All language subtitles for Wonka-2023-English-Subtitles-STAGATV-COM

[melodic whistling]

[Willy singing]
♪ After seven years
Of life upon the ocean ♪

♪ It is time to bid
The seven seas farewell ♪

♪ And the city I've pinned
Seven years of hopes on ♪

♪ Lies just over the horizon

-♪ I can hear the harbor bell
-[bell dinging]

Land ahoy!

[ship horn blowing]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Got a tattered overcoat
And battered suitcase ♪

Au revoir, Chef.

♪ Got a pair of leaky boots
Upon my ♪

-♪ Feet
-Sorry, Cook!

♪ Gotta drag myself up

♪ By my one good bootlace

♪ Gotta work
My rotten socks off ♪

♪ If I want to make ends meet

♪ I've poured everything
I've got into my chocolate ♪

♪ Now it's time
To show the world my recipes ♪

Good luck, Willy!

♪ I've got
12 silver sovereigns ♪

♪ In my pocket

Goodbye, Cook!

♪ And a hatful of dreams

[upbeat music continues]

♪ There's a famous restaurant
On every street here♪

♪ There's Brandino's
And the bar Parisienne♪

-Restaurant map, sir?
-Thank you.

♪ Got a little map to tell me
Where to eat here♪

♪ Had a dozen
Silver sovereigns ♪

♪ Now I'm somehow down to ten ♪

♪ Want the finest produce?♪

-♪ This is where
They stock it ♪
-[tram bell dinging]

That's three sovereigns, mate.

♪ Though the prices
Are suspiciously extreme♪

Break my pumpkin,
you pay for it.

♪ I've got...♪

-Five, six, seven...
-[brushing]

[Willy sighs, tuts]

♪ Six silver sovereigns
In my pocket♪

♪ And a hatful of dreams♪

[boy] Brush your coat, sir?
[Willy] No, thank you.

[boy] Cologne?
[Willy] No. Leave me alone.

♪ At last♪

♪ The Galeries Gourmet♪

♪ I knew that
We'd see it one day ♪

It's everything you said,
Mamma.

♪ And oh, so much more♪

♪ Each way that you turn,
Another famous
Chocolate store♪

♪ Here's my destiny♪

♪ I just need to unlock it♪

♪ Will I crash and burn♪

♪ Or go up like a rocket?♪

♪ I got nothing to offer♪

-♪ But my chocolate ♪
-[bell dings]

♪ And a hatful♪

♪ Of dreams♪

Yeah!

[upbeat music continues]

[music tempo softens]

[officer] No daydreaming.

♪ In this city,
Anyone can be successful♪

♪ If they've talent
And work hard, or so they say ♪

♪ But they didn't mention
It would be so stressful♪

♪ Just to make
A dozen silver sovereigns♪

♪ Last more than a day♪

[baby crying]

Could you spare a sovereign
for a place to sleep, love?

Of course.

Here. Take all you need.

Thank you.

♪ I've got one silver sovereign
In my pocket ♪

[sighs]

♪ And a hatful of dreams♪

-[melodic whistling]
-[music fading out]

[whistling fades out]

[blowing]

Hmm.

There we go.

Time for a little nightcap.

Mm.

[dog growling]

Okay.

Hello there. No, stop.
Hey, shoo.

Go away, stop!

Go away, shoo! Shoo!

-[man] Stop!
-[dog stops growling]

-Sit.
-[dog whines]

Sorry about Tiddles.

Seems to have
an unusual interest

in your legs. [chuckles]

Must be these pants.

I got them
from a mailman in Minsk.

[chuckles] That would be it.

Tiddles would spend all day

pursuing postal workers
if he could.

-Wouldn't you, boy?
-[dog barks]

[man chuckles]

You're not planning on
sleeping there, are you, son?

Oh, it's just for a night.

By this time tomorrow,
I plan to have
made my fortune.

By this time tomorrow,
you'll be frozen solid.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Ooh.

Perhaps it is a little cold
for camping.

But unfortunately,
I'm not in a position
to pay for a room, sir.

-Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
-Mmm.

But as luck would have it,

I know someone who might
be able to help you out.

Really?

-[Tiddles barks]
-Here we are, Mr. Wonka.

Home sweet home.

[Tiddles barking]

[woman] Get your filthy paws
off my front door,

-you mangy mutt.
-[man chuckles]

-[Tiddles whining]
-[woman] If that's you,
Bleacher,

you'd better have my gin.

Oh, I have something better
than gin, Mrs. Scrubitt.

A guest.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Hmm.

Oh! Well, why didn't
you say? [snorts]

-[door unlocks]
-Come on in, sir.

Welcome to Scrubitt
and Bleacher's
Guest House and Laundry.

Make yourself at home,
warm your cockles by the fire.

-Gin?
-[man] Oh.

Noodle!

[Noodle] Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt?

Put that book down
and get our guest
a glass o' gin.

Poor man's frozen
half to death.

Thank you, Mrs. Scrubitt.

You and your husband
have been so kind to me.

Husband?

Him? [laughs]

[chuckles] Husband.

Oh, you'd love that,
wouldn't ya?

-No.
-Oh, I'm holding out
for someone

far superior
to that idle peasant.

-[Bleacher groans softly]
-Chin-chin.

[coughs] That is
extremely strong stuff.

Yeah, you can
run cars on that.

So, what is it I can do
for you? Room, is it?

Well, yes, but, uh...

Mr. Wonka is temporarily
embarrassed.

[gasps] Oh, no. You don't say.

[Willy] I'm afraid that's true,
Mrs. Scrubitt.

But...

-all that's about to change.
-Oh, yeah?

You see,
I'm something of a magician,

inventor and chocolate maker.

And first thing tomorrow
at the Galeries Gourmet,

I plan to unveil
my most astonishing
creation yet.

-Oh?
-Prepare to be amazed

as I present to you...

A teapot?

No, that's just
for making tea.

-[sighs]
-One second.

-That's for my stew.
-[laughs]

It's in here somewhere.
[chuckles]

Don't you worry, Mr. Wonka.
I can see you're a man
of great ingenuity.

And we've got
just the thing for ya.

The entrepreneurial package.

Now, the room
is one sovereign a night,

but you don't have to pay
till 6:00 tomorrow.

Does that give you enough time
to earn a few pennies?

More than enough,
Mrs. Scrubitt.

Thank you.

Oh, it's the least I can do
for a stranger in need.

Now, sign here
and we're all done.

-[chuckles politely]
-All righty.

[whispers]
Read the small print.

What?

-Thank you, Noodle.
That'll do.
-[gasps]

Ooh. What'd she say?

-Who's that, then?
-The girl.

-What girl?
-That girl.
It sounded like,

"Read the small print."
And there does seem
to be a lot of...

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Just keeps on coming.

Yeah, you don't wanna listen
to Noodle, Mr. Wonka.

-She's damaged.
-Damaged?

Orphan Syndrome.

Orphan Syndrome?

Orphan Syndrome.

Orphan Syndrome.

She was dropped down
the laundry chute as a bab,
and I took her in

out the goodness
of my heart,

and I've done my best,
Mr. Wonka, honest, I have,

but she's been left
with a suspicious nature.

She sees conspiracy
everywhere.

-Poor girl.
-I know.

These are just
your standard Ts and Cs,

but you're welcome
to take a look if you want.
[chuckles]

I'll just give it a once-over.

[chuckles dryly]

[Willy reading softly]

Well, that all seems
to be in order.

-Really?
-Uh-huh.

-Hello. [chuckles]
-Ah! [chuckles]

Then welcome to Scrubitt's.

[dings]

There you are, Mr. Wonka.
The entrepreneurial suite.

There's your four-poster,
and your sink plus soap,

and there's a little mint
on your pillow.

[Willy] Fantastic.

What kind people.

[growls quietly]

[sing-songing] Noodle!

Oh, Noodle!

[Noodle] Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt?

[Mrs. Scrubitt, in normal tone]
I've been lookin' for you.

[Noodle] What do you want?

I wanna teach you a lesson,
you miserable little bookworm.

What did I do wrong?

You know what you did,
you brat.

-Stop squirming!
-What? No, please.

[Noodle shrieks]

[Mrs. Scrubitt] You ever
interfere in my business again,

and you'll be
in this coop all week.
Do you understand?

Yes, Mrs. Scrubitt.
Sorry, Mrs. Scrubitt.

-I should think so, too.
-[door slams shut]

[wind whistling]

[dog barks in distance]

[Willy] Here we go, Mamma.

[loudly] Ladies and gentlemen
of the Galeries Gourmet,

my name is Willy Wonka,

and I have come to show you
a marvelous morsel,

an incredible edible,

[dramatically]
an unbeatable eatable,

the likes of which
this world has never seen.

So quiet up and listen down.

No, scratch that, reverse it.

I give to you

the Hoverchoc.

-[crowd gasping]
-[plays flute]

♪ In a♪

-♪ Jungle near Mumbai
-[crowd gasps]

-[fancy music playing]
-♪ There's a little hoverfly

♪ Whose wings go
At a thousand flaps a sec♪

♪ And that's no lie♪

♪ These microscopic fleas♪

♪ Like chocolate
More than leaves♪

♪ And when asked nicely,
Lay precisely♪

♪ One little egg
In each of these♪

[crowd gasps]

♪ When it hatches
From its shell ♪

♪ It gives a happy yell
Whoo-hoo!♪

♪ How thrilling to be living
In a chocolate hotel♪

♪ It beats its wings with glee
And then, as you will see♪

♪ The chocolate will levitate♪

-♪ And float most gracefully
-[crowd gasping, laughing]

-[gasps]
-♪ Well, there's chocolate

♪ And there's chocolate♪

♪ But only Wonka's
Makes your eyes♪

♪ Pop out their socke-lets♪

♪ Put your hand
Into your pocke-let♪

♪ Get yourself
Some Wonka chocolate♪

♪ Come now
I insist♪

♪ You've never
Had chocolate like this♪

♪ No, you've never
Had chocolate like this♪

-[music ends]
-[applause]

[man] Bravo!

-[crowd laughs in delight]
-[man 2] Bravo!

[Willy] Thank you.

-Miss Bon-Bon?
-Yes, Mr. Slugworth.

Call the police.

[Miss Bon-Bon] Very good, sir.

[chuckles]
Well, who wants to try one?

-[man] Me, please!
-[Slugworth] I will.

[crowd gasps, murmurs]

-Mr. Slugworth, sir.
-[man 2] 'Scuse me.

[Willy] Mr. Fickelgruber.

-[babbles]
-And Mr. Prodnose.

What an honor.

Ever since
I was a little boy...

-[bones crunching]
-That is quite a handshake.

It's a business handshake,
Mr. Wonka.

Lets people know
I mean business.

-Huh...
-Now, come along.

Let's try one of these
so-called Hoverchocs.

[Slugworth inhales]

[exhales]

Ooh.

It's not just chocolate,
is it?

There's...

-marshmallow.
-[Willy] That's right.

Harvested from
the mallow marshes of Peru.

[Fickelgruber] And caramel.

-But... but it's...
-[Willy] Salted.

With the bittersweet tears
of a Russian clown.

-[crowd murmurs]
-[Prodnose] And is that...

Surely not?

Cherry?

[Willy] Cherry-picked by
the pick of the cherry pickers

from the Imperial Gardens
in Japan.

-[crowd murmurs]
-Well, Mr. Wonka.

