All language subtitles for Southern Charm S07E13 Secrets Revealed 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

- You probably have more money
than I do at this point.

- Invested, probably.

- Even though
"Southern Charm" season seven

is over...

- What did y'all talk about?
- I have no idea.

- There's one thing you can
count on in Charleston.

- Chest bump. Ooh!
[laughs]

- There's always more fun...

- I would totally donate
my sperm.

- Or funny...

- I'd like a conjugal visit.

I don't necessarily
want to sleep in the bed

with you all the time.

- Yo, I cannot.

- A lot more booze...

- God!
- Austen sucks.

- Bro!
[laughter]

- And, of course,
there are so many secrets.

- I might have children
with Kathryn.

How was the kiss?
- Ew.

- You guys cannot put that
on national television.

- [chuckles]

- Congratulations.
Seven years, y'all.

- Hey, Trop Hop.
- [laughs]

- You're drunk,
and it's 9:00 a.m.

- What's going to happen to me
by the fourth

----ing interview?
- I don't know!

- This is "Southern Charm:
Secrets Revealed."

- Quiet on the set.
- Quiet on the set.

- Time to go to work.

- ♪ Mm-hmm ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, welcome
to Rappahannock Oyster Bar.

- Hi, nice to see y'all.

- I remember the time
that me and Austen met Taylor.

Shep told us
that he was bringing a girl

to his hunting house and was
like, "Come up here."

And Austen and I went.
- Drink.

- I'm in the middle
of a ----ing story.

- I don't care.
Drink, Craig.

- So Austen and I went
to Shep's hunting house and--

whatever they're called--

the place
where he shoots stuff.

- A hunting lodge.
- A hunting lodge.

- We don't know how to hunt.
- And I was bothered

that she was gonna be there,
'cause I didn't know her yet.

Taylor pulls up
the same time as us,

and she couldn't
have been sweeter.

- And then
Craig and I were like,

"Why isn't she our girlfriend?"

- Yeah, I mean, we were like,
"This doesn't make sense."

Like, she should be with us,
not Shep.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Sorry, I'm really wet.

- You are?

- It's nasty out there.
- [laughs]

- Here, let me get your chair.

- Oh, thank you, kind sir.

[mid-tempo music]

♪ ♪

- Here's some wineglasses.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Let's get the ceviche...
- Okay.

- And then oyster shooters.
- Okay.

- I ordered us red wine,
if that's okay.

- Yep.

- She's an expensive date.
- [laughs]

- Do you want to do the taste?
- Yeah, let her do the taste.

She's got a real--she's got
a very sophisticated palate.

- Should I send it back?

- [laughs]
Mmm.

[laughs]
- No, let it breathe.

- I smell the afterbirth.
- You got to do this.

[imitates whirring]

- Should I listen to it?

- [chuckles]

- Fantastic.
- Wonderful.

- Fantastic, perfect.

Every drink we have,
she likes me a little more.

- [laughs]
- If you can't legally drink

or, well, basically graduated
from college,

you're pretty
much disqualified.

I think
that's a good rule of thumb.

- If you were born
after 2000,

after the millennium.

No? Like, that's...
- Yes. Yes.

That's what I just said.

That's a disqualifier.
- Yeah, right, okay.

This is my girlfriend.
She has wheelies on her shoes.

- [laughs]
- Yeah.

- Oh, beautiful, thank you.

- You might want to take
a little sip first

'cause that is a big one.

- Hers has hot sauce in it.

♪ ♪

That was a lot.

- That's what she said.

- Oh, boy.

I'm not saying I don't like it.
- [laughs]

- I've already
had a rough day, Taylor.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God,
I weighed myself today.

- Oh, no.

- I weigh 221, 2 pounds.

- Fat.
- Fat-boy.

- [laughs]
- Fat boy status.

- I personally don't
think you need to lose weight.

- You don't want me to be
ripped?

- No.

- You've never dated
somebody in really good shape?

- Hell, no.

- If you are sitting at home
worried that

there's not someone for you,
I promise you there is.

- I promise to stay
in bad shape.

[both laugh]

- The guy does not
brush his hair,

his mom still dresses him,
and he has plumber crack.

There's just not too many
redeeming qualities,

but she is obsessed with him

and thinks all of that stuff
is adorable.

- Yeah, is adorable and hot.

- So there's someone
for everyone.

- Hmm.

- You just might have to wait
until you're in your 40s

to meet them and still hang out
at college bars.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Beer, beer?
- Yeah.

- Here you go.
These might be a little warm.

We may have to sub
something you have,

or we can just suck down them.

Get you buzzed faster.

What's been going on?
You're good?

School?
- Yeah.

Everything's good with me.

I can't wait to see your house.
- It's so dope.

- What's going on
with your love life?

- You're looking at it.
- [laughs]

- I don't love
going downtown a lot.

- Yeah.
- It's too young for me.

- Yes.
My friend was telling me

that he was, like,
drunk at a bar,

and this cute
20-something came up,

and then they were kissing
at the bar

and having the best time,
and then three of her friends

came over pulling her off,
going, "He's old."

