All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S04E07.Fowl.Play.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Previously on

- Previously on
"Southern Charm"...

- It's like a sobriety test.

- Can you handle it?
- No.

- Pigs officially fly

as Charleston's
number one party boy

attempts clean living.

- Just try not drinking
for maybe a week.

- [laughs]

- But while Shep may be
winning the health game,

he's definitely losing at love.

- You've got your chest hair
out tonight too.

- That's right.
- You look good.

- Oh, boy.

- Meanwhile, as Kathryn
continues to have

supervised weekend visits
with the kids,

she has yet to speak
to her baby daddy...

- Oh, we're doing
the big hand-off.

- No, I don't want to
go out there.

- Giving Thomas plenty of time

to get reacquainted
with Landon...

- I'm just glad that I feel like

I can spend time with you again.

- As Patricia and Whitney
plot to make her

the next Mrs. Ravenel.

- If you and Landon
were to get married,

would you insist upon
a prenuptial agreement?

- I'd trust her and I wouldn't
insist on one, no.

- Oh, that's so kind.

- And at Jennifer's
sip and see,

Naomie's attempt
to stick it to the man--

I mean, Craig...

- You were late.
I was on time.

- Has someone
throwing a temper tantrum.

- If you want to tell them
our whole lives, then do it.

Go ahead, child,
you can speak.

- At least the baby
was well-behaved.

[Mia Sable's "It's Easy"]

- ♪ Mm-hmm,
he's got money ♪

♪ He's in magazines ♪

♪ He's got more honeys ♪

♪ Than any honeybee ♪

♪ Ba-ba doo ♪

♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪

♪ It's easy ♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

[alarm beeping]

- Up and at 'em, Mama.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[computer chiming]

- Landon.
- Hi.

- Wow.
- [yawns]

- You're a vision.

♪ ♪

- Come over to Daddy.

- [humming]

♪ ♪

[record scratch]

♪ ♪

- You don't want me to be
on my phone right now?

[cat meows]

♪ ♪

[knocking at door]

- Kathryn's here!
Who's gonna get the door?

- Me!
- Me!

[light music]

- Hi.

- "Miss Kathryn,"
oh, my goodness.

- Hi.
Did you get taller?

- Uh, possibly.
- Or did I get smaller?

- It's been a while.
- I know, good to see you.

- Everything good?
- Do you want some coffee?

- Yeah, actually,
that would be great.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- What's going on?

- I mean, a lot.

- We've missed you.

- I know, I miss y'all.

- I've been wondering
how you were.

We were hoping you'd be
at Jennifer's sip and see.

We saw Kensie,
and she was super cute.

- Hmm?

[pensive music]

She invited Thomas
and did not invite me?

- I mean...

- And she had an affair
with Thomas when I was pregnant.

- Oh, my God.
- I mean, that is kind of weird.

♪ ♪

- Well, I mean, like if--
if we had an event right now,

until we know that you
and Thomas are kind of resolved,

I think any mutual friends
y'all have

are gonna be nervous
about inviting you both.

All it takes is one thing
that hurts his feelings

or one thing
that hurts your feelings.

- Yeah.
- It's back to the same old

fiery relationship
that you guys had.

- That's why I really wanted
to just speak with y'all

because, you know, Thomas and I
haven't talked at all.

- Right.

- But actually, yesterday,

I get a text message from him.

Something about maybe
wanting to have a conversation.

- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

And this is the first time
I'm hearing from him,

nine months or something.

- Do you want to reach back out
to him or not?

- I want to, of course,
for my children.

I'm--you know, I'm nervous.

I always feel like he has
a motive or something like that,

you know?

- When I talked to him
the other day,

I asked him,
"Why can't you guys ever just

"put the past
and the differences aside

and be civil?"

The kids need their mom
just like they need their dad.

- Yeah.
- My God, man.

It's gotta come to a resolution.

I've known Thomas
for over 20 years.

And I've only known Kathryn
for a handful of years.

It's very complicated because

the dynamic between
Kathryn and Thomas

changes quite often.

But as godfather,
you want to help.

Whether you like it or not,

you're gonna have to eventually
be in the same room.

- Yeah.
- Unless you're gonna be like,

"Well, I'll go to her graduation
and you go to his graduation."

- Yeah.
I don't know.

- Well, you've got
Saint's birthday coming up.

- Yeah.
You know, in a perfect world,

I would hope that we could
celebrate it together, you know?

- Sure.
- Yeah.

- But I don't really know
how to,

like, navigate his...

- Yeah.
- Sure.

Well, I would recommend
that you have a goal.

- Remove the emotion.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Bullet points.
- Yeah, like a business deal.

- But, uh,
I think it should be

something that's really basic
that you can accomplish.

- Sure.

- And then--and then
build from that.

- I've worked really hard
to get to a place

where I'm okay with the fact

that Thomas and I
do not communicate,

because it isn't good for us.

But maybe it's time.

- Hopefully y'all can be civil

and you can talk about it,

because if you leave it
up to the courts,

God only knows
what's gonna happen.

[somber music]

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Master Whitney.

- Top of the morning.
- How's it going?

- Good.

You're running?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I ran over here.

- Must've been like
a sudden frost in hell.

- [chuckles]
- You want, like, a water?

