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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,370
(theme music playing)
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00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,490
♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪
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00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,592
♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪
4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,594
♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪
5
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,262
♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪
6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,898
♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE
HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪
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00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,166
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
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00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,168
♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪
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00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,170
♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪
10
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,007
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,110
♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪
12
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,013
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,883
♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT
LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪
14
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,319
♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪
15
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,423
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
16
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,113
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
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00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,414
♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
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00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,171
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪
19
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(yawns)
20
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:20,156
- Mrs. Roper: STANLEY?
- WHAT?
21
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,482
COME ON IN HERE A MINUTE. I
WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
22
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,953
AW, HELEN, NOT BEFORE BREAKFAST.
23
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,805
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
SINK. IT'S STOPPED UP.
24
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,207
WHAT DID YOU BLOCK
IT UP WITH THIS TIME?
25
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:42,066
NOTHING! I WAS JUST
PUTTING ON MY MAKEUP.
26
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,970
I THINK YOU NEED A SECOND COAT.
27
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:53,890
AND I THINK YOU NEED
TO REPLACE THAT SINK.
28
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,847
ARE YOU CRAZY?
29
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,564
YOU CAN'T THROW
AWAY A SINK LIKE THAT.
30
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,299
LOOK AT THE WORKMANSHIP.
31
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,368
THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM
LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
32
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,537
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, STANLEY.
33
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,128
THE CIVIL WAR
CHANGED EVERYTHING.
34
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,793
THE WATER'S NOT EVEN MOVING.
35
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,949
YOU MUST HAVE DROPPED
SOMETHING IN HERE.
36
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,819
WAIT A MINUTE. WHERE'S
YOUR WEDDING RING?
37
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:27,646
WHERE IT ALWAYS IS...
SOAKING IN THE RUST REMOVER.
38
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,095
I CAN FIX THIS EASY.
39
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,565
YOU KNOW, THE FIRST THING
THAT A PRO WILL TELL YOU IS,
40
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:39,491
"CHECK YOUR CLOG,
CHECK YOUR CLOG."
41
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,440
NO, THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE.
42
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,508
NOW, THE SECOND
THING... (groaning)
43
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,452
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- MY FINGER'S CAUGHT
IN THE DRAIN.
44
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:53,149
CHRISSY, LINDA, STOP
HOGGING THE BATHROOM.
45
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,718
- IT'S MY TURN NOW.
- Chrissy: RIGHT AWAY, JACK.
46
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,955
JANET GOES AWAY FOR ONE DAY AND
THE WHOLE PLACE FALLS APART. LINDA...
47
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,724
I'M SORRY, JACK. I'M JUST
NOT USED TO YOUR SYSTEM.
48
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:04,093
IT TAKES TIME TO PUT MY FACE ON.
49
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,596
NOW THAT YOU'VE DONE THAT
COULD I GET IN THERE PLEASE?
50
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,365
THIS IS NOT MY FACE.
IT'S STILL IN HERE.
51
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,468
WAIT A MINUTE...
52
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,970
HEY, I'M LATE. I GOTTA GET
IN THERE. COME ON, GIRLS!
53
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,805
Chrissy: FIVE MORE
MINUTES, JACK.
54
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:19,342
I'VE TAKEN OFF ALL MY CLOTHES.
55
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,712
I'M STANDING OUT HERE
TOTALLY IN THE NUDE.
56
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,514
IN THAT CASE,
MAKE IT 10 MINUTES.
57
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:28,150
THAT'S CUTE, CHRISSY. COME ON.
OPEN THE DOOR. I'M LATE. PLEASE?
58
00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,953
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
59
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,921
JACK, YOU KNOW,
IT WAS NICE OF YOU
60
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,923
TO INVITE LINDA HERE
FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
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00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,126
- SURE. ANYTIME. EXCUSE ME.
- WHILE JANET'S AWAY VISITING
HER FAMILY,
62
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,929
IT REALLY WOULDN'T BE RIGHT IF
YOU AND I WERE STAYING ALONE.
63
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,565
- BOY, DON'T I KNOW THAT...
- IT WAS SO NICE OF LINDA
64
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,201
- TO AGREE TO COME HERE
AND STAY WITH US.
- YEAH, CHRISSY.
65
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,003
- EXCUSE ME...