- Ugh.
- [laughs]

- Um, yeah.
- Mm. [mumbles] Pause?

Oh, my God.
- I mean, I--

- The pause says it all,
people.

- Here's my advice.

I would shoot for over 32...

- Mm-hmm.

- Under 75.

- Mom's 76.

- Remember that old guy
I dated for a second?

I went to the movies
with him.

- That's right.
- You said Dad and him

were in the living room
comparing class rings.

[both laugh]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, girl, what's up?

- Come on in.
Have a seat.

What's going on?
I need to know everything.

- I need to know everything.

So, actually,
I'm going to a rosé party

at the Bennett Hotel.
- Oh.

- Like right after this.

Very pink, like, room.
What is it called?

Camillus or something?

- I don't know.
Look at the ceiling.

The ceiling looks
like a vagina...

a glittered one.

- Girls want to know
everything.

- Oh, right.

They're like, "how big was it?"
Like, "What happened?"

"How long did he last?"
"What did he do?"

"What'd that tongue do?"

Like, everything.

- I feel like that would
make me so uncomfortable

if you started to divulge,

like, details of your hookup
to me.

I would just be like,
"I'm leaving."

♪ ♪

- I would love
if you came by Austen's thing.

Shep will be there,
so that'll be interesting.

- Does he still talk about you?
- Yeah, of course he does--

who I slept with when Austen
and I weren't together.

And I'm like, "Are you just mad
'cause that will never happen?"

Sorry, dude.

- Did you and Shep
know each other,

like, before you and Austen

started dating?
- Yes.

Shep tried to get with me,
and I was married.

- And you weren't into him,
and that's where it comes from.

- Yes.
- That's what it is.

Yep.
- Yep.

I bet his dick is so ugly.

- [laughs]
I don't remember.

- Oh, God.

I can't believe you did that.

- I was 21.

- Would you do it again?
- No, gosh, no.

- Like, how many
times that you do it, though?

- A few.

- A few?
I thought it was just once.

- No, it was, like,
maybe, you know,

two or three or something.
- Gross!

- I was wild and crazy
back then.

- What are you now?
[laughs]

- I don't know.
It's been a while.

The most action I get
is at the airport

when they have to pat me down
'cause I have hair extensions.

- Oh, my God.

Are you gonna sleep
with Pringle?

- Oh, God.
Come on, no.

- I mean--
- What am I?

Like, the test-drive
for everyone in this group?

- Yeah.
[laughter]

- Hilarious.

- Coming up...

I used one of them to stab
the bad guys the other night.

- We were both like, "Dude, I
think someone's in the house,"

and so we crawled
around the house with knives.

- The only person you
would've stabbed is Austen.

- Accidental stabbing.

[upbeat music]

- Are you seeing anybody?
- No, girl.

- Really?

- Really.
- Hmm.

- Honestly, I'd be
totally fine being with me.

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

Somebody asked me how long
it's been the other day,

and I was like,
"I don't even know.

I can't even tell you."
- I hope you have a drawer.

- I do.
I have a big drawer.

The drawer's gotten really big.

- If I wasn't with Lamar,
I'd just be with me.

Like, it's so much work.
It's so much work.

That's why we have to have
two different bathrooms

in such a big house.

Like, I like to have, like,
a conjugal visit.

- Ha!

- You don't have
to share a bathroom.

I need a guest bathroom,
I need my bathroom,

I need my husband's bathroom,
I do not want to be using

the same bathroom
as my husband's using.

Like, I don't want to know
you like that.

- So, wait, does he know that
you actually go number two?

- No, we don't talk about that.
- Oh, my God!

Ready?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- What can I do for you?

- Well, this is
a former engagement ring.

- We are experts
on former engagement rings.

[both laugh]

- Todd threw a complete
dagger into my life plan

because I assumed
by the time I was 35,

you know, I'd be married
and had children.

So I was wondering
if you could appraise it,

possibly buy,
if you're interested?

- We buy and broker.

But first thing, let me
introduce you to our appraiser.

This is Chevis Clark.
- Hi.

- My pleasure.
- Hi. Leva.

I'm just here
for emotional support.

- Okay.
Oh, that's a beautiful ring.

Nice oval diamond.

Let's take a look at it.

♪ ♪

It has no damage on it at all.

- I'm shocked about that.

[both laugh]

I'm ready to get rid of it.

I mean, if I can use what it's
worth to help me freeze eggs.

- I think it's really special.

- I'm gonna freeze those eggs
and then sperm bank.

Wouldn't that be crazy?
- [laughs]

- I have not donated sperm.

- Oh, my God.
How wild would that be?

- I would totally donate
my sperm.

Yeah.
Why not?

- I think, sperm, you'd
probably get, like,

500 to 1,000 bucks.
- I think--no, I think

you get, like, 100 bucks
per jack-off or something.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God!
- [laughs]

What if I would--
- Can you imagine?

- What if I would end up with--

[both laugh]

Oh, Danni.
- All right.

- ♪ Dun, dun, dun ♪

- Okay, I got
a valuation for you.

Now, this is the best I can do.