- Yeah, I would love some water.
- Yeah.

- Thanks.

I haven't had a drink
in five days.

And this has been good.

And I think
I've proven to myself

that I can be
without a beer or alcohol.

A scoop of vanilla, a scoop
of, uh, cookies and cream.

Oh, sh--.

[whistling]

[playful music]

Oh, thank you.

- Put a little vodka in it
just to make you feel better.

- Oh, great.

- You know, you should--
actually--

in place of alcohol,
maybe pick up smoking.

[both laughing]

- Hey, Monty.
Coming to join us?

- I don't know if
I mentioned it to you,

but I want to go
on a little quail hunt

with the group.

- Yeah, we should.

- There's this private club
called Dorchester.

It's in Georgia,
outside of Savannah.

Hey, buddy.

And they take us out
on guided quail hunts.

- Yeah.
Good idea.

- I've been hunting
my whole childhood.

I had a BB gun,

and then my dad let me have
a little shotgun,

and then a rifle and...

I mean, Charleston
can be a little cosmopolitan,

so it's good to wear camo
and trod along in the mud.

As far as who is going,

I mean, I don't know if
Craig and Naomie

resolved their issues.

- What, you think--think she's
getting tired of the shtick?

[soft laugh]
- I would be.

But I'm sure they'll be fine,
I think.

If I want to know
anything about Craig,

I just go to her.
I don't even ask Craig anymore.

- [laughs]
Yeah, what does she tell you?

- She stopped short
of telling me everything.

But she has a duty
to protect him,

and I understand that,
you know?

- I know.
- It's like a fiduciary duty.

- [chuckles]
A fiduciary...

- With emphasis on the "douche."

[both laughing]

♪ ♪

[gentle pop music]

♪ ♪

[printer whirring]

- Sup, buddy?

For the first time ever,
Naomie's starting to really

give me feelings of doubt
if we're gonna be okay.

And it's scaring
the sh-- out of me.

[exhales]

- Hey.

- Hi.

How was your day?

- Long.
I'm, like, exhausted.

So...

- Mm, I have to go over
the inspection.

- Um...

Do you want to talk about
this weekend a little bit?

- I have work to do.

There's my planner.

- Please stop turning your back
to me, it's very rude.

I just want you
to say that you're sorry

for talking to me like that.

- You know, I don't think
I was in the wrong.

I feel like...
- [scoffs]

- You were out of control and...
- What?

- I was really upset at you.

And you told people...
- Craig.

- That you left me
because I was late,

when, in reality,
you just left me.

And...
- Well, you had a car here.

Why would you still be late
if you had your car here?

- What I'm saying, babe,
is that...

- I had to go pick up a gift.

I was on time.
You were late, like...

- That's not true, Naomie.
- I didn't want to be late.

That is true, Craig.
You know that's true.

- No, it's not.
- Stop saying it's not true.

Stop saying you were late
because I left you here

because you drove your car.

- So you left me
because I was late?

- Yeah, because I finally
got to that point, like...

- And then you chose
to air our dirty laundry

in front of people because...
- Holy sh--, okay, fine.

Like, fine.

What I'm trying to talk about is

how embarrassed I was that
you talked to me like that.

- Go ahead, child,
you can speak.

- You will not
speak to me like that again.

Ever.
- You--

- I don't disrespect you like
that in front of our friends.

- I think you do.
And if you let me finish--

- Craig.
- I think--

- You have it ass-backwards.

You're impossible.

- You don't accept
or recognize

that you contribute to this
just as much as I do.

- I don't get it.
- I think it's bizarre.

- I don't want to talk about
any of this anymore

until there's somebody, like,
a couples counselor

to explain to you
how ridiculous you sound.

♪ ♪

Okay?

- Yeah.

- We just need better tools
to, like, communicate.

- I didn't think that

the "honeymoon phase" ending
was a real thing,

but if there's a way
therapy can help

bring our relationship
back to the beginning,

I'm willing to do whatever
it takes for our relationship.

- Well, anyway,
on a happier note,

I'm, like, trying right now to

get out of this one speaker
that we have on Friday

so that I can come
on the trip with you guys.

I think there's nothing better
to get out of a bad spot than,

like, literally
just shooting sh--.

- I mean, I'm really happy
if you can come.

I just--
I just don't want

anyone getting in our business.

- [sighs]
That's not gonna happen.

- We're on the same team,

and I hope we can act like that
on this trip.

- Same.

- Coming up...

- You have to have a mate

who is your equal or better.

- Yeah.
- It takes money, honey.

- I know.
It takes a lot of money.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- We've got some incredible
outerwear you've gotta try.

Yeah, see, you got
room for shells.

- Uh-huh.
- And it's lightweight.

- That looks great.

- Does it? You like that?
- That looks great.

How we doing, sir?
- Hey, man.

How you doing?

- [chuckles]
Looks great.

- We're working it out.
- Okay.

- This is just one of the pieces

to the whole ensemble.

- Oh, what a fine
country gentleman.

- I know.
- What's going on, buddy?

This is gonna be my first
foray to hunt quail.

- It's so much fun.

We'll walk around,
it'll be beautiful.

And the dogs will
find them, point.

And then the dogs will jump in
and the quail will disperse.

- As long as we eat
everything we kill.

- Oh, yeah.