I've been in this business
a very long time,

and I can safely say

that of all the chocolate
I have ever tasted,

this is without doubt

the absolute 100% worst.

-[crowd gasping]
-Whoo!

There we have it,
ladies and gentlemen.

An endorsement from Mr...

Wait. The worst?

We three
are the fiercest of rivals,

and yet we agree on one thing.

A good chocolate
should be simple.

Plain. Uncomplicated.

Whereas this, with all
its bells and whistles...

[chuckles] Well, it's just...

Weird.

[tuts] That's a shame.

-[grunts softly]
-If you thought
the chocolate was weird,

you're gonna hate
what happens next.

-[crowd gasping]
-Hmm?

What's happening?
Whoa, what's going on?

[Willy] That's the hoverfly.
[Fickelgruber whimpering]

[Willy] It's broken
out of its cocoon.

It's flapping its wings
like billy-oh.

-[screams]
-[crowd gasping]

[Prodnose] My hair!
You mean a fly is doing this?

[Willy] Yes. But don't worry.

-It'll be completely unharmed.
-Oh, thank you.

In about 20 minutes,
it'll get tired

and exit through your rear.

You what?

He means we're going to
fart them out of our botties!

Yes, I know what he meant.

You're off your rocker, Wonka!

Who in their right mind

wants a chocolate
that makes you fly?

[Willy] Well, let's find out,
shall we?

Who's for a Hoverchoc?

-[crowd shouting excitedly]
-[man] I want one!

[Willy] One sovereign, please.
Thank you.

Thank you very much.

[Willy] One sovereign.
Thank you, madam.

-Enjoy your flight.
-[gasping]

[laughing]

[woman] Look, I'm flying!
I'm flying!

[man 1] How's the view
up there?

[man 2] Not too high, darling!

[whistle blows]

[officer] Beat it, kid.

All right, folks.
Nothin' to see here.

Just a small group of people
defyin' the laws of gravity.

-Yeah.
-Hook 'em, boys.

[Willy] That's the Hoverchoc,
sir. That's the point.

[officer 2] I'm afraid
we've had some complaints
about you, sir.

[Willy] Complaints?

That you're disrupting
the trade of other businesses.

I'm regrettably obliged
to move you on

and to confiscate

-your earnings.
-[coins rattle]

-[Willy] Hey!
What are you doing?
-[nun] No!

[officer] Don't worry,
it's going to a good cause.

-[nun] Get off.
-Sick kids, or something.

Sorry, sir. Rules is rules.

[officer 3] Cheeky devil, you!
Come here!

Could you at least
leave me a sovereign?

I need to pay for my room.

-Here.
-[coins rattling]

Thank you.

[dog barks in distance]

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
Evening, Mr. Wonka.

How'd it go?

Not quite as well
as I'd hoped.

Oh, shame. Well, I'm afraid
we do have to settle up now.

Well, thankfully,
the room's taken care of.

Believe we said a sovereign.

For the room, yes.

But you have incurred
a few extras

during the course of your
residency with ourselves.

-Have I?
-Yes, you have.

There was that glass of gin
you had on arrival,

and if I remember rightly,

you warmed your cockles
by the fire.

He did indeed, Mrs. Scrubitt.

-[door shuts, locks]
-Cockle-warming is extra, see?

Used the stairs
to get to his room, and all.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Oh, then
you've got your stair charge,

and that is per step,
I'm afraid. Up and down.

Now, tell me, Mr. Wonka,

did you happen
to use the mini bar?

There's a minibar?

Mini bar of soap.

By the sink.

-Uh... I might have, briefly.
-Oh-ho!

See? Even Bleacher knows
you never touch the mini bar,

and he was raised in a ditch.
[snorts]

Add in your mattress hire,

your linen lease,
and your pillow penalty,

-and you are looking at...
-[door shuts]

Ten thousand sovereigns.

You gotta be kidding me?
[scoffs]

It's all in the small print,
dearie.

I don't have
10,000 sovereigns.

[door shuts, locks]

Then we have a problem,
Mr. Wonka.

You're gonna
have to work it off

-in the Wash House, ain't ya?
-[Tiddles barking]

At a sovereign a day.

Ten thousand days is...

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
Twenty-seven years.

-Hey!
-[Bleacher] Four months.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] And 16 days.

-[Mrs. Scrubitt chuckles]
-[Willy screaming]

[grunts]

-[gasping]
-[Abacus] Ah.

-[Abacus] You must be
Mr. Wonka.
-Who are you?

Abacus Crunch,
chartered accountant.

At least, I was.

-Now, uh...
-He runs the place.

And you best do as he says,
or you'll answer to me.

Piper Benz. Plumber by trade.

[Abacus] This is
Miss Lottie Bell.

[quietly] Hi.

She don't talk much.

[dramatically]
And I'm Larry Chucklesworth!

Comedian.

[Abacus] Hmm.

So they got all of you, too,
did they?

[Abacus] I'm afraid so.

We each of us found ourselves

in need of a cheap place
to stay,

and neglected
to read the small print.

One moment of stupidity,
followed by endless regret.

Sounds like my third marriage.
[laughs]

I'm sorry, I do that a lot.

-He does.
-A lot.

[Larry] I've only
been married once,

and it didn't work out.

[Willy] There's gotta be
some way outta here.

[Piper] You don't think
we've tried?

There are bars on the window
and there's a dog on the door.

[Abacus] And even
if you could get out,

that contract is watertight.

[Piper] If you're not here
at roll call, Mrs. Scrubitt
will call the police,

they'll bring you right back,

and she'll charge you
a thousand
for the inconvenience.

-[barks]
-[yelps]

[Abacus] All right, everybody.
Back to work.

-[barks]
-Come along, Mr. Wonka.

-[barks]
-You come with me. [sighs]

You're in here. On suds.

Whoa.

♪ First, you pick up
The apparel♪

♪ And you stick it
In a barrel♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

♪ Then you take
It to the mangle
And you turn a giant handle♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

[grunting]

♪ Then it's hung up really high
Until it's nearly dry♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

[steam hissing]

♪ But when we sing this song
The day don't seem so long♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

It's still long, though.

[bell dings]

[barks]

♪ Gotta press out
All the creases♪

♪ From the dresses
And chemises ♪

♪ Rub, rub♪

♪ Gotta fold 'em
Like they told us♪

♪ Or they'll scold us♪

♪ And withhold our grub, grub♪

[blows whistle]

♪ We all signed the dotted line
So we gotta do our time♪

-♪ Scrub, scrub
-[music tempo slows]

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

And if you don't agree...

See clause five.

-Section 7A.
-Paragraph 22.

Part D.

Which says...

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

[whimsical music resumes]

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

-♪ Scrub, scrub
-[music ends]

-[water dripping]
-[floorboard creaking]

[light buzzing]

[dog barking outside]

[sighs]

-[knock at door]
-[Noodle] Room service.

Told you to read
the small print.

Slight problem with that.

You can't read, can you?

I focused my studies
almost exclusively
on chocolate.

I see.

For everything else,
I've relied on the kindness
of strangers.

[scoffs] And look
where that's got you.
The staff quarters.

You've got a bed.

[shouts]

You had a bed.

Desk, and a wash basin/toilet.

-Ugh.
-The water comes

-in two temperatures. Cold...
-[faucet squeaks]

...and colder.

How much do you owe them?

Ten thousand.

Count yourself lucky.
I owe 30.

What? How do you
owe them money?

I thought they found you
down a laundry chute.

Oh, they did.

Took me in out of the goodness
of their hearts

and charged me
for the privilege.

What a pair of monsters.

The greedy beat the needy
every time, Mr. Wonka.

Guess it's just
the way of the world.

[Willy] Oh, come on, Noodle.

That's just your
Orphan Syndrome talking.

-My what?
-Your Orphan Syndrome.

And we are not gonna
be eating any slops.

What are you doing?

I'm making chocolate,
o' course.

How do you like it? Dark?

White? Nutty?
Absolutely insane?

I don't know.

I've never had any.

[gibbers]
You've never had chocolate?

-No.
-[shouts] What?

You've never had chocolate?

Still no.

Well, this is unbelievable.
I mean, this is outrageous.

Well, lucky for you, Noodle,
I have a selection

of the world's
finest ingredients

right here
in my travel factory.

[gentle music playing]

Whoa.

Where to begin?
That's the question.

I know!

Silver Linings.

Made of condensed
thunder clouds

and liquid sunlight.

[sniffs] Helps you see
that faint ray o' hope

beyond the shadow of despair.

Just what we need,

-wouldn't you say?
-[chuckles softly]

Did you always
wanna make chocolate?

[Willy] No. [chuckles]

Back when I was your age,

I wanted to be a magician.

My mom was a cook.

We lived on the river,
just the two of us.

In a perfect little
world of our own.

The way I remember it,
I used to spend

every waking hour
trying to come up

with some new trick
to impress my mom.

Bravo!

[Willy] But the real magic
came from her.

We didn't have a lotta money,
but each week,

she brought home
one cocoa bean.

And by the time my birthday
came around,

there was enough to make
a single bar o' chocolate.

But it wasn't
just any old chocolate.

Far from it.

This has to be
the best chocolate
in the world.

[Mamma] Oh,
don't know about that.

They say the very best
comes from a place

called the Galeries Gourmet.

Theirs can't be any better
than yours, Mamma.

It's impossible.

Well, as it so happens,

I do know a little secret

that even
those fancy-pants don't.

What is it?

I'll tell ya.

When you're older.
Now get to sleep. [chuckles]

[exhales]

We should go, Amma.

Where's that, then?

-To the Galeries Gourmet.
-What?

-And start a shop?
-Yeah.

With our name above the door
and everything.

That's a wonderful dream,
honey.

Is that all it is?

Just a dream?

Hey now.

Every good thing in this world
started with a dream.

So you hold on to yours.

And when you do share
chocolate with the world,

oh, I'll be right there
beside ya.

Promise?

Do better than that.

[chuckles] I pinkie promise.

Now,

sleep.

[Noodle]
So, what was it, Willy?

What was the secret?

[Willy] I never found out.

Soon after, she fell sick.

And before I knew it,
all I had left
was her bar of chocolate.

That's why I'm here, Noodle.

So I can feel the same way
I did back then,

eating chocolate with her.

What do you mean?

My mom once promised
that when I share chocolate
with the world,

she'd be right there
beside me.

[machine clicking]

I know it sounds crazy,
but I always hoped

she'd somehow
keep that promise.

She might even
tell me her secret.

[bell dings]

[both chuckle]

Here. Try one.

Wish you hadn't done that.

-You don't like it?
-No,

I like it. It's just...

What?

Now each day
I don't have chocolate
will be a little harder.

Then how would you like
to have all the chocolate
you can eat, every day,

for the rest of your life?

A lifetime supply?

A lifetime supply.

What would I have to do?

Not much.
Just get me out of here.

-[gasps] Are you crazy?
-Shh!

It's easy. I'll get someone
to cover my shift,

and you could smuggle me out
in your laundry cart.

-But I...
-Just for a few hours, mind.

No one will even know
I was gone.

What's the point of that?

To sell chocolate, o' course!
We'll split the profits

and pay off Mrs. Scrubitt
in no time.

It's a nice idea, Willy.

-It's a great idea.
-But it'll never work.

'Course it will.
Eat your chocolate.

[Noodle] You don't understand.

Mrs. Scrubitt's like a hawk.
She keeps her beady eye
on everything

that comes in and out
of the Wash House except...

