I don't know what I want,

but almost two years,
and I'm happy,

and I don't discount that.

Dude, you are nearing

a "sh-- or get off the pot" era
with you and Taylor.

Shep has never had
to compromise with anybody,

because his whole thing is,
I want to do what I want,

when I want, whenever I want,
and that's that.

You know how much
running around I did

for several, several years,
and I couldn't find anybody

that I could tolerate.

It's selfish,
and it's unfair to Taylor

because you know
what Taylor wants.

Girls like her are not
easy to find.

I know that.

My life is really good,

and she's a big,
big part of that.

[upbeat music]

I think these are close.

Okay.
They are big.

- Are y'all making a plate?
- Oh.

- Take a burger.
- This is a hell of a barbecue.

Slide it in.
Slide it in.

- They look okay?
- Yeah, they look great.

- Mm.
- All right.

Who's got the hands?

Shoots, he scores.

Shep, what are you doing?

I'm giving him some dip.

- Jesus Christ.
- My God.

Amazing.
- This is so fantastic.

- So dope.
- Tony made tuna salad too.

It's good.
- It was delicious.

Guys, let's play
a little cornhole.

- Love it.
- Chleb and Austen

versus me and Pringle.
- Perfect.

I saw people doing it
on TV professionally...

- Craig, stop.
- And they spin it.

Oh.
Craig!

[laughter]

He caught it.

Ah.

- Oh!
- Nice job.

- No, Craig!
- Hey, Craig!

Craig!
Craig.

- Hey!
- Naughty dog, you are.

Chewed a hole in it.

Damn.
- Are we done?

- That's game over.
- All right.

♪

[phone chimes]

- What?
- I don't know.

- You have to sit here?
- Yeah.

Aye, yai, yai.
- Why?

'Cause your ex is doing
something crazy online,

and I think we have
to watch it.

Whose ex is doing
something crazy online?

I'm in.
- She's saying

that she's announcing big news.

Do we really have
to watch this?

Man, the things
that she'll do for--

For attention.

[BLEEP] me.

Hey, guys.

I have been trying
to keep this in

for quite some time

that I am engaged.

Wait, what?
What did I just hear?

Why would you announce it
online?

Pretty good, right?
He did really good.

They've only been together
for, like, five months.

What a poor bastard he is.

To the life of servitude
with ----ing Medusa.

[chuckles]

Did any ex say
congratulations yet?

Well, the ex
that means the most

to me is obviously
my son's father,

and he was so happy for us.

And that is the only person
as far as a ex goes

that meant anything to me.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Everything that she does is, like,

a subtle little,
you know, jab at me.

That's, like, her whole thing.

I mean, as if I needed
any more reason to, like,

not have her in my life, right?

What percentage
do you give it

till it makes it to the altar?

It's not gonna make it
to the altar.

- No.
- Are we making an over-under?

There is a 1% chance
it makes it to the altar.

- How much?
- Come on.

I got some cash.

I want to double my money.

I hope Austen's
feeling relieved.

I don't think
he dodged a bullet,

maybe a cannonball.
[laughs]

- I think she plans a wedding--
- Six months,

over-under before it's over?

Who the [BLEEP] cares?

- [chuckles]
- Yeah.

For a long time,
Madison and Austen thought

they would end up together,

no matter what they had
put each other through,

and I think Austen's
starting to realize

that chapter is closed.

How dare she ruin
my barbecue?

- Right.
- What the hell?

I was trying
to have a barbecue,

she upstaged my barbecue.

What if we turned the corner,
and we're all just, like,

happy for it.

It couldn't happen
to a nicer person.

Could have been you.

Oh, man.

So I got a question
for you, Austen.

When you were dating Madison,

how was, like,
the stepdaddy role?

- He did his homework.
- I picked him up from school.

I did some homework
and stuff with him,

but she never asked for sh--.

The dad was very present.

- That's the true test.
- Yeah.

Kathryn has the kids
every other weekend,

and she wants me
to spend more time with them,

but my job requires me
to work on the weekends.

So, like, I don't really get

to see them the time
that she has them.

She, I think, is nervous that
if she did get more custody,

that you would,
you know, leave.

I'm in a public
custody battle,

going through a lot
of turmoil with Thomas.

- Right.
- And whenever I try and talk

to Chleb, he acts like
I'm being dramatic

or he just looks at me
with a blank stare.

It'd be better
if she had more custody.

She's a very good mom.

Well, that's good,
and honestly, I think it would

go heaps and bounds
if you told her that.

Well, I haven't
been home in a few days.

- You haven't been home?
- Where are you now then?

Uh, with Chelsie.

- Oh, okay.
- Then I got my mom calling me

saying to fix it with her.