Dude, we're gonna
eat 'em that night.

Quail's great.

- Do I look like Oliver Twist?
- [chuckles]

- I was raised
what you would call a city boy.

Am I fully zipped up?

I've never been hunting.

And I'm just depositing
my shells in here?

I don't even know
what the f--- a quail is.

- Oh, these boots are rad, man.
- I know, those are cool.

- Like, you think
they're snake-proof?

- Wait, are you...

- Yeah, are they sn--
are there snakes in Georgia?

- Hell yeah, there are.

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

- What?
Oh, boy.

[phone chiming]

- Hold on, Craig's calling.

Hey, Craig.

Craig's at Dick's,
Dick's Sporting Goods, nice.

We're kind of--
we went the other direction.

- I'm wearing regular.

But it wouldn't--it wouldn't
hurt to get some snake boots,

I can guarantee that.

- Are these snake-proof?
[soft chuckle]

- Get--

- Treat yourself, Craig.
Treat yourself.

A snake's gonna get you
no matter what, Craig.

Everybody knows that.

- Okay.
Bye.

Yeah, so Craig and Naomie
will come.

Um.
- Oh, God.

- Cameran, of course,
Chelsea, your paramour.

- Oh, yeah?
- We'll see.

- She's a special lady
in your life?

- Well, that...

- He doesn't know.

- Wouldn't call her
a special lady in my life,

but anyways.

- Oh, man.
Is it not good?

- [stammers]
No, you know.

- You guys are
getting cold feet.

I can tell.

- Maybe.

- Oh, yeah?

- Things are perfectly great
with Chelsea and I.

We'll see.

And there's just no reason
to even go there with Shep.

- So Cam, Chelsea,
J.D. will come.

I don't know about Thomas.
Um.

I, uh, I know he can't
be around guns

'cause he went to jail.

[chuckles]
- Felons and guns.

- But, um,

am I--am I missing anybody?

- You didn't mention Landon.
Is she--is she coming?

- Yes.
I knew we were missing somebody.

- What--what was that about?

Was that some subconscious--
- It was not subconscious.

No, it wasn't.
- Okay.

- Was it subconscious
that you remembered her?

- No--well, I mean--
- [mock stammers]

- I mean--I mean--
- You sweet on her?

- No. Landon's turned into,

like, a good friend,
yeah, you know?

- All right.
- I--I think she's great.

- All right.

- Hmm, Landon and Austen

would be a good couple.

- I just met Landon, and I think
Landon is cute as can be.

- Would you ever
go out with her?

- I mean, yeah,
I think she's beautiful, right?

- Oh.

I would be happy to see

that relationship be cultivated.

- Okay, so,
you're getting the sweater.

Boots look good, look sharp.
- Right?

- If you want to go extra fancy,

you can go with a tie.

That's what I'm doing.

- Whitney thinks we're
in the English countryside.

We're going to
Dorchester, Georgia.

- Part of hunting
is looking good.

- This isn't a catwalk, Whitney.

It's about catching supper.

- Sh--.
Catch your supper.

Catching supper
at Whole Foods.

[laughter]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

- Miss Landon's arrived, madam.
- Oh.

- She caught me in the midst
of walking the pug.

- Hello.
- Hi, darling.

How are you?
Mwah.

- Nice to see you.

- Hey, Chauncey.

- Go see Mama.
- [laughs]

- Can I bring you
something to drink?

- Um, yes, please.

I would love one of those
bourbon slushies.

- For yourself, madam?
- If you're gonna have one,

I'll have one just to be polite.

- Yeah.
- Right away.

- Thank you.

Tell me what you're doing,
what's going on.

- I'm going on a little
hunting expedition,

as you know, with Whitney.

- Do you shoot?

- Um, no, to be honest.

- Well, Whitney, uh, has spent

many years shooting in England.

- Yeah, I just don't
really want to kill anything.

- I can understand that.

- Oh, those look delicious.

- Thank you.

- So think I'll get
a bit of a gun lesson.

- Yeah.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, darling.

- Thank you for having me.

- Well, um,

I called you over because

the other night at
our little impromptu dinner...

- Yeah.

- Everybody was talking about

love, marriage...
- Yeah.

- Prenups.

Thomas said, "If I marry Landon,

I wouldn't have her
sign a prenup."

I thought that was sweet.

You know, it's just
something to think about.

♪ ♪

- To be honest,
we actually went to lunch

for the first time,
just the two of us,

a couple weeks ago
and it was really nice.

And, you know, I feel like

he does have a lot
of the qualities

that I'm looking for
in a relationship.

You know, it's fun, but...

Oh, my goodness.

Michael, you're too much.
- [chuckles]

- Do you even know
how spoiled you are?

[both laugh]

- Thank you, Michael.

- But I wanted Thomas
to go hunting.

I called him yesterday
to see if he was coming,

and he said he can't go

because he can't be around guns

'cause he's a felon, so...

He has, like,
a world of problems

that I can't even fathom.

- But, you know, grown-ups do.

You have to have a mate

who is your equal
or--or better,

in terms of education,
background,

what they can offer you.

- Yeah.

- It takes money, honey.

- [laughs]
I know.

It takes a lot of money.

- I mean, even when I was 20...
- Yeah.

- I always found older men
more attractive

because they're established.