- WHILE I THINK ABOUT IT,
66
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,839
- SHE HASN'T BEEN
ANY PROBLEM AT ALL.
- I'M IN A HURRY.
67
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,608
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME ALL THIS?
68
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,943
- TO SAVE
THE BATHROOM FOR LINDA.
- HANG ON. LINDA
69
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,612
THANK YOU, CHRISSY!
70
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,047
OH HEY, LINDA! I HAVE TO SHAVE.
71
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,282
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
SHARE THE BATHROOM TODAY.
72
00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,918
OKAY, JACK, COME ON IN.
73
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,254
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT
THIS JAM UP. IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
74
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:08,424
OH IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU'RE
JUST NOT BATHROOM-TRAINED...
75
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,815
FOR THREE PEOPLE, I MEAN.
76
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,188
HUT ONE, HUT TWO, READY DOWN!
77
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,972
WHY DO YOU BRUSH
YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT?
78
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,608
BECAUSE I LIKE TO HAVE
A LOT OF BODY IN BACK.
79
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,999
OH IT WORKS, LINDA, IT
WORKS. I'M TELLING YOU.
80
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,948
JACK, REMEMBER WE
HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.
81
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,417
WHILE I'M STAYING HERE,
THERE IS NO FOOLING AROUND.
82
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,053
- I WAS JUST LOOKING.
- YEAH.
83
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:41,323
AND IF YOUR EYES WERE
HANDS, YOU'D BE UNDER ARREST.
84
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,959
- (whispers) THANK YOU. - LINDA?
85
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,827
HAVE YOU SEEN MY
NEW EYELINER PENCIL?
86
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,491
- I THINK IT'S IN
THE MEDICINE CHEST.
- OH, THANKS.
87
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,903
CHRISSY, I'M TRYING
TO SHAVE. DO YOU MIND?
88
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,526
WELL, GO AHEAD.
89
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,957
COME ON, JACK!
90
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,626
LOOK, THIS IS PART MY
BATHROOM TOO, YOU KNOW?
91
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,228
THERE JUST ISN'T ROOM
ENOUGH IN THIS MIRROR.
92
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,352
SURE THERE IS. HANG ON.
93
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,808
THAT'S YOURS, THAT'S
YOURS, AND THIS IS MINE.
94
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,632
- OKAY?
- OKAY.
95
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,615
Linda: CAN YOU HAND
ME THAT TOWEL?
96
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,282
- SURE.
- Chrissy: HERE YOU GO.
97
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,240
THANK YOU, CHRISSY.
98
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,559
- Jack: WATCH IT!
- (loud clang)
99
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,529
SORRY I YELLED, BUT YOU ALMOST
KNOCKED OVER MY AFTERSHAVE.
100
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:56,365
- Linda: I DIDN'T SEE IT.
- YOU GIRLS HAVE TO BE
MORE CAREFUL.
101
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,300
THIS IS MY SECRET WEAPON.
102
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,970
- HERE TAKE A WHIFF.
- (both sniff)
103
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,806
DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU
WANNA TEAR OFF MY CLOTHES?
104
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,809
NO, IT MAKES ME WISH WE
HAD SEPARATE BATHROOMS.
105
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,511
(laughs)
106
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,658
I'M GETTING LOW. I GOTTA
BUY SOME MORE TODAY.
107
00:06:10,682 --> 00:06:11,047
UH-UH.
108
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,250
COME ON, NOW. NOBODY BUYS
ANYTHING UNTIL WE PAY THE RENT.
109
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,986
WE'RE ALREADY 10 DAYS
LATE AND WE'RE $50 SHORT.
110
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,088
OH YEAH, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO ABOUT THAT $50?
111
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,590
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK YOUR
LANDLORD FOR AN EXTENSION?
112
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,425
Jack: MR. ROPER?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
113
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,649
HE'S THE CHEAPEST MAN ALIVE!
114
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,431
I BET HE'S GOT EVERY
DOLLAR HE'S EVER MADE
115
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,968
SEWN INSIDE HIS MATTRESS.
116
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,537
(all laugh)
117
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,874
- MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE DOESN'T
GET ROMANTIC AT NIGHT.
- WHY?
118
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,698
- HE'S AFRAID HE'LL
WRINKLE HIS MONEY.
- (all laugh)
119
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,714
Chrissy: WE NEED
TO FIGURE OUT HOW
120
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,448
WE'RE GONNA GET THAT OTHER $50.
