All language subtitles for Southern Charm S07E03 A Pair and a Spare 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Previously
on "Southern Charm..."

- It's nice, you know,
to have you here.

- As Kathryn continued
cozying up to Thomas

to avoid moving back

into the house
her grandfather left her.

- We did hook up once.

But it was just
a few months ago.

- What?

- ♪ He's got money ♪

♪ He's in magazines ♪

- Leva proved she wasn't
about to let rumors fly.

- If you hurt somebody
I care about,

we'll have a problem.

[dramatic music]

- Meanwhile, Shep really...

- Peter slept
with Madison.

- Well, sorta tried to tamp
down his urge to gossip.

- I want so badly
to stay out of it.

- ♪ He's got more honeys
than any honeybee ♪

- Cheers.

- And when we all got together
at Austen's beer tent...

- That's outstanding.
- Love it.

- Nice.
Killing it.

- It was the truce heard
'round the world.

- I just hope to God

we don't have
this conversation ever again.

- We won't.
If you're happy, I'm happy.

- Except we had no idea

that someone else was plotting
to break them up.

- What'd you think of Madison?

- Madison, of course,
I think's like, stunning.

But she's, you know,
with somebody.

- I don't think for long.

- ♪ It's easy ♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

- ♪ Mm-hmm ♪

♪ ♪

[upbeat jazz music]

- Sit.
Sit.

No, Luci.
That's not sit.

Sit!
Lucifer!

Aww, good dog.
Good.

♪ ♪

- Put these up here.

Okay.
- [indistinct]

- That's Clem.
And that's Asher.

♪ ♪

- Sh--.
Gotta get to work.

♪ ♪

- It's here.
- This is the big reveal...

[laughter]
For the painting.

There we go.
Ta-da.

"Poodle On Table
With Writing Instruments."

- It's
a representational image.

[ding]

- It's a bit disturbing.

- I want it in the bedroom.

- [laughing]
- Christ.

- Craig.
Yo!

I found your toenail clippers

that you accused me of losing.

- Why do you call them
toenail clippers?

- Isn't that what they are?

- Fingernail clippers.

- Found
your fingernail clippers.

- Craig, your shoes.

- Look, are we just, like,

finding things
to complain about now?

- Look at all the shoes

in my living room and kitchen.

- I don't have
a closet right now, Austen.

- I have all these glasses
down here.

- The house is legitimately,
like, spotless.

- You see spotless.
I don't.

- You're such a crybaby.

- All right.
How do you look today?

[chuckles]
You look great.

- Yesterday was a blast.

I think it worked out.

- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.

I'm stoked.
- I am reveling in it, man.

- I drank 30 of your beers.

It tasted good.

♪ ♪

[microwave beeps]

[dish clanks]

- Yesterday was
a tremendous success.

- Yeah.

- It couldn't have
gone better, man.

Now I'm really starting
to feel myself.

- You were in your element.
You were very engaged.

And you could see how,
like, addicting it is.

But you gotta focus
on your company.

You're the only person that
can get in your way right now.

- Sh--, yeah, Craig.

- But if you--
- Tony Robbins me, man.

- No.
You know what I'm saying.

You need to prioritize.
- [laughs]

- Craig is homeless.

But he thinks he is like
a shark on "Shark Tank."

- It's up to your mindset.

Don't be self-destructive.

Be like, "I'm not gonna let
sh-- distract me

from building this bigger."

You have to raise it.

Things are ----ing awesome.

You literally have a pathway

to be very successful
right now.

So tonight,
let's go bar-hopping,

like, as a celebration.

We were
a little spent yesterday

'cause you had worked all day.

Let's go out tonight.
Go get drunk.

It'll be fun.
- [sighs]

You definitely had
a MARI last night.

- What?

- A mysterious,
alcohol-related injury.

- Man, dog bit me.

[dramatic piano music]

[upbeat percussion music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, man.

I don't even know
where to begin.

♪ ♪

Random junk, electronics.

Oh, my God.
Don't fall.

Ugh.

♪ ♪

(BLEEP) is that?

♪ ♪

Hello?

[knocking on door]

Come in.
[door creaking]

[laughing]

- Oh, my goodness.

What the hell is going on?

- The painters who came in
piled all my crap

into the center of the room.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

So currently, I'm
color-coordinating my books.

'Cause the bookshelves...
- Mm-hmm.

- I want them to be, like...
- Ombre.

- Sure.
- I don't know.

- Is that the right thing?
- Yeah, I mean--

- I mean like,
blues with blues, like--

- Yeah.
I can help with that.

[blows]

Get that dust off.

- It's just hard to keep
the momentum up in here

because of all the memories
and stuff.

- Mm-hmm.

- In the last few months
of my mom's life,

I took care of her here.
- Yeah.

I came by here one time.

Your mom--she was sick,
so I didn't come in.

But I knew you
were taking care of her.

- Like, my last memories of her
are literally in this house.

[emotional guitar music]

It's been really depressing.

You know, she was the person
that I called

and who I talked to
about everything.

We were kind of like sisters.

I feel like every day
is learning what it's like

to live without, like,
your best friend.

- That's gotta be tough.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- So yeah, I'm just staying
with Thomas

while this has
all been worked on.

- Yeah.