- I mean,
none of the men I know.

- If you go for somebody--
- But...

- Well, I have a soft spot
for Thomas.

I'm sorry, I think...
- Absolutely.

- That he has turned out to be

an exemplary father.

♪ ♪

[baby giggling]

- You're gonna go
see your mommy.

All right.

Let's put this on you.

- Put this on.
- Put them on his feet.

You can help.

I think they sense it's Friday,
what do you think?

- Mm-hmm, yeah, they know.

- Every other weekend is
the pick-up and the drop-off.

[sighs]
Is that gonna fit?

- Let me...
- Okay.

- Come here, baby.

- Those two days,
if they go to Kathryn's,

there's a lot of stress.

There's a lot of anxiety.

[sighs]

- We've had a good two weeks.

- I know, I just hate
extreme transitions.

- I know.

- It's very emotional
for all of us.

It's just tough.

♪ ♪

Come here.
Come on.

All right.
Daddy's gonna miss you.

You're gonna go see Mommy.

Love you.
[kisses]

[groans]

- I think until everything
is totally settled

with him and Kathryn, I'll
always be a little bit nervous.

- Hasn't it been settled?

- They still
have court to go to,

and all of these things
and it just--

I don't want to be
involved in that.

You saw how crazy it was
when I wasn't involved at all.

I never did anything.
Ask him! Ask him.

- Shut up!
Stop yelling!

You sound like
a f---ing kindergartener.

- Step away from me.

Imagine what--
how crazy it would get

if I actually was involved.

- You know what?
You have to be a risk taker

in life.
- Yeah.

- And if you aren't,
and you're timid,

and you settle
for the status quo...

- Yeah.

- You lead a life
of quiet desperation.

- Coming up...

- There it is.
[gunshot]

- Good shot!
- Nice!

- Who was that?
- Me.

- Damn.
- [exhales]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

It's good to see you up,
bright and chipper.

- There's a few things
that I'll get up early for.

And hunting's one of them.

- Cam will be here in a second.
- Good.

- What's up, team?

- What up, dude?
- About time you got here.

- What's going on?
Shotgun?

- [laughs]

- Let's go shoot some sh--.

- And away we go.

- Oh, I'm so glad
we're together, guys.

I really don't think I could
emotionally handle anyone else.

- I wish Chelsea was with us.

[country music]

- I'm ready to pop off
some birds.

- I don't know what the f---
a quail is, so...

- I can't wait for you to shoot,

like, a f---ing
bald eagle today.

[laughs]

Where's Naomie?

- Naomie's coming after class.

- Why isn't, um, Drew coming?

- He had to work.

- You have a boy toy.

- Drew's not a toy boy.
- You have a boy toy, Landon.

- [laughs]

- So I think Austen and Landon

are, like,
really good buddies now.

They're talking a lot,
texting a lot.

- Well, aren't
Austen and Chelsea

really good buddies too?

- [sighs] I don't think
it's working out

between the two of them.

- Look at this truck.

- Yo.
- [gasps]

Oh, God, it made me swerve.
- Jeez, girl.

- I like a man and a good truck.

- Well, that will, uh,

never be my car.

- You never know.
- You know what--

- You could take up
this hunting thing

and love it,
and next thing you know...

- You're right.

- You need a truck
to carry all your gear.

- What if I get, like,
really into it?

- It would really turn me on.
- Would it?

- Okay, Shep,

when you think about
Chelsea naked...

- Yeah.

- Do you get a tingle

in your britches?

- Yeah.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- Well, that means
all hope is not lost.

- Oh, shut up.

Don't even get f---ing
get that thought in your head.

- I think you're really jealous.
- Yeah, I think--

- Oh, my God.

- I think you're jealous.
You do feel a tingle.

- Oh, my God.

Craig just said,
"Bring boots, I forgot mine."

- Oh, lordy.
- Oh, my God.

[soft laughter]

- Jesus.

Well, fellas...

- Here we are.
- Here we are.

♪ ♪

- Oh, this looks nice.

- I like this.

- You feel like you're
not in Charleston anymore.

[phone chiming]
- Oh, Thomas is calling.

Thomas-o.

- Dude, it's really
super nice here.

We'd love to have you
this evening.

- I mean, it's literally a
two-hour drive from Charleston.

Just come, man.

- I think that's a great idea.

You can come after our hunt,

there'll be no guns.

- This is nice.

- Very nice.

Good, man, cool.
Well, I'm glad you're coming.

- All right, Thomas,
I'll see you tonight.

- All right, bye.

Well, good,
well, Thomas is coming.

Yeah.
- Good.

- Oh, let me get my sh--.
- Yeah.

Wait till you see
what Whitney's wearing to hunt.

He'll look like
Lord Fauntleroy.

- [laughs]
- Hello!

- Hi.

- This is the Jackson Cottage.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, it's beautiful.

- Oh, nice.
- This is awesome, man.

- Oh, cool.
- Very homey.

- So two bedrooms downstairs.
- Fantastic.

- Two upstairs.
- Wait--

- So y'all
make yourselves at home.

- Can I move in?
[chuckles]

- So what other activities
do you have

for the non-hunters?

- We have fishing.
- Cool.

- Fishing is a way safer option

than me holding a gun.

The last time
I was target shooting,

the scope went
through my forehead.