Huh.

What is it?

No, it's nothing.

Oh, okay.

Huh.

Double-huh!
That's not nothing.

That's the Silver Lining.
It's given you an idea.

Okay. So, the one time
she dropped her guard

was when this aristocrat
came to the laundry.

He was only
asking for directions,

but she was all over him
like a rash.

It was disgusting.

That's it, Noodle.

All we have to do
is find an aristocrat

and slip out
while she's distracted.

Yeah, but...

where are we going
to find an aristocrat?

[ding]

Huh.

Huh?

Huh.

A double-huh.

Do you have
a pencil and paper?

-Uh-huh.
-I got an idea.

[distant singing]

[soft music playing]

-[male choir singing]
-[knocks along to song]

[lock clicks]

I've come
to make a confession.

[singing continues]

You sound great, fellas.
Keep it up.

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.

I have had 150 of these
since my last confession.

Temptation is very hard
to resist.

Mmm.

[chief] Send me down.

-[whirring]
-I'll see you later.

[elevator dings]

[woman] Good evening, Chief.

They're all waiting.

Thank you very much.

Good evening, gentlemen.
I've brought my invoice.

One chocolatier moved on
for the usual fee.

Oh. [chuckles]

Here we go, baby.

There's the good stuff. Yeah.

[Slugworth] Tell me, Chief...
[chief] Mm-hmm?

...how would you like
to earn a few more of those?

Oh, I am listening.

[Slugworth] We think
that Mr. Wonka

might require a little more
than simply moving on.

-Oh.
-[Slugworth] He's good.

Too good.

And what's more,

he only charges
a sovereign a chocolate.

So anyone can afford them,
even the...

You know, the...

-The poor?
-[gags] Oh, dear.

I've just been
a little bit sick in my mouth.

Could you please refrain
from mentioning

that demographic
in my presence?

He doesn't like it
when people say "poor."

-[gags]
-[Prodnose] Sorry, Felix.

We want you to send
Wonka a message.

Backed up by physical force.

That if he attempts to sell
chocolate in this town again,

he is liable to meet
with a little accident.

In which he dies.

Yeah, no, I...
I got that already.

You don't have
to keep saying it.

I'm just making sure
we're all on the same page.

Well, no one's on your page.

What's that supposed to mean?
Well, I know what it means...

Actually, what does it mean?

[Slugworth] Gentlemen, please.

So, what do you say, Chief?

Do we have a deal?

Well, listen, fellas,
I'm an officer of the law.

I can't just go around
roughin' up your competition.

I'm sorry.

Well now, Chief.

-[jazzy dance music playing]
-[taps along to music]

I can see that
you're a man of integrity.

[shakes along to music]

Thank you.

But ask yourself this...

♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪

♪ I do♪

♪ A hunger
That you have to feed? ♪

♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪

♪ I do♪

♪ Well, we've got
Everything you need ♪

[chief] Mmm.

♪ Don't give me
That conscience nonsense ♪

♪ It's simply♪

♪ Quid pro quo♪

♪ So, a hundred
Of your favorites♪

♪ Sorry, I'm afraid it's no♪

Promised the wife
I'd cut down on chocolate.

You know, I gotta get in shape
for the Policeman's Ball,
so... [chuckles]

♪ But think about
Your sweet tooth♪

♪ I do♪

♪ I've had it since
I was a boy♪

♪ Your naughty
Little sweet tooth ♪

♪ It's true♪

♪ The only thing
That brings you joy♪

♪ Don't look
At your waistline♪

-♪ It's fine!
-♪ Come on!

♪ Who needs
To see their toes?♪

♪ So♪

♪ Seven hundred boxes♪

[chief whistles]

♪ That's a lot
Of chocolates... ♪

[Slugworth] ♪ Mm-hmm

No!

[jazzy music continues]

Gentlemen,
let's give it the big sell.

[chief grunts]

[music building]

♪ Have you got a sweet tooth?♪

-♪ Me, too
-♪ Fellas...

♪ Have you got
The hots for chocs?♪

I do, really. Yeah.

♪ Do you think that candy's♪

-♪ Dandy?
-♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Well, we've got lots and lots
And lots and lots♪

-♪ And lots and lots
-♪ Why am I singing?

♪ If the wife's complaining♪

♪ Body-shaming♪

♪ It's amazing
What a tailor can conceal♪

♪ Keep your wretched
Chocolates♪

♪ Eighteen-hundred boxes?♪

-♪ Oh, deal
-[music ends]

-[bones crunch]
-[chief groans]

[blows whistle]

[sniffs]

-Bell.
-[barks]

-[Lottie, softly] Here.
-Benz.

-[Tiddles barks]
-[Piper] Mm.

-Chucklesworth.
-[Tiddles barks]

-[groans]
-Crunch.

-Here.
-[Bleacher] Wonka.

-[Tiddles growls]
-[Mrs. Scrubitt] Bleacher!

-Toilet's blocked again.
-[groans]

Oh, wow.

The unmistakable
sound of love.

You what?

Don't tell me
you hadn't noticed.

What?

She's madly in love with you.

Mrs. Scrubitt?

[Willy] Besotted.

And why not? Look at you.

Fine figure of a man.

You just need to tidy
yourself up a little bit.

Get some new clothes.

Have a bath.

A bath?

You do know
what they say, right?

What do they say?

She'll be thankful
for an ankle.

-Yes.
-And pleased to see your knees.

-Right.
-But if you wanna

-make her sigh...
-Tell me.

Show her some thigh.

[chuckling]

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Bleacher!

-It's overflowing now.
-[water flowing]

-Get in there. Back to work.
-All right.

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
It's up to me ankles!

-[Tiddles barks]
-Time-waster.

-[door closes]
-Bleacher!

Curse that idle peasant.

-What you got there?
-[gasps]

Nothing.

Do you like that coop, Noodle?

All right.

I was collecting laundry
from Professor Monocle
the other day.

Yeah.

He's writing a book about
the Bavarian Royal Family.

Boring.

He's got sketches of noblemen
all over his wall.

So?

This one
looked rather familiar.

Oh.

Blow me.
That looks exactly like...

Mr. Bleacher.

Are you telling me Bleacher
is a Bavarian aristocrat?

-Uh-huh.
-[scoffs]

Go and get my gin.

♪ First,
You pick up the apparel♪

♪ Then you stick it
In a barrel♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

♪ Then you put it
Through the mangle♪

[straining] ♪ Making sure
You don't get strangled♪

-♪ Scrub, scrub ♪
-[yelps]

Whoa!

♪ Oh, Tiddles,
Here's your chance♪

-[woofs]
-♪ To chew my mailman pants!

[barks rhythmically]

[panting]

♪ Something must be going on♪

♪ 'Cause we never
Change our song♪

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

Oh, so you finally managed
to drag your lazy...

[romantic music plays]

Have you done something
with your hair?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

[leather squeaking]

Where'd you get
them dungarees?

-[door opens]
-[Bleacher] Lost property.

Why,

do they suit me?

-[leather squeaking]
-Yeah.

Not bad, I suppose.

What're you doing
all the way over there?

-[fire crackling]
-Keeping my knees warm.

Well, why don't you
come over here

and have a glass o' gin?

Why don't you come over here,

where it's all hot?

[screams] Whoa!

-[exclaims] Oh! Oh, my Lord.
-[both chuckle]

[whimsical music resumes]

[Willy] Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present to you

a brand-new contraption
of my creation,

an innovation
in laundrification.

♪ Scrub, scrub

Let me ask you a question,
how does Tiddles
wanna spend all his time?

-Chasing after mailmen.
-[Tiddles barks]

And what do I have
to do all day,
fellow scrubbers, please?

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

But now, with Willy Wonka's
Wild and Wonderful
Wishy-washy Wonka Walker,

please don't make me
say that again,

Tiddles gets to run
and I can have fun.

♪ Scrub, scrub♪

Just popping out for a bit.

I'll be back before roll call.

Until then,
Tiddles has agreed to...

-♪ Scrub, scrub
-[whimsical music continues]

So, tell me all about Bavaria.

-Where?
-Where you're from.

-Oh, yes. It's very...
-[bell dings]

-...Bavarian.
-[Mrs. Scrubitt] Oh, whoo.

[music ends]

All clear.

-Really?
-Yeah.

We did it! Well done, Noodle.

I can't believe it worked.

Wait till you see how much
chocolate I made last night.

We sell this,
and we're gonna be...

Oh, no.

What's going on, Willy?

Not again.

Where are the chocolates?

I don't know how to tell you
this, Noodle, but...

they've been stolen.

-Stolen?
-Mm-hmm.

Who by?

The Little Orange Man.

What?

The Little Orange Man.
I didn't tell you about him?

No, ya didn't.

He's my nemesis.
About yea high.

Comes in the dead
of the night,

and he steals
all my chocolate.

Been happening every few weeks
for the past three,
four years now.

Really?

Sometimes I spy him

in that strange realm
'twixt sleep and wake,

green hair glinting
in the moonlight.

Green hair?

One day I shall
catch him, Noodle.

-Willy.
-When I do...

-Willy!
-Hmm?

You don't seriously expect me
to believe this, do you?

Of course I do. What other
explanation is there?

I don't know,

-that you go to sleep...
-Mm-hmm.

...dream 'bout
Little Green Man...

Orange man, green hair. Yeah.

...and while you're dreaming,

stuff your face
with chocolate!

Stuff my...

That makes a lot more sense.

Why'd I ever think
this would work?

[Willy] I've been eating
all my own chocolate?

-Stupid Silver Linings.
-I don't think I have been.

Hey!

There's nothing stupid
about my chocolate.

[sighs] If Mrs. Scrubitt
had spotted us,

I'd be in the coop right now.

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

But we can make
more chocolate.

Only problem is
I'm all out of milk.

Well, that's not a problem.

[sighs] Milk.

A, that is stealing.

And C,

Willy Wonka does not use
any old cow's milk.

For this particular creation,

I require the milk
of a giraffe.

Okay... fine.

As a matter of fact,
there's one at the zoo.

Bingala!

But A,
the zoo is not that way.

Great.

And B,

they're not gonna let you just
walk in there and milk it.

Mm. That, my dear Noodle,
is why we're very lucky

the Little Orange Man
didn't find this.

What is it?

[Noodle] From Zoo Management.

In recognition
of your years of service.

But I've only
been here a year.

Which is why
there's only one chocolate.

Huh.

Well, thank you very much.

[Noodle] You're welcome.
Good night!

[whispers]
Hey, well done, Noodle.

So, what is it really?

It's called A Big Night Out.

A single chocolate
that perfectly mimics

-a night on the town.
-[guard] Mmm.

The outer layer,
a champagne truffle.

[guard] That's lovely.

[Willy] The next is white wine.

[guard] Mmm. [grunts]

[Willy] Followed by red.

[guard] Now we are talking!

[Willy] That's when the singing
and dancing starts.

[guard singing] ♪ We're gonna
Have a party tonight!♪

It's when he hits
the layer o' whiskey fudge
he'll get emotional.

[guard sobbing] She was
the only woman I ever loved!

He might do
something reckless.

[guard] I'll give her a call.

What harm could it do?
[clears throat]

Hello, Gwennie? It's Basil.

I just wanted to say,
I've always loved you.

I love you so much. What?

It's Basil Bond.

We sat together
in chemistry at school.

No, no, don't hang up!

Finally, some old port
from the back
of the cupboard, and...