- Not back together.
- [snorts]

- I mean, maybe.

- What?

- I mean, the thought
of it, I think,

is what makes me
a little, like, giddy

because it's what daily life
would look like

if we were together.

- Mm-hmm.

- I guess it could work out.

I wonder if it will.

That has run through my head

more than a few times.

He's the father of my kids.

So that, "you never know" thing

is always gonna be
in the back of my head.

Do you ever feel like that
with your ex?

[dramatic sting]

- No.

- Oh.
- [laughs]

- Well, sh--.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

You stoked, buddy?

All right, Craig.

Hang out with other canines.

♪ ♪

Barking's allowed.

Licking's allowed.

[laughs]

Here.
I'll let you run.

♪ ♪

What's up, dudes?

- Hey. How's it going, man?
- How are y'all?

- Whatcha in the mood for?
- Uh, pilsner.

I'll get two of 'em.
Well, I--you know what?

I'm not gonna speak for her.

I'm meeting a friend,
so I'll just have one.

- Okay, cool.

- Yeah, I'll just start a tab.
- All right.

- Craig, where's--Craig?

Craig?
Oh, no.

Craig, get out of that mud!

Craig, no!

- [laughs]
- All right.

- Getting me all muddy.

Come here.
Come here.

Come on.

Come here.

You are gross.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- Just put it on Shep's tab?
- Yes.

- Cool.
- Always.

[laughs]

- Hey.
How are you?

- How are you?

- Craig just jumped
in the marsh.

Almost went into the road.

And he almost went
into the drain.

- Oh, Lucy definitely will.
She's got ADD.

- Um, so does Craig.

[laughter]

- She's like, "I've never seen
something that's little."

- You just can't run
down in the marsh.

Come here.
Come on.

- [laughs]
- Hey!

Here.

Craig is having
the time of his life.

- Shep, I love seeing you
being like a parent.

- I guess I'm a little
domesticated these days.

I'm 40.

- You geezer.

- I got a dog, girlfriend.

- I really like her a lot.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's great.

- You look happy.
- Yeah.

Cameran's chill.

I mean, she's not
like mmm, you know?

Like, that's not in her head.
- Right.

But if you knew
that she had, like,

the goal of being married by...

[tense music]

- It would be
a roadblock in my head.

- Yeah.

- Like--but I'm trying
not to think that way

'cause I'm seeing
this therapist.

- Oh, good.

- I was like,
with relationships,

I get nervous early on

because like,
what if I meet someone else?

- Why are you even, like,
going there in your mind?

- So she said--
my therapist was like,

"You don't think
everyone else thinks,

'What if I meet someone else?'"
- Right.

But like, you get--
- And I was like, "Yeah.

Yes, they probably do."
Right?

- But in your mind, it's like,
three or four months.

And then you're like, "Ugh."
- I know.

So I'm trying not to think of,
like, the worst case scenario,

which I generally don't
in life,

but in relationships,
like sometimes--

- But when you hang around
couples that like,

hate each other
and like, argue all the time,

it's not positive.
[laughs]

- It's all I see.

Craig.

Come here.

You have foam
all over your mouth.

You look ridiculous.

You're the biggest slob
in the whole dog park.

So, um...

I'm never gonna get involved in
Austen's personal life again.

- [sighs]
- I'm tired of it.

So I'm going to dinner
with p--he and Madison.

- Uh.

- If someone comes up to me
with any information,

I'm just gonna plug my ears
and then--

- I mean, that's the best thing
to do, honestly.

- I know.
- And--

Like, you know what I mean?
- Yeah.

I understand.
- And like, after last year,

I kind of just felt
like there was

a little bit
of a scarlet letter.

- I heard you gave
her chlamydia.

- What?
[laughing]

[dramatic music]

- It was so outrageous
and so...

- Yeah.
- I just wanna apologize.

I feel terrible about it.
I really do.

Like, people can be awful.

I'm just glad
our friendship survived

all the craziness
of the last few years.

[indistinct]--no.

- Thank you for having
the heart that you have

and knowing the pain
that I went through,

like, last year.

I know that you know that.
- Yeah, I do.

Where's Craig?

- I think he just ran
down there.

- Oh, no!
- Lucy?

No.
- Craig!

Craig!
- No!

No!
- Craig!

- [laughing]

- I'm gonna need a hazmat suit
to get him home.

- Ugh.
God, dang it.

- Coming up...

- See.
Here she is.

- Oh.
You're screwed.

[whimsical music]

[hip hop music]

[squealing]

♪ ♪

- No.

- Little.

Do you think we're gonna be
able to get him to change?

'Cause I just have
so many meetings today.

Mommy has to go work.

Come on.
- No.

[whines]
- [clears throat]

- I don't know how
to get him inside.

[laughs]
- Momma.

- I don't think I've achieved

a balance of work life
and mom yet.

So we're all prepped for, um...

- Margarita Saturday?
- Yeah.

We're good to go?
- Fully staffed.

- Okay.

Lamar's struggling putting
the baby down to nap,

so I think I'm gonna
get out of here.

- Yeah.

- Let's go inside
and get dressed.

- [whining]

- The terrible twos
came very fast.

- [crying]

- I feel bad.
Oh.

Oh, life is hard.
I know, bud.