121
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,918
Jack: MAYBE WE DON'T HAVE
TO. I'LL TELL ROPER THAT
122
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,888
I NEED THE $50 TO BUY
SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT.
123
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,691
- Chrissy: BUY WHAT?
- Jack: I DON'T KNOW... LIKE A BLENDER.
124
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,727
- Linda: A BLENDER?
- YEAH, I'LL TELL HIM
I NEED TO PRACTICE RECIPES
125
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,395
FOR NEXT MONTH'S COOKING EXAM.
126
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,498
COME ON, JACK. ONLY AN IDIOT
WOULD BELIEVE A STORY LIKE THAT.
127
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:06,569
- YEAH, LOOK WHO WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
- (all laugh)
128
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,738
- HEY, I'M LATE. I GOTTA RUN.
- ME TOO.
129
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,174
- OH LINDA, YOU SAID
YOU'D PICK UP - YEAH...
130
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,375
- A SALAD
FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
- Linda: RIGHT.
131
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:17,446
- CHRISSY, YOU PROMISED
YOU'D PICK UP MY LAUNDRY.
- YEAH. RIGHT. WAIT A MINUTE.
132
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,316
HOW COME WE'RE DOING ALL THE
WORK? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA PICK UP?
133
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,752
IF I'M LUCKY, THAT LITTLE
BLONDE IN MY PASTRY CLASS.
134
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,989
JACK, THAT IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND
IN THE OTHER ROOM THERE.
135
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,225
NOT RIGHT NOW. AS LONG
AS SHE'S LIVING WITH US,
136
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,960
SHE'S OFF LIMITS.
137
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,529
OH, I GUESS THAT'S OKAY.
138
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,265
BOY, YOU LEAD A
COMPLICATED LIFE, JACK.
139
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,969
- HEY, THAT'S ME
IN A NUTSHELL.
- (giggles)
140
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,704
MR. ROPER, WHAT
BRINGS YOU UP HERE?
141
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,140
OH NOTHING SPECIAL.
JUST THE RENT.
142
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:47,243
THE RENT? OF COURSE, THE RENT.
143
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,678
YOU KNOW, THOSE 300 LITTLE
REASONS I LET YOU LIVE HERE.
144
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:53,216
YEAH, MR. ROPER, I HAVE
A TINY FAVOR TO ASK YOU.
145
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,652
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I NEED $50 TO
BUY A BLENDER FOR COOKING SCHOOL.
146
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,288
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW
IMPORTANT A BLENDER IS TO A CHEF?
147
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,724
OF COURSE, I DO. AND
YOU'RE VERY LUCKY.
148
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,860
- I AM?
- 'CAUSE I HAVE ONE
WITH ME RIGHT HERE.
149
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,995
- WHAT?
- AND YOU COULD BORROW IT.
150
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,552
- I CAN?
- YEAH.
151
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,835
AND NOW YOU COULD LET
ME HAVE ALL THE RENT, RIGHT?
152
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,570
I CAN, I CAN, I CAN...
153
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,473
SURE, BUT I CAN'T.
I MEAN... WE... WE...
154
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,765
WE HAVE THE RENT MONEY.
IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T HAVE IT.
155
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,914
- WHERE IS IT?
- WELL, YOU SEE... CAUSE WE...
156
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,671
IT'S... IT'S IN JACK'S
LOCKER AT SCHOOL.
157
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,088
YOU KEEP YOUR MONEY
IN JACK'S LOCKER?
158
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:36,214
- WHY?!
- I DON'T REMEMBER,
BUT... JACK DOES THOUGH.
159
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,329
WELL... SEE...
160
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,032
IF WE'RE ROBBED AND
THE MONEY ISN'T HERE,
161
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,201
THEN IT WON'T BE
STOLEN. (laughs nervously)
162
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,158
THAT'S GOOD, JACK!
163
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,808
LOOK, THE RENT IS
10 DAYS OVERDUE.
164
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,977
NOW I WANT IT TODAY. IF I DON'T GET
IT TODAY, I'VE GOT SOMEBODY WAITING
165
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,080
WHO WILL PAY MORE
FOR THIS APARTMENT.
166
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,448
YOU MEAN YOU WOULD THROW
US OUT INTO THE STREET?
167
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,017
NO, I'D MOVE YOU TO 305.