[guard groans, snores]

[Willy] Hmm.

[smacks lips] Let's go.

Noodle, let's go.

[flamingo honks]

[Noodle] Why don't they
fly away?

[Willy] I don't know.
Perhaps they haven't
thought of it.

[Noodle] You're kidding?
[Willy] No, I'm serious.

That's the thing
about flamingos.

They need someone
to show 'em the way.

[Noodle] Huh.

[animal moans]

[Willy, softly] Giraffe.

Giraffe. Giraffe.

Ah! Giraffe.

-[growling]
-[screams]

[door bangs]

You have got to learn
how to read.

Why?

You were nearly
eaten by a tiger.

"Nearly" is the key word
there, Noodle.

I've nearly been eaten
by a lot of things,

and none of them
got more than a nibble.

[groans]

Giraffe.

Okay, I'll learn how to read.

[door creaks]

[gasps]

[Willy] Good evening,
Miss, um...

-[Noodle] Abigail.
-[Willy] Abigail.

[Abigail snorts]

[Willy] Whoa! Easy, now.

I brought acacia mints.

[sniffing]

Oh.

Giraffes are just crazy
about my acacia mints.

Love 'em more
than anything else.

Except being scratched
under the chin, you see?

[snuffling]

[Willy] You wanna
give it a go, Noodle?

[Noodle] Me?

[Willy] Yeah. Why not?

[Noodle] Okay.

[both chuckling]

-Ugh!
-[Willy] Oh!

[Willy chuckles]
Think she likes you.

Miss Abigail,

if my colleague here
gives you a good scratch,

do you think you could
possibly spare us

a pint or two of your milk?

[Noodle] So, have you done
this before?

-[Willy] Once. In Africa.
-[milk squirting]

Magnificent beast.

[Noodle] Was she wild?
[Willy] Wild?

She was absolutely furious.

You sure can be silly, Willy.

I suppose that's true-dle,
Noodle.

True-dle?

That doesn't work, does it?

Nothing rhymes with Noodle.

Where'd you get that name,
anyway?

Doesn't matter.

No, go on.

[Noodle] This.

It's all I have
of my real parents. See?

"N" for Noodle.
Or Nora, or Nina,

or nothing at all.

Can't you trace the owner?

You don't think I've tried?

When I was a kid,

I always hoped
that I'd find my parents.

And they'd live
in this beautiful old building
full of books.

My mom, she'd be waiting there
for me at the door,

and I'd run into her arms.

She'd give me this big hug
like she'd never let me go.

But then I realized
it was just a stupid dream.

[tuts]

There's nothing stupid
about that.

[Noodle] Isn't there?

[Willy] I know things haven't
been easy for you, Noodle.

But they're gonna get better.

I'm not gonna let you rot
in that Wash House forever.

You promise?

I can do better than that.

I pinkie promise.

And that's the most
solemn vow there is.

[chuckles softly]

Get scratchin'.

We don't have long
until that guard comes
to-dle, Noodle.

-To-dle!
-It's not even a word!

Oh.

I'm gonna keep working on it.

[chuckles]

-♪ For a moment ♪
-[gentle music plays]

♪ Life doesn't seem quite
So bad ♪

♪ For a moment♪

♪ I kinda forgot to be sad♪

[chuckles]

♪ He turns night to day♪

♪ But don't get carried away♪

♪ Never let down your guard♪

♪ Let them into your heart
For a moment♪

♪ Not for a moment♪

[Willy] I got it, Noodle!
Listen to this.

♪ Noodle, Noodle,
Apple strudel ♪

♪ Some people don't♪

♪ And some people doodle♪

♪ Snakes, flamingos,
Bears, and poodles ♪

♪ Singing this song
Will improve your moodle♪

-[laughing]
-♪ Noodle-dee-dee

♪ Noodle-dee-dum♪

[Noodle] Willy! [chuckles]

-♪ We're having oodles
-[laughing]

♪ And oodles of fun♪

[both] Thanks, Abigail!

-♪ For a moment
-♪ Noodle, Noodle,
Apple strudel ♪

♪ My life has turned
Upside down ♪

♪ Some people don't
And some people doodle♪

-♪ For a moment
-♪ Snakes, flamingos

-♪ Bears and poodles
-♪ I can't keep my feet

♪ On the ground♪

♪ Singing this song
Will improve your moodle♪

-♪ He's the one good thing
-♪ Noodle-dee-dee

♪ Noodle-dee-dum♪

-♪ That's ever happened to me
-♪ We're having oodles

♪ And oodles of fun♪

[instrumental interlude]

[officer] Chief,

you know that fella
you wanted a word with?

[gentle music continues]

[Noodle] ♪ For a moment♪

♪ Life doesn't seem
Quite so bad ♪

♪ And for a moment♪

-♪ I kinda forgot to be sad
-[music fades out]

-[siren ringing]
-[vehicle approaching]

[chief] Mr. Wonka!
A word in private, if I may.

Certainly, Officer.

-Be on your way, Affable.
-[officer] Are you sure, sir?

[chief] Oh, yeah.
This is between
me and Mr. Wonka.

[Willy] You better
get outta here, Noodle.

-But Willy...
-Don't worry about me.

I've talked my way out
of tighter spots than this.

I'll meet you
back at the cart.

Now, Officer,
if this is about Abigail...

I got a message for you, pal.

Whoa! No.

[muffled screaming]

Do not sell chocolate
in this town!

-[gasping]
-You got it?

Not really, I'm afraid.

Oh, so you got a mouth on you,
huh, Candy Man?

I said...

-[muffled whimpering]
-Don't sell chocolate!

[gasps]

You hear me that time?

I have water in my ears.

Oh.

Yeah, that... You've...

Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I'm all outta whack.

Truth is, I don't wanna
be doin' this.

I don't want you
to be doing this.

But I still gotta
give ya a message.

Sell chocolate
in this town again,

you're gonna get more
than a bonk on the head.

I don't have
a bonk on the head.

[gasps, sighs]

What is with me today? I...

-Can you give me
just a second?
-Sure.

[Mrs. Scrubitt
laughing flirtily]

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
Lord Bleachowitz.

Mrs. Scrubitt.
Your eyes are like
two rabbit droppings

in a couple of bowls

-of custard.
-Oh! [chuckles]

You really do have a way
with words. [laughing]

[Willy grunts]
See you downstairs.

Geronimo!

[Abacus] Ah, Mr. Wonka.

-Good of you to join us.
-[sighs]

-[pants] Not late, am I?
-[Abacus] Well, no.

Cutting it a bit fine, but...

Has Tiddles been
pulling his weight?

-[Tiddles barks]
-As a matter of fact,

Tiddles has been
a very good boy,

-and productivity is up 30%.
-[barks]

[Larry] We took
the afternoon off.

[Abacus]
But that's not the point.

This is the point.

-Not now, Larry.
-Sorry.

[Abacus] The point is...

Where have you been?

And why do you smell
of giraffe?

Guess I owe you guys
an explanation.

[Lottie] Mm.
[Willy] The truth is,

I'm a chocolate maker.

Not just any chocolate.
The best in the world.

Ah, well,
Noodle's flattering me,
but she's right.

They're exquisite.

Plan is to sell chocolate
and pay off Mrs. Scrubitt.

At least,
that was the plan, until...

Oh, let me guess.

You had a little run-in
with the Chief of Police?

How do you know that?

Because I was
Slugworth's accountant.

For a week, at least.

His regular bookkeeper
was off sick.

-Station, please.
-[Abacus] And I was called

halfway across the country
to take his place.

Good evening, Mr. Slugworth.

I just need
your signature on...

Seemed a straightforward job.

Oh.

Until I realized

there were two sets of books.

One for the authorities,

and one which told the truth.

Slugworth, Fickelgruber,
and Prodnose

have been in cahoots
for years.

A sort of chocolate cartel,
if you will.

They've been watering down
their chocolate

and storing the excess
in a secret vault

deep beneath the cathedral,

guarded round the clock
by a corrupt cleric

and 500 chocoholic monks.

The only way in is down
a secret elevator, and past

-the Mistress of the Keys.
-[elevator dings]

-A subterranean sentinel...
-[grunting]

...who hasn't seen
sunlight in years.

[mistress of the keys]
Good evening.

[Abacus] There's thousands
of gallons of chocolate

down there, and the Cartel
use it to bribe,

blackmail, and bludgeon
the competition.

-[Slugworth] I do not care that
they were school children...
-[gasps]

...they were in our way.
Next time, put your foot down.

Miss Bon-Bon?

[Miss Bon-Bon]
Good morning, Mr. Slugworth.

From now on, I'll be keeping
the ledger in the vault.

[Miss Bon-Bon] Very good, sir.

Oh, and Mr. Crunch?

Yes?

You're fired.

Very good, sir.

[Abacus] I'm sorry, Mr. Wonka,

but they've got you
right where they want you.

You can't get a shop
without selling chocolate,

and you can't sell chocolate
without a shop.

-[dog barking]
-[wind whistling]

[Willy, softly] Hey, Noodle!

Noodle! Psst!

[switch clicks]

[Noodle] What is it, Willy?

Watch out.

Whoa!

What's this for?

Your wages.
A lifetime supply, remember?

You didn't have to do that.

Of course I did.
I gave you my word.

Well, thanks.

-I've got something
for you, too.
-For me?

What's this?

-Glass half full?
-Other way up.

[Willy] Glass half empty.

It's an "A."
Your first letter.

I'm teaching you to read.

Oh, Noodle.

Well, I can't have
my business partner
eaten by a tiger.

Or nearly eaten.

So we're still partners?

Sure, but I don't know
how we're gonna
sell any chocolate.

Every time the police show up,
you'd have to vanish
into thin air.

Like a magician.

[gasps] Right!

Yeah, but it's one thing
when you're onstage.

You have ropes and pulleys
and trapdoors.

There's none of those
on the street.

[Piper] As a matter of fact,
there are.

There are trapdoors
all over the city.

They're called storm drains.

I'd be happy
to show you around

if you cut me in
on the action.

-[switch clicks]
-[Larry] If you're recruiting,

I'd do anything
to get out of here

and make up with my wife.

I don't have
any practical skills, but,

[gurgling] I can talk
like I'm under water.

And if you need someone
to handle communications,

I'm your woman.

[Willy] Lottie?

What? Why you all
staring at me?

I did not know
she could speak.

-I thought you were a mime.
-[Lottie] No,

I actually used to work
at the telephone exchange.

But back then,
I was quite the chatterbox.
[chuckles]

But since I came here,

I haven't had much
to chat about.

-[switch clicks]
-[Abacus] Far be it from me

to pour cold water
on all your fun,

but if Mrs. Scrubitt
catches you trying to escape,

you'll all get six months
in the coop.

So just think about that

before getting involved
in this harebrained scheme.

But it's not harebrained,
Abacus.

Willy's chocolates
are incredible.

Try one.

[Abacus] That's very kind
of you, Noodle.

I don't care how good
his chocolates are.

When do we start?

[bell dinging melodically]

[Colin] I guess what I'm trying
to say, Barbara, is, um,

-will you marry me?
-[Barbara] Oh. [sighs]

I dunno, Colin.

You're a lovely man,
but I'm looking for someone

to sweep me off my feet.
You know,

whisk me off
to a life of adventure.

Could that be you?

-No.
-Oh.

Not with my chronic
lack of self-confidence.

