All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S01E18.Sweet.Charity.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

♪ Those fingers in my hair

♪ that sly come-hither stare

♪ that strips my
conscience bare ♪

♪ it's witchcraft...

Salem, did I hear you singing?

No, I was just...

It's okay! I came in
'cause it sounded good.

Oh, come on. Enough.

You think?

Yeah, I just wanted
a front-row seat.

Me, too.

Right behind you.

Well, well, well

old yellow eyes,
you've still got it.

Hit it, cat.

♪ And I've got

♪ no defense for it

♪ the heat is too
intense for it ♪

♪ what good would
common sense for it do... ♪

[ Hacking cough]

Hairball.

Hairball.

So-fari, so-goody.

It's an interesting
theory, Jenny

but I don't think there's a
force field around this table.

Then why isn't anyone signing up

to adopt a grandparent?

You think it's clear
that these adoptions

are not legally binding?

Hi, guys.

Libby, can I sign you up

for the adopt-a-grandparent
program?

Actually, I came
over to tell you guys

about mynew community service...
It's the adopt-a-life program.

May I sign you up?

Don't answer, it's
a trick question.

See you, freak.

Frizzy freak.

Frizzy? These
happen to be curls.

Let it go, Jenny.

Take the high road.

What's going on?

Some foreign exchange students

are sitting at our table.

Deport them.

What's with your socks?

Did you get dressed in
the dark this morning?

No, I...

How did this happen?

Quick, switch socks
with each other.

What?

I need a trend

and I need it now.

Hey, Harvey, over here.

We need you to sign up.

I did on my way in.

Yeah, but nobody else has.

So could you do it
again and do it loudly.

All right.

Sure, I'd love to
adopt a grandparent.

Old people are so much fun.

They know tons of stuff

and sometimes
they give you money.

Shh! Don't go there.

Well, at least we
filled the sign-up sheet.

Yeah, but it's all Harvey
and mighty mouse.

So, then my dance
instructor said...

Hey, look at her.

She matches.

[ Laughing]

What are you making?

Hair soup.

I thought long
tresses would look nice

for a change.

Mmm. Tastes really wavy.

Sorry I'm late.

It took longer at the
bookstore than I expected.

Did you get me cat fancy?

Yes. And Salem,
here's your new republic.

Thanks.

I hate the politics

but brustein on the
theater is a revelation.

Why do you keep smiling?

I do not.

Yes, you do.

Do not.

Fine. Don't tell me.
I can twist your arm.

Cut it out.

Oh, you...!

Ow! You're pulling my ear!

Let go of my arm!
Let go of my ear!

Enough! Okay, I'll tell you.

[ Sighs]

I met a guy at the bookstore.

Oh really? What
was his pickup line?

He didn't have one... he mistook
me for an employee and asked

if we carried any books on
meeting intelligent women.

Mm-mmm.

You think you'll see him again?

He took my number,
but it wasn't a pickup.

Soup's on.

You want some?

Just a smidge in the bowl.

How about you
Zelda? It's hair soup?

No thanks. I just got mine cut.

[ Phone ringing]

I'll get it.

Hello...

Oh, yuck.

There's a hair in my hair soup.

Of course, I remember you, Rick.

No, I'm still here.

What's she smiling about?

A boy.

Hold on, Rick.

I'm going to grab the cordless.

You were saying?

You want some hair soup?

It's really thick and luxurious.

No, thanks. I'm on my
way to the senior center.

But I should probably
bring them something.

Chewy caramels. That's perfect.

This is already better

than visiting my
real grandparents.

I don't have to take
my earrings out.

How do we know
which one to choose?

I see mine.

Hi.

This is kind of awkward,
but would you like to be

my grandmother?

Of course.

That would be lovely.

But before I start
bragging about you

I need to know your name.

I'm Sabrina. And what's yours?

You can call me Nana.

Great.

An awkward silence.

It's like we really are family.

Here.

How about looking

at my scrapbook?

Wow. Awesome
photo of Elijah wood.

Aw, he's my little honey.

You know him?

Noah wyle introduced us.

You know Noah wyle?

Only through Christian slater.

I love Christian slater.

How do you know these people?

Well, when you get to be my age

you know just about everybody.

Howard, did you come
to adopt a grandparent?

No, I'm here to take a
photo for the school paper.

We're doing an article
on community service.

It's called "westbridge cares."

But apparently not that much.

I'll go set up.

Excellent timing.

A photo will be great
publicity for the program.

Yeah. I only wish we could have
gotten someone cool to be here.