The appraisal amount is
$22,250.

- Get your eggs!
- [chuckles]

Yeah,
these are paying for eggs.

I'm freezing my eggs, so...

- That's a first
for you, right?

[both laugh]

- And I'll take possession
of the ring,

and we'll find some clients
to make an offer on it.

- Perfect.
- All right.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.

- Some good juju--sorry, I was
trying to wave over it.

But, yes, good to meet you.

- Yes, we owed you
some good juju.

- Okay.
Thank you.

Thank y'all so much.
- Thank you.

- Y'all have
a wonderful day, too.

- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- This is the biggest
cutting board I have ever seen.

- Well, we have lots
of vegetables to cut.

What about this?
Look, it says "K" for "Kroll."

- That's not a cutting board.
That's cheese board.

- Oh, really?

- Did Mom give you that?
- Mom did give me that.

And she also gave me the thing
that's in your hand

and the thing that
that I'm using over here.

- Anything she didn't give you?

- Okay, enough
with the cutting boards.

- Oh, is this...?
- That's Craig's.

- Craig's bracelet?
- Yes.

He wears bracelets,
he's kind of feminine,

and he thinks
that we're dating.

- You and Craig?
You are.

- I mean, if, like,
you laid out those details

and, like, you just didn't say
that it was, like, Craig,

you would assume
that I was talking about,

like, you know,
Madison or something.

- I was definitely
a third wheel

in this relationship,
and not only that,

I was like, "Hey,
if you leave me, I get it.

Craig is smoking hot.
Like, go ahead."

- I mean, you should
probably use a fork.

- I think you're right.
- What's up?

- Chili flakes and salt,
pepper.

Hi, oh, my God.
- Hey, buddy.

- Good morning.

- [laughs]
What?

- What are you making?
- Avocado toast.

- Avocado toast, huh?

You know, I think I'm the one
person that doesn't like that.

- Look at you guys.
- Have you ever seen

a cutting board
bigger than this?

- No, have you ever
learned to chop things before?

- This is the dullest knife
I've ever used.

It is not my fault.

- Katie...

Give it to her, Craig.

Okay, deep down, I'd be fine
with Craig dating my sister.

- [laughs]
- Can Pringle date my sister?

That maniac?
No.

And then you have Whitney--
obviously laughable.

Imagine a 52-year-old
with a 24-year-old.

No--well, that's kind of
like Shep and Taylor.

[laughs]

- Look at this knife.

- I used one of them to stab
the bad guys the other night.

- That's true.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Katie, I came in,
he was asleep on the couch,

and there's
a knife on the end table.

And I said, "What's a knife
doing here?"

He was like, "I slept on
the couch, and I was scared."

- Yeah, there were bad,
like, thunderstorms,

and I was watching
a scary movie.

- Actually,
this one time in Charlotte,

we wake up after a big night
of drinking,

after a Panthers game,

and Craig and I both have,
like, you know,

kitchen knives next to our bed.
- This was bad.

We invited the person
that gave us a ride

from the bar into the house,

and then we forgot that
we invited him into the house.

He was coming
out of the bathroom,

and we were both like, "Dude, I
think someone's in the house."

And so we crawled around
the house with knives

and played out
this entire scenario.

Maybe we should stop drinking.
- I know.

We shouldn't tell people that.
- I know.

- The only person
you would've stabbed is Austen.

- Accidental stabbing.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- That's how I found Michael.

His employer passed away.
- 100 years old.

- But I called him
right after the funeral.

She hadn't
even been buried yet.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- I had a lot of offers,

but Mrs. Altschul was the
first one that actually came

with the scratch.

[both laugh]

- Oh, no.
I knew what it would take.

You probably have more money
than I do at this point.

- Invested, probably.

- Probably.
[laughs]

- Mrs. Bosswood
left me a lot of money.

- Did she?

Oh.

Good.

Then I can reduce your salary.

[both laugh]

- How do you want
to have it hung?

You want to lower or higher?

- You know what?
That's the right position...

- Yeah.
- Right.

- But the hook is too high.
- Yeah.

- At a later date, I'll worry
about moving the nail down.

- And putting a light on it.

- It looks terrific, Pat.
- I love it.

It's just perfect in that spot.
- Yeah.

- My interior designer,
Mario Buatta,

who decorated
four homes for me,

three of which were
in "Architectural Digest."

- Higher, higher.
Right about there.

- Makes such a big difference.

- Hi.

- Hey, darling.
- How are you?

- Hey, Whitney.
How you doing?

- Those trousers
look like a cheap hotel.

- [laughs]

- There's no--no ballroom.
- [laughs]

He passed away recently,

and his estate
was up at auction,

and I wanted something
from Mario

that was his and only his.

- You really did
get a fantastic painting.

- The best.

- Well, I just loved
it immediately.

I looked at all of them.

I bid and bought

what I thought was the best
of his dog paintings.

And I love the fact that it was

in his bedroom.
- Yeah.

- I miss Mario every day.

Yeah, I get teary, so I don't
want to talk about it.

[chuckles]

You know what?

I keep this
on my stand over there.