I still have the scar

to show for it.

- Cam.

- [gasps]

You look the part.

- Look at my gun.
- I like it.

It's pretty.
- It's got my initials on it.

Silver, right here.
- It's beautiful.

- Yeah, it's nice.
- Was that a gift?

- Yeah, my dad
gave me one of these.

[horn honks]

[country rock music]

- Oh.
- What's up, guys?

- Hey, hello.

You look radical.
- You look awesome!

- Hello, old friend.

- Craig, you look like
you're going to the beach.

[laughter]
What are you doing?

- No, I don't know who he is.
- [chuckling]

- All right, well,
I want to get out of this car.

- Okay, you guys,

there's a two-bedroom
over there.

- Craig, you're in here.
- You're in here.

- Oh, cool.
Let's go get changed and meet up

so we can, like,
shoot some f---ing guns.

- We stopped at Wal-Mart.
Craig got boots.

[chuckles]

- Look at him.

♪ ♪

- He looks like Benjamin Button.

- [laughs]
Lord of the manor.

- [chuckles]
- I love it.

- Well, hi there, y'all.
- How are ya?

- How's it coming?
- What's up?

- Everybody meet
out at the lodge

for hunting, 2:00,
don't be late.

[playful music]

- Oh, look how precious.
- Oh, my goodness.

- Honey!

- Honey, we're home!

[country music]

- Good afternoon.
- Hey.

- Y'all ready to hunt?
- Yes, sir.

- I'm not hunting but...
- Oh, you're going fishing?

- I'm gonna send them off.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- We're all here.
- Hey, guys.

In the lead, it's gonna be
me, Whitney, and Craig.

- You're going with Dusty.
- Dusty, nice to meet you.

- You're going on this buggy.
- Okay.

- Going with Gerber.
- Gerber, Austen Kroll.

- Nice to meet you.

- Tonight when y'all get in,

our chef will prepare
your quail for dinner.

- Good, can't wait.
- All right.

- Have fun.
- Let's go.

- Bring home some supper, honey!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Craig, how did you
forget everything?

You forgot your shirt.
You forgot your boots.

- I didn't forget a shirt.
I bought this.

And it didn't cross my mind.

- You look like you're about
to work in a roadside crew.

[all laughing]

- Oh, my gosh,
I am so jacked right now!

- This looks great.
- Is this us?

This little bank here?

- Yeah, we ready?
- Yeah, I--I think so.

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

- We're here.

- We'll get the dogs ready,

and get everything ready to go.

[whistle blows]

- Easy, boy.
Easy, boy.

Oh, whoa.

They pointing right there.

When they smell something,

I'm gonna send that black dog
to flush the quail.

And when they fly, you shoot.

- Wow.
- Right there.

- Ooh.
- They found one right there.

You ready?
both: Yes.

- Okay, get 'er, boy.
Right there.

- Get 'em, Chels!
[gunshot]

- Ooh, that was so close!

[gun clicks]

- Chill, chill,
wait-wait-wait.

[gunshot]
- Oh.

- [laughs]
- I was close, though.

- You need help with that?
- No, I'm--oh!

- Oh.
- [laughs]

- Did you hear that?
- That was the other group.

[dog yipping]
All right, guys, get ready.

You see that?

- There it is.
[gunshot]

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

- Good shot.
- Good shot, Shep.

- [chuckles, clicks tongue]

- There it is,
there it is, there it is.

[gunshot]
- Good shot.

- Nice.
Who was that?

- Me.

- Damn.

- [exhales]
- [laughs]

- I'm not, like,
a "lifted pick-up truck,

gun-shooting" kind of guy.

[gunshot]
- Oh!

- Good shot.
- Yeah!

Boom!

But today I sure as hell am.

[gunshot]

- [laughs]

- Oh, I love it.

- Oh, my God, that was awesome.

- Like I was born for this.

- I'm proud of you.
You're killing it out here.

Put some camo on you and all of
a sudden you're a redneck.

- Ooh.
- You 'bout to buy a truck?

- About to buy a gun.

- Ooh.
- Feisty.

[country music]

- Now, see, Lizzie,
this is my speed.

See how--how leisurely this is

compared to hunting?

- Oh, my God.

- I got something.
- [gasps]

- I got something!

- Oh, I got something too!
- Oh, my God!

- What do we do?
- Holy sh--.

Something's
definitely on mine!

- Oh, my God.

- Do I need to get a net?

- Oh, God,
you're freaking me out!

- I--I can't--
I can't do it anymore.

- Oh, my God,
I heard something pop.

What is that?

- It's gone.

- Cool.

- It would have been cool
if there was a--

a fish on the end.

- Hey, uh, J.D.,
who do you think

is faring the best over there?

- My money would be on Shep.
- Yeah?

[gunshot]

- Got it.
- That was a good shot.

- [chuckles]
- Takes the lead.

- Nice one.

- Whitney's ready
for a photo shoot.

- [laughs]
- Not--not a quail shoot.

[gunshots]

- F---.

- Jumped the gun a little
on that, didn't you?

- I did.

- Craig has probably
shot a dog.

[gunshot]
- Jesus, Crai--

that was a very bad shot.

- I saw the dog.
- All right, that's low, Craig.

- It wasn't too low.