- [crying]

- Look, let's make a coffee.

Look at this.

Mommy's Persian teacup.

- Do you wanna press it
for Mommy?

[machine buzzing]

- Careful.

So I was thinking about it,

and I feel like most
of my friends--

they don't know our story.

- Yeah.
- You know?

So I wanna invite them over
for a Persian dinner.

- Mm.

- Okay, So I'm
a little bit complicated.

I am Persian-Iranian
by descent.

I speak Farsi,
grew up in Winnipeg, Manitoba,

and then I moved
to the Deep South.

Yeah, we talk the same.
Look the same.

Go to the same parties.

But I'm very Iruni, you know?
- [laughing]

- And it'll be a nice way

for them to see
that side of my life.

- Mm-hmm.
- Because we're not just

walking around publicly like--
- Yeah.

- With a big Iranian flag
on our forehead.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, you want some more?
Okay.

♪ ♪

- So how many?

- It's just a couple girls.

But you know that like,
I authentically need you

to help me cook.
- Mm-hmm.

- We'll just do a big, nice
mehmooni dinner,

the way you used to
back in the day.

I never cooked
that stuff really.

- Yeah.

- But I do remember that,
like, we would have friends

of different cultures...
- Yeah.

- And everyone would really
enjoy the food,

and we'd tell stories.

- I guess the philosophy
has always been

that we get inspiration

out of getting to know
other people.

- I think now
that my child is two,

I'm starting to realize
I don't want him

to grow up in a place where

he's being treated
as a novelty.

- You always feel closer...
- Yeah.

- By the end of the night.

- So this Persian dinner
is my way to say, like,

"Listen.
I'm wide open.

"You're white.
I'm brown.

"He's Black.
It's cool.

Don't be so awkward."

And for me, it's almost like
taking a part of your mask off.

Mom, guess what I ordered
on Amazon.

I thought I was ordering
a real Persian tea set.

And look what came in the mail.

- [laughing]

- I thought it was like,
such a good price.

- Uh-huh.
[laughing]

[baby crying]

- Online sales.
- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

[birds squawking]

♪ ♪

- Hey, what's happening?
- Hey, how are you?

- Good to see you.
- Hey.

- I see Bella's still alive.
- [laughs]

- That's the oldest dog
in the history of dogs.

- Oh, come on.
Look how cute he is.

- Hi, boo-boo.
How's your stank breath?

- [laughs]
Deadly.

- Hmm.
- [laughs]

- Hey, buddy.
- What's up, bud?

- How are you?
- How's it going?

[both groan]
- Good.

- Do you want wine or beer?

- Uh, both at some point.

- [laughing]
- I'll have both.

Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

- I can't believe
she's still alive for real.

Jenny and I are Irish twins,

15 months apart,

so growing up, we were just
always together all the time,

just raising absolute hell.

She's my best friend.

- We're so happy you're here.

- It's always nice to hang out
over at your house.

- Do we get to talk
to the boys tonight at all?

- Let's see.
I think so.

- [whispering]
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

- Boo-boos?
Boo-boos!

Hi, boo-boo.

- [indistinct]

- Hi.
- You gonna show your dad?

- Mom, I'm gonna fly.

- Okay.
Show him your sweet moves.

- Oh, like this?
- Yeah!

- My boys...

are the greatest thing
that's ever happened.

Can I see your teeth?
- [indistinct]

- They look good, boo-boo.

- Tell Daddy you're having
such a good time.

- Whee!

- Quinn is sweet, sensitive,

will do anything for anybody

if he thinks it makes
them feel better.

Hey, Asher man.
- Asher.

- Hi.

- What did you say?

And then there's Asher.

- Seriously?

- He just called me a butthole.
- [laughs]

- He has got the swagger.

- Hey, Heidi.
- Hi!

- Hey, girl.
How are you?

- I'm good!
- Good.

- When my ex and I met,

things went like that.

Yeah.
It was really quick.

I fell in love with her.

And within like a month,
you know, she was...

with child.

And I think we did our best,
but in the end,

we both started to change.

Now we're much better friends,

and I think we do
a pretty good job co-parenting.

I love you, buddy.

- Huh?
- I miss you, dude.

The hardest part
about being here

is being away from my kids.

Hey.
I miss you guys.

I'm gonna see you
in two weeks, okay?

I get them for ten days
at spring break

and half of the summer.

We're gonna do everything
I did as a kid.

We're gonna ride
around Sullivan's.

We're gonna go crabbing.

They're gonna feel like
it's their home.

- I love you.
Talk to you later.

- Good-bye.
- Bye.

- I miss them so much.
- [indistinct]

- I love--Heidi keeps me
updated with tons of videos,

which is super sweet.
- Yeah.

- I love being in the loop.
- Yeah.

- Let's go on the porch.
- Yeah.

You know, Heidi and I
are getting along--is great

because you remember
how it was for a while.

- Yeah, of course.

You've been through
so much sh--.

So I just wanna make sure
like, you're good

and you're comfortable here.

- Yeah, I'm starting to piece--
get my bearings together.

- Do you see yourself,
like, dating here?

Charleston's like--
- I don't like dating.

I like being in love.

'Cause when you're dating,
it's like, work.

When you're in love,
it's like, the best.