- Oh, my God.

- Mario gave us each a copy
when they first came out.

- "To Pat, with fond memories

"of working together

"on several beautified houses.

With love, Mario."
- "Mario."

- And he presented me
to Mrs. Altschul.

- Yeah, that's how
I found Michael.

- That's the most
incredible story.

- Michael's employer
had passed away.

- 100 years old in seven days.

- Wow.
Wow.

- And Mario
was her decorator.

- At the memorial,
Mario kept

bumping into me, going,
"You got to talk to Pat."

[both laugh]

- As soon as I heard
Michael was available,

I was shameless about it.

I called him
right after the funeral.

I mean, she hadn't even
been buried yet.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- [whining]
Daddy!

- Are you guys moping?

- No.

- This is kind of
our first venture into town.

- What are we doing
right now, though?

- I'm gonna show you--

We're gonna pull up
where Grumpy grew up

and check it out
for, like, a few minutos.

- Why?

- Because I think it's
important

that you see a little bit
of the history here.

This is where all
of your ancestors were from.

- I'm starving.

- Oh, we're coming up on it.

This is where Grumps grew up.

Let's check it out.

Anytime something happens,
I'm like,

"What would my dad do?"

He's like a beacon
of just, you know, badass-ness.

All right, you ready?
- No.

- Here we go.

Extremely intelligent,

Like, when you're watching
"Jeopardy!,"

just rattling them off,
stuff like that.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm good at "Jeopardy!."

- But also...

can work on a car,
can fix a car.

- I can't do
either of those things.

- This is it.
- Which one?

The ugly one or the cool one?

- Which one's the cool one?

- That one.
- That's the one.

He's just, hands down,

the most impressive person
I'll know in my life.

- That's your dad?
- That's my dad.

- That's awesome, man.

- That's where
you're Grumpy grew up, yeah.

It's definitely beautiful,

but I do remember it being
a little bit spook-a-looky.

You know, your aunts and I
were pretty sure

this place was haunted
when we were kids.

- Why?

- 'Cause there's apparently

an old Civil War woman
who lived here

from the Civil War.

- I don't want
to believe in ghosts, but--

- Patrick Swayze?
- [laughs]

- "Ghost."
- I don't want to--

I mean, like,
"Angels in the Outfield."

- We just aged each other.
- [laughs]

- She was a friendly ghost.

- Are ghosts even real?

- I mean, I don't know.

It's kind of like believing
in leprechauns,

but at the same time,

I like the idea of a spirit
stuck in between worlds,

wandering around
menacing people.

It's exciting.

- Can we go in the house?

- I don't think we can go
in the house, buddy.

- Someone owns this.

- Yeah, someone does own it.
Your great-grandfather.

He bought this house
in, I believe, 1946.

But I came here as a kid
here and there, but, really,

I played in that park
right over there.

Apparently, I would pee
on all the flowers.

I'd be climbing on cannonballs
and stuff.

- Can we go to the cannonballs?
'Cause this is kind of boring.

- Let's get a picture.
- No.

- We'll ask this guy.

Hey, mister, can you take
a picture of me and my boys?

- Sure.
- Okay.

- What are their names?

- This is Quinn.
- Quinn.

- And this is Asher.

- Asher.

I know some boys
with those names.

- You do?
- Boys!

It's your Grumpy.
- [laughs]

- Did you know that?
- I could hear his voice.

- Huh?
You knew my voice?

- Yeah.
- Come here, buddy man.

Oh, how's my guy?
I've been missing you.

Hey, buddy.

Oh, can I lift you?
Oh, maybe.

- How long's it been
since you saw them?

- I could tell him
by his voice.

- Could you tell?
Was that a good surprise?

- I tried to disguise
my voice, buddy.

- Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you.

- Thanks for coming.
- Yeah, sure.

- You happy to see your Grumps?
- Yeah.

- So I thought
maybe you can tell us

a little bit about the house.

- Sure.

Probably built
before the Revolution,

and up in the attic,
you can still see chalk marks

where British soldiers--
they occupied it.

They marked some of the wines
they had stored up there.

When I was growing up,

the first two porch levels
were screened

because the house
wasn't air conditioned, so...

Hey, boys, we used to sleep up

on the second level on cots
in the summertime.

- Would you guys like that--
if you could sleep outside?

- But anyway...
Come on, guys.

- You did good.

The family heritage
of the Pringles.

- But I didn't fool you?

I didn't fool you guys?
- No.

- All right.

- Coming up...

There's no way
that you sleep apart.

- Yes, we do.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[car door closes]

♪ ♪

- Is this the doorbell?

[doorbell rings]

♪ ♪

- Welcome.

- You have a Nest doorbell?

- Well, I think I'm--
- That's so cool.

- Well, um...

Yeah, so...

- It's already set up.

- Well, yeah,
that's the point.

- Oh, my God,
you have a backyard?

- Yeah.
I can have my garden again.

- Look, you have a little shed
to keep all your tools in.

- I know, right?
I like it.

- I like that it has
good vibes to it.

- Aw.
- "KD."

- I guess I have to take it
now, right?

