All language subtitles for Green.Wing.S02E08.DVDRip.Plus.Comm.DD.2.0.x264-MaG

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,160 It's not his, Holly's kid. She lied, dyed his hair. 2 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,271 She's history. 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:14,793 - You forgotten what he put you through? - Forgotten - no, forgiven - perhaps. 4 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,398 I think I'm having a breakdown. 5 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,511 So am I. 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:27,668 Did you ever think that maybe we just weren't supposed to get together? 7 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,155 Hah! I'm here! 8 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,993 (screams ) 9 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,793 Oh, God! 10 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,237 ( ''Tired of Waiting'' by The Kinks ) 11 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,271 So tired 12 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,311 Tired of waiting 13 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,389 Tired of waiting for you 14 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,956 - Morning, Mac. - I was a lonely soul 15 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,550 I had nobody till I met you 16 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,036 But you keep me waiting 17 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,957 All of the time 18 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,036 What can I do? 19 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,071 - It's your life - Coming. 20 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,715 And you can do what you want 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,434 Do what you like 22 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,916 But please don't keep me waiting 23 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,558 Please don't keep me waiting 24 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,478 Cos I'm so tired 25 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,477 Tired of waiting 26 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,434 Tired of waiting for you 27 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,278 (gargles ) 28 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,311 So tired 29 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,271 Tired of waiting 30 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:48,110 Tired of waiting for you 31 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,195 For you 32 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,717 Nearly there. 33 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,796 Nearly. 34 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,989 - It's all yours. - About bloody time. 35 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,475 - Do you wanna... - What? 36 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,551 - Put some makeup on? - Oh, thanks. 37 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,989 No, no, no. I mean, you look great, but... 38 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,348 - No! - What? 39 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,630 - Oh, you've spoiled it! - Spoiled what? 40 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,752 - The mirror. I'd written in it. - Really? What did you write? 41 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:21,716 Well, you know, it doesn't matter now, but if you must know, it was ' I love you' . 42 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,996 - You bloody narcissist. Now, get out. - Well... 43 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,839 - No, go on. - Are you gonna see Ginger Nuts today? 44 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,111 - We work with Ginger Nuts. - Can't we go to a different hospital? 45 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,800 - What? - You and me do our stuff somewhere else. 46 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,195 No. Go away. 47 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,756 - Oh, let me brush your teeth. - No. Get out. 48 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,636 I'll do the top and you do the bottom. 49 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,836 Sue White. 50 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,915 Yeah. 51 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,555 Don't mind me. Just feeling a little Morrissey today. 52 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,832 Ah, like an attention-seeking dilettante wallowing in teenage angst 53 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:03,396 whilst displaying a spurious nostalgia for the working classes. 54 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,751 - Aye, that's the fellow. - Yep. For you. 55 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,676 A restraining order? 56 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,150 - But why, Mac, why? - Because life is too short. 57 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,319 Read it, learn it by heart, never bother me again. 58 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,359 - Can I do it if I don't actually touch...? - No, no, no. 59 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:33,951 What about if I spoke in Portuguese? (speaks Portuguese) 60 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,755 No. 61 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,031 Not in any language ever. 62 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,673 I could sniff your intoxicating trouser fragrance. (sniffs ) 63 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,315 Look, don't you think you sound like an ink-jet printer? 64 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,795 Go away or go to jail. 65 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:59,358 But what about the wee bairn? 66 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,470 Harriet, what the fuck? 67 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,832 Ian found out about Lyndon and threw me out. Told me to take what I needed and leave. 68 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,428 And I couldn't find a suitcase. 69 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,710 It's very hot in here. 70 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,511 What happened to you? 71 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,596 I got really drunk last night. 72 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,633 The hen party padlocked this to my testicles. 73 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,432 (howls ) 74 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,279 Sorry. It didn't hurt you, did it? 75 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,356 - Morning, guys. - Hiya. 76 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,276 (knocking) 77 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,236 Who's there? 78 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,396 Hm? 79 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,554 Is that you? 80 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:10,630 You, back from the grave to wreak your dwarfish vengeance upon me? 81 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,513 Well, I won't have it! You... I won't! 82 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,596 So... 83 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,875 You're not real. You get out! You're not real. 84 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,958 You're just a midgety figment of my imagination. Be gone! 85 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,559 Oh, bloody... 86 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,636 Hello, Alan. 87 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,788 - I can't go into my office. - You're in my cupboard. 88 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,480 - I can't face people. - You're in my cupboard. 89 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,592 - Oh, Jesus, Alan, we're going to prison. - No, we're not. 90 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,995 - D'you what'll happen to me in prison? - What? 91 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,429 I'll be lady-bummed. 92 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,869 I'll end up some bitch's bitch. 93 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,468 I won't let them. You're my bitch. 94 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,034 Criminals always get caught. Don't you watch TV? 95 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,594 - We're not going to prison! - They'll look for us. 96 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,632 Why? Where's the motive? Why would we murder a dwarf? 97 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,990 - Why would you kill a dwarf? - You shut up! 98 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,476 You shut up with your...! I've had it up to here with dwarves! 