- Right over the dog's head.
- Yeah.

- Nothing bad happened.

- Uh-oh.
Oh, yeah.

- [laughing] Cameran,
what did you do to that thing?

- I don't think there's
any coming back from this.

- Hello, folks!
- Hey!

- Naomie, you made it!
- Are y'all catching anything?

- Ye--um--she caught, like
the Loch Ness Monster

but it got away.
- Hi.

Mwah.
- Hey, sweetie.

- How are you?
- We're doing great.

- So where is everybody?

- Everyone's out hunting quail.

[gunshot]

- Bam.
- Did I get it?

Yes!

- Whoo!
- I got one!

- That was awesome!

- I mean, I just needed one.

- Come on.
- Feel good now.

- [whistles]

Dotty, get in here, come on.

Come on.
- Is Naomie coming in?

- Yeah, she should be there
when we, uh, get back.

- Did y'all patch things up
since the last--

since the sip and see?

- Yeah. Fortunately,
we are strong enough

that, you know,
we just continue,

um, to get better, so...

- What was the fight over?

'Cause you seemed
a bit agitated that night.

- 'Cause she's a f---ing moron

that's gonna air
our dirty laundry 'cause she's--

acts like
a spoiled f---ing child.

You know, she left me
when I was in the shower.

And it--
I'm a pretty private person,

and especially on
delicate stuff like that.

- When I last saw you,
you were pretty upset.

Craig was really upset.

- I really think,
in his mind,

Craig thinks that
he's not at fault.

He tried to blame
everything on me.

And, you know,
that's not okay.

- Craig does have a hard time
admitting wrongdoing.

Especially when it comes to
his relationship with Naomie,

he tends to always
blame her for things

that everybody knows
is really his fault.

- I just don't want to turn
into Thomas and Kathryn, y'all.

- Oh, God.

- Coming up...

Are y'all sharing a bedroom,
or separate beds?

- To be determined.

- [gasps]
- [laughs]

[upbeat jazzy music]

- Are you gonna wear heels?
I feel like it's a long walk.

- It's all I have.
I didn't even bring boots, so.

- I know, I know.

Well, I can wear my Wellies but
they're, like, covered in muck.

- Craig shot well today, Naomie.
- Craigy?

- He started off a little rocky.

He did one shot
that was questionable,

like, it was near the dog,
it was a low shot.

- I knew where the dog was.

both: Hello.
- Wow.

- What you got there?

- Grass-fed steak tartare,

Low Country shrimp,

and deviled eggs
with candied bacon.

- Thanks.
- That looks awesome.

- Where are our friends?

- Are we allowed to eat all this

if they don't show up?

- I think just go for it,

and they'll never know
it was here.

[laughs]

- I'm gonna call Austen.

[line trilling]

[phone chiming]

- Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic
voice message system.

[beep]

- Hey, what's the story, man?

We got some hors d'oeuvres
over here,

and then, uh,
but dinner's fast approaching.

[playful music]

Should we save some for them,
or...

- I mean,
first come, first served, man.

- Maybe they--maybe they
brought some to their house.

- Or maybe they're busy
and they don't care.

♪ ♪

- So are they...together?

- Uh, are you kidding?

I took of picture of them
together in the field.

Turn this way.
The light's perfect.

Aww.

I was like, "This could be
your engagement photo."

And neither one of them said no.
- Yeah.

- Really?
- So...

♪ ♪

You're not supposed to be
drinking that whiskey.

- You know I'm indestructible?

- Well, I heard about
your floating enzyme.

- If I'm going down,
I'm going down in flames.

Yeah, this seems like
a natural moment for me

to end my, uh,
personal prohibition.

- Okay, let's go.

- Well, the question is,
where are Austen and Chelsea?

- Let's get this show
on the road.

- Shep, what are you doing?
We're leaving, dude.

- I'm making a roadie.

- I don't think we need roadies.
Won't they have drinks there?

- Do it fast.
We gotta go.

- I don't think that a week

is a sufficient enough
amount of time

to get rid of a wandering
enzyme in your liver.

But the heart wants
what it wants.

[laughs]

[laughter]

- Oh, God, I'm starving.

[upbeat jazzy music]

- This is so lovely.

This is really cute.
- Wow.

- We're the first ones here.

- They do
a really good job here.

- Yeah.
- So nicely lit, that's great.

- Are you talking about me?
[chuckles]

- Where do you want to sit,
Naomie?

- This is good.

- Everything so far, like,
the hunt was great,

the house is awesome.

- Oh, yeah.
- This looks lovely!

- Hey, guys.
- Hi!

- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hello.

- My gosh.
- Oh, hello.

- How was the, uh, shoot?

- Oh, it was great.

My first two shots.
They were, like, far away, too.

- This dude was a badass today.
- Boom, boom.

- I've never seen, I mean...
- I try.

I do.
- That's good.

- Hi.
- Three times.

I was like
pop, dead, pop, dead.

It was pretty solid.
- Amazing.

- Yeah, you were pretty good.

- I mean, I'm buying a gun.
- You're getting a gun?

- I'm pretty sure 'cause, like,

I need a gun in my hand
at all times.

- Yeah.

Chelsea likes a guy
with dip and guns

and pick-up trucks,

and Austen's like,

"Dip?
Yeah, check.