Aw.
- Yeah.

It's "home sweet home."

- How are things
with your living arrangement?

Being at Thomas's?

- I stay in my quarters.

- There's no way
that you sleep apart.

- Yes, we do.
- Have you hooked up?

- No.
- [laughs]

That's such a--
Kathryn, that's a lie.

- Like, literally one time,
like, a few months ago.

- What happened
when you woke up?

- I was like,
"Meh, don't miss that."

[both laugh]

- If it wasn't for Shep
breaking guy code,

I might have children
with Kathryn.

- That is
the most shocking thing

I've heard in 2020.

- 'Cause I had a crush on her,

and then she hooked up
with Shep.

both: How are you?
Good to see you.

- And then I did not
have a crush on her anymore

because there's nothing
more unattractive to me

in the entire world than
thinking Shep's attractive.

- I think girl code
is a little stronger

than bro code--
I mean, they're dogs.

They think with one head
and it's not this one, so...

- Did you know that Pringle and
I kissed, like, a few times?

- How was the kiss?

- It was not bad.

- Oh, all right.

- We played
a little kissy face.

- You made out after
the "Dumb and Dumber" party.

- "Dumb and Dumber" party.

Making out is strong.
I mean, it was, like, more--

- I love that, I love that.
Is that your move?

- [laughs]
It was more kissy face.

I wouldn't have really
even known

except next day, my suit
had, like, a lot of

makeup on it,
and I was like, "Huh."

- It was as if you had
just hugged Donald Trump.

[both laugh]

- Wait, so do you like him?
Or...

- I don't know.
I think he's cute.

But he's got his own thing
going on with Madison.

I don't like to get involved,
but, like,

I kind of just got swept
under the rug.

- Patricia is behind
all of this.

- I don't want any issues
with Patricia.

- I love her, too, but--
- However, with Madison--

Madison kind of reminds me
of myself a few years ago,

and yet she's, like,
totally okay

with Madison being that way.

- Like how you were.
- Yeah.

- That's true, I never thought
about it like that.

- Yeah.
- 'Cause she accused you

of looking for guys for money.

- I mean, she's a scandal,
a shameless strumpet.

- But she's trying
to set Madison up...

both: With guys...
- Who make money.

- For the money.
- For the money.

- Yeah, that's true.

Patricia's track record
is not great.

- Yeah.
Landon and Thomas, no.

- Ashley.
- Ashley and Thomas, ooh.

- And then she told Ashley--
or she told Landon

to go for Shep.

- Oh, yeah.
And that was a fail.

- Maybe I love you.

Are you okay?
Did you get excited?

- Oh, that's a bad one.

- Yeah, so I think
she just entertains herself

by getting involved and doesn't
really care that much.

All right,
let's get out of here.

- Octopus.

- Oh, got me.
- Yeah, I know.

- [laughs]
- Mom life.

We got the cool tricks.
- I know, right?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- What's up, buddy?

It's Pringie.

I don't know, recovering.

I was thinking I might go
get this recovery juice,

if you're interested, and maybe
come over and talk some sh--

with you about last night.

[laughs]
What are you doing?

Laying in bed.

It is 3:00.

[chuckles]

- When you're hungover,
you rationalize

and procrastinate
everything in your life.

It's just like, man, we're 41.
Like--

When are you gonna not do that?

- The hangovers last
till Wednesday or Thursday.

- Monday,
I can take a Monday off.

And then I'm okay.
- Really?

You don't have any Wednesdays
where you're like,

"I can't believe
I still feel like dog sh--."

- No.
Well, you're 42, right?

- 44.
- Oh, no.

[laughs]
- 44.

♪ ♪

Hey, bubba.

- Yo.

- What are you doing,
little guy?

- What up?
- You.

Here, take this.
I'm sure you need it.

They didn't have--
- I'm back, baby!

[both laugh]

- That's good.
- I'm back!

Craig, do you want some juice?

- You got to get up.
- No, no, no, you're right.

Did you get some sleep?

- Yeah, I did.
It was a hell of a night.

- It was fun.
I got no regrets.

- Like your shirt.
- [laughs]

I'm not--I'm not weird.
I'm not--I'm not obsessed.

- Last night I bailed.

- Yeah, I hit a wall, too.

I was just like,
"Night's over."

- Tony and Craig--

- They stayed up
talking way late.

- I did an Irish goodbye
to both of them.

I think I--
Hi. I love this guy.

- I know.

- I got to say--

- This is great.
This is great.

- Is it good?
- You're a good man.

- Dude, loved Conover.

- Craig?
- I'm a huge fan.

Yeah, of Craig.
- He is great.

- He took me under his wing.

- Yeah, well, you know, if you
listen to his long stories,

you're his best friend.

[laughs]
- I guess so.

"Pringle, are you gonna go
for Madison

or are you gonna
be a stand-up guy?"

- He doesn't sound like that.
He's like, "Hey, Pringle,

"are you going
to go to Madison?

What are you gonna do?"

- I think he sounds more raspy.
Like Pringle...

- Well, that's because he,
like, popped his vocal cord.