99 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,239 - No more dwarf! - Yes, that's right, thanks to you. 100 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,316 You... 101 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,116 Alan? (knocks ) 102 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,955 - What? - I'm hungry. 103 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,750 And I need a pee. 104 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,795 I'll... I'll look after you. 105 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,676 I love you. 106 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,793 - (groans ) - Mm-hm. 107 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,909 (groans ) 108 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,679 - I love her. I love her. - Do you? 109 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,756 - Yeah. - (laughs ) 110 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,193 - Oh, how sweet. - What? 111 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,073 - No, it is. That's sweet. It's cute. - It's not cute. 112 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,634 - Oh, it is, it is. - It's... it's... 113 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:58,198 - Well, then, just let her go. Let her go. - I don't... I wanna keep her. 114 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,311 Suit yourself, then. Taxidermist. 115 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,035 You'll need to kill her, have her stuffed before she'll stay with you. 116 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,879 You know nothing about love. You don't know a thing. 117 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,797 - Well, go on, why don't you tell me about it? - Why don't I? 118 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,148 - Do you know about it? - Yeah. 119 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,033 - Go on, then. Let's hear it. - Right. 120 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,758 Love... 121 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,916 is... 122 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,998 waking up in the middle of the night... 123 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,350 - That's about as far as I've got. - Is it? 124 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,994 - Yeah. - Right. It's not great, is it? 125 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,076 Well... 126 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,556 (groans ) 127 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:50,359 Have a chocolate cock. They're quite cheering. 128 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,710 No, not both of them. 129 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,273 They are actually quite cheering. 130 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,469 - (Joanna ) Vodka? - No, my darling, I think not. 131 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,353 - No vodka for you. Maybe a coffee or... - (knock at door) 132 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,029 Hi. We were just wondering whether you'd cancelled today's session. 133 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,950 - We thought maybe it would be in here. - Right. Yes. Cancelled. Hm. 134 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,435 Is that smoke? 135 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,712 Yes. It's... it's a smoking... It's my... my smoking cupboard. 136 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,308 - Oh, right, yeah. There might be a fire. - No. No. 137 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,558 - They say, ' No smoke without fire.' - That is precisely what a fool might think. 138 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,797 A fool who also thinks that I might keep a person in storage 139 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:48,675 and, not only that, but give them a cigarette to smoke within. 140 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,756 - (Joanna whispers ) Alan? - Shut up. 141 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,996 - What? - Shut up. 142 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,759 Well, not you. Her. No, him. Him. 143 00:08:55,880 --> 00:09:00,715 - Did you say anything? - No, well, shut up, nobody. Just... 144 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,630 Is... 145 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,991 - Is that a glass of wee? - No, no, that's apple juice. 146 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:15,240 - Oh, that's funny, cos it... it smells like wee. - No, it's... it's or-organic. 147 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,112 That's... 148 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,949 - (Boyce) Chin-chin. - Chinny chin-chin and, er, bottoms. 149 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,036 (gibbers ) 150 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,198 - Oh, yes. - Refreshing. 151 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,151 Lovely. It's-it's the, um... 152 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,952 (gibbers ) 153 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,036 Yes. Mm. 154 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,916 ( drill) 155 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,751 Thank you very much, cupboard lady. 156 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:08,829 (retches ) 157 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,678 - I love it when patients give you things. - Apart from venereal disease. 158 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,791 - He's on his last legs. - Who, yo-yo man? 159 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,878 - I'm assuming he had a real name. - But you can't remember it. 160 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:34,437 - Can you? - No, but you're the moral one, so it's worse. 161 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,912 - You know yo-yo man died. - Yeah. He had a name, actually. 162 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,318 - I can't remember what it was. - Yeah, neither can we. 163 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,477 You know, the last thing he said to me was: 164 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,512 ' Don't die alone like me in a place like this.' 165 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,596 ' Find someone you love.' 166 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:58,953 ' Ask them to marry you, raise children together and live a full and rich, happy life.' 167 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,070 I don't get it. 168 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,316 Walk the dog. 169 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,635 Catch the monkey. 170 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,716 Chase the rabbit. 171 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,630 Open the fridge. 172 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,716 Rearrange the kitchen. 173 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,990 - Wise words. - Yeah. Good old yo-yo man. 174 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,471 Stroke the beaver. 175 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,556 Smell the witch. 176 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,795 Oh, count the ants. 177 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,276 All I'm saying is that you will never be a one-woman man. 178 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,356 - That's rubbish. I am. I am. - Yeah? 179 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,549 Yeah. 180 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,877 - What about that new blonde girl in ENT? - Not interested. 181 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,309 - Not interested? - No. No. I've changed. 182 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,396 How about Graham in dermatology? 183 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,637 Changed, as in I think I'm ready for commitment. 184 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,069 I'll sign your commitment papers today. 185 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,873 - Commitment with a woman. - Ah. 186 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,275 I can see myself with about a dozen children. 187 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,709 - That's illegal, isn't it? - Mac! 188 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,308 - What would you do with them? - Teach them Guyball. 189 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,317 - I'd buy them a train set. - A train set? 190 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,115 - I love train sets. - You do. It's supposed to be for the children. 