Thanks a lot.

You know what I mean.

Someone who others follow.

Like Libby, the lord high
empress of westbridge?

I thought she was
sophomore class president.

Libby would never
show her face here.

Maybe we could fake it.

My dad says Russia's
on their third Boris yeltsin.

Oh, come on, you
can't fake a person.

Of course, you can't.

Got to go.

This is the worst thing
I've ever had to do.

Eww.

All right, I'm here.

Libby! what are you
doing at the senior center?

I thought I'd stop by
and improve your image.

You're going to help us?

Look, I know I'm
completely shallow

and self-absorbed

but every now and
then I think of others.

Howard: All set.

If you could stand together.

No problem.

How's this?

You mean, next to you?

Sure.

Smile.

Now put that on the front page.

And, remember...

Old people are the coolest.

You can quote me on that.

I will. Thanks, Libby.

What a scoop.

Now that the reporter's
gone, I guess I'll go, too.

Bye.

Did you see that?

Libby treated me like a human.

I'm glad we took a picture.

Cause' Sabrina's going
to think we pulled a yeltsin.

Hey. What's up?

Libby was just here.

No!

Well, that ought
to get kids involved.

Sabrina, look.

The senior center photo
made the front page.

Cool. Has Libby seen this?

[ Screaming]

What is this?

A photo of you
standing next to Jenny.

Oh, I would not.

This is a fake.

They must have put my
face on someone else's body.

And not a very good one.

But it quotes you as saying

"old people are the coolest."

No... cheerleaders
are the coolest.

Harvey, you were
at the senior center.

You didn't see me there, right?

Libby, you did a good thing.

Deal with it.

I've been framed!

What's with her?

How can she not remember?

Isn't it obvious?

Libby has multiple personalities

and we finally

met the nice one.

Today we're going
to be studying sight

and there's more to this
subject than meets the eye.

Mr. Pool?

Oh. Yeah?

Before you begin, i'd like
to make an announcement

to the class, regarding the front
page of the school newspaper.

Oh, you know what,
I noticed that myself

and may I say I
was proud to have

all three outstanding
citizens in my class.

Libby, Harvey, Jenny...

You are the hope of america.

Now let's hear it for these
everyday heroes, huh?

[ Scattered applause]

Now, uh, what was
it you wanted to say?

Nothing.

We'll be at the
center again today

if anyone else wants to join us.

Us?

I don't recall seeing
youthere, Sabrina.

Hey.

Hi.

I see the hair spell kicked in.

I probably shouldn't have had
that second bowl of hair soup

but... thought mutton chops
were nice for a change.

You look like Greg allman.

I'll take that as a compliment.

So, how was your date with Rick?

Oh, not so good.

I'm starting to
feel really weird

about the age difference.

I mean, normally, I don't
care about these things

but Rick keeps bringing up stuff

that makes me feel old.

Like what?

Oh, he keeps talking about

how he can't wait for
the turn of the century.

Big deal.

I've done that five times.

And it's always the same.

I've partied like it
was 1699, 1799, 1899.

This time I'm staying home.

Exactly. Think i'm going
to break off our relationship.

You haven't even
given him a chance.

You grow a little facial hair

and suddenly you're on his side.

Hey, look at me.

I'm a hippie cat.

Try some fudge.

Pete Sampras sent it to me.

And who sent you the turtles?

Chris O'Donnell?

No. Leonardo DiCaprio.

Mmm. Then I'll
have one of these.

Oh, excuse me.
I'll be right back.

Hey, guys, where you going?

You got to pick out a
grandparent while they last.

No, thanks.

We only came because we
thought Libby would be here.

And she's not, so we're going.

But you can't go.

We need people

and maybe Libby will come.

In fact, I'm sure
Libby will come.

Oh, I think I see her now.

Oh, man, not again.

Stupid Libby.

Hi, guys.

Libby. you made it.

Sabrina told me
you were taking off.

No.

Old people are the coolest.

You got that right.

Oh, there's Jenny.

Hi, Jenny.

How's it going?

Good.

Nana...

Sabrina had to
run out for a minute

so she asked me to take over.

I'm Libby.

Pleasure to meet you.

Turtle?

Mr. Berry, are you sure
you want to do that?

I admit leaving my
king unprotected

is a somewhat risky strategy

but I think I know
what I'm doing.

You beat me ten times in a row.

I'm not going to argue with you.

Hey, checkmate!

How about that.

It's time for a victory soda.

Libby?