Gun?
Check."

- You look wonderful.
Good to see you.

- I think Austen's
trying to get laid.

[laughs]

Where the hell--
we had hors d'oeuvres.

We had everything.
- No.

- Yeah, we did.
- What were y'all doing?

- Wait, what?

- What were y'all doing?
- Where have you been?

I called you.

- I know, I guess
we were just doing things.

[playful music]

♪ ♪

What do you want from me?

- Yeah, and wait,
are y'all the only two

staying in your cabin?

♪ ♪

- That's right.

- Are y'all sharing a bedroom,
or separate beds?

- The bedroom...
- To be determined.

- [gasps]
- [laughs]

- Sadly, I am now
coming to terms

with the fact that

Shep has probably lost

any chance he ever had
with Chelsea.

- Look what the cat dragged in!
- Hey!

[clapping]
Yes!

- Thomas, you made it!

- Hi, sweetie.

- Hi, Thomas.
How you doing?

- Good, good to see you.

- I'm so glad you made it out.

I've been calling you,
and I didn't think you'd come.

Just knowing that Patricia's
trying to sort of

play matchmaker
with Thomas and I...

- Where are we sitting?

- I just feel like right now
I need to keep my distance.

And I don't want to
give Thomas the wrong idea.

- Thomas, it's good
to have you here.

- Cheers to Thomas.

- Back in the mountains!
- Back in the mountains.

- Good to be in the alpine.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
[laughter]

- I will say,
I got some good photos today.

- Thank you.

- Austen,
let me just show you

how adorable you are.

I mean, the dimples, good Lord.

[indistinct chatter]

- From one dimple to the next.

- From one dimple to the next.

- [laughing]

- Landon, I think it's wonderful

that you're building
your website.

Cheers to that.

- You know, I'm just trying
to be the best I can be,

again and again and again,

until I get
turned into diamonds.

[laughs]

- Press hard enough
for long enough

and you will...

- Press hard enough for long
enough and you'll be a diamond.

- You'll shine through.
- I'm writing that down.

- Yeah, I see
what you're saying.

- That is some good stuff
right there, Austen.

- All right.

- [laughing]

- [chuckling]

- I don't know why else

Shep would give a rat's ass

Landon is flirting with Austen

if he didn't have a thing
for Chelsea.

Maybe there's
a little bit of jealousy.

- "Hard enough
and long enough..."

- Coming up...

[laughs]

[jazzy music]

- Uh-oh.

- Oh, wow.
- Oh, that looks beautiful.

- Wow.
- My God.

- Wow.

- That's the one I killed.
[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Is it amazing?

- Oh, my gosh.

- So good.
- So good.

- The best part of hunting

is getting everybody together

to eat meals
that you shot that day.

That's--that's what
it's all about.

- Bon appetito.

- So, Thomas, how are
Kensie and Saint doing?

- Oh, they're great.

Little Saint, I was able
to make him laugh all day long.

[baby giggling]

- How'd you do it?

- I made little
funny faces at him,

sing to him.

- Let's see it.
- Yeah, do it!

- Sing!

- Let's see the face
you made at him.

- I'm not gonna do it
in front of you guys.

- Why?

- I don't want
to embarrass myself.

- No.
- Sweet, it's sweet.

- It's endearing.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- Aww.

- I will say that, you know,

I've really enjoyed spending
a lot of time with them,

and I never thought
I'd be that way.

- Yeah, that's really cool.

- T--Thomas, let me ask you.

In custody, I mean,
how's that going?

I hope it's amicable.
- "Amicable."

- Amicable.
- "A-mic-able."

- "A-mic-able" is the English
way to pronounce it.

Hope it's amicable.

- Amicable, "a-mi-cable,"
whatever, you--you know,

I want, you know, their mom
to be healthy and happy and...

- Mm-hmm.
- And participative

in their lives, I mean.

- "Participatory."

- Participatory.
- I will say this, though.

Kathryn has expressed a lot
of want to be a better mom.

She told me in person.
- No, she came by, and, uh...

- And from what she told us,

she's working on herself.

You're not gonna be
perfect overnight,

so we have to give her
that second chance

to try to get there.

- Liz is the godmother
of these children.

You know, she's going to be
on Kathryn's team.

She kind of has to be.

But why on Earth
would anybody believe

that Kathryn really
has changed her colors?

- She really wants
to make it work.

- Yeah, you know,

I've reached out to her.

- You did?
- I sent her a text.

- Really?

- But she's not responded,
you know?

- Kathryn will never
be out of the picture.

And because she will
always be part of the equation,

that will always
make me hesitant to...

get involved, you know?

I will always still have,
like, a little bit of weariness.

I will always, like,
literally think that she's,

like, in the bushes
or something.

- [claps hands] Guys,
here what I want to say.

At our place, we have--
- Let's.

- We have alcohol.

- When in doubt...
- Get the bourbon out.

- I kind of wanted
to just prove to myself

that I could hit the brakes

for a brief period.

Let's, uh, commence.
- Fabulous.

- I hang my hat on that
for the time being.

[laughter]

- That'll work, right?
- Well, not yet, if--

- Watch out.
- Holy sh--.

- I don't know what to do.
This is all you.

It's jammed.

♪ ♪

[laughs]

- Hey, it's
Whitney Sudler-Smith!