191 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,516 - I was never allowed one. - Nothing wrong with wanting a train set. 192 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,792 That's a very good quality in a wife. Woman. Doctor. 193 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,717 If you're looking for a wife/woman/doctor... 194 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,353 Aren't you looking for a wife/woman/doctor? 195 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,917 Well, I haven't placed an advert in Wife/Woman/Doctor Weekly this week. 196 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:41,511 - Which week might you put an ad in, then? - Maybe he will never put an ad in. 197 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,110 - Is that true? - Well, it depends. It's difficult, placing an ad. 198 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,471 Sometimes you get your hopes up and then the person 199 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:53,355 who answers the ad can let you down, then suddenly you're back to where you started. 200 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,075 I think you need to be very sure before you place the ad. 201 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,078 Suppose you're waiting for the ad from a specific person? 202 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:05,797 Do you wait for that ad or do you go with another ad, one that's maybe got a typo in it? 203 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,832 I think you have to know exactly what you want. 204 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,315 - I see. - What do you mean by typo, exactly? 205 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,795 Yeah, I'm not sure. 206 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,071 - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. - (Joanna moans ) 207 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,760 Yes, oh, oh, oh, oh! Ah, ho, ho, ho, ho! 208 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,110 - (grunts ) - (Joanna moans ) 209 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,673 Dr Statham? 210 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,473 Oh. Erm... 211 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,591 You may be thinking, erm... 212 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,633 There's no need to stare. It's not dirty. It's not a cupboard. It's a woman. 213 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,150 But she won't come out, hence the need for... for this. 214 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,589 (grunts ) 215 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,676 - Wait. No. - (Joanna moans ) 216 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,236 No, sorry. M-magic has gone. 217 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,759 And I think I may have a splinter. 218 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,956 ( hums ) 219 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,911 Two, four, six, eight! We've got a message from your mate! 220 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,190 Give us an M! 221 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,150 Excuse me. 222 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,430 Give us an M! 223 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,709 Er, M. 224 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,071 - Give us an A! - A. 225 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,395 - Give us a... - Is it a C? 226 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,829 It's an R. 227 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,029 Oh, R. 228 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,311 Give us a T-I-N! 229 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,236 - Martin. - Yeah! 230 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,631 Marry him! Marry him! Marry him! Marry him! 231 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,716 Marry me. 232 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,477 Sorry, Martin. 233 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,750 - She said no. - What? 234 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:05,796 She said no! She said no! She said no! She said no! She said no! She said no! 235 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,154 Yeah! 236 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,837 What's that? More apple juice? 237 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,076 No, Mr Boyce, it's coffee. 238 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,114 (laughs ) 239 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,674 - No, it is coffee. Look. - No, not that, this. 240 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,997 No, it's about a gentleman of restricted growth. 241 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,908 Y-you mean the-the thing, the pixie, the dwarf, is it? 242 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,429 - If you like, yeah. - Oh. W-well, why is it funny? 243 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,678 He owned a small business and here they've referred to him as a small businessman. 244 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,837 - Do you get it? Fantastic journalism. - And what does it say? 245 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:45,954 It says, ' The disappearance of Alistair Taylor took an interesting twist today 246 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:51,438 when it was discovered that the small businessman had debts of over GBP2.3 million.' 247 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,312 Ooh! Ah. 248 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:57,672 Yeah. His... ' His disappearance is now being treated by police as suicide.' 249 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,473 Oh, y...! (laughs ) 250 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,559 That's very... You made me spill my coffee. So funny. That's... hah! 251 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,717 - You all right? - Oh, yes. You have it. You have the coffee. 252 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,593 Oh! Ha-ha! 253 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,516 You can come out. Come on! Out, out, out! 254 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,710 - We're in the clear. Yes! - No. 255 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,230 Come on, yes. I mean, it's in the paper. Everything... They think... 256 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,399 they... they... they think... they... they think... they think it's a suicide. 257 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:41,638 It's... it's in the... Th-th-the dwarf was a bankrupt. 258 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,320 - I'm not coming out. - No, come on. You must come out. 259 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,113 - I'm not coming out. Get off me. - Come out, out, out. 260 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,434 - I'm not... - Come out! 261 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,393 - Me! - Get out, you! Come out. I'll pull you out. 262 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,988 Right, come on. Out, come on. Right. 263 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:59,035 Now, come on. Pull yourself together. Pull yourself together. Now, listen. Listen. 264 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,276 Everything's fine. We've done it. 265 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,960 - We are beyond the law. - No. 266 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,116 Yes, yes! Come on! 267 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,310 Come on! 268 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,998 Hm? Hm? Hm? 269 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,111 Come on, w-we... This is our time. 270 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,390 Yes. Come on. Yes. 271 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,556 Yes. 272 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,079 Come on. Come on. 273 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,633 Oh. 274 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,512 We got away with it. 275 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,915 Yes, my sweet. 276 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,395 We didn't just cross the line. 277 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,670 Maybe there is no line. 278 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,552 - No rules. - No. 279 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,035 We could do anything. 280 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,116 Anything. 281 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,595 Oh. 282 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,910 Oh. 283 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,359 No, not the pens. 284 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,715 - Hi. - Hi. 285 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,513 I... I wanted to talk to you about earlier. 