He used to have a real nasal--
I mean, my voice is terrible.

So I can't really--
- I think it's more like a...

[raspy voice]
"Hey, Pringle."

Something like that.
- [laughs]

- He was like, "I was worried

"you were gonna be
another Shep,

but you're actually cool."

And I was like, "Thanks man."
I was like, "Shep's cool."

- That's hostile.
That's so hostile.

- It wasn't hostile.
It was in good--

You guys are tight, man.

- I've learned over time
that being supportive of Craig

is more fun than ----ing
with him,

although I do like
----ing with him.

- Well, you named your dog
after him.

- Yeah, that's true.

[laughs]

- Coming up...

- There's fleas in my house.

- Are there fleas
in your pubes?

- You think I have
any pubes?

- Dude.
- Oh, my God, Craig.

[mid-tempo music]

- Craig.

♪ ♪

Your namesake's
on his way over.

Want some salami?

Come on, dog.

♪ ♪

Do you want cheese?

Is that all you ever wanted?

- Yo.

- Oh, the two Craigs.

The meeting of the Craigs.
[chuckles]

- It's war, man.

What's up?
- Good to see you.

- You too.

- Do you like cheese
on your hot dog?

- Not, like, melted cheese.
Shredded cheese.

- By the way,
Craig's writing a book, too.

And it's a cookbook?

- No, it's a ----ing, uh...
a memoir.

- Oh, oh, good!
I thought it--

Was cooking involved?

- No, that's next.
- Oh, that's next, okay.

Well, you know,
he's quite a chef,

except on the grill.

- "Use propane in combination
with charcoal when necessary."

I think we--
- Hold on, just hold on.

The gas has nothing
to do with it.

- But don't you
have to flip the ribs?

- "When needed."

- The lack of expertise
is alarming.

- I've never smoked anything.

- Yes, but you said
you were a grill master.

- Is this normal grilling?
- Essentially.

Here, give Little Craig
some cheese.

- Good boy.
Look how calm he is.

- [chuckles]
Good boy.

Yeah, boy.
- That's a lot of cheese.

- No, he's into it.
- I know he's into it.

- Come on, let's go outside
and make some hot dogs.

Craig and I's relationship
has come a long way.

I think we can
both agree with that.

- And as much as we
don't see eye to eye

and we disagree on pretty much
everything on this planet,

we still want what's best
for each other,

so we can trust each other.
- That's right.

By the way,
can you get hot dog juice--

- Yeah, they're already cooked.

- So, it's not--it's not
like chicken with...

trichinosis?

Okay, good.

- You can eat the hot dog
right out of the package.

- I know, I used to do that,
low-key.

Do these look ready, Craig?

- Just let them cook
a little longer.

- I like mine this way.

All right, these are cooked.

♪ ♪

- So, are you and Taylor good?

- Yes.

Taylor, she--we--no.

Oh, God.

- Are we gonna eat right here?

- Hell yeah.

- They're ----ing good.

- Summer dogs, man.

- So Natalie just
moved back, huh?

- Yeah, she signed
a lease here.

- We had a lot of fun
with those two.

Like, you know,
all the four of us together.

- Yeah, me, you,
and Taylor and Natalie.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Shep has been part
of my sh--,

where, you know,
sometimes your partner

wants to talk to the friend

instead of the person.
- That's right.

We're creating a new alliance.
- We are.

It's just me and you.
- Thought you were hugging me.

- It's me and you from now on.
No, I'm serious, Craig.

And Taylor's been
a great friend to Natalie,

and so they talk and--
- Yeah.

- It's a good--
it's a good foursome.

- It's been
an interesting time.

- It's like we're golfers.

[both laugh]

So let's just, like, all move
to, like, an island.

- I'm down, I'm down.
- That would be fun.

All right.

I'll do some spear fishing.
You pick the papayas.

[laughs]
- All right.

- Dude, that's what
I want to do.

We open up a little ----ing
30-room hotel.

We have a swim-up bar.

- Well, you need
some sort of way

to see who has to tell Austen
he's not invited.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm looking around
for a clock on your floor

for some reason, but--

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Your call been forwarded

to an automatic
voice message system.

[line beeps]

- Kathryn, what's up?
It's Pringle.

I am sitting at the bar
to have some pizza

and I was pumped to see you
and catch up.

I just wanted to see
what was going on.

Just let me know.

Okay.
I'll talk to you later, bye.

[mid-tempo music]

♪ ♪

Oh, my gosh.

♪ ♪

She was two hours late.

[both laugh]

- She was two hours late?

- Like, something--I mean,
it was a long time.

♪ ♪

- Hi.

I made it.
Oh, my God, how are you?

- You made it.

- Like, you're not a star.

You know,
not ----ing Judy Garland,

who she thinks she is.

- This place is super cool.
- These are dope.

Super cool, right?
He's, like, my buddy.

So he was like,
"Y'all come in and try it."

- We're, like, VIP right now.

- We're the first people
to ever eat...

This is Isabel.

She's also a friend.
- Hi.

- Fellow redhead.
Nice to meet you.