168
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,821
- 305, THAT'S SO TINY.
- AND DARK.
169
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,323
YEAH, WITH A VIEW
OF A BRICK WALL.
170
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:11,894
WELL, BEGGARS CAN'T
BE "VIEWSTERS." (laughs)
171
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,752
"VIEWSTERS"?
172
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,001
WHEN YOU GET THE
RENT, I'M NOT SAYING IF,
173
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,470
I'M SAYING WHEN YOU GET IT,
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME.
174
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,934
I'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS
COUNTING MY MATTRESS.
175
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,881
(whispers) WHAT IS THIS?
176
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,518
- HI, JACK.
- OH HI, LINDA.
177
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,588
HEY, GREAT! YOU GOT
SOME MONEY FOR YOUR RENT.
178
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,624
YEAH, $2.33.
179
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,659
OH... WHERE'D YOU GET IT?
180
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,795
I RETURNED OUR EMPTY BOTTLES.
181
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,564
I DIDN'T SEE ANY EMPTY BOTTLES.
182
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,155
I EMPTIED THEM.
183
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,937
WELL, HEY, I'M DESPERATE.
WHAT CAN I SAY, LINDA?
184
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,339
JACK, I REALLY FEEL
BAD ABOUT THIS.
185
00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:01,177
YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALWAYS
WELCOME TO ANYTHING I'VE GOT.
186
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,201
MAYBE LATER, LINDA.
RIGHT NOW I NEED MONEY.
187
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,983
THAT'S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
188
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,185
- I WISH I HAD SOME
TO LEND YOU.
- OH...
189
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,288
JACK, LINDA, THIS IS TERRIBLE!
190
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,158
OH, CHRISSY, DON'T WORRY.
191
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,359
YEAH, CHRISSY, WE'LL
GET THE RENT SOMEHOW.
192
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:20,396
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE
RENT. I'VE GOT A WART, LOOK!
193
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,666
OH IS THAT ALL?
194
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,936
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "IS THAT
ALL"? I'LL NEVER GET RID OF IT.
195
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,195
SURE YOU WILL, CHRISSY, JUST AS
SOON AS YOU STOP DATING FROGS.
196
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,131
- JACK.
- RIBBIT RIBBIT.
197
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,846
HOW CAN YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE?
198
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,714
DON'T YOU KNOW
THIS COULD SPREAD?
199
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,450
- I COULD GET THEM
ALL OVER MY BODY!
- EW...
200
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,220
HEY, CHRISSY, I'M ONLY KIDDING.
IT'S JUST ONE LOUSY WART.
201
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,322
LOOK AT ME, I'M ALL LUMPY.
202
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,524
THIS IS GONNA
RUIN MY SOCIAL LIFE.
203
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,360
OH NO, IT WON'T, CHRISSY.
IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
204
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,229
I'VE SEEN THIS HAPPEN
TO OTHER GIRLS.
205
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,097
I NEVER THOUGHT IT
WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.
206
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:58,534
- Jack: IT HARDLY SHOWS.
- Chrissy: NOT YET,
BUT YOU KNOW
207
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,726
WHAT TORTURE IT'S GOING TO BE WATCHING
THIS THING GET BIGGER AND BIGGER?
208
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:07,165
- THIS IS AWFUL!
- CHRISSY'S GOING
TO HAVE A BABY!
209
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,013
Linda: WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
210
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,149
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I'M GONNA GET RID OF IT.
211
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,651
- HOW?
- I'LL GO TO THE DOCTOR.
212
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,887
NO, CHRISSY, YOU DON'T
NEED TO GO TO A DOCTOR.
213
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,351
WE CAN GET RID OF IT RIGHT HERE.
214
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,049
- HOW?
- ALL I NEED IS TOE-NAIL
CLIPPERS AND A BAND-AID.
215
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:31,033
Linda: JACK...
216
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,937
CHRISSY, I HEARD IT WILL GO
AWAY IF YOU RUB IT WITH A POTATO.
217
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,307
A POTATO?! OW!
218
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,265
HELEN!
219
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,680
- HELEN?
- Helen: WHAT?
220
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,716
- COME IN
THE BEDROOM, QUICK!
- OH STANLEY, NOW?!
221
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,673
OH MY GOD, HELEN!
222
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,458
WILL YOU STOP THAT?