- You have always
been lovesick.

Well, there's
so many women here,

so you have the pick
of the crop, but like--

- Yeah, well.

But then I met somebody cool.

Very--
- Let me guess.

She is super cute.
- Super pretty.

- [laughing]
A blonde.

- A blonde, yeah.
That's my type.

- I know John's type.

- And I'm trying to find...

Well, here I can see--
here she is.

- Oh, gosh.

John, you're screwed.

[whimsical music]

- Coming up...

- Are you two, like,
an actual couple?

- Uh-oh.

- You should have
the talk right now.

- Um...

[upbeat bass music]

- No.

I can't believe it's so rainy
right now.

I mean, I kinda like it.

I feel like, you know,
we need rain

when you live somewhere
very hot, so...

Oh, yeah.

So we're talking
about this thing.

So are you really gonna have
a guy there,

like, feeding us?
- I mean, yeah.

I'm getting somebody
to come into my house

and like, do it up
like it's a Persian palace.

- Are you gonna invite me?
Just kidding.

- [laughs]
I know.

I can't forget you...
- I'm kidding.

- Because you're like
an extension of me.

- Oh, thanks, Leva.

- A year and a half ago,
my middle sister, Mona,

moved here to practice
medicine in the U.S..

As kids, she would bust
into my parties

and start dancing,

or like, tell a boy I liked
I had a mustache, you know?

She's totally different
as an adult.

Now we're best friends.

- Who's coming?
- So Danni...

- Danni, I know, yeah.
- Both Madisons,

Jacklyn and um...

I've been like thinking
of inviting maybe Kathryn.

[tense music]

I'm feeling like you're gonna
be like, "What the F?" Like.

- No, I think that--
- But I feel a little bit--

- No, no, no, don't worry.
- Like, anxious about it.

- No.
Like you know Danni.

And she's--
- They're very close together.

- Yeah, I was gonna say.

Wow, what a really nice person

to be friends
with someone who's--

- Who's not--
- Especially, like,

remember when you were her age.

- Yeah.
- Younger.

Everyone deserves a chance.

[indistinct]

- Kathryn and I definitely--

I think we just need a do over.

- Like we all have
different upbringings so.

- Good point.
- Positive experience.

- Okay.
I'm gonna call her.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Kathryn?

- Um, so I'm calling you
to invite you

to this party Saturday.

Could be a nice way
for us to like,

really genuinely get
to know each other.

- I'm literally turning
my whole house

into like, a Persian palace.

- Yeah.

- Yes, yes.

The theme would be, like,
Persian princess.

Lots of layered jewelry.

Maybe a headpiece.

But don't show up

looking like Jasmine
from "Aladdin."

- Okay.

- You're welcome.

So I'll talk to you soon.
Love you.

- I don't know why
I said I love you.

Too soon?
[laughter]

Too soon for a friendship?
- You'll scare her away!

[laughter]

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- How many fish does Tim have?

- Wait.
One, two, three, four.

Four.

- Five.
- Five?

- Yes.
- [knocks]

[jingling]

- Ugh, thank God.
- Hey.

We are having--
- You look so cute!

- Thank you.
- You wearing this tonight?

- Nah.
I haven't even gotten ready.

We're having trouble
with a math--

- Hey, buddy.
What are we doing here?

Math?

Do you want me to handle this
and then you go get ready,

or...
- Yeah, please.

I'll see y'all in a minute.

- So tell me, Hudson.

How do you know
there are five fish?

- So I drew 12 of cir--
12 circles.

- Okay.
12 circles.

Two years ago,
I wouldn't have swiped right

on someone with, you know,
like a child.

- Five, ten.
- Five, ten.

- Fif...teen.
- Fifteen, yep.

But now that Madison and I
have been dating for a while,

I would be lying if I said
that I haven't thought

"What if

"I was just to just

step in as a step-dad?"

We just got ahead in class.

- What?

- Now when the babysitter
comes over,

you'll have no homework.
- Yay.

Oi!

[knocking on door]

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Hiya, Hudson.

- Hudson's so excited
to have you here.

both: Aww.

- I made spaghetti for him

in here,
and you can heat that up.

He's already done his homework.
- All right.

- Help me pick out
a jacket, Austen.

- All right.

- Should I do
a blue jean jacket

or just this one?

- Boo, you look great.

- Thank you.

Um...
- You ready?

- Yeah, I'm ready.

- But like--like,
are you composed?

- As positive as I can be.

- Hi.
- Hey, how are y'all?

- How's it going?
- Good.

- Uh, Shep Rose.
- Reservation for four.

[tense music]

- This has your name
all over it.

- [laughs]
- Y'all enjoy.

- Oh, my goodness.

Hopefully this'll be
the nail in the coffin

of any sort of angst between--

- Are you gonna talk about it?

Is this a therapy session?
- Nope, nope.

Nope.
I'm--I'm out.

♪ ♪

- There we go.
And then we'll wait

for the other two to get here?

- Oh, let's get
the spicy pepperoni flatbread

just for the table.
- Yeah, perfect.

I'll get that right in
for you guys.

- Hey!

- Hey.
- Hey, y'all.

- Hi! What's going on?
- Yo!

- You look nice.
- You look lovely.