Yeah, Harvey.

Can I get you a soda?

Sure. I'd love a ginger ale.

Harvey...

You must have been super thirsty

if you couldn't wait
for me to bring it back.

Here you go.

What's this?

It's your soda.

Ginger ale? What kind
of freak drink is that?

I only drink diet.

But you asked for this.

No, I didn't.

Now move. I'll get my own soda.

You know, I think I your
other personality better

even if she does pick her nose.

Hey, I got an extra soda.

Do you want it?

I never turn down a free drink.

Harvey.

Where's my soda?

You said you didn't want it.

When?

You called it a "freak drink."

I would not... yes, I would.

Got to go.

Oh! Stupid, old
people's soda machine.

Sorry, sir. I need the phone.

If you have a problem
with that, my name is Libby.

Shut the door!

Oh, finally.

Hi, Libby. You made it.

This stupid machine
gave me ginger ale.

I won't drink this.

I will.

Thanks.

All right, I'm here.

Isn't anyone going to say "hi"?

We already did.

When you first came in.

I didjust come in.

This isn't funny anymore.

And what are you
doing with that old lady?

That's the way the program
works. You select a grandparent

and spend some time with them.

And what's the catch?

There isn't a catch.
You get the satisfaction

of doing something
nice for someone.

Libby... Libby!

I guess I'll go with her

since she already
seems to know me.

Isn't it great?

Look: Everyone has someone.

I know, it's working
better than I ever imagined.

And it's all thanks to Libby.

Libby?

You know, deep down

she's a really good person.

I wouldn't go that far.

I mean, I'm sure
Libby can be nice

on rare occasions
when I'm not around

but most of the time
Libby is just... Libby.

Oh, Sabrina, if only you could
have seen the way she waved at me.

But I did. It was like this!

You are not.

I'mthe world's biggest
Johnny Depp fan.

Hey. What's up?

May we help you?

I just wanted to talk to Nana.

Oh, I'm afraid
that's impossible.

She's my Nana now.

Aunt hilda, you got a sec?

Yeah.

I have a problem.

I'm yours.

I always have
time for girl talk.

This isn't about boys.

This is about Libby.

Is she being mean again?

No. She's being nice.

It's just as bad.

You see, Jenny and I started
this adopt-a-grandparent program...

Uh-huh.

And then Libby got involved.

Now she's queen
of the senior center.

Why does she always have to win?

Sabrina, charity's
not a contest.

It sounds like when Libby
wins, everybody wins.

Not me. I lost.

She stole my
adopted grandmother.

Well, then why don't
you get a new one?

Because all the
good ones are taken.

Just wait.

People get old all the time.

And remember,
virtue is its own reward.

Thanks for the advice.

Now can I give you some? Hmm?

Get some tattoos;
You'll work forever.

[ Laughing]

It's not fair.

She was mine first...

Not that I don't enjoy

getting to know
you, Mrs. Hartel.

So, James michener's Hawaii...

Now, what's this about?

You make it sound like
so much fun, Mr. Berry.

Why did they call
it "the depression"?

Not everybody liked
apples as much as I did.

So tell me more
about Ethan hawke.

Oh, he's a nice boy.

Does he ever come to visit?

When I call him.

Well... what are
you waiting for?

Poi is made from taro root.

Isn't that fascinating?

I'll read on.

Libby: Hi, Sabrina.

I just was getting

some sodas for me and Nana.

That's nice. I'm going home.

So soon? Why?

Well, I've been here two
hours, and Mrs. Hartel woke up

just long enough to
tell me why foreigners

are ruining this country and
then she went back to sleep.

Oh, too bad.

Nana and I are
having the best time.

In fact, I this project may
turn out to be very rewarding.

I should thank you
for that, Sabrina.

You're thanking me?

Well, I better go back in now.

I don't want to keep
mynana waiting.

Ha!

Would you initial here, sir?

Thank you.

And it's "ma'am."

Who was that?

More flowers.

Oh, Rick is not
giving up easily.

He is one determined young man

but not so young as to make
a relationship impossible.

They are beautiful, aren't they?

Zeldie, do what you want

but, uh, my female
intuition tells me

you still like this guy.

And if that's true

you shouldn't let
age get in the way.

You're as young as you feel.

I'm 612.

Do I look it?

Well...

The beard makes you look older.

But you might be right.

There's a lot of
stuff about Rick I like

and maybe he'll mature.

I think I'll call him.

Oh, and hilda...
Thanks for caring.

That's what sisters are for.

Wait.