-Uh, I best be off.
-Oh, but Colin...

Sorry to have
wasted your time, Barbara.

Uh, taxi!

[sighs heavily]

[waiter] Uh, monsieur,
can I help you?

Oh, waiter.

Do you have anything
for a broken heart?

♪ So the taxis never stop♪

♪ The girls think
You're a flop ♪

♪ You're wet and cold,
You're getting old♪

♪ Your confidence is shot♪

It's true.

♪ When people look at you♪

♪ They seem to look
Straight through♪

♪ Or like you're something
Brown they found♪

♪ Upon the bottom
Of their shoe ♪

Have you been following me?

♪ But this should lift
The gloom
My Giraffe Milk Macaroon♪

♪ Just take a chance
And you'll be dancing♪

♪ To a different tune♪

♪ Goodbye to feeling small
And frightened of it all♪

♪ Just eat a few of these♪

♪ And you'll be feeling
ten feet tall♪

[music pauses]

♪ Well, there's♪

-♪ Chocolate
-[cheerful music plays]

♪ And there's chocolate♪

♪ Only Wonka's makes
Your confidence skyrocke-let ♪

He doesn't even work here.

♪ Put your hand♪

-♪ Into your pocke-let
-[excited chatter]

♪ Get yourself
Some Wonka chocolate♪

♪ Madam, just one kiss♪

♪ Yes, please!♪

-♪ You've never had chocolate
-[wolf-whistles]

-♪ Like this
-[whistle blowing]

[crowd] ♪ No, we've never
Had chocolate like this♪

[cheerful music continues]

[grunts]

-♪ Have you tried
His new one? ♪
-♪ No

♪ Oh, you've got to have a go♪

♪ Just pop one in
And everything becomes
A Broadway show ♪

[lights buzz]

♪ The news that
Makes you gasp♪

♪ The jokes that
Make you laugh ♪

♪ All that you say
And do all day♪

♪ Will be choreographed♪

♪ Lost your hair,
Can't think where♪

♪ Feeling fairly bare
Up there♪

♪ Don't despair,
I come prepared ♪

♪ Behold
My Hair Repair Eclair♪

♪ It's made from ground vanilla
From the markets of Manila♪

♪ Take heed,
Eat more than three ♪

♪ And you'll end up
Like a gorilla♪

[meows]

♪ Well, there's chocolate♪

♪ And there's chocolate♪

[meows]

♪ Only Wonka's makes you
Rock around the clock-elet♪

[tram bell dings]

♪ Put your hand
Into your pocke-let♪

-♪ Get yourself
-♪ Oh, put a sock in it!

-♪ Make sure
They're all frisked ♪
-[passengers gasp]

♪ Have you ever
Had chocolate like this?♪

♪ I've never
Had chocolate like this♪

[crowd] ♪ Put your hands
Into your pocke-let♪

♪ Get yourself
Some Wonka chocolate♪

♪ Put your hands
Into your pocke-let♪

♪ Get yourself
Some Wonka chocolate♪

♪ Put your hands
Into your pocke-let♪

♪ Get yourself
Some Wonka chocolate♪

♪ Put your hands
Into your pocke-let♪

♪ Get yourself some choc♪

-♪ Well, there's literate
-[music softens]

♪ And illiterate♪

♪ Can you tell me
What this word is?♪

♪ Not a bit of it♪

[sighs]

♪ Well, that's a vowel
And that's a consonant♪

♪ What's that now?
You're talking nonse-nence♪

♪ I should call it quits♪

♪ But you've never
Sold chocolate like this♪

[chuckles]

-♪ Well, there's chocolate ♪
-I understand that, yeah.

-♪ And there's chocolate
-Totally true.

♪ Only Wonka drives a hole
Right through our profi-lets♪

[chief] Yes, but what I'm
trying to tell you is that...

♪ If we don't get on top
Of this ♪

-♪ We'll go bust
-♪ Choc-apocalypse!

♪ We'll cease to exist♪

But, fellas...

♪ You've never
Had chocolate like this♪

♪ No, we've never
Had chocolate like this♪

-♪ Well, there's chocolate
-♪ Well, there's chocolate

-♪ And there's chocolate
-♪ And there's chocolate

[Willy]
♪ Only mine will find you
Buying wedding frocke-lets♪

[church bell tolls]

♪ We have just tied the knot♪

♪ And it's all because
Of Wonka's chocolate ♪

[crowd] ♪ Off to a life
Of bliss ♪

♪ You've never
Had chocolate like this♪

♪ No, we've never had♪

♪ Chocolate like this♪

♪ Have you ever
Had chocolate like this?♪

♪ No, we've never had
Chocolate♪

♪ No, we've never
Had chocolate like this♪

[both wolf-whistle]

[siren ringing]

[crowd vocalizing final note]

[whistle blowing]

[music ends]

[chief] All right, where is he?

-Where'd he go?
-[crowd murmuring]

[chief sighs]

[grunts]

[grunts]

So that's how you're doin' it.

Affable,

I want a man on every
storm drain in the city.

Are you sure, sir?

Shouldn't we be focusing on
all those unsolved murders?

No, no, no, no,
this is the priority.

Okay. [grunts]

-[exhales sharply, grunts]
-[bones cracking]

Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna need your help up.

Yep, there we go. [grunts]

Pretty sure I've gained
about 150 pounds

in the last two weeks.

[soft creaking]

[male voice] Ooh!

[grunts]

-[Willy grunts]
-[bed creaking]

[grunts softly]

[chuckles]

-[click]
-[gasps]

[screaming]

-[grunting]
-Gotcha!

[Oompa Loompa] What the devil?

Let me out of here.
I demand to be released.

[Willy] Incredible.
It can speak.

[Oompa Loompa] Well,
of course I can speak.

Now let me out of here,
or I shall shriek.

-[Willy] Wow.
-Let me out!

[Willy] Not until I take
a good look at you.

-[scoffs]
-[Willy] Wow.

Good evening.

So you're the funny little man
who's been following me.

"Funny little man"?
How dare you.

I will have you know

that I am a perfectly
respectable size

-for an Oompa Loompa.
-[glass clinks]

An Oompa-what-now?

In fact, in Loompaland,
I am regarded
as something of a whopper.

-They call me Lofty.
-[chuckles]

So, I will thank you
to stop gawping at me

as though I was
something unpleasant

you'd found
in your handkerchief.

I find it uncomfortable
and, frankly, rude.

Um... [smacks lips]

-Sorry.
-Now let me out of here.

You have absolutely no right

to go around
embottling innocent strangers.

Innocent?

Hold on, you've been
stealing from me. For years.

Well, you started it.

Me?

You stole our cocoa beans.

What are you talking about?

Do you mean
that you don't even remember?

Remember what?

The day you... [sniffles]

destroyed my life. [fake-sobs]

No, I don't remember that.

Well then, young man.

Allow me
to refresh your memory

in the form of a song
so ruinously catchy

that it may never
leave your mind.

[plays lilting tune]

Oh, I don't think
I wanna hear that.

-Too late.
-[upbeat music playing]

I've started dancing now.

Once we've started,
we can't stop, you see.

♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-doo♪

♪ I've got a tragic tale
For you ♪

♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-dee ♪

♪ If you are wise,
You'll listen to me♪

-[horn toots]
-♪ Dear Loompaland
Is both luscious and green ♪

♪ But not conducive
To growing the bean♪

♪ My job was guarding
What little we'd got♪

♪ You came along♪

♪ And pinched the lot♪

[Willy] Hey, why didn't you
say something?

[Oompa Loompa]
Well, perhaps I drifted off.

-[snoring]
-♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-day♪

♪ When I awoke,
They sent me away♪

♪ I'm disgraced,
Cast out in the cold♪

♪ Till I've paid my friends
Back a thousandfold ♪

[Willy] A thousandfold?
You gotta be kidding me!

[Oompa Loompa] I repeat...

-♪ A thousandfold
-[music stops]

Hah. Wow.

Um... [smacks lips]
Mr. Loompa,

if you really think
that's a reasonable penalty

for taking three beans...

Four beans.

...four beans,

then I'm sure we can come
to some sort of understanding.

But I can't give you
my entire supply.

I got people counting on me.

Hmm. [inhales]

Very well.

I tell you what.

You let me out of here,

and we can discuss it,
like gentlemen. Hmm?

All right.

Ah, thank you.
Now, would you be so very kind

as to pass me
that miniature frying pan?

Hmm. This one?

No, no.
The heavier one, please.

All right.

Thank you. Thank you very...

Ooh, I say, that is quite
a beast, isn't it?

Now, come a little closer.

That's it, closer,
closer, closer,

-come on, cozy on up.
-[chuckles] Okay.

-There we are.
-[chuckles] What?

-Ow!
-[upbeat music resumes]

[grunts]

[Willy] Ow!

Oompa Loompas
do not negotiate.

-Good day, sir.
-[groans]

[Willy] But that's my last jar!

I said good day.

[music stops]

-[thud]
-[Noodle] He came back?

[Willy] Yes, Noodle,
but this time I set a trap.

And he walked right into it.

So, where is he?

[Willy] Ah, well, we had
a fight, you see. He won.

Hit me on the head
with a frying pan

and jumped out of the window.

Of course he did. [sighs]

You don't believe me, do you?

Honestly? No.

No!

No.

-No.
-Definitely not.

But,

as it so happens,

we don't need
to sell chocolate today.

And why is that?

[Noodle] You know that shop?

The one you've
been dreaming of?

[keys jingling]

[lock turning]

[door creaking]

[Abacus] Now, I know
what you're thinking.

It may need a little work.

[lights buzz]

[Piper] Looks like someone
left the water running

twenty years ago
and the ceiling fell through.

And the ceiling above that,
and the ceiling above that.

[Abacus] But that means
we can afford it.

For a week, anyway.

[Lottie] And we'd finally
be legitimate.

The police wouldn't
have any excuse

to keep bothering us.

[Noodle] So,
what do you think, Willy?

Do you like it?

Do I like it?

Noodle, it's just
as I always imagined.

No, scratch that,
it's better than I imagined.

I mean, look at this place.

I mean, yeah, it's a wreck,
but... the potential!

-The bones!
-[laughs]

You mark my words,
this is gonna
be the best chocolate shop

-the world has ever seen.
-Whoo!

You won't be scrub-scrubbin'
much longer, Noodle.

-[chuckles]
-[Willy] We'll all be free.

As free as flamingos!

[Noodle chuckles]

[grunts]

[chief] There's six of them
in total.

Including the little girl.

She seems to be the brains
of the operation.

They're based out of a laundry
called Scrubitt and Bleacher.

[inhales sharply] Scrubitt's?

That's right. Why, you know it?

Yes, as a matter of fact,
I do.

[chief] They just
rented a shop.

So, legally, I can't
touch them. But illegally,

I'm happy to do
whatever you guys want.

You want 'em all
to have a little accident?

In which they die?

Not a problem.

But it's gonna cost you
a lot more chocolate.

It's all right, Chief.

[chief] And also, I'd, uh,
be grateful for an advance.

'Cause the last boxes
you gave me... [chuckles]

they're gone.

All of them?

I've been eating
these little paper cases

for the... for the past
three days. [chuckles]

You know, you think they're
gonna give you the same hit.

[laughs] They don't.

Oh. [breathing heavily]

[Slugworth]
There you go, Chief.

There's plenty more
where that came from.

You stand down for now.

We'll give you a call
when the time is right.