223
00:11:56,482 --> 00:12:00,696
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I WANT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMEBODY HAVING A BABY.
224
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:05,601
IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT BUT
WE COULD GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS!
225
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,270
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?
226
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,560
CHRISSY IS PREGNANT.
227
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,575
- OUR CHRISSY?
- YEAH.
228
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,433
AND SHE WANTS TO GET RID OF IT.
229
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,248
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
230
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,907
I... I HEARD IT WHEN I WENT
UPSTAIRS TO COLLECT THE RENT.
231
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,988
(sighs)
232
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,657
CHRISSY IS PREGNANT?!
233
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,459
DON'T ACT SO SURPRISED.
234
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,628
KIDS TODAY HAVE A
WARPED SENSE OF VALUES.
235
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,320
THEY THINK THAT SEX IS FUN.
236
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:49,278
OH, POOR LITTLE CHRISSY.
237
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:53,537
- I WONDER
WHO THE FATHER IS.
- SOME GUY.
238
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,987
VERY GOOD, STANLEY.
239
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,178
YOU KNOW MORE THAN I THOUGHT.
240
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:06,763
OH I FEEL SO SORRY
FOR POOR LITTLE CHRISSY.
241
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,798
WILL YOU STOP
WORRYING ABOUT CHRISSY?
242
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,135
I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING
THAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.
243
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,937
YOU DO?
244
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,395
YEAH, COME HERE.
245
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:24,335
- I FIXED THE SINK.
- OH.
246
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,817
WELL, YOU DON'T
SOUND VERY EXCITED.
247
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:30,686
YOU FIXED A SINK, STANLEY.
248
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,422
YOU DIDN'T DISCOVER URANIUM.
249
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,424
YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DO?
250
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,359
I HAD TO CLEAN OUT
THIS WHOLE PIPE.
251
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,595
- AND YOU KNOW WHAT
WAS BLOCKING IT UP?
- WHAT?
252
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,765
YOUR HAIR! I PULLED CLUMPS
OF YOUR HAIR OUT OF THIS.
253
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,467
HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS MY HAIR?!
254
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,971
IF IT WASN'T, SOMEBODY
SHAVED A COLLIE IN HERE.
255
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,941
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
256
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,442
I'M GONNA PUT THIS PIPE BACK
257
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,600
AND THEN YOU'LL SEE
HOW A SINK REALLY WORKS.
258
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,405
WELL, IT WON'T WORK
WITH THE PLUG IN IT.
259
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,987
(muffled yelling)
260
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,456
- OH I'M SORRY!
- LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I'M SOAKED!
261
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,794
WELL, I WASN'T THINKING.
I'VE GOT MY MIND ON CHRISSY.
262
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,430
ARE YOU SURE SHE WANTS
TO GET RID OF THE BABY?
263
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,865
WILL YOU BUTT OUT OF THE
TENANTS' AFFAIRS, PLEASE?
264
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,536
I CAN'T! I'M GONNA GO
UPSTAIRS AND TALK TO HER...
265
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,704
IT'S TOO LATE. YOU
KNOW WHAT THEY SAY?
266
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:26,288
THERE'S NO SENSE LOCKING THE
BARN DOOR AFTER YOU'VE MADE HAY.
267
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,648
CHRISSY, THE BEST THING TO DO:
268
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,917
GO TO THE DOCTOR TOMORROW.
HE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
269
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,585
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
270
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,021
YEAH, AND WHEN YOU GET
BACK HOME, GO RIGHT UP TO 305.
271
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,756
- Chrissy: WHY?
- (doorbell rings)
272
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,259
BECAUSE ROPER WILL HAVE
THROWN US OUT OF HERE BY THEN.
273
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,449
- YEAH...
- MAYBE EVEN SOONER.
274
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:51,967
- OH HI, MRS. ROPER.
- OH POOR LITTLE CHRISSY.
275
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:57,261
OH... OH SHE'S JUST
A BABY HERSELF.
276
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,678
CHRISSY, WE HAVE
SO MUCH TO DISCUSS.
277
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:06,715
YOU KNOW, ABOUT
YOUR LITTLE VISITOR?
278
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,217
YOUR LITTLE VISITOR?
279
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,488
CHRISSY, DID YOU INVITE SOMEONE
TO DINNER WITHOUT TELLING ME?
280
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,556
- NO.