Oh! Ow!

Don't pull.

And so the outer ear
channels the sound waves

to the eardrum, which
picks up the vibrations.

Then three tiny
bones in the middle ear

carry the movement
to the cochlea

which is filled with fluid

and cells with tiny
hairs that move

and... do you think

I can't hear you whispering?

Come on. I've got three
tiny bones in my ear.

Now, somebody want to tell me

what this is all about?

What? Libby's going
to meet Ethan hawke?

How do you know him?

He's a friend of a friend.

You do a good deed,
you get a little back.

What's so funny?

Oh, um...

The word "cochlea."

I just...

You were laughing at
me in class, weren't you?

Yes, you were. No, I wasn't.

Oh, come on. I've
laughed at enough people

to know when I'm
being laughed at.

Okay. I was but...

Just because I never
thought you'd be so gullible.

"Gullible"?

You want to tell me what
you mean by that... quietly?

Let's see, how can
I put this nicely?

Oh, I can't.

Nana's whacked.

Look, she doesn't know
Pete, she doesn't know Keanu

she doesn't Noah, and
she doesn't know Brad.

Yes, she does.

I've seen the scrapbook.

So have I. It's all
cutouts from magazines.

But have you seen
any real proof?

She has a Johnny
mnemonict-shirt.

Look, I fell for it, too.

I mean, who wouldn't...?

Till the DiCaprio turtles.

You mean, Leonardo
didn't make this?

Eat it.

Let the sugar comfort you.

All the time I spent with
Nana has been a total waste.

No, you made a dear
old woman happy.

Oh, please.

If I could sue, I would.

Look, why don't you
just forget about it.

How? Itwas just

announced to the whole class

which means itwill
spread to the entire school

which is exactly what I wanted

when I thought I was
going to meet Ethan!

Libby, you're getting all red.

I'm so humiliated.

She's not going to
get away with this.

What is that supposed to mean?

After school I'm going
to the senior center

and rip Nana a new Afghan.

Look, leave her alone.

Why don't you take it out on me?

You love doing that!

I want to talk to you!

Libby, what a pleasant surprise.

Sit down, Nana, if
that isyour real name.

What's wrong?

You seem upset.

I amupset.

You said I was going
to meet Ethan hawke.

Well, you're not.

So you lied to me.

That's a little harsh.

In my day, we called
them "tall tales."

You have no idea what
you've done, do you?

Not really.

I'm going to be teased
about this for weeks

and then again, every time a
new Ethan hawke movie comes out.

I mean, my only hope
is his career takes

a total nose-dive,
which means I have

to root against him,
and I've really cared.

Sorry.

"Sorry" is not enough.

You did a number on me.

I hope you're happy

you lying, sad,
patheticold woman!

Libby?

Libby...

Libby!

I never meant to hurt you.

Ooh... she was mad.

Sabrina... you're right.

I thoroughly enjoyed my walk.

Well, a little fresh air
always does one good.

So is it just you and me or
will Libby be stopping by?

Oh, I don't think you'll
see her around here again.

She... made up with
her real grandmother.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, I'll miss her.

She's such a sweet girl.

Nana, you're an excellent
judge of character.

Hey, do you want
to catch a movie?

Sure. We'll go see
one of your friends.

I think Ethan hawke
has a new movie out.

Uh-huh. He called.
Oh, what did he say?

Asked all about you.

Hi.hey...

Where have you been?

Nana and I went to see
the new Ethan hawke movie.

It's going to be huge.

Hey, you shaved your beard.

Yeah. The upkeep was too much

and the weirdest guys
kept coming on to me.

Zelda: You nut.

Who's aunt Zelda with?

Rick. The younger man
is back in the picture.

I've got to check this out.

Pardon me...

Mr. Berry? Sabrina.

You know each other?

Yes. From the senior center.

What a small world.

Sabrina is my niece.

You look too young
to be her aunt.

Oh, Rick.

[ Chuckles]

I'll leave you two alone.

Hey, Salem, you want a...?

Whoa! What happened to you?

Too much soup.

Groom me.

Please, groom me!

[ Sobbing]

Hey, Zelda, did you have some
of the tuna noodle casserole

I put in the fridge last night?

No. Why?

Somebody took a
big chunk out of it.

I'd check with Salem.

Right. Tuna.

Well, he'll regret that.

I threw in the leftover soup.

You didn't.

Yes. I know

it has horrible side effects

but I just hate
throwing away food.

Good morning.

What? What?

Not Salem.

[ Screams]