[kisses]

[Slugworth grunts]

What is it, Arthur?

[Slugworth] The girl.

[Fickelgruber]
You don't really think
it could be her, do you?

I do.

You always assured us
she wouldn't be a problem.

He's right. You did assure us.

And she won't be.

Nor will Wonka.

I'll see to it, personally.

[thunder rumbles]

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Who is it?
What d'you want?

[Mrs. Scrubitt gasps]

Mr. Slugworth.
[breathes heavily]

Just a minute, sir.

Good evening.

-Good evening.
-[Bleacher] Who is it,
puffy-wu...

-[cup shatters]
-[Bleacher] Stone me.

It's Mr. Slugworth.

[breath shudders]
To what do we owe the honor?

You have a guest.
A Mr. Wonka?

He's been sneaking out
to sell chocolate

with the help
of your serving girl.

Why, that little brat.

[Slugworth] Well, quite.

I wondered if you might
help me put an end to their...

business.

[thunder crashes]

[sighs]

[softly] Here we go, Mamma.

[people chattering]

[Willy, loudly]
Ladies and gentlemen,
greetings to you all,

and welcome to Wonka's.

Tremendous things
are in store,

both literally
and metaphorically.

What?

In there?

Humor me.

♪ Close your eyes
And count to ten♪

♪ Make a wish♪

♪ Now♪

♪ Open them♪

♪ Here's a store
That's like no other♪

♪ If it were,
I wouldn't bother ♪

-[mid-tempo music tempo plays]
-♪ Chocolate bushes

♪ Chocolate trees♪

♪ Chocolate flowers
And chocolate bees♪

-[crowd gasps]
-♪ Chocolate memories

♪ That a boy once saved♪

♪ Before they melted away♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ A place to escape to♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ Where you can be free♪

♪ Wherever you go♪

♪ Wherever life takes you♪

♪ This is your home♪

♪ A world of your own♪

[excited chatter]

♪ Here is the child♪

♪ That you left behind♪

♪ Here is the kid♪

♪ With the curious mind♪

♪ Here is the wonder
We used to feel♪

♪ Back when the magic
Was real♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ A place to go when you're♪

♪ Feeling alone♪

♪ Feeling unsure♪

Mmm!

♪ Embrace the unknown♪

♪ Enjoy the adventure♪

♪ Let's go strolling
In the clouds♪

♪ Grab a handful♪

♪ It's allowed♪

♪ Clouds are made
Of cotton candy ♪

♪ Just keep
Your umbrella handy ♪

♪ 'Cause there's
A hard rain gonna fall ♪

♪ Humbugs, gumdrops♪

♪ And aniseed balls♪

-[fireworks whistling]
-♪ Fireworks bring

♪ Sugar string to chew♪

[woman squeals, laughs]

♪ All the colors
Of the rainbow ♪

♪ And some others, too♪

♪ A world of our own♪

[female chorus]
♪ A world of our own♪

-♪ A place to escape to
-♪ A place to escape to

-♪ A world of our own
-♪ A world of our own

♪ Where we can be free♪

♪ That's where we can be free♪

♪ Wherever you go♪

♪ Wherever you go♪

♪ Wherever life takes you♪

♪ Wherever life takes you♪

♪ This is our home♪

♪ A world of our own♪

[music ends]

[Abacus] So, mushrooms,
pears, assorted flowers.

That comes to 89 sovereigns.

A bargain at twice the price.

Thank you, sir.

And how would
you like your change?

Spendable or edible?

Oh, edible, please.

[register dings]

-[Abacus] Enjoy.
-[laughs]

And, uh, don't forget
to eat your basket.

Oh.

Abacus, that man just
gave us 100 sovereigns.

-I know, Noodle!
-[both chuckle]

[man] Who's next?

[woman 1] That'll be me.
[woman 2] Me!

[people arguing]

Uh...

Mr. Wonka?

Yes?

What's going on here?

Oh, my goodness.

That's impossible.

Unless...

Yeti sweat?

Yeti sweat?

[Willy] The most powerful
hair potion in the world.

But I didn't put it in there.

Ladies and gentlemen!
Your attention, please!

There appears
to be a manufacturing error.

Nobody eat the flowers!

Uh, why not?

What's wrong with them?

[woman] What's the matter
with this toadstool?

My daughter took one bite,
and just look at her!

There's nothing wrong
with the chocolate milk,

is there?

I'm terribly sorry, everyone,

and I don't know
how to explain this, but...

it appears that the chocolates
have been poisoned!

-Poisoned?
-[crowd gasping]

-Poisoned?
-He poisoned my child!

I didn't...
I didn't poison them.

I want my money back.

I want compensation.

I want revenge.

Whoa!

[angry shouting]

No, no! Please!

[woman screams]

This is what you get for
mustach-ing my daughter!

[man] I'll wait for you.
[woman] Help! I have
to get away from this place.

[people screaming]

[Slugworth]
And that, I believe,

is the end
of Wonka's Chocolate Shop.

[Lottie] I don't understand.
What...

What...

What happened?

[Abacus] Isn't it obvious?

The Chocolate Cartel.

[Noodle sighs]

It's okay, Willy.
We can rebuild.

We can start again.

There's no point, Noodle.

It didn't work.

What do you mean?

She promised
she would be here.

She wasn't.

You didn't actually
think that...

[Willy] No, I did.

Stupid dream.

[Noodle] Don't say that, Willy.
Please don't ever...

[Abacus] Come on, Noodle.

I think Mr. Wonka
needs to be alone.

[Mamma] Every good thing
in this world
started with a dream.

So you hold on to yours.

And when
you do share chocolate
with the world, oh...

I'll be right there beside ya.

[Slugworth] Terrible shame,
what happened here.

[Willy] Take it you're
responsible?

[Slugworth] Us? Oh, no.
Well, not personally.

We may have
encouraged Mrs. Scrubitt

to enhance your creations.

[Prodnose] We paid her
to poison them.

[Slugworth] Yes,
thank you, Gerald.
[Prodnose] You're welcome.

So why have you come?

-To gloat?
-Oh, no, Mr. Wonka,

I don't waste my time
with that sort of thing.

We've come
to offer you a deal.

This is the precise amount
you owe Mrs. Scrubitt.

This is for
the number cruncher,

the plumber,

the telephonist,

the so-called funny-man,

and this...

is for the girl.

Now, we put in
a bit extra for her.

So that she can
get a place to live,

clothes, toys...

books.

[Slugworth] Oh, yes, Mr. Wonka.

You could change her life.
Change all their lives.

And what would I have to do?

Leave town.

Oh, and, um,

never make chocolate again.

There's a boat
sailing at midnight.

And for their sake,
as much as your own,

I hope you're onboard.

[melancholy music plays]

[Willy]
♪ Sorry, Noodle♪

♪ I guess I got carried away♪

♪ Sorry, Noodle♪

♪ I hope you'll forgive me
One day ♪

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Checking out,
are we?
[Willy] Yeah.

♪ I just wanted it♪

♪ To feel the way that it did♪

♪ When I was a kid♪

♪ Sorry, Noodle♪

[Slugworth] Ah, Mr. Wonka.

Your ticket. Uh, one-way.

To the North Pole.

It's premium economy.

[Prodnose] Yeah,
it's basically economy.

I mean, yeah,
you get a little more legroom.

A complimentary
packet of peanuts.

Is it worth the extra?

I don't know.
But these guys... [hesitates]

We don't need
to go into detail.

Goodbye,

Mr. Wonka.

-[bones crunching]
-[groans softly]

[exhales sharply]

[huffs]

[Willy] Thank you.

[flute plays lilting tune]

[Oompa Loompa music plays]

♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-dee♪

♪ I'm not in premium economy♪

♪ I'd go first class
If I were you♪

♪ That's what Oompa Loompas♪

♪ Doompety-do!♪

-[music ends]
-[chuckles]

So glad you're here.

Oh, I'm not going to let you
out of my sight, Willy Wonka.

Not till you've
paid your debt.

But I bring glad tidings
on that score.

What's that?

I've been doing my sums.

One more jar, and we're even.

Or, if you prefer,
I will accept half a jar

of those rather
amusing Hoverchocs.

-[ice rattling]
-You're outta luck.

I don't make chocolate
anymore.

Oh, dear, please don't tell me
you're going to go through
with this ridiculous deal?

I have to.

For Noodle.

I promised her a better life.

I pinkie promised.

You should stand up
to those bullies.

Give 'em the old one-two.

That's what
an Oompa Loompa would do.

[exhales]

But if you are determined

to just sit there
feeling sorry for yourself,

I am going flat.

Good night, sir.

[chair whirring]

[Willy] Huh.

[chair whirring]

[inhales] What is it?

No, nothing.

Well, it's obviously something
because you said, "Huh."

I'm sorry. Forget it.

-Very well.
-[chair whirring]

Huh.

-Oh, you did it again.
-[chair whirring]

Tell me what it is,
or I shall poke you

quite viciously
with a cocktail stick.

Look. Where Slugworth
shook my hand.

His ring left a mark. See?

It's an "A,"
surrounded by "S"s.

So what?
His name is Arthur Slugworth.

It's probably a family ring.

Yes, but Noodle has one
just like it.

-Noodle?
-Uh-huh.

Why would Noodle the orphan
have a Slugworth family ring?

There's only one reason
I can think of.

Which is?

And if I'm correct, Noodle
could be in grave danger.

Well, come on, Wonka.
Spit it out.

Produce your owl pellet
of wisdom.

There's no time.
I gotta get back.

-Captain!
-Wonka?

Come back here. Wonka!
I demand an explanation.

Captain?

On second thoughts,
the explanation can wait.

Good day to you.

[water splashes]

[water splashes]

[chief] Well, gentlemen,

one dead chocolatier,
as requested.

Miss Bon-Bon?

[Miss Bon-Bon]
Yes, Mr. Slugworth?

Give the chief his chocolate.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] My, my.

What a lot o' long faces
this morning.

It's almost as though you lot
had a sneaky little scheme

to try and wriggle out
of your contracts.

-Which spectacularly misfired.
-[Bleacher grunts, chuckles]

But I've got some good news
for you lot,

not that you deserve it.

Your friend, Mr. Wonka,
done a deal with Mr. Slugworth.

What?

Gave up on his dream
to settle your accounts.

-Mr. Crunch.
-Present.

You're free to go.

Scram, bookworm.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Bell.
[Lottie] Hello.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Sling yer hook.

Benz.

You ain't gotta tell me twice.
[chuckles]

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Chucklesworth.

You've been
a terrible audience.

Good night!

Yeah, well, you ain't been
much of a comedian, mate.

-[Larry] I know.
-Hey, Larry.

Keep going.
You've got something.

You scare me.

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
And finally, Noodle.

Biggest pile o' the lot.

But this isn't
to pay your bill.

-This is to keep you here.
-[door shuts]

-What do you mean?
-[door locks]

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
My friend, Mr. Slugworth,

doesn't think
nasty little urchins like you

should be out on the streets,

lowering the tone.

So, he gave me this money

to keep you down
in the Wash House for good.

And I'm only
too happy to oblige.

-I hate you!
-[Bleacher] Hey!

-Hey, hey, hey.
-[Mrs. Scrubitt laughs]

Look at her go,
Lord Bleachowitz.

-[both laugh]
-Lord Bleachowitz?

You don't still think
he's a lord, do you?

What?

We made it up,
you stupid old hag.

[Bleacher] She's...
she's lying.