- So do you.
- You as well.

- I love this little, like,
sash skirt situation going on.

- I know, sexy.
- I miss you.

- Thank you.
- How have you been doing?

Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Oh, please.
- Thank you.

- Get you started
with anything to drink?

- We're getting a bottle.

- I--we were gonna
get some wine.

But I got us a spicy pepperoni
flatbread for the table.

- Okay.

- I'll do the Brune.

- Uh, Blood Orange Paloma.
- Paloma.

Perfect.
I'll be right back with that.

- Thanks.

- Um...

so that was fun, last Friday.

- The festival?
- Oh, yeah.

- That was a lot of fun.
- True.

- Like, when I was done
with that, I was like, pooped.

- I mean, we were drinking
since noon.

- How much sleep did
you get on Friday?

- Three hours.
- Yeah, me too.

She wakes up at 7:00 AM
every morning.

Saturday, I'm sleeping,
and she went,

"What are we doing?"
And I'm like, "We?"

- He almost had a fit.

I wake him up,
and he's annoyed.

- Ugh.

- He's like, "Ugh.
You're still here?"

- Yeah.
[laughter]

- We literally sleep like this,
holding hands.

- We sleep like otters.
- Yeah.

- Like otters in the water.
We're like--

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we do.

It's so weird.

- So cute.
- Aww.

They're very much in love.
You can tell.

- Are you a sucker for love?

- Ooh.

- Are you a PDA-er, Taylor?
- No.

If you give her a nibble,

she'll try to eat
the whole steak.

That's the problem.

- You should be lucky she
wants to nibble on you, Shep.

- Just go make out.
[laughter]

- Hi, guys.
How we doing?

We all ready to go?

- I'm gonna get
the brick chicken,

and she's gonna get
the grouper.

- And she's gonna get
the pan-seared scallops,

and I'm gonna do the duck.

- Thank you.
That was excellent.

- [sighs]

So speaking
of dissecting relationships...

[tense music]

Are you two, like,
an actual couple, or...

- Um, yeah.
We haven't had the talk yet.

- We have not DTR-ed.

- Um, no.

I mean, I'm ready to have
the talk when you are.

- No, you're not.
- Sure.

- Well, you should have
the talk right now.

- Oh.

- Do you wanna have the talk?

- Uh-oh.
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Um...

Yeah, I would.

- I just like to see him
squirm, to be honest.

- [stuttering]

See?
You don't have to--

Hey, look.
It's your favorite wine.

- [gasps]
[laughter]

- Come on.

You wanna meddle
in my relationship,

then I'm gonna do
the same to yours.

[laughs]

- We're having
the talk right now.

We're--we're together.
- Oh.

[laughs]

- Are we dating?
- Yes.

[laughter]

- I approve this message.
- Okay.

[laughter]

We're together, okay?
- Aww.

- Sounds good.

♪ ♪

- That was the talk.

- I'm glad that you guys
brought this out.

- That was the easiest talk
I've ever had.

- Was that it?
- Okay.

- Good luck.

- Cheers to defining
the relationship.

- Listen.

Defining is so much better
than not defining.

Take it from someone
with experience.

- God, I don't want it
to be serious.

- Jeez.
- Well it's serious now.

- Sneak right in here.

I've got the duck right here.
- Thank you.

- The word "girlfriend"

is sort of a weird word
to say out loud,

but yeah.

Yeah.

I can say it.
I'm man enough to say it.

- Shep has a girlfriend.

I love it.

- You have something
in your teeth.

♪ ♪

- Right in the middle.

- You got it.

- That's what friends do.

- So am I your friend?

Then let's make this official.

- Sure.
You wanna have the talk?

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- Yeah, I mean...

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- That looks really pretty.

That actually looks
really good.

Mom, will you start
prepping stuff?

- You have to grind
the walnuts.

- Okay, you pull it down.
You pull it down.

- Little,

we're making fessenjoon.

- Careful.
Watch your fingers.

- So Mona is not cooking?

- [screams]
- Okay, Little.

- I think she has
her hands full.

- Oh!
- [whines]

[machine grinds]
- [yelps]

- Sorry.
[laughter]

[machine buzzing]

Okay.
That's enough.

Put everything.
- All of it?

- Stir it,
or else it will burn.

- Should I put some salt on it?
- No.

- Oil?
- Nothing.

In fessenjoon,
the oil is the walnuts.

- Oh, this is gonna make
its own oil.

- When you're making tachin,

you have to strain the yogurt.
- Strain.

- It becomes thick.

- I did not know you did that.

- These are difficult dishes.

And to spend all day
cooking dinner for people--

in Persian culture,
it's a gesture of friendship.

Is that enough?

- I just want
the outside to be...

- Pretty.
- Yeah.

- It smells good.

Little!

You gonna be a good Persian boy
and help cook?

Do you wanna try a date?
- No.

- Mmm.
Look.

Mommy's eating one.
- No.

- Na na?

- The dates are good for him?

- Yeah, I'm trying
to get him to eat that,

but he wants to eat the squash.

I knew you were gonna
spit it out, yeah.

Delicious.
[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

- [sighs]
[sniffs]

[groans]

[ringing stops]

[phone ringing]

Hey.
What's up?