I don't know, it just--
it weighs on my heart.

Look, I mean, Craig and I
especially have known Kathryn

since she was 21.

She can burn a bridge

like nobody's ever
burned bridges before.

- Yeah, I know.
- I can see you being like,

I don't want to,
like, just never go home

because of a bad fight,
but maybe sit down and try.

Yeah.
I've called her.

She said she want to have,
like, a little dinner.

So I'ma go back there tonight.

Good luck to you.

This is just
a little argument

going a little too far.

We should be able
to work through that.

I mean, I love her, so.

You got a lot
of sh-- going on, man.

There's a lot of sh--.

My head's, like,
just all over the place.

I'm just--I'm just
processing Madison still.

[laughter]

We're not going down
this road again.

The nail is officially

in all the sides of the coffin.

Coming up...

I actually came here today
to make up with you.

What is it you plan to say?

Sh--.

[laid-back music]

♪

The meat balls.

Hey.

I'm back.

How are you doing?

You've been gone, like,
almost an entire week.

Where have you been?

Chelsie's.

What you cookin'?

Oh, my God.

You just, like, ghosted me.

I didn't--I didn't ghost you.

We got in a fight, that's all.

I thought Chleb was gonna
be my forever person,

but now it's like,
I don't know,

I feel like he has one foot in,
one foot out

or something like that.

Do you want to be
with me, Chleb?

I actually came here today
to make up with you.

How?
What is it you plan to say?

I want to come back home.
I--like, I love you.

Okay, but I've got
a lot going on,

and I feel like
you lack empathy

for what I'm going through.

Let's reverse back
to the point.

It's all
your feelings though.

Because I'm
the only one opening up.

It's like I don't
even have any feelings.

You don't give a--you don't
care about my feelings.

All I do is try
and understand you.

So listen to me sometimes.

I love you, and I--I want
to make it work with you.

But you can't just
have a relationship,

reach a problem,
and abandon ship

because you'd rather
not deal with it.

I just needed some space.

But I'm here now.
Let's talk about it.

Are you kidding me?

[tense music]

♪

Sh--.

Chleb, I just don't know
if I can--

Here, you have a plate,
let's sit down.

Which side is mine?

Doesn't matter.

Do you think this can work?

Obviously,
I'm trying to make it work.

I don't know.

Over the past several days,

I've just thought a lot
about what I need

and what I have not been
getting in this relationship.

Like, I feel like you're
emotionally unavailable,

and, you know,
I've been in relationships

with emotionally
unavailable people.

And I haven't
seen you taking the steps

to fulfil the role that I...

would like someone to fill.

It's hard to fill that role,
because I didn't know

what I was getting into
before dating you.

Like, three months
into our relationship,

you threw the kids
straight on me.

That's what scares me
as well, you know?

When I see you and Thomas going
through this battle,

it makes me pull back,
because it's a lot.

It's a lot for somebody to--
to really go through.

I definitely come with a lot.

I've got two children.

I've got their father and I
in a custody battle.

But if you're feeling
overwhelmed emotionally,

maybe you should just not
be in a relationship.

I thought we were really
building a solid foundation

for a solid future,

but this is not working.

I think we just need
to just, you know,

calm down and clear our head.

I can't keep trying

if I don't feel
like you're trying.

I never pictured
what the moment would be like

when we really, like,
went our separate ways.

But I really think that
that's the best thing

for you and for me.

Ah, sh--.
I don't want to.

Damn.

I would say after the guys
I have dated historically,

I wanted, like,
number one value, like,

be kind, be a good human.

But sometimes
that's not enough.

This is tough
for me right now.

I'm gonna go grab some stuff.

Sorry.

[tense music]

♪

On the next episode
of "Southern Charm..."

- Should I text her?
- Yeah.

- "Hey" with three Ys.
- That's weird.

"We should grab a drink."

Period?
- No.

Punctuation is worse
than emojis.

You haven't ever
really said, like,

"If things were to ever happen,

you can trust me
to be faithful."

Where do you think I'm going?

What do you think I'm doing?

Like, she just thinks
everything I say--

- You don't care.
- But I do care.

I don't know how to show
the emotion like that.

Is it worth it?

Venita, happy birthday!

Thank you. Oh, my God,
it looks so good.

I went ahead and invited
Kathryn and Olivia.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm hoping positive vibes.

Mm-hmm.

I put forth
that from this time forward,

we have a clean slate.

- Cheers.
- Whoo!

But there might be people
who have issues.

You first.

You second.

That's, like,
very condescending, Venita.

- It's not.
- Kathryn, you know she--

Shut the [BLEEP] up, Naomie.

No F-words please.