- Oh, yeah.
Got to stay together.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Today our cocktail
is rosé mule

with Sweatman's ginger beer.

- Sounds great.
- Awesome.

- Well, I'm glad
you could come hang.

I want to hear how Kensie
and Saint are doing.

- They're great.
- Yeah?

- Kensie has ordered now over
$2,000 worth of LOL dolls...

On my Amazon account.
- Oh.

♪ ♪

Lots of packages.
Yay.

- My kid just ordered
a yodeling pickle.

- [chuckles]

- And he sent it
to my parents' house,

so they called me,
and they said,

"We just got
a yodeling pickle."

- [laughs]
- But $2,000 worth of LOL toys?

Brutal.

- So I've got the...
- All right.

- Formaggio and champignon.
- Nice.

- And then here
is the barbecue jackfruit.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Of course.

- When we first separated
and I didn't have them,

like, during, like,
just a few days,

I, like, cr--I mean,
I'm, like, a man,

but I, like,
would cry myself to sleep.

- Oh, my God, yeah.
- And wake up

in the middle of the night

and not be able
to go back to sleep.

I'm sure you went through that.

- I did some weird stuff.

- Like what?

- [laughs]
Like try and soothe myself.

- So did I.
What'd you do?

- I would...

make...

a bottle...

and put honey
in my Dr. Brown's bottles

and drink it at night
to make me go to sleep.

- Okay.

- Because it made me
feel like

I was putting them to sleep.

- Right.
Okay.

It does change you--
having kids.

Okay, well, that's weird.
- It's kind of weird.

[both laugh]

- It's a little bit weird.
- I know!

- But I feel that's great
you told me.

I think that's nice.
- Yeah.

- Maybe I can call you
when I'm sad

and need to give myself
a bottle.

- No, you can't.
- Of wine.

- Oh, that kind of bottle.
- Yeah.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, assholes, you there?

- I am.
- We're all here.

- Hey, buddy.

- All right, I can't sit still
by myself anymore,

so let's play some beer pong.

You guys down?
- Yeah.

I do not like beer games
or drinking games.

I drink of my own volition.

- Whitney,
are you playing with us?

- No, Craig, I'm ----ing
too old to play beer pong.

- [laughs]

- But I will join you
for a glass of vino.

- All right,
you just drink when we drink.

- I'm really good
at beer pong, yeah.

- Yeah, I can see that.
Kathryn's good.

I'd pick her as my partner.

- You didn't pick me
as your partner on Zoom.

Yeah, where was my invite?
Where was my Zoom call?

- Do you know how drunk
I was during quarantine?

[both laugh]

- Craig.

- Is that Whispering Angel?

- Whispering Angel.
- ♪ Whispering Angel ♪

- Is that a sex move?

- [sighs]
- Whitney,

how much you want to bet
"the whispering angel"

is a sex move?

- Gaber brought his
----ing dogs over here

and they have ----ing fleas,

and now there's fleas
in my house.

- Are there fleas
in your pubes?

- Dude.
- [laughs]

- You think I have any pubes?
(BLEEP) you, Shep.

- Oh, my God, Craig.
[laughs]

You're totally bald?

- Craig,
do you have toddler balls?

[laughter]

- Whitney, your ----ing,
like, pubes,

do you dreadlock them?
- Oh, my God.

- I have a full hip to hip.

[laughter]

- Dude, I just used an entire--
- Jesus.

- Rosé pong--
even worse.

- [laughs]

- I stayed home
during college.

I didn't do all that, like,
Jell-O shots, beer pong, like,

that stuff is gross to me.

- You didn't do
the jungle juice?

- I mean, yeah, like,
I like a nice punch.

- Hey, hey, Craig, let's play.

- Let's play.

Three, two, one.

Ugh!

- Could I be any closer?
Okay, I made one!

- Shep, you got to drink.

- You guys suck.

I like to drink at my own pace,

which is probably just as quick
as a drinking game.

[both laugh]

- God!

♪ ♪

- I have not re-racked
them yet. Sh--.

Oh, my God.
[sighs]

- Front cup.
Boom!

♪ ♪

- Craig.

- Shep, drink!

Ah!
- Austen sucks.

♪ ♪

- I have one cup left.

Oh, no, I hit the same cup,
and it bounced out.

- No!

- [shouts excitedly]

- Oh, no.
- Boom, boom!

- Okay, now you have
to play Shep.

- Austen, I'm kind of drunk.

[laughter]

Coming up...

- Oh!
[laughs]

- Sorry, girl.
- I mean...

we need to check this for lice.
[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello.
- Hi.

Welcome.

Like, I have champagne
all ready for you, sit down.

- Your eyes
look, like, very magical.

- Thanks, thanks.
It's a big damn night.

- I'm loving it.

I can't believe Republic's
been open for seven years.

- Cheers to the old days
and now the new days.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Yes.

[upbeat music]

- Hello.
- Madison.

- Hello, babe.

- Hi.
- Well, hello!

- Hi.
- Welcome.

- This place is sick.
- Aw, thank you.

It's for sale.
Come on and buy it, Madison.

- I mean, I might.
- Come on over.