- LOOK JACK,
281
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,559
WOULD YOU AND LINDA MIND GOING
IN THE OTHER ROOM FOR A MINUTE?
282
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,695
- I WANT TO TALK
TO CHRISSY ALONE.
- Jack: OH SURE.
283
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,053
- LINDA?
- OKAY.
284
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:28,570
CHRISSY, CHRISSY, I KNOW
ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
285
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,839
- YOU DO?
- MM-HMM.
286
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,842
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN
287
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,112
COUNT ON ME IN
YOUR HOUR OF NEED.
288
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:40,182
OH THAT'S REALLY SWEET
OF YOU, MRS. ROPER!
289
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,819
I DON'T WANT TO
GET PERSONAL, DEAR,
290
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:48,090
BUT WOULD YOU LIKE TO
TELL ME HOW THIS HAPPENED?
291
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,015
I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA.
292
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,065
YOU DON'T?
293
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:59,790
WELL, MAYBE IT'S FROM
EATING TOO MUCH ITALIAN GOOD.
294
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:06,108
OH CHRISSY, I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR US TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.
295
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,532
WELL, JACK THINKS IT'S A VIRUS.
296
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,036
I BETTER HAVE A
TALK WITH HIM TOO.
297
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,352
I DON'T CARE. ALL I WANT TO
DO IS GET THIS THING OVER WITH,
298
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,587
AND I HOPE IT NEVER
HAPPENS AGAIN.
299
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,889
WELL, THAT'S UP TO YOU, DEAR.
300
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,193
NOW YOU MIGHT BEGIN BY
BEING A LITTLE BIT CAREFUL
301
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,562
ABOUT THE BOYS YOU GO OUT WITH.
302
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:29,887
YOU THINK ONE OF MY BOYFRIENDS
HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS?
303
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,070
OH MY LORD.
304
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,806
IT'S A MIRACLE THIS NEVER
HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE.
305
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,409
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? ALL
I WANT TO DO IS GET RID OF IT.
306
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:44,302
CHRISSY... I WANT
YOU TO KEEP IT.
307
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,874
WHY? IT'LL JUST GET BIGGER.
308
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,323
OF COURSE IT WILL!
309
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,716
MY AUNT HAD ONE
THAT WEIGHT 9 1/2 LBS.!
310
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,933
REALLY?!
311
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:08,959
AND MY SISTER HAD ONE
THAT WEIGHED OVER 10 LBS.
312
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,607
NO...
313
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,071
HERS IS AT HARVARD
MEDICAL SCHOOL NOW.
314
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,034
I'LL BET IT IS.
315
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,849
CHRISSY, DEAR,
JUST WAIT ONE YEAR.
316
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,742
IF YOU STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY,
YOU COULD ALWAYS GIVE IT AWAY.
317
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,325
WHO'D WANT A THING LIKE THAT?
318
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:34,163
LOTS OF PEOPLE! CHRISSY, THERE'S A
LONG LIST OF PEOPLE WAITING TO ADOPT.
319
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:38,734
- ADOPT? SOMEBODY WANTS
TO ADOPT MY WART?
- YES, OF COURSE!
320
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,270
WHY, PEOPLE ARE JUST STANDING
IN LINE WAITING TO ADOPT YOUR...
321
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:45,262
(stammers) WART?
322
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,211
DID YOU SAY WART?
323
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,734
YEAH, SEE?
324
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,939
(laughing)
325
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,223
YOU MEAN THAT...
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
326
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,359
YEAH, WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS?
327
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,484
(laughing)
328
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,775
I THOUGHT YOU WERE PREGNANT!
329
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:16,394
PREGNANT? UNTIL I GET RID OF
THIS THING I CAN'T EVEN GET A DATE.
330
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,977
HEY, JACK, LINDA, YOU
CAN COME OUT NOW.
331
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:26,203
(continues laughing)
YOU GOTTA...
332
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,740
STANL...
333
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,612
THERE...
334
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,426
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
335
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,185
STANLEY TOLD ME
CHRISSY WAS PREGNANT!
336
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,501
- PREGNANT?!
- YEAH.
337
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,135
- LITTLE CHRISSY?
- YEAH.
338
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,905
- Jack: OUR INNOCENT
LITTLE CHRISSY?
- Helen: YEAH.
339
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,140
(All laugh)
340
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,164
WHO'S THE GUY? I'LL KILL HIM.