286 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,312 Who? 287 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:58,390 You know, as in earlier on today when you wrote ' I love you' on-on the mirror. 288 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,632 You know, when you wrote ' I love you' on the mirror. 289 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:10,636 Well, someone who looked and sounded just like you did. 290 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,194 It was meant for me, wasn't it? 291 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,918 Right. 292 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,679 It's a shame, because I realise that I... 293 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,713 I didn't take the person who did it seriously at the time. I wanted to thank them. 294 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,796 - Thank them? - Yeah. 295 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,189 I, er... I, um... 296 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,311 I-I liked it. 297 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,592 I liked that they wrote that. I-I like... them. 298 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,631 - But, you know, as it wasn't you... - Marry me. 299 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,557 What? 300 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,035 - Marry me. - Is this some sort of bet? 301 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:50,597 No, no, no, no. This is me, here and now, asking you to marry me. 302 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,676 Marry me. 303 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,913 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, I get that a lot. 304 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,110 - I'm sure you do. - Please don't say no. 305 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,913 Say maybe. Say you'll think about it, but don't say no. 306 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,837 OK. 307 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,599 - OK, you'll think about it? - OK, I'll think about it. 308 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,676 - Really? - Really. 309 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,678 Kiss me again while I think about it. 310 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,794 Oh, yes. (laughs ) 311 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,310 - This is what you've always wanted to do? - Yes, yes. 312 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,113 We can do anything. Let's do something exciting. 313 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,676 - Come on, make the call. Go on. - All right. 314 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:04,795 Hello. Can you tell Mr Boyce he's wanted in Dr Statham's office right away, please? 315 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,276 - Yeah, thank you. He's on his way. - Oh, good, good. 316 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,278 It'll be very funny. This will be very funny. Oh! 317 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,678 No, turn it, turn it, turn it so the slit's forward so I can see when to jump out. 318 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,756 (laughs ) 319 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,676 ( door closes ) 320 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,873 - You are really good at that. - I practise a lot. 321 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,753 Of course, if you say yes, 322 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,030 I'll just practise on you. 323 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,835 - Too much? - A bit. 324 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,916 Yeah. Sorry. 325 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,954 He'll never do that. 326 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,150 He-he never sees anything through. 327 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,430 You'll be waiting forever. 328 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,994 And-and he kisses like a newt. 329 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,714 I'm told. 330 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,038 (knock at door) 331 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,799 Dr Statham, you wanted to see me? 332 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,676 (Statham ) Um... 333 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,153 yes. 334 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:26,398 Is it about the reports I did last? I mean, I can do them a lot better. 335 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,875 No, they're fine. Very good. 336 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,918 - Right. Can I... can I go? - Um, yes. 337 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,996 OK. See you. 338 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,876 - Are you gonna do any work today? - Not till I know it's safe. 339 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,514 - What's the problem? - I thought I saw a Clanger. 340 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,676 Jesus! 341 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,552 - A what? - A Clanger. 342 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,238 Oh. 343 00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:59,033 I thought you said ' shark' . 344 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,116 (makes Clanger noises ) 345 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,876 Stop it! 346 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,718 - Come in. - I am in. Are you blind as well as Scottish? 347 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,434 - What do you want? - You're fired. 348 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,313 Go on. Pack your bags and piss off. 349 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,596 Have you got official confirmation of this in writing, perhaps? 350 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,075 - Yeah. - Can I see it? 351 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,309 - ' I love you.' - ' Bye-bye, bitch.' 352 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,159 Any particular reason at all? 353 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,511 - Yeah, you're fat. - Yeah. Fair enough. 354 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,990 Hello. How are you? 355 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,957 What, no quips? No witty asides? 356 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:01,915 No hilarious gags? Are you feeling all right? Is there something wrong? 357 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,996 No. 358 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,958 Oh, God, no. You bloody, bloody man! 359 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,435 You had to go and show off, didn't you? 360 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,791 Mac, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. It just happened. 361 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,276 My brain got all fuzzy. It never meant anything. It was just a kiss. 362 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,709 Quite a long kiss, and there were two of them, 363 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,994 but I have to assure you that I feel absolutely nothing for Guy. 364 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,790 He didn't tell me. 365 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,516 - Oh. - Hm. 366 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,514 Are you all right with the fact that we kissed? 367 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,950 - We never kissed. - No, me and Caroline. 368 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,469 Fine, yeah. 369 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,830 Are you all right with what she said? 370 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,713 Yeah, fine. It was all a bit vague, really. 371 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,071 ' I feel absolutely nothing for Guy.' That was vague, was it? 372 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:13,035 Oh, that bit. Well, yeah, I mean, she was just trying to... spare your feelings. 373 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,674 We all work together. She had to be diplomatic. 374 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,349 Right. So if I just went for it one day, say, I said, you know... 375 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,552 asked her to marry me, she would turn me down flat, would she? 376 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,036 - Well, I know you. You wouldn't do that. - Right. Wouldn't I? 377 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,276 No. 378 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,356 Dr Todd, hello. 