- Um, just woke up
at Austen's and kind of--

- Yeah, I mean--

- And I do wanna do that,

but it's getting
really ----ing stressful.

- It's fun.
Um...

- [laughs]

I've never heard that.

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

- And what else?

- The cooking is done.

It just has to stand.

- Okay, Mom.
I'm gonna go get dressed.

- Have you ever been
to a Persian dinner before?

- No.

That's why I need
my fashion specialist's advice.

- I think it's kind of similar
to Lebanese culture.

More is more.

- Extra, extra, extra.

♪ ♪

- See, does it not look like
you're a warrior princess?

- I was gonna wear
another necklace,

but I think that's too much.

See?
- Yeah.

- What are we wearing
to this Persian princess thing?

- I have a dress.

I just don't have,
like, a headpiece.

Like, is it belly dancer stuff?

- She told us not
to look like Jasmine.

- Uh, all right.

♪ ♪

[snazzy jazz music]

[car door opens]
- Thank you.

♪ ♪

[knocking on door]
[dog barking]

- Hi!
- Hey.

- How are you?

- You look gorgeous.
- Oh, my gosh.

Does Luci have on a--
- Yes.

She has like
a statement necklace on, yes.

- Hi, sweetie.

Oh, my gosh.
This is my dream.

- Isn't it cool?
- Yeah, this looks so great.

- It doesn't even look
like my house.

- Oh, my gosh.
I love it.

- Welcome
to our magical Persian house.

Take your shoes off.
We're still kind of cooking.

So come.

Greg is here to get you
some drinks.

- Can I do a Tito's
with a splash of pineapple?

What's all this?

- That's all
the different rices,

'cause like we're
a big rice culture.

- I love rice.

I'm so impressed with you.

- You're impressed with my mom.

- Naheed!
- Hi!

Aww.
You look gorgeous.

- Thank you.

- And the hummus?

- Uh-oh.

- Knock knock.
- Hi!

- Hi.

- Welcome, welcome.
- Oh, my gosh.

- You look amazing.

- Thank you.
I love it.

- It's totally transformed.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Love it.
- I know.

- Come on then.
- Oh, that's pretty.

- So do you!
- Aww.

Look how my mom made flowers.
- Is that a radish?

- Radish.
[knocking on door]

Hello!
- Hello!

- Look at you!
- Hi.

You look beautiful.
- Beautiful.

Come in.
- Hi!

- Oh, Jackie.
This is my mom, by the way.

- Nice to meet you.
- How are you?

[laughter]

- Okay, guys.
[clanking]

This could be really good
or really bad.

Yoo!
- Oh, really?

- Oh, wow.

- I wouldn't know
where to start.

- [whispers]
Shake it out.

This is a lot of pressure.

[drumroll]

[cheers and applause]

- Wow.
- Yay.

[knocking on door]

- We hear you.

[dog barks]

- Hello.
- You look very Persian.

- So do you.
- Hi!

You look beautiful.
- Oh, my gosh.

Everyone is really decked out.
[laughter]

- Kathryn, this is my mom.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Thank you for having me.

- She came in, full tiara.

- You said princess.
I said queen.

[laughter]

- All right, girls.

I'm gonna move
the party in there.

[upbeat pop music]

- Oh, my gosh.
Are we sitting on the floor?

- Yeah.
Grab your plates.

Just start serving yourselves.

Over here is vegetables
and hummus.

This is a sweet rice.

It has nuts and oranges.

Over there is fessenjoon.
- Oh, [indistinct].

- It's pomegranate chicken

with walnuts
and butternut squash.

That thing that looks
like a cake

is actually all rice

with saffron chicken
and barberries.

- This is amazing.
- You're welcome.

- Thanks for having us.
- Welcome to my world.

I mean, it's not
always like this.

No.
- What?

[laughter]

- So Leva, you're
the only Persian I know.

- I know.
I am.

- And you're cool as F, so...
- [laughing]

- Being Persian in Charleston,

do you ever feel weird?

- Yeah, totally.

I just think my roots
are very different.

- How are they
different, though?

- I come from a family that

left a country
in like, turmoil,

lost everything,

rebuilt everything.

My parents
can't go back to Iran.

I've never been to Iran.

- Yeah.
You would get arrested.

- Just for speaking
the way that you wanna speak.

- Or wearing a fashion
that you wanna wear.

- Yeah.

- When my parents got married,
my mom was like,

"If I am pregnant with a girl,
we're leaving."

And when they were pregnant
with me, they left.

I truly work hard, like,
in thought

of the sacrifices
my parents made to come here

so that we could do
anything we wanted to do,

and we weren't
denied education,

and we weren't denied
so many things

that like, for
a North American woman to have

is not so easy
for an Eastern woman to have.

Does that sound like
so deep and weird?

- No, I think that it's awesome
that you can go there.

Cheers to that.
- Cheers to Mama.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Thank you.

- Cheers.

- Thank you.
- Thanks, Mommy.

- Coming up...

- I will say this
about Madison.

I had designs.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat jazz music]

- So good.
- So delicious.

- This fessenjoon
is really good.

I love that.
- Thank you.

- Do you guys believe
in to-go boxes?

- Yeah.
[laughter]

- So what brought you
to Charleston?

- Um...
- Other than Lamar.