341
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,814
JACK, IT WAS A MISTAKE. THEY
THOUGHT MY WART WAS A BABY.
342
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,649
WHAT?!
343
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,719
WHAT MADE MR. ROPER THINK
THAT CHRISSY WAS PREGNANT?
344
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,322
WELL, HE SAID THAT
HE HEARD IT UP HERE.
345
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,257
- FROM US?
- YEAH, YEAH.
346
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:12,193
HE JUST TOLD ME. HE
CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM
347
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:15,397
WHERE WE WAS FIXING THE DRAIN
AND HE SAID, "CHRISSY'S PREGNANT."
348
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,667
- FIXING THE DRAIN?
- YEAH, JACK, IT WAS SO FUNNY!
349
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,237
YOU KNOW, I EMPTIED THE
WATER ALL OVER HIS FACE.
350
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:26,107
SEE, I DIDN'T REALIZE HE HAD TAKEN
OUT THAT BIG PIPE UNDERNEATH THE SINK.
351
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,109
- SO I WENT OVER...
- WAIT A SECOND,
352
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,979
THAT BIG PIPE CONNECTS TO THE
ONE DIRECTLY IN OUR BATHROOM.
353
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,681
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
354
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:37,253
YOU MEAN MR. ROPER HAS BEEN
LISTENING TO US THROUGH THE PIPE?
355
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,989
EAVESDROPPING? NAH...
356
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,014
EVEN STANLEY WOULDN'T
DO A ROTTEN THINK LIKE THAT.
357
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,629
- WOULD HE?
- Jack: WAIT A MINUTE.
358
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:51,500
THAT EXPLAINS HOW HE KNEW ABOUT
OUR BLENDER EXCUSE THIS MORNING.
359
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,871
OH AND HOW HE HIDES
HIS MONEY IN HIS MATTRESS.
360
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,729
IS THAT WHERE HE KEEPS IT?
361
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,279
- EAVESDROPPING? OF ALL THE ROTTEN...
- WAIT A MINUTE, JACK.
362
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,981
- THERE'S NO RESPECT OF PRIVACY.
- WE COULD BE BEING UNFAIR.
363
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,051
WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE
THAT HE WAS EAVESDROPPING.
364
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,719
WELL, THERE'S ONE
WAY OF FINDING OUT.
365
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,421
CHRISSY, GET INTO THE BATHROOM.
366
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,223
I DON'T HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
367
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,607
NEITHER DO I. JUST GET IN
THERE AND TALK TO THE SINK.
368
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,896
WHAT DO I SAY TO A SINK?
369
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,599
NO, JUST TALK INTO THE SINK.
370
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,535
WHATEVER I SAY, YOU ANSWER
"THAT'S WONDERFUL," OKAY?
371
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,304
JUST TRUST ME.
372
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,648
Mrs. Roper: COME ON, COME ON.
373
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,397
- SHH!
- HI, CHRISSY!
374
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,681
CHRISSY, I'M SO GLAD
YOU HAD THAT LONG TALK
375
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,716
WITH MRS. ROPER ABOUT YOUR BABY.
376
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,540
ISN'T THAT NICE?
377
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,509
WELL, ISN'T IT?
378
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:50,058
- THAT'S WONDERFUL!
- OH YES.
379
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,650
SHE'S SUCH A GOOD
FRIEND, ISN'T IT GREAT?
380
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,831
THAT'S WONDERFUL!
381
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:59,034
SHE'S SO UNDERSTANDING...
OW! THAT HURTS!
382
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:02,137
- THAT'S WONDERFUL!
- CHRISSY.
383
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,740
I'M SURE EVERYTHING
WILL BE OKAY NOW
384
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,709
THAT MRS. ROPER HAS OFFERED
385
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,911
TO PAY FOR ALL OF
THE BABY EXPENSES...
386
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:13,549
THE HOSPITAL, THE DOCTOR,
THE PRIVATE NURSES,
387
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:16,218
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!
388
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:20,055
SHE SAID SHE'D BE WILLING TO
SPEND EVERY PENNY THEY'VE GOT.
389
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,224
Both: THAT'S WONDERFUL!
390
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,926
(all laughing)
391
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,062
OH JACK, THAT WAS GREAT!
392
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,898
YOU GUYS REALLY HAVE A
LOT OF FUN IN THIS BUILDING.