379 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,390 So, erm... I was wondering if I could ask you something. 380 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,195 - No, you can't! - Well, what do you mean? 381 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,710 What? What? What, I mean, what do I mean? 382 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,910 No, no, sorry. Sorry. Carry on. Fine. 383 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,157 - Do you think that...? - No, wait! 384 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,350 Just... All right, just go on. 385 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,630 Be careful. Be careful. 386 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,515 (shouts ) 387 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,716 (shouts ) 388 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,596 (loud choking sounds ) 389 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:16,150 Would you consider an aortal incision to be worth the risk in this case? 390 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,677 I don't think I would, no. 391 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,997 She said no! Boo ya! 392 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:29,275 Although I appreciate Dr Macartney taking a moment to respect my professional opinion. 393 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,516 No, no, no, no, no. 394 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,110 Oh, dear. (strains ) 395 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,352 - You're a bit late. - Yes, I thought it's best 396 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:50,952 not to bother with your silly little meeting, as you're all a bunch of bloody oiks. 397 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,232 I come to inform you that the sandwiches you're eating have been tampered with. 398 00:25:55,360 --> 00:26:00,798 They contain traces of my very own poo. 399 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,071 So, what do you think of that, hm? Hm? 400 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,556 You're eating poowiches. You're playing Russian poolette. 401 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,272 So. Mm-hm. 402 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,753 Yes. 403 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,075 Ah. 404 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:17,910 These have been delivered by Turnbulls. They arrived five minutes ago. They're very good. 405 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,951 Care to try one? 406 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,674 (stammers ) Yes, they have. 407 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,839 Yes, exactly. And the ones with the clingfilm on that I put there? 408 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,190 Ah, I think those went to the patients. 409 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:34,394 The patients, yes. And-and hopefully they'll all die of poo. 410 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,476 You bloody fucksies. 411 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,959 Joanna. 412 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,832 Charles. 413 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,478 Right. Er... 46B, 414 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,556 complaints procedure. 415 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,676 (phones buzz) 416 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,317 - Kiss me. - What? 417 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,477 Kiss me. I need someone to kiss me now. 418 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,790 I went too far, didn't I? 419 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,436 (gasps ) Ow! 420 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,676 (whimpers ) 421 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,594 Oh, it doesn't matter, doesn't matter. 422 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,676 - Hi. - Hi. 423 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,713 - I wanted to... to ask you something. - Did you? 424 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,675 Yeah. Well, you know, hence me standing here saying I wanna ask you something. 425 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,951 - Yeah. What do you want? - Erm... 426 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,159 you. 427 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,432 Well, you've come to the right place, cos here I am. 428 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,593 Yeah. No, I, erm... 429 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,280 - I-I want you. - Oh. 430 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,869 Oh. 431 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,678 Oh. 432 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,438 Yeah. Erm... 433 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:45,754 OK. 434 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,874 Not really sure how... how this is gonna come out, so, um, it's a bit tricky, 435 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,956 but, um... 436 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,310 - Caroline... - Wait. Wait. 437 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,432 - Are you... are you about to propose? - Um... 438 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,199 Only-only it'll be my third today. 439 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,356 Oh, great. Right. Quite a day. 440 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,391 - Yeah. - Yeah. 441 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:08,873 Yeah. 442 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,073 So, what did you say to these... these proposals? 443 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,351 A yes, no and a maybe. 444 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,031 Right. 445 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,630 So, what would I be? A yes, no or maybe? 446 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,638 Oh, you're the yes. 447 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,115 Of course, you realise that I didn't actually propose to you just now? 448 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,836 No... no, no, but then, you know, you were pacing about and looking nervous, so I... 449 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:44,717 Yeah, yeah, that's... No, that's cos I was building up to getting round to asking you 450 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,673 whether or not you would swap shifts with me tonight. 451 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,236 Short notice, I know, so you don't have to. 452 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:57,515 Really not a problem. I can ask someone else. So it's cool. 453 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,279 - You all right? - Yeah. 454 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,072 Good. Good. 455 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,031 No, I just thought... 456 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,119 - What? What did you think? - I... I thought you were going... 457 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,038 No, I was just... Well, I don't know what I was. 458 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,517 And anyway, who actually wants to get married these days? I mean, it's just so... 459 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,790 Absolutely. Absolutely. 460 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,993 - You could always move in with me. - What? 461 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:36,558 Well, that's what I was gonna ask you before I made up the bit about swapping shifts. 462 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,830 Why would you do that? 463 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,795 Cos, um... 464 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:49,119 I wanted to make really sure that I could live in the same house 465 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,198 as both your eyebrows. 466 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,071 - You can be very cruel sometimes. - Yes. 467 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,120 I don't think I'd quite finished. 