- Whoo!
- Whitney!

- Hey!
- Party!

[indistinct shouting
and laughter]

♪ ♪

- [laughing]

[downbeat music]

- We're leaving.
- That's a good call.

Night.
- Good night.

- It's been real,
it's been fun.

- Awesome night.
- Later, guys.

- Hey, Austen,

don't come too fast.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God.

- What a night.
- You have fun?

- I had a blast.
Did you have a good time?

- I did.
- I think--oh!

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[knocking on door]
- Whitney, baby?

- Fancy.
- F--- off!

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

[deodorant clatters]

♪ ♪

- Come on, motherf---ers
- Wake up, Whitney!

- [snoring]

- Bye, Thomas.

- I never thought
I'd miss the kids so much.

I can't wait to see them.

- I think that's great.

- All right, my man.
- Tell them, um,

tell them we miss them.
- Give them our love.

- Okay.
- Okay, bye.

- All right.
- All right, brother.

Well, I'll see you
back in Charleston.

- Okay.
- Be good.

- Bye, y'all.

- Thanks for letting me
bunk up with you.

- Anytime.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Great to see you.
- Tell Craig we said bye.

- I will.
- Let's do it.

- Back to South Cackalacky.

- No more booze.

I'm back on the wagon.

- You ain't on no f---ing wagon.

You're just lying to yourself.
- [chuckles]

Oh, man.

I'm horribly hungover,

but no bitching.

We're gonna have a good ride.

- Um, I'm packed.

Should I call
Austen and Chelsea,

tell them to come here?

Where are they?

- I think they're in their...

love shack.
- Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

[sexy funk music]

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

- [laughs, sighs]

- Oh, goodness.

- You want to be a real man

and make me some breakfast?

- Uh, I was a real man

when I hunt your dinner
last night.

- You ain't lying about that.

That's all I wanted was
to see you, like, in the woods,

killing something.
[soft laugh]

And look where it landed ya.

- I need to go hunting
more often.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

I feel like...
- [laughs]

- I am nervous to meet up
with everyone.

- Like that
"Oh, look at these two,

come back from the love shack."

What are you--

I mean, is that something
that, like, you--you--

like, are comfortable
talking about?

Or like making it...
- Yeah.

- Known to people, or...

- I don't--I mean, listen.

I think we're both
on the same page as far as

relationship stuff.

- That's--that's for damn sure.

- We like
our independence.

[music stops]

You know?

- So what you're saying is that
you don't see any problem with--

- I like it the way it is.

♪ ♪

- Well...
[clears throat]

I mean, I feel like
when I meet someone

that I, like,
want to hang out with again,

you know, there's definitely
like a bit of puppy love.

And that's just funny because...
- Aww.

- Because we're talking about...
- [laughs]

- Oh, aww.

- I do like you.
- Okay.

That's good.

- But I'm, like,

weary of relationships.

- [sighs] F---.

I, like--
- But you're that guy--

you're--you're having fun...
- Yeah.

- You don't really
want anything,

like, super serious...
- I mean--

- And that's how I am.

[playful music]

- You know, normally
you sleep with someone,

and you expect the girl

to kind of have
a certain bit of attachment.

But all of a sudden it's me.

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

I'm a loser.

- You've had puppy love?

Aww.

[laughs]

- Still to come on this season
of "Southern Charm"...

- You can't go to Key West
and not get on a moped.

[beeping horn]
Ah, don't cut me off!

- I think you both
have to think about

are you willing
to put in the work

to make this relationship
survive?

- No, he literally looks at me
and goes, "F--- you."

- I'm getting to my point

where I can't take it anymore.

- This girl?
- Yeah.

- She...
- Yeah.

- Is your soul mate.

- I mean, I'm 33 years old.
I'm not getting any younger.

My husband's 42.

- Sounds like you're ready
to do something.

- I mean, he would be

the best dad
anybody could possibly...

- I received this letter
in the mail today

that blew me away.

It's, like, apologetic.
- Hmm.

- But I don't know
if it's a huge manipulation.

[dramatic music]

- So Shep the other night,

he, like, grabs my arm

and he pulls me
out of the backdoor.

- So he, like, grabbed you?
- Yeah.

He just immediately turns around

and just, like, goes in
to, like,

kiss me.

- It's called just
being the bigger person.

That's all it is.

How f---ing stupid
is everybody here?

- I took the high road
so many times.

- No, you have never
taken the high road.

- Craig, I need you
to apologize to me.

That's not true.

- Shep, you forcibly
pulled her out there.

- I did nothing.
- It's kind of sh---y, no?

- I want to drop this.

I couldn't give
two f---s anymore.

- Yeah, obviously, 'cause
you tried to f--- the girl.

- If I had just had a child
with someone,

and then another girl--

- Chelsea, she went around town

telling everyone I was a whore,
saying that...

- I--listen,
I'm not on her side.

- Look, you're even taking
her side right now.

- No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.

- There is no girl code,
I'm sorry.

That's the lamest thing
I've ever heard.

Grow up.

[discordant music]

♪ ♪

- Thomas, look at me,
in the eyes.

♪ ♪

I loved you so much.

And I will always love you.

- For more "Southern Charm,"
go to bravotv.com.

[bell ringing]