393
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,234
I WONDER IF MR. ROPER
WAS LISTENING.
394
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:36,494
NAH... YOU KNOW, STANLEY
DOES HAVE SOME CLASS.
395
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,623
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
396
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,200
BUT NOT MUCH.
397
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,549
HEY, DOCTORS AND HOSPITALS
COST A FORTUNE THESE DAYS.
398
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:50,351
LISTEN, IF YOU NEED MY ADVICE,
I'LL BE GLAD TO GIVE IT TO YOU.
399
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,888
WHY, MR. ROPER, WHAT ON
EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
400
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:56,592
- CHRISSY'S BABY.
- WHERE DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT THAT?
401
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,794
THROUGH THE PIPE. I KNOW
A WONDERFUL DOCTOR...
402
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,597
WHAT PIPE IS THAT, MR. ROPER?
403
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:03,632
THE PIPE IN THE
BATHROOM. ANYWAY...
404
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,437
SO YOU WERE EAVESDROPPING!
HOW COULD YOU?!
405
00:22:06,461 --> 00:22:07,035
WELL...
406
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:10,306
- THAT'S ILLEGAL, MR. ROPER.
- Mr. Roper: IT IS?
407
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:14,209
YEAH, ISN'T THAT
LIKE WIRE-TAPPING?
408
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,846
IT'S WORSE! IT'S PIPE-TAPPING!
409
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,049
- I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING...
- THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, MR. ROPER.
410
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,151
- YOU VIOLATED
THE CONSTITUTION.
- I DID?
411
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,695
YES, THERE IS NOTHING MORE
SACRED THAN A MAN'S PLUMBING.
412
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:32,127
- YOU VIOLATED
THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS!
- AND THE BABY'S CIVIL RIGHTS.
413
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:35,296
YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE, STANLEY, IF
THEY DECIDE TO TAKE YOU TO COURT.
414
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,066
- BIG TROUBLE.
- NOW YOU BETTER TELL THEM
YOU'RE SORRY.
415
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:42,004
OKAY. LISTEN, I'M
REALLY VERY SORRY.
416
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:44,472
AND YOU'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
417
00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,675
AND I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
418
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,268
AND YOU'LL TAKE $50
OFF THIS MONTH'S RENT.
419
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,906
AND I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
420
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,588
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
FORGET THE 50 BUCKS.
421
00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:01,690
- OH THAT'S GREAT!
- OKAY, LET'S GO HOME NOW.
422
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,159
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH
DAMAGE FOR ONE DAY. COME ON.
423
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:05,827
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
424
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:09,064
- WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?
- THERE IS NO BABY!
425
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:11,633
YOU GOT THE WHOLE
STORY ALL MIXED UP.
426
00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:15,170
- NOW COME ON, STANLEY.
- WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE.
427
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:18,073
IF THERE'S NO BABY, WHAT WAS
CHRISSY TRYING TO GET RID OF?
428
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:20,397
A WART.
429
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,301
A WART?
430
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:29,106
YEAH, A WART, BUT WE'VE DECIDED
TO KEEP IT AND NAME IT AFTER YOU.
431
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,565
ONCE I GET THIS
PIPE BACK IN HERE,
432
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:46,101
YOU'LL GET ALL
YOUR PRIVACY BACK.
433
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,570
- ARE YOU SURE, MR. ROPER?
- DEFINITELY.
434
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,906
- CHRISSY?
- YES, MR. ROPER?
435
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:54,342
WHEN I KNOCK THREE TIMES,
START SINGING SOMETHING.
436
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,912
- WHAT SHALL I SING?
- IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT YOU SING.
437
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,036
WE'RE NOT GONNA HEAR IT ANYWAY.
438
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,218
YOU'LL SEE. THIS IS GONNA BE
COMPLETELY SOUNDPROOF NOW.
439
00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:05,375
I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
440
00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:10,180
OKAY... NOW... JUST LISTEN.
441
00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:21,770
Chrissy: ♪ RAINDROPS
KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD ♪
442
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,940
♪ THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT MY EYES
443
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,064
♪ WILL SOON BE TURNING RED... ♪
444
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:34,404
(theme music playing)
445
00:24:50,756 --> 00:24:53,168
Ritter's voice: THREE'S
COMPANY WAS VIDEOTAPED
446
00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:55,125
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
33274
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