- Hooty-hoo, what's up?
- Hello.

- This is beautiful, Leva.
Thank you for having me.

- Thank you.
You're so welcome.

- Leva, so you don't live here?

- No, we're selling it

'cause it's just not
kid friendly, girl.

Like, in my fantasy life,

me and Lamar were gonna
live here

and have, like, all these,
like, fabulous sexy parties,

and then I literally
just, like,

moved in here and got pregnant.

- Just have both.
- I know, I wish.

[laughs]

Can you all eat,
you skinny witches?

[laughter]

- This is my third deviled egg.

- I'm eating away
'cause I brought Spanx,

so I am all good.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Looking good!
- Whoo!

- You look so good.
- It's kind of shiny.

I was trying to be
a wallflower tonight.

- Yeah, right.
- [laughs] Just kidding.

- So good.
You're peacocking.

- Oh!
[laughs]

- Sorry.
- I mean...

we need to check this for lice.

[laughter]

When I Swiff my apartment,

sometimes I come--
like, her eyelashes,

her thick eyelashes...
[laughs]

I'm like,
"Aw, remnants of Kat."

- Madison is, like,
wearing a great color.

- Wow.

- She's, like,
a little classy,

a little sexy,
depends on her mood.

- Depends on the mood.

- Well, hello.

- What?

- Oh, my gosh!

- You look beautiful.
- Golden ticket.

- Let's take a picture
before we go,

'cause this is cute.

♪ ♪

- Let's go party.
What the (BLEEP) are we doing?

- All right, let's do it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[bell dings]
- Oh, my.

♪ ♪

This music.

- Hi.

- So we have green apple,
blue raspberry, watermelon.

- Y'all want to go old school?

all: Yeah.

- I mean, we're out.
Let's do this.

I'm gonna--
I'm gonna pass it along.

- Cheers.
- Happy anniversary.

- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
Seven years, y'all.

♪ ♪

- How do they do it so well?

- You got to, like, open up.
You got to--

- Honey, you got to take it.
- Yeah.

- I don't want anything
jiggling down my throat.

Like, unless it's--
- Ew.

Ew!

Oh, that's so much--
- I'm just kidding.

Just kidding!
- Oh, I would so much

rather have Jell-O.
- I'm totally being gross.

Let's take more pictures
'cause my makeup's gonna go.

- Cheese.
- Can we all get in?

- Here, I'll put in my arm.
- Hold on, let me--

- Oh, thanks guys.
We get it.

- See you on the ground, bitch.

- Take your jacket off.
- Yeah.

Just be cold for a minute.

- Oh, why do y'all
look so cool?

- Do it like Madison.

Like, I feel like
we're losing this game.

- Oh!

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah, there it is.

- There.

- Lord have mercy.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hey.

- I haven't seen you
in a while.

Hey, stranger.
- Hi.

- Oh, sh--,
they're ----ed up.

- Are y'all ----ed up?

- Yeah, I'm ----ed up.

- Oh, God almighty.
- Baby.

- What?
Just, like, a little bit.

What's wrong with that?

- As soon as I see
it's Austen,

I'm like, "Okay, the vibe
just went down."

- Republic!
Gonna dance!

- Oh, my God!

- He didn't say hello to you.

- I didn't care that
he was rude to me at all.

- It made me awkward
'cause you're my friend.

- Congrats
on the seventh anniversary.

- Thank you.

- We've had some memories here.
- We all grew up here.

- We met baby daddies here.

- Yes!
I was here!

- That's the first night
we ever met.

Literally, the first night
we ever met.

For me,
it was a big time in my life

because I feel like my life

really took
a very different turn

than it could have taken
back then.

- Thomas got headbutted
over there.

- Oh, my God, that's right.

- For real?
- Yeah.

- He got headbutted here.
- That was over there, yeah.

- Craig, I sent her
all these pictures.

Start scrolling through these.

You're in a lot of them.
- Look, look, look, look.

We've all met people here,

we've all, like, started
dating people here.

We've broken up
with people here.

- We would literally
come into work and be like,

"I wonder if Craig's
gonna be in tonight,"

'cause we'd vicariously
live through...

- Yeah, that was fun.
- His dating life.

Peep through the window,
I'd be like,

"No, Craig.
Not that one."

I feel like I was Craig's
big sister for six years

'cause it was, like,
every single night...

- We're dancing!
- "Yeah, I like this girl,

but I don't
really like her that much."

- Yeah, we've had a lot
of fun here.

- We know that
we always have a home here.

This is our safe place, and
we can pop in whenever we want.

- Shep has been escorted
out of here several times.

- A lot--yeah.

- It's a great way
to leave a place.

Like, you're like,
"I was leaving anyway."

- I expected to have
a successful club.

I didn't expect it
to, like, be the Peach Pit,

where everyone
has so many memories.

- It turned into, like,
a yearbook.

- That's a perfect way
to put it.

- We should put it
in a time capsule,

like in, like, senior year--

- If we had a time capsule
from season one--

- That would be amazing,
wouldn't it?

- 'Cause so much sh--
has gone down.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