468 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,476 Go! Go! 469 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,751 - Go! Run! Just go. - Just get off the... 470 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,391 Come on. Let's... 471 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,353 - Come on. Pull yourself together. - There's a police car! 472 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,552 - I know. I know. - They've... Oh, my God, they've come for me. 473 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,636 Quick, run! 474 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:14,075 Well, where are you? No, where are you? 475 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,111 Where are you? 476 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:21,598 I love Fridays, cos the afternoon doesn't really count, does it? 477 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:26,436 Well, then, I should be able to see you. 478 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,154 Where? 479 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,236 No, I can't see you. 480 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,468 No. I can't see you. 481 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:40,993 I can't see you. Look, just give me a call when you're back in the building. Yeah, OK. 482 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,429 Yeah, all right. Bye. 483 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,238 Shh! 484 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:07,876 (phone rings ) 485 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,353 (foreign accent) Hello? No, Dr Statham, no, he... 486 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,199 (normal accent) H-hello. Is it you? Yes. 487 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,880 Yes. Yes, I'm ready. Hm? What? 488 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,636 W-w-where are they? 489 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,512 Oh, my fuck. Oh, my fuck. 490 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,030 - Well, what shall I do? Hm? - ( distant sirens ) 491 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:41,110 They're here. They're here. Just.... Don't... You wait. Wait. You stay. Wait. Wait for me. 492 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,272 OK. 493 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,197 Ah. Hi, there. Hi. 494 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,153 Hi, I'm Dr Macartney. How are you feeling? 495 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:55,230 I need to borrow Dr Todd just for a moment, because it's... it's rather urgent. Excuse me. 496 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,155 - Hi. - What now? 497 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:02,751 - I need to ask your advice. - Advice about what? 498 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:07,715 About whether I should apologise verbally or physically. 499 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,274 Physically? 500 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,118 Good. You see? 501 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,595 Unbiased and instinctive. 502 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,232 - Whoa. - (giggles ) 503 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,113 - I accept your apology. - Good. Great. 504 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:45,119 Um, I'd like you to try and get on with this as fast as you can, 505 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:49,279 because we're gonna go away somewhere for the weekend. OK? 506 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,391 - But-but what about my shift? - Sorted. 507 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,876 I've got you cover with Dopey Daniel. OK? 508 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,629 You are gonna be fine. Just lose some weight. 509 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,516 (she pants ) 510 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:25,477 - Martin. Erm... er... good luck. - With what? 511 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:30,515 Well, with everything. Your life, your... I can't stop now. I'm in a rush. 512 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,519 All right. Well, it's good to see you, even though you are on the run, as it were. 513 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:38,076 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not on the run, I'm on the... 514 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,792 - Game? - No, on the... 515 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,876 - Sauce? - No, no. I'm on the... 516 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,150 - Pill? - No! I'm on the... 517 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,829 - Blob? - No, on the... on the... 518 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:52,351 - Sunny side of the street? - No, no. I'm on the... on the... on the... 519 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,835 - holiday. - Oh, holiday. 520 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,030 Oh, right. Well, have fun. 521 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:01,278 Yeah, yeah, I will. I'd better... better go. I've got a... got a plane to catch. 522 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,995 Mexico, probably, or Puerto Ventura or... 523 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,076 Nowhere in England. 524 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:18,919 (screams ) 525 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,671 - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. - Oh, it's you. 526 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,674 Didn't there used to be a yucca here or something? 527 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,950 No. 528 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,548 Oh. 529 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,873 The weasel is still in its cage. 530 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,476 The weasel is still in its cage. 531 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:53,072 The weasel is out of the cage. The weasel is out of the cage. 532 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,509 Fly, pelicans. Go, go, go. 533 00:36:55,640 --> 00:37:00,668 The weasel is returning to the cage, so pelicans to the kitchen. 534 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,155 Pelicans, go to the kitchen. 535 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,710 The... Go to the kitchen. 536 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,434 The kitchen. 537 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,916 It's the bush. The kitchen is the bush. 538 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,115 Just a minute. Where? 539 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:18,435 - There. - Have you said kitchen? 540 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,518 The kitchen is the... Look, we've arranged all of this. 541 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,519 I've only heard bush. Well, you keep saying bush. Perhaps... 542 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:31,590 - Look, we-we worked on this, OK? The... - There's the policeman! Act normal. Kiss me. 543 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,396 No, me. 544 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,829 (Joanna ) No... 545 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,518 No. I... 546 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,596 Wait, wait, wait. 547 00:37:46,720 --> 00:37:50,076 - Why don't we just go to a motel? - Oh! 548 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,760 - Good idea. Lie low. - Come on. 549 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,997 - Lie low. - He meant for us to all have sex together. 550 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:57,599 Good kisser. 551 00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:00,359 Are you saying sex with... with Boyce? 552 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,436 (Sue screams ) 553 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,556 (howls ) 554 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,635 There's a train coming! There's a train! A train's coming! 555 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:23,390 Yeah, yeah, of course there is, Martin. This is platform 21. And I've said no. 556 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,397 What? No. This... 557 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:30,389 - Look! There's a train coming, I promise. - (whistle blows ) 558 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:33,834 - Look. - (Caroline gasps ) 559 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,110 Look. 560 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,309 Oh, wow. 561 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,113 - Oh, wow. - Look, a map. 562 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:49,232 ' Meet me at the station at 6:43. Wear something special.' 