- Lamar kept me
in Charleston, yeah.

My father has like, an
international software company,

and he had clients here.
I stayed here to, like, work.

And that was like what?
Ten years ago?

- Mm-hmm.
- Charleston was so different.

Like, when you went out
at night to a club,

there'd be a lineup of like...
- Mm-hmm.

- Black people and then
a lineup of white people.

And I'm like, "Where do I go?"

Um...

And I kind of hated it.

I just--I didn't know
how I kind of fit in here.

And I--everyone I met
was, like, kind of

not as open-minded as I would
hope that they would be.

Sometimes people
would just say things like,

you know, "Are you American?
Do you know English?

"Are you legal?

Is that your car
or your boss's car?"

[laughs]

What kind of question is that?

- And so how soon after y'all
met did you open Republic?

- Seven years ago.

Yeah, we were boyfriend
and girlfriend

when we opened it.
- Oh.

- Republic is where
I feel like life began...

all: Yeah.

- For everyone.

- That was my first bottle
service I've ever had.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Well, that's where I pretty
much met my baby daddy.

- Oh, my God.
- That's right.

- I was at the party.

You were so cute.

- I was like 21, I think.
- Yeah.

I was like, "Lamar, watch
the redheaded girl.

"She's really young,
and those dudes

are so much older than her."

- Thanks, girl.
- Mm-hmm.

- It's okay.
Live and learn.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, my God.

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

- How's it going, man?
- Thank you, dude.

- Thank you very much.

- Hey, brother.
- How you doing, man?

Hey, bro!
- Hey.

- Good to see you, man.

- How you doing, buddy?
Good to see you.

- Good to see you.
- What are you guys drinking?

- A Trop Hop.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I had one too many
Trop Hops yesterday, and I'm--

- Vodka Red Bull?

- Yeah, like Tito's,
and sugar free please.

- And then four shots
of, like, chilled tequila.

- What is it?
Goldschlager or some sh--?

- No, it's chilled tequila.

- Pringle, cheers.

- Craig.
Tequila?

- No.
I'm not here tonight.

- No, you're not.

- Definitely made
my appearance known

on King Street last night.

I made statements at every bar
on this street.

- I really have to pace myself,
you know?

- You don't get out of this.

- I can't do that right now.

- Then I'll do both!

- If I don't stay disciplined,

it's a shaky road for me,
you know?

It's a loose slope.

Um...

Not a loose slope.
It's a--

- Austen nursed me today.

- Do what?
Like he's lactating?

- I made him pizza.

- I cried, like, three times.

- Yeah, you were crying
a lot today.

- Cheers to you guys
for having me.

- It's fun having you around,
Pringle.

- Welcome to hell,
mother----er.

[laughter]
- Listen.

Those girls are cute.
- I know, right?

I'm not talking
to them, though.

- Like this?
- Yeah, yeah.

- How you doing?
- Oh, perfect.

Strike it up.
- How's it going?

I'm John.

- Abby?

- I was born here,
but I just moved back.

- Yeah.

Not gonna ask you guys
how old you are

'cause I know you're young.

Like, you're like 25...

- Right now?
- Ish?

I have no game.

I mean, my game
is having no game.

Who's your favorite band now?

- Is it Justin Bieber?

[chuckling]
It never works.

Is it Bieber?
[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Yes!
- Last night.

- You already
in an amorous mood?

- Yeah.

- Come home and marry me.
- Yeah!

- Or lose me forever.
- What do you want?

- I'll have a Trop Hop
and a shot!

Goldschlager.

- Hey, price of gold's going
through the (BLEEP) room.

- It was really nice
to meet you.

♪ ♪

- Do y'all want
a Goldschlager?

- Yeah!

- If we can increase
our net worth

by drinking Goldschlager,

I think that we--
then we'll all be elevated.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

You can still flirt.

It doesn't matter where
you get your appetite

as long as you eat at home.

[chuckles]

- Uh, yeah.
They make it for me.

[laughter]
- Cheers, cheers.

- Cheers!
- Cheers.

- Hey, to health and happiness.

- Health, wealth,
and happiness.

- I like that.

[jazz sting]

- [sighs]
- I like that necklace.

Where'd you get that?
- Patricia's closet.

- It looks like that.
- Yeah.

- Feel how heavy it is.
- Oh, wow.

- [whispering]
Oh, my God.

- I wish I could see
Patricia's closet.

- I mean, I'm like, my neck?

She had this diamond too,
y'all.

She goes, "Look at this."

And I said,
"Let me just try it on."

Like for the future.

And she's like, "You ain't
getting that from Austen."

And I was like, "Oh, sh--!"
[laughter]

I was like, "Way to hit deep."
- She did?

Oh, my God.
- Yes, she did.

- That is so weird.

- The thing is,
it makes me sad

because I do look up
to her opinion.

- Like, I feel like it's
y'all's relationship,

no matter what.

Patricia is meddling.

She's life the puppet master
on the NSYNC album cover

with all of us on it.

Telling--like, ----ing with us.

- Sometimes I feel like
when she hangs out with me,

she gets a little rough.

- That's crazy.
- Yeah.

[dramatic music]

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- 32.

- I'm 43.

- I do.
- You look great.

- It's all the--it's all
the getting sh--faced.