Right, that's it,
you horrible little brat.

You're goin' in the coop,
my girl.

And you!
Take them dungarees off,

you... you peasant. [sobs]

But Puffy-wuffy.

I wuv you.

[Noodle gasps]

-[lock clicks]
-[breathing heavily]

[wings fluttering]

[cooing]

[thud]

[footsteps approaching]

Hello, Noodle.

[gasps] Willy.
I thought you'd gone.

I did.

Slugworth promised you
a better life,

but he didn't exactly
keep his side of the bargain.

So I came back. We all did.

[Piper] Hey, Noodle.
[Abacus] How do?

[Lottie] Hey.
[Larry gurgling] Surprise!

[Noodle] He wants me
locked up forever.

Yeah, well, that figures.

Why? What's he got against me?

I don't know, Noodle.
Not for sure.

All I know for certain
is that you won't be safe
until Slugworth

-is behind bars.
-[footsteps approaching]

And how exactly
is that supposed to happen?

Abacus.
You said the Cartel keep

a record
of all their dirty deeds.

In the green ledger, yes.

[Willy] So if we can
get hold o' that,

we can prove that
they poisoned our chocolate.

Scrubitt and Bleacher
would go to jail,

and we'll all be free.

Uh, yes, but may I remind you,

they keep that ledger
in a vault.

Guarded by a corrupt cleric.

And 500 chocoholic monks.

-[group] Mm-hmm.
-That's all true.

But I went for a long,
cold swim this morning.

Cold water is very good
for the brain.

Stimulates
the neural pathways.

And after just four miles,
it came to me.

How an ingenious orphan,

an accountant, a plumber,

a telephone exchange operator,

and a man
who can speak underwater,

could combine those talents,

and pull off
the heist of the century.

But even if we do get
our hands on that ledger,

the Cartel will simply bribe
their way out of trouble.

-It's what they do.
-[sighs]

[Noodle] The greedy
beat the needy, Willy.

It's just the way
of the world.

[Willy] You're right, Noodle.

I guess that's why
there's one other thing to do.

-What's that?
-[softly] Change the world.

[Piper] Whoa!

[chuckles]

Where do we start?

[bell tolling]

[knocks rhythmically]

[in English accent]
'Scuse me, sir.

Could you spare
a piece of chocolate
for a starvin' orphan?

I'm sorry, my child.
I don't have any on me.

[Noodle] Oh.

[whispers]
Then have some acacia mints.

Yes!

[door creaking]

[Basil] "To Basil Bond,
employee of the week."

[munches] Oh, that's lovely...

[groans drowsily]

[snoring]

Everything all right
back there?

Everything's fine.
Isn't it, Abigail?

[snorts]

Tell her she might
want to duck.

[Willy] Tell her she might
wanna what?

[Abacus] Duck!

[snorts]

[Father Julius]
Good morning, brethren.

[monks chant]
Good morning, Father.

[Father Julius]
Now, as you all know,

it's Baron von
Schmeichelhammer's
funeral today.

And his widow is...

-a bit of a pious type.
-[monks] Ugh!

[Father Julius]
So, I don't want
to see anyone

eating chocolate
during the service.

[monks chant] Yes, Father.

We all know that one day,

we shall be judged
for our sins,

but it's not going
to be today.

[monks chant] Amen.

[bell tolls]

[Abigail snorting]

[continues snorting]

[Father Julius] There, there.

Nice giraffe.

-Run! Everybody out!
-[monks singing] ♪ Giraffe♪

-[monk 1] Run!
-[monk 2] The beast!

-[Father Julius]
Save yourselves!
-[monks] ♪ Giraffe♪

-[monk 3] Get out!
-[monks] ♪ It's a giraffe♪

-Judgement has come!
-[monks]
♪ Giraffe's a giraffe♪

[monk 4] Run off! Quickly!

-In a most unexpected form.
-[monks] ♪ Got a giraffe♪

-[monks]
♪You're having a laugh
-Run away!

♪ I know it's a giraffe,
Giraffe, giraffe♪

What have I done
to deserve this?

You know what you've done,
Julius.

You've sold your soul
for 30 pieces of chocolate.

-[phones ringing]
-[indistinct talking]

Hello, operator.
How may I direct your call?

[Father Julius] I need the Zoo.
It's an emergency.

Putting you through
to the Escaped
Animal Department now.

[ringing]

Hello, Zoo.

[all mimicking animals' cries]

Quiet down, you animals.

[gurgling] You too, octopus.

-[Father Julius]
There's a giraffe.
-What? Oh, yeah, I think

-we did lose a giraffe.
-[mimicries continue]

Well, could you come
and get it?

Okay, jeez.
I'll send the guys around.

[sighs]

[sniffing]

[yelps]

Oh, forgive me!

I'm a sinner!

A weak and wicked chocoholic!

[organ music plays]

Good morning, everyone.

-[Father Julius] Welcome
to St. Benedict's.
-[sighs]

Baroness,
I'm so sorry for your loss.

We're just having a few
technical difficulties, um,

so you might want to pop

the late baron down
for a minute.

[tires screech]

Ah, the cavalry.

Are you the cleric
who called about a giraffe?

[Abacus] All clear.

[elevator dings]

[wheels squeak]

Huh. "Thanks
for all your hard work."

"Father Julius
and the Chocolate Cartel."

Oh, that's nice.

Mmm.

-[Abacus] Here we are, Father.
-[indistinct chatter]

-One giraffe.
-[all applauding]

[Father Julius] Marvelous.
[Abacus] Thank you, thank you.

Stand back, please.
Stand back.

♪ Have I got
A sweet tooth? Pow! I do ♪

[scatting]

[Willy whispering] Wow.

[Gwennie]
♪ Have I got a sweet tooth...♪

[Willy whispering]
She can really move.

[Gwennie] I could've
been happy, but I threw
a pearl away.

I'll give him a call.
No, I can't.

I will give him a call
actually.

-[telephone rings]
-[yelps]

Hello?

Basil? It's Gwennie.

You were right.

[Noodle] What are the chances?

Those days in chemistry class
were the happiest of my life.

-[Gwennie sobs]
-[groans]

[Noodle grunts]

Cool.

[flamingos honking]

[car horn honking]

[man] Sorry about this, sir.

The seafood truck
spilled its load.

There's so many blasted
flamingos about these days.

[Slugworth] Well,
hurry it along now, will you?

[man on radio] The town square
was closed this morning

after a bizarre incident
at the city cathedral.

Delaying the funeral
of noted philanthropist,

Baron von Schmeichelhammer.

[Father Julius]
In nomine Patris,

et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

Amen.

[telephone ringing]

Sorry, I'd best get that.
[chuckles]

[growls quietly]

-Hello, pulpit?
-[Slugworth] Father.

Everything all right there?

[Father Julius]
Oh, yes, Mr. Slugworth.

All tickety-boo.

At least, it is now.

-[Father Julius chuckles]
-What do you mean by that?

Oh, we had a giraffe
in here earlier.

Had to clear the whole place
for about 20 minutes,

but everything's
back to normal.

Hello?

Damn the flamingos,
Donovan! Floor it!

Yes, sir!

[flamingos honking]

[officer] Idiot!

[breathing heavily]

-Anything?
-Nothing.

Well, keep looking.

[Noodle]
It's not in here, Willy.

[Willy] But Abacus said
that it was here.

[Noodle] Abacus has been
in the Wash House
for the past four years.

Maybe all the scrubbing
has gone to his head.

'Cause all that's down here
is just a bunch
of stupid old chocolate.

[gasps]

[gasps]

Willy, look!

We did it, Noodle.

-We got 'em.
-[Noodle chuckles]

[gunshot]

[Slugworth] Naughty, naughty,
Mr. Wonka.

You've caused us
quite a bit of trouble.

You and your urchin.

Yeah, but she's not
just an urchin,

is she, Mr. Slugworth?

[gasps]

You're family.

[Noodle] What?

What are you talking about,
Willy?

You know that ring, Noodle?

The one your parents gave you?

Mr. Slugworth has one
just like it.

Don't you, Mr. Slugworth?

As a matter of fact, I do.

That belonged to my brother.
Zebedee.

Was he my father?

A hopeless romantic
is what he was.

Fell in love with
a common little bookworm,

died before
they could marry.

Leaving me sole heir
to the family fortune.

Or so I thought.

But nine months later,

your mother turned up
on my doorstep,

begging me to get a doctor
for her sick little newborn.

I said I would help.

[Noodle] But you didn't.
Did you?

[Slugworth] Oh, no.

[Noodle] Instead, you put me
down a laundry chute.

[Slugworth] Bye-bye, baby.

[Noodle]
Mrs. Scrubitt found me.

She saw the ring.

Thought it was an "N,"
and called me Noodle.

But it wasn't.

It was "Z." For Zebedee.

[Slugworth] Well, quite.

-When your mother returned,
I told her you had died.
-[sobbing] Oh, no!

[Slugworth] She was
heartbroken, of course.

But, uh, I gave her
a handful of sovereigns

and had her escorted
from my property.

What was her name?

Eh?

My mom. What was her name?

Ooh.

Let me see. Um...

No, I don't think
I could remember that.

[chuckling] Sorry.
But you have to understand,

she was very poor.

-[Fickelgruber gags]
-Sorry, Felix.

[Willy] Her name was Dorothy.

Dorothy Smith.
It says so right here.

Dorothy? [chuckles]

[Willy] Well, what do you know?

I guess you did teach me
to read after all.

[chuckles]

[Slugworth] Well,
this is all very touching,

but back to business.

We'll take that, thank you.

How much chocolate
do you have at your factory,
Mr. Fickelgruber?

Oh, about 80,000 gallons.

-Prodnose?
-[mumbles]

[Prodnose] Seventy-five?

[Slugworth] And I've got 150.

That should be enough.

For what?

Death by chocolate.

[lights buzz]

[chocolate bubbles]

On you go.

Uh, gentlemen.

Considering the situation,

I wondered if you'd do
a good deed on my behalf.

A what?

"A good deed."

It's a sort of pointless act
of selflessness...

Yes, of course, Mr. Wonka.

What would you like us to do?

I was wondering if you could
give this to someone.

Only if you happen to see him.

And who is it?

-A little orange man.
-Eh?

A little orange man.

About eight inches high,

with orange skin
and bright green hair.

I owe him a jar of chocolates,
you see. And, well,

I think these might be
the best I ever made.

Well, in that case,

I'll make sure
he gets them personally.

Farewell, Mr. Wonka.

Urchin.

[whirring]

-[heavy thudding]
-[Noodle gasps] Willy...

[handles squeaking]

[chocolate gurgling]

What are we gonna do, Willy?

I don't know, Noodle.
I'll think of something.

[elevator dings]

Best chocolate
he ever made, eh?

[Prodnose chuckling excitedly]

-Whoo-hoo.
-Oh!

[chocolate bubbling]

[Willy] I got it!

[Noodle] What is it?
Did you think of something?

[Willy] Yes, I did.

If we're gonna drown
in chocolate, Noodle,

and let's face it, we're gonna
drown in chocolate,

then it's gonna
be Wonka chocolate.

We're not gonna drown, Willy.
Look, there's a light.

We'll let the chocolate
lift us up,

we'll bang on the glass,

and pray somebody hears us.

That's a much better idea.

[elevator dings]

Ah, gentlemen.

It was a bit of a close shave
this morning,

and I was wondering if perhaps

we could rethink
our arrangement. Or...