563 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:53,399 - Christ, I'd better go! - Martin, I think it's for me. 564 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,954 - Are you sure? - Quite sure. 565 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,548 God. I knew it was too good to be true. 566 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,313 - Hula Hoop. - A Hula Hoop? 567 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,079 Is that good? 568 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:09,079 I think it might turn out to be a very special weekend, Martin. 569 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:13,034 Yeah, a weekend with lots of snacks, probably. 570 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:17,198 Special, Martin. 571 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,598 A visit to the Hula Hoop factory! Cool! 572 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:23,835 Yes! 573 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,916 Who is it? 574 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:39,478 From the day we arrive on the planet 575 00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:45,518 And blinking, step into the sun 576 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,196 - Which car? - Doesn't matter. 577 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,720 There's more to be seen 578 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,559 Than can ever be seen 579 00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:03,470 More to do than can ever be done 580 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,232 - Get out of the car. Come on, out. - Why? 581 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,150 Why should they? I haven't got a gun. 582 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,238 Some say, ' Eat or be eaten' 583 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:21,077 Some say, ' Live or let live' 584 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,472 I'm a doc... nurse, and you are... 585 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,637 - I've got to get to the hospital. - We're at the hospital. 586 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,558 - Don't get clever with me, punk. - Oh, brilliant. 587 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,910 - Get out of the van. - It's a mobile home. 588 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,794 Right, get out of the mobile home, then. And you, missus, with your... 589 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,638 - Come on, get 'em out. - Get out. 590 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,955 But all are agreed 591 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,469 As they join the stampede 592 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,352 - Erm... - Stay there. 593 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:50,038 You should never take more than you give 594 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:53,799 That's my... 595 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,551 In the circle 596 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,870 The circle of life 597 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,393 (meows ) 598 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,200 - Come on. - (horn ) 599 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,276 Come on! 600 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,431 No, I think we've lost them. Do you think we've lost them? 601 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,836 - Well, they were on foot. - They were upset about losing their van. 602 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,157 They were more upset that you called it a van. You can slow down. 603 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,319 No! No. What if they... if they jump into a taxi and say, ' Follow that van' ? 604 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,670 - They wouldn't say ' van' . - They can eat dust. 605 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:52,999 I've got this baby between my legs, I've got my foot on the floor, I'll burn some rubbers. 606 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,394 Go on! 607 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,351 Shut up. 608 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:08,676 Dr Macartney, what a surprise! Although it isn't, cos I followed you. 609 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,439 How are the people of Insania without their queen? 610 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,599 I left them Post-it notes with instructions. Would you like to look in my papoose? 611 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,837 As I warned you, that is sexual harassment. Can you excuse me? 612 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,954 Yeah, all right. Have a look at it later. There's a gift for you... Daddy. 613 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,548 (growling) 614 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,830 Did you just growl? 615 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,551 Might have done. 616 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,796 Could have done. Maybe I did. 617 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,436 - OK, decaf, no sugar. - Me. 618 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,391 OK. Erm... 619 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,988 Herbal, that's Harriet's. 620 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,112 Er, black, no sugar? 621 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:49,437 And that one's three sugars. That's mine. 622 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,471 So who's this? 623 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,955 Who has tea, milk, no sugar? 624 00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,916 Oh, well. 625 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,316 - Fucking cigarettes! - Well, it's better than smoking 'em. 626 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,396 Yes, very good. 627 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,799 You've been in the business for a while. What is the worst thing about this job? 628 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,674 The worst thing is probably the white coats cos they make me look quite pale. 629 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,713 - Seriously. - Seriously, er, bureaucracy. 630 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,673 - No. - No? Er, lack of adequate funding. 631 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,429 No, I'm thinking of something more specific, more patient-orientated. 632 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,835 Got you. Smelly patients. 633 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:35,949 (sighs ) 634 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,356 Not exactly. Suppose you were conducting some routine tests 635 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:43,393 and you stumbled across something significant, something serious? 636 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,080 - Mm-hm. - Something like this. 637 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,956 Er, hm. 638 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,992 Nasty. I would say that is game over. 639 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,315 - Yeah? - Yes. 640 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,715 That's definitely game over. 641 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,717 Yes. 642 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:05,233 Still, you've got to face facts, haven't you? You've got to be honest. 643 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:10,354 Yes. Well, you've got to actually go and tell the patient that he's gonna die, which is... 644 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,675 I hate that. I hate it. 645 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:16,917 Quite. So. 646 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,190 Bearing that in mind... 647 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,392 Imagine how I must be feeling right this minute. 648 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,873 Yes. 649 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,560 Yeah, it's very difficult. 650 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,831 I don't actually quite follow what you... 651 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,713 Whose results are these, anyway? 652 00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,396 Fuck. 653 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,516 Fuck. 654 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,956 And fuck. 655 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:19,557 I forget I have a first name sometimes. People always... Well, they call me Mac. 656 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,433 I'm so very, very sorry. 657 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,236 Are you OK? 658 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,236 OK. 659 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,594 - May I? - Of course. 660 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,233 We've explored all the options. 