[laughter]

It does wonders for you.
- Whoo!

- What do you think
of this guy?

- He's cool.
He's funny.

- He is cool.

- Are you guys talking
about me?

- Crazy enough, the world
does not revolve around you.

Nor Madison.

- Wow.

- You know what?
I will say this about Madison.

- Oh, boy.

- She's hot.

I think she's ----ing great.

[acoustic sting]

- Yo.
- I think she's hot.

But all right.
- I don't blame you, man.

- I don't know, you know?
All right.

I will be honest.
- Oh, boy.

- I had designs.

- What's that?

- I'm straight up being honest.

- I...my head's in the sand.

My head's in the sand.

- She's a smoke-show.

- Pringle--he can be
a little snake in the grass.

- If Madison were to break up
with you temporarily...

[indistinct chatter]

Would you go out with--

- I would definitely sleep
with Austen.

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- Dude, that was like a bomb

you just like, threw down.

[upbeat music]

- Where are we going
after this?

- We can go
to El Jefe next door.

- [slurred], I love you.
I do love you.

- How's it going?

♪ ♪

- Guys, we had so many drinks.

♪ ♪

Don't look at me.
[laughs]

- There's a mechanical bull.

Will you ride
the mechanical bull?

Please?

Because I tore my MCL
last year riding one,

and I want to see if you
can maybe tear your ACL.

Come on.
Please.

- Eh.
- Love you!

- So Austen took all the boys
out tonight

for a boys' night.
- Even Pringle.

- Pringle's cool, y'all.

- Yeah, I think Pringle's cool,
too.

- He's single.
He's cute.

- So cute.

- He has great manners.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah!

Yeah!

♪ ♪

Yeah!
[laughs]

Come on.

♪ ♪

- Yeah!

- Is he a good kisser?

- You have to tell them.

- Y'all, come on.

- [laughs]

- So I have dessert
for you guys, and tea.

♪ ♪

[cell phone chimes]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Thanks, Greg.
- Thanks, Greg.

- Um...
- I can serve the tea.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

- What is that over there,
dessert?

- [laughs]
Ooh, baklava.

That's my favorite.

- Do you want to take a shot?

- As long as it's not, like,
fruity.

- He what?

- Yeah, that's good.

- How far along is she?

- What, he was just gonna tell
you, like, right before?

- Oh, my gosh.

- God, I can't believe it.
- I just had to say it.

Anyways...

- Are you okay?

What's going on?

- Oh, should I bring?

- Yeah, if you have
an extra hand,

yes, please bring.

Oh, thank you.
- [sighs]

- What got so serious?

- Thomas is having
another baby.

♪ ♪

- What?
- I just found out.

- She's seven months.
- Yeah.

- He confirmed it.
- She's seven months?

- Six to seven months, yeah.

- Now Kensie and Saint
are gonna have a sibling.

- A sibling, exactly,

and I'm asking him,

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

and he's like,
"Well, why would I?"

- Uh, because
they're related...

- Because they'll have
a sibling, hello.

And he said, "Well, half."

- Oh, my God.

- So is he dating this girl?
- No.

I knew of her when they dated.
A while back,

I found a positive
pregnancy test in his house.

- Oh, my God.
- No!

- And he was like, "Oh, no.
Wasn't me.

Must've been someone else."

I had heard
that he had been spotted

at an OB/GYN with a girl
who was showing.

♪ ♪

I cannot believe
I've been living in the house

with this man, who has been
hiding this secret

that he has a child on the way.

Meanwhile, I'm fantasizing,

"Oh, maybe if we got
back together,

this is what it would be like."

It's not a normal thing.

Wavelengths.
You see why

we didn't get along?

- Dude, that was like a bomb
you just, like, threw down.

- Are you okay?
- My family--like,

a piece of it was taken away.

Like, it's no longer
the Ravenels, you know?

- I don't like
that he did not tell you.

I think that's so ----ed up.

I think that is not fair

to you or the kids.
- How long has he known?

- It just sucks,
'cause I feel like you guys

just came to, like,
a total agreement.

- I know.

- Like, everything
was so perfect.

- But that's
what pisses me off.

He allowed that to happen
knowing this.

- Knowing!

- You're not gonna be there
anymore, then.

Like, living there.

- I don't know what
the next step is, y'all.

What do I do?
- Hey, we got you.

Yeah, we're getting you
out of there, dude.

- On the next episode
of "Southern Charm"...

- [grunts]

- [laughs]
Did you really just grunt?

- We had the talk.
- DTR.

- Why didn't you say something?
- It's not the girl's job.

- Pringle's, like,
nuzzling you or something.

- What?

- I'm sitting right here,
and you're telling her

that you're kind of into her?

- You just gonna, like,
drop it

and be friends with Austen,
or...

- TBD.

- I know we've talked
about possibly doing,

like, a buying trip.

- I don't know if you heard,

but New York?

Like, the whole city's
shut down.

[dramatic music]

- Can't afford to keep
100 employees on salary,

so we have to make some
really difficult decisions.

♪ ♪

- Is Taylor and Hilton
there with you?

- No.
- And I was like,

"Wait a second.
Are you sure

you haven't been exposed
to it?"

She's like,
"No, I'm not sure."