Or... just leave things
as they are.

[Slugworth] Father.

Well, Wonka might be as nutty
as a fruitcake,

but he sure knew
how to make chocolate.

-[Father Julius] Mmm.
-But do you think

we should have saved some
for the Little Orange Man?

Tell me you're joking.

Uh, yes. Yes, I am.
Sorry, why am I?

[Slugworth] Because
there's no such thing

as a little orange man,
ya nincompoop.

[Willy grunting]

[Willy] Help!
[Noodle] Help!

[Willy] Somebody help, please!

-Please help!
-Help!

Look. Look,
somebody's coming. Look.

Willy, we're saved!

[Noodle panting]

-I'm sorry, Noodle.
-Don't be.

You found my family.

A mom who loved me.

That's all I ever wanted.

Deep breath now.

[both inhale deeply]

[Father Julius] Mmm! Exquisite.

You mustn't let yourself
get so worked up.

It's just a bit of chocolate.

-[door opens]
-[Oompa Loompa] Correction.

It was actually my chocolate.

[elevator dings]

You have made
a very grave error, gentlemen.

You steal from
an Oompa Loompa,

we take back

a thousandfold.

-[chocolate draining]
-[both gasping for air]

What's going on, Willy?

It's draining, Noodle.

We've been saved!

-By who?
-I don't know.

By the Little Orange Man!
[chuckling]

-Look.
-Wh...

[Willy] The Little Orange Man!

[screaming] Thank you,
Little Orange Man! Thank you!

-[Willy cheering]
-[Noodle squealing]

[both cheering]

[siren ringing]

[brakes screech]

Gentlemen.
Thank goodness you're okay.

I came as fast as I could.

[chief grunting]

Whew! Car shrunk.

[Slugworth] I'm sure it did.

And you've nothing
to worry about, Chief.

All under control.

A couple of thieves broke in,
but I'm afraid

they met with a little...
accident.

In which they died.

[Prodnose chuckling]

[chuckling] That's actually
rather good, Gerald.

[Willy] I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

Officer, would you kindly
take a look at this?

Wonka!

[Noodle] It details
every single illegal payment

these men have ever made.

Thousands of them.

[scoffs] Affable, don't listen
to her. She's lyin'.

Well, of course she is.
[chuckles nervously]

[Affable] She's not, sir.

She's absolutely right.

It's incredible.

Oh. Well.

Then that sounds like a case

for the Chief of Police.
[chuckles]

So you give it to me, Affable,
I'll, uh...
I'll take it off your hands.

You know,
save you the paperwork.

I can't do that,
I'm afraid, sir.

[chuckles] Why's that?

Because your name
is written down here.

Huh?

-A lot.
-Gentlemen...

-[Affable] You're under arrest.
-[Slugworth] Run.

[chief] We puttin'
handcuffs on, here?

-[gasps]
-That's okay, Noodle.

Give it one second.

[Cartel exclaiming]

[Prodnose] What's happening?

Why are we airborne?

[Willy] You didn't eat
any of those chocolates,

-did you, Mr. Slugworth?
-Why?

[Willy] Because
they're Hoverchocs.

Delayed action,
but extra strong.

[Slugworth] You think you're
very clever, don't you, Wonka?

Well, there's a billion
sovereigns of chocolate
beneath our feet.

We'll get the best lawyers,

bribe the judge,
rig the jury if we have to.

We'll be fine.

I wish I'd thought of that.

Hey, Noodle!

[metal banging]

[handles squeaking]

-[ground rumbling]
-[crowd exclaiming]

[all yell]

[Prodnose] What is that?

[Slugworth crying]
It's our chocolate!

[Fickelgruber]
All our chocolate!

[Prodnose] We're ruined!

[Willy] Hey, don't worry,
gentlemen.

You'll come down eventually.

Probably. I think.

But until then,

ladies and gentlemen,

-Willy Wonka and friends...
-[laughing]

...invite you
to enjoy our chocolate.

-[woman] Yay! Magic Wonka!
-[Basil chuckling]

Gwennie?

Basil! [chuckles]

[Willy] What did I say, Abacus,

I told you
we could fix it all.

[indistinct chatter]

Your cup.

Thank you.

-There you are.
-[Lottie] There you go.

-Careful, not too much.
-[chuckles]

Okay.

[inhales deeply]

[kisses, blows]

[chuckles softly]

[kisses, blows]

[chuckling]

[gasps]

[both chuckle]

-[Noodle] Mmm. [chuckles]
-Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

[Abacus] Mmm.
[Piper] Thank you.

-Mmm. [chuckles]
-[Willy] Oh.

Huh.

[Noodle] So...
how does it feel, Willy?

Is it as good as you remember?

Every little bit.

[chuckles]

I wish it could last forever.

[chuckles]

-[pigeon cooing]
-[clock strikes]

I guess it's time.

Time for what?

Do you know
how many people in this city
are named D. Smith?

106.

And luckily, you have
a friend who works
at the telephone exchange.

And she spent
the entire afternoon

ringing around.

And guess what?

We found her.

You found my mom?

[Abacus] She works
in the library.

That's where she lives.

[Willy] Come on, Noodle.

[clock chimes]

♪ Come with me♪

♪ And you'll be♪

♪ In a world♪

♪ Of pure imagination♪

♪ Reach out, touch♪

♪ What was once♪

♪ Just in your imagination♪

♪ Don't be shy♪

♪ It's all right♪

♪ If you feel
A little trepidation♪

♪ Sometimes
These things don't♪

♪ Need explanation♪

♪ If you want
To view paradise♪

♪ Simply look at them
And view it♪

♪ Somebody to hold on to♪

♪ It's all we really need♪

[Dorothy chuckles]

♪ Nothing else to it♪

-Mom.
-[chuckles, sniffles]

[Oompa Loompa]
So goes a good deed

in a weary world.

[Willy] I was wondering
if I'd see you again.

I'm not going anywhere,
Willy Wonka.

Not until you've
paid your debt.

Now, I know you tried.

Loompa law is very clear
on this subject.

Until such time

as the chocolate is physically
in my hand...

Oh. Thank you.

Thank you. For saving my life.

[inhales]

Well, I suppose
that concludes our business.

I will now return
to my beloved Loompaland.

Where the cocoa beans grow in
disappointingly small numbers,

and my friends
look down on me.

What? I thought
they called you Lofty.

The truth is that
I am a quarter-inch

below average.

They call me Shorty-pants.

-[chuckles]
-But there it is.

Good day to you, sir.

Uh, it's a shame
you have to go.

I said good day.

If I'm gonna share
my chocolate with the world,

I'm gonna need
more than a shop.

I'm sure you will.

I'm gonna need a factory.

[chuckles] Yeah, well,
good luck with that.

And someone to head up
the tasting department.

The tasting department?

-[bright music playing]
-♪ Come with me♪

All right.

-♪ And you'll be♪
-Where?

[Willy] ♪ In a world
Of pure imagination ♪

[Oompa Loompa]
It's a ruined castle.

[Willy] ♪ Take a look♪

♪ And you'll see♪

♪ Into your imagination♪

[Oompa Loompa] Frankly,
I rather doubt it.

[chuckles]
♪ We'll begin with a spin♪

♪ Traveling in the world
Of my creation♪

♪ What we'll see♪

♪ Will defy explanation♪

Well, that does
defy explanation.

♪ If you want
To view paradise♪

♪ Simply look around
And view it ♪

♪ Anything you want
You do it♪

♪ Wanna change the world?
There's nothing to it♪

Not bad.

♪ There is no life I know♪

♪ To compare
With pure imagination♪

♪ Living there,
You'll be free♪

♪ If you truly♪

♪ Wish to be♪

[music ends]

[flute plays lilting tune]

[Oompa Loompa music playing]

♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-do♪

♪ I've got a little
Bonus for you ♪

♪ Sit back down
And stay in your seat♪

♪ For a last
Oompa Loompa-ish treat♪

♪ Abacus Crunch
Returned to his home♪

♪ Benz to her friends♪

♪ Lottie Bell to her phones♪

♪ Brave Larry made
A triumphant comeback♪

♪ One day his ex-wife♪

♪ Saw the act♪

♪ Laughed a lot
And took him back♪

♪ Oompa Loompa doompety-day♪

♪ But what of Mrs. Scrubitt
And Bleacher, you say? ♪

♪ Give me
Just a moment or two♪

♪ And I'll Oompa Loompa
Show it to you♪

Oh. What is wrong
with this thing?

Infernal machine. [grunts]

♪ I'll show it to you♪

-[music ends]
-There. Much better.

[Mrs. Scrubitt] Shoes,
facelift, nose job, Ibiza,

big old house in the country,
lingerie.

It's the Cartel.
They've gone down.

-We ain't done nothin'.
-[door closes]

Oh, except poison
all them chocolates.

-[knock at door]
-[Affable] Police. Open up.

Quick! Drink the evidence.

[knock at door]

Oh, just a second, Officer.

-[knock at door]
-[Affable] Police.

[Mrs. Scrubitt]
I'm on the toilet, Officer.

Open up.

-One wipe, and I'm done.
-[knock at door]

Oh, there's more coming,
hang on a minute.

Right.

Wow.

[pants] How can we help you,
Officer? [snorts]

You two are coming with me.

[Bleacher]
But we ain't done nothin'.

You're going away
for a very long time.

[Mrs. Scrubitt sobs]
One last kiss, my Lord?

-Oh, puffy-wuffy.
-[sobs]

[both moaning]

[both grunt]

[Mrs. Scrubitt sobs loudly]

[magical music plays]

[Willy]
♪ Close your eyes♪

♪ And count to ten♪

♪ Make a wish♪

-♪ Now
-[snaps fingers]

♪ Open them♪

♪ Here's a store
That's like no other♪

♪ If it were,
I wouldn't bother ♪

-[mid-tempo music tempo plays]
-♪ Chocolate bushes♪

♪ Chocolate trees♪

♪ Chocolate flowers
And chocolate bees♪

♪ Chocolate memories♪

♪ That a boy once saved♪

♪ Before they melted away♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ A place to escape to♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ Where you can be free♪

♪ Wherever you go♪

♪ Wherever life takes you♪

♪ This is your home♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ Here is the child
That you left behind♪

♪ Here is the kid
With the curious mind♪

♪ Here is the wonder
We used to feel♪

♪ Back when
The magic was real♪

♪ A world of your own♪

♪ A place to go when you're♪

♪ Feeling alone♪

♪ Feeling unsure♪

♪ Embrace the unknown♪

♪ Enjoy the adventure♪

♪ Let's go strolling
In the clouds♪

♪ Grab a handful,
It's allowed♪

♪ Clouds are made
Of cotton candy♪

♪ Just keep
Your umbrella handy ♪

♪ 'Cause there's
A hard rain gonna fall ♪

♪ Humbugs, gumdrops
And aniseed balls♪

♪ Fireworks bring♪

♪ Sugar string to chew♪

♪ All the colors
Of the rainbow ♪

♪ And some others, too♪

-♪ A world of our own
-♪ A world of our own

-♪ A place to escape to
-♪ A place to escape to

-♪ A world of our own
-♪ A world of our own

-♪ Where we can be free
-♪ That's where
We can be free ♪

-♪ Wherever you go
-♪ Wherever you go

-♪ Wherever life takes you
-♪ Wherever life takes you

♪ This is our home♪

♪ A world of our own♪