661 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,355 If you need any support... 662 00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:56,550 Are you OK? 663 00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:58,636 Yeah. Thank you. 664 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,156 What's in the box? 665 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:11,035 Oh. 666 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,071 That's nice. 667 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,990 - They'll look for this vehicle. - No. There are thousands like this. 668 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,032 Not being driven by a nurse with a moustache. 669 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:25,391 - Nobody knows where we are. - Least of all you. 670 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,512 Come on. Let's not succumb to feeble-minded panic. 671 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,915 Are we nearly there yet? 672 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,037 What the fuck are you doing here? 673 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,754 - I stowed away. I saw you take the van. - Mobile home. 674 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,677 - Get rid of him! - I was worried. 675 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,395 - You kept quiet about it. - I nodded off. Those beds are really comfy. 676 00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,876 - People will think we kidnapped him. - What do you suggest we do? 677 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,390 - I don't know. We'll have to kill him. - Oh, typical. 678 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,830 Oh, right. The penalty for murder's much less than for kidnapping. 679 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,555 - Yes, well, we've already killed one pixie. - What? 680 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,557 - Nice work. - He tricked me. 681 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,557 - He didn't. - Yes. He said ' typical' . 682 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,148 He tricked me. That's a trick word. 683 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:08,149 - For Christ's sake, get a grip! - Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks. 684 00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:13,035 Rain, spout till you have drenched our steeples and drowned our cocks! 685 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,720 - Give me the wheel. - I'm in charge of the vehicle! 686 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,956 - Liar. - I'm driving... 687 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:26,159 Oh, my fucksy, there's a field in the road! Get off me! 688 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,635 (Joanna ) Give me the wheel! 689 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:31,278 (Martin ) A sheep! 690 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,716 ( ''Tired of Waiting'' by The Kinks ) 691 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:43,637 So tired 692 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,591 Tired of waiting 693 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:50,669 Tired of waiting for you 694 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,556 So tired 695 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,477 Tired of waiting 696 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,559 Tired of waiting for you 697 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:14,196 (screaming) 698 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:19,918 God. 699 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,996 (groans ) 700 00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,157 - This is just weird. - What? 701 00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,236 D�j� vu. 702 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,559 - We're going to have to sit here and wait. - For what? 703 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,830 - Cliff rescue. - Who? Oh. 704 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,476 Caroline! 705 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,556 Mac. 706 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,838 You? I thought it was Mac. 707 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,474 No, it's... No, it's definitely me. 708 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:30,869 I wanted to see what I could have had if I'd been a bit more... ginger. 709 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,275 Sad, isn't it? 710 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,356 - A bit, yeah. - Yeah. 711 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,555 Where's Mac? 712 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,911 Well, he's let me down again, hasn't he? 713 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,189 Life's just a game. Bastard. 714 00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,471 Well, no, I'm sure he had his reasons. 715 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,234 He's actually not a bastard. 716 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,397 He's, um... he's a really good bloke. 717 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,432 - Yes. - What? 718 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,109 Yes. Yes to what you asked me earlier. 719 00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,316 Really? 720 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:15,752 You had a little snog and some touching with another girl when you were at school? 721 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,519 No, no, no. Yes to the getting married thing. 722 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,790 Oh. Oh. 723 00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:24,993 - It's hardly prepubescent lesbian fumbling. - No. Sorry. 724 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,759 That's OK. 725 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,836 Are you sure? 726 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,477 Yeah. 727 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:37,798 I mean, I shared a bed with Marianne Selby when we were 15 and she rolled over and... 728 00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,310 No, I rolled over and touched her boob, but she was in a pair of pyjamas 729 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:45,718 - so I don't think it really counts. - No, I meant about the marriage thing. 730 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,353 Oh, oh. Erm... 731 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:54,158 Yes, I'm sure. There's always been something between us. I think we both know that. 732 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,236 Oh, my God. 733 00:50:57,720 --> 00:51:00,314 Oh, my God. 734 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,510 Did you ever tell Mac? 735 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:07,270 No. It's very easy to lie when you know that you're trusted implicitly. 736 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,516 So very easy and so very degrading. 737 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,438 - No, I meant about the lesbian thing. - Oh. No. 738 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,830 I love you, Dr Todd. 739 00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,197 - What? What? - Sorry. Sorry. 740 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,880 It's just I normally do the lunging, so... 741 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,956 Oh. 742 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:28,554 Oh. Oh, sorry. 743 00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,671 - See what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. 744 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:34,349 - We... Why don't we...? - You go and I'll... 745 00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,271 (Statham ) A is for anus. 746 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,356 - B is for bum hole. - Oh, is he off again? 747 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,755 - C is for cunt. - Oh! 748 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,155 (Statham ) D is for dogs' dicks. 749 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,714 E is for ejaculation. 750 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,308 F is for fuck. 751 00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,635 G is for gonads. 752 00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,716 H is for... 753 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,435 - (whistle) - Er, yeah. 754 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,472 - Oh, quick, quick, quick. - OK. I hope they've got a buffet. 755 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,556 I'm starving. 56726

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.